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#and I’m not renaming mostly due to gender issues it’s mostly due to my name having Trauma™️ linked to it
altruisticenigma · 1 year
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Me, embracing my non-binary identity slowly but surely, maybe considering finally changing my name: Yay!
Me, lowkey wanting to name myself Judas, without any Christian background (and being A FUCKING PAGAN WITCH?), and mostly because it’s extremely blasphemous, ironic and sounds cool: Nay.
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spellbccks · 5 years
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«♡» ─────  I N T R O D U C I N G … *✧。⋆
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        a  pretty  little  mess  of  monsters,  if  i  do  say  so  myself  !  these  will  be  much  shorter  than  the  last  two  intros  i  posted,  so  keep  reading  to  find  4 / 18  introductions  under  the  cut  !  ^♡^
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        PERCY  PAN  . . .
                     . . .  the  boy  who  won’t  grow  up
name:  percy  pan    nicknames:  n / a    age:  eighteen    gender:  cis male    pronouns:  he/him    date of birth:  may 21st, 2001    parent(s):  peter  pan    hometown:  neverland    occupation:  student    hair colour:  dark  brown    eye colour:  green    height: 172cm    tattoos:  none  !    piercings:  both  lobes  pierced  !    scars:  a  long  scar  across  the  right  side  of  his  abdomen,  a  scar  on  his  right  knee  !    faceclaim:  hwang  hyunjin                                                           ♡  ♡  ♡
born  in  neverland  as  the  biological  son  of  peter  pan,  percy  is  a  wingless  fae.
from  a  young  age,  he  sort  of  took  on  the  role  that  his  father  had  abandoned  upon  growing  up  ---  percy  took  on  the  role  as  the  sort  of  . . .  ‘  lead  lost  boy  ‘  with  a  whole  new  group  of  lost  boys.  of  course,  this  role  of  ‘  leader  ‘  really  only  meant  that  percy  took  care  of  them  all;  made  sure  they  had  food  &  shelter,  with  the  help  of  his  own  father,  of  course  !
also,  he  renamed  the  lost  boys,  so  they  are  now  “  the  skull  bois  “,  because  . . .  he  doesn’t  think  they’re  lost  and  also  ‘  bois  ‘  is  more  gender - inclusive.
he  grew  up  under  the  stories  of  his  father’s  own  adventures  and  his  time  with  the  darling.  so,  as  a  child,  percy  used  to  come  down  to  the  mainland  a  lot  ---  he  liked  to  dance  around  the  moon  and  with  the  stars  !
he  would  sometimes  poke  his  head  into  open  windows  or  sneak  into  bedrooms,  or  even  just  have  his  shadow  slip  into  an  open  window  !
he’s  basically  . . .  peter  pan  2.0  . . .  leave  me  alone  . . .
also  peter  ?  a  grade - a  father  !  the  only  problem  is  that  he  could  be  a  bit  too  playful  and  childish  sometimes,  and  so  percy  isn’t  really  too  . . .�� accustomed  to  serious  situations  and  topics.
he’s  always  been  very  independent,  too  !  has  a  very  “  i  can  do  whatever  i  want  and  get  by  on  my  own  !  “  sort  of  attitude.
he  doesn’t  really  . . .  want  to  be  in  auradon,  doesn’t  want  to  be  going  to  uni,  but  he’s  decided  that  majoring  in  humanities  could  help  him  somewhere  down  the  line.
doesn’t  . . .  take  school  that  seriously  ?  like,  he  does  his  work  and  gets  good  grades,  but  it’s  not  the  end  of  the  world  if  he  does  less  than  perfect  at  something  !
. . .  also  he  has  lowkey  ?  trust  issues  ?  trusts  . . .  the  skull  bois  . . .  the  end  . . .
also  . . .  lowkey  doesn’t  like  the  pixie  hollow  faeries  !  unless  they’re  skull  bois  somehow  !  lmao  !
also  !  he  doesn’t  age  !  well  . . .  not  after  a  certain  point  . . .  i’m  thinking  . . .  18 - 21  is  when  he  stops  ?
uh  . . .  his  shadow  . . .  does  what  it  wants  . . .  please  don’t  get  mad  at  it  . . .  it  just  wants  to  be  friends  . . .  it  also  gets  lost  a  lot  . . .  it  stresses  percy  out  when  it  gets  lost  . . .  but  it  be  that  way  sometimes  !
uh  . . .  gimme  . . .  skull  bois  . . .  the  end  . . .
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        CADELL  PENDRAGON  . . .
                       . . .  the  boy  with  the  mismatched  eyes
name:  cadell  pendragon    nicknames:  cain    age:  twenty - three    gender:  demiboy    pronouns:  she/they    date of birth:  february 5th, 1996    parent(s):  howl  jenkins  pendragon  &  sophie  hatter    hometown:  ingary    occupation:  student    hair colour:  naturally  silver;  dyed  black    eye colour:  mismatched;  right  eye  is  red,  left  eye  is  silver    height: 164cm    tattoos:  a  dove  behind  his  left  ear,  a  lotus  flower  on  the  back  of  his  neck  !    piercings:  both  lobes  pierced,  forward  helix  on  his  right  ear  !    scars:  a  scar  on  the  left  side  of  his  chest,  right  over  where  his  heart  should  be  !    faceclaim:  min  yoongi  /  suga                                                         ♡  ♡  ♡
born  in  the  land  of  ingary  as  the  biological  son  of  howl  &  sophie,  cadell  is  a  wizard,  though  he  much  prefers  the  term  ‘  witch  ‘.
cadell  takes  after  his  mother  more - so  than  his  father.  while  his  father  tends  to  be  charming  and  flamboyant,  cadell  tends  to  be  more  reserved,  more  refined  and  minimalist  in  the  way  he  does  things.
