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vvienne · 3 years

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RANWAN FIC RECS

Absolute Zero by jitterati

Pathologically solitary academic Chu Wanning left behind a life of research to enlist with the Pan-Pacific Defense Corps Jaeger team when giant monsters began to emerge from the Pacific ocean, eager to leave his personal entanglements behind him and join humanity's collective battle against the threat of extinction.

His goal is to build an artificial intelligence that will allow a pilot to operate a Jaeger mech solo - eliminating the need for pilot compatibility and the mortifying ordeal of being totally known by another person, a "neurological handshake" known colloquially as the drift.

He didn't expect his former students to follow him all the way to front line of the war against the kaiju.

Featuring lots of side character interaction, pining, yearning, questions on the nature of personhood, friendship between jerks, people coping badly with loss, snarky AI, and giant robots. Illustrations by Saika & Daru

Husky and his White Kitten Disciple by JustAMoon123

Within a lonely heart, the seeds of hatred start to grow.

-A 2ha Age and Role-Reversal AU.-

NOTE: This Story is Now E Rated!

[Before meeting Chu Wanning, Mo Ran had drawn his power exclusively from the Wood side of his dual Spiritual Root, and his Qi had always glowed green.

Now, only when in battle did it do so, with Bugui’s blade encased in a tyrannical green light.

Outside of battle, like when he set barriers of warmth; or made Crystal Butterflies to tease golden flowers; or cast a small array to keep a box of food warm, his Qi manifested with a gentle red glow.

Mo Ran’s Wood was destructive, while his Fire was protective.

Ah, Mo Weiyu, Mo Weiyu. Even your power betrays you.]

Burn, Pine, and Perish by moonqueenmaia

It’s been two days since Taxian-Jun’s last visit, and Mo Ran hasn’t touched Chu Wanning at all, beyond gentle and fleeting caresses. Chu Wanning decides to take matters into his own hands by surprising Mo Ran when he comes back to their home after a trip down the mountain.

it's no coincidence (it's a kitty-incidence) by lanzhan (gothguk)

There’s a white cat lounging in the middle of Mo Ran's bed.

to touch you with bare hands (even if it burns) by moonqueenmaia

Chu Wanning is a renowned professor of mechanical engineering at Sisheng Peak University. Beautiful, lonely, and talented beyond belief, he has spent his 32 years mostly by himself, silently and secretly yearning for affection and companionship. Yet Chu Wanning has resolved to himself that he will spend the rest of his life alone, no matter his hidden fantasies.

Enter Taxian-jun, an unruly, arrogant, and struggling student, fiery and domineering, who comes in and shatters the calm of Chu Wanning's life. They enter into an agreement, both burying their feelings underneath a storm of lust and lies. Yet amidst it all, something deeper may be helplessly and slowly blooming.

It is up to them to cultivate it, or destroy it for good.

cursed by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning and his disciples are sent to investigate an abandoned village, and Chu Wanning is hit with a curse.

Mo Ran was determined to treat his shizun respectfully in this life, but what choice does he have?

liar liar cock on fire by lofikv

I (32M) walked in on my roommate (23M) masturbating in our living room. Ever since then I couldn't erase the image of his penis in my mind but I found a sex toy online that is almost as big as him, so I bought it and tried it on myself so that I can imagine how he would feel inside me. I have also been romantically attracted to him ever since we started living together. How can I cope with this?

UPDATE: He caught me in the middle of an emergency.

(Absolute) Unit 311 by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning doesn't have a soulmark.

Neither does Mo Ran.

ducks entering highway by Sectionladvivi

Mo Ran finds out his well-respected, MILF-coded, tears-of-angels-tight-ass robotics professor moonlights as an erotic novelist. He immediately leverages this knowledge for an opportunity to play tonsil hockey.

to yearn by devilsoupe

Chu Wanning starts to cough up flowers. Taxian-Jun is angry. Chu Wanning is not allowed to die pining for someone else.

When it starts happening again in his second life, Mo Ran knows enough to worry.

from blossom to blossom to impossible blossom by Wildehack (tyleet)

Taxian Jun is the victim of a flower curse.

sticky fingers by fakeplasticlily

The man tosses the towel unceremoniously back at Mo Ran’s chest, like he’s personally offended by it. And the fact that his hands had just been all over said chest barely minutes earlier, maybe. “Please pack a box of egg tarts with extra custard filling, a box of red bean paste buns with extra syrup, a rice pudding with extra candied fruit garnish, and a box of osmanthus cakes with extra sweet pear jam.” Mo Ran’s eyes grow progressively wider as he lists the items. It’s him. Not the suburban mother of four, not the elderly guy dealing with a midlife crisis, but quite possibly the hottest guy he’s ever seen. Who also happens to have the highest sugar tolerance Mo Ran has seen in a human being in his two years of running this bakery.

