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fandom-madnessess · 5 years

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Magnus Bane/Alec Lightwood ❆ Rating: G, Word Count: 1751 ❆ Human AU, Single Parent Magnus, Fluff, Domestic Fluff, Christmas Cookies, Holidays

For @gingerangelofthursday for the @bytheangeldaily Holiday Gift Exchange. I hope you like it, and have an amazing 2019! ♥

‘Brought the flour you asked,’ Alec says as he steps into the kitchen. He looks and smells cold and windswept, his cheeks and nose red. Snowflakes are melting in his hair.

Magnus is always happy to see his downstairs neighbour, but right now he’s most excited about the bag of flour Alec is carrying under his arm. ‘Thank you.’ Magnus takes the bag and immediately starts measuring out what he needs.

‘Hi, Alec,’ Madzie says a little distractedly. She’s sitting at the kitchen island, a huge sheet of cookie dough rolled out in front of her. She’s carefully cutting out shapes with an assortment of cookie cutters.

‘What are you guys making?’

Magnus vaguely registers the rustling of Alec taking off his coat and the scraping of chair legs as Alec sits down next to Madzie.

‘Cookies,’ Madzie says like it should be obvious.

Alec huffs out a laugh. ‘I can see that. But what for? And why this many? Are you and your dad going to eat nothing but cookies this Christmas?’

‘They’re for school, so children who don’t have money can have a nice Christmas.’

‘Charity bake sale,’ Magnus adds.

‘Ah. Do you need any help?’

Magnus can’t help but smile at Madzie’s narrowed eyes as she looks at Alec, then glances at her dad. Can she trust Alec with this? They’ve both tasted some of his cooking before and it wasn’t… great. Slowly, she hands him a Christmas tree cookie cutter.

‘You can use this one.’

‘Thank you.’ Alec glances at Magnus, eyebrows raised. Magnus quickly goes back to his dough.

They find a rhythm. Magnus makes the dough, Alec helps Madzie cut out the shapes—under Madzie’s strict supervision—and then Magnus puts the cookies in the oven. After a couple hours they have about a hundred cookies in all shapes and sizes. There are quite a few Christmas trees and Santas, but Madzie wanted everyone to have a special cookie, so there are dreidels and snowmen, and a couple other shapes that Magnus can’t really define but he’s sure his daughter has a plan for.

‘Shouldn’t we decorate them?’ Alec asks, already going for the glazing and sprinkles.

‘No!’ Madzie shouts and latches onto his outstretched arm. ‘We have to let them cool down first.’

Alec presses his lips together in a barely suppressed smile and winks at Magnus. Magnus quickly looks away, so he doesn’t betray Alec with a smile of his own.

‘Well, what should we do in the meantime?’ Alec asks Madzie, easily turning her grip on his arm into them holding hands, and follows her to the living room.

‘Can we watch a movie?’

‘Sure, but maybe let Alec pick this time, sweetpea.’

‘I pick Princess and the Frog,’ Alec says.

Madzie marches triumphantly to the television.

‘You really shouldn’t give in to her so easily,’ Magnus sighs.

‘I know, but it’s hard to say no to those pigtails.’

Magnus snorts. ‘She had you wrapped around her little finger from the first time you met.’

‘True,’ Alec chuckles. He shrugs. ‘I don’t mind. So far, she’s never abused her powers.’

‘Are you sure?’ Magnus nods to where the Disney logo is appearing on the screen.

‘It’s an amazing movie,’ Alec protests.

‘Well, while you two are going to watch your amazing movie, I’m going to clean up the kitchen,’ Magnus says, pouting. ‘All on my own. With no one to help me.’

‘Make sure to clean up yourself a little, too,’ Alec teases. Then his hand is cradling Magnus’ cheek and his thumb swipes across Magnus’ cheekbone. Heat gathers where Alec’s palm is warm against his skin, then spreads through his entire body. Magnus forgets to breath for a second. ‘You’re covered in flour.’

When Alec removes his hand Magnus barely resists the urge to chase after that warm pressure.

The kitchen isn’t too big of a mess, but he does need to make room for the decorating. After a quick stop in the bathroom to wash his face, and a change of shirt, he joins Madzie and Alec on the couch.

‘We ordered Chinese,’ Alec tells him. ‘With extra spring rolls for you. For cleaning the kitchen.’ He turns his head and throws Magnus a beatific smile.

‘Thanks. And–‘

‘Shhh!’ Madzie glares at them both, then focusses back on the movie.

Magnus raises his eyebrows and catches Alec’s eye, then quickly looks away before he bursts out laughing.

They have dinner in front of the TV. The movie ends and Madzie drags them back to the kitchen to decorate the cookies. She gives them very specific instructions for how each is to be decorated, then stage whispers to Magnus to keep a close eye on Alec. Alec throws Magnus an affronted look when Madzie can’t see him, but Magnus supports his daughter on this one. Alec needs to be watched when it comes to preparing any kind of food, since, according to Madzie, he can even mess up a peanut butter and jelly sandwich.

‘Are you going to helps sell the cookies?’ Madzie asks, looking up from the snowman she’s decorating and turning to Alec.

‘I don’t think I’m allowed.’ At Madzie’s confused frown Alec explains, ‘I’m not a parent or family.’

‘Oh.’

‘Although, I could always pretend to be your dad’s boyfriend. You think that’ll get me in?’

Madzie turns with shining eyes to Magnus, silently pleading, but there’s something else there, too. Something that means she’s plotting.