just  like  his  father  though,  when  cadell  when  young  and  naive,  he  came  across  a  fire  demon  similar  to  calcifer,  but  whose  intentions  were  far  worse.  this  fire  demon  tricked  the  young  boy  into  giving  him  his  heart  so  that  he  could  live,  and  has  since  been  using  his  own  heart  against  him.
by  giving  up  his  heart,  cadell  lost  some  piece  of  his  humanity  ---  or,  at  least,  that  much  is  suspected.  as  he  grew  older,  he  developed  some  sort  of  apathy  to  him,  some  sort  of  numbness.  he  claims  that  he  doesn’t  feel,  at  least  not  as  much  as  he  wishes  to.  whether  this  be  due  to  the  lack  of  heart  is  a  mystery,  but  entirely  possible.
the  fire  demon  who  owns  possession  of  his  heart  may  also  use  it  to  take  control  of  cadell  by  speaking  into  the  heart  ---   à  la  once  upon  a  time  ---  and  uses  the  bind  that  they  have  to  inflict  pain  upon  him,  even  if  doing  so  means  inflicting  pain  upon  itself,  as  well.
now  that  he’s  in  auradon,  his  main  goal  is  to  find  some  way  to  retrieve  his  heart,  to  steal  it  back  from  the  fire  demon  who  so  possesses  it.
he’s  immensely  skilled in all  sorts  of  magic,  though  he  always  took  a  special  liking  to  the  magic  he  inherited  from  his  mother  ---  being  able  to  speak  life  into  things. this,  along  with  potions  of  all  sorts,  had  always  been  his  specialties  and  what  he  excels  best  at.
due  to  his  lack  of  heart,  he  doesn’t  believe  he’s  capable  of  love,  even  though,  realistically,  he  knows  that’s  not  true  ---  he  doesn’t  see  himself  as  entirely  human  and,  thus,  doesn’t  believe  he’s  deserving  of  love.
his  eyes  are  mismatched.  why  ?  because  he’s  cursed  !  also,  they’re  marble - like,  once  again  due  to  the  lack  of  a  heart,  and  if  he  were  to  ever  gain  his  heart  back,  they  would  look  less  marble - like  and  far  more  real,  once  again.
his  curse  !  the  curse  that  was  placed  upon  him  is  called  the  touch  of  death  ---  it  makes  it  so  that,  whereas  he  used  to  be  able  to  speak  life  into  things,  he  now  only  has  the  ability  of  speaking  death  into  things.
the  curse  was  placed  upon  him  by  a  witch  in  ingary,  as  this  witch  believed  that  cadell’s  habit  of  speaking  life  into  things  was  messing  with  the  balance  of  life  and  death  that  their  must  be  on  earth.
he’s  very  reserved  !  used  to  refrain  from  leaving  the  walls  of  the  castle  !  distances  himself  from  people  at  all costs  !
he’s  magical  !  he  can  help  sometimes  !
someone  help  him  get  his  heart  back  !  he  will  be  forever  in  your  debt  !
he  prefers  to  be  called  cain  !
and  . . .  scene  . . .
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        PENDULA  CHRONOS  . . .
                         . . .  the  girl  with  the  cuckoo  clock  heart
name:  pendula  chronos    nicknames:  penny    age:  seventeen    gender:  demigirl    pronouns:  she/her    date of birth:  april 22nd, 2002    parent(s):  time    hometown:  underland  /  wonderland    occupation:  student  &  time    hair colour:  black    eye colour:  bright  blue    height: 152cm    tattoos:  none  !    piercings:  both  lobes  pierced,  helix  on  her  right  ear  !    scars:  a  scar  along  her  left  shoulder  blade  !    faceclaim:  wang  yiren                                                           ♡  ♡  ♡
born  in  underland  as  the  biological  daughter  of  time,  pendula  is  a  sort  of  deity  !  as  a  deity,  she  has  an  abundance  of  magical  abilities,  all  which  she  inherited  from  her  father  and  serve  to  help  her  preside  over  time.
her  father  currently  presides  over  time  and  the  chronosphere,  ensuring  that  it  is  not  corrupted  ---  which  includes  preventing  time  travel  from  occurring,  as  disastrous  things  can  happen  when  one’s  past  or  future  self  sees  their  present  self.
pendula  grew  up  in  the  castle  of  eternity,  hardly  ever  leaving  her  home  as  the  journey  from  the  castle  to  the  mainland  in  underland  is  long  and  treacherous.  thus,  the  life  that  she  lived  was  a  lonely  one  and  she  mostly  entertained  herself  by  playing  with  the  minutes  and  seconds  that  occupied  the  palace  with  her.
despite  the  loneliness  of  her  life,  though,  she  knows  that  it’s  important  that  she  lives  like  this,  for  the  sake  of  the  grand  clock  and  time  as  a  whole  ---  and  for  the  sake  of  her  own  life.
she  has  a  clock  in  her  chest  in  place  of  her  heart  !  a  cuckoo  clock.  and  with  this  cuckoo  clock  heart  comes  with  three  golden  rules  to  keep  her  alive:  one)  never  touch  the  hands  of  her  heart,  two)  keep  her  temper  under  control,  and  three)  never  ever  fall  in  love.  if  she  does  any  of  these  three  things,  her  heart  will  stop  and  she  will  die.
in  the  early  years  of  her  life,  she  had  a  normal  heart,  just  as  any  other  person  has  a  heart,  but  when  she  was  six - years - old,  some  wonderlanders  who  were  still  loyal  to  the  red  queen  stormed  the  castle  of  eternity  and  cut  out  her  heart,  as  they  wanted  to  use  this  to  bargain  with  time  ---  his  daughter’s  heart  for  the  chronosphere,  so  that  they  could  go  back  in  time  and  make  sure  that  alice  never  kills  the  jabberwocky.
