#alas i love my obsessive guard dog characters

[yinyuedijun]

I am the absolute biggest failure at writing blank readers like I am trying to make this alpha mc as bland as possible (and they kind of are objectively ldjslsajwkal) but they are still very distinct in an unrelatable way 😔

#i cannot relate to them because their vibe is turning out to be less cringefail than i intended #they kind of have the energy of quanxi but also the energy of a non-marastruck blade #rip mc you could be getting so much pussy if u werent whipped for this sad blonde man . tragic for them #alas i love my obsessive guard dog characters #yueshuo

[tealquacks]

Starting with a Heart...

Docthor day 5: Monstrous.

This is really fucking weird

@lostcybertronian

It stopped pulsating after three minutes, the longest Author had gotten. He looked up from his journal as it stopped moving on the table, laying still in a sinewy, bloody hunk, resting in a halo of fluorescent light. Cursing, he tore the page out of his journal, watching the heart on the table fade into nothingness, as if it wasn’t even there. Then, he sat perfectly still, silently fuming. Damn. Damn! He’d gotten close this time. The first attempts were much more pathetic, quivering things that flopped like a fish instead of properly pumping. Whatever he was doing wrong was minute, precise, necessary, and fucking stupid.

He looked over at the journal, copying the words he had written. They shone gold, a heart being made on the table bit by bit, stuttering before pumping, pumping. Loud enough to hear from under the floorboards. Author chuckled at his own joke, watching the heart and the clock ticking on the wall. He held his breath, as if one motion could stop it again.

“Honey?”

Author jumped at his voice, nearly falling out of his chair as he turned to see Edward in the doorway. Author stood. His hair was flipped to the other side, staring at him with soft, sleepy eyes. A white blanket slung around his shoulders was the only scrap of clothing he wore, Author peeking at the bruises and bitemarks trailing down his neck and chest, lips still swollen from god knows how many kisses.

“Edward-“

“You promised you’d stay, and I woke up alone. Come back to bed, pumpkin...” he trailed off, looking past him. Author cringed.

“Is that a heart?”

Author squeezed his eyes shut. “Yes, dear.”

“A human heart?”

“A crude replica of one-“

Edward snorted. Authors eyebrows shot up. Suddenly, he was walking to the table and taking the heart in his hand, staring at it with his soft, sleepy eyes. Blood poured down his arm, then reached the blanket. He held it close to his face and stared into the gaping holes where invisible veins stuck out, shaking his head rhythmically.

“Firstly,” he whispered, voice still rumbling and heavy with sleep, “you made it too big. If you’re trying to make a human, it should be roughly the size of a fist. But this? It’s the size of two fists. Either way- I think the main problem is that you have no central nervous system, and the blood isn’t being oxidized at all. And it’s beating too fast.”

Author blinked, eyes transfixed on the blood pouring down his arm, staining the blanket, all while Edward stared, cold and clinical. The heart was red in the harsh light, held aloft in Edwards hand. Alas, poor Yorik, I knew him well…

He set the heart on the table and slinked up behind him, bloody hands resting on Author’s hips, sending chills down his spine. His breath caught in his throat.

“Y-you’re not scared? Or- or mad?” Author whispered.

“Curious,” Edward breathed, his lips grazing Authors neck. “Go on, continue writing. Make lungs. Make it breathe.”

Author’s head spun, hands shakily writing words, conjuring flesh out of nothingness, shaping it through words alone. Edwards voice rattled on in his ear, hypnotizing and heavy, saying yes, go on, make them breathe; there are filters in the lungs, honey. Make sure it’s connected to the heart, honey. Oh, that’s beautiful. Good. Fascinating.

The fluorescent light buzzed louder than any word they whispered, beating heart soon sequestered away in heaps of flesh. Between two lungs, shrouded in a thin, silky membrane. Ribs guarded the chest, then muscle and meat and finally, skin. Edwards head rested heavy on his shoulder. His hands rested under his shirt, now, wet blood on his skin. He thought to that night, when he came home with his story carved in his skin. Edward was naked and bloody, but he had been clean. Clean.