‘Sure,’ Magnus says. ‘Alec can pretend to be my boyfriend to help sell the cookies.’

‘Yesss,’ Madzie grins, casts another look between the two men, and goes back to decorating.

Magnus can’t remember the last time he had this much fun, or felt so completely at peace. He doesn’t want the night to ever end, but Madzie has school the next day, which means she has to go to bed on time.

He sends her off to put on her pyjamas and brush her teeth, while he and Alec clean up all the spilled glazing and sprinkles. She’s barely in the hallway when she turns around and fixes both men with her gaze.

‘You can each have one cookie tonight,’ she says. ‘Just one.’

‘Thank you,’ Alec says, a serious look on her face.

‘We’ll only take one each,’ Magnus promises.

Madzie nods and continues on her way.

‘She’ll count them tomorrow, won’t she?’ Alec asks.

‘Oh, definitely,’ Magnus says. ‘She’ll get up extra early to make sure she has the time to count them twice.’

Alec chuckles, and starts loading the dishwasher.

‘She’s a great kid, Magnus.’

‘I know.’

‘She’s lucky to have you.’

‘Thank you.’ It’s barely more than a whisper, and it’s a struggle to get the words past the lump in his throat.

Madzie calls for Magnus when she’s ready for bed, and when he walks in, she’s already lying under the covers, the book she’s going to read by her flashlight barely tucked under her pillow. Magnus pretends he doesn’t see it. He’ll check on her in an hour.

‘Daddy,’ Madzie starts the second he walks into the room.

‘Yes, sweetpea?’

‘What if you asked Alec to really be your boyfriend? Then he wouldn’t have to pretend to come to the bake sale.’

‘Madzie…’

She sits up. ‘You smile more when he’s here. And he smiles when he looks at you.’

Magnus sits down on the edge of the mattress with a sigh. ‘Well, we’re friends. We like spending time together.’

Madzie looks unimpressed. ‘He’s here all the time. He’s come over every day this week.’

‘Well…’ Magnus has no idea what to say. He’s getting called out on his crush by his own daughter. ‘What if it doesn’t work out?’

‘It will.’

‘And you would be okay with that? With me dating Alec?’

‘I wouldn’t say it if I wasn’t.’ Madzie’s expression goes a little sad. ‘You should be happy, daddy. You’re always happy when we’re hanging out with Alec.’

For the second time that night, there’s a lump stuck in Magnus’ throat. He pulls Madzie into a hug and presses a kiss to the top of her head.

‘You are wise beyond your years, sweetpea.’

‘I am the best at English and Maths,’ Madzie reminds him.

‘I know. I saw your report cart.’ Magnus lets her back down and tucks her in. ‘You brush your teeth?’

‘Yes.’ There are very few things that Magnus’ loves more than the exasperated tone his daughter uses when she says this.

He presses one more kiss to her forehead, and makes sure she’s tucked in tight. ‘Good night, sweetpea.’

‘Good night.’

Magnus turns off the light and closes her door. He hears the snick of the flashlight turning on before he’s taken a step.

‘What are you thinking about?’

Magnus blinks. He’s sitting next to Alec on the couch, wine glass in one hand, a cookie in the other. He’d been so lost in thought about what Madzie had said, that he hadn’t realized he’d sat down, or even come back to the living room. He shakes his head and throws Alec a small smile.

‘Nothing.’

Alec raises an eyebrow. ‘You haven’t said a word since you came back from saying good night to Madzie. Is everything okay?’

‘Everything is fine. It’s just…’ Magnus looks at Alec. He really looks, and what he sees is that Alec is perfectly at home here. He doesn’t behave like a guest; helping with the washing up without being asked, ordering food, pouring drinks for the two of them. He even has his own key. ‘It’s just something Madzie says.’

Alec doesn’t say anything, just waits for Magnus to continue.

‘She says that I smile more when you’re here. And that you smile whenever you look at me.’

A blush creeps up Alec’s cheeks, but he doesn’t look away. Instead, he smiles and says, ‘You give me plenty of reason to smile.’

Magnus feels the heat creeping into his own cheeks, but he doesn’t look away either. ‘She also said I should ask you to really be my boyfriend.’

‘Well, we wouldn’t have to lie to the other parents and teachers tomorrow.’

‘Is that a yes?’ Magnus’ heart hammers in his chest, full of hope.

‘We haven’t even gone on a date yet.’

‘Do you need a date?’

Alec shakes his head, leaning in, giving Magnus plenty of time to pull back. ‘No,’ he whispers into the space between them.

Magnus closes the distance. Alec tastes of sugar and wine. And it’s perfect.

#malec #gingerangelofthursday #shadowhunters #btadholidayexchange2018 #sh fic #my fic #my tsc

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thisisasupergoodidea · 7 years

