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sulevinblade · 6 years

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OC Interview Meme

Tagged by: @mocha-writes (hopefully it tags you properly this time? But still, THANK YOU!!)

I’ll tag: @gremlinquisitor ofc, and anyone else who wants to do it! I don’t know who all among you may have already done it for your OCs but I love reading these!!

Since I did Ghilanel here, this one will be with Varevas. I’m... sorry, about him.

1. What is your name?

“You’ve lost my confidence with the very first question.”

2. What is your real name?

“Varevas, First of Clan Lavellan and Lord Inquisitor. I should make you use the entire thing for the duration as penance for not doing the least amount of background research.”

3. Do you know why you were called that?

“The end of it is just titles, of course, and I’m called those because I earned them, more or less. My given name is a variation of one given to at least one child in every generation of our clan in order to ensure someone carries our freedom forward. But no pressure.”

4. Are you single or taken?

“I am taken, frequently and to great mutual satisfaction.”

5. Have any abilities or powers?

“I love hearing them called powers because the implication is I went to bed one night unable to conjure a great fist of stone out of the loose Fade energy pouring from the rifts and then woke up able to do so. Maybe that’s how it looks to people who don’t possess magic of their own. I have many abilities, learned and honed through time and training. I have one power and that is closing rifts. I had nothing to do with that.”

6. Stop being a Mary Sue.

“I have no idea who that is.”

7. What’s your eye color?

“Green, light green.”

8. How about your hair color?

“Dark red. I’m thinking of growing it out.”

9. Have you any family members?

“My mother was killed by human bandits but my father is still alive, and I have one younger brother and a cousin with whom I’m quite close.”

10. Oh? What about pets?

“No, but recently we were in the Emerald Graves and I found a handful of caterpillars all climbing on some sort of communal nest or cocoon site. I didn’t really think anything of it and no one there knew what kind they were or if they were dangerous, but they did seem to respond to the sound of our voices. It was as though it startled them, but it looked like they were dancing, so I spent a few minutes teaching them different rhythms. I don’t think they cared for it but I never said I was good with animals. Bull thought it was hilarious.”

11. That’s cool I guess, now tell me about something you don’t like.

“I don’t like having my ancedotes dismissed. If we’re looking on a larger scale, I really don’t like that there’s an ancient magister threatening to destroy the world and start over and some people’s greatest concern is still how the ears of the person leading the fight to stop that are shaped.”

12. Do you have any hobbies/activities you like doing?

“I enjoy reading. My clan didn’t have many books and what we did have were focused on our history and written by other elves, which is very effective if you don’t ever plan on interacting with anyone other than elves ever. I can understand why many in my clan would have preferred that but I’ll take Skyhold’s library any day.”

13. Ever hurt anyone before?

“Oh yes, it’s a running joke. If you asked Dorian what my hobbies are, he’d tell you it’s indiscriminate murder, but I think I’m very discriminating.”

14. Ever… killed anyone before?

“I got ahead of myself with the last one. Well, asked and answered, but again, it’s not indiscriminate.” He looks unusually serious for a moment. “I learned my history and I know what indiscriminate murder looks like. What Corypheus intends is indiscriminate. What I am doing, as a representative of the Inquisition, is as thoughtful as it can afford to be. I don’t expect the families of people on the other side to thank me but I am doing what I feel has to be done.”

15. What kind of animal are you?

“A bear. Please ignore all follow up commentary from Dorian should there be any.”

16. Name your worst habits.

“I enjoy reading but I’m very bad at finishing books. There’s a stack of them beside my bed, all with bookmarks in them just waiting for my attention span to resolve itself. I don’t spend as much time here [in Skyhold] as I probably ought to but I’m not comfortable here. I interrupt Dorian’s research on a daily basis, though I can’t say that’s really all that bad since he still gets an impressive amount done.”

17. Do you look up to anyone at all?

“It’s disappointing to me that our differing opinions on the sovereignty of mages keeps Vivienne from giving me so much as the time of day because she’s achieved a kind of power and status that defies all expectations I have ever held for myself as a mage, and I was going to be Keeper of my clan. She’s competent, powerful, self-possessed, and a dazzling conversationalist. Many of those same things can be said of Solas but he also hasn’t kept himself apart in the same way so what admiration I may have for him is tempered by familiarity. We’re friendly, though I do still look up to him and now that he knows we share an interest in manipulating the energy coming from the rifts I think we’ll become even closer. Vivienne, however, is a class apart.”

