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gloomyswritings · 7 months

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𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐫𝐭'𝐬 𝐚 𝐡𝐞𝐚𝐯𝐲 𝐛𝐮𝐫𝐝𝐞𝐧 | 𝐣𝐨𝐬𝐡𝐮𝐚 𝐫𝐨𝐬𝐟𝐢𝐞𝐥𝐝

𝐩𝐚𝐫𝐭 𝐭𝐡𝐫𝐞𝐞

warnings :

notes : going to be skipping around a lot in this part as i don't want this to be more than five parts.

The four of you, plus Torgal, were nearly half way to Tabor but the sun had quickly set forcing you to camp out for the night. You and Joshua laid together, Torgal cuddling close it was instinctive as if the wolf knew you both were frail. Jill and Clive were off in the distance speaking to one another. "You're ill Joshua." You mumbled tracing your fingers on his chest. He flinched, "I know. But I'll be okay." He tried to reassure you. You had finally seen caught a glimpse of what he hiding under his shirt— a dark glowing crystal incased in his chest. You were no fool that thing looked parasitic, you did not like it any bit it only heightened your anxiety. "I've had this for a long time do not worry dear." He said grabbing your hand to move it away from his chest. You sighed, "How could I not worry? You coughed up blood again. Stop using magic." You frowned. "Don't worry, please." He flashed you a smile before placing a kiss to the top of your hand. You couldn't help but feel like that thing was draining his life away.

~•••~

Arriving in Tabor you soon met with Jote as she and Joshua explained the full details of the Undying. Joshua also revealed Ultima's true plan; his purpose of creating Dominants. You felt dread wash over your body; Ultima was a god and he wasn't pleased his subjects were disobeying him. He wanted something from Clive and it seemed he had no problem in destroying everything that stood in his path. You felt sick to your stomach by the idea of having to confront a god like being. But you'd deal with that when the time came—if it ever came. You fidgeted with you fingers as Joshua dismissed Jote from her service. You couldn't help but feel a smidge of jealously upon seeing the brunette, she was kind and had been there to take care of Joshua for all those years. You felt like you didn't deserve Joshua, she did. You could tell by the way she looked at him how her eyes glimmered—she was enamored with him.

"Jote can we speak?" You asked before she left the building. She nodded and you followed her outside. Though you were overcome with petty jealousy you couldn't help but notice when you made eye contact with her she gave you nothing but a warm smile. "His highness has been looking forward to seeing you once again. I'm grateful you two were able to be with one another. I hope I have not done anything to offend you." She said bowing her head. Her kind words were laced with a thin veil of sadness which made you feel far more guilty. You clicked your tongue and waved your hands dismissively, "P-please lady Jote no need to bow to me. It should be I bowing to you. I'm eternally grateful for you. I am in both your and the Undying's debt for caring for Joshua all years. When..when I couldn't be there. Thank you." You stammered bringing the girl into a hug. Her dark eyes widened in shock and she awkwardly returned the hug before you pulled away. "I apologize I'm just grateful. Please have a safe journey." You cleared your throat before walking off to join Joshua's side. Jote titled her head in amusement and laughed softly to herself; she never expected the Princess of Sanbreque to thank her nonetheless hug her.

~•••~

The free cities were just as you suspected them to be— total chaos. But you saw a familiar face that you had not seen in many years. Lord Byron he embraced you with open arms expressing how happy he was to see you and Joshua together once again. You also met two faces—Mid an eccentric girl and Gav a kindhearted scout. Though the happy reunion did not last long as Gav had explained the dire situation. Akashic creature overtaking the city and they seemed to be controlled. You couldn't help but feel nervous but if there was a chance that people could be alive you'd venture into the city to help save them. "I'll go with Joshua and Jill." You volunteered not wanting to leave his side. Clive shook his head, "Actually _____ I was hoping you'd go with Mid to help with the ship." He said. You shook your head, "I know nothing about ships. I can fight though, I'm a dragoon." You began to say defensively. "______, Clive's right. If a group of Akashic start making their way to the ship before Mid can start it you can use your abilities to push the ship into the ocean." Joshua said. You frowned and clenched your fists spinning on your heel, "Fine. Just be safe. Come show me where this ship is." You marched out of the room. "She's just as I remember." Byron laughed following behind you.

You paced around the deck, lance in hand awaiting for Joshua's return. "Are you almost done?" You shouted at Mid. "It takes time princess!" She shouted back. You clicked your tongue in annoyance. A few minutes and you heard footsteps in the distance, you readied your weapon but out came from the shadows Joshua dragging Clive's limp body Torgal barking as he ran up to you. Quickly you sheathed your lance and rushed towards the pair helping drag Clive into the an abandoned building. "Where's Jill?" You asked. Joshua shook his head, "Holding off Barnabas." He said. You couldn't help but notice the blood trail that oozed behind Clive and you gulped nervously setting him on the bed. You paced nervously outside the building keep watch as Gav addressed Clive's wounds. It was nightfall by the time Joshua had come to grab you, "He's awake. We're going after Jill and we'll need your help." He said. You brows knitted together concern washing over your face, "He really took her didn't he? We are no match for King Barnabas, Joshua. We can't go after her." You pleaded cupping his hands in yours.

