#Sunny commits suicide post-incident AU | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

turnupswritessometimes · 7 years

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Scattered Dreams - Alibaba X Kassim

Title : Scattered Dreams

Word Count : 6312

Summary : Modern AU (-ish) It is the day of Kassim’s funeral, and Alibaba spends the time unable to separate the past from the present. How can Juliet move on from Romeo?

On my A03 and ff.net under the same name, but tumblr won’t put posts with links on search results. So it’s under the cut.

"Hey, Alibaba, are you ready?"

Alibaba turned to the door of the room that he was staying in. Sinbad was standing there, looking only slightly uncomfortable in a black suit. His ponytail coiled on his shoulder like a snake. He regarded Alibaba with calculating eyes - his real question lay there 'are you doing okay?'

"Yeah, I should be," Alibaba replied. His tongue felt like a lead ball. "Just give me a sec?"

"I'll meet you downstairs," Sinbad said.

Alibaba tried to give a grateful smile, but he felt like it was more of a grimace. There was a knowing look on his face as he left the room. Alibaba couldn't hide anything from him. He certainly wasn't okay.

He turned back, checking his reflection in the mirror. He had only ever worn a suit to a school dance before. When the hall was sweaty and there were stray crisps everywhere and couples would hold hands just to prove they were together. Awkward kisses as though they everyone was watching them. When the lights were just two disco balls flashing blue, green, red. You couldn't see anyone, and you couldn't hear anyone over the dated music - 'because kids liked retro, right?' When he and Kassim would...

He felt the memory like a blade in his gut.

A first kiss in the corner. Awkward and brief. Fourteen. The last school dance they had really shared.

What would Kassim say - if he could see Alibaba now?

"You can't repeat the past, old sport."

He always did. When Alibaba wore a suit and slicked his hair back. He would laugh at Alibaba's little smile - it flattered him. And Alibaba would tell him that he really should read it. Kassim would shake his head - "I don't want to know what disaster it ends in."

Kassim would always stick a hand in his hair, and restore it to its usual mop.

Alibaba stuck a hand in his hair, breaking the gel so that it fell into its usual mop.

Kassim was gone.

Can't repeat the past, huh?

"Alibaba, the taxi's here!" Sinbad's booming voice came again.

Alibaba stepped away from the mirror, meeting his own gaze warily. As though his reflection would escape if he didn't watch it.

His eyes looked to blue. Too clear.

Not red-rimmed, like they should be when going to his best friend's funeral.

He backed away, and headed downstairs.

They were waiting for him in the doorway. Sinbad, Ja'far, Morgiana and Aladdin. All watching him like he was going to explode.

He thought about smiling.

He didn't.

"I'm ready," he muttered, as he pushed past them. No one said anything.

They followed him into the taxi. It pulled away from Sinbad's huge house with barely a sound.

They were staying there. Since the mess Alibaba had created. Since his brother's had disowned him for good this time. Since Kassim...

Since Kassim's death. Alibaba forced himself to finish the thought. It was no good pretending he was still there. He wasn't.

Alibaba got a last glimpse of Sinbad's house. A huge, Georgian style place that was more like a mansion than a house. More than enough room for three extra kids. It was all white trimmings and shining brick. Even the roof was polished and gleaming. The perfect little suburban dream.

But the windows stared at Alibaba like empty mouths. Crying out…

Kassim used to climb through his window. He wouldn't knock. He would just appear, a grin and amber eyes.

Alibaba would pretend to ignore him. To see how long Kassim could hold on without falling off. But his room was small, and he could only pretend to be studying for so long, before Alibaba would give in.

The longest he had managed was an hour, and even then, Kassim was barely breaking a sweat.

"Hey, Rapunzel," Kassim would say, staring to pull himself up. It was on account of the tiny attic room and the golden hair.

He would push his arms up first, like a gymnast, leaning forward to press his lips against Alibaba's.

The first time he had done it, Alibaba had been so surprised that he had almost pushed Kassim out of the window.

The second time, he leant into Kassim so much that he almost fell out himself.