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alright, this took forever because i kept getting sidetracked, but here it is. the universe ive slowly been building up. it took so long to write. its so ridiculously lengthy. i almost want to apologize to you if you read it oh my god  the main story in this universe is project four, in which four people meet Death and tag along on its quest to convince a space wyrm not to eat the world. the death figure, kymoyef, evades capture for nearly 1000 years following the event that takes place in the four cities, observing people and steadily learning about the world as it stores energy for the big confrontation. as an energy being in the form of an object, kymoyef struggles with applying the concept of personhood to itself, but the four people who insert themselves into its business help it understand who it wants to be kymoyef’s companions love to ask questions and tell stories, one of which is an old folk tale about morality that they know as the four cities. in it, a godlike character asks kymoyef to visit four corrupt cities and raze them to the ground should their corruption be confirmed, so that the seeds of new civilization can be sown in their place. kymoyef goes to the first three places and, finding vanity, enmity, and apathy, destroys them without question. but upon reaching the fourth city and encountering suffering and hopelessness, kymoyef begins to question whether any of these people truly deserved erasure. it refuses to complete its task and instead goes into hiding to plot against the godlike character. kymoyef reveals that this tale is (generally) true  then i began fussing over details and ended up developing a plot within Sorrowstone, the city of suffering and hopelessness, where i show up close just how depressing it is through the perspective of a newcomer named rin. he joins the camp (which has no name historically since no one remembers it really existed) to escape his past and soon realizes that his stay would be permanent. the endless labor, the bleak and isolated environment, the meager food and supplies, the rampant depression of every other person in the camp - all of this combined prevented anyone from being of sound mind enough to leave. rin sees one death and promptly decides he has a duty to write down everything he observed, whether anyone would ever see it or not. that is the sorrowstone account  ok. back to the top. one of the four protagonists, caforleh, absolutely loves hearing stories and using them as inspiration for his own grand tales. i really wanted to feel justified in brainstorming for a completely separate project that had nothing to do with project four, so i clapped my hands together and declared that caforleh occasionally works on a piece of fiction that is my project inheritance, in which generation after generation of a particular lineage of siblings are all cursed to the same fate. in their lives, only and always two children will be born, quite often twins, and one will die by the actions of the other at some point. the most recent siblings are separated at a very young age after the murder of their mother, but years later one dies all too suddenly and the adults involved are sent into a panic trying to hide it from the other sibling. magic shit happens and basically you have the dead ones consciousness in the body of their sibling, not realizing theyre dead yet technically alive again, and the living ones consciousness is bound to a piece of paper in a wizard’s pocket. and everyone’s trying to run away from a cult faction that wants their leader back, but surprise, the living sibling was their leader. its a convoluted mess  in the background of this mess i found a nice little home for the magic pendant, a story that is literally just my 11th grade spanish project. a guy has a cool magic pendant. some magic dude steals it. the guy and his friend get a magic knife from a magic squirrel and kick magic dudes ass. so magical. i took that and pumped in extra details that made me happy, and now its officially enough of a story to be included  once more to the top. within the world of project four, one of the regions is plagued by a deep rift that scarred the land when scientist daiah’s experiment went horribly wrong. it swallowed several cities and poisoned the people and land around it. the survivors call that area daiah’s shame and send excommunicated criminals there to die as punishment. what they have yet to discover is that the rift is truthfully a tear upon their plane of existence, acting as an opening into an adjacent plane where pure energy resides. the land and people lost in the experiment fell into this other plane perfectly intact, but being that the two planes were never meant to interact in this way, were shortly infected with unknowable ailments. people slowly lost their sanity, their agency, anything that made them who they were. they either became husks or sought violence to distract themselves from their own pain. and the only freedom was to be killed, for time affected nothing in this plane. no one could grow old. the sky never moved. plants absorbed strange air and gnarled into bloated bastardizations  this is the reality that the protagonists of project dark souls ripoff fell into. wayrain had been traveling with a known criminal through daiah’s shame in the hopes of reaching a region beyond it, and his friend cadmor was secretly a member of law enforcement tasked with making sure the criminal died there. when this was revealed, the three fought and all of them stumbled into the rift to be spat out in the desolate climate of the lost region. i was heavily inspired by dark souls in creating all of this, so honestly just imagine the opening scene of whichever dark souls game and you’ve got the idea of it. wayrain and cadmor have to navigate this sickly area that theyve hardly even heard stories of while also dealing with dangerous people, feeling betrayed by one another, and creeping afflictions. much like rin and caforleh, wayrain takes to learning as much as he possibly can about the surroundings and compiling it all into journals. he travels ceaselessly and does his best to uncover every last mystery, from lost libraries to unmarked graves. cadmor battles his imitation morality as he eases into another role of leadership. the two will clash several times but ultimately reconcile before kymoyef shows up to assess the condition of the rift  and project fire girl is kinda out of place because it feels entirely standalone, but its actually the origin of most of this stuff, so im hoping i can find a way to squeeze it in somehow. its about a person who wakes up in a fire with no knowledge of how she got there and wanders around aimlessly dealing with the destructive repercussions of her mysterious fire powers, which she can barely control. i know. its sort of like frozen but with fire. but hey spoiler alert: she’s actually a wizard scientist (you can tell i really like my wizards and scientists) that, alongside her cousin, did awful experiments on people in the name of magic science, imbuing them with different forms of magic just to see what happens. and she gave herself fire powers because why the hell not. but the internal flame was so painful that the trauma of it elicited amnesia. she regains these memories in time by meeting the people plagued by the consequences of her actions. not knowing shes the one that did this to them, they work together with her and carry out a plan to expose the other wizard scientist. in the final confrontation, she admits that she regrets what shes done even if the academic community learned a lot from it, and allows herself to be imprisoned  yeah. like i said, project fire girl was the first narrative in this universe, which came from a dream where she was taken in by an old couple and their adopted daughter and awoke in a bed of bright petals, only to realize that she accidentally set the house on fire in her sleep, killing the whole family. the imagery was so vivid that it stuck with me. project four originated from one of my old minecraft worlds that i unfortunately deleted by mistake and then tried to rebuild. but i couldnt remember what the old build was called so i called it arenos, and that became the first region. once i decided that fire girl was gonna be set in some mountains and that those mountains bordered arenos, i was officially on my way to creating what is now this world. and then more detail happened and kymoyef happened and the concept of the four cities being parallels to the four regions in the world sounded neat but i got carried away and wanted to try to recreate the four cities in minecraft, and only did sorrowstone, so i started to think of what depressing shit went on in that place and wrote a little bit about it  the dark souls ripoff is, of course, a blatant ripoff of dark souls, but its also a combination of A) another neat dream i had that was just two people traveling on horseback through cold morning fog and being ambushed - one was killed and the other crawled to a nearby basement and hid for an eternity, until the landscape had entirely changed hundreds of years later - and B) a totally separate dream where two people were traveling on horseback through cold evening fog, trying to reach some uncertain destination after having to leave their entire lives behind because they were magic. i was like “i’ve just added two more regions to my world. what if this region has a big rift in it - oh, what if this person hid through the rift incident that sent them to an alternate plane - no wait, what if these other characters were traveling through the rift area and fell in?”  project inheritance was first called dark souls ripoff 2 because it deals with souls being portable and consumable and the two siblings have to deal with increasing insatiability for souls to keep themselves alive after having their consciousnesses ripped from their bodies. but this story was originally gonna be a text adventure game with like seven hundred endings (im exaggerating a little) testing your ability to forgive and manage your bloodlust. i know. its like a bootleg undertale. i cant have an original thought even if that thought happened two years before the popular thing happened  thats about it i guess. thats the beginners guide to my utterly incomplete creative endeavors. i have some other ideas that would be neat to pursue but they dont belong in this particular universe as of right now. i might find a way to make them fit. i might not

