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#also I hope this censor is PG-Tumblr enough
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I don’t know what to doooooooo
My blog got wrongly marked as explicit and I know what the fuck happened
I reblogged an edit of a classical painting, and there was a boob, but the boob was censored, are we still being that backwards?
I’ve reblogged maybe 7 posts ever that were nsfw, my main fandom is fucking kids show that aired in the 2000s, and I’m known for writing entirely pg mer aus.
I’ve done the appeal process and deleted the reblog of the boob painting but im fucking terrified it still won’t be enough
I don’t even know why I came to you, I’m just really scared that I’m gonna basically lose my whole ass blog because tumblr is big dumb
tumblr is definitely a dumb and worst comes to worst you shouldn't lose your whole blog (someone correct me if im wrong), you'd just be censored (which is also dumb af but you won't lose anything and i still have plenty of active folks back here reblogging stuff who've been censored that still have their blogs :D)
If the boob painting didn't originate with you, it should have nothing to do with your entire blog (as is my understanding; i was marked and also appealed it at the beginning of this, and since then i've also reblogged stuff that was later censored so i don't think that matters) but i'd just wait for them to do the appeal thing. Also if it's classical art which THEY SAID they wouldn't censor vs. like if i posted my whole tit out, there shouldn't be a problem. We all know the AI sucks ass and also marks like spaghetti and shit as 'adult' so don't worry.
I know in terms of picture posts, what happens is that its usually outsourced to another country where someone is basically just looking at images all day clicking 'yes' or 'no' if it's actually against policy, so think of that thing as being added to a queue (the images can be appealed as well, and i've appealed several that also did not originate with me but i reblogged) so its just the waiting game.
Deleting the reblog is probably gonna add a little bit of time to that (i'd assume based on when I used to work for dA with how their system was set up, but that was about a decade ago and tech has changed xD) that if they can't find the image that triggered the thing, it might take em another hot second. We know this site is garbage running on fillers and ball shavers, so i'd just give it a minute :) They do get back to you on stuff. I can't speculate too much more on what/how they actually run this shite but i wouldn't worry too much. Hell, if you get into my blog's archive you'll find an absolute treasure trove of full on cock and balls that escaped the censoring, and that i don't reblog cuz i dont want the image to get caught by the system xD But it's all still there hahaha have hope! :D
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woohooligancomics · 7 years
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Webcomic Whimsy: Parhelion
Welcome to the Woohooligan Weekly Webcomic Whimsy! I've given a couple of interviews in the past, but this is my first experience with reviewing. If you have any suggestions for improvements, feel free to leave a note. If you're a webcomic author and would like a review, you can see my announcement and review rules here.
Title: Parhelion
Author: Riley Smith • Twitter • Tumblr
Site: ParhelionComic.com • Patreon
Genres: Experimental, Dystopian, SciFi, Space Opera, Black Comedy, Experimental, Surreal, Action/Adventure, Gay Space Pirates, A day in the life of a bargain-bin Han Solo
Rating: PG, T for Teen - adult situations, some language
Updates: ??
Synopsis: (from ParhelionComic.com/about) - The World’s Collective, an ambitious plan to unite the galaxy, has just formally collapsed. A despondent interpreter hires a pirate to retrieve some personal files from his office, and they hit it off. Meanwhile, wheels are turning throughout the galaxy, with all kinds of plans at cross-purposes. Warlords lock horns, Boltzmann Brains fight for freedom, and plenty of people just want some peace and quiet.
The first thing anyone is bound to notice about Parhelion is its experimental art style. I suspect this will be a case of "love it or hate it" with very few people in the undecided camp. It certainly has its appeal, with a kind of "baroque simplicity", (which in English means it looks more complicated than it is). Although later chapters get some monochromatic coloring, there's never full color and it might be better that way. Even when a character is human, the lines of the form often don't intersect, leaving a gap at a joint like a waist or elbow, so full color might look out of place. With alien characters, all bets are off, as there's barely a passing nod to notions of anatomy. One drawback to this style is the ambassador from the Planet of the Floor Lamps! (See, it's like Planet of the Apes but...)
A small side-note: so far, Riley is the only author I've reviewed who maintains an annotated synopsis of all his chapters. It's a nice touch if you'd like to see the whole outline of the story in advance.
