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#Sorry for not being on. Ik i said low activity but i still feel bad šŸ’€āœ‹ļø
lunarnoire Ā· 25 days
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survivormetaverse Ā· 3 years
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Episode 4 -Ā "Now the fun part begins" ~Colin
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All I gotta say....finesse
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Look at us goāœØ I say us because if I say me that sounds conceited even tho it was literally a hero challenge šŸ˜‚. [HI THIS WAS BURIED IN MY TABS IT'S FROM ROUND 3 I WAS PROBS GONNA WRITE MORE BUT OH WELL]
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We tribe swapped and I was really stressed at first because now im on the tribe that loses all of the challenges. But its fine bcs im friends with everyone now and im in an alliance with Ginny and Amy. I also love Danny he is literally under the influence rn im exposing him. But hopefully when hws sober he remembers how cool i am and we will work together. And Jennifer is on my tribe and we're friendly with each other. But honestly it would be in my best game interests to have her the one voted out. If it comes to that. Bcs Im literally working with everyone and shes pretty inactive.
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Welp. Here we are. Swapped. It's a lil fucked up but I saw it coming. So I got stuck with Brayden which is like whatever to me, I'm glad him and I talked enough on original phantoms. But the issue is that it's just him and myself. Along with that its the two S.E.E.S. and one Fool. So I immediately swooped in on Jared, I tried to be relatable with him by talking about Danny and Shaad, who I know, and I think gthat brought him comfort. I spilled to Jared that Danny and Shaad know each other to show him that I have info and I'm willing to be open about stuff and talk with him straight up. We got to talking, and we declared that we want to work together WHICH IS GREAT!! Idk how much I can trust him, but if I show him loyalty and openness I think I'd get it back from him which is clutch. I need him to be the third with Brayden and myself, but I'm sure Jay and Elle are thinking the exact same thing. That's why I swooped in so fast, and I'm sure he'll tell them what they want to hear and theres a chance hes doing that to me as well (and I don't blame him, make your own decisions Jared king), but I need to show him that sticking with me is the better option. Idk idk I'm just trying to avoid playing my idol rn. I'll keep working on Jared, and I'll see what Brayden's been up to. ALSOOO APPARENTLY so Brayden tells me that him and Elle played together (which I knew), but he voted them out so idk how their dynamic is. Lots to think about, I guess now I actually do want to win immunity because I don't feel as secure as I did on original phantoms. But I def have Brayden on my side, and I'm really hoping Jared is truly gonna ride with me. Idols/advantages are also a potential problem here because what if Elle or Jay have one. I hope Brayden is just lying to me and he secretly has something too. I almost told him about mine but I decided against it. Much to think about, much to do, much to win.
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I got an idolllllāœØ lol so glad i signed up because no one else from my tribe did so it was super easy šŸ˜„ Tribe swap!! Sad bc i'll miss Colin šŸ˜” real homie right there um i mean sure others too maybe lol I switched with Jay so no worries there and Anastasia I'm sorry to say we've never really clicked like we've worked together before (and she's backstabbed me before) but we've never really been like *this* y'know??? And Babs and Jennifer I barely talked to Babs likes musical theater and vine references tho so she's cool B) Anywayssss Dennis knows the pain of being a Starbucks barista and I was with Jared in the shape memory and felt bad for them oof so yeah OH! and Brayden helped vote me out in Kyoshi after saying he wouldn't vote for me... Dont Love That but also it was kinda a hopeless situation in Kyoshi kinda tragicccc for me funnily enough I was tribe swap screwed over but that's not like this time (if it is I will SCREAM but also I'm chill with whatever place I get in this game so eh) yeah i kinda made myself stop drinking caffeine/copious amounts of sugar for a year and then started back at Starbucks and immediately broke soooo I have no idea how coherent this is I think we'll do well in the challenge!! It's scavenger hunt but also I am working this weekend :( hate that for me ik me too boo so we'll see how much I can do I remember being upset at myself in prev. seasons because I went too hard in challenges and I feel like in this one I just don't have the time to šŸ˜‚ the way to get priorities is to get a life apparently lol kidding but also am I??? Idk kinda forgot what I was talking about. Yay in the Phantom tribe now and we will crush this challengeāœØ
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This tribe is getting on my nerves. 2 of them are super nice and I'd love to work with them but I don't know how the pre-alliances worked before this tribe. I really enjoy Amy and Anastasia but trying to talk to Ginnifer is like pulling teeth and Jennifer still hasn't said....anything.
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https://youtu.be/maj4CRLrsjQ sorry this is really long i didnt mean to
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My tribe is going to council.
