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#ah yes. the intimacy of being emotionally vulnerable with the person who you would trust your life to but never openly say shit to eachother
ohitslen · 11 months
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Promises
He should know better. 
Wolfwood has seen Vash make promises, or hear about the ones he has made in the past. He has also seen the end of each one and how every single time the outcome is less than what was promised. 
Vash likes to say embellished words, with a soft and determined voice that lures you into his hopes and dreams, it almost feels like a spell, as if he was calling for you to come closer and believe him. But Wolfwood knows better.
He believes in him, but Vash is much closer to being an idealistic dreamer than a realistic person like he is. He might not be aware of it, but his beautiful promises of a better future give people hope, a hope that is usually embraced with things like disappointment and abandonment. 
He doesn’t think that Vash does it with the intent of looking for any of those things. Far from it, he might even do the impossible in order to accomplish said promises, but life is too short and humans are too mortal for his wishes, so in the end, most of Vash’s promises end up being empty or they come to haunt him as a reminder of his failed vows. He admires the man, for his perseverance and idealism, but he also hates the man, for his stubbornness and lies. 
Wolfwood knows all of this perfectly to a tee. And yet, he has also found himself being drawn to his world. Because he also dreams of it.
A world in where his always present calls for love and peace exist, a world that is far more kind than what he might deserve, a world in where the kids can be happy and roam around without any worry in their heads, a world in where he can peacefully turn grey with age and his hands can shed the harsh callouses of his life. Who knows, maybe a world in where he and Vash can finally know the peace that was taken away from them, in where they can share the calmness that comes with the passage of time, indulging in every tick of the clock welcoming with open arms whatever comes their way without any fear.
It is a beautiful promise. But Wolfwood is a person that has to keep his feet on the ground, indulging in “what ifs” would only make things harder than what they had to be. He can’t have any ifs if he can’t make it through the now. And by the way he is carrying his present, he is doubtful he will even get to see a shed of that promised world that Vash tries to drag him into. So why mourn something he doesn’t even have, or will ever have for that matter.
He hates the way Vash seems to promise things so easily. His tongue silky and pliant, slipping divine words one after the other, promises way too big for what that barren world can actually fit. 
But when Vash talks to him in that holy voice of his, when he hears him say “It’s okay, everything will be alright, I promise” so gently right on his ear, while he holds his face so tenderly making him focus on him and nothing else, he wants to believe him.
He has seen the end of his promises. He knows how impossible they are. But for once, he wants to believe it too. Believe in that loving world that will cradle them both until they fall asleep, listening to the soft sound of the wind laughing while the moons smile upon them. 
So he allows himself to indulge in the warmth of his palms, leaning into the comfort of his existence, feeling the soft air of Vash’s breaths against his skin while their foreheads meet in a touch that feels like a hot brand that will melt him.
For an instant, he allows himself to be selfish and believe that maybe, that is how living in that world Vash so desperately fights for would be. Soft and warm, making him feel safe in the hollow of Vash’s hands where the world seems to fit so well. A world where the blue sky is a blanket that covers the love and care that is nestled in it like the one in Vash’s eyes. He wants to see that world.
For now, he will selfishly think that the world that fits in Vash’s hands is right there in where he is holding him, where his blue eyes are drowning in the light of the sunset dripping with love and care while looking at him, that the gentle touch of Vash’s thumb wiping his tears is the same as the kiss of that laughing wind in that distant future, where the smile of his eyes overcomes the smile of the moons.
He should know better. But he loves the thought of that world. And he hopes that Vash will get to see that world, because that gentle sight is more fitting for someone like him than the one of his violent world.
He promises to himself that he will do what it takes for that day to be possible. Even if the end of that promise will be empty for Nicholas, he knows it will be a full one for Vash. So it really isn’t that empty for him after all.
He hates his lies, and he hates how true they sound, but Vash’s embellished words are far sweeter than his bitter thoughts so they feel better on his insides, almost like a balm that cares for the wounds of his throbbing, painful reality.
He should know better.
But aren’t humans weak at the promise of love?
