#Paneras are where I enter zen mode

[neioo]

.

#need another ramble post #just. feeling some sort of way right now #parents went up early and are gone this weekend. and I have plans for Saturday at least and I’ll take myself out to lunch Sunday #but idk. I miss living with my brother . or being in college before COVID when I go and sit in a library #my job I don’t interact with people my own age and me applying to others hasn’t resulted in anything despite me really feeling qualified for #one at a good company. and then some require polished pdf portfolios and I started making one but then felt ‘why waste the effort to #something that won’t pan out’ #and both drawing or writing right now feels like ‘why waste the effort’ when it wont go to anything #I could edit awh and spent the money to get feedback but that feels hopeless #I don’t know what I want. I don’t hate my job. I do a lot of cool things on it #I guess what it boils down to and what it has for a while is I wish I knew I was living in a long term arrangement with someone like my #brother . working with people my own age #and while I’ve come closer to that. it still feels out of reach ... #anyway . my cat just sat on my lap and I’m gonna watch some YouTube and play apps on my phone :-) #over the weekend when I have a burst of energy I think I’ll go to Panera (mask off) and do some portfolio editing #**mask ofc!!! not off damn you phone #Paneras are where I enter zen mode #miscellaneous #sorry for the ramble needed that