18. Gay, straight, or bisexual?

“Gay. What a strange way to follow up your previous question.”

19. Do you go to school?

“And yet another unexpected turn! I began a mentorship under my clan’s Keeper as soon as I came into my magic. She ensured I studied other subjects as well but the main focus was history and lore; that’s a Keeper’s function, after all, it’s... it’s literally the name. Keeper.”

20. Do you ever want to marry and have kids one day?

“I haven’t really thought about it. I want to spend the rest of my life with Dorian but marriage is complicated for a lot of reasons, and frankly I can’t imagine anyone who takes the threat our world faces right now seriously daydreaming about raising a child. I want to make sure we have a world where raising families is still a possibility at the end of this but for myself, I don’t know.”

21. Do you have any fanboys/fangirls?

"I pay for my drinks at the Herald’s Rest just like anyone else. I really don’t care for being recognized even though I realize it’s inevitable. Except with you, though, you didn’t even know my name.”

22. What are you most afraid of?

“Fucking it all up. Absolutely just ruining everything. I like to keep my fears general so I’m always just a little terrified, it’s very motivational.”

23. What do you usually wear?

“I prefer light clothing that allows me to move easily. I need to ground myself in order to cast but I need to have my arms and body free.”

24. Do you love someone?

“I do. I never imagined that being an outcome of all this but I’m also lucky enough that he loves me back.”

25. When was the last time you wet yourself?

“Have you ever been gripped by the wrist and hoisted like a wet rag doll by a twelve-foot-tall creature made of red lyrium and avarice who wanted nothing more than to snap your hand off and kill you, knowing all your back-up had fled because you sent them away and the only outcome of this encounter was your death? You’d pee a little too, trust me.”

26. Well, it’s not over yet!

“I wouldn’t be surprised if he made me piss myself again, but this time I’ll be ready.”

27. What class are you? (High class, middle class, low class)

“Being the First of the clan meant I enjoyed certain privileges but our clan was not a wealthy one. My life here in Skyhold is an improvement in a lot of ways over life with the clan in that regard, and I suppose I am a lord now.”

28. How many friends do you have?

“More than six but less than ten. Draw your own conclusions.”

29. What are your thoughts on pie?

“Surprisingly difficult to make but worth it.”

30. Favourite drink?

“The water in Skyhold is the cleanest, freshest tasting water I’ve ever had, and it’s often bitterly cold too, so cold your teeth ache when you drink it. The castle is too cold to really enjoy that but I do enjoy it. Dorian thinks I’m mad but it’s the only cold thing I like.”

31. What’s your favourite place?

“My quarters, with all the doors closed and curtains hauled over them, a fire on and my lover close at hand. It’s the only way I can thaw out.”

32. Are you interested in someone?

“Keep. Up.”

33. What’s your bra cup size and/or how big is your willy?

“I've received no complaints.”

34. Would you rather swim in the lake or the ocean?

“Dorian tells me in Tevinter they have great indoor baths for swimming in. Given the option, one of those.”

35. What’s your type?

"Fire and Rift.” He pauses and sighs. “I don’t know that I could ever be with someone who wasn’t a mage. It made life in the clan very isolating because even as the First you were still seen mostly as competition for younger mages who wanted to keep their place in the clan. Having a ‘type’ never occurred to me. It still hadn’t when I ended up here. I don’t know that I have one. I love Dorian. I don’t need a type.”

36. Any fetishes?

His eyes flash and narrow and Varevas leans forward in his chair. “Whenever possible, I try to convince Dorian to keep his clothes on when I go down on him. I get off on the smell of the leather and the jingle of all those ridiculous buckles and clasps keeping him bound up while I try to make him explode.” He maintains eye contact the entire time he speaks and there’s not a hint of color on his cheeks. “Dorian is an incredibly private man who would be profoundly hurt if I revealed anything factual in a situation like this, so do with that statement what you will.”

37. Seme or uke? Top or Bottom? Dominant or Submissive?

“We’re done discussing this.”

38. Camping or indoors?

“Indoors. Who doesn’t like being warm and dry?”

39. Are you wanting the interview to end?

“If that’s what it takes to end these questions about my private affairs then yes.”

40. Now it’s over!

“Brilliant. You can show yourself out.”

