#agothorn speaks

[agothorn]

April 22, 2024

Hi, my name is Agothorn and I am a trans inuk. Me and my family are struggling again this month for unable to afford toiletries, dog and cat food, and food. We can only afford to pay rent.

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#agothorn speaks #txt

[honeyedwordsandblades]

Was writing out tags on agothorn's post about Astarion/Tav and how Tav could've been another Sebastian if they had met Astarion before but I got pretty carried away and instead wrote not an essay but a whole goddamn novel??? And did u know Tumblr only lets you put 30 tags top on a post? (And it still wasn't enough, lmao whoops.)

So here are those tags, a bit reformatted to be a text post instead. Thank you in advance if you decide to go on this crazy ride of my dumb ramblings!

--

Honestly, I imagine when they get down there and see all the vampire spawn, all his previous targets/victims (and the other six's I'm sure), Rose immediately thinks back to the beginning of their journey together. Of the early days where she was so smitten and head over heels for Astarion, without really knowing him or his past.

And looking at all his past victims, all in front of her (especially with his interaction with Sebastian), she immediately realizes that if they had met another way, if they had met before the mindflayers kidnapped them all, she would have also been so easily manipulated and played. Lured just like the rest of his victims straight to Cazador. Like a lamb to slaughter. Like a fool lured straight off a cliff. And so happily too. So blissfully unaware and ignorant of her awaiting inevitable fate.

She knows, in that instant, if they had met before instead of when they did, she'd be down here with the rest of his victims. And, more than likely, afterward he would've just completely and entirely forgotten about her. Assumed her dead and had been done with it.

She wouldn't even be a ghost of a memory to haunt him for eternity, for the rest of his undead life. She'd been nothing to him.

(I'd like to believe that wouldn't be true though. He'd remember her just like he remembered Sebastian. Another poor innocent soul that, in their very short time together, she would have undoubtedly left quite the impression and mark upon him. He would always remember her. And, yes, she would absolutely haunt him for the rest of his undead life. Such a naive girl with such a big loving caring heart. How could he ever forget her? And her soft brown-hazel eyes and her lovely up-done brown hair. And the biggest smile he's ever seen. All just for him. Because of him. He'd never truly forget her. But I digress (too much). We're talking about Rose's point of view not Astarion's, lmao.)

She'd mean nothing to him as he found a way to usurp Cazador (if he was able to at all otherwise. But assuming if he did.) and would so easily and readily sacrifice her and all his and his "sibling's" victims in order to become the ~Vampire Ascendant~ .

Because she would mean nothing to him. Or, at least, (after seeing his panic and slight hesitation after talking to Sebastian) he would try to make himself believe that. Push away all the rising guilt suddenly trying to claw itself up from his dead heart and out his throat. Push it all down, hoping it would return from whence it came and just shut up and never return. That this is what he wants. What he's always wanted. (Right?)

And, after they speak with Sebastian, Rose would speak with Astarion personally. An argument as 'old as time' (i.e. as long as their relationship has been) started fresh and anew once more. About Astarion doing the ritual himself. And she would say in no uncertain bitter terms all that i've described above to him, to his face.

And maybe he's thought about it before. About how easy a target she would've been. How she would've been another poor lost soul. Gone. Disappeared into the night. Far from reach from family, from friends, from anyone and everyone. So easily snatched from her life. Not a trace of her to be found. Almost like she never existed. (But he would remember her. Gods, her smile. Her eyes. She would haunt him.)

But now, after seeing Sebastian, seeing all his victims in front of him... Discovering that they hadn't died and were very much (horribly) alive and undead, vampire spawn just like him and his 'siblings'. All of them connected to him, not just as his past victims, but through carved scars just like the one on his back. All for this grim infernal ritual where they would all be sacrificed (including himself if his plan to kill and usurp Cazador in the ritual didn't succeed).

But now presented with Rose's theoretical... To imagine her right alongside Sebastian and all his other victims, in just as terrible and poor a state as they are. And, instead of seeing her lovely brown-hazel eyes, being meet only with undead vampiric red burning straight into his soul... It instantly sends a chill down his spine. And it makes him sick to his stomach to even think, to even imagine such an image.