time  didn’t  take  this  negotiation,  though,  didn’t  except  the  deal,  and  instead  he  simply  replaced  his  daughters  heart  with  a  cuckoo  clock,  as  he  knew  that  letting  the  chronosphere  out  of  his  possession  could  be  the  end  of  all.
so,  after  this  occurrence  and  upon  replacing  her  heart,  upon  teaching  her  these  three  rules  that  she  must  live  with,  he  decided  it  was  safest  for  her  to  live  an  isolated  life,  and  thus  this  is  when  her  life  became  truly  lonely.
now,  she’s  training  to  someday  take  her  father’s  place  as  time  ---  or  at  least  help  him  to  keep  time  in  order  ---  while  also  studying  at  auradon  prep.
she’s  very  soft,  very  friendly,  though  a  bit  refined  and  reserved  due  to  her  upbringing.
she’s  very  excited  to  make  friends,  because  she’s  never  had  any  other  than  the  seconds  and  minutes  in  her  palace  before  !  and  even  then,  the  seconds  and  minutes  often  act  more  as  servants  than  anything  else.
she  still  tends  to  be  pretty  distant,  though,  as  she  doesn’t  want  to  break  any  of  the  rules  to  her  heart  !
she’s  not  really  sure  of  what  she’s  interested  in  or  who  she  is,  really,  because  . . .  well,  all  she’s  really  ever  known  is  . . .  time  and  clocks  . . .  so  . . .  yeah  !
and  !  scene  !
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        ELODIE  ASTER  . . .                . . .  the  girl  made  from  cotton  candy  sunsets
name:  elodie  aster    nicknames:  elo    age:  seventeen    gender:  cis female    pronouns:  she/her    date of birth:  november 23rd, 2001    parent(s):  e.  aster  bunnymund  /  the  easter  bunny    hometown:  the  warren    occupation:  student  &  guardian    hair colour:  brown    eye colour:  green    height: 152cm    tattoos:  none  !    piercings:  both  lobes  pierced  !    scars:  a  small  scar  on  the  palm  of  her  right  hand  !    faceclaim:  rowan  blanchard                                                          ♡  ♡  ♡
we  all  know  her  !  she  hasn’t  changed  !  this  is  going  to  be  pretty  short  !
daughter  of  the  easter  bunny  !  guardian  of  hope  !  pooka  bunny  !
has  all  the  same  powers  and  abilities  as  bunnymund,  except  her  bunny  form  is  small  !  like  a  normal  rabbit  !
literally  . . .  the  embodiment  of  hope  . . .  personification  of  sunshine  . . .
she’s  amazing  at  art  !  she  gets  it  from  painting  easter  eggs  !
her  favourite  colour  to  paint  with  is  purple  !
she’s  a  lot  less  intimidating  than  her  father  !  she’s  an  easy  target  !  someone  be  mean  to  her  !
she  isn’t  too  sure  if  she  wants  to  be  the  next  official  guardian  of  hope,  but  even  if  she  doesn’t,  she  does  know  she  wants  to  pursue  something  that  will  allow  her  to  help  children  regardless  !
okay  . . .  the  end  . . .  y’all  know  her  . . .  whoosh  . . .
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the-desolated-quill · 7 years
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Ghost In The Shell: An Ode To Kamikaze - Quill’s Scribbles
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MAJOR spoilers ahead for the Ghost In The Shell movie, so don’t read if you haven’t seen the movie yet... which you’re not going to obviously because it’s a whitewashed, racist piece of shit and you would never support such a thing, would you? No, of course not.
I’ve been asked a few times to write something on Ghost In The Shell and up until now I’ve been reluctant to do so for two reasons. 1) I’m not really a fan of Ghost In The Shell. I know roughly what its about from what people have told me, but I just never really got into it, and 2) I’ve pretty much said everything I’ve wanted to say about whitewashing, mostly in my numerous Doctor Strange posts. If I started doing stuff on Ghost In The Shell, I’d run the risk of repeating myself. Whitewashing is bad, Hollywood are a bunch of racist opportunists and you shouldn’t pay money or support these kinds of projects in any way, shape or form. That’s pretty much it. I had no intention of watching Ghost In The Shell and neither should you. Enough said.
But then some rather interesting news came to my attention, courtesy of @gabriel-strange. VEEEEERY interesting news indeed. So interesting in fact that I honestly thought it was an April Fool’s prank. So I double checked. I triple checked. I quadruple checked. And I discovered to both my horror and delight that it was true.
But first, we have to set the scene.
Ghost In The Shell is a Japanese series of anime and manga titles that takes place in the year 2029 in a fictional city in Japan. In this cyberpunk future, the lines between humans and technology have been blurred, with people placing more and more reliance on cybernetic implants and prosthesis, and computer and electronics permeate every aspect of their lives. The main protagonist is Major Motoko Kusanagi, a cyborg who works for the counter-cyberterrorist organisation known as Public Security Section 9. Her main job is to hunt down and capture cyberterrorists and hackers, who are especially dangerous in this futuristic society due to everyone’s over reliance on technology. It’s even possible for a skilled terrorist to hack into a person’s brain and make them act against their will.
The series has been heavily praised for its creativity and its philosophy, posing some very interesting questions. How do you define who or what is human in a world where a person’s mind can be copied and where body parts can be replaced with machine parts? Where do you draw the line? It’s a very rich and thought provoking subject matter, so naturally Hollywood wanted in on some of that. In 2009, Steven Spielberg and DreamWorks acquired the rights to make a live action Ghost In The Shell movie. Paramount Pictures agreed to co-produce the movie in 2015 and Rupert Sanders signed on to direct.
