#It worked backwards for awhile from 2019–2021 after I got caught

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Uh-oh. This is bad

#For some reason I always end up predicting my life events through the fiction I write or read with scary accuracy #especially if everything I’m writing/consuming “feels right” and like I’m being pulled into it #I was just pulled into The Metamorphosis and woke up in the middle of the night to finish reading it #I think I know who that book applies to #And now this book… hm #Don’t like that #unreality #magical thinking #tagging as that just in case but it’s happened before multiple times #They’re not necessarily actual premonitions; they’re me subconsciously piecing together a puzzle of clues #that all lead to me figuring out the most likely series of events to follow #Maybe I’ve heard in-depth information about these books before; but only remember it in the back of my mind #so that the front of my mind cannot recall; and have only been guided by what I’ve heard whispered back there #a subconscious switch gets thrown at the critical point and I’m drawn to it #I knew what happened and what was going to happen in 2018 back in 2017 from my sketchbooks and story outlines #I read Crime and Punishment and like clockwork events very similar to what had happened in the book started happening to me #It worked backwards for awhile from 2019–2021 after I got caught #Every time I happened to glance at a clock; there was either a 4 or a 20 or a 24 on the display. Always. No exceptions. #This went on for months. Those numbers were part of a spell I wrote and recited over and over again; I won’t say the words #because I’m not sure if it’s so much a spell as it is a curse — it is a self-deprecating spell #I only started seeing this number pattern AFTER I had been caught as an apostate; not before #before I’d look at the clock and it would say 5:33 or 9:15 or 12:45; after it was 4:04 or 2:24 or 12:20 ON THE DOT #Call me crazy but if every time you looked at a clock for MONTHS it always read a specific set of numbers you’d go a little nutty too #THEN in 2021 I read 1984 and it described my life up until that point PERFECTLY (WITH the number 4 plastered all over it) #Something happened back then and it’s still fucking happening because I was caught at the end of 2019 #Just a little over four years away from the year 2024 and I was driven to set my exit date at 4/24/2024 before reading 1984 #1984 is set in April 4 1984; April 4 is 20 days away from 4/24… SEE WHAT I MEAN?! I’m a raving lunatic but I’m right