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At first, I thought I was SCREWED because I got neither Amy, Dennis, or Brayden from my OG tribe for the swap. I barely spoke to Josh, but at least he tries in challenges and we have that going for us. I absolutely adore Colin, he's experienced and he doesn't hide it, but here's a good support system and I see why he goes far in these games. By virtue of me being active, I can hopefully stay alive from this swap. As for the challenge, it's incredibly difficult to do since only the 3 of us are actively doing it, and with 3 slots, it means everyone has to do everything, which is virtually impossible. Shaad complained about his old tribe but a lot of his tribemates' confessionals about him were about him being inactive, and I'm definitely seeing it. Babs hasn't even accepted my message request yet. I absolutely trust Colin and I'm debatable with Josh, but I sure hope that he's not working with Shaad and Babs. But I'm 99% sure that's not the case because even Colin hasn't talked to Babs much and they haven't even been accepting message requests. I absolutely think we're headed to tribal, but honestly, that might be fine because it'll save my other allies in the other tribes. I just hate going to tribal council because it's never fun and it makes me nervous. Every time. But hopefully my social relationships I've made will get me through this swap even if I have to (at last, I guess) go to tribal council.Ā 
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https://youtu.be/FJOPBi8cnBk
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The swap is fun so far doing a fun and hilarious scavenger hunt but yuck my face is sticky blechĀ 
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Okay I think I figured out a lot. I think all the idols are on my tribe. The way Jared and Jay talk to me shows me that theyre smart players and I realllllly think they both have idols. And the three of us are just dancing around that subject. So if we go to tribal, I have to move very cautiously and thats why im trying to get another advantage. I think Jay is going for it too, homeboy messages me in 10 minute intervals. I think I can only afford going to tribal once with this tribe, I'm just hoping we win out especially if all the idols are chilling here I don't want to play it yet. Ima just keep hunting i dont have a lot of thoughts rn.
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I'm not sure where I'm at. I feel decent about elle, she has familiarity with me, it should be convenient for her and I to stay together. I do like Jared too...the hope is that he links up with us and we can take out Brayden. Nothing personal against Brayden, but I like Dennis more, and I feel like I can work with Dennis in a merge scenario. If we can get Brayden out whenever we go to tribal, I'll also be put in a scenario at that point where I can either go with Jared and Elle, or maybe Jared and Dennis. Dennis seems very low key and more social than strategic, so he's a good person to play with for a decent amount of time.Ā 
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Uh idr my last confessional or when it was :( we just did the scavenger hunt challenge and are waiting for results and i really hope we don't have to go to tribal bc what a crappy birthday present that'd be!! Bc my birthday is tomorrow :)))))) I hope people remember bc I'm not going to say anything šŸ˜¶ just to see who remembereddddd probs no one and ill break midday or maybe I'll leave it alone who knows! I'm going on a picnic tomorrow tho and then probs celebrating with fam so it'd be a bad day for a tribal :( OMG what if I got voted out on My Birthday that'd be so r00d but like kinda iconic too very memorable 21st brithday the one where I was voted out Metaverse... anyways uh hope we win this challenge lol šŸ˜…
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Okay so it's cute and all that we won but Miss Jennifer needs to go ASAP. I low-key wanted to go to tribal just so I could let her GO, but it's whatever. I get a day to chill finally. I don't have to think as hard anymore. I feel good.
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I think the thing I am very interested in seeing is what's about to happen with Shaad in that tribe.
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But also, I really love Amy. I think she's really gonna be good for me.
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okay i've been slacking on confessionals so im gonna pretend this is like 2 days ago and make one solely about the swap AHHH TRIBE SWAP i'm kinda excited that none of my alliance members are on my new tribe. that seems opposite but its gonna give me a better chance to branch out and make new connections, then when merge hits rekindle the old alliance that existed pre swap. hopefully that all pans out!! immediately I started vibing with Jodi. she's an absolute QUEEN and we match each other's energies perfectly. we've been shading others in the tribe, joking around, connecting personally, it's been great!! honestly i knew within like the first 20 mins I wanted to duo with her and be a f2. the rest of the tribe however? sheeeeesh babs and shaad are very inactive. apparently shaad blew up on his last tribe bc they almost voted him out... for being inactive? like sir if the shoe fits. pls fix it. babs is going THRU it and I feel for them. but... just say somethin josh is kind of a king. jodi likes him. he's putting in a lot of effort and I appreciate that. not sure if it makes him a threat but it definitely makes him an asset SO I approached both of them with an alliance!! and it worked!! i now have ANOTHER alliance woo!! with josh and jodi!! woo!! here's part of my host chat rambling bc I confess way more there than I do here i think Jodi and Josh might be like a duo tho the way Jodi talks about is kinda sus imma need to weasel my way in maybe I'll suggest a trio alliance as the most 'active' people on the tribe as a means to get close to them, then I'll use that to secure a f2 with jodi jodi radiates the same type of chaotic energy I do in games but she gets more bored than I do which is not good but more fun
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we LOST but im not SURPRISED i feel like we shouldve won SOLELY bc I got SANDRA DIAZ-TWINE to send me a selfie. that's fucking iconic. one of my proudest org career moments. anyway now the fun part begins. gotta decide who goes. it's either shaad or babs. I think the easiest and most common sense thing to do is vote babs because they've been more inactive. but also its the first live tribal and I think shaad will give drama if we vote him off. and that makes GOOD FUCKING TV. so idk. options options. we'll see!