#varevas lavellan #the dalish disaster himself #the pet question is absolutely a reference to the caterpillar rave vine #i was watching vine compilations the other night #and decided that one is var #also ctrl+f how many times he mentions dorian #the boy's got it bad #this was so much fun #i love him even if he's not my canon inq #thank you again for the tag!!#oc interview meme

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heloisedc · 3 years

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Dear mother,

It could not have been a singular origin, the singularity of a beginning, the point of the big bang; rather, it would have to have been a moment of originary coincidence. A coincidence, a coincident, the doubling of a co inside, of an originary two, the condition made possible by the originary trace, which is to say, all conditions. It would thus leave traces, footprints that rippled both ways in the event, forward and backward.[1]

I had been assigned to this man, and upon seeing him, I could not believe my eyes. He was of utter beauty, grazing perfection. The reproduction of the image of the Vitruvian man […][2] His skin texture was perfect, the individual hairs on head and body had been lovingly and intricately manufactured and placed.[3] He was transparent but impenetrable.[4]

It was evidently a case of “love at first sight” […][5] He would allow but one assistant to work with him […][6], which is how I ended up moving into his home. The habit of living a long time innocently together, far from weakening the first sentiments I felt for him, had contributed to strengthen them.[7]

I had studied all the details of housekeeping; I understood cooking and cleaning; I knew the prices of food, and also how to choose it; I could keep accounts accurately […].[8] Man has lashes on the eye lids on either side ; and I made it my daily care to stain his ; so ardent was he in the pursuit of beauty, that he must even colour his very eyes.[9] […] And he was in the habit of washing his face seven hundred times daily, and I would be strictly observing that number.[10] I would always take care of the oiling of his body, carefully spreading it in an even manner all over his stature and […] employing extracts, that had been recently prepared and preserved with great care.[11]

Now for his diet: for lunch honey, for dinner a biscuit and vegetables, meat infrequently.... In this way his body kept the same condition, as if on a straight line, without being sometimes healthy, sometimes sick, and without growing heavier Even outside the strictly Pythagorean context, regimen was regularly defined with reference to these two associated dimensions of good health maintenance and proper care of the soul.[12] And there were always drugs around—most notably, the jars of white crosses and other uppers that he kept in the fridge next to his protein fortified milkshakes.[13]

Every day, I would go into his bedroom, search around for his running shorts and shoes and T shirt, change his clothes in eagerness, and soon enough, his body would find itself out on the pavement, with his feet pounding the ground and his heart beginning to thump away.[14]

And then, drawn out from his body, his sinews formed a bundle of dark, shiny stalks, not unlike the bundle of lightning bolts that lay beside him, although these were bright and smoking.[15] Now between the dry head, more than dead, almost abstract, empty and desiccated, suitably objectivized, wholly exterior, pierced, visible, nameable, articulated, analyzable, between the skull and the rest of the world, a circumstantial halo of light, like the ones worn by the great saints, replaces, at bone level, the lining of flesh, fat, muscle, organs, skin, veins, tendons, hair, radiance, charm, beauty, glory.[16]

Perhaps it was the fascination of seeing that particular beauty, force and dedication so explicitly personified in a human body,[17] or perhaps it was something else. But in any way, I wanted to be seen with him.

I once wondered, For what purpose?[18] And he asked me if I thought it was truly possible to think without arriving at beauty, without penetrating the secret place where life bubbles up, without the transfiguration of the body?[19] To Lenny, you see, beauty was some inherent property, to be found suffused all through the body of that which may be called beautiful […][20] In an ecstasy of joy, no doubt intensified by the joy I felt in making him shine before my friends, with extreme volubility, I reiterated, stroking and patting him as though he was a horse that had just come first past the post: “You’re the most beautiful man I know, do you hear?”[21]

Mother, I was incredibly happy with him. I had learned all that I could about his passion and would assist him with all my powers. But then came the move. We needed a new place to live, which is how we met Ludwig.

Wandering in the public square, a lit lantern in hand in the middle of the day, […] A garden more inviting than Eden would […] meet our eyes.[22] On the door of the magnificent garden was written with golden letters: 'The Abode of Beauty'. “The abode of Beauty!” Lenny had exclaimed, “Oh! that is what I want to see!”[23]

Once we arrived, we studied him and were pleased with what we had found,[24] which led to us moving in.