But Rose presses on, despite his reaction, despite the clear look of horror that passes on his face. And brings his imagination further. Spelling out as clear as she can exactly what her fate would end up being if she had been one of his victims. If he took up the ritual in Cazador's place- She would die. Right alongside all the other vampire spawn. They were meant for sacrifice after all. And that's the role they and, more importantly, she would serve.

He'd have everything. And she would be dead.

Sacrificed for the power he would then have.

He's too stunned to speak, but he knows what she's doing. Her manipulations are too obvious. But perhaps that's the point. She's not trying to manipulate him, she's trying to persuade him. Or better put, she's pleading. Begging him to see the terrible horror of the atrocity he's planning to commit. (As if he doesn't already know. As if he didn't know it all along. Although, admittedly, not at this scale. It was only 6 before, not 7,000.)

All by placing herself in the role of one of his victims.

And he has to admit: It's working.

He'll try to reason with her (twist and manipulate it back). That she's not. And, besides, he's doing it for both of them. So they can both be safe. With such power he can-

She huffs exasperated, disappointed. And she's already shaking her head. Somehow disbelieving that he's coming up with the same excuses as he always has.

But he knows they both heard his voice as he spoke. Quivering, uncertain. Clearly reaching, relying on old scripted justifications. But he still clings tightly to old hopes, old plans.

And, here and now, just before the end, just before the finale, is when she finally pulls out the ultimatum she's been mulling about for ages.

He must not go through with the ritual. If he does... She will ensure he never takes it.

She stares straight into his eyes as she tells him. Eyes (and heart) hardened. Walls up. Back straightened. Looking at him defiantly.

The look of a Hero.

He's only seen her do it a few times before but never to him. And now that she is... Now that he's on the other side of it. Well, he won't lie. A cold feeling of fear runs down his spine. He knows when she's like this that she means every word she says and will absolutely commit to it.

Before he can even speak, she softens, breaks. Pain written plainly across her face.

Ever so softly, she pleads with him not to go through with it (the ritual). She admits she doesn't want to, but she will- end him (What a nice way to say "kill him where he stands". Almost like she can't even bring herself to say it.) And he fully believes her.

Her earlier pleading, her theoretical, may have (deeply) shaken him, but this- This ultimatum... certainly gave him pause.

Although not as much as her next words.

"Please don't make me kill you."

Hushed, soft. An almost whisper that, well- metaphorically speaking, kills him on the spot. Like a stake to his undead heart.

The image of him beginning the ritual and her swinging her sword, one good ol' swing through his neck, his head suddenly gone enters his mind.

She would do it. He knows it.

Would he risk it? Attempt the ritual and, if he succeeds, if she doesn't chop off his head, beg for forgiveness? (Command her to forgive him even? He quickly pushes the thought from his mind.)

But staring into her pained, pleading eyes, her words still echoing in his mind like relentless ghosts haunting him, he knew his choice had been made.

Only a bit reluctantly does he promise her then and there that he would not go through with taking Cazador's place in the ritual. They would stop him and nothing more. Promise.

He can see that Rose is hesitant to believe him but she does relax some. Perhaps naively hoping that he had in fact come to his senses and was actually going to follow through with his promise. (After all, he's made promises before and kept them. Right?)

And he does.

(Although when he finally has the staff in his hands and he hesitates for just a small second, she's very kind to not bring up that moment later on.)

(And yes. She noticed. But after he continues on to save and free all the vampire spawns, both his siblings and those in the cells, she quickly forgets about it. All forgiven.)

#astarion #tav!rose #okay so this just basically turned into some weird form of a fic lmao sorry not sorry haha xD #also absolutely *did not* mean for it to become even *remotely* that long lmao #but thank you for reading it all if u did xD #also sorry if astarion's parts don't sound quite right #i was in the zone writing it before neil's stream today #and afterward just couldn't really back in the headspace for it #tried my best!