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holy shit phantoms won immunity. phantoms stays the winning tribe 4 times in a row holy shit. i actually wanted to win this time and put a lot of effort into this because no ma'am i need safety rn and work on these relationships. just need time. speaking of time, im about to hit hour 12 of the endurance hunt and im starting to feel like a madman. but babyyyyy i want another advantage and hopefully another fucking idol holy shit can you imagine???? i still haven't told anyone and my lips are gonna remain sealed. however i still think that yall are messy and set up my tribe where u knew brayden and i werent super close and from what ive gathered jay and elle weren't close either. so u put the two pairs that arent close with the one fool. okay so what else could we possibly have in common on this tribe to add more mess? IDOLS!!!!! like the three people that got the idols got swapped onto the same tribe like that has to be it. so jared would have to have one, even though he told me he didnt but the way he talked to me about idols in general literally makes me feel like he has one. i was like it would be so nice to have a little bit of security and hes like yeah i know what you mean. like bro just tell me u got a fuckin idol already. so then jay or elle have to have one. and i am convinced jay has one. maybe elle is gonna gag me with her idol but im gonna assume its jay. jared has spoken with him, and i have spoken with him. the three of us feel really good with each other (but im pretty sure jared has me above him bc i got to him first). we'll probs make an alliance chat shortly. i recognize that jared and jay are good at the strategic part of the game and are really smart and just good overall competitors and ESPECIALLY if they have idols that makes them even more dangerous. so i have to work with them than against them i have to make sure that they know i have them above everyone else. i think three strong players naturally gravitated towards eachother and if we really all do have idols its so funny that we're not telling each other. but im slowly but surely working on getting it out of them but if theyre as smart as i think they are they wont tell me. im just gonna continue being "transparent" with them and we'll see where it goes i hope they dont catch on. also jays a fucking liar because we were on a call today and i asked him if he did any hunts. he gave me a pause and then slurred his speech when he said "i haven't done any" like broooooooo ur fuckin lying to me right through your teeth. im convinced hes doing this one because he was up early for some breakfast and his lil skype thing showed online status allllll day like i gotta assume hes doing it. even if he didnt do the first three like hes def doing the last three dont play dumb with me!!!! i am not the one baby. but actually as im writing this hes not online anymore so if he really was doing it maybe he stopped? so if he was up early i would assume he started at 7 or 8 and ending by 9:30 he did 13 or 14 hours? idk im literally going till i cant stay up anymore ive already hit the 12 hours mark now if i went this long i have to go for the w likeee i have to. thats all i got for ya right now dont ever ask me for anything again.
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no joke my brain is melting pls help
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i want a survivor wiki page :(
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During challenge: https://youtu.be/IsGPtYtgnQ4 After challenge results: https://youtu.be/CgmLGWBvEhw
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https://youtu.be/Yfsh_odV-Zg
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The tribe swap really confused me. I was finally getting the hang of this game but now I'm doubting myself again. I also haven't been active much for the past 2 days and I think my tribe mates have noticed. I need to stay on top of things better if I don't want to (eventually) get voted out.
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That this tribe swap screwed me over. It left me with Babs whos been completely inactive and Shaad whos been completely useless. At least I gained an alliance with Jodi and Colin but this is fucking pitiful.
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https://youtu.be/pE207b8VRFE
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can't wait to vote out jared and jay once jury starts
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So I had planned on doing hourly milestone activities like calling a friend at 15 hours, eating ice cream at 16 hours etc and I was filming it to vlog the evening for my confessionals.. but my mom called me around 10:55 for a family emergency and when it was done it was 11:01 and my alarm got overridden by the call. Thatā€™s how I dropped and Iā€™m really sad šŸ˜” i low key donā€™t wanna play the game today but I literally have tribal so I have to stay online, even tho Iā€™d still be more active than babs and shaad ā˜ ļø I wanted this one so bad because the only thing Iā€™m good at is not sleeping. Whoever went longer than 15.5 hours is now at the top of my hitlist, if I find out you also tried this hard for an advantage, I will take u out w my army. Even if itā€™s a superidol. The only good thing from this L is it ignited a huge motivator for me to play this game hard again (but not too hard) but have a goal and mission to complete.Ā 
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https://youtu.be/PR8XWvdH-Hc
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update: i think Amy has it. I'll ask her about it at the merge, she won the 24 hour comp in her last org so it's very possible she gunned this advantage out. if she tells me she has it, then i know I'm absolutely her #1, if not, then we'll see what happens .....Ā 
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Edgic:
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Power Rankings:
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Phantom
Jared: He has done well to place himself firmly in the middle of his tribe. The two sides are definitely going by tribal lines at the moment which makes him the most powerful person on the tribe. Everyone wants to work with him. He will definitely be safe if his tribe has to go to tribal council soon.
