#all soured when i realized how little i fucking mattered in the end lmfao

[nebucat]

the mere thought of even touching bo/tw again makes me want to dissociate for a week but i just might do it... for bobcut zel/da..

#i have a love/hate relationship with this game bc i've always been vaguely interested in it but not enough to actually try playing #i only wanted to play it because i was looking for things to bond over with my ex abuser & keep us afloat so 🙃 #naturally its hard to break that mental association and find enjoyment in this game now esp when they bought the copy for me #im unsure what i should even do with it #i'm considering just...selling it #and maybe if i want to try this game again down the line i can without having to associate it with them anymore #i need to figure out what i'm going to do with all the stuff they sent me over the couple years bc i kind of just shoved it in that suitcase #and hid it in the darkest corner of the house so i didnt have to look at it anymore #im terrified of touching that thing again bc it holds way too many confusing and bittersweet memories #i just? dont know if i have the heart to get rid of all of it? these things meant so much to me but those happy and sentimental feelings got #all soured when i realized how little i fucking mattered in the end lmfao #and having time to step back from the relationship and see it through a critical and rational lens & learning everything that i've learned #about emotional abuse & covert narcissist & trauma bonds etc #logically i understand its entirely possible that these gifts were just bait and didnt hold the same sentimental value #to them as it did to me #which is an easier pill to swallow than letting myself believe otherwise #still i dont know if i have the heart to get rid of these things #i cuddled the stuffed animal every night pretending it was them and cried in a mcdonalds when i found out they made the sweater :( #but i cant let myself get sentimental because that makes me feel weak and helpless vulnerable and terrified #and it all comes rushing back again and yeah it just triggers me so bad i break down & have to fight with myself bc im so #emotionally fucked up now lol i hate being trauma bonded! #it was abuse!!!! i know that!!!! but my traumatized ass brain still thinks /thats/ what real love was but its not!!! jfc #fuuuuuuuuck abuse bro! #vent

[thecreelhouse]

Kill the Lights // Chapter 14

Steve Harrington x Original Female Character

Read chapter 13 here!

Summary: After Violet- formally 003, a telekinetic, electrokinetic, and clairvoyant 19 year old- loses her first family, her first love, nothing is the same. She finds herself taken in by Hopper and El, struggling to find her footing and meaning to keep fighting. The Party, especially Steve Harrington, try to show her where her strengths have been hiding all along, and that no one has to fight their battles alone. Sometimes you don’t need to be rescued, but someone’s love and support while you rescue yourself sure doesn’t hurt.

Word count: 3,382

Content warnings: some season 3 spoilers, violence, PTSD, anxiety, dissociation, death, whole lotta angst, sexual themes~*~* (if you squint really lmao)

Author’s note: second to last chapter, y’all!! Next one is the end, and I’m sad to wrap this all up, but excited to finish a fic for the first time in a loooooooooong time. Drunk me finished writing this last night, sober me had to edit some typos that slipped in as well as uhh? some explicit~~~ things. Drunk me and sober me wanted two different outcomes for Violet, I guess. lol. The first half of this was written/inspired by ‘my blood’ by twenty one pilots. The second half was written while listening to a bunch of Lana del Rey songs (specifically Fuck it I love you) lmfao. Huge huge huuuuuuge thank you to anyone who has stuck with this story and also to anyone just recently catching up. Your kind words, reblogs, and likes are always so dearly appreciated!!

Chapter 14: My Blood | Fuck it I love you

The battle happened so quickly, Violet was sure she would have missed the rest of the night if she blinked for a second too long. Everything happened in such a sickening and dizzying blur.

Joyce, Hopper and Murray set out for the base far underground, leaving all the kids behind to fend for themselves. At one point, they split into two groups, and there was absolutely no way Violet was leaving El’s side, even if it meant her and Steve would be split up. She loved him dearly, but El was her immediate family now, and to Violet, family was everything.

When that monster- that thing- that had taken the flayed to use as a vessel of destruction as the Mind Flayer itself, Violet felt fear in every inch of her body. She didn’t dare let it show, though, and channeled her fear into just enough energy here and there to use as defense, but even that seemed useless against the monster.

Escaping from the Mind Flayer safely failed, getting away from Billy- who wasn’t really himself- failed, keeping the kids safe completely began to fail, slipping through Violet’s fingers. Everything was failing, failing, failing at every opportunity they tried to take to gain advantage in this fight. Even Dustin delivering precious information to the adults underground was barely a success, and had Violet on edge. So much was falling apart and failing, and she had no control over fixing any of it.