Hard to Love The Lonely Night by bloodsongs

Chu Wanning glares up at him, adjusting his women’s robes. “Still, why couldn’t you have been the wife instead?”

Coughing politely, Mo Ran looks to the side, avoiding his gaze. “Shizun’s skills with the illusion barrier far surpass this humble disciple’s, and, well…”

He doesn’t need to complete his sentence—it’s infuriating, but Mo Ran is now taller than him, broader than him, larger than him. Very much so. The young sapling he raised in Sisheng Peak is now a full-fledged tree, a man built like the mountains Chu Wanning has seen in his travels.

Chu Wanning and Mo Ran pretend to be a married couple visiting a small mountain town to investigate some suspicious disappearances. Mini Canon AU casefic. Contains spoilers up to Chapter 130 or so of the novel.

Purple Ink by jeejaschocolate

Chu Wanning is a robotics engineer who lives a life of isolation and loneliness, only partially due to his chronic illness. Eventually he gets so sick that he requires the help of a full-time medical assistant.

Of course, these days, all those jobs are given to CyberLife androids.

Chu Wanning resents the android they give him. From his fiery eyes to his long black hair, to his incomparable tenderness and consideration for Wanning’s feelings.

He resents him. All the way until he falls in love with him.

Fallen Flowers in Swallows' Nests by bloodsongs

You deserve better—I refuse to disrespect you ever again. I want to be better. I must be better.

But I don’t know how. I don’t know what to do.

I don’t know where Taxian-Jun ends and Mo-Zongshi begins.

I only know now that I cannot lie to myself: I want you so fiercely that I burn with it, I am consumed with the desire to make you mine and mine alone. To become one with you, feeling your fire twine with mine.

Or, Chu Wanning finds letters from Mo-Zongshi that were never shared with him.

These hitherto undiscovered letters cover a range of emotions that weren't present in the book he gifted his Shizun: contrition, yearning, and desire.

Counterpoint by senchafloat

Five years ago, Mo Ran was just a boy who loved playing piano—there were many things he didn't know. He didn't know how capricious and unforgiving the world of classical music could be. He didn't know just how lucky he was to have Chu Wanning as his teacher.

Five years later, Chu Wanning is now a renowned concert pianist, and Mo Ran is an upstart conducting student. When Chu Wanning shows up unannounced at his alma mater, Mo Ran has plenty of questions, along with a desire to prove his worth to his old teacher. But as it turns out, Chu Wanning isn't as invincible as he once seemed. As old secrets come up to the surface, the two of them are forced to reinvent the ways they'll make music together.

impatient to adore you by riverdanceeee

At some heartbreaking point in his life, Mo Ran accepted that Chu Wanning would never reciprocate his feelings, so he dealt with it as any other person would. He'd rid himself of his affection, respect their friendship, and learn to move on. But Mo Ran's affection runs too deep, and when any opportunity to spend time with Chu Wanning knocks on his door, he goes running to answer and accept. Even if it means he has to break up a potentially dangerous dog fighting ring.

To Bow Before A Willow Vine by bloodsongs

“I…” Mo Ran hadn’t thought that far. He shakes his head, lowering his head in deference, resting his forehead against Chu Wanning’s knuckles. "I'll do anything you want of me."

The silence stretches on for a beat too long.

"Anything?" Chu Wanning says eventually, tilting his head.

Written for 2Ha Week, Day 4: Reverse AU for the 0.5 timeline. When Chu Wanning storms Sisheng Peak and crowns himself the cultivation world's new emperor, Mo Ran trades his life for Xue Meng's. Contains spoilers for up to the end of the novel.

Call me by my name by rinsled05

When the man called Taxian-Jun arrives, years later, it’s the coming of a storm.

He sweeps into a dinner appointment between Chu Wanning and a client, clad in black, a smirk tugging at his mouth. Over the spark of irritation, Chu Wanning can’t help but admire his lean frame, the way his hair, cut rebelliously short, falls over smoldering, dark eyes. The way he towers over him, even when Chu Wanning rises to full height.

Chu Wanning’s heart races as Taxian-Jun leans in close, ignoring the shouts and gasps around them.

“Sakaki of Ran,” he purrs in their native tongue. “You’re mine.”

Chu Wanning lifts his chin. “I don’t know you.”

“You will,” Taxian-Jun says, and leaves.

In which Chu Wanning is a courtesan serving Chinese merchants in Nagasaki, Japan, and Taxian-Jun decides to make him his.

荷官牌型 ♠️ The Croupier's Hand by bloodsongs

In deep financial straits after losing his job as a teacher, a desperate Chu Wanning becomes a croupier at Sisheng's new casino.

The once sleepy town of Sisheng Peak grows busier by the day as the casino draws more and more tourists to their mountains. Consumed by his lingering regrets over the worst mistake of his life that destroyed his teaching career, Chu Wanning is too distracted to worry about anything else but his next shift, his next paycheck.

