#also yeah im phasing myself back into discord

[igglemouse]

Get to Know Me - Sims Edition

I was tagged by @autonomousllama and @cactusblossom, thank you both for tagging me and I guess I am getting at this late but here it is!

What’s your favourite Sims death?

The old age death because it means a sim has lived like and are gently passing on! I also love that they give a little salute like “It was fun while it lasted but PEACE!” if I have a chance to give a salute and famous last words before I die I know I would!

Alpha CC or Maxis Match?

Maxis Match not because it looks better but because it blends in with the game.

Do you cheat your sims weight?

Never! 

Do you use move objects?

I imagine it is hard not to when you are a competitive sims player lol.

Favourite Mod?

Hmmm, this is hard. I will say Wicked Whims though. I know, I know, you all think i’m super horny over here but really sex is a big part of life it is, one can argue, one of the most important aspects of life itself as one must have sex to create life (kind of at least) so WW really expands on that. Just get rid of the sex animations it adds, ignore that completely, it still adds an indepth menstrual system, attraction system, fertility system, etc! 

WW actually determines how many kids my sims will have for example since some are naturally more fertile than others so yeah!

2nd place is MC Command which is great for just having more control. I mostly use that to make over townies when I see them lol.

First Expansion/Game Pack/Stuff Pack?

The first one they released? It was either Luxury party or the camping one right? Whichever was the first one lol.

Do you pronounce live mode like aLIVE or LIVing?

DO IT LIVE! **** IT! WE’LL DO IT LIVE!

Who’s your favorite sim that you’ve made?

Oooh, I actually don’t make many sims since I play legacy and just rely on genetics but I will say Araceli! I made her when I relaunched a legacy and I spent so much time on her! I loved her! I thought of bringing her back in some form so we might not have seen the last of her actually!

Have you made a simself?

I have for the fun of it but i’ve never played it. I hardly make myself in games. I just always think of a character I guess.

Which is your favorite EA hair color?

Dark brown.

Favorite EA hair?

If you go back I had a vampire in my story named Edda, she wears it. It’s the real short one but ummm, the short one. Most people know by now I do love short hair lol

(EDIT: Not sure why I referenced Edda...Laverne wears this hairstyle lol. There, that is a more recent sim) 

Favorite life stage?

Young Adult! EA just put all the fun in that phase though. 

Are you a builder or are you in it for the gameplay?

I am not that good at building...

Are you a CC creator?

I’ve made poses years ago!

Do you have any Simblr friends or a Sim Squad?

I have simblr friends but part of no squad. I feel like a mostly outsider or lone wolf in the simblr community but im nice to everyone!

Do you have any sims merch?

I WISH!

How has your “Sims style” changed throughout your years of playing?

I don’t think it has honestly lol.

What’s your origin id?

Igglemouse!

Who’s your favorite CC creator?

Hmmm, I don’t know! 

How long have you had simblr?

Since 2014 since the game launched in 2014 and I literally had a post the first day it launched.

You can even see this post here!

https://igglemouse.tumblr.com/post/96447498872/this-is-lourdes-fuentes-my-very-first-sim-in-sims

I’ve been a Sims 4 OG as the kids would like to say and my simblr has really flunctuated in all that time. I’ve had posts getting 100s of likes to now just around 10 lol, I’ve come full circle!

It’s kind of sad because @floofymilk-blog was a real good online friend I had known for years and she was someone you saw constantly liking my posts and commenting at first and she has completely disappeared from like...everything. So yeah T_T, from discord, from steam, from switch, and I always wonder what happened to her and seeing that post and seeing her in the notes there just makes me sad but...she was the biggest AC fan I’ve ever known T_T and a big Sims fan too!

She was Japanese and disappeared before the release of Snowy Escape and I wonder if she would have loved that pack :/

How do you edit your pictures?

I used to do A LOT more but honestly, I just gave up lol. Now I just use a reshade, add a border, and move on. Lazy, I guess? But I’m posting legacy content. What is called a Plotacy. If I hung up on editing every single picture it would slow me down a ton. You can see the story content I tried it was a lot more edited!

What expansion/ gamepack is your favorite?

Hmmmmmm seasons, yeah, Seasons!

I will tag @joannebernice - @mysimsloveaffair - @wolfavens - @wannabecatwriter - @lollipopsimblr - @thereesespiece

If you have done it already or dont want to no worries!