Whether from sleep deprivation or dissociation, time seemed to have jumped, and she felt like she wasn’t fully tuned in to her surroundings until fireworks started going off within the mall. The explosions shook her back into reality, vision sharpening just enough to the scene unfolding in front of her.

Violet watched in a daze as her friends shot off the fireworks from all angles in the second floor above, aiming them towards the monster. Her daze broke as her eyes landed on El, wearing her bravest face again, as she tried to talk Billy down from the dark hold the Mind Flayer had over him. Fear grew in Violet, like a sickly, sour ache in her stomach, and spread across her body in chills. This wasn’t right. Nothing was going right.

Kicking herself into high gear, Violet began speeding up the fireworks process, using the little energy she had to help light them up with sparks forming at her fingertips. The explosives whizzed and zoomed through the air, but it still wasn’t amounting to enough distraction or damage to help.

Time slowed again, time slowed and Violet knew when time slowed, she was hurting, and time really meant nothing when she suffered.

A flashback appeared in her eyes, just for a quick second, and her heart softened as she saw Amy’s sweet smile.

Violet watched as she echoed the same damn, cliche string of words she had clung onto the entire time they knew each other, the entire time Violet was barely hanging on after losing her, and the entire time while healing, while growing forward-

“All good things come to an end to make room for new beginnings, Vi.”

And just as fast as it came, the flashback dissolved, flinging her back into the present. It hit her like a ton of bricks, but she knew this was all she could do, all she could provide in a time like this. For once in her life, she felt so certain in her purpose of existing, and she would do whatever it takes to do right by that. She had no idea how this could all end up, but she couldn’t waste time on the sidelines.

Violet ran over to Steve, who was still launching fireworks into the air, pulling his attention away from the battle as her hands grabbed his face. Tears were on the verge of breaking as she kissed him quickly, but with all of the love her heart could give. Steve was caught off guard, bewildered at Violet’s actions during a time like this.

Violet pulled back with a small, sad smile appearing. Her fingers gently grazed over his cheek, trying to memorize how he felt, just in case. “Don’t be mad at me, okay?”

“Vi- what- wait- what are you doing?”

Violet pushed herself away from Steve, still stunned by how quickly everything was happening around him, and with a running start, launched herself up and over the railing of the second floor. Fireworks exploded in grand, vibrant colors above her, time slowing down again.

“Violet!” Steve yelled after her, watching his girlfriend fall, fall, fall among the chaos around them, anticipating a painful impact.

Violet felt the fall, felt her body’s usual reaction to fight gravity, of plucking itself up and back to safety, but fought against it, levitating for just a moment, before safely landing on her feet. Sounds around her melted away to a distant ringing in her ears, and her vision tunneled in on the one and only thing that mattered in that moment- protecting her sister.

In a flash, Violet slid in front of El, back facing the monster, using any energy she could find to create an entire shield, a wall of electricity, between El and the Mind Flayer. Sparks of blue, silver, white all flashed together to form defense against the worst. Violet screamed as pain rolled through her body, pushing herself beyond her limits. Blood began gushing from her nose, peeking out of her ears; her body was running on pure adrenaline.

Simultaneously, Billy jumped in the way, too, taking the blow of the Mind Flayer away from El first, body instantly being ripped open where the monster hit him.

Violet looked over her shoulder at him in horror, screaming louder, watching Billy take the full damage. In a split second, he made the choice to jump in front, saving El. Violet felt sick, but she couldn’t look away. The shield she created fell away, and she fell to the floor, the first sound registering to her ears being Max’s screams over her stepbrother’s lifeless body. Among it all, she sensed something leave, someone leave. Someone left. Someone was gone, and it wasn’t just Billy.

Not even thinking, Violet leaned over Billy, hands outstretched, trying to heal any part of him she could. Anything, something, there had to be life somewhere within him, still. She couldn’t block out the sobs that left Max, the cries from her own sister, and the looming feeling that the worst still wasn’t over yet.

“Fuck! Come on!” She angrily spat through her gritted teeth. Her arms were outstretched for a little longer before she realized how useless her efforts were. Just like that, she went from feeling like she and her powers finally had a purpose in this world, to feeling completely, utterly useless.

Falling silent in shock, she stumbled back onto the floor, cowering into a corner away from Billy’s body, away from the kids. Even in trying to save El, it was useless, because Billy sacrificed himself. She couldn’t even heal him, bring him back to life. She knew he was long, long gone.