Most times, it was a just brief exchange - a taste, for safety's sake, before Kassim pulled the rest of his body through and Alibaba closed the window.

"What are you doing here?" he asked.

"I wanted to hang out," Kassim said. "Am I not allowed to do that?"

"No, you're not, actually," Alibaba said "I'm not allowed to hang out with you any more. After the shoplifting incident."

Kassim rolled his eyes.

"You know your life would be boring without me, Juliet-"

Their story had the same ending. Or, at least, half of the same ending. But Kassim had always said he hated how Juliet had committed suicide too. - "He would want her to live." - He wanted Alibaba to live.

"-And the orphanage is boring without you."

"How is the orphanage?" Alibaba would step toward, desperate. Kassim would catch his hands, holding them like a treasure. "How is everyone?"

"Mourning your absence," Kassim would reply, sarcastically, then shrugged. "Same as, trying so many drugs they don't realise I've sneaked out, and living for their next cigarette."

That was when Alibaba's face would fall.

"I'm kidding, of course," Kassim would grin, and tap Alibaba's nose with a finger. "You're so gullible. We're just looking after the other kids. Trying not to fail school - same as you."

"You're not - doing all that crap - are you - Kassim?" Alibaba asked.

"What kind of boy do you take me for?" Kassim replied. He kissed Alibaba's forehead, pulling him into a hug. They swayed slightly, as though they were dancing. As though they were on a boat - holding onto each other as the Titanic sank.

Alibaba had always said it was unfair Rose didn't take a turn to swim. Kassim would say Jack wouldn't want her to. That was love.

It still wasn't fair.

And Alibaba would smell the cigarettes. The weed. He would know.

But he would just bury his head into the crook of Kassim's neck, and ignore it.

"What do you want to do," Kassim asked into Alibaba's hair.

"Nothing," Alibaba replied. "Just stay here, with you - and pretend that this is our house. That we live together."

"Of course, Cinderella," Kassim said. "I'll always be here to chase away your ugly half-brothers."

Alibaba would give a breathless laugh.

"I'm so trapped here," he told Kassim. "They never let me out."

"Because they know you'll go to see me," Kassim said. "And I'm a bad influence."

"You're a terrible influence," Alibaba said, poking Kassim's cheek. "You pierced my ear in a school bathroom!"

They saw each other at school. They would snatch conversations from each other in class. But it wasn't enough. It was nowhere near enough.

"You had an apple to bit down on," Kassim chuckled.

"I was grounded for a month!" Alibaba said. "And it got infected."

"You're just too good," he said. His voice lowered. "You've always been too good."

Alibaba smiled. It made him feel uncomfortable.

"You're good too," he said, rubbing his nose against Kassim's in a butterfly kiss. He had only said yes because he wanted to be cool. To be like Kassim. Be good enough for him.

Kassim gave him a sad smile, his hand in his golden hair.

"How's your dad?" he asked.

Alibaba went back to clinging onto Kassim like a mast.

The day was bland. It wasn't raining, but the sky was grey. You could see blue patches, but it wasn't sunny.

People were just going their own way. A normal day.

It felt like the world was fracturing into abstract shapes around Alibaba.

Aladdin was holding his hand. Morgiana's foot was pressed against his, and she was watching his face carefully.

Sinbad and Ja'far were talking in low tones. Trying to figure out what to do with all of them.

"Alibaba, your brother sent a condolence card through this morning," Aladdin said.

Alibaba nodded. His tie felt too tight. He tugged at the earring in his lobe - the one he had got done after the school bathroom experience.

"He said he would love for you to stay one day. He might arrange a weekend in the summer." Aladdin continued.

"I'm not going back," Alibaba said. His voice was quiet. Dangerous. It was hard to get the words out.

"Ahbmed's not there any more," Aladdin said.

"I can't," Alibaba said.

Legs tangled together. The laptop crashing five times in ten minutes. Kassim whispering lines he knew into his ear. Resting his head on Kassim's chest. Hearing a heartbeat. A steady heartbeat. A reassurance that everything was okay. That he wasn't alone.