All they needed to do was find a talented, up and coming young Asian actor to play Motoko Kusanagi. Who did they go with?
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Yep. Scarlett Johansson. An actor most famous for not being Asian. She was cast in the role when talks with Margot Robbie (another actor whose defined by not being Asian) fell through.
This, naturally, sparked a huge amount of controversy from both fans and people working within the industry, and as night follows day, people started to try and justify this bullshit. Some people (let’s be kind and call them idiots) posit that there was never any indication that Motoko Kusanagi was Japanese in the original manga.
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Right. Because why would one assume that a woman with a Japanese name, living in a Japanese city in a series originating from Japan would be Japanese? 
Guys, she’s about as Japanese as you can get! Wake the fuck up!
Others say that the race of the character shouldn’t be an issue because the themes the series covers are universal and can be applicable to everyone regardless of race. Oh good! In that case, she should definitely be played by an Asian actor. Well... if the themes are as universal as you suggest, the fact that she’s Asian shouldn’t alienate me, a white person, at all, should it? Unless you’re suggesting the themes are somehow more universal if the main character is white. If that’s the case, you may want to look up your definition of universal.
A popular excuse is that the Japanese fans have no problem with the casting of ScarJo, with many assuming that a Hollywood production would have chosen a white actor. Even Mamoru Oshii, the director of the original anime films, gave his blessing, saying there was no basis for an Asian actor to play the role. So if they don’t have a problem with it, why should we? Well first of all it’s kind of tragic that Japanese people just assume their beloved characters will be whitewashed because Hollywood have done this so often now they’ve basically gotten used to it. But it doesn’t justify it. A child might get used to an abusive parent over time. It doesn’t make the abuse okay. It’s still wrong. And as for Mamoru Oshii, Well, with all due respect, his opinion is fucking irrelevant. No, really! His opinion carries no weight whatsoever! He’s a Japanese man working in a Japanese industry in a country where 98.5% of the population are Asian. Here in the western hemisphere, Asian people are very much in the minority and, especially in the US, it’s very difficult for them to break into this industry. The last thing they need are white actors stealing all the good roles they could and should be playing. (And for the record, the most vocal people criticising this movie are Asian Americans who have become sick and tired of Hollywood constantly screwing then over, so fuck you).
And finally there’s the age old excuse that ScarJo was the best person for the role and that casting an A-list actor would help to bring the franchise to a more mainstream audience. I mean there are no A-list Asian actors, right? Well apart from Jackie Chan and Lucy Liu (and they're debatable), no. There aren’t any A-list Asian actors. And do you know why? IT’S BECAUSE YOU DON’T FUCKING CAST THEM! Of course there aren’t going to be any A-list Asian actors because you’re not giving any of them a chance! You keep handing over the roles to white people and depriving Asian actors of job opportunities that were intended for them in the first place!
The studios and filmmakers of course have been offering their own insightful comments, saying how this is a future world and that they’re depicting an international city. That seems to be their go to word. International. Code for ‘populated mostly by white people’. Even Motoko Kusanagi has been renamed as Mira Killian. Seriously, Ghost In The Shell is only a decade into the future. What happened between now and 2029 that the Asian population has somehow decreased exponentially?
And of course Scarlett Johansson doesn’t hesitate to get her thoughts heard, first by saying that this was about gender over race and how this was an opportunity to bring a strong female character to mainstream audiences. Now if you were wondering what White Feminism is, this is it. An actual feminist would encourage and celebrate the casting of an Asian actor in the role because it would be a massive step forward for women of colour. Old ScarJo clearly doesn’t meet those requirements. And then she said this:
“I certainly would never presume to play another race of a person. Diversity is important in Hollywood, and I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive.”
Uhuh. Okay. Dear readers, do me a favour. I want you to remember this quote for me, alright? Trust me. It’ll be very important later ;)
From Doctor Strange to Iron Fist to the upcoming Death Note adaptation, there seems to be this weird obsession in Hollywood recently of exploiting and fetishising Asian culture whilst surreptitiously telling the Asian community to go and fuck themselves. This Ghost In The Shell movie seems to be less of an adaptation and more like a white person’s self insert fanfic. And trust me, you have no idea how true that statement really is.
Which brings me to the interesting news I was telling you about. Again, massive spoilers for the movie ahead, so be warned.
Are you ready? Okay.
Well...
Turns out that Mira Killian is actually Motoko Kusanagi. She has the brain of a Japanese girl inside of her whose memory was erased in an effort to create the perfect soldier. There’s even a scene at the end of her meeting and hugging her Japanese birth mother and embracing her true identity as Motoko Kusanagi.
Oh yes! They actually went that far! Somebody actually thought this would be a good idea! And don’t get me wrong, it’s horrible. It’s racist as shit. I’m utterly disgusted by this, but at the same time I can’t help but admire the ballsiness of it. They chose to depict literal whitewashing in their movie. A Japanese girl is stripped of both her identity and any character traits that would identify her as Japanese and replaced with the body and mind of a white person in an effort to create somebody ‘perfect’. It practically borders on self parody.
But do you want to know the best part? Remember what ScarJo said?
“I certainly would never presume to play another race of a person. Diversity is important in Hollywood, and I would never want to feel like I was playing a character that was offensive.”
Tell me Ms Johansson. Do you know the Japanese translation for ‘lying, racist scumbag’?
Because let’s not deny it. What ScarJo said was a blatant lie. She is playing a Japanese character and now she’s quite rightfully being torn to shreds by the critics, most notably the Asian American Media Group. Yeah! Who’d have thought they’d have a problem with this?! Call it a hunch, but somehow I think there might be less demand for a Black Widow movie now after all this. So I wouldn’t hold your breath.