#reply #replies

[raisethe-velvet]

ok so like 2 of my mutuals made posts about their lore so. fuck it here’s lumi lore that no one asked for 

i had a gacha phase when i was like 12, posted it all on a now-deleted instagram account

i used to frequently get into arguments in youtube comments and on discord servers when i was 10-12 and how i wasn’t banned from this one animation memer’s server whom i wont say the name of for simply being annoying as fuck is beyond me 

i work at coles. before that i worked at mcdonalds. i am very nonverbal why did i choose to work in customer service i cant fucking speak

when i was 6 i was genuinely convinced i was the reincarnated fairy princess of another world

i used to roleplay on roblox when i was 10-12 before all the good rp games fucking died 

i was obsessed with collecting dolls as a child and in recent months have fallen back into that 

i played crush crush at the very young age of 12

i played yandere simulator at the even younger age of 11

nightcore phase i never quite grew out of

i have ocs that i never draw and never talk about and wonder why no one asks me about them or talks to me about them

and holy shit do my ocs have l o r e

ive dyed my hair pink 3 times

i also go by the name stardust but no one calls me that so. yeah

i actually have zero connection to the name lumi at all and regret naming myself that but its kinda what everyone knows me as and my url so im just used to it 

i cant think of a better name anyway and stardust is my online only nickname

#loreposting #stardust is online #might make a part 2 to this if i think of anything else

[moonjxsung]

HELLAUR POOKIE I MISSED YOU RAHHHH it has been a serious hot minute since ive been back here hello everyone hello star hello every single 85 anons (woah thats a lot) RAHHH first of all i reread all of your anon asks and your personal updates on your blog and im really upset to hear that youre taking down all of your small drabbles and requests (rip my favorite minho biker story <//3) but honestly i totally do understand where you stand on this and i respect your opinion im just glad youre still here and staying with us !!! (im chaining up your ankles and keeping you here forever who's in who's basement now huh !! yeah thats what i thought !!! [we have conjoined basements])

I MISSED YOU STAR RAHHH i was going through yet another week of "oh shit i think my mental health is depleting but im going to pretend that its not at a critical level right now and immerse myself in studies and hope it goes away" but in fact it did not go away and i dont know how i feel right not BUT ITS OKAY because im rewatching komi cant communicate and i made my 84th spotify playlist on my fifth spotify account and i used to use 4 spotify accounts during 2022-2023 so this is probably like my 600th smth playlist but yk!!! (i made a total of like 30+ this year so far im goign crazy star help me)

speaking of i shoudl send you my new playlist on discord ALSO i saw you and an anon talking about 505 RAHHHHH ARCTIC MONKEYS <333333 i used to be a huge arctic monkeys fan but now im getting back into them i literally have a 505 phase RIGHT NOW ive been listenign to it on loop !!! idk why im so energetic right now rahh i missed you lots oh yeah also !!! my $50 temu package arrived and i like freaked out about it for like a solid 15 minutes then proceeded to lose my ring and brand new keychain in like the next 2 hours (im so upset) its okay though cs they were like 50 cents each i can rebuy it !!! (im still upset) star im not kidding im serious when i say ive spent over 90 bucks on temu during hte past like 3-4 months please help me star im going insane my friends keep saying that im such a loyal temu customer that atp the company is going to start recruiting me to be one of their asian workers in china and ill be enslaved earning two pennies a day for the rest of my life

did you knwo peppermint candy is good

~《☘️》

HIIIIIIIII POOOOKIEEEEE RAHHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO MUCH HOW ARE YOU HOW’S IT GOINGNTHTJFJDKDKDJ I will gladly remain shackled to the confines that are tumblr. I love it here (mostly) I LOVE YOU GUYS SO MUCH RAHHH‼️‼️‼️‼️

I’m SOOOO sad about my shorter drabbles (biker!minho story was literally my fav one by FAR oh my god) but hopefully they can pick up again in the future 💔💔 fuck you wattpad thieves. We all booed !

ANYWAYS I MISSED YOU TOOOO I was also having a shitty mental health week and I’ve just been insanely busy like I haven’t had a single second this week to just sit down and take a fucking breather!!!! But we made it to the weekend and I’m alive RAHHHH star lives to see another weekend of interacting w her beloved anons and consuming kpop content 💯💯 I hope you’re doing better though my sweet angel!!!! April has been so shitty but I know we’re gonna make it out of it alive somehow 🫶 ALSO YES SEND ME ALL THE SPOTIFY PLAYLISTS I NEED SO MUCH NEW MUSIC TO LISTEN TO ‼️‼️ I’ve been listening to the arctic monkeys nonstop again bc I was talking about them on here I LOVEEEE HOW WE’RE BOTH BACK IN 505 PHASE SOOOO REAL

PLELWKAKSLDKSKEKDKR RHE TEMU PART 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 CRYINGNTJTNGNFMEMEJ THAT’S me at the fucking kpop store near my HOUSEEEMEKEKE I SPENT $200 THERE TODAY AND IM GOING BQDK TOMORROW BC THEY GOT THE NEW JHOPE KEYCHAINS AND BEANIES IN STOCK I NEED RHEM SOOOO BAD. YOU AND ME RETAIL THERAPY TOGETHER ERA WHEN 😍😍😍😍🫶

Also peppermint candy is good but not as good as you I love you so much RAHHHHH I MISSED YOU SO BADDDJEKSKSKSKS

#☘️ anon #ask

[wearequeer-andwearehere]

hii, i did send an ask before but i think i hit the limit to it didn't send?? i'd like to say that i love how inclusive & welcoming your blog is!! so i have ID'd as bi-demiromantic ace (cis girl) for around 6 months but lately i've been doing more research and i think i'm aroace and nb (she/they). but i have some internal aromantic-phobia. idm if others are aro but.. idk haha. also idk if i'm really nb or it's a "not like other girls phase" hitting the limit so ending this rn!