#yeah….mm…mhm yeah#my thoughts were going crazy with this one. because WW crying is something that has me week on the knees#WEAK FFS#also the thought of him becoming bare and emotional at the hands of Vash makes me want to jump around until I pass out#think of it. he is afraid of him in a way. but he trusts him so deeply too it’s such a contrasting and little contradictory thing#more like. denial after denial but yk what I mean. because that’s the whole post#also as a fun fact. while on the making of this thing the line of “it’s okay. everything will be alright. I promise#it’s meant to be said by Vash to WW#but also I did it considering that a)Vash is saying it to himself as well and b)it’s something WW wants to say to Vash as well#they are both incredibly pained men and they know it but don’t adress it. so verbally saying such words to each other issssUUUEHWHAGAH#ah yes. the intimacy of being emotionally vulnerable with the person who you would trust your life to but never openly say shit to eachother#isn’t that such an amazing flavor? I won’t lie to you it’s one of my favorites#trigun#vashwood#vash the stampede#nicholas d wolfwood#trigun stampede#trigun fanart#wolfwood#nicholas trigun#nicholas the punisher#lenssi writes#lenssi draws#trigun 2023#trigun 98#because I did a mishmash on WW design bc this is meant to be TriStamp time skip in my mind#his eyes were originally their canon steel blue/grayish tone. but while doing the lighting the brown looked gorgeous#i couldn’t help myself so I left it that way. because there is something so beautiful abt his eyes shining like that in#the afternoon light while he becomes undone under the sunset ya feel me?#OHFUCKIALMOSTFORGOT another little detail. Vash’s right hand doesn’t have a glove and it’s on purpose btw you’re welcome
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oceangenasi · 3 years
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D&P and Merther for the shipping ask game???
Yax I would die for you except you’d probably stop me from dying with your EMT wizardry and then where would we be
🖤 D/P 💙
1. What made you ship it? I have eyes? But seriously, I like to joke about how my ships are either softboys and their badass women or queerbait m/m angst.... and then there’s this shining exception. A canon m/m ship that gets a love story and a happy ending :’’’) I started watching the show very casually, knowing David was queer but not that D/P was endgame and then the next thing I knew I had ascended to another plane of existence
2. What are your favorite things about the ship? I am never not thinking about the Dynamic... it’s the complementary aspects of their personalities for me!
You’ve got David: flamboyantly queer and deeply dramatic, who’s had intense emotions his whole life that have scared people away but he’s also brave and unique and creative and wonderful. He’s everything that Patrick didn’t know he needed. He’s been hurt a lot of times and he almost doesn’t believe that he’s capable of being loved so wholly and completely. Enter Patrick.
Patrick is so straight-laced and repressed and invested in being well-liked that he had built up a whole seemingly perfect life that was making him deeply unhappy. I don’t think that even Patrick knew he was capable of loving David the way he does, because he hadn’t cast off his old life and gone on that emotional journey until he met David. His “you make me feel right” speech is my favorite bit of the entire show. Patrick found himself in finding David.
They balance each other: Patrick grounds David, providing him the unconditional love that David can flourish with, and David brings beauty and color into Patrick’s life.
I also adore how much casual intimacy they get on screen, all the kisses and shoulder touches. It’s incredibly healing to watch after so much queer angst and suffering, when we get representation at all.
3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship? Yeah, Patrick’s not perfect. I get very pissy when people trash David for his actions surrounding the barbecue and/or the wedding and imply he was being unfair/selfish -- because even if he was, Patrick has a responsibility to communicate his concerns if he wants David to respond to them. Patrick has a tendency to avoid/repress his feelings and that can be incredibly damaging in a relationship if not addressed. David can’t read Patrick’s mind, nor should he be expected to. He doesn’t need to magically intuit Patrick’s distress from Patrick’s micro-expressions or whatever the fuck -- Patrick needs to step up and tell David when he doesn’t like David’s behavior. Yes, I’m projecting like hell when it comes to this but it is something that made me furious during season 6 and the discourse surrounding it.
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💙 Merthur ❤
1. What made you ship it? I watched the first episode and was like “oh wow this show is even gayer than I’d heard it was.” No but seriously... fellas, is it gay to be literally and canonically someone’s other half? Fellas, is it gay to stare intensely into each other’s eyes at every given opportunity? Fellas, it is gay to dedicate your entire life to serving and protecting someone? Fellas, is it--
2. What are your favorite things about the ship? ah jeez where do I even start... Arthur is Merlin’s whole world. Merlin’s magic is “only for Arthur” and Merlin’s magic is... everything he is. I literally don’t know how you could read that as Merlin not being in love with Arthur. I genuinely and honestly think this interpretation is backed up by commentary by the actors and writers: Merlin loves Arthur, and that’s not even a point of debate. I adore Merlin as a character (son boy baby sweetheart sunshine child) and his unwavering faith in Arthur, his dedication, his tenderness, the years spent protecting someone who didn’t even know how much Merlin had done for him.... it gets me good.
