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#and ALSO so i could leave an angry review b/c christ
curieincali · 5 months
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Year in Review - BOOKS - 2023
Audiobooks read:
Anxious People by Fredrik Backman
DisneyWar by James B. Stewart
A Caribbean Mystery by Agatha Christie
Rough Magic by Lara Prior-Palmer
Horse Crazy by Sarah Maslin Nir
Nona the Ninth by Tamsyn Muir
Eleanor Oliphant Is Completely Fine by Gail Honeyman
A Man Called Ove by Fredrik Backman
The Alchemist by Paulo Coelho
The Player of Games by Iain M. Banks
The Midnight Library by Matt Haig
A Murder is Announced by Agatha Christie
Remarkably Bright Creatures by Shelby Van Pelt
The Metamorphosis by Franz Kafka
As Long as the Lemon Trees Grow by Zoulfa Katouh
Legends and Lattes by Travis Baldree
Into Thin Air by Jon Krakauer
Born to Run by Christopher McDougall
The Gentle Art of Swedish Death Cleaning by Margareta Magnusson
I Kissed Shara Wheeler by Casey McQuiston
A Court of Thorns and Roses by Sarah J Maas
As You Wish by Cary Elwes, Joe Layden
Ninth House by Leigh Bardugo
The Measure by Nikki Erlick
Ready Player One by Ernest Cline
The Silent Patient by Alex Michaelides
eBooks read:
A Court of Mist and Fury by Sarah J Maas
A Court of Wings and Ruin by Sarah J Maas
A Court of Frost and Starlight by Sarah J Maas
A Court of Silver Flames by Sarah J Maas
Project Hail Mary by Andy Weir (In Progress)
Regular books read:
Wet Moon Volume 4: Drowned in Evil by Sophie Campbell
Princess Jellyfish Volume 3 by Akiko Higashimura
Color and Light: A Guide for the Realist Painter by James Gurney (In Progress)
It felt like I read a lot more this year, but looking back at previous years, not by much! What really happened is I joined not one, but TWO book clubs - one with work and one with friends. It's definitely helping me explore outside of my normal tastes, and I've found some great stuff.
In 2023, I branched away from audiobooks and into ebooks in the interest of not listening to fairy smut on my speaker, and instead reading it on my phone as god intended.
I finally started a GoodReads account, but I'll probably still do these yearly round-ups here on tumblr. But now I can more easily endorse (or roast the fairy smut) items on my my reading list.
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tessatechaitea · 7 years
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Deathstork #9
If this were me, they'd have to stick my cock in one of those arm shackles too. Mostly because I'd have requested it.
I don't know how much longer I can be funny because I'm just getting angrier and angrier at what the Republicans are doing. They were anti-Trump when they feared he might bring some liberal ideas into the White House because he's one of those Hollywood types (plus he expressed quite a few liberal ideas previous to running as a Republican) but now that he's carrying out their hateful and selfish agenda, they're happier than pigs in shit. They are pigs in shit. Hell, they are shit. I don't want to demean pigs. Here's what I just posted as a Facebook status because I'm ready to burn down all of my relationships with people who think Mitch McConnell basically telling a peer who is a woman to shut up (and then not doing the same to my Senator from Oregon, Jeff Merkley, because why? Oh, wait. The why is the easy part, the fucking coward. I wonder how many times Little Mitch got his nose bloodied at school by another boy for being a dick to a girl? Too bad some girls didn't bloody it to (additional note: oh look. More white men were allowed to read the letter on the Senate floor. Go fucking figure):
If you agree with what Trump and the Republican toadies are doing, you are: A. Ignorant. B. Sexist. C. Racist. D. A Coward. E. All of the above. F. Fuck you.
All of Trump's cabinet picks could have had similar names and nobody would have batted an eye, apparently.