"What do you mean no match?" Clive asked limply slowly towards you. You shook your head wildly, "Dion...he can barely stand toe to toe with him. We have to get him before he transforms into Odin." You warned. "We'll be in the ocean. You have the advantage my dear _______!" Byron chimed in. You couldn't help but view their optimism as naïveté. "I'm scared of him." You whispered only loud enough for Joshua to hear. He gave you a sympathetic smile, "I'll be right there with you." He said quietly giving your hands a reassuring squeeze. Joshua only knew vaguely of your encounter with Odin he never realized how far the trauma went.

~•••~

With Leviathan's abilities you were able to help move along the ship even faster and sooner than later the ship finally caught up with Barnabas' ship. You nearly froze at the sight knowing that the king was on there. "______ slam us into them!" Mid shouted from the helm. She sounded far too eager for your liking. Joshua gave you a reassuring nod and you quickly moved the waves to slam into the side of the ship. You stumbled from the empathy but Joshua quickly grabbed you helping you back into your feet. "Go!" Joshua shouted at his brother who quickly hopped off the ship alongside Torgal. Suddenly an ear piercing scream left your mouth causing Joshua to snap his head in the direction of what had caused your fear. You cowered behind Joshua which only earned a laugh from the king, "Leviathan did I not say we'd meet again? I expect you to be stronger this time." He said. Joshua stood defensively in front of you holding his arm out, "Leave her alone. You want her you go through me." He said, his voice was ice cold anger seeping through. Your reaction to see Odin was all Joshua needed to know that whatever had happened to you it instilled a primal fear in you.

"Get her away!" Joshua shouted at Gav who quickly grabbed you by the arm dragging you away from the fight that was going to no doubt ensue. You sat in a corner covering your ears with your arms as your buried your face in your knees. You tried blocking out the sounds of Joshua and Odin fighting above deck. Gav shook your gently, "Ohhh come on Princess. You haveta go out there and help him!" He pleaded trying to snap you out of your dissociative state. Minutes passed as Gav pleaded but it was only the sound of the Phoenix screeching that made you snap out of your daze. "Joshua!" You shouted standing to you rushing to the top deck. There you saw Odin in his full form sitting upon the black stallion a glowing black and crimson sword at his side. Flashbacks flooded into your mind, balled fists in your hair as you tried to calm yourself. Then you saw Odin preparing to swing his sword and you knew then you had to help Joshua even if it meant your death. You ran off the deck, Mid shouting your name but you ignored her. You closed your eyes as you fell into the water. The cold ocean embraced your frail body wrapping you in it's comforting warmth. The ocean wasn't a cold terrifying place to you, it was comforting like a mother's love.

Joshua dodged Odin's swings he then noticed a large shadow lurking under the water. It can't be! He thought. Suddenly a serpentine like creature jumped out of the water a large tidal wave slamming into Odin. ______! Leviathan! Joshua was in utter disbelief to see your Dominant taking the battlefield. The way you maneuvered in and out the water was breathtaking. It could be describe as watching a ballet dancer, your movements were graceful and precise everything was done with a purpose. With new found strength you and Joshua battled Odin but yet it would not be enough. He was too strong for you and Joshua's fragile states—you both had not yet fully recovered from your injuries from the Dominion. It was the Phoenix who went down first as he took the force from Odin's slice. The sea had parted it was unlike anything you had ever seen before. You noticed the ship beginning to fall into the parted sea and quickly pushed it away from the crater. Your body was exhausted and once everyone was safe you returned back to ship's deck soaking wet.

Night had fallen, the moon and Metia illuminating the sky. You sat with Joshua in the candlelit quarters below deck mending his surface wounds. "You should of never taken that directly. You could died." You scolded tightening the bandages. Joshua winced, "I had to protect everyone, I had to protect you." He mumbled in reply. You sighed shaking your head, "We're okay and that's all that matters. I'm positive Clive and Jill are too. Mid is looking really hard for the two." You said. Joshua only hummed in reply, he turned his head looking out of the small window watching the ocean waves gently swish back and forth. "You were brave for facing Odin ______. Whatever the extent of your fear towards Odin was it seems like you conquered it. I don't know what he did to you but I am happy that you came out to fight alongside me." He said turning to face you. He brushed his slender fingers through your silky hair pushing a stand behind your ear. He smiled warmly at you but you could not help but notice how beautiful he looked under the moonlight. The soft light illuminating his pale skin, you leaned forward pressing a kiss to his chapped lips before pulling away and touching foreheads. "Thank you."