Except that's when Mo Ran, the reason Chu Wanning lost everything, returns to Sisheng Peak.

As the heir to the casino.

White Rabbit Club by minkit

Desperate to rid himself of a few pesky things called virginity and desire, Chu Wanning waltzes into a world he knows little about and right into the embrace of a mysterious stranger who reminds him of the student he's been dreaming about all year. The lust fueled dreams his student stars in are the very reason Chu Wanning applied to the sex club in the first place, and now he's desperate to get rid of these filthy impulses once and for all.

Congratulations, Chu Wanning, on your acceptance into the White Rabbit Club. We hope you enjoy your stay.

Risk and Restraint by purloinedinpetrograd

There is nobody Mo Ran works with who does not love him. He’s worked hard to cultivate this image while he climbs the corporate ladder at Sisheng, and it’s paid off in dividends. He’s in every WeChat group. He can call in favors with any division of any department. He can make even the tightest of deadlines relax their stranglehold on his team.

That is, there is nobody except, of course, Chu Wanning.

A Lingering Sweetness by theherocomplex

Chu Wanning is now all too aware of what he looks like: a dry stick of a man, never handsome, angular and cold and pale. A drab, short-tempered creature, as appealing as a splinter in one's foot. But Mo Ran looks at him as if he will never get his fill, and part of Chu Wanning thinks, What if —?

At the end of the line by PearlAquaBlue

“So … I reckon someone thought you needed to loosen up a little bit. Now that you’re here, want to try it?”

Chu Wanning hangs up. Throws her phone on her pillow with a disgusted glare after it. Stands up and paces to the kitchen in long, angry strides. Her cheeks are burning. With trembling fingers, she grabs a glass and pours herself some water, gulping it down in one go. It doesn’t help much. She grips the kitchen counter tightly, then marches back into the bedroom to glare at the phone again. Her fingertips itch, and it’s as if some kind of magnetic force draws her closer and closer to her bed until her fingertips are but an inch away from that tempting black mirror. Before she knows it, she’s unlocked it unsteadily and pressed “repeat” on the last call.

“Welcome to Sisheng Peak – ”

“And what would that entail?” she asks, a little too breathless.

Let's Fall in Love for the Night by purloinedinpetrograd

Chu Wanning could only stare in horror as a large cloud of sickeningly yellow pollen rose from the field, blanketing the place where Mo Ran stood in a heavy fog. “Um,” he said lamely.

“Fuck,” Mo Ran cursed, and Chu Wanning didn’t even have the heart to chastise him for his coarse language, because he was too preoccupied wrestling the surge of fear at seeing his disciple disappear behind the haze of that indeterminately threatening dust.

A million terrible possibilities raced through his mind, each one more dramatic and gruesome than the last. His heart hammered against his ribcage, threatening to crack the bones. “Mo Ran,” he said slowly, “I think you should tell me what that does, now.”

Xue Zhengyong sends Chu Wanning and Mo Ran on a mission to find a specific ingredient for some concoction of his wife’s. Chu Wanning is torn between rejoicing at the chance to spend time alone with Mo Ran... and grieving over the very same thing.

But, well, it’s just flowers. What could go wrong, right? (Spoiler alert: it’s sex pollen.)

the day dawns in your hues by localshabba

2ha Week 2020 Day 1 prompt - Haitang

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Schoolteacher Mo Ran is having an ordinary day until he has an awkward encounter with the notoriously rigid school librarian, which leads to the start of something new.

Also features: flowers, dinosaurs and lots of tenderness and pining.

helping hands by verity

When Mo Ran was but a young, innocent, virtuous grad student—well, one of those things—she built that couch from a flatpack box with her own two hands. Over the years, the smell of polyester and cheap foam padding has given way to an equally aromatic blend of Chu Wanning's haitang blossom perfume, spilled coffee, and white lithium grease. Chu Wanning herself is always perfectly dressed without a stain in sight. Even right now, her head tucked onto one folded arm, the other loosely gripping her tablet, she looks so formal.

Mo Ran gently rests a hand on Chu Wanning's socked ankle where it peeks out of those tailored white trousers. She really should behave herself.

She really should... behave herself...

in plain sight by localshabba

Written for a prompt fill in the 2ha Kink Meme.

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"I have a surprise," Mo Ran breathed, coming to stand so close behind him that his breath landed on Chu Wanning's nape. Not touching Chu Wanning any other way, because he likes to make Chu Wanning lean back just a little bit, to seek out that contact himself.

"I think Chu-laoshi will enjoy it."

Chu Wanning is sure he agreed to the whole idea; he's just unclear on when. Things got hazy around the point when Mo Ran turned him around by the shoulders, got down on his knees and...well. Apparently he'd skipped breakfast that morning.

When he returned to his senses, his clothes were all neatly tucked into place, not a stain on them, and a charmingly pink sexual aid was nestled comfortably up his--ahem, inside him.