Dr. Villain is waiting to speak with Jericho for probably innocent reasons. But currently, Jericho is out sitting on a bench in his Ikon superhero outfit. At least his body is. His mind is inside of a nun. Doctor Super Villain tells Joseph that he's Slade's personal physician. I know when I was a doctor who totally wasn't a super villain at all, I used to hunt down my patients by bothering their family members when I thought my client needed to see me. I felt it was better than waiting for my patients to alert me to a problem. Dr. Villain can't track down Slade because he doesn't know Slade is locked up.
And apparently guarded by cyclopes.
Things you learn from playing Dungeons and Dragons for so many years: A. A little something about courage and B. the plural of cyclops. This multi-part story is called "Four Rooms" but it does not take place in a hotel. The first room is Jericho's office where Doctor Villain is waiting for Slade. The second room is where Slade is being interrogated at the Coast Guard's supermax detention center in Florence, Colorado. I don't know how they get their prisoners there by boat. The man interrogating Slade calls him "Death Strike" which is stupid. He obviously should have called him Deathstork. The man's name is Dex and he's all, "Oh! Oh! So you think you're Jesus Christ, do you?! Well, la de freakin' da!" Actually, he might be a little more adult about it. I can't help but perceive everything through the eyes of an immature asshat. The third room is Northern Vietnam. That's a big room! The star of this room is Xia (the star of the first room was Jericho and the second room, Dex). This is the room I'm going to like the most because Xia has breasts.
See? This room is the sexy room if you're into breasts, face kicks, and camel's toes.
Room Two is the room for you if you're into chauvinists. Some might read some of the things I've written and snarkily say, "Well then that must be the room for you, you buttfaggot!" No wait. Those are the things Deathstork fans generally say to me. What the other "some" might say is "That sounds like the room for you, Tess! You sexist jerko!" To them I would say (and have said!), "You've been reading me completely wrong if you thought that!" I have been known to make sexist jokes on occasion. But they're almost certainly and almost definitely quite probably making fun of the people who think that way. But then that's sort of the problem inherent in satire. Those who don't realize you're making fun of them wind up embracing you as a hero of their chauvinism. I've always been a huge fan of satire because it's generally more intelligent than just calling somebody a cunt but in the current climate where spectacularly dumb people are celebrating the causes of dumbness, racism, sexism, and lunacy, satire might not be the best way to go anymore. It's time to simply look people in the eyes, call them an asshole, and leave it at that. Finally we get to room four! That's the room where they're playing poker. In the pot is an ancient sword called Deathstork. This room also takes place "years after the massacre" in Srebrenica. If I weren't an American and were able to remember things from just over twenty years ago, I would probably remember what that was. But who can remember it since 9-11 happened? That was the worst thing to ever happen to anybody in any country ever. Sorry. My satire is showing again. Unless that's just steamy, bloody, fetid sarcasm. It's hard to tell when you're as angry as I am at the ignorance of my fellow countrymen (and countrywomen! They're no smarter than the men!). The poker game is where Slade gets the name Deathstork (and the sword!). It's also where he meets up with his team of international muckrakers, including Wintergreen. Slade teams up with Wintergreen's men to find General Dragas, the man behind the orders to commit genocide. As they search for him, they run into a little hitch. Wintergreen's translator is Bosniak and wants to see the general dead. Slade wants to the general alive so Slade can pay next month's rent. Usually Slade would win this argument but this is early in his career as Deathstork (the beginning, to be precise). And also the translator has a small army on his side. The Ranking! +1! If you were exhausted beyond belief of searching for an intelligent Deathstork comic, you can finally stop being exhausted! That's because this comic book exists. If you haven't been reading it, you'll have to be a little more exhausted as you hunt down all of the back issues (or just get off your lazy ass to get the trade (or just fucking order it on Amazon since you're already on the Internet, you lazy jerko)).
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sweetandunholy · 7 years
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“Richard Gansey III had forgotten how many times he had been told he was destined for greatness.”