#i talk about life n stuff #i could talk about any of this FOREVER. or maybe an hour or two. each. i dont have that many ideas cemented yet tbh #the process of making word lasagna

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primadonnatartuffe · 7 years

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RYAN: -tonight is the night ryan would fall off the wagon after spending way too long in a bar singing, fending off offers to buy her drinks as well as her own impulses. but this is what happens when you put yourself in these kinds of locations. it was only a matter of time.-

RYAN: -pain pills are easy enough to come by, and even easier to choke down when you're drunk. a wild evening results in ryan making her usual commute back home, late at night, on her own... making her an easy target for a mugging.-

RYAN: -things get a little hazy after that point. but she remembers seeing jack arrive on the scene before blacking out.-

RYAN: -... and then she woke up, back at the bar where it all began. she snorts awake from a puddle of drool with the bar tender tapping her head and telling her they're closing. she had a half finished drink which apparently made her both sleepy and guilty enough to pass out and have some kind of shitty nightmare. or... something. regardless, it's time to make the trek home, but her mind is still buzzing.-

RYAN: -she's been having an awful lot of realistic dreams lately. way more than she has her entire life. jack seems to play a role in a considerable number of them, but she finds it unsettling in this case. this isn't her idealizing him rescuing her. it's more like... a very plausible thing if he ever saw her getting into trouble in one of his visions. and the idea of that makes her feel incredibly guilty.-

RYAN: -she snaps out of her thoughts long enough to notice she's coming upon the alley from her dream. it would be wise to avoid it, but she wants to prove to herself it was just a dream... it would all be alright, like every other evening. and besides, she'd be on her toes anyway. she can fend for herself. still, her heart races as she turns down that street.-

JACK: -It's a feeling that creeps up his spine and settles with a heavy weight in his mind. Nagging and insistent, Jack knows no rest until he's forced to emerge from his apartment and pace the Skaian streets. He knows this feeling by now, like tuning into a radio station full of scenarios that chill his blood in a terribly familiar way.-

JACK: -He can practically taste the dread in his mouth. His hands feel for a pack tucked into the pocket of his windbreaker until he's fishing out the cig he's searching for. Before too long, Jack has it tucked between his teeth. The tobacco burning in a (failed) hope of stowing off the metallic tang on his tongue.-

JACK: -While his feet carry him down the turns of concrete and crosswalks, images begin to press to the blanket of sightlessness that were his eyes. Taking him an hour, half an hour, moments into the future. Stringlets of fate belonging to complete strangers, they paint Jack's surroundings to perfect clarity. He can See the darkened street where Ryan turns. Her steps hobbled and uncertain, the very opposite of sober.-

JACK: -He also Sees when the three figures depart from the bar, having watched Ryan the whole time she'd spent drinking and then finally leaving on her own. A few seconds of context and clairvoyant observation left Jack knowing their intention. They were faceless, strangers in his visions, except for Ryan. Her face he would recognize anywhere and he realizes... He doesn't have much time to revel in the picturesque details he'd been missing out on.-

JACK: -And so Jack takes a short cut, cutting straight through an alley where he might intercept Ryan on the other side. No need for conflict if he can avoid it. His hand shoots out to catch her at the elbow.- (Ryan.)

RYAN: -as alert as she tries to be, naturally she's glancing around nervously in all directions except the one jack suddenly emerges from. she feels his hand on her, stirring up a yelp and a startled jump.- JESUS FUCK.

RYAN: -her heart beats right out of her chest and it only starts to settle when she recognizes the dimly lit figure beside her.- (jack???)

RYAN: (what are you doing here?) -she doesn't sound entirely clueless, but she asks it all the same.-

JACK: -He can sense the group's balk in the distance as they see his interception of Ryan. But it'll only be a moment, just long enough for Jack to take her by the hand and zip further into the alley.- (No time.)