Hi! 

Yeah, I don’t think I got your ask before this!

Ahhh thank you :D I try my best to be inclusive and create a welcoming community :)

Ahhhh my dude I’m so fucking proud of you, that’s awesome!! Aroaces are so cool, and being nonbinary is awesome!!

Ohh god I’m sorry you gotta go through that, internalised shit can suck 🫂 

Tbh my advice is to find your community!! Follow aro blogs and make aro friends and join aro discord servers, read stories about aro characters and make aro characters and write aro stories and find your community and you’ll start to feel better!!! 

My advice for the not like other girls thing is to try seeing why you feel like you’re not a girl. Is it because you think girls are below human and you feel human, or is it because you’re not a girl? Try finding the reason why.

Also, there is absolutely no harm in trying out the nonbinary label for a bit! If you wanna try it out, go for it my friend!! Just go about your day and live your life and in the back of your head try saying “Im nonbinary,” and see how it feels!!

If you like the label, that’s cool!! If you realise you’re actually cis, that’s cool too!! There’s no harm in seeing how the label feels.

Here’s a post on gender dysphoria you might wanna read, see if you relate to anything on there! Here’s some questioning advice:

Remember, only way of being trans is being yourself!

Don’t force yourself into labels that don’t fit. You’re not supposed to fit labels, labels are supposed to fit you

There’s nothing wrong with not having a label or using only umbrella labels!

Feel free to experiment with labels! Live your life for one day and say “I am [gender],” try it out for a day or so and see how it feels!

Labels are like sweaters, you can try them on for a bit and see which one is comfiest!

“What makes me happy?” and “what makes me feel truest to myself?” are better questions than “what gender am I?”

The goal of gender questioning isn’t to find a label, it’s to make yourself happy—whether having a ton of microlabels, a few umbrella labels or just going unlabelled!

Happiness is always first priority—happiness first, labels second.

It’s okay to have “contradictory” labels as long as you aren’t hurting anyone

And last of all, take your time. You don’t have to find a label tomorrow or today. It’s okay. Don’t rush, take a deep breath. Maybe you’ll find labels, maybe you won’t! And that’s okay! Live your life and be happy, that’s all that matters

Feel free to look through my #gender questioning tag if you want to!

Honestly my advice is just forget everything, names and labels and pronouns and presentation, and ask yourself one thing: what makes you happy?

Obsessing over gender and asking yourself “what gender am I?” is never useful, try asking yourself instead “what makes me happy?” and “what makes me feel truest to myself?”

Does being nonbinary make you happy? Be nonbinary!! Does using she/they make you happy?? Use she/they!! 

Make sure to prioritise your happiness!! Happiness first, labels second. Literally my dude just be happy and be yourself and everything will fall into place.

And remember, the entire queer community is here for you, okay? It might seem lonely at times but there is a whole community of people that will love you and accept you for who you are and support you no matter what. We love you and it’s going to be okay.

I hope I could help you out, and I wish you luck with your gender journey :D Lmk if you have any more questions, and have a great day/night :DD

#ask #anon #helping out a questioning person

[shidiand]

How do you imagine Tenco's Story ending in your head?

that is a GREAT but UNEXPECTED QUESTION freshlybaked "spider" bread and i'm really happy to have the opportunity to try and answer this ageless question that has burned within all of us in the tenco's story iv waiting room community since 2013. it is an incredible coincidence (or is it? 👀) that i was just talking to Risa about tenco's this (edit: yesterday) morning so i am extra double super in the mood to talk about Tenco's Story today. so excellent of a coincidence is this that i am tempted to refer you to them in case you wanted to hear their thoughts on the matter that would probably turn out super cool, but that is neither here nor there; let us talk Tenco's Story.

i of course must mention my unadvertised and modestly detailed commentary on tenco's i-iii at https://shidiand.tumblr.com/tencos, presenting slightly interesting facts in an unwieldy and difficult-to-use format, but as it dates back to june 2017, i want to take some time to understand my feelings about the series once more.

tenco's story is a series that has a lot of meaning to me.

i took on my current name of shidiand in november of 2013. i was still in 11th grade at the time, 4th year of high school, and a very socially isolated person. i should say i was introduced to touhou in 7th grade, 2010, so i was still working through a 3 years-strong phase of trying to simultaneously both find an outlet for and bottle up an endless wellspring of awkward weeaboo-gamer nerd energy at the time.