“He was a king. And this was the year he was going to die.” The Raven King is the thrilling final installment in the dark and magical series Raven Cycle series created by Maggie Stiefvater. A brooding and omnious novel that will hook you from the first sentence, sweep you off your feet and land you right in the heart of the Aglionby Raven boys adventure to be a witness to its all consuming ending.
4/5 Stars Recommendation: Worth every single page from the first sentence to ends. Prophecies will be will be unmasked, curses will be unleashed, relationships will set sail and terrifying fears will come to life. All wrapped in a poetical ending to satisfy all fans. Flawed for a series ending however, and thus I can’t get myself to give it 5 stars.
How to get Hime to love a book: 
Step One: Be preferentially YA Step Two: Include strong and complex characters with original character arcs Step Three: Give me gay boys, all the gay boys. Bonus Step: Be Maggie Stiefvater
Because holy shit where do I start.
The story is set one week after the events of Blue Lily Lily Blue, with Maura and Artemus back in Fox Way along with the cryptical Gwenllian —the later two who are not exactly getting along well— while the Gangsey & Co are still in the search for their Welsh King of Myth. A new addition to their group is made in the form of charismatic and brave Henry Cheng, who will reach and touch Gansey in more ways than one.
One final kiss will be shared. Two last glimpses of special someones will be given, and without a goodbye they part. Three relationships that will at last set sail.  And one final door will at last close but it will leave so many more open, so many many more.
The Raven King is what the Raven boys’ friendship is for Blue: Breath taking, all powerful, all consuming and engrossing. Maggie’s ever praised prose is better than ever, it makes you feel everything you have never been able to put into words between all of the character’s arc climax, the creepier and scarier atmosphere throughout the entire book, her ever present quirky humor, and the larger than life vibe this book is. Its entire more-ness, because that is what it is. More. The Raven King is more than YA itself, its more than fantasy and its more than The Raven Boys, The Dream Thieves and Blue Lily Lily Blue ever was. It is the ever so deserved end, carefully wrapped up in a satisfying end that leaves open the possibility of so much more.
I had a couple of problems with characters who almost seemed irrelevant with how little participation they had in the final plot, however, I will give my kudos to Stiefvater for making each one of them original and interesting nonetheless.
Click Read more for book analysis and rants and spoilers or you’ll find them below this point, my sweet children. Stuff your faces and enjoy !
  Now here’s the thing, I’ve read a fuck ton of other reviews who talk about how they loved the foreshadowing on Adam & Ronan. From the Dream Thieves and Adam being Ronan’s second secret, to all the mentions of homosexuality by Kavinsky, when I thought it was pure teenage dickery and not a direct criticism on Ronan’s sexual orientation— Except no I, I didn’t pick up on it. Shame on me, I know.
But in my opinion, perhaps that made it all the better and this is why:
“Adam smiled cheerily. Ronan would start wars and burn cities for that true smile, elastic and amiable.”
Ronan is a sensible, sensible thing. If anything the entire opposite of Blue’s sensible, prudent. No, Ronan feels too much, too hard and too deep. He wasn’t your YA charismatic bad boy, Ronan was broken and angry, but Ronan craved for love and affection and most specially handing it to others. It had all been so subtle up until that quote, where I put my book down and had to smile to myself for a good ten minutes before I could pick it back up.
Ronan would start wars and burn cities for Adam Parish’s smile. The power of those words hit me like a rock, and no, I didn’t suddenly suspect they would get involved romantically even then.
Ronan let out a breath, put the model down on the bed beside him, and kissed Adam.
Once, when Adam had still lived in the trailer park, he had been pushing the lawn mower around the scraggly side yard when he realized that it was raining a mile away. He could smell it, the earthy scent of rain on dirt, but also the electric, restless smell of ozone. And he could see it: a hazy gray sheet of water blocking his view of the mountains. He could track the line of rain travelling across the vast dry field towards him. It was heavy and dark, and he knew he would get drenched if he stayed outside. It was coming from so far away that he had plenty of time to put the mower away and get under cover. Instead, though, he just stood there and watched it approach. Even at the last minute, as he heard the rain pounding the grass flat, he just stood there. He closed his eyes and let the storm soak him.