He forced himself to take a breath. He wasn't alone.

He felt so alone.

"Kassim spent a lot of time with me in that house," he managed to say.

A quick afternoon turning into staying the night. Kassim tracing patterns on his bare back. Alibaba writing words on Kassim's back.Writing with the torch on the ceiling. Kassim trying to stick up the plastic stars he had 'borrowed'. They had fallen down overnight. They had awoken to be surrounded by them. It wasn't like floating in space - just chunks of plastic on a duvet. But Alibaba had imagined that they were floating in an indigo sky as hard as he could.

"How is your new room?" Ja'far had broken off from conversation with Sinbad, and was staring at him. "Have everything you need?"

"It's great." Alibaba nodded, non-committal.

"It's so plain," Aladdin said. "Is it okay if I bring some posters in?"

Ja'far nodded, but he was still looking at Alibaba. Almost concerned.

Alibaba turned away. He couldn't deal with concern right now. Concern made him repeat the words 'I'm okay'. And the more he repeated them, the more he felt they weren't true.

He thought of his new room. The room was plain. Plain white walls. Pain wooden floor. Plain bed. Plan duvet. Plain curtains.

Nothing to remind him of Kassim.

So why did the memories keep coming?

"You're being sent to boarding school?" Kassim asked incredulously.

They were lying in bed. Alibaba kept his eyes fixed on the ceiling as he nodded.

"What didn't you say anything earlier?" Kassim had turned to him, lying on his side. His eyes two candles in the dark.

"I didn't know how," Alibaba had muttered.

Kassim pulled his chin, so that their eyes met.

"How long have you known?" Kassim demanded.

"A week," Alibaba whispered.

"A week!" Kassim repeated. He wasn't angry. He sounded hurt. "And you go tomorrow?"

"I didn't want to tell you," Alibaba said. He felt his voice break. "I thought if I didn't tell you it wouldn't happen."

"You've always been such a child!" Kassim snapped. Then his gaze softened. "You should have told me."

Alibaba's gaze dropped. Kassim's hand had left his chin.

"If you had told me, we could have said goodbye properly," Kassim continued.

"I don't want to say goodbye," Alibaba said. "At all."

Kassim had held his cheeks and kissed him. Tenderly. Gently. As though he would break. Alibaba had kissed him back. Wondering if it was the last time.

Then Kassim sat up suddenly, fiddling with his hand.

He pressed a ring into Alibaba's palm.

"Take this," he said.

"This is..." Alibaba stared at the circle of gold in his palm. He had always seen it with Kassim. He never knew where it came from.

"Remember me there. Remember where you came from." Kassim said. "That you're not one of them. That you're like me."

Alibaba slipped the ring onto his finger. It was at least a size too big.

Vergissmeinnicht. German for forget me not. Alibaba had studied the poem. "For here the lover and killer are mingled, who had one body and one heart." He hadn't liked the imagery of the dead soldier. But the word was nice. Vergissmeinnicht.

Kassim kissed him. His mouth tasted of cigarettes, but Alibaba had come to like the taste. The taste of Kassim.

"As if I could forget," Alibaba said. He kissed Kassim's cheek. "You will always be my home."

He paused, then pulled away, feeling a small smile tug his lips despite himself.

"It was the nightingale, and not the lark, that pierced the fearful hollow of thine ear," he muttered.

"What?" Kassim looked at him like he was crazy.

"It's Romeo and Juliet," Alibaba said.

"Of course," Kassim said, then swung his leg over Alibaba so that he sat in his lap. He kissed Alibaba again.

Then his mouth slipped away, down Alibaba's jawline, resting just at the curve. Kassim's nose nudged his earlobe. He sucked down on the skin.

Alibaba gasped at the movement, but Kassim put a finger to his lips.

"They'll hear you," Kassim whispered. Alibaba felt teeth on his neck. He swallowed his breath. This was part of the appeal. The thrill that Juliet felt having Romeo in her room.

