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liquidstar · 29 days

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april fools is over so now im going to be slash srs instead of slash j. im going to post a little excerpt from one of the oc writing practices ive been doing :) again im not super experienced for a variety of reasons but im doing my best here.

but im going to try and put my self conciousness to the side (thats probably an important part of the practice too, right?) since this isnt final version either way, i can just say im sharing a WIP! so for now it will go the way of most of my other oc stuff..... under the cut

the only context you need is that this would be the opening scene for the story. if i post others i'll have to give more context bc most of them are taken from the middle of something. anyway here goes:

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“I love you

I've loved you since the beginning

From when you were only stardust

To when you will rejoin the stars

When everyone will be together again

Understand, you don’t simply live in the universe

You are part of it, taking on a form uniquely alive

You are the universe giving love back to itself

I love you so much”

“Wait!!!”

A lone girl jolts awake, crying a plea into the empty air. Tears stream down her cheeks, as she calls for someone she doesn't know. Her heart aches with a nameless yearning that fades with the memory of her dream. Still, against her will, the emotions linger. A profound sense of love consumes her, an agonizing, grieving love, meant for her. She sighs and wipes away her tears. It was an absurd dream, a ridiculous notion.

As her conscious mind clears, she takes in her surroundings; a forest drowned in the pale blue light of dawn. Her sleeping bag, now encased in dew, was laid on the cold grass. She sits for a while, gazing at the faint sliver of the rising sun’s glow with an indistinct expression, and eventually stands up.

The lone girl begins her daily routine by braiding her hair. With a wave of her hand, she freezes dew on a rock, creating herself a mirror. Her fingers carefully weave her brown locks into a braid, now adorned with a snowflake clip and a scarlet ribbon. She throws on a long blue half-skirt over her shorts, matching her shirt. She forces on a pair of black boots and cuffs on her arm. Lastly, she grabs a moon-themed spear, and she's ready for the day.

Before setting off, she made sure to pack all her belongings, including her numerous hand-drawn maps and a compass. However, she also stops to look into the bag deeper, foolishly expecting to find something new. Instead, she only sighs, "Still no food."

She puts on the backpack and trudges forward anyway, ignoring the hunger pains as best she can. She hums to keep herself distracted.

As she walks, the trees tower above her, shrouding the horizon and taunting her. Birds occasionally fly into view, but seem to disappear in an instant. She wonders if her eyes are playing tricks on her.

The lone girl scribbles on her maps, trying to record a labyrinth of identical tree trunks and twisted paths. This proves useless, as this elliptical forest has her going in circles. Exasperated, she fidgets with her compass, only to see the needle is frantically twitching around. She presses it gently to her forehead and quietly complains, “Don't tell me you're broken…”

Her train of thought was cut short by the sudden sound of running water, so loud she can’t fathom how she’s only now begun to hear it. She decided to put off one problem for another. Following the sound through some shrubs, she quickly finds the source.

Her spear at the ready, she approaches the stream. Scanning its depths for signs of fish, she walks cautiously. Her posture was awkward, her expression was uncertain, betraying her lack of experience. She held her spear to her chest with both arms as she encroached the water’s edge.

She inhales in preparation, removes her skirt and boots, and enters the water with slow, careful steps. The very surface of the stream begins to freeze as it makes contact with her skin. Tiny, thin crystals of ice form as she steps further in. Breathing deeper, as she tries to control the frost, she makes her way to the center of the stream. She stands waiting for fish.

Rather than throwing her spear to hunt, like the intended purpose, she stabs at the water. She’s not good at this, however, and only ends up scaring other potential prey away. She makes several attempts at this but is unsuccessful each time. Refusing to quit, her repeated strikes become more desperate and uncoordinated with each failure. Her growing frustration only makes the water freeze deeper, eventually solidifying around her legs. She yelps, now in a panic, and begins to frantically stab at the ice to free herself.

A mess.

Escaping this ordeal, the lone girl abandons any further attempt at fishing. It probably isn't her calling anyway. She trudges on, lost, wet, cold, and hungry.

She looks at her compass again, her face reflecting in its glass. “You're broken,” she tiredly states, as she feels her eyes begin to well with tears.

“No! No no no! Don't cry! Don't cry Polaris,” The lone girl, Polaris, reassures herself, “Last time you cried you froze your eyelids shut, and that really hurt,” She whines aloud.

Polaris takes a deep breath, slaps her cheeks, and swallows her tears. She elects to follow the river, her only hope of escape, pursuing the promise of a village just beyond this enigmatic forest. She daydreams of a warm meal in a cozy restaurant, and maybe a cold desert too. A glimmer of determination returns to her stride, as she continues her hum from before.

