#I've ever been able to envision a life with and I KNOW daydreaming like that is probably bad and dumb and I just feel | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

sapphyreopal5 · 9 months

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I love the Padalecki's a lot both Jared n Gen. I like them both individually and as a team. Having said that I did resonate with your post a lot coz I feel some of things that you said do resonate in terms of what we've seen lately.

You said something like addiction or lack of freedom - is this wrt Jared? Given his MH struggles he definitely has to manage and regulate his life very much hence the need for that rigourous routine that he follows. The fact that he is unable to do that due to his knee must not be so great.

This card according to many sources often suggests there are either problems with addiction and possibly obsessions or there's a sense of oppression, dependency and perhaps a sense of frustration with limitations and a lack of freedom. This card can also suggest there are some hidden desires and fantasies that are 'tempting" to fulfill. I recall a quote I read where he said something asking the lines of his heaven he imagines for him is being able to love freely. I don't believe that this is related to Jensen as some people believe. I do believe however Jared has more subliminal messages in what he says than people realize.

2. What do you think are the things Jared regrets? Is it perhaps relating to SPN n not leaving early enough?

3. They obviously love and respect each other a lot but do you think they are both chasing different professional goals. Could this be a reason for the loss of their intimacy?

4. I know that Jared credits her with saving his life and making a lot of sacrifices for the family. Could it be that it's what driving her to have her own identity through the social circle that she is trying to build really quickly? N by doing so she is leaving herself vulnerable without proper checks and balances in terms of who she lets in. She is obviously very beautiful along with having a great personality so yeah ppl can become obsessed with her.

Coz even I've been getting this feeling a lot lately that she shouldn't be posting as much as she is. I am a very intuitive person as well so the fact that both us feel this way is making feel very nervous.

5. In opposition to her, Jared has shut his social interactions down and is really maintaining a low profile. I feel there is a story here. I intuitively feel that he is working on something massive away from acting more on the lines of producing and therefore SM and fans are just not his focus at the moment. Do you think he is about to land on a huge deal or Career opportunity?

6. Finally last but not the least, what do you think about the J2 relationship at the moment. They go through phases of either being very touchy feely or having an awkward energy between themselves. Do you think they will ever truly forgive each other for prequelgate? Will work together on SPN again. My intuition says that SPN has breathed it's last with J2. I think they could bring it back with Jared at the helm with a recast of young Sam n Dean ( with a bit of a fresh story take).

"1. You said something like addiction or lack of freedom - is this wrt Jared? Given his MH struggles he definitely has to manage and regulate his life very much hence the need for that rigourous routine that he follows. The fact that he is unable to do that due to his knee must not be so great."

First of all, thank you for sending in this ask! I'm glad to hear that my post resonated with you, although I agree with you that in some respects it's worrying (Gen needing to post less because of the people watching her a bit too much). When I speak of The Devil card for Jared, I believe the lack of freedom tidbit applies. Jared comes across as a dreamer and an idealist to me big time, and I believe he probably envisioned his life as being different from what it is on a more personal level. Sometimes people get so "addicted" to daydreaming and "living in their heads" to where they can become out of touch with reality. I do believe however this reading does tie to Jensen in a few ways. One of them being that JA's drinking, which I do believe is one of the things that's starting to wear and tear on the J2 relationship.

Career wise, I think he seems pretty content where his career is headed right now for the most part. I think because of his knee and possibly some other health conditions he has that aren't really discussed in public that this could contribute to this feeling of "being trapped". I was told several times in the last year that Jared needs to check in on his respiratory health..

2. What do you think are the things Jared regrets? Is it perhaps relating to SPN n not leaving early enough?

I know this might feel out of order as far as numerically goes so I apologize if that bothers you, but I wanted to tie the relevant questions together in this ask to try making it as short yet deep and thorough as possible. The things I think he regrets right now pertain to his personal life. Prequel gate certainly did not help matters, let alone the fact The Winchesters was objectively speaking a fail. I believe the fact J2 didn't make TW together does speak of how tightly tied the SPN fandom is to J2 specifically.