i had my first real foray onto the internet in 2010, tried out twitter, followed some RPers and other people who had Cool Touhou Usernames. didn't really go anywhere. i had maybe 50 followers, i dont really know the count but it was definitely a) double digits and b) pretty low. didn't know what to tweet about. didn't know how to hit it off with others. i think there was basically maybe only 3 other people i ever properly interacted with. oh shit i was playing league of legends at the time. oh my god. i really did play league of .. oh my god. let's move on.

aw shit im super digressing amn't i. well.

this is just how it goes when i write essays on tumblr.com.

i'm afraid you're just along for the ride at this point so please do your best to enjoy it.

i got kind of tired of twitter at the time because i didnt know what to do with it. didnt know how to interact with people and didnt find the people i was following interesting, so i ghosted on out of there by the end of 2012. didnt deactivate it until like 2015 but at that point that was just burning away my dark history. anyways. november 2013.

--im taking a lot of time here trawling through old files on my computer, my tumblr blog, notification emails still lying around in my gmail inbox from twitter, the dropbox i didn't actually use but it had several tenco's story pictures on it but i deleted them so this was useless, ... to trace the timeline of this story and im really seeing a lot of remnants of dark history here you know? did you know i wrote a letter to a girl i had a crush on valentine's day 2014, slipped it into her locker, and anxiously hung around nearby at lunchtime to see how she reacted at lunchtime? i certainly didn't, or at least i made darn ass sure to forget about this incredible virgin incident and not remember it, ever, until i came across the records of it that i thoughtfully preserved for the me of 5 years later today. ok well now i have to read the letter to see if it was as bad as it just sounded there brb

ok so the good news is that it was actually very focused on being positive and full of admiration for the cool things she did instead of being a confession letter so i am very glad i was able to be a respectful chad 5 years ago, but the bad news is that the jokes, the actual sentences i put together. oh my god. but i mean. well. at least i got the spirit. its certainly a step up from this other person in my grade, WEEABOO ANDREW, YOU MAY RECALL THIS STORY AND HIS NAME FROM PREVIOUS STORYTIMES, THE MAN THE MYTH THE LEGEND who came to school on halloween once cosplaying kirito from sword art online and got very possessive about people asking if they could hold his black replica plastic sword, and probably worse, dropped a "will you be my girlfriend" letter into the locker of my homie and fellow trombonist samantha, who was a little bit nerdy, hung out with the anime-likers who were actually sociable and fun to be around so you can imagine why weeaboo andrew was into her, which had i) a direct quotation from SAO chapter 16.5 (origin of the famous "glopping noise" line), and ii) a condom. jesus christ. i dont want to talk about this any more. next topic.

i also put this drawing of iku nagae and her skarmory (actually an albinoss from 18 DRAGONS) on the other side of the letter because it was the coolest thing i could think of drawing at the time. and i completely agree with 2014 me because it IS super fucking cool. hell fuckin yeah

https://shidiand.tumblr.com/post/76301993387/iku-nagae-ft-that-thing-that-supposedly-is-a

alright that was a fun little trip down memory lane but lets get back on track. november 2013. i started anew as shidiand. still awkward, still learning how to express myself and looking for my place among others. i followed some touhou bloggers, hung around r/touhou a lot as well. in december i got my first tablet for christmas, a wacom bamboo splash. i still use this thing! the usb cable disconnects if you bump it so i have to find just the perfect position to sit in whenever i want to draw, but its served me well. anyways. i was just starting to play around with digital art but i remember, probably just before new years, for some reason i wanted to find out more about tenshi hinanawi (i don't remember why. tenshi wasn't even one of my favourite characters at the time) so i went googling and right there on zerochan i found this:

https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=23525572

this was during my dark souls phase so i just went BANANAS at the sight of this. this was literally the coolest image i had ever seen in my internet life. That image alone made me want to draw in hopes that I could make something as cool as that someday.

it wasn't immediately after but i soon discovered tenco's story, and it was love. kannnu was my very first artistic inspiration, and for a long time, my only one. i absolutely idolized them at the time. since then, ive found other artists to look up to, in a more healthy manner, but to this day i still look up to kannnu, still admire their work a lot.

i played around with drawing, followed the lives of people on tumblr, started reading touhou fanfiction, made a new twitter. i met a lot of new people along the way. some people i havent stuck with, some i cut ties with, and some people i still keep in contact with today. over those long 5 years of being shidiand, i found a name (i used to use shidian and then shid, but someone called me shidi once and i realized that was a lot better), how to reach out to others, how to express myself, places that i could feel included in. this is why i owe a blood debt to evelyn, who permitted me to kneel at her throne and was like "yea ok you can join my discord server u seem cool". evelyn, if you were confused by me ominously mentioning this blood debt/blood oath in a tumblr reply 1-2 years ago, this is the context. those 5 years were like a coming of age of sorts, that i never had when i was in high school.