That was this kiss.
IT WAS AMAZING. I will be honest when I say I was half bored and half doing something else when I read this chapter and I missed Ronan leaning in to kiss Adam. Instead, I sat through Adam’s description of a kiss before going back and realizing it was Ronan who had just kissed hi,
I felt my heart stop in joy. Then tears in my eyes.
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THESE BOYS ARE JUST SO BLESSED? I’M NOT OKAY HOLY CHRIST. Like, lets just sit back and take a moment to appreciate Maggie didn’t just do this to please all of her LGBT+ readers once and move on? We had three heartfelt kisses between these boys that moved me three times as any interaction between Blue and Gansey could’ve ever. We had several descriptions and accounts for how much they had kissed, and how it felt and the intensity of of their feelings.
My feelings are an oil spill. I am so pleased Maggie reached this concussion between her characters, Adam and Ronan did deserve the best. They grew and changed together, this relationship is the one that could feel the most deserved in the entirety of YA.
Shoutout to Blue and Ronan’s friendship.  This and Ronan trying to dream Blue eye cream in the middle of his life going to shit. I’m so happy to see how their friendship has evolved.
“Gansey asked, “Do you have time to run an errand with us? Do you have work? Homework?” “No homework. I got suspended,” Blue replied. “Get the fuck out,” Ronan said, but with admiration. “Sargent, you asshole.” Blue reluctantly allowed him to bump fists with her as Gansey eyed her meaningfully in the rearview mirror.”
And one last shoutout all the way back to The Raven Boys.
“Ronan said, “I’m always straight.” Adam replied “Oh, man, that’s the biggest lie you’ve ever told.”
We now know you know, Adam. These little details made my day while reading the series.
Thoughts on Henry Cheng:
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He…. Happens. And it’s weird. People love him and I don’t…. Get it.
Henry Cheng is an absolutely useless, diversity pick character who Stiefvater decided to throw in at the end of the series. Oh forgive me, he did give Gansey some life changing thoughts on beating your fears and like that’s chill; but it feels like something any other character could’ve done if they would’ve been given the right exposition or backstory. Like Ronan or Adam, who are both characters who have been through some shit and could believably have more to their backstory than what we already know.
To me a golden rule of writting should be to never introduce new, major character on the last book of a long series because everything should’ve been established in your previous books. The Raven Cycle was very guilty about introducing a new villain in every book [Except for arguably Blue Lily Lily Blue] and then have him fade into the oblivion of not being relevant to the series again. This is mildly forgivable in the previous books since its A) Not the final book and B) You’re trying to throw obstacles into your character’s paths so they can continue on with their adventure.
But why would you add a main character who adds nothing to the story and add around 200 pages of filler about him? Not to mention Gansy and Henry became instant best friends The Toga party was by far one of my favorite scenes simply because of the simplicity of it. It was a break from the creepy and omnious tone to remind us: Yo, they’re still kids js and it was a nice andd very welcome addition. The scene that actually made me appreciate Blue and Gansey as a couple too and I had Cheng to thank for that… Now why couldn’t we leave it at that? Robobee and the dream black market arc was just… Odd. And the way he came in, helped Gansey fight his fear, the robobee acted as a glorified GPS was way too convenient in my opinion. The book could’ve done perfectly without and it was absolutely irrelevant and specially distracting. Specially through the end scenes where he just seemed to be mindlessly following and strutting along while getting… Absolutely nothing.
The worst of it is the fact that Cheng got more spotlight than Noah. A character that was long established in the previous books and that fans were actually curious about his development and what was going on with him. We had a Cheng word vomit in exchange for Noah’s ever continuing loose ambiguity.
