#And now this book… hm

[theres-whump-in-that-nebula]

Uh-oh. This is bad

#For some reason I always end up predicting my life events through the fiction I write or read with scary accuracy #especially if everything I’m writing/consuming “feels right” and like I’m being pulled into it #I was just pulled into The Metamorphosis and woke up in the middle of the night to finish reading it #I think I know who that book applies to #And now this book… hm #Don’t like that #unreality #magical thinking #tagging as that just in case but it’s happened before multiple times #They’re not necessarily actual premonitions; they’re me subconsciously piecing together a puzzle of clues #that all lead to me figuring out the most likely series of events to follow #Maybe I’ve heard in-depth information about these books before; but only remember it in the back of my mind #so that the front of my mind cannot recall; and have only been guided by what I’ve heard whispered back there #a subconscious switch gets thrown at the critical point and I’m drawn to it #I knew what happened and what was going to happen in 2018 back in 2017 from my sketchbooks and story outlines #I read Crime and Punishment and like clockwork events very similar to what had happened in the book started happening to me #It worked backwards for awhile from 2019–2021 after I got caught #Every time I happened to glance at a clock; there was either a 4 or a 20 or a 24 on the display. Always. No exceptions. #This went on for months. Those numbers were part of a spell I wrote and recited over and over again; I won’t say the words #because I’m not sure if it’s so much a spell as it is a curse — it is a self-deprecating spell #I only started seeing this number pattern AFTER I had been caught as an apostate; not before #before I’d look at the clock and it would say 5:33 or 9:15 or 12:45; after it was 4:04 or 2:24 or 12:20 ON THE DOT #Call me crazy but if every time you looked at a clock for MONTHS it always read a specific set of numbers you’d go a little nutty too #THEN in 2021 I read 1984 and it described my life up until that point PERFECTLY (WITH the number 4 plastered all over it) #Something happened back then and it’s still fucking happening because I was caught at the end of 2019 #Just a little over four years away from the year 2024 and I was driven to set my exit date at 4/24/2024 before reading 1984 #1984 is set in April 4 1984; April 4 is 20 days away from 4/24… SEE WHAT I MEAN?! I’m a raving lunatic but I’m right

[ryllen]

eepy 🐲

ryumimi & half dragon sebek AU

#twisted wonderland #twst #sebek zigvolt #twst yuu #twst mc #malleus draconia #dragon is ryu in japanese #this turns into au #fanart #instead of being too weak he is now afraid of being too powerful and destructive #malleus is so plain without the horns #somehow i imagine s ilver is still a human #now he is called a monster for being too powerful instead of being pointed at for being too weak #hm to imagine maybe his mother fled not long after his birth bcs it would be too dangerous for her to stay at the human village #and so no one really teaches him how to control his power #maybe he only reads from books his grandfather somehow have about dragons

[aroaceleovaldez]

Nico and Percy's dynamic through the series is eternally funny to me, because it's just. like.

Percy's having a constant mental struggle between his fatal flaw of loyalty with a promise he made to Bianca to protect Nico, versus his Big 3 kid desire to maim other Big 3 kids / Poseidon descendant urge to totally maim Nico specifically. He hates Nico so so much. He thinks Nico's annoying and weird at best, and creepy/sketchy when he's older. The only positive thoughts Percy has towards Nico are "He's Bianca's brother and Bianca was my friend and I owe her/He's Hazel's brother and Hazel is my friend and would kill me if I was mean to him," "He's a powerful asset and useful ally (if questionable)," and "He's kinda pathetic and I feel maybe a little bad about it." Percy has multiple occasions throughout the series where he strongly considers - and on one occasionally actually goes through with - throttling Nico.

Meanwhile, Nico is following around Percy like a lost puppy. He explicitly can never bring himself to even dislike anything about Percy no matter how hard he tries. He has a whole bit in BoO where he's mentally going "UGH he's so stupid BUT IT'S ENDEARING HOW DARE HE." He's totally smitten. He's making deals with his dad for Percy. He's making convoluted plans to help Percy stand a chance against Kronos. During the entirety of BoTL it's like he's playing tsundere - "I'm helping NOT PERCY SPECIFICALLY with this quest! Me helping Percy would be SILLY because I DEFINITELY HATE HIM." Then he proceeds to show up to Percy's birthday party to basically ask him on a weird date and spend the entire next book scrambling around trying to help him or protect him or impress him. And Percy could not give less of a shit.