I think that there were many things SPN never touched on or barely discussed that could revive SPN (ex. fairy tablet and Faye realm, how souls are really created, Chuck turned out to be a false God, Dean's death and Sam's life afterwards were just a dream, storylines like this could be done to revive SPN). I've made some posts about my own experiences and what I know about "the other side" that could be storylines on their own. The writers of SPN and believe it or not The Winchesters generally had decent "divine hearing" as they picked up on things about "the other side" that others did not.

As far as the J2 relationship, I think one of the biggest things Jared likely regrets how things are between him and JA right now behind closed doors (some of what we see publicly is definitely smoke and mirrors). I highly suspect that there's a 3rd party that's driving a wedge between them, a woman... for those reading this I am not saying it is Danneel because it's not mainly her from what Poseidon's told me. However, Danneel is not helping matters, and frankly should've had NOTHING to do with The Winchesters or SPN at all. I suspect JA's personal life choices that people aren't aware of but some bloggers (some of them also being seers) here on Tumblr speculated on are impacting the J2 relationship more heavily than people are aware of.

I did not mention in the last ask this tidbit of information BUT I also got the 6 of Pentacles card, as seen in the photo above. In my deck the Tarot Nova, this card is portrayed as a loaf of bread. The general meaning of this card is this is a card of giving and receiving but can also connotate to one-sided charity (or possibly ulterior motives behind one's generosity), self-care, and unpaid debts. On a surface level, this would pertain possibly to Jared reaping the benefits of what he's sowed in the past as I do think his career is on a high note.

HOWEVER, in the Tarot Nova this particular card is portrayed as looking like a loaf of bread. For some reason when I received this reading I felt like this particular card has a different meaning and it was hardcore standing out to me for some reason. On a hunch, I looked up the Instagram selfie a fan took with Jensen and looked at the OP's profile. The bible verse 2 Corinthians 9:10 was quoted on his profile. Doing a quick Google search, I saw that it says this: "Now he who supplies seed to the sower and bread for food will also supply and increase your store of seed and will enlarge the harvest of your righteousness."

Some people might say well JA is greedy and that this bible verse can't possibly be applicable. I've learned when it comes to working with deities including Poseidon (Jared's higher self), Hermes and Hades (Jensen's higher selves) and really all other deities, you can't really take things at face value and have to look at how things are connected. This connection signifies that JA and JP are more tied together spiritually than people realize (were actually supposed to incarnate as 2 souls in 1 man but things didn't quite go according to plan), which can explain why they are at times very "in sync" and not realize it...

3. They obviously love and respect each other a lot but do you think they are both chasing different professional goals. Could this be a reason for the loss of their intimacy? 4. I know that Jared credits her with saving his life and making a lot of sacrifices for the family....

Okay now with the Padalecki's marriage, from a psychological point of view many people who are parents feel a loss of freedom. Parenting is the hardest job there is, everyone's got opinions on it but no one's situation is the same. As far as career goes, I think that it may be a small contributing factor. I think however that where things are not so great is there's too much care and focus on public image. Jared's comfort is in wearing the beanie this fandom is well aware of. I saw in the book review video Gen told him to not put it on, which is rather puzzling.

I think that when Jared was gone a lot this may have hurt things but in a video someone sent me a few weeks back that Gen made (albeit while drunk clearly) in response to someone asking how she handles Jared being gone all the time, Jared and her agreed that he would not be gone out of the house for over 2 weeks at a time, and also quietly said "it's in our contract". This may in part explain why Jared always flew home while they were in Canada filming SPN "to be with his family". As far as the "contract" goes, a lot of people will say "TOLD YOU IT WAS A PR MARRIAGE!" Reality is, when it comes to affluent people many will come up with prenuptial agreements including some expectations and "requirements" in the marriage prior to getting married and what they want to happen should they get divorced (who gets what).