It also puts all those other claims to shame too. That the character’s race isn’t important and that this is an international city and that the themes are universal and so on. Let’s not forget that in the early days of production, they were considering using the same CGI from The Curious Case Of Benjamin Button to make their chosen white actor look Asian. The fact that they’re practically bending over backwards in a desperate and pathetic attempt to justify their whitewashing actually proves that the race of the character is actually important after all.
I can’t help but find this just a bit hilarious. I mean at least Doctor Strange didn’t pretend Tilda Swinton was Asian. At least they didn’t stoop THAT low. And the irony of it all is Rupert Sanders and co could have gotten away with it if they just kept their mouths shut. I know how gullible general movie going audiences can be. They probably would have blindly accepted a whitewashed Ghost In The Shell movie if the story and acting was good. But because the studio just couldn’t leave well enough, because they were so paranoid that they’d be accused of racism and that they’d upset the fans, they tried to tinker with it and ended up not only making the issue even more awkward than it already was, but also highlighted their racism in big bold neon lights. They haven’t just tied a noose around their necks. They’ve practically built their own gallows as well.
Already they’ve started to feel the effects. On its opening weekend, Ghost In The Shell pulled in less box office earnings than DreamWorks’ Boss Baby. And I don’t know about you, but I would love to have seen how that conversation played out to the studio execs. Your movie is losing to an animated film featuring Alec Baldwin voicing a talking baby. LOL. In fact I’m almost tempted to go and see this movie for myself just to witness it commit cinematic suicide live, right in front of me. This has got to be one of the most glorious kamikaze moves I’ve ever seen in my entire life.
And I can’t think of a more appropriate way to end this Scribble than with the ironic use of this classic from the 80s. Enjoy :)
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Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
"Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
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Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
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Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
I need a form for allstate car insurance good student discount?
I need a form for allstate car insurance good student discount?
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So I was recently given a citation during a trip to Northern California. Here's the condensed version; I went out with a group of friends to have dinner and drinks. It was about 10 people altogether, three car loads. I was originally not one of the drivers (I flew in from Southern California). Several of my friends/acquiantances drank heavily during dinner. I was asked as a favor to drive one of the car and the car owner's home. The car I drove belonged to my good friend's neighbor. I received a speeding ticket during the drive to the neighbor's home (73 in a 65) PLUS no insurance!!! I informed the officer that it was not my car and that it belonged to the passed out lady in the back but he didn't care and decided to write me the ticket anyway. Now I've been told that I will have to pay for it ($988) plus my speeding ticket. I spoke with my good friend about it but the neighbor now refuses to go to court with me or write a letter at the least explaining the scenario.""
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I have been gathering quotes for car insurance online on confused and was delighted to see the price down at 615 for once as I have been getting car insurance every year since the age 18 and it has always been over 1000. However, just having a quick check over my details to make sure everything I had entered was correct and then I noticed I had ticked the resident from birth box. I was born in Spain as my mother went over there to work and then had me. I was born in 87 and she took me back home in 88 or 89 roughly. (She is a full British citizen born and raised in UK). As I have no contact with my father and I don't even remember being in Spain or nor can I even speak the language well, I feel fully British and also am regarded as a British citizen. My mum also registered me at a british consulate in april 88, just 6 months after I was born. So I put on the form that I became a resident in 1988. I then calculate the prices again and the insurance quotes shoot up with 955 being the cheapest and the rest going up to 1000. I then think back to all the years I have been paying the insurance and building up my no claims and being the perfect driver with no claims despite having to pay the shocking premiums that young people have to pay and this makes me absolutely livid that my insurance goes up by 340 to 400 based on the fact that I was born in Spain and spent 1 year of my life there and the rest of the 23 years as British Citizen raised here. I am just wondering if I could get away with just going ahead and saying that I was a resident from Birth as I have a baby on the way and really wish that my premiums were a reasonable ammount for once or I should go through it and just demand that they bring the premiums down to the 615 like originally quoted! It just makes me really annoyed that they can get away with this kind of stuff and I really don't like the fact that I am having to pay higher premiums just for the sake of it. Any advice on this?""
How can I compare various insurance plans?
How can I compare various insurance plans?
Do I really need liability insurance?
So, I am thinking of opening a summer company and I don't think I need liability insurance. I know that everyone should have it, but I don't think it's really worth it for me. All of the places I will be visiting will have their own insurance and I will only be using the insurance for a week or so a month. As I won't be using it a lot, I don't think I really need it. So, basically, do I need insurance for my space in an insured venue. Thanks in advanced!""
Maternity related services considered inpatient for insurance?
Most individual plans (87%) do not offer maternity coverage. I was fortunate enough to still be covered under an old employer by paying COBRA, and a majority of my expenses were covered. I had twins and had to have a C-Section. So now that I know I'm most likely to have a C-Section again, and who knows, another set of twins! (complete surprise) and am still of child bearing age. I am now under an individual plan, that does not offer maternity coverage. I was reading under the 'Inpatient' services and it listed this: Unlimited coverage is provided for medically necessary physician and surgeon services, semi-private rooms, operating rooms and related facilities, intensive and coronary care units, laboratory, x-rays, radiology services and procedures, medications and biologicals, anesthesia, special duty nursing as prescribed, short-term rehabilitation services, nursing care, meals and special diets So anyone who has experience or knowledge, would something like a C-Section be covered under inpatient? What does maternity coverage only cover normally. That $60*** bill scares me! Also, I keep reading about a new health care bill effective 2014 where individual plans must include maternity as an essential benefit. Anyone have any more details about that? State specific etc?""
How Much Is Insurance For A Mustang?