#hi #finn's ocs #i dont know if ill make a writing tag of any kind im still wavering on it #and again its a wip its a draft of a draft and all that #but i did my best for what it is! even if itll be changed later #i tried to avoid exposition abt the powers in this part. thatll come up later in a convo w saiph so its more clear Why #but hopefully the fact that shes just freezing stuff just establishes that there is somekinda power/magic system even w/o details yet idk!#i wont be posting that any time soon tho. its from the same sort of chunk of writing but not as polished as the Polaris Forest Failure Comp #(spoilers for if i post more ig?) this idiot doesnt know shes in the forest that makes you lost lol #but yeah i tried. ok bye

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otterplusharchive · 6 years

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im going to be tagging this appropriately but i want to give a warning at the beginning of this post also that ill be talking about suicide/suicide attempts and death overall in it, its something that because of recent events (thatll become clear further on in this post) ive been thinking about and trying to word. im sorry that this is probably going to be long but ill put a tldr at the end for a large chunk of my life ive been suicidal. im 20 right now and from the ages of 13 to 18 i can tell you that there wasnt a day that went by that i didnt think about killing myself and it was normal for me to try and kill myself once a week. looking back on it now i know that my household and school environment have both been toxic and abusive to me since an early age and that i really was depressed even before i was 13. thoughout my struggles i felt so alone, and the one thought that kept nagging at me was "i dont matter. no one would miss me if i were gone. nothing would change if i were gone. people would be happier if i were gone". last week, my friend passed away. i still dont know the cause, he was still young and healthy, he did obstical courses and had to be physically fit for his job. when i found out that he had died it hit me like a pile of bricks and all i could feel was numb. he wasnt an incredibly close friend, i didnt know everything there was to know about him, but he was still my friend. in my dnd group he was one of two people who i felt respected by and who would treat me with kindness. he made jokes with me, helped me with my characters, asked me how i was doing. he may not have been my best friend but he was still a part of my life and still a friend. over the course of the week it was hard to soak in that someone i cared about was really gone. i kept thinking about how i hadnt gone to dnd in easily a month, kept wondering when the last time i wouldve said goodbye to him was. it really did feel like suddenly a part of my life was shattered and there was a gaping hole there. i couldnt wrap my head around it, it just didnt make sense, i didnt understand why this had happened and i felt guilty for not appreciating my time with him more while he was here. the wake came at the end of the week and a dear friend and i drove to the funeral home, which was actually literally just one turn away from the house where we played dnd with him. we all thought that we would just be saying goodbye to an urn, because it was our friends wish to be cremated, but i stepped inside the funeral home, saw the open casket, and it felt like my heart stopped. i knew i wouldnt be able to handle seeing my friend lying there dead. there were a few people we knew there, most from theater and dnd. we headed over to one particular person who happens to be the tallest man ive ever met. hes a very nice person but when you look at him out of context he seems very imposing and not necessarily friendly. ive known this guy since i was ten and i have never once seen him the way he was at the funeral home. his eyes were red and it was obvious that he had been sobbing, and when he greeted each of us he gave me a big crushing hug and i could just. feel how horrible this was for him. hed grown up with our friend who was lying there in the room. i eventually walked over to the casket and to my friends family, none of who i had ever met, and as soon as i tried to talk to his mother i started crying. i told her through tears that her son had been very kind to me and that i appreciated him a lot. i couldnt walk all the way to the casket because it was too much. i whispered goodbye and left. we drove back in silence. tldr: you have more of an impact on people than you realize. you impact the lives of people you meet even for a moment, even if you never meet them again you still have affected them by meeting them no matter how fleeting. even if youre not best friends with someone your presence still matters and changes both the world and peoples lives. and their lives are absolutely not the same without you. no matter how alone you might feel i can absolutely guarentee that you would be missed. you ALWAYS matter. you ALWAYS are important. your life always has inherent worth and inherent value. youre important to the universe and the people in your life, you matter and the world wouldnt be the same without you. the world is better with you in it and im glad that youre alive. please dont give up on yourself, you are so loved.

#for blacklist:#death #suicide mention #suicide #death mention

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hermadnessty · 5 years

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RULES

PORTRAYAL. As you may have already wagered, this is a blog for the character Jennifer Goines from the TV series 12 Monkeys. I am in no way affiliated with anyone involved in the making and portrayal of Jennifer Goines in film. I’m just a lowly college student who has succumbed to yet another muse.