Just. That dynamic is so funny to me. Percy is the founder of the Nico Protection Club in that he's the one they're all protecting Nico from and meanwhile Nico is throwing himself at Percy to the point where the literal god of gay love calls him out on it.

#pjo #percy jackson #nico di angelo #Percy shows up at CJ and squints at Nico like ''hm. why do i feel like i hate you? like i just wanna punch you in the face?'' #and Nico just immediately goes ''huh no idea anyways i have to go-'' and jumps into Tartarus #but not before he gives Hazel essentially a detailed explanation of ''this is Percy i cant say much but please dont let him die <3'' #and Nico's whole Tartarus trip was basically a whole ''im doing this so no one else has to'' #only for Percy and Annabeth to fall in like one book later and Nico proceeds to spend the next book internally screaming about it #and then Cupid calls him out on it and the next book #Nico's just like ''at this point im hoping i keel over within the next week just so i can force this dumb crush to chill the fuck out'' #Nico staring pointedly at Will: ''For my own sake i need to form another crush RIGHT NOW so i can finally get over Percy.'' #''this has been so bad for my health'' #Nico's crush on Percy is just too funny to me. horrible pick my guy. terrible job. love that for you. he could not be less interested. #Percy LITERALLY TRIES TO KILL NICO and ditch him in the underworld and Nico is somehow STILL like ''but i love him'' #Percy basically chokes him. beats up his dad. tells him ''go get smited by your dad for me.'' and ditches him. #and Nico's opinions/crush on him DO NOT CHANGE #though also Nico's reaction to Percy beating up his dad + skeletons is SO funny. his jaw is on the floor. he's flustered about it. #he just witnessed Percy be incredibly hot and proceeded to go ''yea i'll do anything for this man. collect reinforcements of 3 gods? sure'' #nico you absolute DISASTER with HORRIBLE TASTE. you can do better. raise your standards. #which tbh is funnier when you factor in sun and the star. Nico just wont stop crushing on guys who dislike him and everything he stands for

[watchingwisteria]

im so sorry i get it now i really do, the gay angels have me shaking screaming crying at all hours of the day and night, they mean everything to me i am literally thinking about them all the time and what it would mean to love someone steadily and silently through eternity, what it would mean to love across the lines of a divine war of supposed good and evil, what it would mean to carve out a space for oneself and ones lover in no man’s land, in the grey and moral ambiguity when you were created to be black and white without blemish. god i love them so much i just

#update from the tags : posted this after watching s1 knowing the end of s2 #and i was like hm hope im not too offbase #but imagine my surprise when they literally said ‘i love this space we carved for ourselves’ #I WAS SICK #ineffable husbands #<< u dont get it. i used to see that and it meant nothing to me. now its like a knife inside me #good omens #aziracrow #crowley #aziraphale #ur girl watches good omens #experiencing full brain rot. like every song is about them somehow #im imaginging edits in my head bc i do nawt have time to make them for real #i just bought the book and i am about to devour it #lol another update #the drama in this post is so HDISJSISB but i was FEELING IT #i was GOING THROUGH IT… #and when i think abt them for too long i still am

[mynephewmarriedajaguar]

was rewatching them play let’s get talking (because it’s my comfort video) and come ON courtney! she was slipping!