I'm 16 and am looking into getting a 2000 or 2001 mustang/mustang gt. im a great driver. my parents have travelers for auto insurance, and they're going to add my car to their insurance. my parents are also great drivers, no wrecks/tickets or anything. what is the average i would have to pay for my car insurance each month? thanks:)""
Pregnancy health insurance plans
I recently had a miscarriage at 6 weeks and I am waiting to start my first cycle following the pregnancy. With that pregnancy I was using medicaid but I saw how hard it was to get an appointment since there were so many people. This time around my husband and I would like to start trying in about a month and we would like to get insurance. I am looking for insurance that covers pregnancy with a pretty low deductible. I would like it if the monthly payments were 200 or lower. Does anyone have insurance that they recomend?
What should I buy for my first car? Preferably something with cheap insurance!?
Okay, so I'm a 17 year old male in the UK. I'm looking to buy my first car fairly soon, but I realise I'm absolutely clueless about cars. I have quite a bit of money saved, but I would love to spend as little as possible on the car and insurance. I'm looking on auto trader and other second hand websites, but I really have no idea. Any suggestions of where to look, what make to buy, where to get insurance would be great. Thanks""
Short Term Car Insurance in California?
I moved from California to Japan about a year ago, and naturally, I canceled my US car insurance. Soon I will be visiting the USA for about 24 days, and I'd like to be able to drive during that time. I've made arrangements to borrow a car from my parents, so that part's fine- my question is, how do I go about getting insured for this temporary period? (In case it matters, I am 28 years old, not financially dependent on my parents and am a worker not a student)""
Car accident advice California?
Today i was in a car accident and it was not me fault i was sandwiched in between two cars i contacted insurance company of mines and said wait for there insurance to contact you any advice on what steps i should take now
""Do I have a conviction, car insurance?""
I had my car licence for less than 2 years and went out to view a car, I was offered a test drive which I accepted. The police pulled me over and I was done for not having any car insurance, stupid of me but I never thought, my full licence was revoked and I had to start all over a gain on a provisional licence and also received a heavy fine. I reset my test again and passed and when I am asking for insurance I am asked for any convictions, I have not got a conviction on my licence or any points, my friend says I have been punished already by having my licence taken off me and re sitting my test again, and paying a fine. I now have had my full licence for 1 year instead of 3 years, what am I supposed to declare my licence is clean?""
Mechanical Breakdow Insurance refuses to pay...?
Hi and thanks for taking time to help me out. I have bought a BMW 540i (1997) back in January. I was really happy as this was my first car. Two weeks ago, I was driving to France and my gearbox died leaving me only with the first gear working. I went to a garage in France and we phoned the insurance but the insurance said that it cannot guarantee that it would cover me. They offered me to leave the car in France and to go back to London by myself. I refused to consider this option as I could not allow my self to stay in France (I had to go back to work) for more than the week-end and I could not afford to take the train/plane from Paris to London. The insurer said that they would not cover any costs associated with me going back to London. So I had to get the car back to London, and to drive it back home. I went to a garage where a very nice person accepted to take care of the car. He phoned the insurance and arranged everything. The insurer sent some engineers who inspected the car and the insurance said to the garage that they would only cover 65% of the costs...due to the mileage of the car (83,000 miles roughly). The garage has repared the car without asking me if I was ok to pay the last 35% and the insurer did not mention it to me either. I am going to call the insurance tomorrow to get more details about this story...but my concern is that : 1/ I am afraid of talking to them and to commit a mistake that could cost me more 2/ I don't know exactly what I am entitled to get and what are my resources in case they just refuse to change anything on this 3/ They ask me to pay the money upfront (around 2,000) and then I would have to make a claime but...I don't feel confident doing this..and I am far from having this money... I am really looking for help and advice here, I hope that someone will be able to assist, Thanks a lot, and have a very good evening
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I just got a ticket today.. my car hasn't pass smog and I currently don't have insurance. I have to go to court for this how much do you think they will fine me ?
How much will my car insurance go up base on my accident?
I drive a 2002 Volkswagen passat I am 17 years old I slid on black ice and spun around causing me to hit a rock. My whole front bumper came off and one of my head lights. No other cars involved. (THANK GOD) I have State Farm insurance. I heard its gonna be about 3000 or more to get it fixed without the insurance company My deductible is 500 What do you suggest I do?
Who should a check out for a decent Motorcycle insurance quote?
I have called around. And I k ow they are expensive to insure, but I have got some ridiculous quotes so far for my 08' hayabusa. Anyone have any ideas?""
Does my son have to be put on my car insurance?
My son is 16 and he is driving my husbands car and my husband tells him that he cant drive the car everyday because he is not on the insurance. Does he have to be on the insurance?
Insurance Card?
Is it true that your insurance company can refuse to cover you if you didn't have possession of your card in the car at the time of the accident? This is what I was told by a police officer at the scene. (I have a valid insurance policy, but I just didn't have the card there.)""
Which insurance can my family get for this?
My sister is severely schizophrenic, and my mother is the only one in the family willing to deal with (ahem, work with...) her. However, my mother has HIV and stomach cancer, so we don't really know when she's going to die, but we're taking every precaution in the meantime. Which insurance can our family (my siblings and I. Our father is deceased.) get to ensure that my severely schizophrenic sister receives 24/7 inpatient medical care when my mother dies? We live in California, if that makes a difference. (and *don't* even bother with take classes and learn how to live with her. We all have our own lives, we've all decided she needs to be hospitalised permanently.) If there are no insurance plans that can ensure this, about how much would it cost to have her admitted and her care maintained? (An amount please, not just a whole lot .) Thanks. C=""
""I would like to buy health insurance for my 13 year old son. What is the average cost in San Diego, California
What's average cost of health insurance for 13 year old boy in California?
How much is insurance for an Eagle Talon?
I need a new car, and I found a great deal on a 95 Eagle Talon, but my dad says that the insurance would be too high since I recently got into a car accident, and I'm only 19 years old, and because of course, it's kind of a sports car. Does anyone know about how high the insurance would be for someone living in Missouri? Any help appreciated.""