JACK: -Navigates with surprising finesse for a blind guy. Managing to avoid crates, broken bottles, garbage cans, anything that will cut it close to an encounter with their would-be pursuers. Within a few minutes, Jack is pulling Ryan in... only to duck with her into the archway of a backway door. The locked from the outside kind, probably belonging to the grounded restaurant kitchen beyond. His visions told him as much.-

JACK: -He keeps a hand to her, hushing her while he listened and searched the immediate future. They were certainly out of sight now...-

RYAN: -alright, so much for her calming down. she sputters one last incoherent protest before the pair of them bob and weave through the alley's obstacles. this is all too fucking Real, she thinks, and it certainly doesn't quell her paranoid fears that what she saw was, in some way, her fate.-

RYAN: -they linger in the archway, but the pause does nothing to quiet her racing thoughts or the unpleasant churn of anxiety in her stomach. she looks to jack, leaning into him a little to try to relax and trust that whatever is going on, he's got it under control better than she does. because what the fuck???-

RYAN: -exhales after a moment and turns towards him to hiss a whisper.- (we got time now?)

JACK: -As the prospect of danger fades, so does his pseudo-ability to see. Everything takes to the comfort of pitch black and once again, Jack is left alone with the hush of Ryan's voice in his ear. The smell of booze is on her breath, the same way the cigarette smell must be clinging to his own clothes.-

JACK: -his hand releases her and finds its way to her shoulder, squeezing at her in a way he hopes is reassuring.- Yes.

JACK: We'll give it another minute or two. -talks as if they're avoiding something like a sudden bout of rain instead of... what just could have been.-

RYAN: alright. -she fidgets, but manages to collect herself as quiet returns between them. there are things she'd like to say that she isn't sure how.-

RYAN: ... jack? i uh...

RYAN: -sighs- there were guys following me. right?

JACK: -There's no point in lying... but he doesn't like the tension in her voice either. Despite everything, he would still prefer not to take it as what it could have been but rather what it is now. Ryan, safe because of his own intervention. He would count his lucky stars if he could.-

JACK: There were.

JACK: But safe to say, they're gone now. -blinks and kind of registers their proximity of one another. Crossing his arms, Jack turns to lean back against the door instead, lining her shoulder up by his own.- Lucky break.

RYAN: ... i knew about them.

RYAN: but i didnt think it would actually happen.

RYAN: i mean... fuck. -runs a hand through her hair.- how do i put this?

RYAN: -she turns her head to look at him again, confused and scared, but if anyone would understand, it had to be him... right?- i keep having these dreams. theyre always about me... things that happen to me. and they feel so real. but they never... theyve never happened.

RYAN: i saw those guys coming after me. but even in that dream it was different.

RYAN: ... i dunno. maybe its just a coincidence. im basically a sitting duck walking out here on my own.

JACK: Not always, you know. Just this one time. -gently nudges her with an elbow. He can't see how confused and fearful her expression is, but he can certainly hear it in her words. Jack opts to keep a cool head.- When did you have this dream.

RYAN: -scoffs and nudges him back.- just earlier today.

RYAN: at the bar.

RYAN: ... after i drank a little.

RYAN: i guess i fell asleep.

JACK: -falls quiet and thoughtful at that, focusing on the circumstance. It was unique to say the least and one he couldn't help but identify with.- Is this a recent thing? You say dreams in the plural sense of the word.

RYAN: -nods slowly- yeah. for the past... month or so?

RYAN: theyre usually about... shit like this.

RYAN: me making poor decisions or getting into trouble or...

RYAN: uhh... -glances off, flustered when she remembers the bulk of the things she dreams about. whoops.- mostly just that.

JACK: -strokes a thumb at his chin, nodding. Ohhh if he knew what she was thinking.- It's interesting.

JACK: But something you can't expect to know the ins and outs of right away.

JACK: I would suggest you take it with a grain of salt. Maybe... -drops the cane from his sylladex, weighing it in one hand for a moment.- Try not to tempt fate so often.

JACK: The dreams are there for a reason.

RYAN: mrgg. well that much is obvious to me. -rubs at her head, feeling annoyed with herself when she reflects back on all these potential disasters she's gotten herself into. but of course, not everything she dreams about is regrettable.-

RYAN: sometimes thats easier said than done.

RYAN: but hey. im trying to be wiser.

RYAN: -glances down at the ground, then loops her arm with his.- youre walking home with me of course.

JACK: I can't see an instance where I don't. -ba dum tshh. He's glad to take her arm in his and takes the lead out of the alley way. Truly homefree.- I don't suppose you mean my home. Or yours.

RYAN: -HOME IS WHEREVER I'M WITH YOOOOUUU.-

RYAN: well... technically were closer to my place from here but.

RYAN: i think id rather crash with you. if thats alright.

JACK: I won't oppose you... -when it comes time for them to take that street turn, Jack leads them on.- But on a more serious note.

JACK: I'm also going to suggest you stay away from the kareoke bars a while.

JACK: It's... not an easy thing. Relapsing. -squeezes at her wrist a little. As if reminding.-

RYAN: yeah... -as he squeezes her wrist, she finds herself drifting closer to him, brushing elbows.-

RYAN: guess thatd count as making wiser decisions.

RYAN: -she quiets, her train of thought bringing her away from him again, though she keeps her hand on his arm.- im... sorry jack.

JACK: -a smile quirks on his face as their elbows brush.- No need to be.

JACK: I was here this time. I'd say if anything, this night turned out well. It's what's real and it's what matters.

RYAN: -that answer surprises her a little, but it's a relief.- i guess so...