Steve rushed over to Violet, wrapping her up completely in his embrace, trying to soothe her as sobs fell from her own mouth.

“You’re okay, you’re okay, baby.” He whispered, trying his best to keep himself together for her.

His comforting words sounded muffled, though. Distant.

In a blur, he helped her outside, where ambulances waited for anyone in need. He tried grounding her like usual, but she didn’t respond. Asking her what she saw. Violet didn’t want to respond. She was far away in her thoughts, and didn’t want to come back.

While sitting in the back of an ambulance, El sat close to Violet, holding her hand, eyes frantically searching for any sign of their dad. It wasn’t until El jumped to her feet at the sign of Joyce, far across the lot, that Violet began to come back into focus again. She got up next to her sister, following El as she walked closer to Joyce, who was now hugging Will tightly.

Joyce was alone. El’s eyes darted all around, nowhere for Hopper to be found. Her eyes spotted Murray, still no sign of her dad, though. It hit slowly, but all at once- Joyce was alone, clutching onto her youngest son, and crying.

The look Joyce gave the girls said more than enough, and Violet felt the last bit of foundation crumble to dust in her life. Sobs ripped through El, and Violet embraced her in a hug, watching the world around her continue to go on with empty eyes. She couldn’t cry, couldn’t scream, everything was gone. In just a few days time, she realized how lucky she had it, and how quickly she lost it all.

An avalanche of thoughts came rushing into her. If she just was more careful with her powers, she wouldn’t have gotten caught. She wouldn’t have been taken and forced against her will to be a part of a scheme so much greater than she ever imagined. She wouldn’t have put her loved ones in danger, wouldn’t have failed saving them. Hopper wouldn’t be missing from the picture. He’d be rushing towards them, embracing them in one of his world famous bear hugs-

“Vi, baby, I need you to breathe.”

Violet’s gaze trailed over to Steve, who stepped in closer to the girls, holding back his own grief. Her vision was fuzzy, hazy, and it took her a bit to notice she was hyperventilating as El still clutched onto her, shaking as well.

How do you go from being on top of the world, to being crushed under its own heavy, heart wrenching weight, in just a few days? How do you cope? How do you live past losing found family being taken from you again?

“I- he- Hopper-“ Violet couldn’t get much out as her thoughts raced in twenty different directions at once. Steve just nodded, understanding how awful she must be feeling, and pulled her into a hug while El still cried on Violet as well.

Violet had worked so damn hard on healing, so damn hard on growing and moving on, just for family to be ripped from her once again. The rage she felt towards Dr. Brenner was nothing now compared to the wrath she wanted to unleash on those involved in the hell below Starcourt.

As she held El and Steve close to her, Violet watched the flames rip through the roof of Starcourt. She felt silly for even having heartache while watching the mall collapse into its own descent to hell. Starcourt was just a mall, and one with darker intentions than what once lay on the surface, but it was a taste of a real, normal life, for her. Violet cherished how normal her life was beginning to feel as she was working her boring retail job, spending days off with her partner and the kids, saving money slowly.

Now? Well, now, that just all felt like a distant dream. A cruel joke. What a fool she was for thinking she could have a normal, easy life, from here on out. Nothing comes easy, nothing comes pain free. Violet just assumed that she paid her debts in pain already, and tonight proved her wrong.

———

On the night of the 4th of July, Hawkins was blanketed in a humidity that Violet once came to love and appreciate in the summer. Tonight, though, it hung heavy, suffocating her. Everything felt so heavy, weighing her down, telling her to give up, maybe lash out, destroy everything, isolate completely- nothing felt concrete enough, but she sure still felt it all at once.

Violet couldn’t remember the ride to Steve’s house. He had lost his keys in the underground base, so they must have taken her bike- Steve must have drove her bike- something that would have highly impressed her any other day, but now, she just felt numb.

El told Violet how the cabin had been destroyed before the last battle at Starcourt. Most of their belongings, their home, was torn to shreds. Violet told her they could go back soon to pick through the damage for what they could salvage, but for now, they needed to rest. So, everyone kind of just made their way over to Steve’s house. The kids, Joyce, even Johnathan and Nancy, even Mrs. Wheeler- everyone affected in one way or another, ended up pulling into the driveway and filing into the usually empty Harrington household.

One by one, they all took turns showering in the multiple bathrooms, making up places to sleep for the night on couches, chairs, the floor, guest beds, anywhere they felt comfortable. One thing was for sure, nobody wanted to be alone tonight. Nobody should be alone in a time like this.