And then there’s what Merlin is to Arthur! Setting aside the stuff Arthur doesn’t know about, which I will talk about in a moment, Merlin is possibly the only person in Arthur’s life who has always, always treated him as a person first and a prince second. Merlin’s unwavering faith and freely given friendship are because he sees the best in Arthur, not because of Arthur’s hereditary right to the throne. Merlin is Arthur’s first and truest friend -- I know the knights and Gwen care for him, but there is a component of social discrepancy to their relationship that Merlin simply has ignored. Merlin’s disrespect is because he fundamentally views Arthur as his equal, which is a gift Arthur didn’t even know he needed. Arthur was touch-starved, emotionally repressed, and incredibly lonely before Merlin came into his life. (Yes, the similarities between my two OTPs are well-known to me.) Just because Arthur struggles to express his emotions (thanks, Uther) and doesn’t have the same plot opportunities as Merlin to show how much he’d sacrifice for Merlin, doesn’t mean he doesn’t love Merlin as deeply as Merlin does him. This is why I like writing Arthur POV so much -- I like describing how fundamental and immutable a concept Merlin is to him. He takes Merlin for granted, yes, because there is literally nobody else that he is so vulnerable around or trusts so completely. This is why the magic reveal was so temporarily devastating to Arthur -- it broke something he’d built his entire life around. Or at least, that’s what he thought.
3. Is there an unpopular opinion you have on your ship?
Canon is a trash fire and I hate a lot of things about season 5, because it had some stellar opportunities that got rushed and squished by the way they timed the plot.... but I actually really, really like the finale. I think that considering what they’d done with the plot up to that point, it was brilliantly executed and gorgeously acted. There wasn’t enough time to do everything I would have liked with the magic reveal*, but in the last episode they hit every one of my buttons at least once. Arthur witnessing a competent Merlin, Arthur experiencing realistic grief and anger but being able to see how deeply Merlin loves him... Setting aside the plotholes and the timing, the people who made the show realized what was critically important in the finale, and it was digging deep into the relationship between Merlin and Arthur. This is why it completely and totally wrecks me, incidentally, and why I can’t watch the last part of the episode because it actually unhinges me too much. I’m not joking, I went into some kind of grief spiral the first time I saw it that took me a literal week to recover from. I care about things too much and feel my feelings too intensely, but we been knew.
Oh, and an even spicier opinion on later seasons/the finale: I don’t think that Morgana “isn’t really evil” or that her fall was “unnecessary.” I think that Morgana was indeed capable of being a fiercely good and loving person, but I also think that people with the kind of anger she carries can be dragged into some very dark places. I don’t think it was unrealistic, I think it was painful to watch, and there’s a difference. She didn’t get the support she needed -- she was gaslighted, manipulated, and tortured -- and I think that the same person who could be good in another situation is absolutely capable of becoming monstrous, considering the hand she was dealt. I have very similar opinions on her as I do on Anakin Skywalker, which is to say: her evil was both believable and tragic. She was a product of her circumstances, but her actions are not excusable, and she is responsible for how she responded to her trauma.
*I can and will read every damn magic reveal on ao3 because it’s really important to me that Arthur understand what Merlin has done for him. Truly, truly conceptualizes how crucial Merlin has been in helping him build his kingdom. That’s the one thing that I wanted to see so badly that never happened in canon.
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russellthornton · 6 years
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How to Get into a Relationship: 13 Steps to a Deeper Connection
Most single people want to know how to get into a relationship. Anyone can have a partner, that’s the easy part. The hard part is finding the right one.
For a majority of my time being single, I thought about what it would be like to have a boyfriend and how to get into a relationship. You know, someone to cuddle with and have late night talks with—a partner.