For some time after our arrival, every thing he saw excited wonder and admiration; and not till he was a little familiarized with the new objects, did he ask reasonable questions.[25]

During our breakfast, instead of speaking with me, as we used to, Lenny would often look out of the window at the […] small garden, brilliantly lit without shadows or oppressive heat […][26]. I felt uneasy. You see, Mother, he started to deck himself with plumes, necklaces, armlets, […][27] and earrings bearing gems that looked like diamonds.[28] I felt completely shallow and useless.. [29]

When I saw Ludwig look at Lenny with lust […][30], the hatred of Ludwig gnawed my heart, but it was a hatred mingled with admiration of the beautiful, adulated body of his.

I would often glance through the windows, observing him move, sculpt, construct. And with every drop of sweat, it would feel like Ludwig morphed, changing simultaneously to Lenny’s body.

I would not have been jealous if he had enjoyed his pleasures in my vicinity, with my encouragement, completely under my surveillance, thereby relieving me of any fear of mendacity,[31] but he was excluding me from all his activities.

Mother, it was not good for me. […] If he left my side for a moment, I became anxious, began to imagine that he had spoken to or simply looked at Ludwig. If he was not in the best of tempers, I thought that I must be causing him to miss or to postpone some appointment. Reality is never more than a first step towards an unknown on the road to which one can never progress very far. It is better not to know, to think as little as possible, not to feed one’s jealousy with the slightest concrete detail. Unfortunately, in the absence of an outer life, incidents are created by the inner life too; in the absence of expeditions with him, the random course of my solitary reflections furnished me at times with some of those tiny fragments of the truth which attract to themselves, like a magnet, an inkling of the unknown, which from that moment becomes painful.[32]

On one somber evening Lenny came up to me, looked me straight into the soul and said, “A little while ago I did not know something that I know now; I know with whom I shall die.”[33]

[…] I then knew loneliness and isolation and I felt […] like an alien from another world.

Now, Mother, I was already hurting all over. I would have many sleepless nights. But it only got worse, the exclusion only intensified…

One day, he got out of bed and walked into the bathroom for a shave and for the remainder of the morning ritual,[34] without even saying good morning to me. Everything happened, then, during the seconds of complete veiling. Hardly had it begun than a strange light, yellow and tawny, resembling nothing else, neither the evening nor the dawn, invaded the environment; the glory of orange light intercepted by the walls of my abode disappeared, giving way to a somber and magic bath […].[35] It was a surprise bath, where Ludwig had taken him to an upper floor; he was then tipped backwards into the water. [36] He gesticulated me to leave. I had always assisted him in cleaning himself, and could not bear letting him do it alone. I sat down beside the door, hearing unconscionable noise and splashing.[37] I then overheard him, whispering incoherently while giggling like a little girl: "Ludwig… Ludwig, I love you...Don't laugh at me, please don't laugh!...[38] I thought to myself: Oh, I shall die of pain and love and jealousy!”[39]

After a while, he suddenly stepped outside, catching me in the act of eavesdropping. It was too late, now, to draw back, and since he was about to know all, in order not to seem too miserable, too jealous and inquisitive, I called out in a cheerful, casual tone of voice: “Please don’t bother; I just happened to be passing, and saw the light.”[40] I looked at his body and found it clean as virgin silver, […] whereat he rejoiced exceedingly and his breast expanded with gladness,[41] and then happily frolicked away. I collapsed on the chair right in front of the seemingly endless stairs.

When Lenny closed the door behind him, I heard a sort of echo in the roof; it sounded like voices […].[42] And then, blackness, […] vast emptiness stretching out infinitely.[43] Deep, dark, dank, dismal silence.[44] the infinite void of space[45] True loneliness occurs not when there are no others around me, but when I am deprived even of my shadow.[46]

Then he began to rush wildly about the room, shouting, singing, making a great noise […].[47] […] the ground below shuddered uneasily.[48] Then […] the chant, mingled with a murmur of supplication in the midst of ecstasy, seemed at times to stop altogether like a spring that had ceased to flow.[49]

Lenny returned; he was not at all surprised to encounter me before his door […].[50] After stepping out of the room, he shouted: “The glorious light makes me drunk with joy and my sense of wonder has no limits. This pleasure is truly divine! What pure happiness I feel in the bottom of my heart at this spectacle! What ecstasy! No, I cannot possibly give expression to it […]!”[51] He was absolutely in a state of ecstasy, and, involuntary, sinking on his knees, he passionately extended his arms towards Ludwig, certain he could not hear, and having no conception that he could see him.[52] Lenny stood, amazed, afraid of being mistaken, his joy tempered with doubt, and again and again stroked the object of his prayers. It was a body; he could feel the veins as he pressed them with his thumb.[53] And then, a cry of joy […]. [54]

This made me cry because I was not like it, not something complete, which turned toward the lost sweetness of life like a distant quotation. Happiness can only be thought of as something lost, as a beautiful alien. It cannot be anything more than a premonition that we approach with tears in our eyes without ever reaching it. [55]

I needed to get out.