RYAN: i just dont wanna worry you. that you gotta hunt me down like that.

RYAN: im... trying.

JACK: If anyone knows how hard you're trying, it's me. -says, squeezing at her knuckles now.- And I won't worry either.

JACK: I can put off pre-mature grays for only so long.

RYAN: -that makes her smile and she returns to leaning against him, taking his hand up in hers just to squeeze back.- fair.

RYAN: i can rest assured knowing youre gonna look good gray too. -snickers-

JACK: You know for a fact? -sounds bemused-

JACK: I don't suppose your dreams tell you as much.

RYAN: i mean its hard to go wrong.

RYAN: youre somehow pulling off this disheveled gives no fucks look after all. -ruffles his hair with her free hand.-

JACK: Thank you. -smiles, glad for the hair mussings.-

JACK: The secret is forgetting that combs exist from time to time. At least twice a week.

RYAN: oh yeah. at the very least. id be surprised if you even own one anymore. -the closer they get to jack's place, the more her heart rate quickens. she worries if this is real, and if she's going to do something she shouldn't again. it's only a matter of time before that becomes a reality too, isn't it? she tries to tell herself it's probably in her head, but it doesn't stop the anxiety.-

RYAN: ... by the way thanks for letting me stay with you so often. i know neither of you would wanna turn me away but you know. i appreciate being welcome all the time. -shrugs a little.-

JACK: -It's just like Ryan to shrug off an honest sentiment. So the blind guy leads the buzzed girl up the stairs and it goes about as well as one expects. He nods, holding her hand and feeling up the stair rails with the free hand.-

JACK: If it was your house, you would be doing the same for me. -touches the first door but it's obviously not their house. He guides Ryan all the way to the third. He begins fiddling with his keys to get the door unlocked.- I personally enjoy having space to my own.

JACK: No moms or dads staying up late to make sure I'm home in one piece. I appreciate their concern but nine times out of ten, I'm perfectly fine. -rambles the whole way into the house. Predictably, Audrey the pitbull greets them with a sniff and a boop of her nose at their hands. Oh yeah. Jack should probably release that now.-

RYAN: -NEVER. but it's alright, her hands are now occupied giving this pup pets.- tell me about it...

RYAN: one of these days ill have my own place again. or i can room with someone i guess. since russet suggested it i kinda feel compelled to resist it with all my being.

RYAN: plus i just... ya know. dont wanna burden anybody until im in a better place.

RYAN: ... but then again i guess im kinda doing that already without necessarily burdening anybody so hey.

RYAN: not that im suggesting i room with yall but uh yeah thats just where my train of thought took me.

RYAN: ... -wanders inside, but she's lingering a little awkwardly like she isn't sure if she wants to sit or not.-

JACK: All the couch needs is a plaque with your name on it. -He doesn't seem to mind that she lingers, shuffling off for his kitchen like he is. After a few minutes and from the smell of it, Jack is making himself a mug of hot chocolate.- I know Sage would like the prospect of extended sleepovers.

RYAN: -belatedly decides to hover, joining him in the kitchen.- heh. without a doubt.

RYAN: hey... make me one. -prods at him.-

JACK: -lets her have this drink he's already done preparing.- Fine. -gets to making himself another. Feeling around a cabinet for another mug.-

JACK: I think you should consider a roommate though. It's a system that works wonders on Sage and I. Hell.

JACK: It's best if you can find someone you can fuss at the same way they fuss at you. That way you don't feel like it's a burdening dynamic. It's how it works for us.

RYAN: -scoffs...- oh wait youre serious.

RYAN: i dunno if i know anyone that i can fuss at. pretty much everyone i know has their shit together waaay more than i do. -sips the chocolate as she leans against a counter and thinks about this.-

JACK: It helps not to make those assumptions. -stirs the powder into the hot water with a spoon.- But again.

JACK: Just an idea.

RYAN: :P

RYAN: its something to consider i guess. maybe ill get lucky. or however that works.

JACK: You could ask your dreams about it. -licks the spoon, tapping it at his mouth in contemplation.- Another hypothetical thought.

RYAN: yeah right. maybe if i want some insight on the worst candidates for the position since so far theyve only been good for warning me not to be a complete dunderfuck.

RYAN: or to be like prepared.

RYAN: for things.

RYAN: that some people apparently arent prepared for.

RYAN: since theyre not all bad dreams so. i dunno maybe youre onto something. -STOP WHILE YOU STILL CAN RYAN. she squints at her mug and takes a generous gulp.-

JACK: So if they're not bad, they must be good. -sips his own mug, elbow leaned back against the counter.- I say you give it a try.

RYAN: guess it cant hurt!

RYAN: -she's feeling flustered all over again now that they're back to this subject. she wonders if it's something she should address, or if that would be an even worse decision. maybe she can be subtle about it.-

RYAN: heeeeeeey. actually while were still talking about my whacky dream shenanigans...

RYAN: so some of them arent exactly bad... sure... maybe they are actually really good!

RYAN: but what if they arent? i mean if the running theme of every other dream is something i shouldnt do then maybe these good dreams could be categorized as the same thing.

RYAN: and even if they ARENT then what DO they mean? since as you said they mean SOMETHING...

JACK: -fishes out a marshmallow before answering.- Tough question but it's a good one to ask.

JACK: From my perspective, the visions manifest as... often worst-case scenarios. What would happen if I don't do "x". But your dreams? You can't say they're the same thing.

