#ah yes wolf’s wonderful track record of telling himself ‘I am so incredibly Fine I can do this’ while his brain says ‘lol. lmao even.’

[whumpacabra]

32. Walk

Anxiety, flinching, panic attack, anticipated violence, implied past captivity, implied past abuse, law enforcement mention, accusations of crimes [larceny], referenced stitches, minor self deprecation

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The Wolf’s steps faltered as he followed Dan out of the diner. His skin crawled at the idea of leaving Harrison behind, but he knew in his gut that it was just the paranoid, terror-blinded part of his brain.

(It had to be, right?)

But the real reason he stopped after a few paces was to look at the snow falling from the gray sky. It crunched under his borrowed boots as he turned, the clouds so perfectly smooth. He involuntarily flinched as Dan’s footsteps return, shaking snow from his thick black hair with a sheepish grin on his lips.

(It almost didn’t feel like a mask. He might have actually been smiling.)

“Haven’t seen snow in a while.” The Wolf started walking again, eyes glued to the gathering slush on the ground.

“You and me both.” Dan huffed, winded by the Wolf’s pace. He slowed and shortened his steps, the way he had for Harrison in the bunker. There wasn’t anything to run from now, no immediate threat on their heels. “Been a cold spring. Too cold and dry - this melt’ll be good for the pastures.”

The Wolf hummed in agreement, hands deep in his wool coat’s pockets. The borrowed clothes from Dan were appreciated, mostly on account of not smelling like blood and sweat and cigarette smoke. Harrison had needed to borrow from Thomas - not that those clothes fit his emaciated frame much better.

“Tommy’s a good kid. He didn’t mean anything by it.” The Wolf glanced over at Dan, blinking away a snowflake caught on his eyelashes. “Been taking care of his sister this last year after their parents passed. He’s, ah, a bit of an idealist, you know?”

The Wolf nodded absentmindedly, glancing at the shop windows they passed on this quaint main street. A cobbler and tailor on one side. A baker and general store on the other. A hairdresser, a post office. So painfully alien and yet so painfully normal.

“Boy was meant to get a law degree out East. Half the reason Cliff hired him was to give the kid a leg up. He was taking their deaths pretty hard.”

“And his sister?” The Wolf felt a chip of curiosity between his teeth, mingled with the sour knowledge that he wasn’t tasked with interrogation. Not here, not anymore, and yet it still drove his question. The more he knew about his allies the better, right?

(It wasn’t selfish, it wasn’t a desperation for leverage to use against them, was it?)

“Toughing it out. She was at the Trautmire’s learning how to take apart a gear assembly when the house went.”

“Fire?”

“Gas explosion. We think anyway - we’re not exactly the FBI out here and there wasn’t much left.” Dan turned toward a gravel road offshoot at the end of the main street, the winding path leading toward the smell of motor oil. “Cliff tried to get the State Troopers to come down but…guess little old Cedar Hills ain’t that interesting.”

A stout, stocky woman who hardly came to the height of the Wolf’s chest was working on a vehicle in the garage. Despite her stature, she appraised him with harsh, untrusting eyes.

“This one of your strays, Dan?”

“Word gettin’ round that fast?”

“I’ve got a humvee soaked in blood in my garage. You think Terry can keep his mouth shut on his rounds?” The woman huffed, wiping her hands off on a rag and tucking it in the top of her coveralls as she hopped down from where she had been elbow deep in a jeep. Tucking back her coppery curls under a headband, she extended a hand, still smudged with the black residue of old grease, to the Wolf.

“Alice.”

The Wolf froze before he could flinch away, hesitating as he felt his stomach drop to his feet. Frustration simmered in his blood - she was a civilian. Why was he scared of a simple handshake?

(He knew why, but that didn’t make the shame burn any less.)

“Wolf’s arm is fucked. Best he doesn’t pull any stitches.” Dan recovered for him smoothly, waving a hand dismissively that caused Alice to drop her own in response.

“Fair enough.” She nodded toward the humvee, starting towards it as she walked. “Forget something in the truck I assume?”

“Actually they’re looking to get out of town.”

