#Matt Markman Comedian
Text
We Killed Jason Todd
By Matt Markman
In 1988 my friends and I killed a kid.
He was just a boy really. We had help it wasn’t just me and my pals. there were adults involved, lots of them. I mean we were young we were just thirteen and really couldn’t comprehend the ramification of our actions, the adults knew what they were doing. I’m painting it to sound way more sinister than it was, and in today’s society, wouldn’t trend on Twitter but maybe in the ’80s, it was probably considered quite ominous.
To set your mind at ease, it was Jason Todd. You know, Batman's sidekick, The Boy Wonder, Robin—well, the second Robin anyways. And I helped kill him.
I was big into comic books but my favorite was, The Dark Knight, The Caped Crusader, The Batman… He donned the best costume, he had all the money and was the most intelligent of all the superheroes. That last trait right there, the fact that he was considered a superhero and he had no actual super powers made him cooler than the other side of the pillow. You know how The Big Bang Theory has convinced the world it’s an Emmy-winning sitcom worth watching? I think it’s the fact that Batman was someone any one of us could actually be. Sure we needed to start with a base coat of genius followed by a splash of handsome billionaire playboy then train overseas in martial arts for several years, but if you had those things you, too, could be a vigilante. You ask me today and I'd stand by the fact that Batman would beat Superman in a fight, say ten out of ten times. This is not debatable because super beings from another planet are not real.
My favorite thing about Batman, though, is his ability to balance out good and evil. He spawned one of the greatest comic book villains and fictional characters ever created, The Joker. They have tried and tried again but in my opinion never got close to the Clown Prince of Crime—maybe Negan from The Walking Dead, he's pretty ruthless. The Joker is what would happen if a stand-up comedian became a criminal mastermind, so basically the plot of the 2019 film Joker.
My love for Joker made sense because growing up I was always more into the bad guys than the good guys. Watching and playing with G.I.Joe, I was always on the side of Cobra Commander, the twins Tomax and Xamot, and Zartan because they were always more glamorous and eye-catching than the boring ass Joes. Just once, I’d like that “knowing is half the battle” part at the end of the cartoon to have been Storm Shadow giving us kids a tip on how to fuck up Shipwreck and his stupid Parrot. Megatron, Skeletor, Shredder, Mumm-ra…
The list goes on, but the antagonists always resonated with me. they had a much better and more intriguing agenda than the good guys did. I know that wasn't the purpose, we were supposed to cheer on the good guys, like the idea of saving the world and all, but the mayhem… It’s like Alfred Pennyworth said, “Some men just want to watch the world burn.” It’s odd because the bad guys in my life were real, the bullies and I didn't like them at all. They tormented me daily unprovoked because I was short and had big ears. Perhaps my love for the dark side stemmed for my desire to be on that side because in real life there was no Superman swooping in to rescue me from the clutches of Lex Luthor.
There were two sides, and good had a lack of champions looking out for the weaker, smaller good guys. The bad guys in my neighborhood, well, they were real and never really foiled and more importantly, they always got the girl in the end. Fuck the good guys!
My admiration for evildoers achieving their agenda was tested in 1988, Batman was running a four-part series called A Death in the Family. It was your typical Batman arc. Somehow, The Joker was going to get the upper hand on The World’s Greatest Detective only to be bested in the end by Batman. But this time, the third comic decided to do something nobody had never seen in the industry. The writers were going to give the fans the opportunity to decide where they were going to go with the story, only it was an option between two different roads, one quite unconventional. Apparently a few years earlier, one of the writers, Dennis O'Neil, had seen a sketch they did on SNL where Eddie Murphy held up a Lobster—Larry the Lobster—and was asking viewers to decide whether Larry was boiled and eaten or was to be set free. The choices were offered in the form of two phone numbers both costing fifty cents a call. One number was a vote for him to be freed and the other number was a vote for Larry to be murdered, smothered in butter, and devoured by Axel Foley. Ultimately, after nearly 500,000 calls, the people voted for Larry the lovable lobster to be pardoned with a 12,000 call margin. The popularity of this bit intrigued O'Neil and A few years later he decided to implement it in his Death in The Family storyline.
In the third book, The Joker had taken Batman's sidekick, the Boy Wonder, hostage. He’d beaten him bloody with a crowbar leaving a cliffhanger to be wrapped up in the fourth book. The last page of the comic was full page and at the top read in true ’80s Do the Right Thing fashion: “Robin will die because The Joker wants revenge, but you can prevent it with a telephone call!” They even phrased it to steer you down the hero’s path, like you can literally be Batman with one phone call. Underneath the imploring verbiage were two numbers, dial one number; The Joker fails and Robin lives, Batman would once somehow saves the day. However, call this other number and The Joker succeeds and Robin dies. Gruesomely.
