#a stunt triggers an attak and then leads to me not being able to listen to their music but i just feel numb evrytime it happens

[halosluvchild]

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#i want to start this by saying if anyone reads this rant that im not blaming Harry (or Louis) for any of this #the holiva stunt will go down in history as the stunt that made Harry styles look like the biggest piece of shit to ever walk the earth and #i think everyone involved needs a huge ass reality check because even though somehow that movie managed to get $30m #tw panic attack #i cant control what triggers my panic attacks but my god when i have to stop listening to one of comfort artists because of pap pics i get #a little pissed and its not even H(or l bcause i know tht if pics w the kid came out right now the same thing would happen) fault #and i know that i can step away from fandom ive done it before but fandom isn't the problem if anything fandom is helping because other #perspectives are helping me see reason and logic in all this madness & h&l arnt the problem either because i would be the biggest piece of #shit in the world if i blamed them for anything having to do about THEIR closets effecting ME the problem i have is that the music i would #normally go to if my anxiety gets to much consist of h l 1d & 5sos and this isn't the first time ive been stuck like this it happened with #louis and the Christmas pic with the kid i couldn't listen to louis for almost two weeks after that i was just happy it subsided so that i #could see him twice on tour in February i just don't know what to do i feel like i should be mad or angry at something or someone everytime #a stunt triggers an attak and then leads to me not being able to listen to their music but i just feel numb evrytime it happens #does any of this make sense #probably not #anyway #i love Harry and louis so much none of this their fault and for the time being I'll be listening to 5sos5 and btm #if you read this Why? #rant #louis tomlinson #harry styles #fuck olivia wilde #using tags as therapy because i cant afford it