#Maximum Efficiency: Rudyard Funn
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@walkingshcdow from here!
Jane’s brow scrunched, a mix of confusion and care that she hoped Rudyard could read.
“If I wanted a sex crazed maniac, I would be dating one.” Jane began, her face softening as she looked at him. Did he really think she wanted something like that? Some insatiable monster always begging for her attention? No; she was much happier to have Rudyard’s quiet company and energetic voice. Even if the nosy, over-sexed islanders would disagree. “I don’t want a ‘lascivious fiend’ any more than I want to be on the moon. What I like is you.”
At least most nights. Silence seeped in between them as Jane sat up a bit straighter, turning a new thought over in her mind. It did seem that she was usually the one initiating things, or telling him it was alright not to want them. Had she ever thought to ask before?
“I do, wonder, sometimes.” She said, soft and careful in the darkness. “If you do these kinds of things just to, humor me, in some way.” Jane didn’t hold anything against Rudyard for his preferences nor for indulging her --if that was what he was doing. She was still left with questions. Did he need her permission to, act? To refuse? Or was it simpler than all that?
“If you want me to ask, I will.” Jane shuffled closer, until she could feel the warmth of his body against hers. “What I want, Rudyard, is to kiss you some more. May I?”
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📝📝📝 Jane and Rudyard
Headcanons for Sale!
1: Jane has been spending her free time on research appointments practicing close up magic to show Rudyard when she gets back to Piffling. She hope she’s as impressed with her work as she is with his.
2: As Rudyard becomes more familiar with smiling, the other residents of PIffling are slightly less unnerved by it. Jane still thinks it’s a charming and lovely smile, so she does her best to make him smile or laugh when they’re together.
3: Jane is always on the lookout for things Madeline might like on her travels. Minatures, doll clothes, foreign sweets, other familiars that she might like to befriend. Madeline may one day find herself living in a miniature townhouse.
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@walkingshcdow continued from here!
“So I keep hearing,” Rudyard muttered darkly, lighting yet another candle in his attic sanctuary. Now that he’d cleaned out most of the attic - an unsavory task Antigone saddled him with when she got fed up with finding his “junk” there - it made for an excellent place to practice witchcraft, unbothered. It also made for a strange and interesting place to watch the storm roll in from the sea. The window, badly in need of dusting, usually filtered sunlight into the room. Tonight, it gave Rudyard a clear view of the gathering darkness. It had been a long week, stressful beyond imagination, as he tried to brew a truth serum to slip to Chapman. As Rudyard worked furiously, Antigone accused him of neglecting his work at Funn Funerals, he lost several jobs to Eric Chapman, and when he checked the bank balance, he’d been forced to get creative with this week’s grocery shopping. To top it all off, the evidence Rudyard and Jane - mostly Jane - had gathered about Chapman indicated that he was as human as Rudyard, which was to say, he may have passed for human in ignorant society, but anyone with half a brain cell would be able to see that the man was magical - a wizard or something along those lines. He’d duped the entire village into loving him. Despicable. Rudyard wished he could just show up and have his magic exude such an aura of lovability that people didn’t chase him out of the village with pitchforks.
He huffed a sigh and accidentally blew out the candle. Fumbling for a match, he tried again. He wasn’t going to plunge them in darkness during the storm. The absolute last thing he needed during this thunderstorm was for his father to pop up and remind him that he was a disappointing funeral director, witch, and son. Especially in front of Jane. Rudyard imagined he wouldn’t look particularly good arguing with a ghost, especially his long-deceased father who never approved of anything Rudyard did.
“Help me get these lit,” he said. “I’m not spending this storm in total darkness. Not again. We’re not letting the ghosts get the better of us…”
“You have ghosts?” Jane asked as she reached for a match herself. She almost wished he would leave the house dark. Antigone would like it, and so would these supposed ghosts. She could easily imagine many ghosts spending their time in the cozy funeral home. And, hadn’t Rudyard said some time ago that he couldn’t see ghosts? A few more thoughts floated through her mind, but Jane only voiced one at first. “Why would they be upset with you?”
Thunder rattled through the house again, making her candle’s flame shiver. Jane’s mind continued to wander. His powers were related to weather, so perhaps, weather related to his powers in the same way. If anyone had the bad luck to be both scared of and empowered by storms, it would be Rudyard. Jane suddenly wished she had bought Rudyard more than a hoodie for his birthday.
“Next time,” She said softly, “Remind me to bring over another blanket.” Or perhaps she would convince him to spend the next storm with her, where she could show him some of the less terrifying things about storms.