Wow! They were going to let the fans decide the fate of Robin, really this was one of my earliest introductions to a reality voting competition type show. In my opinion, it was a bad idea. Robin was always the worst. Go back and read through an adventure or two involving Jason Todd and tell me he wasn't always whiney and bellyaching. He was never going to be iconic or cool like Bruce Wayne or even his predecessor Dick Grayson—the first Robin. See, Dick got pissed off, decided he was tired of being in Batman's shadow, ditched the Robin costume, threw on a black blue and gold costume, moved to another city and became Nightwing. Dick was a go getter, ambitious. Grayson’s Robin was a winner, Todd's Robin was an irritating little bitch; he was not an innocent lobster.
I went to my mother and asked if I could make a call that was going to cost just fifty cents and I would pay her back or she could just take it out of my allowance. She wanted to know what it was for and mostly wanted to confirm it wasn't for an adult sex line, which costs more than fifty cents a minute, but that’s a different story. It was nothing as tawdry as phontercourse, I just wanted to help murder an annoying teenage sidekick. My mother response was “Oh, yeah, that’s fine.”
I think after it was exposed that it wasn't phone sex anything else I said went in one ear and out the other, surely she didn't think I was actually voting for a plucky comic book sidepiece to be murdered by The Joker. So that’s what I did. I cast my vote along with a majority of DC comic book fans that shared my detest for the boy wonder. Ten thousand votes were recorded with a narrow margin going to Robin dying. I think the writers never suspected that fans would go that route.
O’Neal himself voted for Robin’s stay of execution. A man of his word, Batman issue #429 was released and Robin was killed by The Joker in an explosion and we were to blame for it. Sad to say but you give a bunch of comic book nerds the power I think it would go bad every time. That day we were all proud to be The Joker's henchmen. I felt like a soldier at the end of Star Wars cheering madly while The Joker received his metal shouting, “I helped that happen!”
So many shows these days embrace our fascination with the anti-hero with the success of The Sopranos, The Shield, Breaking Bad, hell Narcos had me rooting for Pablo Escobar—Pablo fucking Escobar. I wouldn't say I was a bad person growing up. Quite the contrary, I was a shy nerd with no power to do anything but pick my books up after they were smacked to the ground. What I’m saying is don't give me the power to make important life or death decisions with your franchise because myself and the other dorks will have the bodies of Orko, Snarf, and Jimmy Olson lying in a shallow grave, just tell me what number to dial… or text.
Matt started performing standup comedy in 2004 in Las Vegas and is now a regular at every major comedy club on the Las Vegas strip. He released his first comedy album in 2016 titled Uncut available on iTunes. More about Matt and his upcoming appearances can be found on MattMarkman.com.
#Matt Markman#Matt Markman Comedian#Matt Markman Comedian Las Vegas#Las Vegas Comedians#G.I. Joe#Skeletor#Joker#Batman#Joker kills Robin#Jason Todd
38 notes
·
View notes
Text
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years
A beloved Las Vegas dive bar, Boomers Bar, has announced it will close.
Boomers Bar is set to close Dec. 29, 2017.
The bar billed itself as being “located smack dab in the middle of town.” The venue is located at 3200 Sirius Ave., or smack dab in the middle of an industrial neighborhood where you probably shouldn’t stroll alone at night.
The end is near for Boomers.
Boomers, sometimes referred to with an apostrophe (Boomer’s), has hosted myriad quirky events over the years. Our visits have all involved seeing comedy open mic nights, some of it surprisingly good.
A comedian friend of ours, Matt Markman, is a Boomers alum and frequently opens for Strip headliner Anthony Cools, as well as performing at innumerable comedy clubs in Vegas and elsewhere.
Other recent events have included swing music and burlesque. Which, we might add, some enterprising Las Vegas business should try and combine sometime.
The venue also boasted “We have two pool tables, jukebox with Internet access and free Wi-Fi.” We should have looked for that jukebox with Internet access and Wi-Fi. Those are so rare these days.
Boomers announced it would close in a Facebook post you probably don’t have time to find, so we’ll just show it to you.
Caveat on the furniture, it’s all really sticky.
We kid about Boomers, but it had a loyal following, and we wish the staff all the best in their future endeavors.
Boomers may never have made any best-of lists, but whenever a bar closes in Las Vegas, a burlesque dancer loses her tassels. Or something.
The post Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years appeared first on Vital Vegas Blog.
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years published first on http://ift.tt/2lsgkJd
0 notes
Text
Rise To Offend – RTO 236 Forever Young
Rise To Offend – RTO 236 Forever Young
Comedian and friend of the show, Matt Markman stopped by to hang with Gooch, Bobby, and Pete to discuss Pete Vs The wind, Markman’s epic prank call, Bobby tells baseball mom to pound sound, Cher Vs The Hard Rock Casino, and other nonsense that will tantalize your ear drums on this week’s RTO. http://media.blubrry.com/risetooffend/icode.se/pod/RiseToOffend/RTO%20236%20Forever%20Young.mp3
View On WordPress
0 notes
Text
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years
A beloved Las Vegas dive bar, Boomers Bar, has announced it will close.