“no, we’re-” *motions at shayne* girl who are you trying to fool lmao

#oh were you about to say you guys haven’t watched it yet? hm? #it’s hilarious watching back and catching stuff like this NOW #also adorable because she was trying! you go girl! #can they please play this game again i love hearing little stories about everyone’s lives #especially amanda #she could write a book at this point #smosh #shayne topp #courtney miller #angela giarratana #ian hecox #shourtney #smosh games

[alaraxia]

I don’t romance him but Herald is making me less evil by proxy

#fallen hero retribution #see I brutally beat this boy at the end of book 1 #and now I’m here in book 2 like well fuck he’s just a delightful fella #like Vesper went full vicious after destroying the museum she went out of the way to hurt him more #and now I’m just like hm well shit now I feel bad #damn you for giving me a conscious again herald #fhr #sidestep #fhr herald #fallen hero #he’s just a lil guy #fallen hero sidestep #OC vesper

[see-arcane]

I saw a post and the notes saying "mature" women want Dracula, only girls would want Jonathan, some arguing it's because wanting Dracula is being confident in your sexuality while wanting Jonathan is wanting to be a submissive wife. Like, I'm sorry to tell y'all this but the movie lied to you.

Dracula. Dracula is the liberating love interest.

Dracula who keeps his conscripted girlfriends locked in a cellar and tosses them a baby to eat now and then.

Dracula who sought out a girl barely out of her teens, abused her medical condition to puppeteer her, drank her to undeath, then promptly abandoned her for the next pretty young thing in Piccadilly once he got what he wanted.

Dracula who assaulted the main heroine in her bed, next to her husband who he also went out of his way to psychologically torture for two months, forced himself on her in as close to a metaphorical rape as gothic horror can get, knowing she'd be doomed to either die or become his next undead side piece.

Dracula who wouldn't even risk fighting the husband who was willing to kill, die, and undie for his wife's sake, but ran away to avoid anything resembling a scuffle that would involve effort on his part, off to hide in his castle.

That Dracula.

...

Simply redolent with empowerment in here, amirite ladies??

#another plus to the whole Dracula Daily dealie #more people picking up on exactly how much pop culture osmosis bullshit they've been fed by Coppola's flick and all the works based off it #I sincerely hope the kind of people who write that nonsense about Liberating Dracula VS Normie Blah Jonathan #have finally picked up the book #or at least caught wind of all the spill-over writing from people doing the Dracula Daily thing #and can now go back and realize...hm. Might need to revise some misconceptions there maybe perhaps #dracula #jonathan harker #dracula daily #francis ford coppola

[karamazovanon]

DUNYA <3 i've been too busy to do art so here are some sketches of me trying to figure out a dunya design that have been sitting in my drafts for like a week ヽ( ´ー｀)ノ

#avdotya romanovna raskolnikova #dunya romanovna raskolnikova #dunechka #im in love with her a little sorry #i never post my character design sheets/sketches/etc bc i feel like these are so boring but i want to post so #she deserved so much more screentime i LOVE a woman who paces and would die for her shithead brother and also has a gun #dunya please just one chance. just one im on my hands on knees #i also found it interesting that she and grushenka are both described as having a “protruding” lower lip & chin #like the same verbiage is used and oh no now im thinking about grushenkas abusive relationship for financial reasons wrt dunyas situation. #hm. #im sure that wont haunt my brain for the next 5 business days #anonart #dunya #crime and punishment #<- my ass was so lost in the loving dunya sauce that i forgot to tag the damn book

[quatregats]

Went back and reread some of Master and Commander again and goddamn is that book rich with detail...truly I did not know how to appreciate it on the first (or second) read-through...

#19-year-old me was very silly but also there's just too much there for one reading #i'm now resigned to my fate (actually learning how ships and sailing work) and the previous owner of this book left very neat notes #so i think i'm going to try to follow in their footsteps and disentangle a bit of what's going on #plus go through it all more slowly i read way too fast and then i miss things #but yeah. like that one and i think also post captain and hms surprise are really just bottomless pits of historical detail #trying to write fic for it again and i'm realizing even more what an incredibly talented writer he was. just constantly in awe of mr. pob #perce rambles #The Creative Endeavor and other aubreyad nonsense

[chenswire]

i love winning

fellas is it gay to both get summer alters

chummer swummer sweep baby not the matchy flowers and other things and e2 being fuckin day and night yin yang kino im gonna throw up they really are just The Same

I LOVE SHORTS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

#arknights #after gavial i was so fucking scared of summer alters but hm. well. #(almost) all is forgiven #her design is like a 9.5/10 it's just nitpicks at this point #anyway i told a whole bunch of friends that if she got an alter i would make a book so i guess i have no choice now

[dootznbootz]

I think some folks MAY have gotten the wrong idea about how I feel about Circe with some of my posts. So, to clear the air...