and my love for tenco's story, that inspired me to draw that day, has been with me since almost the very beginning of my time as shidiand. from the beginning, i have always encouraged people to READ TENCO'S STORY, like the kin of those who cry PLAY MELTY or WATCH SYMPHOGEAR. i think my very first sidebar description was something akin to a prayer, written in very choral language, hoping for the day tenco's story iv was completed, ..., "meanwhile, furious shitposting". kannnu's work, finding delight in whatever they chose to draw, has been at my side, all along. my true mentor, my guiding moonlight...

so that's why i still to this day love tenco's story so much.

let's talk about tenco's story.

tenco's story is a story told through single pictures. the plot is vague, and details are sparse. dialogue is rare. we only know what has happened; we seldom know why. furthermore, there are many gaps between scenes that the reader is left to fill in for themselves; we see only snapshots that form an hazy outline of the events that occurred, and must imagine the rest. motivations and explanations fail me. but even with a barebones plot, tenco's story has themes, and if nothing else, those have to be carried through.

the main theme, of course, is journey and travel, but there are also other ideas, too. i actually think they start to change as the series goes on:

book i, where tenshi runs away from home, is about striking out on your own. it's a very fun and unpredictable journey, together with a friend.

book ii, where tenshi and iku are separated, forces tenshi to find and rely on companions of her own even more. but they do so, and they are able overcome hardships, and there is food and festival.

book iii marks a climax, reasserting tenshi's goal of finding the sword of hisou. i feel like the journey shifts from a travel (visiting) to a path forwards (making your way through). perhaps this is just something i get from knowing the locations from dark souls (Anor Londo, New Londo Ruins, the Great Hollow), but the locations start to give more of a sense of verticality, like they're emphasizing tenshi's climb to the summit. the hardships and enemies are the greatest they've been yet, and right when they near the top, tenshi and iku start to bleed. the book ends on an uncertain note.

if i had to describe the type of journey and travel that tenshi and iku undertake, there's this sense of wonder at discovering new places, wandering from vista to vista in delight, but also a sense of conquering, making it through a difficult patch. the sequence from pages 2-44 to 2-51, taken together, convey this sense of overcoming the best. it's one of my favourite parts. again, although the tone definitely starts to lean towards struggle in book iii, i think tenco's sense of wonder really is the heart of the series. there's no map of the world, no predicting where tenshi and iku will end up next. and through their travels, though they come across many enemies, they also find friends -- places of refuge, places full of life, people who will look after them for a few days, companions who will stay with them for the rest of the journey. at the end of book iii, we see a long haired tenshi with purple hair being impaled by the sword of hisou (3-33, see also this extra illustration that risa pointed out to me http://sinnnkai.blog.fc2.com/blog-entry-195.html), and regular short haired tenshi continuing on her journey (3-42). if we ignore the out-of-story images where tenshi has the sword of hisou, tenshi has actually only ever used her sunlight blade (2-24, 3-26, etc), so i think that the long haired tenshi on 3-33 is a different person altogether. (if i had to guess, she might be the purple haired woman in the top left of https://www.pixiv.net/member_illust.php?mode=medium&illust_id=35443328 as we have never seen that woman appear anywhere.) she probably has something to do with the flashbacks at the end of book ii and she might somehow be short-haired tenshi at the same time, but this is just speculation.

however, in 3-43, tenshi's hair is rather blue, so i don't know if this is the purple haired woman or not. if it is, tenshi is probably still fine and closing in on the summit, but if it isn't, then it's very worrying to see a picture of tenshi without any of her companions. it's very ominous.

meanwhile, iku, while climbing the red carpeted corridor, is stabbed, and disappears for a few pages. there's a black page, a shot of a shrine that strongly resembles the hakurei shrine, and a picture of iku standing behind someone in a tux, with the line "In the past, I was saved by the lady I was serving, you see?". and then iku wakes up in a field of flowers.

i think what this scene makes clear is a theme that has continued to appear and reappear throughout every book of "being saved, being aided by someone's kindness".

i think another theme that is implied and has to be addressed by this story of running away from home is "return". something im imagining is that the reason tenshi makes finding the sword of hisou her goal is because she wants to have something to prove herself with, to vindicate her when she comes home. but i don't think she needs to prove anything, and i ultimately think that she would be happier spending the rest of her life exploring.

so i think this should be what happens in the ending.

open on iku's journey, and give her a long sequence of travel without seeing tenshi. underline her newfound resolve. she climbs to the summit with albinoss, and finds the rest of tenshi's companions fallen. and in the last room is sword of hisou tenshi, who has lost herself, and it comes down to iku to bring her back. after a difficult battle, when both of them are on their last legs, iku is unable to stand any longer. but at this moment tenshi sees her companions struggling to get back up and reach her, and that's what brings her to her senses. and iku gets to see how many friends tenshi's been able to make on her own, and they finally and properly reunite. together, tenshi and iku carry each other out of the last room.