Mother, I learned an important lesson. Accepting the unfortunate reality would calm my soul far more than endlessly aiming at an unattainable fiction.

When I got into the open air, I heard distinctly, as the night was still, Lenny’s joyous laughter.[56] When I looked back at what had once been a house, it struck me. He had sculpted the finest work of art I had ever seen, much like his own body. It was the most sublime, most charming, most graceful, most splendid, most touching[57] […] more safely guarded by its walls, more superb in palaces, more ornamented in respect to temples, more beautiful by virtue of its buildings, more illustrious in its porticoes, more splendid in its piazzas[58] He had given great attention to realistic detail, rendering each feature with painstaking precision, […][59] and the more time I spent studying the detail, the more I realized how much love and passion had gone into it.[60]

They were now mutually bound together, the lighter being restrained by the heavier, so that it cannot fly off; while, on the contrary, from the lighter tending upwards, the heavier is so suspended, that it cannot fall down.[61]

My Love […] must, like every mental state, even the most lasting, find itself one day obsolete, be “replaced,” and that when that day would come, everything that seemed to attach me so sweetly, indissolubly, to the memory of Lenny, would no longer exist for me. [62] Just as in morality, pleasure and pain have but a single source, and an end to pain is enough to produce pleasure.[63] I am looking forward to coming home.

I embrace you, […][64]

Your Son

[1] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[2] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[3] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[4] Hugo, Les Miserables

[5] Darwin, The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex

[6] Heilbron, The Sun in the Church

[7] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[8] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[9] Pliny, Natural History Volume 3

[10] Pliny, Natural History Volume 5

[11] Laennec, A Treatise on the Diseases of the Chest and on Mediate Auscultation

[12] Foucault, The History of Sexuality Volume 2

[13] Davis, High Weirdness

[14] Hofstadter, I Am a Strange Loop

[15] Calasso, The Marriage of Cadmus and Harmony

[16] Serres, Statues

[17] Rand, The Fountainhead

[18] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[19] Serres, The Five Senses

[20] Hays, Architecture Theory since 1968

[21] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol III The Guermantes Way

[22] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

[23] Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[24] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[25] Wollstonecraft, Complete Works

[26] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[27] Darwin, The Descent of Man and Selection in Relation to Sex

[28] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[29] Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[30] Colebrook, Irony The New Critical

[31] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol V The Captive The Fugitive

[32] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol V The Captive The Fugitive

[33] Bell, Men of Mathematics

[34] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[35] Serres, Biogea

[36] Foucault, History of Madness

[37] Seneca, Complete Works

[38] Rand, The Fountainhead

[39] Deleuze, Masochism Coldness and Cruelty Venus in Furs

[40] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol I Swanns Way

[41] The Book of the Thousand and One Nights

[42] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[43] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[44] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[45] Serres, The Birth of Physics

[46] Zizek, Less Than Nothing

[47] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[48] Asimov, Complete Robot Anthology

[49] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol III The Guermantes Way

[50] Harrison Wood Gaiger, Art in Theory 1648 1815

[51] Mallgrave, Architectural Theory

[52] Rousseau, Collected Works of Jean-Jacques Rousseau

[53] Freedberg, The Power of Images

[54] Grimm, Teutonic Mythology The Complete Work

[55] Sloterdijk, Critique of Cynical Reason

[56] The Book of the Thousand and One Nights Supplementary Nights

[57] Frankl, The Gothic

[58] Smith, Architecture in the Culture of Early Humanism

[59] Chilvers, A Dictionary of Modern and Contemporary Art Oxford

[60] Hovestadt Buehlmann, Quantum City

[61] Pliny, Natural History Volume 1

[62] Proust, In Search of Lost Time Vol V The Captive The Fugitive

[63] Serres, The Birth of Physics

[64] Montesquieu, Persian Letters

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