#I'm so tired of y'all getting distracted from the goal that we are here for

[feral-radfem]

I have no problem with equalitarians, I disagree with their approach but their movement is for a good cause. If they think clumping all oppressed minorities into one movement because every oppressed group has people in it who experience further oppression within them, so be it. That's their prerogative.

I, however, do believe that this causes division from the main goal of any given social movement and plays into Oppression Olympic dispositions. Just like every minority group has individuals who are also oppressed on other status, the same is true about people within a minority group being someones oppressors on other axises. While I definitely wish we could all just agree to support one another against all systematic structures of oppression that is simply unrealistic. I have no desire to work within the realm of the idealists.

A women's movement should just be about women's oppression, misogyny. Helping the most women, with the greatest need, as much as we can regardless of other factors. A gay movement should be about SSA people's oppression, homophobia. Helping the most SSA , with the greatest need, as much as we can, regardless of other factors.

Forcing communities to try to team up ends up with these communities fighting themselves more than their oppressors. I'm mean most of radical feminist spaces are broken up and divided on different oppressed identities where we are justifying the sexist mistreatment of other women, in our anti-misogyny space, because they are somebody elses oppressor on a different axis. Or we are justifying removing them from radical feminist spaces and its entirety over issues that are not misogyny. Limiting the support and help they can get as a woman facing misogyny. Other identifying factors should be irrelevant because this space isn't for advocating against homophobia, classism, or ableism.

Even though things have the possibility of affecting some of the women here. We can observe which demographic of women may have the most need for any given solution based on these factors, and we should, but that is as far as it should go or else we are slipping into egalitarian territory. Radical feminism is not an egalitarian movement.

While I wish every woman here wouldn't be homophobic, normalizing homosexuality is not the goal of feminism. While I wish they would not be ableist against the mentally ill, advocating for the acceptance of mentally ill individuals on the bases of their illness is not the goal of radical feminism. This remains the case even though there are women who are gay and who are mentally ill. We would help those women's with the sex-based oppression they are experiencing, and then they would go to mental health or gay activists to fight for their rights on those fronts. Where, I can admit men will most likely be the focus, but much like all women benefit from women's rights and liberations, all mentally ill people benefit from policies against discrimination for the mentally ill. Even if they were made with only men in mind. Same for any other axis of oppression.

I can recognize, even as a feminist, that trying to make political topics of class away from the poor general population to just poor women is divisive and limits the scope of support from class efforts. Because while there may be people who agree with one topic, they may not agree with the other, and they were trying to collect support and funds for their social movement so that they can make change for the whole group they are advocating for.

Every minority group is in conflict for finite resources. Each social movement is fighting for money, exposure, positive propaganda, activists, politicians, and the legal consideration. Most of these things have limited slots and we can't all share them.

So this is my controversial opinion: When you join a social movement, join it for the whole movement not just for the parts that benefit you. Realize that you're going to have to fight with women who will gleefully oppress you on other identifiers because this movement is about women. Even the most hateful homophobic, ableist, classist woman has a rightful spot in this movement. You don't have to like her, you don't have to be her friend, you can openly disagree with her if you want but it has nothing to do with feminism, because feminism is about combating misogyny, not every hardship a woman happens to face. Just like every choice of woman makes doesn't make it a feminist choice, every hardship a woman goes through doesn't make it misogynistic hardship.

Understand that we are going to have to go and be a part of multiple movements if we want to uplift every oppressed identity we have. That they cannot all be accomplished under the one umbrella feminism just because they are women in every other oppressed group. That's just egalitarianism which distracts from the goals we could be advocating towards that help liberate all women, such as the Nordic model, porn restrictions, abortion rights, child care, medical misogyny, ect. Obviously these effect women of all demographics across all religions, all races, all sexualities. It would benefit all women to have these things dictated in law and those resources allocated where they need to be.

Honestly, I feel, that equalitarianism is currently the reason people are pretending most men are not oppressors because they are oppressed on different social statuses. It is the death of genuine social movements. It destroys class consciousness and pits the people who should be your allies for this given social movement against one another. Everyone can take the steps they believe is necessary to bring about a brighter future, I just disagree that this is the right one. It feels way too idealistic.