i don't think it's necessary to return to heaven. as a conclusion, dedicate some time to tenshi and iku travelling together. they're on their way back, revisiting old friends who helped them along the way, enjoying the journey. their last stop is the house of the elderly nawis (1-42). tenshi shows off the sword of hisou; she decided to keep it not as a trophy to show her family but as proof of the bonds of her companions. surrounded by friends, tenshi and iku decide to part ways with each other, knowing that the other will be alright. iku drifts among the clouds once more, and tenshi sets off for the horizon.

that's the plot that i'd write/just wrote. i don't really expect tenco's story iv to ever come out, though. i mentioned my first sidebar description earlier in this essay, but of course, you can see that it's been changed. 2 years ago, i read my hopeful prayer once more and was struck with a terrible melancholy, so now it reads this: "having come to terms with the fact that tenco's story iv will never be released, i can still live, knowing that the spirit of the journey will live on through kannnu's original works [...] meanwhile, furious shitposting".

on one level, tenco's story is a story, but in the process of following it, i came to think of the work itself as a journey too. you can constantly see kannnu's improvement between and even within each book. they have always drawn whatever they liked; what plot matters in the face of "I wanted to draw a beautiful sky." "I wanted to draw a fantastic battle." "I wanted to draw Dark Souls and Monster Hunter and Pokemon and Brave Fencer Musashi and Bokura no Taiyou and Touhou."

its not really kannnu's style to go back and tie up old ends. they just draw whatever makes them happy. so as i watch them continue to draw beautiful places and fantastic creatures, new characters heading out on journeys of their own or just enjoying their everyday lives, it's as if tenco's story never ended. the limits and consistency of that world ignored, and a new one springs up; in a way, the world of tenco's, which had such thin boundaries, just gets bigger.

but even so, having said all that, i still see them draw that short-haired tenshi from time to time. it makes me happy to see them remember tenco's story with such fondness. often crossing over with orion or roar or elweiss, you can see tenshi on another journey.

#tenco's story #freshlybakedspiderbread

[gristlegrinder]

tagged by @sainterly hello!! i’m so sorry, i told myself i was going to do this and then immediately forgot until i found it in my likes again, like, a month later. rules : answer the questions in a new post and tag 10 blogs you would like to know better tagging: .................nobody because i’m an awkward mess

under a cut because I’m not good at being concise

(A)ge: 19

(B)irthplace: New York!

(C)urrent Time: …8 in the morning. I haven’t slept. 

(D)rink You Had Last: I, uh, had one of hose starbucks doubleshot energy things around 9PM last night. yes, this is connected to the last answer. it was delicious and worth it.

(E)asiest Person To Talk To: Hm, depends? There’s a lot of people who fit this bill, but if I’m gonna be honest the answer is prooobably myself just because I’m one of those people who talks to myself constantly whenever I’m trying to work things out. 

(F)avorite Song: Well, The Past Is A Grotesque Animal, definitely. Recently, I’ve been in love with Homecoming Serf, Fuel, I Listened, Proof, and Holy Water.

Not necessarily my favorite songs, but I recently made a playlist for my tabletop group and it’s got a lot of current lex bangers on it. And A Woman, A Woman, A Century Of Sleep has been today’s loop-on-repeat track, so that counts for something.

(...I’m bad at answering this question.)

(G)rossest Memory: Surprisingly, I don’t have a lot of these? Coming up with one is hard. I dropped a can of soda on my foot when I was eight and I remember one of my toes having this really nasty purple bruise for a week afterwards, I guess? 

(H)ogwarts House: I was a self-identified Ravenclaw for the longest time, but recently I was re-housed into Gryffindor. And I’ve moved far, far enough past my pretentious “ew gryffindors are all fake fans of HP who just like it because it’s the ‘good guy’ house” phase to absolutely embrace this switch.

(I)n Love?: I’m not gonna @ them here but I love my girlfriend!! Nin’s a babe

(J)ealous Of People?: Yeah, that sort of happens. But I’m trying to get better at reminding myself that it’s ultimately useless to hold myself up to other people. 

(K)illed Someone?: ;) only past iterations of myself!! existence ain’t permanent

(L)ove At First Sight or Walk By Again?: Both are probably bad ways to approach relationships tbh. 

(M)iddle Name: I hate it, so we’re not mentioning it. 

(N)umber Of Siblings : 2-4 depending on how you see it! Two half brothers, two stepsiblings (our parents have since divorced, but we still chill and see each other as kinda-siblings, it’s complicated).

(O)ne Wish: Certain individuals currently associated with America can drop dead finally, and also maybe I finally work up the damn courage to start bugging people about uh, religious conversion things and uh, therapy.

(P)erson You Last Called: Probably my dad. 

(Q)uestions You’re Asked The Most: I get a lot of surprised you’re nineteen?!s from classmates / parents’ friends / online people, but I don’t know if that counts. Then, like, generic questions about how school’s going, I think. 