Homies, I love that fucked up sorceress.

I love how we're never given a reason why she turns people into animals. That's so funny and so awful. And another potion-making magic gal?!?! I love that she's just basically vibing on an island doing whatever she wants. I even love the fact that she scares Odysseus shitless! She's morally gray and that's why she's FUN.

I just sincerely hate when people try to girlboss her or have her be a victim of SA when she never was Looking at you, Miller. Especially when she was actually the one who coerced Odysseus in exchange for his men being transformed back into humans. And even then, while he was clearly afraid of her, (it's in the language of the Odyssey) she likely meant him no harm after a certain point. He just didn't know that.

Why does she need a reason to do awful things? Why can't she just be a goddess who does whatever she wants? That's the reason why I love her!!! She's fucked up!!! :D

I hate what the Telegony did to her as well! >:( You're telling me, this sorceress goddess, who makes potions (!!!) wouldn't have magic contraceptives??? Would WANT CHILDREN?!?! WITH THE PATHETIC WIFEMAN?! No. Fuck no. Eugammon of Cyrene, I have beef with you 🤬

Anyways!!! Understand all the "#anti circe" I have is simply Anti "Girlboss Circe" or the book. I genuinely think she's neat af as her morally gray, fucked up sorceress self and just get frustrated with...everything :'D

#I have these same feelings with Medea and Medusa and so many others. Penelope too. Let them do something fucked up just to be fucked up #I'm a “god forbid women do anything” in the sense of 'she did a fucked up thing. That's why she's fascinating. Don't take her awfulness #away from her!!! please! I wanna study her under a microscope!'😭 #PLEASE #...I actually kind of don't like the idea of her actually caring about her nymphs :P maybe she “protects them” but like... #I see her as a “Why are all of you dancing? Oh. it's a birthday? hm okay. Just make sure your duties are done.” while not caring #whose birthday it is. She's not really shown to be close to them during the Odyssey and idk just seems in character for her to not give af #save me morally gray circe #<-making that a tag now because...yeah. She absolutely wouldn't save me though. #Mad rambles #shot by odysseus #anti madeline miller #anti circe #<-THE BOOK! I HATE THE BOOK! LET HER BE AWFUL YOU COWARDS #Why do women need to be SA'ed to be strong Miller?! >:( #...Ima say it. The pathetic wifeman is more relatable to me than Hot Snake Monster Lady when it comes to this stuff.😤 #I just sincerely hate the fact that people erase what happened to him you know? It's silly but it means a lot to me. #Also I think she got bored of him immediately and simply let him chill at her place. #She's a goddess. She's got better things to do and she absolutely doesn't love him and he absolutely doesn't want her. #I don't have with Eugammon btw. He's dead and I'm exaggerating but I STILL hate the Telegony >:( #tw sa #kind of??? idk #barely mentioned but yeah #Calypso though?? Yeah. I hate her in practically everything except Pirates of the Caribbean because that's not Odyssey Calypso

[adriles]

im sorry to say, that by ignoring the plague of apollo, you have doomed the danaans to further misery. Farewell my bitch

#apollo #agamemnon #book 1 #update here cause new post and all! thank you to the anon who informed me about a slur in a prior post #i was not familiar with the term and def shouldve checked it out and changed it before turning the dril tweet around to fit everything here #the fact that it is a dril tweet itself though is….hm #anyways! apologies! the post has been edited #all this is reminding me again is that i should be making more posts and just following the format cause. this is not the first time #that ive encountered very offensive tweets #i havent done it in a hot bit though cause im fairly busy with work now. gonna start phasing the tweet based ones out again soon #also. please inform me if anyone at all finds anything on here that i should tag or edit in the future #i really dont want this to be a place of pain of any kind (other than war crimes) #and ive been running this since i was like…14 so there is likely bound to be smth that should be revisited