Jay: This comes as a surprise, but Jay has bonded well with Jared. So much so that Jared listed Jay as the person he trusts the most currently on his tribe. This gives the S.E.E.S. side a bit more longevity on this tribe which is definitely in Jayā€™s interest. I can see Jared and Jay forming a tight duo.
Dennis: He is definitely in a better spot than he was on his last tribe. No one on this tribe has explicitly said they distrust or want to target Dennis. Heā€™s playing it safe which is good. He lands himself higher than Elle because Jared seems to trust him more. If the decision was between Dennis and Elle, he would be the one safe. Additionally, heā€™s also sniffed out that the idols are all on this tribe (which is just a coincidence). However, he believes that Jay has it rather than Elle which is an unfortunate guess from him. However, what is excellent game sense is that he wants to form an alliance with Jay and Jared which could definitely benefit him in the long run when he needs to separate himself from his Phantoms.
Elle: It is sad to see Elle near the bottom, but it doesnā€™t seem like they have won anyone over with their charm on this tribe. Everyone besides Jay sees Elle as someone expendable if this tribe were to go to two consecutive tribal councils. On the plus side, Elle has an idol. If it comes to that, she may be able to keep herself safe.
Brayden: For some reason, no one except Dennis trusts Brayden. In fact, I would not be surprised if Jared, Jay, and Elle came to the consensus that he should be the one to go out of the two Phantoms. Braydenā€™s unwillingness to work with Dennis rears its ugly head as, even now, Brayden wants to distance himself from Dennis. He seems to believe that he is good with Jay and Jared when both parties have listed him on the bottom of their trust rankings. If Brayden is not careful, he is going to find himself blindsided and voted out premerge in this game.
Fools
Danny: Amy and Anastasia want to keep Danny in spite of their alliance with Ginny. It feels as if both of them want to work closely with him AND want to ditch that alliance. Danny easily has the most control as he has key allies that are willing to go to bat for him if things get messy. I even believe that he would be saved rather than Ginny if this tribe were to go to tribal council consecutively.
Anastasia: Her prior connection with Ginny has instantly landed her in an alliance with Amy despite the fact she doesnā€™t even know Amy like that. In fact, Anastasia doesnā€™t even trust Amy that much, but is still willing to work with her and pretend to be allies. Additionally, she has gotten into the good graces of Danny for whom she is trying to work closely with. Anastasia is the most connected with Danny which means she is the safest out of the group. However, Amy sees right through the veneer which means that Anastasia could be labelled as a big threat and be subsequently taken out at the early stages of merge. It was definitely a mistake to inform Amy about their prior connection with Elle.
Amy: What lands Amy here is that Anastasia doesnā€™t trust her. I was surprised too, but, looking at it, Anastasia would cut Amy over Ginnifer. What puts her above Ginnifer is her activity, however. Hopefully Amy can gain more trust with Danny and Anastasia and be safer in the future. Amy has a good read on Anastasia which keeps her in this position as well. She knows exactly what she needs to do to survive this tribe with the necessary numbers, but can she do it?
Ginnifer: I believe Ginnifer made a misstep by creating an alliance with Anastasia and Amy. At least for Amy, she doesnā€™t know how to feel considering Ginny never mentioned the alliance and just put them in it. It may have been a bit too presumptuous which leads to hesitation and distrust with the people she wants to ally with. Finally, Danny was also annoyed by Ginny being inactive near the start of the challenge which lowers her overall safety at tribal council
Jennifer: Where is Jennifer San Diego? Her inactivity and unhelpfulness in the challenge makes her the easiest target. Thereā€™s not much to say except if she doesnā€™t pick it up soon and socialize, she will be sitting in the VL.
S.E.E.S.
Jodi: Once again, Jodi has emerged as the tribe leader. Despite being on a plane for the whole day, she has been the most vocal about organizing the challenge. People are very attracted to Jodiā€™s energy making it easy for her to make allies in any situation she finds herself in. Right now, she has allied with Colin and Josh which easily puts her on the top of this trio alliance. Therefore, she is the safest person on the tribe. She has also been dictating this vote pretty heavily. I fear that Jodi just does not know how to chill though. Her biggest weakness is that she will jump out at anything and try to keep talking when she should just hold back. If she keeps playing the way she is, she will end up as an early jury boot.