(R)easons To Smile: I move back up to uni at the end of the month, and I’ll be living alone! My classes next semester are all really fun! Audio/Video Production, Film History 1895-1950, Film Theory. I’m finally making progress towards getting my driver’s license! 

(S)ong You Last Sang: When I’m home alone, I’m basically jamming out nonstop, so:

— Q.U.E.E.N. has been stuck in my head for days.

— Guardians has been my muse for a character I’ve been designing? so it gets mumbled-under-my-breath-sung a lot.

— The Dismemberment Song is probably just my favorite thing to belt at the top of my lungs. in general.

(T)ime You Woke Up: …………uh, see previous answers, because I still haven’t slept, (as for yesterday, I woke up around noon).

(U)nderwear Color: I never really cared for “what color is your underwear” questions on a get to know me meme (but teal).

(V)acation Destination: I’m going to Seattle in three weeks for a couple days! Really excited because the tabletop game I run is set there, so it’ll be cool to see some of the places I have as plot points. And a friend’s got me excited for the thought of doing a road trip across America after we graduate. Biggest dream travel spots are Liverpool (points at my gf), St Petersburg, Tokyo, and Antarctica, though. 

(W)orst Habit: Saying I’m going to do things and then the ADHD brain crashes for like, a week, and all of the things I need to do pile up and then I don’t get to any of them. Also forgetting to reply to skype/discord/etc messages.

(X)-rays?: I’ve never broken a bone in my body, or really ever been hospitalized as far as I can remember. 

(Y)our Favorite Food: Cochinita pibil (which is a Yucatán slow-roasted pulled pork marinated in Seville oranges, it’s good shit), biscuits (sausage gravy optional), lately I’ve been craving cocktail shrimp. 

(Z)odiac Sign: Libra!

#lex.txt #i promise i still think you're cool and want to chat more i'm just so so bad at this

[cow3survivor]

Episode 1 Pt. 2: “Playing a Game With A Fresh Slate” - Jessica

SAM

https://youtu.be/gmZlNel3IZM

JESSICA

We did it! We won immunity! Shout out to Sammy for making the flag that won us the advantage and Pete for doing so well in luck! Also in 6 hours or however long it has been since my last confessional, I have decided I do like Sam and we will align. So I guess I want to align with everyone except Madison... hopefully if we lose she is out first!

JABARI

So our tribe is heading to tribal and I'm very nervous because anyone can go atp. I need to make sure that isn't me.

JENNET

we flopped that :(( and i think i may be one of the reasons :( trying my best to not let anybody know im upset but as tribal council looms closer im getting worried

(a little later)

im trying not to throw anybody under the bus but i think that im voting out nash :(( they havent been super active and they havent texted me back since i texted them so it just makes sense to boot them :((

(after eating some rice)

voting out another black woman weighing heavy on me :( i hate that its coming to this

PETE

our tribe had a celebratory discord call which only consisted of like 4 or 5 people but i joined later after everyone left anyways i had a long nice chat with Sam in which i found out he hosts an in person survivor with his friends at home and hes nice ANYWAYS he apparently, like me, is cursed to forever be a premerger. So from here on out i solemnly swear to never vote for Sam during the premerge phase fuck yeah

JAKE

https://youtu.be/aVQKOOrapj0

remind me tomorrow to chill out and take a back seat on the vote lmaooo

PENNINO

Going to tribal i feel like i'm pretty much safe. I feel like that 4 minutes was a good time for the easy jigsaw, but Ethan getting 1.5 minutes is almost impossible. Assessment on my tribemates Jabari: Seems like a nice person, has talked more and has been much more active, I think she has gotten herself off of the chopping block. Jake: Still a nice person, but has lost some activity during yesterday. Possible Ally still Jennet: Nice, active enough, not a target Jones: Not very active. A bit of a target. I will most probably to vote her to be say. Lindsay: Very active, we talk to each other a lot, nice person, possible ally Mikey: Nice person, nothing much, not a target Nash: ˆˆˆ Nicole: ˆˆˆ, but not as active Silver: Active, nice person, but he doesn't respond to my dm's that much, but, still, a possible ally. I feel pretty good about this tribal honestly

JONES

https://youtu.be/2UtH-dnv0i4

SAM

https://youtu.be/lzZOK2CxsA4

MIKEY

WELL HELLO LADIES. SO SO SO SO SO! Instead of rambling Ill just get on with it. Starting off, Me and Nash REALLY freaking connected. Like they’re so fun to talk to!! BUT. They’ve been inactive. and so Pennino is now going around spreading their name, and basically everyone is saying sure why not. This SUCKS because Me and Jabari wanted to make an alliance with them and jake, but now we are faced with a problem. We both have basically decided that instead of Nash we are gonna drag in Peppino. I brought that idea up because me and him are both the youngest people in the game, and I really wanna go far with Peppino. My goal this season is to beat a bunch of adults and make them feel angry that a 15 year old outsmarted them. Its so funny! Anyways besides that, Im feeling good about that 4. I wish it wasn't Nash going home, considering the only other name out was Jones, and I woulda much rather did her, but you know that's how the cards fall I guess. A bad bitch is done with tonights confessional. A bad bitch is now gonna press submit. A bad bitch says GOODBYE ASF!