[trentcrimminallybeautiful]

listen maybe this is just because i've always been a slut for pov outsider fics anyway but i desperately want some on our dork trent crimm. like. the character development??? his softness and dorkification???? i need someone to be like just. what do people think about this. like whether it's a random richmond player, a random reporter trent worked with, someone from trent's personal life, another rando in the sports field who's used to trent crimm, the independent, ruthless reporter, or whoever, just. random people watching trent crimm go from "ah yeah that asshole reporter who specifically has a reputation for being a ruthless cutting bitch" to "openly excitable dork who clearly cares so goddamn much and is visibly softer and has he just secretly always been like this??"

it would probably have to be someone who's close enough to him or richmond now to like, be able to see the change, but i just. am obsessed with this. and that's not even getting into considering the angles of his possible ex-wife/divorce + if non-audience-members can tell he's madly in love with ted or not, because i'm not sure if it's funnier if they're like "trent crimm is a huge dork now and we have no idea why????? i guess this is just the lasso effect fucking bending reality again??" or if they're like "hey fucking WILD that that one journalist specifically known for being a huge asshole apparently fell so ass over teakettle in love with that weird cowboy miracle worker of a gaffer that he divorced his wife, exploded his job, and had a radical personality shift via apparently deciding to be emotionally vulnerable. and all of this after writing a pretty fucked exposé on him?? why does no one talk about this more"

and while all the possibilities mentioned are great in their own ways, it could even be one of the other main characters whos just not generally involved in his storyline like. what does sam think of all this. what is jamie thinking when trent becomes their emotional support journalist dork. what does keeley think.

#rebecca: he fucking got you too huh. #god fucking. nate. brushing aside the extremely serious ramifications this would have #im just picturing nate coming back to or visiting richmond post like #redemption arc for lack of a better term #and just like. uh. hey. hey? hey is that trent crimm? #hm? oh yeah. hes our emotional support dork now. he's writing a book about ted #and nates like. oh. kay? and then just. after a bit of observing. hey. uh. was trent replaced by a pod person? no? alright. cool #you miss a season or two of someones character arc and suddenly they're unrecognizable smh /j #ted lasso spoilers #just in case #trent crimm #tedependent #tedtrent #also i admit i just love the idea of throwing trent at different characters and thinking about how that would go #desperately want to see one on one interactions between trent and dani #just bc i lvoe both of them and also i think it would be amazing #or like. trent and will. i would just like to see it. #but yes its also bc i have trent crimm is my blorbo disease

[gowns]

so like, something that bothered me was: when i was describing my kid and her personality to a group of parents, and how it was similar to my personality, and there was a parent who just kept saying "have you been assessed for autism? it sounds like autism." and i was like, no, ha ha, we don't have autism. and she kept asking me -- gently, not haranguing, with good intentions -- "are you sure? seeking a diagnosis can be very helpful. she could have help in school." and i'm like yeah i know, my mom is an educator who has worked with sped, we don't need it though. and she just kept going like: "but i mean, being sensitive to things, the way you describe it, it sounds like autism." look. i get it. i'm glad there's an expansion of an awareness of autism. i might even be mildly on that spectrum, and my kid might too. but a diagnosis is only helpful as far as its ability to open up connections, accomodations, etc. i have my own little method of doing things that works really swimmingly. and here's the thing: i was really good in school. i crushed tests, worksheets, creative projects, public speaking, group work, independent work, participation, navigating conflicts, school plays. and -- i should note -- it's also not an "overachieving" thing. i was happy being an "As and Bs" student. i firmly regular-achieved.

so sure, i'm an odd duck, i'm sensitive, i'm erratic, but i'm also super social, energized by other people; i have my odd little ways of doing things but they're not set in stone routines. i crave novelty and have issues with impulse moderation. these things + sensory sensitivity and etc etc all fits a pretty firm diagnosis of ADHD. BUT i'm not even married to that diagnosis. like i'm fine just saying, you know what, i am who i am, i operate in this funny little way, but i've figured out how to do things in life, a lot of people love me, i'm very successful and very happy. no further accommodations needed (at the moment). so why hang my hat on my previous diagnoses, or any other diagnosis? literally, like... social services are stretched so thin, please let those services go to someone else. not me, whose biggest "problem" is that i have a special interest that is sometimes a money sink (slow fashion). but that's basically just a hobby. people have hobbies. i'm not in need of therapy for being this way.

i have a blog, ok. other people find my fixations funny and useful!