Cheap uk car insurance for a learner driver ? any good companies ??
question for pps in uk my husband just bought a little fiat punto got a provisional licence and wants 2 learn to drive in it we new to all this any idea what kind of cover he needs and any good not 2 expensive companies to try for insurance , hes 44 so not a young lad who wants to race about , he has a brother in law and m8 who both have full clean license who have offered to put the L plates on and take him out at weekends on a quite road to get some experience as well as having driving lessons too when he knows the basics , but we looked on nhet at diffrent insurance companies and they all so diffrent as anyone got any experience of whos the best company or comapnies to try thank you also whats diff with any driver or 1 driver and theres 3rd party etc , like i say we really are all new 2 this any info will be well appreciated thank you""
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
Cadillac Insurance Plan Question?
What would b a good example of the deductible , copays, coinsurance, lifetime max for a Cadillac Insurance Plans""
How much is insurance for a Porsche Boxster?
I'm 16 and getting a Boxster. I would like to know how much insurance is for it. We have state farm insurance. And I DO NOT want to hear Parents shouldn't give their teenager an expensive car! Just because I am a teenager, doesn't mean I will crash. I don't drink, speed, do drugs, or text and drive. So keep your opinions to yourself, thanks :)""
Where can I find disability insurance?
I am deaf and looking for special disability insurance for auto. I have state farms with my parent name but I am trying to get my own insurance that work with disability part.
What is the obamacare penalty for not having health insurance?
Is it a a monthly fine or something you pay when you do you taxes? Does it apply to dental insurance plans?
Do I need insurance for my license?
I live in North Carolina, and I just got my license a few months ago. I don't have a car yet, but I was told that I needed insurance in order to have a license. So, I'm paying $80 a month for insurance, just for holding a license. My car savings aren't looking too good at this rate, so I was wondering if anyone knew of any cheaper insurance companies I could go with?""
Is New York Life Insurance a good company to work for?
I have been job hunting and got a interview next week for financial adviser. I want to know if this type of job are commission based pay only and do I have to bug friend and family to buy stuff? thanks, andy""
Insurance Question.?
Can anyone give me an estimate on how much car insurance would be on a 2005 mustang V6. About $12,000. 3rd car. Thanks""
Car accident? How much should I expect when I settle?
I was in an accident 6 months ago (it was the other persons fault) and I am still going to the chriopractor and doing physical therapy, I got my car paid off which was totalled and this accident has changed my life and many of my plans were changed due to it. Im still in pain and have a scar how much money should I be expecting for my pain and suffering since I already got my property damage. Will I have to pay my medical bills with this money? The other insurance is a branch of allstate (i dont know if that helps)""
How much does insurance go up in a wreck?
Im a 16 year old male, get good grades, and i drive a 91 firebird. i recently got in a crash, my car was fine but the other guy had a scrape along the side of his car etc. how much can i expect my insurance to go up?""
I am 19 years of age i how much will they charge me for my insurance?
i have never been involved in a car accident or gotten pulled over by the police i live in california i have had my drivers license since i was 16. i own a 1997 nissan sentra gxe i pay 480 for it every 6 month and a 2011 nissan murano and i pay 554 every 6 months for it i have Farmers Insurance my dad is main driver my sister in the policy also. How much will they charge me if i buy a 2005 mustang will my car insurance sky rocket because i am consider an inexperience driver and mustang is a sports car Please help
Can I still be on my parents car insurance if I live in another state?
I'm currently living in New York and planning to get a condo in Georgia for college. Once I move and have MY OWN address (the condo would be permanent) and a resident of Georgia, am I still able to be on my parents insurance if my parents own the car. I believe that if you live in the dorms you can still be on their insurance but we need to purchase a property because in-state tuition is far cheaper than out of state tuition.""
Car insurance while deployed...?
My husband is in the military and is currently deployed overseas and I had a question about his car insurance. It does have a loan out on it so that requires us to have full coverage on it normally...I was wondering that while he is deployed and since his car is not going to be driven (there is no way I can drive it since it's a stick shift and I can't drive those lol) if we could lower the insurance on it. I'm just not sure if we'd be able to because of the loan...or does it depend on the bank/insurance company? Thanks for any info!!
HEALTH INSURANCE FOR INFERITILITY?
I live in Georgia and I am trying to find some private insurance that would cover fertility testing and not treatment such as ivf OR IUI . Me and my fiance have been trying to have a baby for 3 years and i have tried everything, i finally have saved up enough money to be able to pay for private insurance can someone please tell me some health insurance company that may cover fertility testing.""
Auto Insurance Question?
Hi all, I live in California and I got in a car accident yesterday. I found out today that the insurance company suspended our insurance due to a late payment so we most likely had no coverage at the time of the accident. What are my options at this point?? The accident was not my fault and the other driver was arrested for felony DUI and they had insurance. What are my options?? Thanks in advance!""
Which companies offer life insurance to clients who have chronic health problems?
I am 37 years old with a diagnosis of lupus (not flaring) with a history of minor kidney involvement, deep vein thrombosis, and high blood pressure. I have been trying to get life insurance but have been consistently denied by the major companies to which I have applied. Does anyone have any suggestions? The only suggestion I received from one company was the hint to purchase Accidental Death and Disability, and if my medical condition worsened, to have an accident . I am hoping for better advice.""
Funtions of home insurance?
what are functions of home insurance?
Average moped cost for 21yo student?
Im thinking of getting a moped to run around on as its so much cheaper than a car and was wondering how much this would cost. I can find the moped but how much would the tax, insurance etc be? Im a female 21 year old student, from england if that helps at all for working out the insurance.""
Moving to Pennsylvania - how do i get car insurance?