#I'm making a point to only use oppressed examples that apply to me to stop yall before you start on how this is a privileged opinion #which I think the fact that I feel like it's necessary to do so in the first place kind of proves my point. #controversial in my feminist movement to say that this movement is for women in general. all women no matter their other opinions #I dislike their other opinions where I'm hurt by them because this movement is for women #it's not about accepting homosexuality or mental illness or poverty it's about liberating women as a whole #and we are only focusing on the minority subsections of women every time we talk about them #we have got to start talking about women at all and stop trying to break us down to bite-size pieces #lily responds #radical feminism #radfems please touch #terfs please interact #radical feminists please touch #radical feminist #radical feminist theory #radfem lesbian #I don't want to fight about biphobia or lesbophobia any spaces anymore #I don't want to have pissing contest of who's more oppressed #want to fight for women's rights which will benefit all of us #I'm so tired of y'all getting distracted from the goal that we are here for

[skinni-girls-eat-books]

Sunday, April 14th, 2024! Pt 2 (one day NC 🥳)

10:03am: I went back and reread some posts from earlier in the week and remembered that I was doing really good! I think last night was a one off and a little step backwards, but nothing that can't be overcome again. Things happen. People disappoint us and let us down, doesn't mean we have to become hard and cold to the world.

I'm gonna stay positive and know that

1) fake positivity does turn into real positivity after a while 2) positivity attracts people, friends and that's what I would like.

Stay positive! Definitely still process your trauma, but there's so much good in life! Like that awesome feeling when you have a good day with someone new ❤️ I guess I understand wanting to start fresh with someone because it's exciting! Plus be confident knowing that you were never the problem and omg there's so many guys out there that want a chance with you, honestly things will probably get better with age.

Don't be like the boss, a whole ass pharmacist going back n forth with someone beneath him, petty drama, stress and emotional turmoil. I don't want that life, it's bad for your physical body. When I think about the positive feelings I've been having for about the past two weeks, the tension lifts from my body. I have so much to look forward to. And I can't control anyone else's actions, I can only control my actions and my emotions and how I react to things.

This door closing is just opening up a bunch new ones :) and what one man won't do, another man will ❤️ let's work on me so I can find my forever guy ❤️

I love you

6:53pm: Got home from work and I'm bleeding like crazy. Longest month of my life. New homie sounded like he was gonna come over but I think he chickened out? Lmao that's crazy 😂 Had a nice day at work, ranted to the boss and it helped me a lot. He told me to make a pros and cons list and I said that con side would look crazy 🤣 he said he does the same thing and it helps him, also he said the no contact thing is helping him a lot PLUS this man is wildin OUT like every night is a bachelor party or something and I want to be like him haha. So crazy tho he's just like yeah and then I might get back with his gf after a few months like ???? Guys are insane lmao.

Weirdest thing I have thought about today is how prude he* is. 🤔 I really don't have to explain myself but like, he has the two biggest ho friends I've ever seen and acts like I'm just supposed to be some untouchable angel is WACK. Tbh I wouldn't get back together with him for that alone, it's a major rift in our morals. He thinks he/ his friends can just do whatever but then judges girls for doing the same? Icky, double standard ass mf 🤢 this man belongs in the looney bin after last night. Weird ass said he hopes the guy I end up with has wack dick and he hopes nobody is better than him 🤣 who tf says that

I literally had to lie to this man on facetime so he wouldn't have a meltdown if I told him what I really did, getting piped in our bed by a great guy 😂 crazyyyyy flex bro, but yeah keep doing it in y'all's parents house 🥴 literally just gave me icky goosebumps thinking about that.

Who cares lol I'm glad that part of my life is over. I'm tired of looking stupid tbh. Hesitant to do a # days no contact tracker on here because ik it can be counterintuitive to think about him technically, but shit I already think about him anyway, so I think it'll be a good idea to *try* and if it sucks I'll stop.

1:10am: Going to sleep now, didn't do anything after work today but that's ok :) had yogurt and cereal for dinner and both cats are on my bed ❤️ Spent too much time on my phone but it's ok, too. I think I'm gonna do a beginning of the day and end of the day, then I can kinda track triggers that make me want to reach out to him. Ik it's stress but also ik this will help. Distractions are great, but I want better distractions than just being on my phone lol.

Goals for tomorrow: Last OSCE! Study for exam! Study MOA! I know you hate it but that doesn't matter right now, you gotta grind before you party 🎉 Study for Jesse McCartney ❤️ He doesn't want you to fail your exam 😂

Goodnight, I love you so much I hope you had a good Sunday. I'm listening to crime podcasts while I fall asleep, something I couldn't do with you here lol. Perks of being a bachelorette 🤪 Hella peaceful and everything is easy going.

Day 1 NC complete! ❤️🥳