Of course, instead of opening myself up, I thought a friends-with-benefits is easier than actually finding someone. But, I was wrong. In fact, having casual sex just made me less open with people because you’re forced to be emotionally closed. [Read: How does being friends with benefits actually work out?]
How to get into a relationship
Now, flash forward to my relationship now. Let me tell ya, it wasn’t easy. I’m surprised he’s still with me at times. What I realized is that finding a boyfriend isn’t necessarily hard. However, finding someone you actually want to open up to and be with—well, that’s the hard part.
If you want to be with someone, make sure that what you’re doing is the right thing. You won’t really find out until you do it. Yeah, no one tells you that in the beginning. But if you’re into someone right now and you want to know how to get into a relationship, there are a couple things you need to do. Don’t worry, it’s as complicated as we like to think it is.
#1 Know yourself. This is easier said than done, but it’s something that you need to focus on before going into a relationship. Who are you?
Before going into a relationship, you should have a good understanding of your emotions and sexuality. No one else is going to understand you the way you understand yourself. They may bring out certain emotions in you, but at the end of the day, you’re alone with your thoughts. [Read: How to really get to know yourself and your passions]
#2 Don’t just do it for sex. If you want to be in a relationship because of the sex, well, that’s not going to work. You need to want to be with them because you enjoy spending time with them and have an emotional connection with them. You don’t need to be in a relationship just for sex. Having sex with someone will not create a deep emotional connection, the connection that you’re looking for. [Read: How to know if you’re feeling romantic attraction or something else]
#3 Be open to what you want. If you’re talking to someone you’re interested in, and you want a relationship with them, tell them. You need to be open about what you want. If they only want something casual, understand that that’s not what you want.
You have to be firm with yourself in terms of achieving your goals. Right now, your goal is a relationship, not something casual. Don’t lower your needs.
#4 Make it a priority. If you’re really wanting a relationship, you’re going to have to invest time and energy in finding someone to be with. This means you’ll need to go on dates, go out, talk to people. You know, make yourself available. This doesn’t mean you need to be desperate and constantly searching for love, but you need to change your lifestyle so that you can allow love to enter in it. [Read: How to find love – Understanding the secret law of attraction]
#5 Be vulnerable. Ah yes, vulnerability. Trust me, I thought I was open but then I go into a relationship and realized that I was so closed. If you want a relationship, you’re going to have to be vulnerable with that person. The only way to create intimacy and a deep connection are through vulnerability. This means you need to take down those walls of defense because they’re not helping anyone. [Read: How to be vulnerable in a relationshiP and grow closer instantly]
#6 Look at dating differently. You may have a negative view of dating. It’s boring and a waste of time, but how do you think you’re going to meet someone without dating them first? How do you expect you’ll get to know them?
You need to start changing the way you think about dating because right now, your mindset isn’t getting you what you want. You need to change because a person who is in a relationship doesn’t think the same as a single person.
#7 This may not be the one. When going into a relationship, don’t think to yourself about this person being the one. That’ll only create pressure and worry about something you don’t need to be concerned about. If you want to get into a relationship, the most important thing is that you have feelings for this person. The rest of the stuff you can worry about later on. For now, you’re trying to get to know them. [Read: How to find the one by changing the way you see things]
#8 Don’t have high expectations. This is where we have a tendency to mess up. After countless romantic comedies, you have an expectation of what your partner should act and be like. But life isn’t based on everything going smoothly. You may enter this relationship and have it last a lifetime or a couple of months. When things aren’t going your way, you can’t always throw in the towel. [Read: 14 unrealistic expectations that can ruin your love life]
#9 Accept the downs. Of course, in the beginning, everything is beautiful and amazing, but when you’re in a relationship, you get to see the entire picture of your partner. They’re going to have flaws just like you. Now, if you really don’t like the flaws and can’t handle them, then they’re not for you. But if these are flaws you can accept, just accept them because they’re not going anywhere.
#10 You’re going to have to compromise. Ugh, what a horrible word. Believe me, once you’re in a relationship, you’ll understand. But seriously, you’re going to have to compromise. Yes, you want to go out with your friends tonight, but your partner had a promotion and wants to celebrate. So, you’ll have to see your friends tomorrow.