Alice glanced from Dan to the Wolf.

“That so?”

“Yes. The sooner the better.”

“What’s the rush?”

“They’re just anxious to get home is all. The truck run?” Dan cut in, once again covering the flash of panic in the Wolf’s eyes when he was faced with such direct confrontation.

(Why did he ever think he could keep up this facade when he was this weak? How was he going to stop the project from hurting people when he was afraid of handshakes and hard eyes?)

“In theory, sure. Filled up the tank and everything.”

“In theory?”

“Forgot to give me the keys, Dan.” Alice laughed shaking her head. “You got ‘em Wolf?”

“No.” He didn’t like the way her face pinched in suspicion at his blunt answer. “Harrison got it started when I was…” He trailed off, glancing down at his arm.

“Why didn’t you bring the guy with the keys, Danny? Christ almighty are you sure you don’t need to go down to the VA for dementia testing?”

“There isn’t a key, Alice.” Dan grit out the words, tension gathering in his shoulders as he shifted and cross his arms. “Can you get it running without ‘em?” Confusion morphed to understanding, and then anger colored her face.

“You had me tow a stolen truck and keep it in my garage?” Alice was incredulous, a bubble of rage rising in her throat as she glared up at Dan. “Since when do you stoop to helping - of course you’d be the one taking in a couple of thieves you bleedin’ heart. Where’s Thomas? Is Cliff back yet or - “

“Alice, please.” Dan’s voice was soft, eyes desperate. The Wolf could barely see him through the tears gathering in his own eyes. Panic had his heart racing against his aching ribs.

“Don’t ‘Alice please’ me old man. You don’t know what else he’s done…”

Her angry snarls were drowned out by the sound of blood rushing in the Wolf’s ears. Dan didn’t know what else he had done. Would he find out? What would he do if he did?

(He knew what Smith would have done.)

What if she called in more police? (The phone lines were down - she couldn’t.) What if she refused to give them the truck back? (The Wolf was frightened by the knowledge that it would be easy compared to stealing it in the first place.) What if -

“Dammit, Wolf - hey, Wolf, son, you need to breathe.” The Wolf looked up, eyes wide as he saw hands coming toward him.

It was sheer instinct.

His legs buckled, knees hitting the concrete floor with a familiar crack. His left arm shielded his face as best it could, compensating for his injured right arm. He tried to make himself small, to protect his still tender torso from further abuse.

(A kick to his already aching ribs would surely make him scream.)

His ears were ringing, implants whining to hear who would come up behind him (he should have at least backed up to a wall first, idiot). But no footsteps came. He could hear the dull thrum of his heart as the panic subsided, arm slowly guided away from his face by gentle hands.

Dan’s hands. Dan was good. Dan was safe.

“You’re alright son, I wasn’t going to - you’re fine.”

The Wolf forced himself to swallow the coppery panic in his throat, thin, shallow breaths sucked between his teeth. He could feel heat creeping up his cheeks, frustration and embarrassment in equal measure as he wrenched away his hand to wipe away the unbidden tears.

“You back with us, son?”

He nodded, wincing as he stumbled back to his feet, stepping back to put distance between himself and them. He needed space - he needed his back against a solid wall - he needed to get out out out -

(Pull it together Wolf. You’re a professional.)

Something about that thought eased the weight in his chest, breaths coming easier and leaving smoother. He glanced up, both offended by and relieve to see pity in Alice’s eyes as she spoke.

“I’ll get it running. One way or another.”

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(An AU of my Freelancers series)

Taglist: @i-eat-worlds @whumpy-daydreams

#whump #anxiety #flinching #panic attacks #anticipated violence #implied past captivity #implied past abuse #law enforcement mention #accusations #stitches #self deprecation #freelancers au #ah yes wolf’s wonderful track record of telling himself ‘I am so incredibly Fine I can do this’ while his brain says ‘lol. lmao even.’ #sorry if this seems lore dumpy everything I post here should be treated as a first draft #and as such I allow myself to just get the words out of my brain and worry about pacing/placement later #…and you’ll be learning a bit more about the good old ‘sheriff’ soon enough ;)