Colin: Colin has attached himself to Jodi pretty heavily. I can definitely see this being Colinā€™s Final 2 rather than any of his allies back on S.E.E.S. The good part about it is that Jodi seems to feel the same way which is great. Additionally, Colin can hide behind Jodiā€™s massive target at merge.
Josh: Josh does very well in the challenges which keeps him in peopleā€™s good graces. His activity definitely helps him survive this tribe as well. He has found himself allied with Jodi out of necessity though. I do not doubt that Colin and Jodi will leave Josh in the dust once merge rolls around and they have their allies back. However, Josh is doing the thing he should be doing at pre-merge: being good at challenges and being active. Anything more would put an unnecessary target on his back at merge.
Babs: Babs is never online and did not even try to help in the challenge. This leaves them low. However, they do still have a Vote Blocker so they can pull some shenanigans if they so choose. Additionally, their inactivity may be used as a shield for now as, at the very least, Jodi is still willing to gtry and get to know Babs.
Shaad: I do not particularly understand why the trio alliance wants to target Shaad. He has a pre-established enemy in Jared and is willing to blow up if he wants to. He could make a great shield in the future, and he would not target these people. However, they believe that Shaad is more useless in the challenges than Babs (despite Babs never being online). And, without any allies on this tribe, there is no one there to vouch for Shaad making his demise seem clear. I hope somehow Shaad can pull himself out, but it does not seem likely.
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unicornninjabitch Ā· 7 years
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You: no one asked for another one of these
Me: yeah i know sorry i just have a lot of emotions and shit lately
(Haha thats a lie all i feel lately is annoyed and pain)
Anyway yes Iā€™m going to complain more about life cause i have some emotions i need to get out and shit. Okay Iā€™m very much a night owl, I have been my whole life, I work better t night and just love the night sky and shit. However 8th grade I was really, super, hella depressed cause of family stuff and school and being totally alone and you know the depression (thanks genes!), so Iā€™d be absolutely TERRIFIED to be left alone with my thoughts. Iā€™d stay up all night on youtube or some cringey website or on tumblr just so I didnā€™t have to lay in bed and think. Also very closeted, very depressed baby Alex had no idea wtf a healthy coping mechanism was, so I cut and it was bad like an every night thing cause after I did I was suddenly really tired and could almost sleep instantly once it hit like 2-3 am. Anyway I fucked my sleeping schedule up at a very young age, so that habit never left and the earliest I go to bed anymore is 12-12:30, whatever im used to it, not good for me but whatever. Then summer started and I didnā€™t sleep till like 1am-2am so I chalked it up to ā€œitā€™s summer whateverā€, but then it was 2 am-3am and I thought that was a one time thing, but nope. Now (as in the past week/week and a half ish) Iā€™m lucky to get 2-3 hours of sleep and even then Iā€™m up at like 9 am. As you can imagine this has lead to a good amount of problems, but first one additional thing. Now itā€™s just me and my mom at our house, but because of hour cuts and paying for school and catching up on bills and other shit we donā€™t really have a ton of money which means we donā€™t have a ton of food which means what we have we have to make last. With that being said back track to me getting 2-3 hours of sleep, now my bodyā€™s tired and Iā€™m exhausted I just wont go to fucking sleep, but Iā€™m hungry as hell. We didnā€™t have cereal and milk for awhile, so that left me with pasta like I said Iā€™m exhausted so pasta involves cooking, but I couldnā€™t do it. I knew Iā€™d be too tired half way through the water boiling to finish let alone eat anything. Also cause we donā€™t have a ton of money Iā€™d get 2 free meals a day in school so I wouldnā€™t go a whole day (or week) without eating real food (i mean it was gross government food but it got the job done), but in summer I didnā€™t get that so I just havent eaten really all summer like i could probably count on my hands how many actual meals ive eaten all summer. So the not eating mixed with the not sleepings fucking awful as you can imagine.I had a headache so bad I had to close my curtains put on sunglasses cover my head with a blanket and put my ice on my head in an attempt to help ease the pain, but WAIT THERES MORE. Every bone in my body constantly feels like it needs to crack and im just constantly really achey (idk if that has to do anything but it hurts like hell) Ive tried stretching and resting but it doesnt help, BUT THERES EVEN MORE!! The not eating!! I can feel my stomach being totally empty besides some water and that shit fucking hurts (idk how baby Alex did that shit) AND A FINAL THING your boy was born with god awful child bearing parts and guess what came up?! Thatā€™s right devil week so i feel like someones just stabbing me with a pitchfork while also trying to eject food thats not there. Therefore the past few nights Ive basically been clutching my stomach and head, the heating pad isnt helping, and pain killers arent helping much.