SILVER

https://youtu.be/JLwZRNesRHI

LINDSAY

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1YF3mYJfYIq_2Qco8EQYq3JowyMSbin8M/view?usp=sharing

NASH 

im crying i have no idea whats going on!!! HKDHEJDHW all i know is talk to mikey and play 8 ball with nicole

(a little later)

ETHAN 

Charan's Hot Confessional Questions

<a:dance:777952213808447519> 1. Give us a Trust Rankings of your tribemates! Who are you bonding with the most? Who are you bonding with the least? I trust Shane the most, and right now that’s because he is the only person that is actively strategizing. Besides that, I feel the most amicable with Jessica, lovealis, and Daisy who are wonderful people. Unfortunately both Cloud and Madison have made 0 effort with me and are generally inactive with me. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 2. Have any alliances formed on your tribe? If so, how loyal are you to these alliances? If not, do you think there are alliances out there that don't include you? There are no alliances that I’m in that have been formed, but I suspect there are some out there. Alliances without me are ok, I just need to know about them, and if there are any right now, I don’t know about them, and that’s concerning. <a:dance:777952213808447519> 3. How did your first Safari experience/run go! Did you get any closer to finding an idol? I WILL NEVER FIND ANYTHING IN A LUCK BASED SYSTEM <a:dance:777952213808447519> 4. Explain why Ryan and Charan are hotter than you A fact of life... these two slay.

LOVELIS

So things are going okay on the tribe so far! The first immunity win was rather nice & I like being able to have a bit more time to read people until were thrown into the pressure of a tribal. So far I’m definitely clicking the most with Shane and then probably Jessica but the time zones are getting in the way a little - just glad I have more time to really click with people and try and cement a place for me in this tribe. I think my contributions to the challenges have definitely helped my standing but not everybody is being super social with me so that’s a little bit of a worry - just gonna have to go ham at bothering people in private messages until they respond I suppose! 🤪

MADISON

Hi beautiful humans!!! I wish I had tea for y'all but we've won 2 challenges in a row and I really don't see the grind stopping in the foreseeable future so the tribe is kinda just vibing which gives me a little bit more time to build relationships which is a blessing and a half. I always get extremely paranoid the first week in games so the fact that I know for certain I won't be first boot is amazing!!! Tribe bonding is scheduled for tonight so hopefully by next round I'll have an alliance or 2 (maybe even the idol if I'm feeling really lucky)

JENNET

Last night really lit up a light in me. it sounds like everybody wants to work with me which is good so im now newly excited to play the game

SAMMY

okay okay okay so I would do a full out cast assessment but I literally just can not do that rn...so let's talk about who I vibe with most and who I have made like strong connections with so far! Initially, both Daisy and Jess have declared I am someone they really want to work with which is perfect for me because I want to work with them as well. I know daisy is going to be such a great competitor and I want to be on her side 100% but same with jess...im such a loyal bitch okay!! Me and Kiki really bonded over that logic puzzle so she went up in my rankings (as if she was ever low to begin with) I am not sure how well me/Pete/Nicole(opposite tribe) are gonna mesh...like I really hope me and Nicole can come together this game but I know we are just gonna end up being paranoid of each other but I love her so much. I REALLY WANTED TO BE ON A TRIBE WITH NASH AND JENNET I luv their vibes so much. okay back to my tribe tho, we won reward #mwah! I put so much effort into that because I just knew if we were to go to tribal that's an easy thing under my belt I could use as a "omg u need me for challenges". I noticed I was coming on a little too strong and presenting myself as a leader which I don't think really hurt me I think it made more people realize they should talk to me KHFBHIS. Umm okay so I love lovelis even tho he is not very active but I just know we will have each others backs for a bit. I connected well with Shane and Ethan very early and they just seem so sweet. I think if we would have went to tribal sam/lovelis/Pete could have been in danger. I would have preferred sam cause he isn't that active but he did help out some with the flag work. ANYWAYS this was not my best confessional but I do want to point out I FOUND A VOTE BLOCK SO HOLLLLLLAAAAAA! we are using this as a way to gain peoples trust so I told daisy and jess to strengthen those relationships mhmm

NASH

me pretending to be surprised that ppl wanted to vote me out first because i was kinda inactive.... i thought survivor would be different 💔

JENNET

not me being targeted for being a pretty black girl with a juicy fat ass *sad face emojis*

(a little later)

its tribal council and im shaking and im nervous, this could go horribly wrong or this could go super right

TRIBAL COUNCIL

SILVER EXIT INTERVIEW

#cowsurvivor #confessionals