What people don't understand is that if there are any ridiculous stipulations in a so called "prenup", such as not going over a certain weight or demanding sex X number of times a week (looking at you Jennifer Lopez), this can actually make it so a prenup is ruled unenforceable by a judge. Prenups also can't dictate things after divorce like child support, child care or how much time each parent spends with their child(ren).

4. (con't.)... Could it be that it's what driving her to have her own identity through the social circle that she is trying to build really quickly? N by doing so she is leaving herself vulnerable without proper checks and balances in terms of who she lets in. She is obviously very beautiful along with having a great personality so yeah ppl can become obsessed with her. Coz even I've been getting this feeling a lot lately that she shouldn't be posting as much as she is. I am a very intuitive person as well so the fact that both us feel this way is making feel very nervous. 5. In opposition to her, Jared has shut his social interactions down and is really maintaining a low profile. I feel there is a story here. I intuitively feel that he is working on something massive away from acting more on the lines of producing and therefore SM and fans are just not his focus at the moment. Do you think he is about to land on a huge deal or Career opportunity?

I think Jared is focusing a lot on his career more and that he is working on something behind the scenes. With what's going on right now however with the actors strike and now the writer's strike I do think that this is not likely the whole story. I strongly suspect a lot of the problems he is struggling with are personal (externally and internally), and not so much career or even financially. Almost half of the cards I saw going back to the reading I did were cups, which is the suit in tarot that pertains to matters of the heart and a couple of wands.

Gen is trying to create an image for herself outside of being known as "Jared Padalecki's wife", which I don't think Jared minds. I do think however Gen is more sheltered and in ways moreso than others her age group are and that we seem to mutually feel more comfortable with. The visions I've been having of a dark haired woman in a bar with a man approaching her rather aggressively have been very vivid I'd say over the last 3-4 months. It's interesting you say you've been having these feelings a lot lately, not sure how long they've been around for. I mentioned the pendulum/abc chart reading I got about the hellhound watching over Gen specifically especially when Jared is gone was a highly worrisome reading I got about a week and a half or so ago, and then I received that initial ask about if I've done a tarot reading on Jared and Gen days later? Weird timing if you ask me...

#jaredweek #jared padalecki #genevieve padalecki #celebrity readings #seers #psychic #tarot #pendulum #divination #deity work #poseidon #Jensen Ackles #J2 #Hermes #Hades #Odin #anti danneel #spn family

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lucianowrites · 7 months

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Why Do I Like Jumpchains?

I have been creating jumpchain content for a bit now. It has begun to color what I'm known for in some spaces. In the Reddit community over jumpchain enjoyers, I'm actually not unknown, due to my passion for this community and the contributions I've made to forcibly expanding and growing our audience and community. But why do I like jumpchains? That's a good question.

For me, jumpchains remind me of the wonder I felt when I first started playing video games. They allow me to feel what it is like to live in another world, another time, sometimes even another country. In doing a jumpchain I don't just think of the powers I/my jumper get or their cool gear, I think of the sights they get to see.

As a child, one of the things that I loved the most about video games were the sights I got to see. Getting to see even things as simple as Kanto region in the original Pokemon games was incredibly exciting to me. Getting to see Yoshi's Island was exciting to me. Nowdays seeing things like the eerie pool rooms and liminal spaces in Anemoiapolis and seeing the dragon filled skies above Skyrim in TES:V excites me. For me, creating a jumper is, in a sense, giving someone else the chance to feel that wonder. I actually like creating jumpers who don't have meta-knowledge or genre-awareness so they can experience the wonders of these places for themselves for the first time.

Another thing that I really like is the freedom jumpchains offer. Video games are inherently limited by the fact that they are programmed and thus have limits (though ones that are being stretched and improved every day) that imagination and imaginary games like jumpchains do not. If you ever wanted to wander Hyrule as a dragon but knew that no Legend of Zelda game would let you do that, well... Jumpchain. If you ever wanted to ride through the Mushroom Kingdom on a F-Zero machine... Jumpchain. If you have *thoughts* about how someone in a Metroid powersuit would do in Castlevania... Jumpchain, baby!