Then Kassim was kissing him again. And his neck was throbbing, but he felt so alive. His heart felt as though it would swell and burst like a balloon.

"I have to say goodbye properly."

Their foreheads had been pressed against each other. Alibaba's hands on Kassim's shoulders. His skin was always cold. The ring on Alibaba's hand a glint of gold.

A promise.

People exchanged rings to demonstrate that they would always be there for each other.

Alibaba spun the ring on his finger. It was two years, and it was still too big for him.

And Kassim hadn't kept the promise.

They stood in the foyer of the small church, waiting to go in for the service.

There weren't many people. A lot of Kassim's friends from the Fog Troupe had also…

Alibaba swallowed painfully. He loosened his tie. It felt hot in here - hard to breathe.

"Have you got your speech prepared?" Sinbad asked. Alibaba felt a reassuring hand on his shoulder. He still felt like he was going to splinter into a thousand pieces.

He nodded wordlessly.

Morgiana stepped forward and silently adjusted his tie. She watched him carefully. Trying to tell him things would be okay. She didn't understand.

Her finger nudged the place where he had received his first love bite. The place where his last was still fading.

Morgiana stepped back as they were called inside. Alibaba tried to give her a grateful smile, but his lips barely twitched.

Scarcely half the pews were filled. They were sat in the front row. Aladdin was next to him. Then Morgiana. Alibaba counted the facts, but everything still seemed like shapes. Cardboard cut-outs.

He spun the ring, watching the light catch on the details.

He had gone to boarding school the next day. The next month he had snuck out. But getting back home required money. Cash, not card, so that his brother's couldn't find him. He had met Aladdin.

He had gotten distracted.

Aladdin was by his side now. His head was bowed. He was mouthing words, with half-lidded eyes. The only one besides Alibaba who was actually in mourning.

Their little fingers just touched on the pews. Another promise. A promise of friendship.

"Ashes to ashes," the priest begun speaking. The words blended and merged. Alibaba couldn't concentrate. He just kept seeing Kassim's face. Floating before him. Laughing. Sticking his tongue out. Sleeping. Alibaba hadn't meant to watch him sleep. He had rolled over to wake him up, and had found himself fixed on the line of Kassim's eyelashes. The downturn of his mouth. The little dip under his bottom lip.

They said his name.

Aladdin patted Alibaba's hand as he stood, feeling as though his legs would crumple like paper beneath him.

He stood behind the pulpit.

"These violent delights have violent ends," Alibaba said. His voice felt unused. Rusty. "Kassim would always say, what did 'violent ends' matter, if you had 'violent delights'? He loved Romeo and Juliet, though I don't think he ever read it cover to cover," he would have me quote it between kisses. Quoting it whilst he trailed his tongue across my shoulders. Quote it whilst he kissed me so much my lips went numb. "He was an adrenaline junkie. He always was, ever since we were kids. I loved that he spent so many nights at my house - because we were always together. When I found out why…well…" Alibaba swallowed, but the stone in his throat didn't go down. "Kassim didn't deserve the family life he got. He was too kind and cheerful. He was always cheerful despite what he had been through. He had this big goofy smile…and despite everything; he was a good person. A best friend. He was brutally honest, and brave, and witty and…"

Alibaba paused as he recognised someone in the back row. Someone from the Fog Troupe. His face blurred into a moon. Everything seemed to blur slightly.

That guy-

"That guy's staring at me," Alibaba said. They were sat in the corner of a hazy bar. People kept looking at Alibaba's blonde hair, so they had retreated.

"It's because of your cute, posh accent," Kassim said, taking a drag of the cigarette in his hand. Alibaba knew it wasn't full of tobacco. He was trying to ignore that.

"I do not have a posh accent," Alibaba said. But he heard it that time, and felt his face flush. "You think it's cute?"

Kassim laughed, the smoke coming out in chunks over Alibaba.

The air was thick with smoke. It smelt of weed, and cigarettes and urine in the bar. But it was where Kassim wanted to celebrate Alibaba's return. And Alibaba had never been able to say no to Kassim.