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Now available in Spanish!

casually acquainted by tagteamme

Chu Wanning knows what he is and what he isn’t. And where he lacks in pleasantries and outward appeal, he makes up for in untouchable grace and dignity.

It threatens to unravel once he meets a familiar face in an unfamiliar city.

“So quick to run away from me, Chu-laoshi,” Mo Ran says, voice gently teasing as Chu Wanning refuses to make eye contact with him. “After you came all the way from…”

He trails off, waiting for Chu Wanning to let him know, but he sees the map open on Chu Wanning’s phone and grins wider. “You want directions?”

Chu Wanning clears his throat, and shakes his head. He should say something— instead, he stays silent as he looks down at his phone and punches in the hotel name again.

Happily, his phone tells him to try again when he has signal.

The Right Hand of Light by gedsparrowhawk (FaceChanger)

Chu Wanning is asleep on the bed, clutching his hands tightly to his chest and curled in on himself. He’s still wearing the same robes he was in in the water prison. On the writing desk, a bowl of water and clean linen for bandages sit untouched, and a tub of bathwater has cooled without being used. Mo Ran sighs to himself. Wanning is truly hopeless.

He sits on the side of the bed and touches Chu Wanning’s shoulder. “Wanning,” he says. “Wanning, wake up.”

---

Rare 0.5 tenderness, after the water prison.

nothing can consume you by tagteamme

Mo Ran’s violent history has never had to catch up to him.

It’s already embedded itself into him as scars on his body, as a tattoo on his forearm, as the lingering taste of blood in his sleep and finally, as the searing brand pressed against his chest before he’s thrown into the sea as punishment. He knows that this is where all his chances come to an end.

But as the deep fathom of the water swallows him up, something else saves him and pulls him to a tiny cove tucked away off the coast of an overlooked port town. When he wakes up under the care of a mythical creature wearing a familiar face, an even older and more distant past finally finds him.

#ranwan #2ha #erha #chu wanning #mo ran #2ha recs #fic recs #2ha spoilers

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manggaetteokkie · 4 years

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Why 2HA adaptation might not be as bad as we think...

Okay so BL novel “The Husky and His White Cat Shizun” (chinese title: “二哈和他的白猫师尊”) aka 2HA is getting a live adaption which will be called “Immortality” (“皓衣行”). I know that usually, fans of original works are less than excited about this kinds of news and with good reasons. The issue is that those who buy the IP rights to a novel simply see its popularity and think that they can profit off of it without actually trying to understand the reason behind its popularity. Too often, BL fans see themselves forced to endure any of the following: 1) sex change of one of the male leads, 2) creation of a random female love interest, 3) turning a happy end into a bad end, 4) adding a bunch of scenes unrelated to our main pair that ends up dragging the series, 5) turning romance into brotherly affection... the list goes on and on. Sometimes, companies think that as long as they film any two guys together and sell a bit of physical touching here and there, fans will jump on it like rabid dogs which... is kinda stupid because, y’know, we have eyes (and standards) too.

So obviously, with the unprecedented popularity that came with the release of The Untamed, even more producers are starting to see the potential of danmei (BL) novels and with it came an onslaught of IP rights being bought and adapted. The list is pretty extensive, with some big names that I’m sure anyone who’s even slightly in the Chinese BL novel community has heard of before. Of course, included in that list, with the casting for the leads done and filming underway, is 2HA.

Quick overview of the story for those of you that don’t know: the story is set in the POV of the “gong” (top), a character named Mo Ran (also known as Mo Weiyu) who is the disciple of Chu Wanning, the “shou” (bottom) of our story. In his original life, Mo Ran had become the Emperor of the cultivation world through slaughter and tyranny, with the only one ever coming close to stopping him being his shizun, Chu Wanning, who eventually lost his life trying to stop him. After achieving the top by committing pretty much all crimes and sins known to men, weary and tired, Mo Ran decides to take his own life and ends it all. Unexpectedly, instead of dying and going to Hell, he transmigrated to the first year he became a disciple. As a thirty-something man in the body of a teen, he decides to do things right this time around and save the one he couldn’t save the first time around. As he goes through life a second time, truth after truths reveal themselves, with the biggest surprise being that the Shizun he hated so much in his previous life, and who Mo Ran thought hated/scorned him, actually turned out to be protecting him the entire time.

Mo Ran, in his past life, was powerful, cruel, merciless and arrogant. There was nothing he could not obtain and he knew it. He was cynical, had a very jaded view of the world and was kind of unstable (lots of mood swings and temper tantrums). After his rebirth, he still maintained some of the arrogance and cynicism, but is more mischievous, confident and cheeky. He is very much like a husky, looks kind of scary and big, but can be extremely loyal to the ones he recognizes and can be a bit dumb sometimes. Chu Wanning on the other hand, is an unflappable person with a frost-like exterior, but a heart of gold. Basically, he cares a lot but it’s easier for him to look like he doesn’t than to voice his feelings. He gets embarrassed easily and covers his embarrassment using anger. He is extremely strong, likes peace and quiet, and always abides by the rules.