Boomers Bar is set to close Dec. 29, 2017.
The bar billed itself as being “located smack dab in the middle of town.” The venue is located at 3200 Sirius Ave., or smack dab in the middle of an industrial neighborhood where you probably shouldn’t stroll alone at night.
The end is near for Boomers.
Boomers, sometimes referred to with an apostrophe (Boomer’s), has hosted myriad quirky events over the years. Our visits have all involved seeing comedy open mic nights, some of it surprisingly good.
A comedian friend of ours, Matt Markman, is a Boomers alum and frequently opens for Strip headliner Anthony Cools, as well as performing at innumerable comedy clubs in Vegas and elsewhere.
Other recent events have included swing music and burlesque. Which, we might add, some enterprising Las Vegas business should try and combine sometime.
The venue also boasted “We have two pool tables, jukebox with Internet access and free Wi-Fi.” We should have looked for that jukebox with Internet access and Wi-Fi. Those are so rare these days.
Boomers announced it would close in a Facebook post you probably don’t have time to find, so we’ll just show it to you.
Caveat on the furniture, it’s all really sticky.
We kid about Boomers, but it had a loyal following, and we wish the staff all the best in their future endeavors.
Boomers may never have made any best-of lists, but whenever a bar closes in Las Vegas, a burlesque dancer loses her tassels. Or something.
The post Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years appeared first on Vital Vegas Blog.
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years published first on http://ift.tt/2lsgkJd
0 notes
Text
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years
A beloved Las Vegas dive bar, Boomers Bar, has announced it will close.
Boomers Bar is set to close Dec. 29, 2017.
The bar billed itself as being “located smack dab in the middle of town.” The venue is located at 3200 Sirius Ave., or smack dab in the middle of an industrial neighborhood where you probably shouldn’t stroll alone at night.
The end is near for Boomers.
Boomers, sometimes referred to with an apostrophe (Boomer’s), has hosted myriad quirky events over the years. Our visits have all involved seeing comedy open mic nights, some of it surprisingly good.
A comedian friend of ours, Matt Markman, is a Boomers alum and frequently opens for Strip headliner Anthony Cools, as well as performing at innumerable comedy clubs in Vegas and elsewhere.
Other recent events have included swing music and burlesque. Which, we might add, some enterprising Las Vegas business should try and combine sometime.
The venue also boasted “We have two pool tables, jukebox with Internet access and free Wi-Fi.” We should have looked for that jukebox with Internet access and Wi-Fi. Those are so rare these days.
Boomers announced it would close in a Facebook post you probably don’t have time to find, so we’ll just show it to you.
Caveat on the furniture, it’s all really sticky.
We kid about Boomers, but it had a loyal following, and we wish the staff all the best in their future endeavors.
Boomers may never have made any best-of lists, but whenever a bar closes in Las Vegas, a burlesque dancer loses her tassels. Or something.
The post Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years appeared first on Vital Vegas Blog.
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years published first on http://ift.tt/2lsgkJd
0 notes
Text
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years
A beloved Las Vegas dive bar, Boomers Bar, has announced it will close.
Boomers Bar is set to close Dec. 29, 2017.
The bar billed itself as being “located smack dab in the middle of town.” The venue is located at 3200 Sirius Ave., or smack dab in the middle of an industrial neighborhood where you probably shouldn’t stroll alone at night.
The end is near for Boomers.
Boomers, sometimes referred to with an apostrophe (Boomer’s), has hosted myriad quirky events over the years. Our visits have all involved seeing comedy open mic nights, some of it surprisingly good.
A comedian friend of ours, Matt Markman, is a Boomers alum and frequently opens for Strip headliner Anthony Cools, as well as performing at innumerable comedy clubs in Vegas and elsewhere.
Other recent events have included swing music and burlesque. Which, we might add, some enterprising Las Vegas business should try and combine sometime.
The venue also boasted “We have two pool tables, jukebox with Internet access and free Wi-Fi.” We should have looked for that jukebox with Internet access and Wi-Fi. Those are so rare these days.
Boomers announced it would close in a Facebook post you probably don’t have time to find, so we’ll just show it to you.
Caveat on the furniture, it’s all really sticky.
We kid about Boomers, but it had a loyal following, and we wish the staff all the best in their future endeavors.
Boomers may never have made any best-of lists, but whenever a bar closes in Las Vegas, a burlesque dancer loses her tassels. Or something.
The post Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years appeared first on Vital Vegas Blog.
Boomers Bar Set to Close After 16 Years published first on http://ift.tt/2lsgkJd
0 notes
Last Seen Blogs