"You're not drinking," Kassim said, sipping from the can in his other hand.

"I don't really drink." Alibaba said.

"Liar," Kassim's mouth dipped down in a frown. "I've seen you drink wine."

"Only at dinner," Alibaba muttered. He couldn't stand the taste of wine, either.

He flicked the can of beer, and a drop came out the top.

"That drink cost me four dollars, you had better drink it." Kassim said.

"I don't know if I like beer," Alibaba gingerly took the can, and stared at it. Alcohol had never really been his thing.

"You've always been such a loser, Juliet," Kassim said. His hand tipped the can towards Alibaba's mouth.

"And I bet you're a real yo-yo," Alibaba said.

"I love you too," Kassim said. He tipped the can even more dangerously.

Rebel Without a Cause. Kassim had always said he was a rebel with one. Alibaba still thought the ending would be the same. Someone getting hurt.

He hadn't wanted to be right.

Alibaba had no choice but to take a sip, or risk spilling it all over himself.

He ended up spitting most of it out.

"Holy cannelloni, that's bitter!" Alibaba cried.

Kassim laughed, sipping his own drink.

"You're so cute," he said. He leant forward and caught Alibaba's mouth in his own, his tongue pushing through to Alibaba's mouth immediately.

He only pulled away when he needed another drag on his cigarette. Alibaba's heart was pounding. They had never kissed like that before.

"So am I a member of the Fog Troupe now?" he asked. Trying to sound witty and funny. To be worthy of Kassim.

"Practically," Kassim shrugged. He tried to blow a ring of smoke, and frowned at the result. "But first you have to pass our initiation test."

Panic darted in Alibaba's heart.

"I'm not murdering or raping anyone, Kassim," Alibaba said.

"Please, Alibaba, we have some class," Kassim rolled his eyes, as though it was an effort. "You have to take a drag of this."

Kassim held out his cigarette.

"You want me to smoke?" Alibaba asked, doubtfully.

"Just one drag," Kassim said. He had a smirk on his face as he demonstrated.

"Kassim, don't you know how bad those things are for your health?" Alibaba said.

Kassim blew more smoke in Alibaba's face.

"Live fast, die young, leave a beautiful corpse." Kassim blew more smoke into Alibaba's face.

They hadn't been able to find a corpse.

The smoke made him feel light headed. Giggly. Kassim looked attractive with the cigarette in his hand. His eyes half-lidded, and a smirk on his face.

So when Kassim handed him the cigarette, Alibaba took it.

He brought it to his mouth, then found himself dissolving into a fit of giggles.

"I don't know how," he said, trying again to the same effect.

"C'mon, it's easy, Rapunzel," Kassim said. He rolled his eyes, and steadied the cigarette in his head.

The pet name made Alibaba's heart pound.

He took a drag. For once, he felt just as cool as Kassim.

Then he burst into a coughing fit from the stuff.

Kassim was laughing, and clapping him on the back. Alibaba found himself laughing too.

"Oh, Rapunzel, you're adorable," Kassim said. He had pulled back Alibaba's fringe and kissed his forehead.

Alibaba's breath caught. His whole body felt warm. Impossibly warm. Like he was on fire.

Was this passion?

"I love you," he said, tilting Kassim's chin so that their eyes could meet. He had really meant it. His heart was throbbing with it.

Kassim blinked at him.

Panic fluttered in Alibaba's heart at the hesitation.

Then Kassim took another drag, and blew out the smoke luxuriously.

"I love you more."

There was no coffin to lower. They hadn't found a body. But Kassim had always said he had wanted to be cremated.

Lying in bed. Naked under the sheets. Heart racing - "Ideally, I'd like to come back as a tree. I read this thing online that said they could do it. Wouldn't that be cool?"

People were just standing around outside of the little church. There was no after celebration planned. They were unsure how to leave it.

There had been a few drops of rain, but nothing proper. Not even the sky was willing to cry for Kassim.

Alibaba was choking away his own tears every other moment. He couldn't show he was struggling. Then people made a thing of it, and that made it worse.