Their relationship is kind of complicated. Initially, Mo Ran was in love with a fellow disciple called Shi Mei (despite the word meaning junior female disciple in Chinese, it’s actually the name of a male character). In the original timeline, Shi Mei died and that was the start of Mo Ran’s decline. After his rebirth, Mo Ran decides that he will do everything in his power to prevent Shi Mei from dying again. Don’t be mistaken though, Shi Mei is NOT the male lead. You’ll see as you read more that despite being in love with Shi Mei, Mo Ran is pretty obsessed with Chu Wanning because their relationship was kind of... complicated in the original timeline.

This is pretty much the premise for the story, but do be warned that it goes much deeper and darker than what you might expect (it’s rated R-18 for a reason). So why exactly am I writing all of this? To put it simply, I just kind of want to hype up the series and its adaptation a little, or at least, pique enough interest to give the live action adaptation a chance. Not gonna lie, when I heard 2HA was getting adapted, I was pretty skeptical because how. Mo Ran and Chu Wanning had a pretty physical relationship in the pre-rebirth timeline and that’s partially where the obsession that Mo Ran feels towards Chu Wanning stems from. There’s just basically a lot of unresolved sexual tension between them throughout the novel that I simply couldn’t see getting adapted. However, after thinking about it and reevaluating things from a low-expectations-standpoint, I think it might actually be possible to film something close enough to the original work. Here are some of the factors that influenced my opinion:

First, the series is set to air for 50 episodes (just like The Untamed). Why is the number of episodes important? Because it will determine how closely the adaptation will follow the original story and how much random stuff they can fit into it. Let’s take a step back and evaluate: 2HA’s novel has 311 chapters + extras while MDZS has 113 + extras. Obviously, people might have an issue with the number of episodes (”How are you going to air the same amount of episodes for a series that’s thrice as long??”) but I think it’s a good amount. Why? Because it pretty much guarantees a solid pacing that’ll keep the story moving forward without stagnating. I don’t think there is too much to worry in terms of too much source material being cut because quite a few chapters are R-18/romantic lining scenes that would not have gotten adapted anyways. Once those get deleted, I think 50 episodes is an acceptable amount.

Second, the entire production seems to be solid. The rights were actually bought by Tencent who, if you forgot, was also responsible for The Untamed. With prior success, I believe that they now have a pretty solid idea of how things should be run. Also, the CGI and world-design team is the same one as for Ashes of Love, which has me pretty stoked because while CG in chinese dramas has always been a hit or miss, Ashes of Love is definitely amongst some of the best I’ve seen (see below for examples). (P.S. there are also rumours that Lin Hai, the one responsible for The Untamed’s OST, might be working on 2HA but this is mere speculation at this point.) Overall, 2HA is looking to be like the most high-profile and expensive BL adaption yet.

Third and finally, the casting.

Holy.

Okay.

This is what has me the most hyped.

Let’s start with Shi Mei, who will be portrayed by actress Chen Yao (or Sebrina Chen).

I know I’ve said that despite the name, Shi Mei is a male. As it turns out, likely for censorship reasons, “Immortality” could not escape from the clutches of the dreaded sex change so they went ahead and turned him into a girl. While not ideal, in my opinion, it actually works out pretty nicely here. In this case, it means that Mo Ran is in love with a female character which would further draw censorship’s attention away from the fact that Mo Ran really has a thing for his beautiful shizun. While it would have been perfect if everything could go according to source material, the fact that it’s Shi Mei that went through a sex change actually works pretty favourably in the grand scheme of things. Not to mention the actress set to play Shi Mei has some good experience acting similar roles so overall, I say that I trust her.

Next, we have Chu Wanning who will be played by Luo Yunxi (or Leo Luo).

For this character, I have no worries whatsoever. If you’re unfamiliar with this actor, I highly recommend you give Ashes of Love a try. He played the 2nd lead and ugh. He’s so good at playing beautiful and elegant characters that are forced to undergo a ton of suffering and pain. Luo Yunxi used to be a professional ballet dancer so he moves with grace and his fight scenes are amazing to watch. Also, he has great control over his facial expressions. He’s able to act out characters that suffer a lot without making them seem weak or powerless. Even the way he cries can be considered both beautiful and heartbreaking.

Finally, we have Mo Ran who will be portrayed by Chen Feiyu (or Arthur Chen).

Mo Ran is an extremely complex character. From pre-rebirth’s insanity and arrogance, to post-rebirth’s hope and reservation, to post-revelation’s love and devotion, the actor’s going to have a lot on his plate. Originally, when I first googled him, I thought that while he’d manage to pull off post-rebirth teen!Mo Ran fairly well given how clean and refreshing his face looks, he’d have a harder time pulling off pre-rebirth’s arrogance, craziness and general “hardness”. However, after seeing some costume designs and makeup edits, I think that the boy might just pull it off. Also, while the actor is nowhere near as solid as Luo Yunxi is, it seems that he’s willing to put in extra time and effort (as seen by his Weibo post about how he’d been studying the source material) to make up for it. I think that with enough dedication, he might just be able to pull it off.