~•••~

Jill, Clive, and Torgal were found stranded on the coast of Ash the next morning. You noticed how different the pair seemed perhaps something had happened between the two but dare not pry. Now that the two were safe it was time to sail back to the Hideaway. It was obvious to you that Joshua was not well—it seemed like these days he was often not feeling well and it greatly concerned you.

Upon arriving to the Hideaway you were met with distressing news. Without a second though you grabbed Tarja by the collar, "You let him go?! In his current state? He'll die!" You cried out. Clive went to pull you away but Tarja simply held her hand up stopping the man, she didn't flinch as she met your eyes, "He left there was nothing I could do to stop him, I'm sorry Princess." She explained. You let go of her collar and back away shaking your head as your hands covered your face. Dion was gone you weren't sure where he was but you could safely assume he was going back to the Crystalline Dominion. "I have to go find him." The panic began to set in as you began to walk down the steps towards the boatman. Clive chased after you only finally catching up when you were at the docks. "______, stop." He said sternly grabbing your forearm and forcing you to face him. His thick brows were furrowed and his grip was tight on your arm. You tried shaking him but to no avail. "You're being rash." He hissed through gritted teeth, "You're in no shape also to be chasing after his highness. You do not even know where he is. You know Dion best, correct? Then you must trust him to do what he needs to do." He said.

"Clive please I must go. Dion has been by my side through everything I can't abandon him. I can't let him face the destruction of the Dominion by himself. We both destroyed the city—" your pleading was cut short by Clive. "Joshua needs you!" He shouted. You were taken aback at the sudden outburst, mouth agape. "It's wrong to leave especially when Joshua is still resting." He added, his eyes were pleading. You broke out of the brunette's grasp and walked passed him, "Fine. You win. But leveraging Joshua against me was a dirty play Clive." You muttered returning back to upper levels of the hideaway passing by Jill on the way, she gave you a small smile mouthing "Thank you.". Clive stood watching you making sure you were really staying before he sighed rubbing his temples an audible groan leaving his lips. "______'s been put into a tough situation having to choose between Joshua or Dion whom was by her side for all these years. It was a little rude to make her choose." Jill's soft voice came from behind him. Clive shook his head, "Jill I—" he began. "But I'm glad you convinced her to stay, thank you." She added placing a gentle kiss to Clive's forehead.

~•••~

Evening came and Joshua was awake once again mended by Tarja. He sat next to you on the plush bed overlooking the lake, aqua eyes glistening ever so slightly from the moon's light bouncing off the water. Blond hair blowing gently from the breeze. You sat beside him, head resting on his bare shoulder, arms wrapped his. You wished moments like this could last forever but soon you'd be departing to Ash—an unknown territory. Greagor only knows what lies ahead you only prayed that nothing terrible would befall your beloved. You were selfish, you knew it and you were certain the others noticed. Joshua was first, you put him ahead of everyone and thing so if it meant him or everyone else living—you knew what decision you'd make. Perhaps that was why you felt even more nervous than usual about going to Ash; it wasn't King Barnabas who scared you necessarily, certainly he added onto your fear but this Ultima being something deep in you told you that the Phoenix—that Joshua was connected to him in some way just as was Clive or rather known as Mythos by Barnabas. It was for those very reasons that you could not stay behind and guard the Enterprise per Clive's orders you had to stay by Joshua's side.

"You look troubled my love." Joshua's gentle voice broke you out of your thoughts. His thumb rubbing circles on your the top of your hand. You did not meet his gaze, instead still focusing on the gentle waves ahead. "I am truth be told. I won't sit behind while you, Clive, and Gav venture into unknown territory. I can fight. Why can't you all see that? I'm a dragoon, I've been in many battles—I'm valuable." You confessed voice trailing off. The truth was you've felt you lost some purpose in your life after the Dominion fell. It was strange to not be awaiting orders from Dion. It was odd to be told what to do when you typically were the one giving orders, mapping out battle strategies. You felt insignificant in a way; no one batted an eye seeing you despite your status no one asked for your input despite your experience it was obvious you were an outsider here at the Hideaway; Joshua was the only reason for you staying here. If it meant being at his side you'd be with him even in the worse place of all an eternal Purgatory.

Joshua sighed nodding, "I figured that was what was botherin' you. Very well I have no complaints with you being by my side. I know you're capable, in fact I believe you may be the most skilled person here." He said. You huffed blowing the strand of hair that laid on your face up a pout making its way to your lips, "You flatter me Joshua." You couldn't help but smirk. Joshua seemed rather pleased with himself and nudged your side with his elbow, "There we go. You look much prettier when you're not pouting around." He laughed softly. "So you'll accomplish me to the ancient ruins? I'm afraid they won't be too interesting." He asked. "Obviously they're interesting enough if you wish to explore them—so of course I'll go with you. I was going to regardless." You smiled. You were also curious on what the ancient ruins would hold in store, you only prayed that they'd hold good news instead of the latter.

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#fanfic #final fantasy 16 #final fantasy xvi #joshua rosfield #writings #ffxvi #joshua rosefield x reader #final fantasy fanfiction #ff16

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