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✿ -Rudyard
A Basket of Kisses
16: rain kiss
“Rudyard Funn you absolute marvel!” Jane’s voice creaked with excitement and pure wonder. “Look! You did that!” Elation made it easier than normal to pop up on her tiptoes and kiss him soundly, if chastely. It was all adrenaline and excitement
They’d been fiddling with his powers so long, trying to find his limits, with less success than either of them had hoped. There were days where even Jane wondered what Rudyard’s powers could even be. The cool drops on her skin were irrefutible proof of what he had accomplished. Progress.
“I should treat you to something.” Jane mused, taking his hand. “ Anything! Or at least get you out of this rain. What would you like Rudyard?”
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@inthegroundontime From Here!
If there was anything Jane had learned about Pifflingl Vale, it was that the village was full of surprises. It had surprised her with it’s weather, it’s people, and now with it’s celebrations. Jane certainly hadn’t expected such a large and elaborate party. Luckily her tried and true Explorer costume was always ready for a party. Jane had gotten a few questions, and a enough compliments to boost her confidence. Aparently not all Piffling residents were not so lucky.
“They are a little insensative.” Jane grimaced. She could certainly understand why a vampire would be offended by the whole get up. No one liked to be reduced to the stereotypes of last century. But she doubted Rudyard had even thought about that when he’d put them on, especially since there were no vampires on the island. She wasn’t overly worried about making sure Rudyard was politically correct. It was the second half of his explanation was what worried her now.
“How long have you had those in?” Jane asked, her hands already reaching for his face. “Aren’t you supposed to take them off after 15 minutes?” Concern colored her words as she turned his chin one way and then another. She’d tried fangs similar to these in her youth. To even try and remove them, she’d have to push from behind them. Jane’s grimace returned. “I’m going to have to touch your teeth. Is that okay?”
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kisses - Rudyard
A Kiss on the Hand06. a goodbye kiss
“It won’t be forever.” She assured him. “It’s just a work trip. I’ll be back before you know it Rudyard.” It wasn’t quite as good as a guarantee, but it was the best that she had for now. They’d known for months that she was going to have to leave the island for work. Known for weeks what country, what park, and who with. But Rudyard still looked nervous about her trip to the wilds of Canada, and Jane still felt the need to comfort him.
Her hands settled on his shoulders, hoping to keep him a little grounded. She wished --not for the first time-- that she could take him with her, or that she could stay. She wished they had the time to explore this, whatever it was that they had been building. But the ferry horn honked, and Jane’s heart clenched.
Before she could think too hard, Jane pulled his lips down to meet her own, impatient ferry be damned. She wanted to leave him with a kiss good enough that he’d still be thinking about it when she called from her hotel, and when she sent him a postcard from the national park, and that she would eclipse when she came home to kiss him again.
Another blast from the ferry finally pulled them apart, and Jane fought the urge to lick her lips. She smiled instea. “I’ll call you when I get to the mainland, alright?”
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Kiss + Fingers/back of the hand - Rudyard
I Swear I Could Fly
Jane’s tastes had always flirted with the old fashioned. She took genuinie pride in her mending skill, her cooking prowess, and her ability to function without WiFi or even electricity. But she had never thought that her heart would share the same affinities as her head.
Rudyard took her hand in his with confidence, a move that had Jane’s heartbeat accelerating already. She could feel her blush rising as he raised her hand to his lips. It was gentle, and warm, and little more than a peck. She’d felt his kiss in other places already. Places that were far more scandelous, yet far less meaningful. Her eyes burned into his, searching the depths of his for answers neither of them had, wondering when this man had snuck into her heart.
Her hand tightened around his before he could think to pull it away, and she felt a waft of cool breeze pass over them both. Cool enough that she thought of tucking herself into Rudyard’s side and keeping warm. She wanted to have him close To feel his hand in hers for a few moments longer. “Would you, walk me home?”
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@inthegroundontime From Here!
“It looked alright in the pictures.”asked by professor-of-predators
“Yes, well, pictures hardly convey how dense the Piffling Wood is!” Rudyard huffed, sitting down heavily on a log. It creaked under his slight weight. “As it is, we’ll simply have to wait until Antigone or Georgie notices we’ve disappeared and hope that one or both of them come to our rescue. In the meantime, we should do something to pass the time. How about “I Spy”? I spy something that starts with a “T”. It’s tall and leafy. Go on, have a guess.”
This was not the first time Rudyard had been lost in the Piffling Wood. However, it was the first time he’d been lost with Jane and he would have no way of knowing just how incredibly lucky he really was…
“Wait?” Jane asked, almost incredulous. Like hell she would wait. She’d spent a week in the Russian wilderness. Granted she’d had some professional help then, but Jane knew enough now to get out of even the densest woods on her own. Jane stood herself up and looked around, already groping for her flashlight. If they were going to wait by God they would wait in comfort.