(Psssst! By the way, keeping this strictly between you and me, another reason why I’m such a fan of this pair is because of the height difference. I mean just look at this?? Their height difference is pretty much bang on with the novel height difference after Mo Ran grew past Chu Wanning’s height. Not to mention, don’t tell me you see this and don’t automatically picture a the big dorky puppy following his reserved and cool master around?)

So yeah, all of this just to say that it might be okay to kind of have some expectations for 2HA. I really want to keep my own expectations down as low as possible given the amount of times we’ve been burned but I want to remain hopeful that, with the success of The Untamed, it can pave the way for better and more faithful danmei adaptations, with 2HA being one of them.

#the husky and his white cat shizun #二哈和他的白猫师尊 #2ha #immortality #皓衣行 #haoyixing #luo yunxi #chen feiyu #chen yao #leo luo #arthur chen #sebrina chen #chu wanning #mo ran #mo weiyu #long post #talking with zb

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bee-kathony · 5 years

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Four Years | Year Three - “March 30th, 2016″

a/n: thank you so much for reading!

Year One | Year Two

January 9th, 2016 | January 24th, 2016 | March 3rd, 2016

March 30th, 2016

Jamie’s POV

Claire’s wee garden would have to wait a few more weeks, but I had bought all the seeds she could ever need and had strategically placed them near the teapot so she would see them. Claire never went a day without having a cup of tea. It had been one of the few things she had let me help her with — bringing her tea whenever she wanted it. She was still distant, but I knew the talk with Jenny had helped and I could see traces of the light peeking through the wall she’d built.

It was still cold outside and it would be for some time. I wanted to get Claire out of our house. Out of our house with the nursery that I had been slowly taking apart. Everyday I walked past it and boxed something up. I should just do it all in one go, but it hurt too much — once all of Jane’s belongings were put away, then she was really gone.

Jenny and Ian invited us to come and spend some time at Lallybroch. I could work from there and Claire still wasn’t full time back at the hospital so it seemed like the right thing to do. Besides, we had left Annie with my sister while Fergus got used to everything — I always thought that dogs knew when it’s owners were in pain. Adso had stayed with us however, running away from Fergus’s small hands trying catch his tail.

“Chien?”

Fergus hadn’t stopped talking about the dog since the moment I mentioned we would go and see one. His eyes lit up and he kept sticking his tongue out in imitation of one.

“Aye, wee lad. We’re goin’ to see our chien,” I smiled and picked him up, settling him on my waist. “We just need to get yer Mam and her things.”

I walked down the hallway to our room where Claire had been packing a bag earlier and found her staring at herself in the mirror. Her eyes were fixed on her stomach and I carefully set Fergus down on the bed and walked up behind her.

“Sassenach?” I touched her shoulder lightly. “Are ye almost ready to go? I told Jenny we’d be there in an hour.”

Blinking, she met my eye in the mirror and smiled softly. “Yes, I’m ready.” Her hand fell from her stomach and she turned to grab her overnight bag.

“I’ll get that, a nighean,” I took the bag from her hand and kissed her cheek. She tensed, but only slightly and then I felt her give in as she closed her eyes.

“Thank you, Jamie.”

It was more than just a ‘thank you’ for picking up her bag. It was a ‘thank you for being patient with me’. However long it took for Claire to come back to me, I would wait. I would be there whenever she needed me. Claire has already suffered more than one should; I only wished that she would share her burden with me.

“Ye can head out to the car, I’ll bring Fergus,” I kissed her cheek again and she left the room.

“Come on, lad. Let’s go see the chien.”

++++++

A light snow covered the ground as we arrived at Lallybroch and when I set Fergus on the ground, he took two fumbling steps and plopped down on his bum. It was almost April, but Scottish weather was unpredictable. Claire snickered and bent down to pick him up. It was the first time I had seen her willingly interact with him. I knew she loved him, but it also pained her — I could see it in her eyes.

“Wet,” Fergus said, his tiny hands pressing against Claire’s cheeks and she shivered.

“Very wet,” She said and then started walking inside. I followed close behind with the bags, setting them down in the entrance.

“Janet! Ian! We’re here!”

Ruff!

Annie came running around the corner at the sound of my voice. First jumping up to my knees, barking and shaking her tail and after a satisfactory head scratch, she ran to Claire, licking at her ankles.

“Stop it, Annie, that tickles,” Claire smiled. We really didn’t deserve dogs.

“Thank heavens yer here,” Jenny appeared from kitchen with Ian following her, carrying their youngest Katherine. “Ye are goin’ to take that damn dog home wi’ ye this time?”