At this point youre probably like ā€œdude just some nyquilā€ which yeah youre right i should but we didnt have extra money this week to buy any and we dont have any so thats why i didnt do that. Also like I said before I /am/ tired, im really fucking tired and i dont really have thoughts its more like fast and loud static and like energy i have to get out or i get uncomfortable, so the past few nights (last night was really bad) Im up clutching and rocking and snapping and tapping my feet just trying to get rid of that energy. It comes a little bit in the day i was talking to a friend and typing so fucking fast while also thinking about some oc idea and then BAM no energy at fucking all like i had to lay down. This also leads into ive been trying to read out loud to myself so i can try to get my voice lower cause my voice bothers the hell out of me, but i cant focus for longer than like 5 minutes cause of loud static and extra energy and being tired and my eyes being tired so its really frustrating.
The thing is i go to a psychiatrist for my meds and what she told me (idk if this is true everywhere or just how she is) that i had like textbook bipolar but becaue at the time i was ike 14/15 they didnt want to diagnose it cause i was still young. Bipolar runs in my family, just like depression and anxiety, so i wasnt super suprised by that and as i got older i got less scared (theres nothing scary about people with bipolar btw i just didnt know what to expect or think cause of how i saw it in like movies and stuff) i thought maybe i wasnt and i just had highs and lows like everyone else, but looking back i can see that the highs and lows were really extreme and like i said before i was super suicidal last year and just kinda gave up and earlier this summer it took a lot of energy to do anything, but this isnt like doing reckless things kinda high like it normally is and it fucking suck ass guys. On top of that my ever so supporting lately mother was like ā€œlook up manic episodesā€ so i told her i know what it is but she just pushed to look it up so i did and of course i made a joke about increased sexual activity (which my virgin is not) and looked like yes i know. (side note dw too much im going to the doctors tomorrow and im gonna see what i can do about my meds and stuff).
So yeah sorry for another shitty life update (not including tons of dysphoria, isolation, and more self hate but whatevs)
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kyberled Ā· 7 years
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1, 16, 19, 31, 38, & 41 !! ( ik that's a lot i'm sorry lol )
42 character development questions!
1. How do they move and carry themselves? Pace, rhythm, gestures, energy?
I will start by saying that Braig talks with his hands. Unless heā€™s holding his hands behind his back, like at parade rest, or carrying something, chances are heā€™ll be gesturing with every other word. Part of it is because heā€™s just that energetic, part of it is because itā€™s easier for him to get his point across with gestures, and a third part of it is that talking with your hands has combative applications. I am not kidding. Itā€™s a way to have your hands up and ready if you need them, without seeming aggressive.
He usually walks at a steady pace, with speed depending on where heā€™s going, and why and when he needs to be there. His hands are often behind his back, resting at his hips, or with his thumbs hooked through his belt, if theyā€™re not hanging loose. He tends to like fiddling with or holding things, though, so heā€™s not usually just sitting with his hands idle.Ā 
His posture is straight, whether heā€™s walking, sitting, or sparring, since it makes him look taller, reduces the likelihood of back problems, and helps with balance and stances and the like. He doesnā€™t tend to slouch unless itā€™s to express a mood or emphasise a word, and he would never do this in formal conversation - itā€™s hard enough to get people to take him seriously, as is.Ā 
A few people have described his overall movements asĀ ā€˜fluidā€™ andĀ ā€˜flowyā€™, and thatā€™s a good way to put it. Itā€™s a result of his training, mostly, but also the areas heā€™s focused on, and his general body type. Heā€™s got muscle, sure, but heā€™s not a Dwane Johnson or John Cena. Heā€™s lean, I suppose, is what Iā€™m getting at. He doesnā€™t have a lot of bulk to hinder his movement, and, on top of that, his training helps him be as graceful as any other Jedi.Ā 
Energy, for him, depends on what mood heā€™s in. Like most people, he has highs and lows, and it all depends on whatā€™s happening around him. If heā€™s excited or angry, itā€™s more high-energy, sad or tired or content are low, confused is somewhere in between. Of course, even then, it can vary, but thatā€™s the usual.Ā 
Braig gestures a lot, so Iā€™m just going to list a few of them here. When heā€™s nervous, heā€™ll tug on his scarf; when he loses his scarf, he tugs on his sleeves, his collar, the hems of his shirt/tunic, or his padawan braid, if he still has it. When he gets his infamous facial scar, he scratches at it idly, and often has no idea if heā€™s doing it. When heā€™s ashamed, being scolded, or uncomfortable, heā€™ll hunch his shoulders and avoid eye contact, maybe bunch his fists around the hems of his sleeves. If he feels unsafe, heā€™ll have his hands resting on his lightsabers, and heā€™ll be gathering strands of the Force around him. If heā€™s angry, heā€™ll be tensed, gritting his teeth, and making eye contact with his shoulders back, possibly with his hands held behind his back and tightly clasped, depending on the situation. Another thing heā€™ll do if heā€™s nervous is run his fingers through his hair, but heā€™ll do that idly, too. If heā€™s afraid or unsafe and Obi-Wan is around, heā€™ll hold on to Obiā€™s sleeve (Itā€™s a habit developed over long years, and itā€™s gotten to the point in threads where Obidad just holds his arm out automatically; Braig appreciates it). When heā€™s thoughtful, heā€™ll stroke his chin with his right hand, usually look to the floor with his brow furrowed; If heā€™s excited, heā€™ll rock/bounce onto the balls of his feet. Heā€™ll puff air out of his cheeks if heā€™s frustrated, stretch and rub his eyes if heā€™s sleepy or just waking up. He doesnā€™t bite or chew on his lips often, but he might, sometimes, on the rare occasion. He tilts his head to the side when heā€™s listening to someone, curious, or confused, and arches his brow usually; heā€™ll smother smirks or little laughs behind his hand or fist. If heā€™s saying hello to someone, or thank you, thereā€™s usually a little bow thrown in - Usually this is for knights and masters, but heā€™s done to to shop keepers, other padawans, and even a youngling once; Itā€™s a habit that just springs up from time to time, and it can cause some pretty humorous situations. There are more, but I think this is enough for now.