Thoughts on assorted secondary characters:
Another one of the problems I had with this book that minorly disappointed me. It  doesn’t entire bug me per se, but bothered me enough I’d like to put down my thoughts on it on the review.
There were a buttload of character introduced that honestly lead nowhere. I’m talking about the Dream black market net of collectors, curators and sellers. Seondeok, Piper, Laumonier? (wth— was his name again) and Lumonier x3 and probably a few more. These had a very minor purpose in the story and disappeared in the end as soon as they came. Piper was a bitch for no good reason but yeah okay, she’s a bitch and we must dislike her. Seondeok is as needed in this story as his son, and no matter how many clever chapters you start with “Depending on when you start, this story is about Seondeok” I won’t feel for her, I won’t care about her and I won’t care about any of the other secondaries. And I won’t even dignify Laumonier(s) with a segment— It’s so random and unneeded it doesn’t deserve the attention.
I was waiting until the end while clinging to the hope that it’d be some great mystery Maggie would wrap up and would make sense and MAYBE would be relevant to be story but that was that for expectations.
The Grey man’s character arc was more than done in my opinion and I wasn’t sure why he was suddenly forced to leave. Maura’s goodbye was more than uneventful and was disappointingly unmoving. I would’ve not minded his character just staying the way he was, a retired hit man with a psychic girlfriend who now got his well deserved rest. Him leaving and the novel ending with him unaccounted for was very unsatisfying as well.
Neeve died and I’m just lmao I don’t care but ok.
Then there’s Opal (Orphan girl) too, another of the secondary characters that I very much rooted for throughout the novels. I had so many theories for this character, hoping she’d have some sort of major yet hidden relevance to the plot and Ronan but in the end she felt both like some odd… Unfulfilling filler with no closure either.
In fact, this entire section could be easily summarized in a lack of closure for most secondary characters. While I can’t stop praising how greatly wrapped up the rest of the book is, most secondary characters make me fill unfulfilled. I don’t want to hear Maggie could be getting off if she was just paving the road and setting these characters up for the Dreamer trilogy, because this tweet happened on the end of 2016:
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and the series was way more than over in 2015. I would very much appreciate and may manage to forgive Stiefvater if she were to develop and add onto these characters on the Ronan trilogy, but the sad truth is that I just don’t care for most of them and I don’t really feel like learning more about them either. Again, just purposeless filler.
General Gansey disappointment:
Another one of my golden rules in writing is that if you’re going to kill a character: You should definitely kill them. Reviving a character as an intelligent plot device or as a character goal can be a relatable thing and an earned struggle. When characters die simply to revive immediately… Simply does not work for me. I’m more grossed out by the moment and feel much less than the emotion overflow I would’ve had to live with if Gansey had died.
What’s more is the potential of Maggie heading down a great path for Gansey when Cabeswater tried to explain he could not just bring him back but “Make some essential part of itself human-shaped” and  “It was impossible to bring him back unchanged […] But it might be able to refashion him into something new”. This was so much wasted potential, such an exciting idea.
One of the most popular theories I was an avid followed of was the idea that Gansey was Glendower. Think about it as a quick parenthesis:
Reasons why Gansey could’ve (and should’ve) been Glendower:
— A continuos theme throughout the novel was time’s circle continuum instead of a straight line. “Not yet happened” a synonym of “Already has happened”: The present Noah sacrificing himself for 10 year old Gansey to live, the gang finding the aged up Camaro wheels along with Glendower’s shield, Blue’s face in the painting of the three women, etc.  These are all examples of how the possibility of Gansey being both Gansey and Glendower exist throughout the novel, or at least, an incarnation of him.
— Blue recognizing there was something more about him, Gansey’s agelessness as described by Adam:
“Adam knew that she had sensed the otherness to his friend: that sense that Gansey was both young and old, that he’d only just arrived, or he’d always been.”