"Don't cry for me. Funerals are always full of so much crying."

"Walk with me," Ja'far was at Alibaba's side.

"What?" he blinked at Ja'far.

"C'mon," Ja'far said, leading the way down a path with graves on either side.

Alibaba followed, sticking his hands in his pockets.

"Can't repeat the past, old sport? Why of course you can."

What Alibaba would give to repeat the past. Even knowing how it would end - just to spend one more day…

"I understand what you're going through," Ja'far said. "At least, part of it."

"What would you know?" Alibaba spat. He wanted to be angry. Because that was better than being sad. Miserable. Completely numb.

"You think you're the only one in love with their best friend?" Ja'far glanced back towards Sinbad. "Especially when you're teenagers…You guys feel everything so much more vividly…I couldn't imagine how I would feel if anything happened to Sin…"

Alibaba blinked at him and Ja'far gave him a small, knowing smile.

"Your speech - he liked you to quote Shakespeare, didn't he?" Ja'far asked.

Alibaba nodded wordlessly. He nudged a rock with his shoe, but it just rolled over.

"The course of true love never did run smooth." Ja'far said slowly, turning his face to the trees ahead of them.

"He - he liked the tragedies most," Alibaba's voice felt thick. It cracked.

"Sin likes the comedies," Ja'far said, with a small smile.

They took a few more steps.

"Are you going to tell me he will always be with me?" Alibaba asked dryly.

Ja'far gave a wry smile, and shook his head.

"I'm going to ask you not to follow him. You're smarter than that, right?" Ja'far said.

"Oh churl, drunk all, and left no friendly drop to help me after?" Alibaba said. He had tried to give a mock sigh, but it came out as a real one.

"I'm serious," Ja'far said.

"Don't worry - I'm not stupid," Alibaba said. He turned away and swallowed heavily.

But what if I was?

Ja'far placed a hand on Alibaba's shoulder.

He didn't even have to say anything. It was enough to send the tears over the edge.

Alibaba coughed as he fought to stop himself from crying. He couldn't do this. He had lasted so long…

But then Ja'far was pulling him into his chest. Alibaba was wrapped in a black shroud. Protected from the rest of the world.

Everything hurt. His heart felt as though it had stabbed. His fingertips ached. He felt as though he had been battered to a pulp. But he wasn't bleeding. None of the pain was going. It hadn't lessened in a week.

His body racked with sobs. He found himself clutching Ja'far, but it didn't help. Nothing was fixing him back down to earth. Everything was just painful.

"It's - so - hard!" he managed to say.

"I know," Ja'far murmured.

"I miss him - so - so much!" Alibaba was choking on the words. Words that had throbbed through him ever since…

"I know," Ja'far repeated. He rubbed Alibaba's back as he choked on his own saliva. As he fought to breathe.

It's always so hard to breathe. Like an anvil weighing down on his chest.

But Ja'far wasn't being patronising. He was just there. Someone who understood.

And that was enough.

It was enough just to be here, with Kassim, frankly. Kassim had always been enough.

"Try again," Kassim said, bringing the cigarette to Alibaba's mouth.

"I already did it," Alibaba said.

"Yeah, but do it properly and you'll understand why everyone here smokes the stuff," Kassim said.

I'm not sure I want to know.

But Kassim was smiling at him.

He could never say no.

Alibaba tried again.

He had marginally better success.

"It tastes disgusting," he said, wisps of the smoke still coming from his mouth. But he felt a buzz. A happy buzz.

"But it feels good?" Kassim said, taking the cigarette back.

Alibaba felt giddy. He nodded. He liked this. He liked the pet names and the smiles and the way Kassim was patting his hair.

Kassim stubbed the cigarette out on the table, his mouth against Alibaba's cheek.

"Do you have somewhere to stay?" he asked, his fingers on Alibaba's neck.

"I thought you would return the favour?" Alibaba muttered. Kassim's hair was in his face.

"I think that can be arranged," Kassim smiled, and he laced his hand in Alibaba's.