His body pressed against his, the words in his ear- he was drowning in blood. The stench of it. The rush of it coursing through his ears. With a soft noise, the blanket fell to the ground.

“I never knew you could make life,” Edward whispered, nipping his earlobe, “I always thought you were stuck killing, and that’s why you do it. I like seeing this side. You could stop hurting people, make life instead.”

Author was mum, his tongue a lump of lead in his mouth. A future laid itself in front of him, one where he stopped this endless hunt, created life instead of taking it, Edwards breath hot on his neck. He gave the creature fur. Gave it a proper brain. Edward suggested another pair of legs to support the body, hand gently brushing through Authors hair. A little bit of blood dropped from his hair to the page.

“Sorry,” Edward giggled. Author laughed in spite of himself, knees almost giving out as Edward kissed his jaw. His hand jerked, the monster spasming. He could hear Edward gasp. The thing was breathing.

It was a huge, hairy beast that looked almost like an insect, six muscular legs jutting out of its sides. Knife like claws scratched the table as it fell to the floor with a tile cracking thud. The spine curved perfectly, ending with a long panther tail, swaying gently like grass in the wind. Its head rose up, looking at the both of them with huge eyes. They were blood red. There were too many of them. It opened its mouth as if yawning, huge white teeth harshly gleaming in the light.

Author tried to step back, Edward holding him in place.

“See? I knew you could do it,” Edward said. His voice kept him steady. “I knew that you could be good. That you could make life instead of taking it. Why kill, when you can create?”

“I have to,” Author choked out. Edwards grip on his hip tightened.

“Why?”

“They’re for my stories-“

“Why not make a story where good things grow and live? A happy one. No killing, none. Have you considered that you could make your characters happy?”

The creature growled, deep and low.

“And what have they done to deserve that? Lied and cheated and whored themselves out. Why should they be happy when I’m… Nevermind. Liars. Cheaters. Whores. Bastards. All humans are the same.”

“Are you calling me a whore?”

“I’m calling you a human. An irrational, emotional human.”

“You’re human too, dear.” Edward felt too warm against him. Like a fire behind a door.

“Let me go.”

“Not until you listen to me.” His voice was gentle, despite his words being daggers. “You’re as human as I am. That may make you a liar, a cheat, a whore, irrational, emotional, whatever you think that means, but that’s all you are, a human. See-“ Edward grabbed one of Authors shaking hands, and pressed it against his own chest. He felt a dull thudding. “-You have a heart, too.”

The creature was circling around, restlessly. Black fur shone like hot tar under the cruel light. Drool sloshed from its maw.

“I am a god.”

“Then be a benevolent one.”

Author turned around, mouth open and ready to argue, but then he was being yanked close by Edward and kissed hard, hands covered with dried blood tracing their way over his spine, one resting at his hip. The creature howled behind them, broken and loud, Edward tilting his head to get a better angle. Something hot dripped down his face. He yanked away, and felt his face. Licked his hand. It tasted like salt.

“Why are you crying?” Author whined like the monster behind him, heart thudding in his ear.

Edward shook his head, face dry.

“It’s okay, honey-“

“No it fucking isn’t!” Author sobbed. Edward stepped back, eyes wide and lips still swollen. He looked pitiful- no. He was pitying him.

“You can talk to me. Please. Just talk to me.”

“I’ve been trying to talk to you! But no matter what I say or what I do, you never listen to me. For the last time- I’m not human! I’m above them! I am a god!”

“Then be a benevolent one!” Edward screamed. The room fell silent. He was panting like a dog, chest heaving and hands bloody. “You’re so obsessed with death and power and it’s tearing me apart, I can’t bear to see you go out and kill and kill without end… but look,” he crossed the room, reaching a hand out to the monster Author had made, “you can make life. You can be good, benevolent.”

“I didn’t do this to be good!”

“Then why did you do it?”

The monster made strange, metallic noises, grating and loud, scraping his ears and echoing on the walls-

“So I wouldn’t be alone! That thing? That’s my clone! A monster made of words!”