ACTIVITY. My activity on this blog will be low and sporadic, mainly. I have obligations outside of being on Tumblr as well as multiple muses, so where I’ll be will very much depend on my current muse levels and the level of interest there is in interacting with Jennifer. I'll potentially build a queue that’ll run semi-frequently at some point, but that’s very low priority for me at the moment. If you see me active and I owe you a reply, though, don’t hesitate to give me a little nudge. Sometimes my procrastinating ass needs one.

FORMATTING. With each new blog I make I adopt a new kind of formatting style. The one I use right now is one that I’m very happy with and probably will not be changing anytime soon. Please don’t feel obligated to match this. I’m not super picky about the aesthetics of my blog, and the only change I’ll make ( if ever ) is from normal text to small text. I personally DO NOT use the super small text but if that’s what you like to use it’s fine. I’ve got very little trouble reading it and it doesn’t inconvenience me. I will mirror-format ONLY in some cases and ONLY at the writer’s request.

One other small request I have with regards to formatting is that if you want to continue an ask as an RP that you create a new post and link back to the meme than reblog the ask itself. This is simply personal preference from an aesthetic standpoint as it looks cleaner on my blog. Thank you!

STATUS. As of right now this blog IS mutuals only, but how strict I am with that rule will vary depending on how large this blog becomes. However, all starter calls posted are open to ONLY MUTUALS unless stated otherwise ( those, however, will be rare ). Memes will be open on a case-by-case basis no matter what. PLEASE do not like a starter call not marked for non-mutuals if you are indeed a non-mutual. Send a meme in instead. I’m selective in my immediate follows so interaction through asks helps me gauge if we might be compatible. My IMs are also always open to everyone, and chatting OOC is another good way for me to gauge potential compatibility.

SHIPPING. I’m shipping trash. I love ships as much as the next person, honestly. Chemistry is key though. On both sides. If I’m feeling it but you’re not, please let me know. I’m more than happy to do something unrequited or even just try to tone things down all together. Likewise, if I’m not feeling the chemistry either, I’ll do my best to approach you the same way. Romance is great, but it’s not everything. Friendships. Hate ships. Family ships. All of these are great too and I’m always happy to explore those as well.

AS A NOTE, however, I’d like to make it clear that when it comes to Jennifer, I am fairly set in which ships from her canon that I enjoy and which ones I don’t. Or rather, how I enjoy them and how I don’t. The 12 Monkeys RP fandom is pretty small, but if it ever grows then hopefully the following information is helpful.

Deacon/Jennifer is my OTP. Platonic. Romantic. Everything in between. I fell in love with the ship before watching the show and their chemistry on it only made me love it more. It is VERY likely that this ship will be referenced as part of my main timeline, at least with regards to how I see Jennifer’s feelings toward him. If this is ever a point of discomfort for you, let me know. I can shift accordingly.

Cole/Jennifer I only ship platonically or in the same brief, one-sided context that we were given in canon. I can’t see my views on this ship ever shifting beyond that mindset, so I would appreciate it if the topic is never forced.

Cassie/Jennifer is something I primarily ship platonically, but I see the romantic potential behind it and am more than willing to write it out should the right chemistry develop with my partner.

MEMES. I LOVE MEMES. Seriously. If you want to send in the thing, please do. I will most definitely appreciate it, even if I take three billion years to respond. Memes are ALSO a great way to start RPs with no prior plotting or even prior interaction, so I do really encourage you to send them in! Meme me up, Scotty!

EXCLUSIVITY. As of right now, I am NOT muse exclusive with any blogs and have NO intentions of doing so in the near future. I will, however, consider practicing ship exclusivity in certain cases and am open to having mains as well.

CREDITS. All icons on this blog have been cropped and edited by me using a PSD made by honeypsd. Border is from a glorysoaked pack. Any other blog related graphics will also most likely have been made using templates and PSDs made by honeypsd.

FINAL NOTES / MUN INFO. Congratulations! You’ve finished this brick! Little bit of info about me, the mun. My names Elli. I’m 21 years old and currently studying to become a high school math teacher. Color and winter guard are my life, so if you’re familiar with either please pop in and scream with me about them.

To sum up I’m super friendly and harmless, so never be worried about approaching me via IMs. Sometimes I may come across as a handful, but I’m actually a very chill person and do my best to give everyone in the community the utmost respect. This is a very do unto others type of blog, so if there’s ever an issue with me please don’t hesitate to bring it up. Social cues aren’t the easiest for me to pick up on, so just be frank with me whenever possible and I’ll do my best to do the same with you.

No password is necessary because I’ve always found them rather awkward, but I really appreciate you taking the time to read this. As I’ve said before, I’m always open to interaction and plotting so feel free to hit me up whenever! If we are mutuals you are also always free to ask for my Discord! Have a lovely day!

#rules ///

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