Did you want to go out with your friends tonight? Yes, but you have to start looking at these small things because they matter. It’s not just about you anymore. [Read: Compromise in relationships and 12 ways to give without losing]
#11 Deal with your baggage. We all have our own personal baggage from the past, but if you really want this relationship to work or even to get into a relationship, you’re going to have to start digging through the past and throwing out some unwanted baggage. It’s going to be hard but if you want this relationship, you don’t want your past to influence it.
#12 Don’t forget about you. Getting into a relationship has the ability to completely distract us from ourselves. Suddenly, your life is all about them, and the fact is, that’s not what a relationship is about.
If you want to get into a relationship, you need to respect and love yourself. This means you shouldn’t be running after them like a dog. Make sure your boundaries are not crossed and you have time for yourself. [Read: These signs say you are spending too much time together]
#13 Enjoy it. If you want to know how to get into a relationship, the most important thing is that you’re enjoying your time with this person. Because once you’re in a relationship, you’re going to be seeing much more of them. You have to actually like this person enough to want to get to know them more.
[Read: Have you ever wondered why you can’t find love?]
Now that you know how to get into a relationship, you won’t be so stressed when finding a partner. Remember, it’s not about being in a relationship, it’s about being with the right person.
The post How to Get into a Relationship: 13 Steps to a Deeper Connection is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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russellthornton · 7 years
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Couple’s Sleeping Position Guide: 12 Positions and What They Mean
What is the state of your relationship? A couple’s sleeping position says a lot about their relationship. Which one is yours, and what does it mean?
Remember when your mom lectured you on how important sleep is? Well, she’s been right this whole time. She probably didn’t mean it in the context of a couple’s sleeping position, but that’s open to interpretation.
You may spend every night lying beside your partner with your phone in your hand and back facing towards them or maybe you nuzzle into your partner’s shoulder, cuddling together until you fall asleep.
Believe it or not, the sleeping positions you and your partner have reveals a lot about your subconscious. In fact, while you’re sleeping, this is the time when your subconscious has full control and clearly shows you, through body-language, things that may be going on within your relationship.
And you know what? You probably don’t even notice. So, to find out what’s really going on in your relationship, off to the bedroom! I won’t be in the bedroom with you, but I’ll help guide you through the things you need to look at when sleeping next to your partner.
Couple’s sleeping position guide – What do these sleeping positions mean?
Here are the twelve most common couple’s sleeping positions and what they signify in your relationship. Don’t freak out if you sleep with your back facing your partner, it doesn’t mean your relationship is doomed.
If anything, this is a great opportunity to become more self-aware about your relationship. Let the unraveling of your subconscious begin *insert mystical music and smoke machine here*.
#1 The spoon. Ah yes, the spoon—one of the classic couple’s sleeping positions. Funny thing is, only 18% of couples actually enjoy sleeping in that position. I mean, as a female, the thought of a man draping his whole body around me for eight hours is dreadful.
But this position, also known as the “traditional position,” shows protectiveness and bonding within the relationship. Also, it’s a pretty sexual position when you look at it, so usually couples who are sexually comfortable sleep in this position. [Read: How to spoon right: 11 tips to make spooning more intimate]
#2 The loose spoon. This is the type of spooning I can handle. It’s basically the traditional spooning position; however, there’s some space between the couple. It’s an evolved spooning position. The space between the couple shouldn’t be seen as something troubling.
In fact, this actually shows there is trust built between the two people, and they don’t need to have constant physical contact. If you sleep in the position with your partner, there’s a mutual respect and agreement to the importance of sleep. Hurrah for space!
#3 The chasing spoon. Half of you probably sighed and thought, “I still have to chase them.” It’s not exactly like that. The chasing spoon looks like a traditional spooning position, but the person being “chased” moved away from the center of the bed, meaning the other one will have to “chase” them to get close.
This doesn’t mean your partner isn’t interested in you or is distancing themselves. This could simply mean they want more space in the bed, or that they want to be pursued by you. Time to make your move… I guess the chase is still on. [Read: How to keep your partner interested – 30 effortlessly easy and sexy ways]
#4 The tangle. I cannot understand people who sleep in this position. Maybe I’m bitter or maybe I just love sleep too much, but this doesn’t look comfortable. However, if you and your partner sleep in the tangle position, this symbolizes your desire for each other.