— Gwenllian calls Gansey “My lord” “Father” in multiple occasions — The constant raven motif repeating itself from Aglionby’s uniform to Ronan’s dream Chainsaw — The women and several others creatures chanting “The Raven King, make way for the Raven King” to Gansey. Glendower being the real Raven King. — In the end scene, Gansey asking the wind to show him the Raven King and raven’s responding to his call. Glendower was known for being able to raven’s. — What if the constant Glendower calls were not a path they pointed him to, but the voice calling his own name? — We never got a clear reason as to why Noah would murmur he would live because of Glendower to Gansey when he was living because of Noah in fact. Noah trading his life for Gansey’s with the knowledge he was a King with a prophecy to fulfill would’ve been a more satisfying explanation. — Maggie constantly compares Gansey to the Raven King, while comparing Ronan to his poet, Adam to his magician, and Blue Gwenllian, the witch, the mirror. — The three Blue’s in the flag have red hands, and when inquired about it, Malory explains that the Bloody red hands are associated with the Mab Darogan, which is a mythic title for Welsh kings known as ‘Sons of Destiny’. These are the same three women that appear in Cabeswater chanting “Rex Corvus, parate regis corvi.” [The Raven King, make way for the Raven King] to Gansey & Co. Gansey, if not Glendower, perfectly could’ve been the next Mab Darogan, after all, the book was swamped with references of Gansey being kingly. The King who died and Lived. — Glendower could’ve also been sleeping indeed. Asleep inside of Gansey, awaiting to be woken up with his death. 
But Glendower was really dead, lmao and Gansey was instead revived right after. So anticlimactic.
I mean, honestly seeing Gansey come back as something else as said by Cabeswater would’ve been way more pleasant. Like Blue having to struggle with Gansey to recover part of himself or Blue seeing him off to change the world. Reclaim his long lost kingdom.
If you’re going to kill a character to revive him a few pages later, what is the point of wasting said pages in the first place? It’s something I’ve always had trouble understanding while authors do it a lot nonetheless —Similar to my latest rant of A Court of Wings and Ruin, when we were subjected to the same death pointlessness—. What’s worse is the unexplained plot hole it leaves by Cabeswater explaining to us how it wasn’t possible for it to revive him, and then proceeds to do exactly that.
I will however, recognize how pleased I was with the explanation of why Blue’s curse worked the way it did. Like in most YA or fairy tales, I was expecting it to go on without explanation and I wouldn’t have had much other problem with that. Two mirror facing each other was such a poetical explanation I can’t help but to pin it right on Maggie’s style.
I have mixed feelings about Glendower being dead, honest. The first time I read the book, I was absolutely thrilled by it, as it was arguably the biggest plot twist of them all. But at this point in my reading (and at this point in my review, causing me to reflect over a lot of things) Final Thoughts I’m too incoherent to add into the review:
That demon unmaking things was creepy af, g fucking g. Just the word unmade seems horribly unsettling. The way he was described was point in case amazing.
Noah’s possesion was also such a heartstopping scene as he gauged Blue’s eye. [Anyone else see it coming though? Ever since The Gray man warned she could loose an eye if they Greenmantle were to die]
No one even mentions Noah in the epilogue, which hurts deep. I was left very confused about what it was of him and found myself rather disappointed the characters didn’t seem to… Care enough? To think about him?
The body count was really high for a book by Maggie Stiefvater. It was all gruesome and great. My heart is very, very pleased.
CHAINSAW SITTING ON ADAM’S SHOULDER?? Why yes.
Adam driving Ronan’s car touched my heartstrings, and him not denying when his father mocked him for driving “his boyfriend’s car”. God fucking bless me.
The ending scene with Ronan was absolutely powerful: “Then he closed his eyes and he began to dream.” 
I love this book, through all its flaws. I just love it.
[Review] The Raven King – Maggie Stiefvater “Richard Gansey III had forgotten how many times he had been told he was destined for greatness.”
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