“You’re not fucking alone! You have me!”

“Edward, you don’t love me.”

The room was silent. Authors chest heaving. Edward was still looking at him so, so sadly, and he was starting to cry, too. Author wanted to explain, tell him about all the pages in the journal, all the time he spent writing their love, but it died on his tongue when Edward came close, gently pressing a kiss to his lips.

“We can talk about this in the morning,” he whispered, trailing his fingers on Authors shirt before walking away, shutting the door behind him. The monster made a strange noise, scratching the tiles, leaving deep grooves.

A monster made of words.

He looked down at his hands. They were free of blood, but not clean. He wiped his face, letting out another choked sob, trying to make it sound like a growl at the last minute. The monster rolled over onto its back like a dog, the blood red eyes intelligent and clear as a lake. Benevolent. Life giving. Pathetic. So wrapped up in himself he couldn’t see the truth. Edward’s blanket was a loose husk on the floor. Without another word, he turned his back on the beast and grabbed his bat, swinging it around, and around, and around.

He could take his benevolence and he could fucking have it.

-

Edward kept walking to their room even as the sounds of howls and cracking bone echoed through the building. Bim’s door swung open.

He ignored it.

“What the hell is going on?”

“Oh,” Edward whispered, not caring he was naked, “just a thunderstorm.”

“My mom always told me thunderstorms are what happened when god was angry.”

Edward stopped in his tracks. He looked down at his hands, covered in dry blood, then back to Bim.

“No, not angry. Just lonely. Just lonely.”

—

That morning, Author and Edward woke up together, bloody fingers intertwined.

“You’re not alone,” Edward whispered, “I’m here. I’ve always been.”

Author made a noise in his sleep, and he knew he couldn’t hear him.

“You’re not a monster,” he continued, brushing dried tears off Authors face, “just... misled.”

Nothing. At least there wasn’t a denial.

“I love you,” he whispered, even though he knew he wouldn’t get any response, even if Author was awake. Slowly, he pressed his head to his chest, Author’s heartbeat thrumming in his ears.

“You have a heart, my love.”

#docthorweek2k19 #the author #cyndago the author #dr. iplier #docthor #ya boy writes #bim trimmer #this is a weird one #and ~2000 words #tw blood

[ramblesandmumblesofanerd]

Rambling Reviews: Equestria Girls

Text Version: When you’re running a toy company, sometimes you have to take risks. In order to sell more merchandise, you need to offer a product with a fresh, appealing look, especially if it is part of a popular franchise. This needs to be done in such a way that you make a better impression than the competition from the moment the potential customer sees your product on the shelf. But sometimes, when you take a risk, it might blow up in your face in an unexpected way. Enter Equestria Girls, Hasbro’s sub franchise within My Little Pony. In order to keep up with Mattel’s Monster High toy line, a line of iconic monster girl dolls attending high school, Hasbro decided to give My Little Pony a new toy line with a similar premise. As I said in the prologue, the adult fanbase flipped their collective lid about this, but that didn’t matter to Hasbro as the Bronies were not the targeted demographic to begin with. They wanted to take the risk, appeal to the intended demographic and use the film in order to explain the context of the dolls. Does this marketing tactic work? Can the film stand on it’s own without the dolls? Or does Equestria Girls fail as both a commercial and a movie? Well...let’s find out.