JACK: Maybe it's not inherently about good or bad but rather your decisions. And what comes out of them. That make sense?

RYAN: -turns the mug in her hand.- when you put it like that... yeah. it does. -baccia said more or less the same thing, but it still raises some questions.-

RYAN: but i guess in this case im not sure... what would come out of it... if i did wind up doing those things. and thats why im wary of it.

RYAN: cuz it could be great. or it could totally set u-- uhh. me... up for disaster and its...

RYAN: -glances down at the hot chocolate.- its something i really wouldnt wanna fuck up.

JACK: Hmmm. Well.

JACK: Great or not, I guess... just like with most major, uncertain decisions.

JACK: You would have to make a gamble on whether it's worth going through with or not. Not that I'm the best candidate to offer such advice. -snorts a little into his drink.- But the possibilities still stand.

RYAN: -quiets, shuffling her feet and letting all this rattle around in her head. then she shuffles her feet over to him, standing shoulder to shoulder again.-

RYAN: ...

RYAN: theyre sex dreams.

RYAN: a metric fuck ton of sex dreams.

RYAN: aboutttttt... yooouuu?

JACK: -He can physically hear the record scratch in his head as he takes a long hard gulp of hot chocolate. Scalding his mouth and leaving him to stifle the wheeze. He deserved this.- Mgh. Ghhhhf.

JACK: -SWALLOWS.- Metric fuck ton.

JACK: Of... chronologically probable sex dreams. -Has to repeat it to make sure he's hearing this right.-

RYAN: yeeeeeup.

RYAN: im only kind of exaggerating. hahaha.

RYAN: oh god.

RYAN: -hello darkness my old friend...-

JACK: -stands there with his mug like mmmmmmmygod.- "Kind of". -clears his throat and shakes his head.-

JACK: How often do they occur before you have to qualify something as "a metric fuck ton"? -He's almost afraid to ask but well. Here he is. Staring into the void.-

RYAN: like... i dunno... about as often as i stay over???

RYAN: i say... after deciding to stay over.

RYAN: fuck.

JACK: Well. That...

JACK: ... -ends up holding his chin just to grasp the gravity of all that she's implying.-

JACK: Certainly... puts things into perspective.

RYAN: lmaoooo.

RYAN: yeah i... okay im not just bringing this up so we can be collectively ashamed of ourselves.

RYAN: i figure... if all these dreams are about my decisions and shit then im DECIDING to talk about it instead of jumping your bones. or waiting for you to jump my bones. or for both of us to jump at each other at the same time.

RYAN: ... -puts her head in her hand and SIGHS- not that those details matter... or i guess maybe they do if these are things that actually couldve happened.

RYAN: cuz that means... it isnt just me...?

JACK: -he gnaws absently on his thumb as she rambles. Picturing all the times he shuffled around, debating. Knowing he wasn't going to go through with it but wanting to. Fantasizing?? Even just remembering was bringing some sweat to his forehead.- ...Christ.

JACK: It's... a pickle. To say the least. -chews his thumb.- Sorry.

JACK: I'm probably not much help with this. -wheezes gently.-

RYAN: -frowns- you could be though?

RYAN: like clearly theres an elephant in the room we should be addressing.

RYAN: or!! its something i want to address.

RYAN: because it sucks just sitting on how im feeling. and i know i suck at talking about it. but i wanna try to be better at that too.

RYAN: especially... especially with you.

JACK: -takes a deep breath... ultimately nodding. He runs his hand through his hair.- Yeah.

JACK: You're right. It's just...

JACK: God. -brings a hand and runs it down his face.- It's fucking insane. -says muffled.-

JACK: Sometimes... fantasies oughta stay fantasies, huh? -drops his hands back down to his sides.- Sheesh.

RYAN: ... maybe.

RYAN: but why is it... on our minds in the first place? and so frequently???

RYAN: its not... mmrg.

RYAN: its not just a fantasy for me. its not just about fucking around. okay?

JACK: -he sobers up a little, unsure of himself but dammit. Wanting to give talking it through a try.- I know. That's not what I meant.

JACK: I just...

JACK: Thought it was a safe thing.

JACK: Letting myself be indecisive.

JACK: You know it never works out if we think too much so... often times it's just about the feelings. -He doesn't know what he's saying but whatever it is, Jack is sure it was making him sound like a thoughtless dick. The shame is starting to catch up now that he thinks about it.-

RYAN: -winces and turns away from him, setting the mug down on the counter to use the mindless action as an excuse to process this. it's definitely a little frustrating, but even moreso when she doesn't really understand.- what do you mean... a safe thing?

JACK: -rubs his head in frustration and sighs.- Do you ever see me turning away? In these visions?

JACK: Dreams. Sorry.

RYAN: ... no. i dont.

JACK: -drums his fingers a little bit.- Well, logically speaking.

JACK: It's not just your own desires that are inducing the decisions behind the dreams. And you're not selfish or crazy for having them.

RYAN: -folds her arms, hugging herself while her stomach does all sorts of acrobatic stunts.- okay so... then what???

RYAN: thats what i wanna know.

RYAN: if youre feeling the same way i am... i just want to figure out what i should do about it.

RYAN: what... we should do about it.

JACK: I don't... have that answer. I don't See what happens if we go through with.... these hypothetical scenarios.

JACK: It's not disastrous? You've never been disastrous. -makes a vague gesture. It seems kind of wistful.- You've always been...

JACK: Just you. A person.

JACK: Reaching for the good as much as anyone else.

RYAN: -looks at him again, expression softening.- ... well. since neither of us knows where things would go...