#some might say this is cope #but also ... if i'm highly social successful happy and capable of regulating myself when i'm under or over stimulated... is there a problem #my kid will announce 'i need alone time now!' and will go to her room to read a book or do worksheets #just like little me :) #anyway i did an online autism test just to mollify that parent #and i showed her the results which said i am fairly sensitive to things but like 100/100 social skills #and she was like oh hm. probably not autistic then #which brings me to my previous post #like... if i was masking in social interactions... there would have to be so many layers of masks #for the amount that i love social interaction and performance and eye contact and etc

[bedlund]

dta dean lookbook (cas’ version)

#okay it’s done i can rest now. tbh i know the cas one is more inspired but dean spends a whole book in hospital scrubs #plus he technically doesn’t have anything in this universe other than the clothes he arrived in. and yes in my mind he still has the rings #hm what else oh yeah the knife in the middle. that’s. yeah. that’s the knife #dta #me.txt #lookbook

[ofekma]

"how can you be an animorphs fan and support Israel?"

I don't know, how CAN I be the fan of a book series talking about kids being forced to grow up too fast due to being a part of a war that has been going on for longer than they're alive, trying to defend their home against an invading force?

Seeing how this situation affects their mental state, world view and relationships with each other? Not being able to fully trust anyone else because they can turn out to secretly wish for your demise?

How can I be the fan of a series that mirrors the way I grew up, of feeling scared and lost and small but knowing that you have to keep going because there's no other way?

Knowing that the other side has people who are like you, who never really wanted to hurt anyone but are being forced to fight too, who were brainwashed from birth to not see people like you as people?

Knowing that innocents die in war, that cruel, messed up, unjust things happen in wars but not seeing another way forward?

Wanting to save your loved ones who are now being kept hostages?

YEAH I HAVE NO IDEA WHY IN THE WORLD WOULD I, AN ISRAELI PERSON, BE AN ANIMORPHS FAN?

#animorphs: there's no black and white but sometimes you have to fight to protect the people you love #people on tumblr: ISRAEL BAD PALESTINE GOOD #Hey remember how every time the animorphs kill a hork bajir controller #they kill both an innocent hork bajir hostage and a yeerk that is threatened with starvation by their superiors if they won't fight? #remember how most taxxons only agreed to collaborate with the yeerks because they feel like being puppets is better than constant hunger? #remember how Serrow only wanted to do something good but ended up causing an intergalactic war? #remember how as early as book 6 Jake didn't blink before boiling alive dozens of helpless yeerks? #remember how the Howelrs who exterminated countless species were merely toddlers playing controlled by a higher being? #REMEMBER HOW ANIMORPHS IS A FUCKING COMPLICATED BOOK SERIES AND EVEN OUR HEROES COMMITED ATROCITIES THAT HAUNTED THEM EVERY DAY? #AND HOW WE STILL ROOTED FOR THEM BECAUSE WE KNEW WHY THEY DID THIS AND WHERE THEY'RE COMING FROM? #HOW MOST OF THEIR ATROCITIES WEREN'T JUST KILLING FOR THE SAKE OF KILLING? #Unlike you know #what Hamas is doing #killing for the sake of killing #sacrificing their own people in the process #brainwashing and treathening their population #Remember how the war is actually a chess game between two larger entities that use everyone else as a peon for the war between themselves? #Hm now that surely sounds familiar #Imagine thinking that a fictional war in a book series for kids is more complicated and morally grey than one in real life #And that you can know everything about it from Twitter and tik tock #Couldn't be me lol