We begin this film in Equestria’s Crystal Kingdom, where Twilight and the Mane 6 have been summoned for Twilight Sparkle’s first ever “Princess Summit”, as she just became an Alicorn Princess in the previous season’s finale. And no sooner do they step inside the castle than their glorious leader Princess Celestia sends them off to bed. How compelling.We do have a brief moment of character development for Twilight, as she is worried about being a leader. Her anxieties are wreaking havoc on her mind, but her faithful companion, the baby dragon Spike, is there to help keep her calm...until a unicorn thief sneaks past Equestria’s always inept security forces in the dead of night to steal Twilight’s crown/Deus Ex Machina device- I mean Element of Harmony. Before Twilight does anything smart like, I don’t know, levitate the crown out of the thief's bag, both it and the the thief disappear through a mirror ala Through the Looking Glass style. ...Actually, that would be cool. Screw Equestria Girls, give me that Alice in Wonderland crossover!No, we don’t get that. Instead, we get a story from Celestia about a former student of hers who was basically the most selfish mare the Princess had undertaken. This would later be expanded upon in IDW’s The Fall of Sunset Shimmer, an eight page comic which basically shows how Sunset became obsessed with power and how she came to learn about the mirror’s powers. What are those powers? Well, apparently once every thirty moons, or approximately 819 days/2.5 years, the mirror grants access to an alternate world, and now Sunset has taken a magical item from Equestria into it. This does raise a question for me, and correct me if I am wrong: wouldn’t the crown not work since Sunset now has it? We know the elements don’t work without their designated owner thanks two Part 2 of The Return to Harmony where Spike was “the new Rainbow Dash” due to circumstances. So, where’s the harm in Sunset having the crown?

Regardless, Twilight must retrieve her crown...alone. Why alone? Well, Celestia says something about “maintaining the balance between the two worlds”, but I think we’ll soon see the real reason why in a bit. So, Twilight takes a leap of faith and jumps into the mirror alone...until Spike proves he’s much more loyal to his friend than the Elements and jumps in after her. Way to be upstaged by the comedy relief, ladies. And it is here where the marketing truly begins, as the “alternate world” is the human world, where Twilight has been transformed human while Spike turns into a dog. I would make a joke asking where Twilight’s clothes came from, but that is the least of my worries right now.After a slightly humorous scene where Twilight has to learn how to walk like a human, we discover that the mirror has led her to a high school, where every student is a human version of a character from Equestria. Trixie, Vinyl Scratch, the Cutie Mark Crusaders, even that out of place guard from the Crystal Castle. 

Oh, I never mentioned him? Well, allow me to rectify that.

Ladies and gents, this blue haired rockstar is Flash Sentry, or as the butthurt side of the brony fandom likes the call him: The Waifu Stealer. Yeah, when people heard this film would feature a love interest, the REALLY dedicated fans went berserk and have thus labeled Flash as their equivalent to the Anti-Christ. In all honesty, I just feel bad for the character, because while his role is partially dedicated to creating a love interest between him and Twilight, he does have other functions within the film. For example, from the moment they met he has honestly been the nicest guy in the room, picking Twilight up after she is all but trampled by his classmates.After a brief introduction to Flash, we get our first song which is...pretty bland. Remember when Nostalgia Critic did Disneycember and reviewed Brother Bear? He pointed out that songs which explain what is going on and what we should feel detract from the movie, and I feel that point applies to not only this song, but at least three others (the one exception being the earworm that is the Cafeteria Song). How much more effective would this scene where Twilight is studying humans through observation be if there were no lyrics to the song, just music? 

Mercifully, the song is short and we get to see Sunset Shimmer in human form harassing a human version of Fluttershy. After Twilight stands up to Sunset and with neither of the Equine Invaders recognizes one another, Fluttershy talks about how she turned in a crown that had appeared behind her earlier that morning to the principal’s office. In the office, Principal Celestia (yes, she’s here too) tells Twilight that the crown will only be rewarded to the Fall Formal princess, which Sunset has always been in previous years. The weird thing about this moment is that Principal Celestia doesn't even question where Twilight came from, she just says “Oh, you’re a transfer student”, and the matter is never brought up again. Then again, the woman has about the same amount of charisma as a real life high school principal, so I can’t blame her for having a lackluster presence.

So now, basically, Twilight has to become prom queen in order to retrieve a magical artifact before the portal to her home world closes for the next 2.5 years. Remember that stale plot I mentioned in the Prologue? This is it.This is every high school movie ever, just with MLP characters and literal Elements. Don’t believe me? Let’s look through the list:

#Rambles and mumbles of a nerd #review #RaMoaN #Equestria Girls #My Little Pony