RYAN: maybe a better question is... what do we want to do about it?

JACK: -He has to consider everything in front of him now. It was like living through a dose of ice cold deja vu. Ryan, their relationship, the past, the future... In these few moments, Jack is quiet. The conflict warring on his face, despite being unable to see her. If only he had the reassurance of her expression, then he'd be able to make sense of all the blank spaces.-

JACK: You're always so close. -begins carefully, his blind eyes worried.- It seems... inevitable. No matter what we do. How hard we try.

RYAN: -swallows dryly as she turns to face him and reaches to touch his arm, gentle and reassuring in the absence of the look on her face.- are you scared?

JACK: -as she touches him, he releases the breath he didnt know he was holding.- Always.

JACK: You know me.

RYAN: -her hand travels up along his shoulder till she's coiling her arms around him, pulling him into a hug.- yeah.

RYAN: me too.

RYAN: maybe we can be... scared together?

RYAN: im not trying to say that we need to have it all figured out right now...

RYAN: i just dont wanna... run away from this. i dont wanna do that kinda thing anymore jackie.

JACK: -hardly resists her embrace. In fact, he coils into it. Burying himself against her shoulder and holding her tight.- I know...

JACK: But habits are hard to put to rest. And it's hard trying to...

JACK: Tell myself that I'm ready. And that I won't catch myself in the same cycle as before. I've spent so long trying to break from it. But is it enough?

JACK: -He nuzzles her.- I have no fucking clue.

RYAN: -laughs a little, returning the nuzzles.- well fuck. im right there with you.

RYAN: im not gonna be reckless about it though and say i dont give a fuck?? cuz i do. like...

RYAN: i wanna be more aware of my own bullshit.

RYAN: but i feel like its been easier... cuz ive had help. and ive let people help. i never did before.

RYAN: -squeezes him a little tighter.- i think we can help each other too. youre already doing that for me...

JACK: -Hugs her so tight, he lifts her a little bit. The stronk hobo that he is.- Yeah...

JACK: -And with that, he turns and presses a kiss to her cheek.- I just.

JACK: Love you. Somewhere in all this fuckery of a mess. I do.

RYAN: -her cheeks warm at the contact, butterflies fluttering all around her stomach and chest, inspiring more laughter and the threat of tears.- i love you too. i never fucking stopped.

RYAN: -returns the kiss, and then once more. leaving behind lipstick stains he unfortunately won't be able to discover later, but they're there all the same.-

JACK: -It's hard being on the receiving end of Ryan kisses. It's hard and nobody understands that when you receive one, you had to receive more. And so Jack leans, bringing a hand to her hair, the back of her head. Angling her chin up so he can press a soft sweet kiss to her lips.-

RYAN: -chills run up and down her spine, an elating warmth settling over her skin when it passes. her hands clasp at his hair, interlocking with messy strands to give her a grip while she returns this kiss too, deepening it with the tilt of her head.-

JACK: -The velvety soft of her kiss was like everything Jack remembered... but in real time. No longer clouded by memory or the passing of time. It was a crystal clear, high definition of Ryan Strider brand kisses. Tinted by the taste of hot chocolate, he knew each time his lips energetically plucked the kisses from hers.-

JACK: Fuck it all... -says while humming with satisfaction, the more she carded fingers through his hair.-

RYAN: thats what i like to hear. -the shape of her lips form a wide smile against his, but that alone couldn't even express her joy. her hands move to frame his face instead for her to look him over. scruffy as he is, he's still the most handsome man she's ever laid eyes on, and it feels good to admire this without guilt.-

RYAN: hey jack... its really getting late. shouldnt we think about lying down?

JACK: Late for you maybe. The wicked know no sleep. -he smiles, exhaling with relief and the buzz of warmth in his cheeks. He fiddles with more of her downy soft hair between his fingers.- But I guess I could lie in wait for a while.

RYAN: -snickers at his jokes, nudging into his touch.- alright edward. come on. -captures his hand in hers so she can escort him to his own bedroom. she's visited it enough in her dreams to know every step like the back of her hand. when she passes through the door, she's pulling him in for more kisses, as if she had been waiting another lifetime for them, rather than only a few moments.-

JACK: -follows her kisses into well... His bedroom. He knew the direction and he was conscious of how bold she was for leading the way. The truth was really shedding some light on the situation. Holy moly.- Make yourself at home. -mutters, squeezing at her hands and stealing more precious pecks. The door is closing behind them.-

RYAN: i always do. -guides him to the bed, slowly seating herself and tugging him along with her continued insistence. side by side, she pauses to run her hands over his shoulders, studying his frame as if testing the solidity of him. the reality of him.-

RYAN: im not dreaming again am i?

JACK: I guess we'll find out tomorrow when you wake up. -for all his griping, he stifles a yawn. Relaxing under the hands that run by his shoulders. One of his own thumb comes to lightly stroke her chin. Coaxing her to relax.-

RYAN: ... yeah. alright. -she's torn between the anxiety to stay awake with him, to savor every moment of this, and getting rest to test out the theory that in the morning they'll actually wake up together. but ultimately, his touch has her lying back against the pillows and sheets, beckoning him to follow.-

JACK: -Here he comes. Rolling into bed and feeling around for a way to get comfortable. Preferably with Ryan gathered up in his arms.-

RYAN: -she helps him out, fitting herself against the shape of him, juxtaposed with her back to his front. and with his arms around her, she can finally start to relax.-

#invincibleDetective #in which I just love you

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