Steve helped everyone grab towels, blankets, food, water, whatever was necessary to feel more human and less like a lost soul among what just happened. Violet sat on the stairs, watching life pass her by, watching her partner help the kids, comfort them as best as he could when and where he could. Making sure they all knew it was safe now, they were safe. Violet still felt numb, still felt so far away.

“C’mon, Vi. You probably should wash up too, it’ll help you sleep better.” Steve said, weariness obvious in his voice. Violet finally glanced up, finally addressed what was happening in the present moment. Her heart broke at the sight of how worn he looked, finally feeling something, breaking from the hold the numbness had over her.

Violet took his hand silently, and let him lead her up the stairs. They walked into the bathroom closest to his room, and Steve gently closed the door behind him. As he flicked the lights on, Violet squinted at the brightness, and her eyes fell upon her own image in the mirror, face flipping into a frown. The bags under her eyes lasted for days, and her eyes were sunken in. Among the needles leaving entry points she couldn’t heal on her own, bruises littered her skin, and she was sickly pale. She looked like she had not only seen ghosts, but had fought with them too.

“Is it okay if I help?” Steve whispered, trying to keep things as calm as possible for Violet. Her empty stare led up to his eyes, and she slowly nodded. Steve began slowly pulling layers of clothing gently from her body, making sure to not bump into any wounds along the way. Violet looked down, realizing they had never really seen each other nude before. Sure, when things got hot and heavy, they had fooled around with each other, and had lost some clothing along the way, but never completely. Violet had never let him see her completely vulnerable, especially uncovering where she hid some of her worst scars.

“Are you okay? I can stop if you want.” Steve suggested, looking only in Violet’s eyes. “I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, just figured you might be too sore to move much.”

Violet met his gaze again, nodding silently once more. Steve waited a second before continuing to help, not letting his eyes wander her body.

When Violet was down to her underwear, Steve turned the shower on, and turned around to give her privacy. “I’m gonna- uh- wait until you get in safely, and then I’ll be right outside, okay?”

Violet nodded before realizing he couldn’t see, then croaked out an “okay”. She slowly removed her bra and underwear, throwing them into the pile of her other dirty, blood spattered clothes. She stepped into the shower, carefully so not to slip, and when she pulled the curtain shut, she softly spoke out, “I’m good.”

“Okay, like I said, if you need, I’ll be right outside, okay? Don’t be afraid to yell for me, okay, Vi?” Steve reminded her again. Violet felt her body stiffen up as he opened the door.

“Wait.” She spoke out, voice shaky but certain. She could hear Steve pause, then close the door again gently.

“What’s up?”

Violet let some time pass, building up the courage to use her voice once more.

“Stay. Don’t leave me.” She demanded, voice sounding much more soft than it should. She could hear Steve hold his breath, contemplating what she just said.

“Okay, I’ll be right here, I’ll wait right in here-“

“No,” Violet stopped him, surprised by her boldness. Maybe she was still feeling numb enough to not care about being so shy in this state. “I need you.”

Violet rested her back against the shower wall, letting the water hit her sideways, already doubting if it was alright for her to ask. While lost among her thoughts, she couldn’t hear Steve changing out of his clothes, and carefully stepping into the shower next to her. He refused to look anywhere directly at her, until she gave a clear signal.

Eyes opening slowly, Violet felt a blush creep across not only her face, but most of her body, as she saw Steve in front of her. Contagiously, it spread to his face quickly, rising under the wounds on his face.

“Steve, look at me.”

Steve slowly looked up at Violet, worried to do or say something to mess this all up.

“Life is too fucking short, and too scary, and I- I-“ Violet began mumbling, holding back her emotions as best she could. Of course, with how worn she was after the last few days, it didn’t take long for the tears to break. “- I almost lost you. I could’ve- You could have died-“

“I didn’t, Violet, I’m still here-“

“Yeah, by some lucky, odd chance!” Her voice raised a little, desperate to get her point across, and she shook her head immediately at how she sounded. She felt foolish for doubting that he didn’t understand. Of course he did. “I’m so grateful we’re both still here.”

“Me too, Vi.” Steve said, carefully stepping closer to her, only by mere inches. When she didn’t show any doubt or fear, his hand came up to gently push her chin up, making her look up at him. Violet gave him a look so strong and certain, it sent shivers up his spine. What once terrified Violet, any touch, any human contact, she craved in this moment, grieving over how quickly anyone could be taken away. How cruel Father Time could remind anyone that seconds spent with those you love are never, ever owed to you.