If you don't mind an occasional character who looks like office furniture, there's a dystopian space opera here that you might enjoy, hot on the heels of a failed galactic government called the Collective. The first page opens with, "like it or not, civilization is built on stimulants, pornography and worse." I'm not sure if the author thinks poorly of porn or if they expect the reader to. I personally think porn is like other industries, there's some bad stuff to be had, but there are also unscrupulous insurance people making money off of the death or misfortune of others. So I won't personally single-out the porn industry as "bad stuff", and stimulants? Meh... coffee is a stimulant. But if you're expecting any porn in this comic, remember that any dick picks will inevitably look like a Tinkertoy with this style of art. (There isn't any porn, it's T for Teen.)
But I digress... that opening line is intended to set the mood of Parhelion's dystopian future. The main character, Peter, is jaded while not being entirely cynical, describing the recently collapsed Collective as "a beacon of hope, smothered at birth by a pack of vultures."
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Peter meets his alien, soon-to-be partner, a translator named Cerril, at a bar. In fact, Peter interrupts Cerril's week-long alcoholic bender, mid-gargle-blaster. You see, Cerril's an ivory tower jackoff who used to work for the Collective, before it's untimely collapse just days or weeks before the story started. That's why he needs all the booze. What he didn't know is that Peter needs a translator.
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This is also a good time to point out another small problem with the art style, which is, when you use straight, perpendicular lines for your dialog balloons, especially when you're drawing in black and white, the dialog can easily get lost in the illustration, like it does at the bottom of the above page. Or it can create parallel tangents or fake panels like at the top of the previous page.
There's also a fair amount of black comedy or "gallows humor" in Parhelion, like Peter insisting to terms for his own murder, specifically that it be an involved and painful mano-a-mano affair. And Riley occasionally gets technical. Unlike Star Wars in which the function of the protocol droid C-3PO is simply assumed, Riley stops for a couple pages to explain why Cerril's job title is "translator" instead of "office clerk". Oh, but I was wrong about the Tinkertoys...
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Several pages are devoted to developing the characters for Peter and Cerril before there's been any real plot. Peter presents himself as a happy-go-lucky space pirate, a kind of bargain-bin Han Solo. And it turns out that the falling-down-drunk Cerril isn't entirely cynical either.
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I know I sound like a broken record here, but I see a lot of what I feel is slow pacing in the webcomics I'm reviewing. Maybe it's just me, maybe I'm being a little overly critical on this point. Having said that, I'm seventeen pages in and while I've gotten some good character development for Peter and Cerril, I still haven't seen any plot development beyond "you need to bring me the translator and you can't refuse because I'm your pirate-boss and you're in deep." For reference, a standard issue of a Marvel or DC title is twenty to twenty-four pages, so if this were one of their books, we'd be on the very last couple of pages with only just the basic character development covered.
That's when we see Peter's gnarly missing-eye scar... or is that mechanical? Hard to tell.
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But I do think they make a good team... it's basically that bargain bin Han Solo teamed up with a drunken, curmudgeonly C-3PO.
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Note that in the bottom half of this page, those are supposed to be fully human, factory-direct hands, with no modifications. It's that sort of thing that makes me say I think this art style will be fairly polarizing: you'll love it or hate it, there won't be a lot of indifference. The hand on the left looks like a bunch of straw sticking out of a sleeve and the one on the right looks like a garden rake. Yeah, he's a bargain bin Han Solo, but this picture makes him look like a badass, one-eyed, space-pirate scarecrow from the land of Oz.
At the beginning of their three-day trip, Cerril asked Peter to steal something for him. By day three, Cerril finally explains that it was just some personal files he wouldn't be able to retrieve from his offices after the Collective collapsed. That's when it's revealed that these particular space pirates are gay, although that reveal is weirdly subtle and kind of sprung on the reader out of the blue like a jump-scare in a horror movie, or maybe a Rickroll. (I'm bringin' back ALL the dated memes, bae!) Pete and Cerril mention "neck marks" without any indication they had been playing tonsil hockey, although that's preceded by some peculiar seating arrangements that weren't foreshadowed in any way. So in a storytelling sense, it feels like we went from teeth-clenched teamwork to the power of love while skipping the middle part where "I'm going to murder you in your sleep, you slaver" gradually becomes "let's slip into something more comfortable".