16. Do they dream? What are those dreams like?
Oh, he dreams a lot, almost every night, and itā€™s almost never pleasant. He sees the faces of those he hasnā€™t been able to save, of those he wasnā€™t supposed to save, of places heā€™s been (those arenā€™t too bad), battles heā€™s fought in, traumatic things heā€™s been throughā€¦ But heā€™ll also have dreams about his friends, people he knows well, and the most abstract things. Sometimes itā€™s nothing.
It depends.
19. How do they behave within a group? What role(s) do they take? Does this differ if they know and trust the group, versus finding themselves in a group of strangers? Why?
Depends on the group. In his best friends (the gathering group), heā€™s sort of the unsung mastermind. While most people assume that the twins are the ones behind it all, or Lohata or Naweh, heā€™s actually usually the one coming up with their game plans. Not always, of course. The others have their schemes, too. And once they get going, they all have their own roles and do their own thing, but someoneā€™s gotta get the initial spark.
If Obi-Wanā€™s part of the group, or any Jedi master or knight he likes or is even remotely curious about, heā€™ll let them take the lead quite happily, tagging along and asking them as many questions as he thinks he can get away with, and maybe a few more than that, depending. Heā€™s been described as aĀ ā€˜puppyā€™ by a lot of people, and thatā€™s not at all inaccurate. He can get very enthusiastic about learning from or spending time with people he likes.Ā 
The older he is the more comfortable he is taking an explicit leading position in a group, so, when heā€™s just starting out in the GAR, heā€™s more likely to let Cody take charge, since heā€™s still finding his footing, but the older he gets the more comfortable he is leading on his own.Ā 
Chances are if heā€™s in a group of of strangers and has to take the lead, itā€™s because thereā€™s some kind of crisis going on. Believe it or not, heā€™d feel more equipped to handle that than other moments. If itā€™s not in this context, heā€™s less of a fan of groups of strangers. He can navigate them fine (itā€™s a lot easier if he can sense them in the Force, to pick up their emotions), but itā€™s a lot more comfortable for him to be with familiar people, though thatā€™s not just for him. I think thatā€™s pretty common.Ā 
Lastly, since I didnā€™t mention this earlier, if Braigā€™s put with a master he doesnā€™t like (which, given his track record, probably isnā€™t likely), he will do as heā€™s told as best he can, but he will trust his gut above anything else, and is way more likely to second-guess what heā€™s being told to do or think. Itā€™ll be fairly clear that he doesnā€™t want to be there, but he wonā€™t put civilian or clone lives at risk just because he has a bone to pick. Besides, being too stubborn or difficult would only leave him with punishments, and heā€™d rather not deal with it. (But he will complain to someone he likes better at a later date.)
31. Is there anything that counts as a ā€œdealbreakerā€ for them, positively or negatively? What makes things go smoothly, and what spoils an activity or ruins their day? Why?