On a more personal level, I also strongly enjoy jumpchains as a sort of escape. I don't mean that in a way that is super depressing or anything, but I'm physically disabled and I'm also chronically ill. My health will... never be good. For the rest of my life. But with a jumpchain I can allow myself to become someone who can do cool stuff that I can't do. As a kid I was a martial artist with formal training in Taekwondo and Karate and less formal training in Muay Thai and Silat, and I LOVED martial arts. I may not ever be able to do the same kind of martial arts shenanigans I could once do, but I can with jumpchains. Between basic perks in jumps like Generic First Jump and full jumps like Generic Fist, I can envision myself doing cool stuff that is beyond my real-life capabilities. I don't often do self-inserts in real, sketched out, chains but I sometimes daydream about self-inserts doing a few jumps. I like to imagine getting the parkour skills of the mario brothers from the Super Mario 64 jump, and spending time on Isle Delfino in the Super Mario Sunshine jump, or spending a decade honing my skills as a martial artist in the Generic Fist jump.

Why do you like jumpchains? If you see this post, and you feel like engaging with it but aren't a jumper yourself, what do you think it'd take for someone to persuade you to try? I'd love to know what could convince you to try out a chain yourself.

#jumpchain #CYOA #Writing #Original Writing

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babstheyaga · 6 months

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Have you ever think about what would happen if reader from the "reality" got isekai into FMOGD universe? The whole situation would go exactly like the novel or manga type beat of "I got isekai into my favorite book/game/show!" Imagine waking up one day at school that seems familiar like you read the description of somewhere, yet you couldn't say that you've seen the place before in your entire life. Then you heard the voice that sounds awfully similiar to what you've heard in the movie theater awhile ago.

"Hey, you gonna wake up or keep napping like a baby?." The voice from above tease you playfully before you slowly refocus your gaze.

This guy look awfully familiar, black hair in wolf cut, mismatch eye colors, goth punk clothes, lots of piercing.

Oh it's Mirage...OH IT'S MIRAGE!

As you look up at him up side down, you realize you're laying on his lap. You felt tears pricking at the corner of your eyes as you felt the flooding tsunami size of glee filled your whole heart. You called his name with a sob then spring up to embrace him tightly while babbling out sweet nothing words to pour your heart out to the character that you finally met and get to hug physically.

How you got here, and how to get back to "reality", those questions and worry can wait. You're occupied with loving your favorite goth best friend Mirage after all.

The responses would be different for everyone, of course, as I'm not the author of your legitimate reactions, only the "character" I make you out to be in the series.

But, my response would surprisingly be either extremely similar in one aspect, and the complete opposite in the other.

Over my years of bad encounters with people, I realize I have very much so a fawn response to people I know, and a horrific flight to strangers.

Putting myself into the shoes of say a scene revolving something similar to Mirage in the hotel alone, where the reader and him have sex while she is tired up... I would have a array of reactions. I don't talk about it often, but I was diagnosed with Dissociative Identity Disorder when I was 19, and since then I've learned a lot about it, like how my alters are basically only males.

I consider myself asexual for this reason. I'm basically totally unable to have any form of sexual encounter with anyone without one of my alters saying "Nope!" And basically running away, thinking the worst of how we even managed to get into that situation. It's a trauma response according to our therapist. I dunno, I know nothing about it.

My protector is a male, I'm extremely close with him, and since I learned he existed through my therapist, I've learned how to communicate with him properly. We have full out conversations now outloud, and he's been known to be one of the only people who are able to take the reins, if you will, whenever in a bad situation, which happens quite often sadly enough.

I would most likely die very quickly if I were situated in that position.

I have way too many mental problems, anger issues and bad anxiety to be able to properly put up a fight.