Alibaba allowed himself to be led through the pub. People called out to Kassim, but he couldn't make out the words. The smoke in he room was making his head feel light. He felt like he was walking on air. Surely this was a dream.

Kassim led him upstairs.

"My rooms right above the bar," he said to Alibaba over his shoulder.

Alibaba nodded. He was grinning like a fool. Kassim pushed a door open. The lights were dim up here. The electric light turning Kassim's skin green and yellow. A happy dream.

Alibaba was nudged into the room, and Kassim closed the door behind him.

The room was small. Small enough that when Kassim kissed Alibaba, he fell backwards onto the bed.

Kassim was over him, his mouth just out of reach.

"I haven't been able to stop thinking about you since you left," he murmured. Growled.

Alibaba should have recognised how cliché that was. But his heart pounder at the words.

It must be a dream.

He felt like he was in a dream when he finally stopped crying, and Ja'far lead him back to the others.

"All good?" Sinbad asked. His words were loaded with meaning.

Ja'far nodded. He still had one hand on the back of Alibaba's back.

He felt like he was a spring that had run dry. His eyes felt heavy. He was tired. He wanted to go to bed. Wake up and find Kassim next to him. Grinning at him. Perhaps a wink.

"Alibaba, let's go home," Aladdin gently took Alibaba's hand, pulling him back towards a taxi.

"I think he would have laughed at your speech," Morgiana said. Her eyes were warm. Trying to help. Unsure of how.

Alibaba managed a shaky smile in thanks. He had good friends. Friends who were there for him.

But he was still relieved when Ja'far took the spot next to him in the car. Relieved that Ja'far didn't say anything when Alibaba lent on his shoulder slightly. Something to hold him up. A totem pole.

"Thanks," he muttered.

Ja'far didn't say anything. But there was the slightest incline of his head.

"Have you read the three musketeers?" he asked Alibaba.

"No," Alibaba's voice was barely there any more. Stolen by the howls.

"You're quite like D'Artagnan," Ja'far said. He was looking out the window. "Your bitter memories have time to turn to sweet ones."

Alibaba gave a small snort. He couldn't imagine looking back on these memories fondly. He couldn't imagine ever feeling normal again. His world had fundamentally changed. His heart would bleed forever.

Ja'far had another small, knowing smile on his face. And deep down, Alibaba considered him perhaps being right.

The taxi went on.

Morgiana and Aladdin were talking about other things. It was time for them to move on from being sad. The funeral was over. They could be happy again. Forget about it.

"Forget about it all," Kassim murmured to Alibaba; pulling off his shirt for him. "Forget about the world - just for one night."

Alibaba was happy to oblige. He couldn't think of anything else, anyway. Kassim filled his senses. His touch - his fingers on Alibaba's skin, like a pianist's fingers on the keys. His face blurring out of focus when he leant close to Alibaba. His breath against him. His voice. The taste of his mouth.

Kassim pushed Alibaba down onto the bed, kneeling over him. Alibaba's skin was burning. His stomach was leaping as Kassim's mouth twitched in a smirk.

"Kassim," he murmured.

Kassim stole a kiss from him.

"Romeo," he corrected. He buried his face in the crook of Alibaba's neck. Alibaba felt his

teeth against his skin. His body arched, and his arms circled Kassim's neck. He liked this.

"Deny thy father and renounce thy name," Alibaba murmured the words as though in a trance. "What's in a name? That which we call a rose by any other name would smell as sweet."

Kassim made a small sound like a growl against Alibaba's neck. A moan. His fingers tightened around Alibaba.

His hand touched the waistband of Alibaba's trousers.

Alibaba's heart skipped a beat.

Then Kassim fell down on his side on the bed next to Alibaba in a heap, his arms pulling them together in a hug. Their legs tangled on the weather-beaten duvet.

"What happened to you?" Kassim said. He pushed Alibaba's hair away from his face tenderly. "All these years?"

"I…escaped boarding school," Alibaba murmured, leaning into Kassim's palm. He kissed the soft pad of Kassim's palm.

"That was stupid," Kassim said. "Do you know how privileged you were to go there?"