It’s an extremely intimate position and usually used by couples who are in a new relationship. However, if you’re a year into the relationship and you’re still sleeping like this, you may want to think about your dependency on them.  [Read: 16 non-sexual touches to feel connected and loved]
#5 The back kissers. Essentially, you fall asleep facing back-to-back, however, with your backs touching each other. Though you’re not facing each other, the fact that you’re both touching each other shows your connectedness even though you enjoy your own space.
This position is usually for new couples or for couples who’ve been together for a while and developed trust and comfort within the relationship.
#6 The unraveling knot. If you were a Girls/Boy Scout, this is a great way to test your developed knot tying skills. This position is similar to the loose spoon. Typical for couples who’ve been together for a solid chunk of time.
Basically, they start out entangled in each other and eventually untangle, ending up in their own space. Not a very popular position, I mean, who wants another person breathing into your face for hours on end. However, this position symbolizes the balance between independence and intimacy. [Read: How to give space in a relationship without drifting apart]
#7 The liberty lovers. This is another addition to the classic couple’s sleeping positions. Usually this is a regular position for couples who have some years under their belt. The liberty lovers sleep back-to-back and also have space between them. I know, I know, you’ve been biting your nails anxiously at the position.
This one actually shows your bond and security with your partner. If your partner is all the way on the other side of the bed, right on the edge, this could indicate some distance and issues within your relationship. [Read: The importance of space in a relationship]
#8 The nuzzle. The nuzzle is a classic position for those in new relationships or rekindled relationships. This position is when one partner sleeps on the other’s chest. As a female, having a large arm wrapped around me makes me feel protected and cared for—brings me back to the caveman days.
This is exactly what this position symbolizes. The partner sleeping on their back illustrates confidence and shows that they’re protecting their partner. While the person resting on the other’s chest shows that they’re independent, yet appreciative of their partner. [Read: 35 not-so-obvious things your guy loves about you]
#9 The leg hug. There’s a lot of if’s and but’s about the leg hug. Okay, so let’s go through this one together. If only one person is hugging the other’s leg, this shows they’re looking for a connection lacking in the relationship.
If you both have your legs intertwined in each other’s, then this means you’re sexually and emotionally connected, and you two are balanced individuals.
Thirdly, this position also means that since the contact between you two is subtle, it implies you have mixed feelings about the relationship, or you’re trying to maintain a connection. Yeah, I know, it’s a lot at once.
#10 The space hog. Well, this is just rude. Not only is it rude, it shows you what kind of person they are. If they’re taking up the whole bed and stealing all of the blankets, this shows their need to take. Meaning, they’re probably selfish and not aware of your needs.
If one person takes over the whole bed, it shows they’re likely the dominant one in the relationship, while the other one is the submissive.
Another fun fact: if your partner’s head is higher, closer to the headboard, then they’re more likely more confident than the other. However, if you both sleep with your heads at the same, it shows you are like-minded. [Read: Selfishness in relationships: 15 tips to do the right thing]
#11 The shingles. Who doesn’t love shingles? Yeah, I don’t know who decided the name for this position, but this position in no way has anything to do with a nerve infection. The shingles is when both partners sleep on their backs, with one person resting their head on the other’s shoulder.
Interestingly enough, people who sleep on their backs usually have larger-than-life personalities, so this sleeping position signifies who the protector is and who the dependent is in the relationship.
Okay, don’t freak out and think you’re weak because you rest your head on your partner’s shoulder at night. This isn’t the case, actually, it shows the roles in the relationship. [Read: 25 must-follow relationship rules for happy love]
#12 The stomach snoozers. Unless you’ve always slept on your stomach or suffer from neck and back issues, you may want to double check your relationship. When you sleep on your stomach, essentially you’re protecting the front of your body.
This shows signs of emotional insecurity and vulnerability and anxiety. If you sleep on your stomach, more likely it’s because you fear facing your emotions. Also, I mean, this position isn’t what I would call intimate. Perhaps, there’s a trust issue within your relationship that you need to confront.
[Read: 20 things happy couple don’t do in a perfect relationship]
When you wake up in the morning, take a look at how you and your partner are sleeping. Don’t freak out if it’s a position that is somewhat questionable. This will help you identify what you need to work on in your relationship.
The post Couple’s Sleeping Position Guide: 12 Positions and What They Mean is the original content of LovePanky - Your Guide to Better Love and Relationships.
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