I guess that's why I write, isn't it? To just get away from my vision of myself in my head, and write what I would like to be on paper. It helps me build more confidence in myself, and in my daydreams for FMOD and COSIO, I envision myself, but my personality is completely different.

I dunno, I have a lot of self hatred. I'd definitely die within the first hour.

"Pick someone." Optimus said.

"I would but oh my lord i'm so not happy right now man - You-you-you-you can't - don 't put me on the spot - i swear to god i'm gonna drown myself in a river - DON'T MAKE ME CHOSE I'M BAD AT DECISIONS - I want my freaking MOM LEMME CALL MY MOM PLEASE -" I said calmly.

#related to fmod #god i love asks

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themomsandthecity · 2 months

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The Pain of Not Being Able to Decide If You've Had Your Last Baby

I've been waffling for a long time about having a third and final baby. Even as I write this, my mind moves simultaneously through two different futures, and I get anxious trying to map out which one is right. In truth, they are more like future tenses: the one that will happen and the one that could have. That's because, no matter how much my heart aches at the thought of it, I'm done having kids. I've decided it, and my husband wholeheartedly agrees. That window is shut. But, every so often, I feel this tinge deep inside and think, "Oh, if I could have just one more baby." In that moment, my logic blurs and all my sound judgment cracks, and I feel stuck in this emotional limbo of wanting something I can't have. Or rather, could have. Because I could have another baby. I was incredibly lucky and got pregnant quickly both times, so there'd be a good chance conception would be swift. I could once again take that pregnancy test and feel my skin prickle with anticipation. I could go about my day with momentary blips of realization that life was literally growing inside me. I could go to doctor appointments, feel that cool gel on my stomach, and listen as a fetal doppler played the musical notes of my baby's steady heartbeat. I could feel the pulsing kicks from within my engorged stomach, a sensation that stuck around for weeks after my two births but is now a distant memory I can't replicate yet miss tremendously. I could go into labor. I could bear down as my husband looked on gobsmacked at the courageous mother of his children. I could push a miracle out of my body and experience for the third time in my life a euphoria stronger than any drug. I could feel the waves of adrenaline slowly taper off as I reveled in what my body was able to create. I could nurse this minutes-old baby. I could feel my milk coming in, the warmth of let-down and the full-body exhale that comes with that first good latch. I could revel in the joy of breastfeeding, which for me was the greatest bonding experience I've ever had with my babies. However . . . But that's not enough to make up for what I'd lose. I could sway dramatically on the pendulum of joy and sadness, of glee and rage, of "I got this" confidence and debilitating anxiety. I could look in the mirror and not recognize the reflection. I could try my best to see past the dark circles under my sleepless eyes, the postpartum acne riddling my chin, and the extra 20 pounds on top of the 20 pounds I was still trying to lose after my second pregnancy. I could desperately hope for my old body back while knowing it could be anywhere from two years until never before those physical changes normalized. I could sink farther away from myself. I could give up the few "just for me" interests I've salvaged through the years, I could debate leaving a career I love in deference to the complexities of childcare. I could put my personal goals and dreams on hold indefinitely. I could put my marriage at risk. I could fight with my husband - not just bickering over dirty dishes or bedtime routines, but painful arguments that we don't have the time or energy to resolve so they just build up, one on top of the other like scar tissue. I could lose patience, and I could lose my ability to keep my own control issues - my temper and my Type A tendencies - in check. With two kids, I'm already struggling to be present and to provide the childhood I'd envisioned for them. I've managed, but adding another child could turn me into a mother I never wanted to be. And then, once my daydream shifts toward nightmare territory, my mind jolts back into action, reminding me of my decision - my decision that I should not go down that path again. Yes, I desperately want just one more pregnancy, just one more empowering childbirth experience, just one more opportunity to bond with a newborn baby who needs nothing from this world aside from me. But that's not enough to make up for what I'd… https://www.popsugar.com/family/Deciding-Have-Another-Baby-45909410?utm_source=dlvr.it&utm_medium=tumblr