The first bad-thing that comes to mind is excluding someone based on irrelevant or outright ridiculous logic or prejudice. For example, he understands not inviting the clones to games of push-feather, since that requires Force-sensitivity to play, but if itā€™s like ā€˜we donā€™t want Rodians playing boloball because they have different nosesā€™, I donā€™t know, heā€™ll promptly leave as soon as he possibly can. If someone acts really pompous and arrogant and high-and-mighty, he probably wonā€™t want anything to do with them. Anything that involves flying or mechanics work, heā€™s out; heā€™s not big on those. If itā€™s high-energy and heā€™s just had a long day, thatā€™s a no-go; Anything that glamorises or romanticises the war is right out, so there are a lot of holovids he wonā€™t see, a lot of video games he wouldnā€™t play even if he were allowed, a lot of books he wonā€™t read, songs he wonā€™t listen to, and so on and so forth. When heā€™s younger, heā€™s not a big fan of public speaking or crowds, so thatā€™s out until he gets used to it. Anything that involves breaking the law is right out, in almost all verses, so thatā€™s another thing. When it comes to food, heā€™s not a fan of carrots and broccoli, so that is also a no. He doesnā€™t like anything to do with excessive eating, or wastefulness, or even anything to do with buying expensive or luxurious material goods in general. On a ā€˜badā€™ day, heā€™s not a fan of sitting down for long periods of time unless he has something to feel accomplished or productive with, but on better days, heā€™s grateful to take some time to meditate or stargaze or go on walks or take tea with his friends and/or master(s). Also, talking with politicians about negotiating treaties to help their people get the food they desperately need while said politician is shovelling imported delicacies into their mouth and complaining about everything. Thatā€™s a bad-day maker.
Things that would make a day/activity better include being invited out to something, since that means heā€™s actually wanted there, or doing anything with people he cares about, so anything to do with the Space Fam or the Gathering Group are right in. Things that involve sparring or building lightsabers, heā€™s probably down for. He likes flowers and stars and books and tea, so, chances are, heā€™ll be down for activities involving those. He likes swimming, so he would be glad to do that (though he doesnā€™t like getting wet, otherwise). If someone wants to brush, braid, or otherwise style or toy with his hair, heā€™s all for it, depending on who it is (and, obviously, no scissors). He doesnā€™t like things that are too loud or chaotic, since he gets enough of that when heā€™s at war; He also isnā€™t a fan of large crowds, justĀ ā€˜cause the Force can get a little noisy on top of people themselves, so heā€™ll enjoy things with smaller groups (And by large crowds, I mean anywhere where people are all packed into a place with not a lot of room. If heā€™s in a large, open place with a few people, heā€™ll be chill; But put him in a crowded train car, and heā€™ll be pretty :/ about it). He likes high-energy things sometimes, but he also likes quiet moments, so something that fits his mood makes it better. Being around people with relatively peaceful Force signatures is another good thing. He likes cooking, and some chores, and he likes being warm, and he likes things he can learn from and challenges.Ā 
Over all, it really depends on his mood - there are a lot of things that change and shift on a day-to-day basis. You can usually tell what heā€™d be interested in or if an idea entices him just by watching his reactions.
38. Is there anything they wish they could change about their worldview or thought processes? What, and why?
He wishes that he wasnā€™t so emotional, so empathetic, that it was easier for him to detach himself from the things heā€™s seen and had to do. It would be a lot easier to handle being a Jedi, that way. He also wishes he knew more about the actual situation in the galaxy. The older he gets, the more he realises heā€™s been drinking the propaganda kool-aide just like everyone else. He doesnā€™t know the Mandalorianā€™s side of the story, for example. He doesnā€™t know why people like Mina Bonteri would join the Separatists. He doesnā€™t even know why heā€™s fighting, some days.
41. What associations do they bring to mind? Words or phrases, images, metaphors or motifs? Why?
Aside from the typical stars and galaxies, the images Braig brings to mind are flowers, leather-bound books and blank parchment, fountain pens and ink blotches, gentle scrawls of text, cups of tea or hot chocolate, bandages - often bloody - tiny weapons parts and tools, dirty hands, flying birds, long dark hair, scars, brown fabric (esp. rough), small boxes of candy, pastries, lightsabers, leather boots, etc.
Phrases include ā€˜kill them with kindnessā€™, ā€˜someday Iā€™ll be betterā€™, pretty much the entirety of Phil Collinsā€™ ā€˜Son of Manā€™, ā€˜The strong must protect the weakā€™, ā€˜I found my familyā€™, ā€˜The blood of the covenant is thicker than the water of the wombā€™,Ā ā€˜no pain no gainā€™,Ā ā€˜my pain is irrelevant, as long as youā€™re okayā€™,Ā ā€˜pull yourself up by your bootstrapsā€™,Ā ā€˜the sun will come out tomorrowā€™,Ā ā€˜spit your blood and wipe your mouthā€™,Ā ā€˜a cup of tea a day keeps the doctor awayā€™,Ā ā€˜he was your father, but he wasnā€™t your dadā€™, and a bunch more - Iā€™m not the best with remembering quotes, honestly. Thereā€™s a tag for it.Ā 
Honestly I- Have a mental collage for Braig, really? Itā€™s just putting them into words. Heā€™s my boy tho. I think about him a lot.
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