“I-“ Violet choked down a sob before continuing. Her eyes flickered between his eyes and lips. “I’m not wasting anymore time in this life, you hear me?”

“Loud and clear, Violet. Crystal clear.” He whispered, pushing his forehead towards hers as water ran over them both.

“Is it selfish if I want you right now?” Violet whispered back, shutting her eyes. “The timing is horrible, but I just can’t keep wasting time. I want as much of this life with you as time will give us.”

“Maybe it is selfish, but I think you deserve to give yourself what you want after what you’ve been through-“

Violet didn’t need anything more, and pushed her lips forward onto his. Steve immediately reacted, pushing his body closer to hers. The skin to skin contact was a brand new sensation to Violet, never being this intimate with him before. She broke away, wanting more, more, more.

“Please, Steve-“

“I got you, Vi, I got you.” He reassured, hands gently roaming her body. Violet began to feel the numbness fall away as she accepted new feelings, foreign and unusual, as her and Steve experienced something new together. Violet let go of control as their bodies tangled within one another, heart ready to burst as she felt him whisper “I love you” over, and over, and over again between kisses across her skin.

The timing wasn’t the best, but she couldn’t be alone right now. She longed for connection with the boy she fell in love with, just wanting to escape the heartache she felt, wanting to be reminded that she wasn’t alone, she was safe, she was loved, and she would continue to be loved.

Loved, loved, loved.

#steve harrington x oc #steve harrington x ofc #steve harrington x reader #steve harrington x you #steve harrington fanfic #kill the lights #stranger things x ofc #stranger things x oc #stranger things x reader #stranger things x you #stranger things fanfiction

[punkisdaed]

LMFAO IDK WTF I JUST WROTE BUT THIS IS SOME SELF INDULGENT CRACK AND IS UNREALISTIC AF BUT I WISH IT COULD HAPPEN TO ME WHEN I GO BACK TO NEW YORK.

Life is crazy. One minute you’re rushing out of your apartment in a sour mood because your alarm didn’t go off and now you’re going to be super duper late for class, the next, you’re bumping into the most beautiful guy you’ve ever had the fucking pleasure of seeing. 

It all starts like this. 

You go to sleep late the night before because you’re working on an essay that you’d been procrastinating all week on. Once you’re finally done, you forget to set your alarm and in the morning, you wake up 30 minutes late and have to leave the house without even showering. You’re annoyed because you hate being late and know that it’ll take you at least 30 extra minutes to get to the NYU campus from your home. You debate missing class but know that if you do, you might fail the class. So you decide to go then, and not risk getting an F, (your GPA can’t afford it.) But then the train is being slow as fuck and 30 minutes turn into 35, which then turn into 40. You’re fuming at this point and you just want to go home and sleep. But you don’t, because you're a good student goddamn it and you’re going to make it to that class even if you’re a whole hour late at this point. 

When you finally get off the train, you break into a run because the building is literally a block away. You’re not paying attention to anyone or anything so when you bump into someone and fall on your ass, you’re honestly surprised. You groan in pain and are ready to curse whoever knocked you over out, but when you look up, you see an angel staring down at you with a look of concern on it’s face. All the anger and annoyance leaves your body and you’re just sitting there, with a dumbfounded look on your face as Timothee fucking Chalamet puts his hand out and says:

“Fuck, I’m so, sorry. Are you okay?”

You blink a couple of times, because shit. This cannot be fucking real. This must be a dream right? You never actually woke up this morning. The first thing that comes to mind is pinching yourself. Timmy stares at you in confusion but this is obviously a dream so it doesn’t matter, right? Except it’s not a dream, because when you pinch yourself it fucking hurts and you actually let out a small “ouch.” 

“Hey, are you okay?” Timmy says again. And this time he’s crouching down in front of you and you just blink a couple of times again, because, THIS. CANNOT. BE. REAL.

People are starting to stop and stare but you just can’t react. It’s not until Timmy places a hand on your arm that you snap out of whatever trance you had fallen into. You shake your head and stammer out an:

“I-i’m fine.”

“Are you sure? I can call an ambulance if you want.”

You laugh at the absurdity of it all and Timmy looks even more confused. 

“Sorry, sorry.” You say because you don’t want to scare him. 

He smiles amusedly at you and you feel your heartbeat accelerate. This cannot be fucking real. 

“Do you need any help getting up?”

You nod because your legs are jelly right now and you know for a fact that if you try to get up, you’ll fall right back down on your ass again. 