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vicariousanti · 4 months

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things i can't relate to that aligns w gay love stereotypes

- immense amount of yearning

personally, i just don't desire romantic love that extremely to the point where i'm laying in my bed at night constantly yearning for a love that may or may not exist. as long as i read some form of romantic media and i have some romance with my close friends, i'm content enough to not yearn (doesn't mean i don't ever desire a romantic partnership though) i also prefer to do romantic experiences irl and not just within my head. like, the main time i'm even able to yearn is if i'm currently experiencing a romantic connection with someone and it makes me daydream about them. and i will find a way to make the daydream happen bc i hate living in my head

- falling in love w straight people

maybe i'm lucky or idk but i've never really found myself heavily desiring someone that was straight? there's just.. not much that attractive to me about straight people. i think maybe there was this one girl i was attracted to and even later on, she turned out to be gay. i really want to know what makes people fall for straight people. bc straight people are usually SO PAINFULLY straight to me. i'm not talking just clothes or whatever. it's the mannerisms, it's the belief systems and values, it's how they think or ways they approach life. queerness is so... so specific and i look at those specifics and that's what makes me attracted to a person. or maybe i just haven't met a straight person that would intrigue me enough for me to be attracted to them, who knows

- the lesbian urge to mesh

i love to be my own individual and vice versa and frankly i would get very annoyed or feel pretty weird if it felt like i couldn't have my own individuality or life to myself. same goes for my partner. like why does love have to equal enmeshment. i don't want to suffocate! there can be distance with love too (to be fair, i have felt this way with people but it was due to them being avoidant in some way and triggering me to be anxious. which led to the illusion that i wanted to enmesh with them, but i didn't)

- uhauling

when it comes to friends or community? yes. i'm down. if i really love a (long-term) friend, and they live somewhere i desire to live as well, i will most definitely pack my bags and pick up a flight. romantically however? hell no. there is no way in hell that i would date someone and move in with them like two months later. i don't understand what's the rush? plus i very much enjoy having my own space and the ability to isolate. so unless it's a two bedroom it's def a no fa me

- phantom ex, aka, 'the one that got away'

this just may be due to the fact that i haven't experienced a healthy intimate romantic partnership, but i just can't really relate. i've had romantic experiences with people where it felt really intense, where at a certain point, i envisioned a future. and even then i get over them kinda quickly... like i'll always be attracted and love them from a distance. but i'm fine with moving on and just finding other people and experiences, albeit they're hard to find. that could change with a first love, but i also simply just don't think i'm the type to heavily ponder and cling onto the past romantically wise. i be excited to venture out into the new tbh

- "i fell in love with my best friend and i haven't told them and it's been two years"

even if i wanted to relate, i couldn't. i try my best to hide my feelings when i like people, and it might work for a good minute...? until you see me hyperventilating and steam is blowing out of my ears and my eyes are teary and my cheeks are red and i'm nervous looking into your eyes and i keep giggling and laughing and i don't know what to do except randomly on a friday night, i'll just scream that i like you. kudos to people that can keep that shit hidden for a while though, must be nice. but i also don't think i would anyway. i wouldn't suffer in silence for that long. i would just want to hurry up and know if i have a chance or not and i simply would be too impatient to wait for that long. like yes, slow burn, but not torturous burn

- unrequited love

often times i try to be very careful with my feelings because i get terrified of liking people and not knowing how they feel back. so in terms of LOVE? i don't think that would ever happen. i simply wouldn't even allow myself to open those gates and take that plunge into falling in love with someone without knowing if they'd even reciprocate. and i don't glorify or romanticize it either. it's either you like me, or you don't. and if you don't, i'll be sad and move on. i am a masochist but that's a different type of masochism i refuse to succumb to. and why would i cling so heavily onto the possibility of it happening with one person when i know i'll probably end up meeting someone else in like a year or two anyway that will more than likely reciprocate my feelings

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