"And I thought I was the naive one," Alibaba said. His finger traced Kassim's jawline. Had it always been that strong? "Did you not realise my brother sent me there to just get rid of me?"

Kassim was silent. His eyes watched Alibaba.

"They were scared of me. After dad…passed. They thought I could take over the business. And quickly. That's why they sent me away. It was nothing to do with being privileged." Alibaba could feel himself growing angry. He forced it down. Don't think about that. Think about Kassim.

Kassim closed his eyes, and pressed their foreheads together.

"I'm sorry," he muttered. "We really are too sides of the same coin, huh?"

"You either die a hero, or live long enough to see yourself become the villain."

But the lines had blurred.

"We're both pretty messed up," Alibaba agreed, closing his eyes. It seemed like they fitted together. A mirror image. A hand on each other's cheek. Light and dark entwined. Ying and Yang.

"I am damaged. Really damaged. But you're not beyond repair." Kassim had always said the movie of Heathers was better. Alibaba had disagreed. "Too unfeeling." "That's what makes it badass."

"What's…" Kassim pulled away slightly, and pulled Alibaba's hand away from his face. He examined the ring, then cracked a smile. "You've still got that piece of junk?"

"Don't be like that!" Alibaba said. His fingers tightened around Alibaba's. "It's how I found my way back to you, Prince Charming."

Kassim had laughed, and kissed his forehead. Then his nose. Then his cheeks. He pulled his hand towards him and kissed the pads of his fingers, and his palm and his wrist. Alibaba returned the favour. They had taken it in turns to shower each other with affection, until they had fallen asleep with their mouths pressed against each other's.

He knew that Kassim was touched really. That Kassim loved that ring.

Kassim loved that ring.

Alibaba twisted it on his finger.

They were back at Sinbad's house. Alibaba couldn't call it home. He didn't think he had had a home in a long time.

That wasn't true.

Kassim had always been his home.

He went up the stairs.

He stood in the doorway of his room.

Twist, twist…twist…

He caught sight of his reflection in the mirror. He looked pale and tired. Drained.

His gaze moved over it. To the desk. There was an old picture of him and Kassim stood there. The only thing he had taken with him. Sinbad had said it would help. He had been wrong.

They still had gaps in their teeth's and Alibaba's hair was as fluffy as a ducklings. Kassim didn't have bags under his eyes. His hair wasn't as messy.

Tears stung Alibaba's eyes. They hurt.

Everything hurt.

He stormed across the room and picked up the photo. He was suddenly furious. It was easier to be angry than to be sad. Miserable. Desolate. Lost.

"You said you would never leave!" he said to the photo. "You said you would always be there to protect me! You were my Prince Charming! You were my - Kassim!"

He couldn't see. He could barely speak. All he knew was that he was burning. Everything was burning.

"You were my home," Alibaba whispered. He clutched the picture frame in his hands so hard that the edges dug into him. "You seriously had to leave for good?! You couldn't have come back as a force spirit?" "Just doesn't make sense in the universe." "Or a ghost -or something?! You jerk!"

He threw the picture.

The mirror smashed.

Alibaba dropped to his knees heavily. He couldn't support himself anymore. He was done. He was lost. He held his head in his hands and he sobbed. It wasn't the wailing from the graveyard. It was heavy, silent sobs that jerked his whole body. He was lost. Completely lost. He had no sense of who he was anymore. What he was doing. Only that he was in pain and it hurt. It hurt so much.

"Seven years bad luck," Kassim said.

Alibaba raised his head.

He was alone.

Had he imagined it? He must have imagined it.He was just thinking about Kassim. He had been all day. He was just telling himself that's what Kassim would say. He could remember Kassims' voice so clearly.

But did it matter?

"I love you!" Alibaba cried. "I love you - so - so much."

His chest hurt. As though he had stabbed himself through the heart.

"Dagger, here is thy sheath."

Everything hurt.

Everything would hurt forever and ever.

"I know."

A pause. Alibaba could barely breathe.

"I love you too, Leia."

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