“Trees?” Jane asked, only partly exasperated by his quick surrender. Another part was confusion. The flashlight showed a dense woods, sure, but not so dense as to be impenetrable. In fact, they seemed almost normal. She could see trees off in the distance, farther than any trees should be in a chunk of woods a few meters long. “Rudyard,” she mused cautiously. “Do you know if these woods are, cursed?”
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🌶 also Rudyard
send 🌶 to learn what my muse thinks is hot about yours
“It’s, sort of complicated.” Jane felt herself blushing slightly, embarrassed to have to say this to him. “But it’s more than you’d think. I know what people have told you, but I like your smile. It’s a good one; very warm and it makes me want to smile too. You’re stronger than you look as well, which is always a plus. Your funny, and kinder than people imagine, and I love watching you learn. You have this wonderful spark, especially when you discover something new, and I don’t know that I’ll ever get enough of it.”
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💋💋 - Rudyard
send 💋 to get a kiss from my muse
Jane smiled into her kiss as she felt Rudyard shudder beneath her. She loved how cautious he was with his kisses. It made her feel like a special treat, or a precious secret, while at the same time she knew that she wouldn’t care if the whole island knew that she was kissing Rudyard Funn. So she ran her hands through his hair, and drew out the kiss longer and longer. She almost wanted someone to comment on his ruffled hair, his reddened lips, the flush in his cheeks when she finally pulled herself away. Jane smirked at him as they slowly continued their walk.
“You look dashing, by the way.” She pressed an almost chaste kiss to the corner of his lips, smirking.
#Meme#V: It's Normal Because You Live Here#Maximum Efficiency: Rudyard Funn#OTP: I'm Monitoring his Progress#walkingshcdow
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@inthegroundontime From Here!
Jane sits in the kitchen, at the table, face buried in one of Rudyard’s magic books. Raiding the attic had been a fruitful endeavor, providing them with plenty of learning material, which will well-occupy their time now that there are a dearth of funerals for Rudyard to oversee and he has agreed to let Jane study him. He studies her, too, in his own way. It isn’t scientific, but he’s learned that he cannot start a conversation with her as she reads because even though she’ll be polite about it, all she will want to do is return to her book. He can’t blame her, really. The magic books are fascinating. He has also learned that the look of consternation which tugs at her face now means that something in the book she is reading is at odds with something she’s either read before or observed in action. Her hand twitches on the table, as if in search of a pen and paper. Instead, she alights upon her tea and she takes a sip. It relaxes her, but only just. The drafty kitchen can’t be as comfortable as a grand university library. Rudyard approaches her quietly. Sliding out of his jacket, he studies her teacup and it refills as he stares at it concentratedly. When she startles, he slips his jacket over her shoulders and sits opposite her. “The Billington funeral was a success. Only one person had to be ejected for violence and it wasn’t me,” he informs her. “How has your research been going?”
She’d tried to look at it as an adventure. After hours of digging through boxes, finding mostly sentimental children’s trophies and old records. But then, in the big steamer chest under a taxidermied cat, she found the jackpot. Jane hadn’t cheered that hard since she’d gotten accepted to Cambridge.
Once everyone knew she hadn’t found anything dangerous up in the attic, Jane had gotten right to work. She cross referenced with what little information she had, as well as with her observations of Rudyard over the last few weeks. He was already improving so quickly! His mastery of tiny magics still impressed her, and he was doing more and more of them every day. Jane was almost getting used to them, but she still noticed when something warm settled over her shoulders.
“Oh! Oh I’m glad to hear that.” Which was true. She was glad to see that no one needed bailing out of jail or a ride to the hospital, especially Rudyard. Jane pulled the jacket a bit tighter around her and looked back at her notes. “It’s been, ah, difficult.”
She didn’t want to admit just how difficult to him. Jane had found dozens of ‘rules’ that conflicted themseves, paragraphs of explanation negated by one or two sentences later on. She wonderedif that was simply the nature of magic, or if she was somehow missing something. “But I have made some progress, I think. Of course, you’ll have to be the final judge of that.”
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“Don’t get up just yet, I’ll miss having you next to me.” - Rudyard
I Want My Arms About You
“I was only going to the kitchen.” Jane chuckled softly, but she let herself settle back into Rudyard’s arms anyway. She didn’t take much convincing. He was warm and comforting pressed against the length of her body, and she was content to lay against him for a while longer. “But if you insist.” They had some time anyway. No one would mind if they just, stayed here, for a few minutes longer. Maybe a lot of minutes.
She dozed off a bit after a few minutes, but eventually the grumbling in her stomach forced her to at least shift. “Would you let me go and get a snack if I promise to come back?” She asked, only slightly joking. Jane heard a grumble that hadn’t come from her own stomach and smiled wider. “And bring you something too?”