I looked over at Claire who had set Fergus down and was now placing his hand on top of Annie’s furry head.

“Aye, we can do that. Fergus has settled in nicely so far,” I grinned.

“Sweet Mary and Joseph,” Jenny made the sign of the cross and I laughed. “Having five bairns in the house, two dogs of our own, a cat and then adding yer dog in the mix has been a wee bit rough.”

“Annie is well behaved surely,” Claire said from the ground.

“She’s fine, but tis my kids that arena,” She smirked. “Wee beasties when they all get together.”

“Not Katherine,” Ian said, bouncing her in his arms. “Not yet anyways.”

“So I take it ye will be havin’ anymore bairns?” Smirking, I picked up our bags and started walking towards the stairs.

“Och, God no. I’ve already made Ian promise to get a vasectomy for my birthday present.”

I winced, looking over at Ian who’s lips were pressed tight. “Aye, I did.”

Laughing, I walked up to my old room, setting down the bags and nearly jumped out of my skin a moment later when I felt someone’s hand on my back.

“Jesus! Sassenach,” I turned towards her. “Ye scairt me half to death.”

“Sorry,” she said through a shy smile.

“Are ye alright? Do ye feel okay?” I slid my arms around her waist, looking for any signs that she was anything but fine.

Nodding, she stepped closer and laid her head against my chest. “I’m tired of being sad.”

“Mo ghraidh,” I laid my hand on the back of her head. “I ken. It’s just been two months. Ye’ve every right to feel sad.”

“But I don’t want to,” she mumbled against my chest.

“Is there somethin’ we can do to take yer mind off of it?” Placing my hand under her chin, I turned it so she would look up at me. “Play a board game? We havena done that since before yer chemo. Do ye remember that day?”

“I do,” she grinned then, a genuine smile. “That was one of the best days.”

“Then let’s get changed into some comfy clothes,” I kissed her. “And then we’ll go downstairs and play a game with our family.”

“Sounds like a plan,” she said and then moved to pull out sweats from her bag.

“Annie was happy to see ye.”

“I missed her,” she said. “Fergus seems to love her. I left him downstairs and they were both getting along just fine.”

“Dogs are verra good wi’ bairns,” I smiled, pulling off my jeans one leg at a time. I found my grey sweats from my bag and slid them on, sighing at the comfort. “When I was a lad, my dog Nairn used to let me ride him around the place.”

“Like a horse?”

“Aye, Sassenach. Like a horse. My Mam would yell at me to get off, sayin’ that if I wanted to ride a real horse, then I should go to the stables, but Nairn was just the right size,” I laughed.

“Nairn is Bran’s grandfather,” I said as I came to sit beside Claire on the bed. “Bran might let Fergus ride on him.”

“You think?” Claire smiled.

“There’s only one way to find out…” I smirked.

++++++

Bran didn’t let Fergus ride him after all. I tried to put him on his back, but he just kept barking and trying to bite at his ankles, so on the second try, I pulled Fergus off quick. I couldn’t wait for the day that Fergus was bigger and I could teach him to ride a proper horse.

After we all ate dinner and put Fergus to bed, Jenny, Ian, Claire and I played a game of monopoly that went on for nearly four hours. Claire had always been competitive, but I could tell she was still holding back a bit. There was only so much I could do to help her, I just wanted to hold her in my arms and never let her go, but I kent she needed space.

After Jenny won the game, and we packed it back up, Claire went straight to bed, falling asleep as soon as her head hit the pillow.

I leaned over her, brushing a curl off her cheek and kissed it.

“Lord, protect my wife. Heal her heart and take away the pain that she has for our lost bairn. Dinna let her weep, but fill her with joy once again. Protect her from the things I cannot.”

#four years #outlander fanfic #jamie x claire #year three #sorry its short #jamie fraser #claire fraser

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emilypierces · 7 years

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Emily had been bad that night before. Whenever her new Daddy brought his friends over for sleepovers, as he called it, she was supposed to behave, serve and do what she was told. “It’s a special thing, these nights we have where I share my sweet Emily doll with my friends,” He would whisper in her ear. “I’m letting you out of the basement, Emmy. Be good. Behave yourself.” She would serve them drinks, food, and he would even give her a brand new dress that she got to wear. It was usually so elegant, something that Emily would try on from her mother’s closet, although all those memories were gone. She was a robot, programmed to do everything that monster wanted. When he told her to jump, she asked how high.

That was until that Friday night in January. When Emily was found.

During the little sleepover, Emily had been serving wine and spilled some one of her Daddy’s friend’s expensive coat. He yelped, as if the world had ended and after screaming in Emily’s face, left, along with everyone else. Emily knew she was in for it with her kidnapper, knew that she had done wrong. Whimpering, Emily begged for mercy, but he hit her so hard that she toppled down the stairs. When she tried to get up on battered knees, he kicked her hard, so hard that Emily passed out. When she woke up, she was naked, for the sole reason of spilling the wine on his friend’s coat. Emily could remember him smirking at her as he opened the basement locks, looking at how she shivered in the basement cold, took away her blankets.