And then they touch-down on what appears to be literally the land of Oz, right off the yellow-brick road, just outside of the Emerald City. There's even an old-fashioned hand-made crossroads sign.
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Just in time to let us know that three days alone in the ship wasn't nearly enough time for sex! Seriously, you need at least a week for a proper blowjob.
But if you thought Peter's missing eye looked painful, it's nothing compared to the hopelessly tangled earbuds that comprise the "face" of the tyrant known as the Basilisk.
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Although some of the Baroqueness is rather nice.
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We've had a few budget cuts, so the part of Parliament's architectural columns will be played by butt-plugs. (You can't unsee it! You're welcome.)
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Starting in the second chapter, Riley starts getting creative with the lettering, occasionally replacing a character or two with an alien symbol. The only pattern I can see is that a particular letter or combination is always given the same symbol, so what would be "th" becomes a single symbol that vaguely resembles a J, making "the" look like "je". It's obviously not used for the purpose of censoring swearing, since the page starts with the phrase "fucking joke" (a priest, a rabbi and a minister walk into an orgy). Given that, I can only imagine that these random substitutions are purely for the purpose of adding an alien flavor to the narration or dialog of certain characters. Personally, I'm not on-board. Riley's already added some similar decoration around the dialog box, and I feel like that's the more appropriate way to create that flavor. These substitutions in the text keep interrupting my reading flow as I have to stop to workout what "video#at" or "fai#ful" mean. It's only a fraction of a second for any individual word, however even that fractional pause is noticeable and mildly irritating as a reader. Like I said, the style of this comic is experimental, and experimentation always comes with some risk and sometimes it pays off. I just don't feel like, as experiments go, this text experiment was a keeper. What do you think?
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It isn't until the fourth page of chapter two that Peter and Cerril officially become partners, with a little light comedy that reminds me a little of C-3PO's pitch to uncle Owen in Star Wars IV, except that Cerril is arguing against going with Alison. (That may have a lot to do with my already saying Cerril reminds me of C-3PO.)
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While the writing on this page is good and Cerril's body language is well done, the page as a whole has several trouble-spots. There are several ways the first panel could have been composed without letting the dialog cut into the top of Alison's head. While it's not hard to figure out in this particular case, dialog from a character off-camera is frequently shown as it is here in the 2nd and 3rd panel. This is problematic for a couple of reasons, one because there's no visual difference between these dialog boxes and a narration box. That's not confusing on this particular page, but I could easily see it becoming confusing on other pages. Second, and more importantly, I've seen a few more recent pages where this is done in a scene with three or more characters and it's not always apparent who's speaking. Use of colored dialog boxes or a small symbol indicating the character could resolve this issue, although as an artist myself, I would work a little harder to keep the speaking characters on-camera. I might still use the symbol on some infrequent occasions if I were having a really difficult time with the composition of a specific page. I just don't think the off-camera boxes should be a frequent occurrence... reserve them for when Dorothy finally meets the Wizard.
And on page six of the second chapter, we're finally on to our dynamic duo's first suicide mission (of many, natch). I'm pretty sure they have one of those hole-punch coupons, they get a free sandwich after every fifth suicide mission they complete. Loyalty is important, yo!
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Don't worry though, the veteran Peter has a plan! Peter's plan is to show up unannounced to a definitely hostile, likely heavily armed facility, and say "Hi! I'm peter! Go fuck yourself!" Which, of course, works every time. No, seriously, nobody even mentions it being weird and they make plans with the manager of the hostile station to go get tacos later.
But Peter wants to to know you don't fuck with a space-pirate's tacos, you spineless corporate cuck!
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And since Parhelion is more of a black comedy than an adventure (I'm sure it's in there somewhere), this taco tirade is the big mistake where shit gets real. (Yeah, no, it's totally not lazily waltzing in on a hostile, likely heavily armed base. That part was cake.)
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I really like that dramatic last panel on page fifteen of chapter two, so that's where I'm going to end this review.
So there's my pitch. If you enjoy tongue-in-cheek space opera, surreal and experimental illustration, and gay space-pirates, it's worth a look at Parhelion!
If you are a webcomic author and are interested in a review from me, you can check out my announcement and my review rules here.
If you enjoy my reviews and would like to help ensure I'm able to continue publishing them, you can contribute on our Patreon or if you're short on funds you can also help me out by checking out and sharing my own webcomic, Woohooligan!
Thanks! Sam
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