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“I don’t like the man across the road from me.” - Rudyard (of course)
From the Owl Sanctuary
Jane giggled slightly. “Rudyard, that’s hardly news.” She hadn’t even met this Chapman. She’d only heard of him, and seen him around the island. But everyone knew of Rudyard’s one sided rivalry with the Other Funeral Director. She couldn’t figure it out herself. The villiage certainly had enough accidents to keep them both running.
“Why do you bring it up?” She asked, looking up at him. They’d been working on his control, and she hadn’t heard anything unfortunate about Chapman in the last few days, so she doubted it was anything magical. Maybe he’d seen something that had him curious? “Did something happen to him? Are you worried?”
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@inthegroundontime Starter from Here!
“Let me fix that for you.” asked by professor-of-predators
“What? Oh. Yes.”
Rudyard stopped fiddling with his tie. His hands fluttered uselessly to his sides as he allowed Jane to reach up and re-tie it for him. Typically, he had no trouble readying himself for a funeral service, but Rudyard’s nerves ran high and jittery today. He supposed he was excited but only because he’d snagged the booking from Eric Chapman at the last possible second and made promises that he needed to deliver on for the Carlo family. It seemed that they wanted a great and terrible storm for the funeral and when Chapman said, “We can check the weather, but I can’t guarantee-” and Rudyard had said, “I can. I can guarantee the biggest storm you’ve ever seen for your wife’s funeral, Mr. Carlo!”, well, Rudyard may have overextended himself. His hands wouldn’t stop shaking as he thought about the storm he needed to conjure for today’s funeral. “Rudyard can’t actually control the weather,” Chapman had told the widower. “That’d be ridiculous.”
“I guarantee that I can control the weather!” Rudyard said. “Especially thunderstorms!”
Maybe he’d been overzealous. He looked at Jane now, watching her loop his tie into place. “You think I can control the weather, don’t you, Jane?” he asked. “It looks cloudier to you outside at least, doesn’t it?”
Jane flipped the tie deftly, honed by many years of helping her father ready himself for town hall meetings. She pulled it tight, but not too tight, and dusted the shoulders of Rudyards suit coat as a sort of last look. For all the dust and darkness of his suit, at least Rudyard himself looked nice. Jane let her hands rest on his shoulders and smiled up at him.
“I don’t just think. I know.” She patted one of his shoulders. It was true. Rain usually folowed Rudyard like flies followed pigs. But that had been before he knew what he was doing. Certainly before he’d had any chance to be self conscious of it. “But you’ve got to relax. Remember what we talked about.”
Jane patted his shoulder again, but couldn’t seem to take her hands off him just yet. She wished she could give him something more than just advice. Something concrete. At the very least she wished she had some way to help him if it didn’t work out. “Do you want me to come along? I’ve still got that black dress.”
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‘ I will make you some tea. ’ -Rudyard
Caring
Jane snuffled, nodding. She hated being sick like this. The weakness had kept her mostly confined for almost two days, living off of whatever snacks she could scrounge from her purse and water from the connected bathroom. She’d just started to wonder how long it would take for the residents of Piffling to find her body when Rudyard came over.
He’d already been so patient, waiting for her to shamble to the door and let him in. As soon as he saw her he shifted into something she hadn’t seen before. Caring, and kind, and just a bit stern as he led her to the sofa to rest. She was sure she looked frightful: hair tangled, eyes red, nose stuffed. But Jane was too weak to resist, and too greatful for his efforts to stop him.
“Thank you.” She managed, her voice croaking. How he could put up with her in this state was a mystery. “You don’t have to stay. I don’t want you to get sick too.”
#walkingshcdow#OTP: I'm Monitoring His Progress#Meme#Maximum Efficiency: Rudyard Funn#V: It's Normal Because You Live Here
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@inthegroundontime From Here!
“A proper funeral home would be incomplete without a few spiders,” Rudyard says philosophically. “I feel sorry for the poor things, really. Misunderstood. All they want to do is eat a few flies, spin a few webs, make a living, and everyone just has to squash their hopes and dreams and fragile, little bodies and their even more fragile spirits…”
Jane didn’t even bother trying to hide her elation. She’d never met anyone who didn’t think spiders were at least creepy, even if they didn’t want to crush them underfood. Her eyes sparkled up at Rudyard with childish excitement.
“Yes! Yes exactly! But they’re so much better than that! They’re beautiful and exotic and some even have little furry boots!!” She caught herself rambling and shook sense into her mind. “I, noticed you sometimes talk to that Mouse. Would you, ah, would you like to meet my pet?”
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