He gets up and puts out his hand which you gratefully take. And then you feel it. That electrifying connection you’ve read about in love books and you feel the softness of his palm against yours and you don’t ever, ever, ever want to let go. You don’t even know how you were able to get up, but one minute your on the ground, the next, your standing in front of him, still holding on to his hand. 

“Thanks.” You’re able to say. Because you might be crazy but you’re not rude. 

“No problem.” He says, and he still hasn’t let go of your hand. 

This is fucking insane. 

The two of you just stare at each other for a moment until you remember that you need to be in class now, or you’re going to fucking fail. 

“Shit. I have to go.” You say as you retrieve your hand back. You notice that he looks disappointed but you don’t dwell on it too much because you don’t have time. 

“Are you sure you’re okay?” He asks, and you don’t know why he’s asking or why he sounds like he doesn’t want you to go.

“Yeah. I’m supposed to be in class so if I don’t leave now I’m going to be in serious trouble.” You don’t know why you’re telling him this, and you definetly don’t know why he cares, but he does. Because that sad puppy look that he had on his face vanishes and he perks up a little as he says: 

“Oh. Do you go to NYU?”

“Yeah.” You look towards the building and debate whether to risk it all and stay with Timmy who for some wild fucking reason wants to have a conversation with you, or leave right the fuck now and be a respectable student. 

“Shit, I’m sorry, I’m making you more late, aren’t I?” Timmy looks apologetic. 

Fuck it. 

When live gives you lemons, you make lemonade. 

When life throws Timmy Chalamet your way, you skip class even though it means you might fail. 

“It’s okay. I’m already an hour late anyways so I’m just not going to go.”

Timmy looks bewildered by your comment. 

“Really? I mean, how long is the class for?”

You look down at your watch, then back at him. “Until 11, and it’s now 10:30. There’s really no point.”

Timmy scratches the back of his head in that adorable way you’ve watched him do it on video and you honestly cannot believe that THIS IS FUCKING HAPPENING. 

“Shit, now I feel bad.”

“For what? I was the dumbass who forgot to set her alarm last night.”

He laughs at this and your insides swell up with pride because YOU JUST MADE TIMMY CHALAMET laugh goddamn it. 

“I can’t believe this is happening.” You end up stuttering. 

“Huh?” He says, looking confused again. It’s a good look on him.

“This,” you say as you signal to the two of you. “Running into you. I think this is a dream.”

“Is that why you pinched yourself?” He says in a cheeky way and your heart fucking stops because IS HE FLIRTING WITH YOU? Probably not. You look like shit and probably smell too because YOU DIDN’T FUCKING SHOWER. So no, he’s probably, definitely not flirting.

“Uh, no.” You say, but he knows you’re lying so he smirks and you end up blushing. 

“Would you like to eat breakfast with me?” He asks out of nowhere and you’re honestly fucking shock because WHAT THE FUCK IS HAPPENING.

“What?” 

“Breakfast?” 

You agree because not agreeing would be the dumb shit to do and ten minutes later you find yourself sitting down at a small diner in front of the love of your fucking life. It’s a little awkward at first, because not only are you awkward and nervous but he’s also awkward and nervous. You still can’t wrap your head around any of this and you tell him this.

He laughs and says that he’s just a normal guy and you say:

“Normal guy my ass.”

He laughs again, and it’s the most beautiful sound you’ve ever fucking heard and you want to hear it again and again and again until you go deaf. 

You end up telling him how you’ve admire his work ever since you saw Call Me By Your Name and a proud smile appears on his face and he says “thank you.” When the food arrive, you two end up talking about Kid Cudi and his greatest songs and how much the two of you relate to every song in Man On The Moon II. From there, you two start talking about the fear of rejection and of not being good enough and of how you both want the whole world’s approval and how hard and unrealistic it is to ever achieve that. 

You two have so much in common so it doesn’t come off as a surprise when you look at the clock on the wall and realize that it’s 2 O’clock already. you guys have been talking for four hours straight and didn’t even fucking notice. 

“What’s wrong?” He asks, when he notices you spaced out.

You chuckle and shake your head. “Nothing. It’s just... We’ve been here since 10:40 and it’s now 2.”

His eyes widen in surprise and he looks down at his watch. 

“Holy fuck. That’s crazy.”

“I know right. Time sure does fly when you’re having a good time.”

Timmy smiles and leans forward. “It sure does.”

#timothée chamalet #timothee chalamet #timmy chalamet