He mocked her, told her he might always have her like this and left her in the basement. That Friday night, while cold, bleeding and crying, Emily heard the basement door bang open, as if an army was behind it. She could remember the sounds, the people rushing downstairs, the FBI jackets they all had on, the cops and their dogs. Emily had hid in the corner of the disgusting basement, cowering before them all. It wasn’t until she saw a man, man that looked so similar to her, maybe when she dreamed, that she made a sound for them to find her.

It was Adrian O’Hara.

Emily could remember the blurring feeling she felt, everything whirling around her, how the female FBI agent gave her a FBI coat that covered her completely, how they all STARED at her, this pale, skinny creature that had been deprived of clothes, that was BLOODIED and beaten. It was Adrian’s eyes that made her remember him, the total and complete sadness she saw, the despair as they walked up the stairs, away from the basement, away from her dungeon. Upstairs, in that monster’s house, beer bottles everywhere, he was calling for her, as they put cuffs on him. The female agent tried to shield the young victim, but Emily fought to get away.

“NO!” She had cried, sobbing, tears falling down her bruised, pale cheeks. “Don’t take away Daddy! He’s my Daddy! No! No, Daddy!” The world around her flew up in flames, as he was taken away and she threw a fit, sobbing, crying, screaming for him, fighting. The EMTs stuck a needle within her, to calm her down, calm her shaking, her sobbing.

The rest was like a movie that Emily didn’t remember pressing play to. The hospital, the many tests they ran on her, the thousands of reporters at the hospital, the FBI, the cops, EMTs all surrounding her, yet giving her space, all speaking in low voices about her.

She was numb, catatonic, the doctors had all whispered, which was more than normal. They treated the beating she had gotten the night before, but of course found long time scarring to her all over, scars she would bare for the world to see forever. It was then, after all the tests, that the doctor had opened and revealed Jennifer and Robert Pierce.

Jennifer was crying already, near sobbing as she took in her angel, her little girl, the little girl now eighteen that had bruises to her, skinny as a rail, sunken in, pale skin from being condemned to the basement of a monster’s house. Her father was in tears as well, but keeping his brave face on for his beloved, long suffering wife. They were told that this would be incredibly, incredibly difficult for Emily. Years and years of profound abuse left her like this, the doctors told her. She was in shock.

Emily thought these people were just figments of her imagination, of a past life, like a dream she could slip into at night. Those nights where she slept on a cold mattress, ratty blankets and pillow, and dream of a life where she sang, had choir, had birthday parties and sleepovers with friends, ice cream parties. But this wasn’t a dream; these people were in front of her.

“Em-Emily.” Jennifer Piece had gotten through with her tears. “My sweet, precious baby...My baby girl. Emily...It’s me, honey. It’s your mo-mother, baby.” The woman had cried, a tentative hand reaching out for her daughter, but Emily’s eyes widened, moving away like a cat. Jennifer’s shaking head retreated as then two boys, or men now entered the hospital room.

Ethan and Aaron Pierce. Big brothers.

Flashes of dream-like images passed through Emily’s head, of both of them, of going to the park with them, birthday parties still, Christmas mornings opening presents, but she pushed them away. They inched closer, the older one staying behind, but the slightly younger one with tears streaming down his face coming closer. “Em-Emmy.” The young man had whispered, their father putting a hand on his shoulder, as if to stop him. He refused though.

“Emmy, it’s me. Ethan. Your big brother, remember me? I taught you how to ride a bike. We used to sing together, remember? Ethan.” Flashes of summer days, of giggles, of scraped knees, but again, they slipped away as terrified Emily shook her head. “I...I d-don’t have a brother. Leave me alone!” She had shouted. The young man’s tears fell, slumping back with the slightly older man, his eyes starting to water as well.

“Okay, I think Emily has had enough.” The doctor tried to step in, but Robert Pierce stepped forward. “Wait, just...Emmy baby. Remember me? It’s Daddy. Daddy, remember?” The word Daddy was a trigger. As if in a rage, in a blur, Emily screamed, kicking and screaming as she got off the bed, screaming for her real father, the one they had taken away in cuffs.

The nurses tried to escort the family out, but too much chaos to get Emily away from the door, banging on it as hard as she could, tears falling. “TAKE ME BACK TO MY DADDY! DADDY! DADDY, HELP ME! HELP!” She had sobbed, endlessly, the four Pierces cowered in the back, all sobbing at the mess of the youngest Pierce who then needed to be sedated with a needle.

It was a blur, all a blur, ignited by a monster.

#ok omg #this is so long but so overdue #i've been writing this for so long and im so happy im done! <3 #self para #tw: kidnapping #tw: abuse #tw: hospitals #tw: child abuse

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