[agothorn]

Gale: *dies in combat*

Gale’s Specter:

#agothorn speaks #txt #ago plays video games #bg3 #bg3 gale #sdkljfs;adljkfa #now i can say everyone in my party has died at least once now #including my character zarra

[agothorn]

A cat is just another sibling you can annoy affectionately, and they in turn can also annoy you affectionately

#txt #agothorn speaks #i go see catrick and point at him and talk at him interrupting his nap #and he comes into my room to sniff and stare at me until i notice him and he leaves #true sibling behavior to me

[agothorn]

#txt #my poll #agothorn speaks #bg3 #da #bg3 astarion #da zevran

[agothorn]

#agothorn speaks #bg3 #baldurs gate 3 #baldur's gate 3 #tumblr polls #txt

[agothorn]

I still can't get over the fact that Eugene heard spirits distressed and scared about death they have to experience alone, so he went to plan a whole space city where they can have extra time to enjoy themselves and process their inevitable end with people who want to help them. And he did all that out of pocket, and didn't ask for money in return. He really wanted to help

And all that was ruined bc one capitalist saw it as an opportunity to get rich, then used passed on spirits as a power source to continue the cycle rather than just letting them go peacefully to rest--even to going as far as forcing spirits to pass on prematurely for fuel and money

#agothorn speaks #drawtectives #drawfee #it is 3am and im still thinkin about the finale yall

[agothorn]

My bg3 party is always Tav, Karlach, Astarion and whoever personal quest we are doing/whoever will help the most for a big fight

I cannot separate Karlach and Astarion they're both too important to me and I adore their banter

#agothorn speaks #bg3

[agothorn]

I’m not immune to propaganda

#agothorn speaks #photo #agothorn draws #soapghost #cod mw2

[agothorn]

What is UP

Ya know after season 2 of good omens, I needed a good fanfic--and through a tiktok I found Demonology and the Tri-Phasic Model of Trauma: An Integrative Approach by Nnm

It's a fanfic written from an outsiders perspective--that of a therapist that Crowley sees. And it's so well written. Especially how it tackles trauma in a way that's easy for anyone to understand. And there's something about seeing a character you see pieces of yourself in go to therapy and work hard to process traumas. Catharsis.

This fanfic made me realize there are things I need to work through. And I want to use pieces of this fic with a therapist; a sort of tool.

And ya know, in my heart--this fic is canon no matter what happens in season 3. Because this fic is genuinely a novel, with Aubrey Thyme as it's main character. And I'm certain for a fact that any reader will love this story and her, as she is written with so much care of love by the author. And once you get to the author's notes at the end of the fic, and read:

One must imagine Aubrey Thyme happy.

You will. Because after, how else can you imagine her?

#agothorn speaks #good omens #i cried i grieved i laughed and loved in so many ways while reading this fic #im going to continuously read this fanfic for it has made a home in my heart

[agothorn]

I adore the idea of Karlach and tiefling Tav bonking horns with each other in greeting or general form of affection. Like it's a normal tiefling thing to do. Then the both of them teaching Wyll to do it too since he has horns now.

He isn't good at it at first, but he learns quick. And loves to feel included. After hard won fights you can see his grin as he initiates a headbutt with karlach.

#txt #bg3 #agothorn speaks #tiefling tav karlach and wyll headbutts each other after the big fight with the elder brain #ya know like that one dao fanart of everyone hugging in victory? like that with the bg3 crew but the tieflings and wyll headbutting each #other just before karlach's heart begins to burn out and astarion's skin starts to crack under the sunlight #like a moment of sweet cheering before the bitterness of settles in

[agothorn]

Rb for more data :3c

#agothorn speaks #tumblr polls #bg3 #balders gate 3 #txt

[agothorn]

eat soup to restore hearts

#txt #agothorn speaks #yes i made soup at 1am #i had egg drop soup #it was good now im happy :3

[agothorn]

do not look at me, I will be crying over a lil monkey from a dnd story for the whole day

#agothorn speaks #txt #I just saw the new ep of fools gold #fool's gold dnd

[agothorn]

congrats to jancy for having a wife

#agothorn speaks #txt #drawfee #drawtectives #i love that for her!!!

[agothorn]

Having over 300 hrs in bg3, the game had conditioned me into counting everyone's jump bc I will not go through my adventure thinking everyone is with me when a fight starts and THEN I realized Astarion isn't there bc he didn't do his jump and I didn't notice

If Karlach could piggy back this man as we travel in game, I would love that so I know EVERYONE is here with me

#gotta hand hold everyone as we travel #esp gale and astarion #bg3 #agothorn speaks #agothorn plays