I recently moved to PA from NY. I have Allstate insurance on a rented car using my old address in NY. It expires in a little under a month. What do I do now? How do I go about getting new insurance? DO I have to go through the crazy process of getting PA plates? (I only plan on being here for 2 yrs - then I'm moving back to NY) BTW, my parents still live in NY. I'm not sure if that can help me.""
How much would bike insurance cost me per year?
I'm 22, looking to get a Ninja 250, am going to complete a Motorcycle Safety Foundation course, and have a clean record. What would be a reasonable, average price I'd be looking at for either basic or full coverage?""
Recommendation for Mexican auto insurance (going to Ensenada).?
We are traveling to Ensenada this weekend and I want to purchase insurance online before we go. Does anyone have a carrier they recommend?
Insurance Coverage?
HI I was in accident about 5 Month ago..I was seen by a doctors but I stopped going becuase I didn't have that much pain. Now I started having all this pain on my legs..so My question is, if I go see a doctor now, does my insurance covers it. Thank you for your advice..""
Part-time job enough to pay car insurance?
Would a part-time job at a mall store or movie theatre pay enough to cover an 18-year-olds car insurance? How old are you and how much does your car insurance cost monthly?
My car insurance rate is ridicules. why?
Im currently insured with Geico. I got my plan back last year when i had a beater car (2001 nissan maxima). My premium was only 260 or so for the whole year, whiche came out to 40 bucks or so a month. ive since bought a new car (2013 nissan versa) and switched it with my old car. my monthly payment only went up 4 or 5 bucks as a result. This rate is fricking great and i have no problems. however, when i go to refinance (for lack of a better word) my insurance or simply shop around, for some reason the quotes they give me skyrockets my payments to 260+ a month!! the same is for other insurance providers aswell, even the insurance offered by my bank! what gives? why the huge leap? i have a clean record (no accidents ever, last speeding ticket was 4+ years ago), what was at the time, a brand new car, aswell as a better job (was working in a restaurant, now at a lawfirm). Sure, ive moved since i first got the policy, into a poorer neighboor hood, but does it really warrant a 200 dollar increase? Someone please help me wrap my head around this. im 21 and am still pretty clueless when it comes to this sort of thing""
Are there extensions of unemployment insurance in CA?
Does the claim automatically end once your remaining amount is gone, or can the claim be extended if you are still unemployed?""
How much is a g35 coupe insurance?
I am a 17 male and am about to buy a 2004 g35 and was wondering how much insurance was. I have a clean slate, no accidents or tickets. I have farmers insurance and was wondering how much my monthly insurance would be roughly? I have a good gpa of above 3.0 so doesn't that give me a discount?""
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
Durant Oklahoma Cheap car insurance quotes zip 74702
https://www.linkedin.com/pulse/one-quote-direct-car-insurance-cancellation-arthur-peterson/"
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eamonrmcivor-blog · 7 years
Text
If You Were Born A Girl
~Wherein I discover my brother is not my brother~
When I was in second grade, my mother decided she was either going to buy a share in a horse, or have a third child.  I do remember a few visits to a stable near our house, but the clearer memory is of the fertility clinics.  Hanging out in any doctor’s office is torture enough, but the fertility clinic had a mysterious and unclear purpose (and a distinct lack of toys in the waiting room). When my parents were whisked away by a nurse, were they being taken to some sort of tacky showroom containing high-end fetuses in shiny glass jars?  “We’re having a year-end blowout on the ’92 models, but you might want to wait until the ‘93s come on the lot.  Ten fingers and ten toes come standard, or your money back.”
 My parents eventually went with a ’93 model, with a projected delivery date in mid-September.  Over the summer, my older sister Charlotte and my grandmother teased me relentlessly that the baby was going to be a girl and I was going to be outnumbered.  My mother, while not framing it in a “sisters vs. brother” context, was also pretty sure she was carrying a girl.  As the due date grew closer, we abandoned referring to “the baby” and mainly used the name my parents had picked out. Rosemary.
The day my mother went into labor, Charlotte and I stayed at my grandparents’ house.  We were informed that evening via telephone that my mother had given birth to a boy, Benjamin Joseph McIvor.  I had gotten my little brother after all!  I knew I’d have to wait a few years before he was formed and/or interesting enough to hang out with, but I was happy to have him waiting in the wings. He’d be my sidekick, my student, my smaller version of me who would be grateful for any attention because I was his older, and therefore impossibly cool, brother.  
Ben was a hilarious kid.  There are some home movies where he’s dressed in a red jacket and matching bowtie. Combine that with his cherub face and brown mop top, and he looked like a ventriloquist dummy come to life.  The funny, charming kind; not the stab-you kind. The video was shot during a family party, and he’s darting around like a maniac, but not in a hyper I’ve-had-too-much-sugar way.  He was doing schtick!  He was only three or four, but he knew how to put a whole room of adults under his spell and make them laugh uncontrollably.  
As much as I aspired to be the perfect older brother, I did indulge in that beloved pastime of all siblings: teasing.  When Ben was in kindergarten, Charlotte and I convinced him he was born a beagle that had been shaved and given plastic surgery to look human.  On his eleventh birthday, I bought him a Yu-Gi-Oh DVD, and stashed it inside a purse before putting on wrapping paper. The gag went over like gangbusters with everyone except Ben, who violently threw the purse across the room.
 “If you were born a girl, we would have named you Rosemary,” was a line I resorted to with great frequency.
Once he turned fourteen, Ben grew his hair down to his shoulders.  However, he was a student of Archbishop Ryan High School, and as you might imagine, the Catholics are not too fond of ponytails on men. He met with the disciplinarian on almost a daily basis, and was in danger of being suspended.  I had grown my hair long as soon as I went to college, and advised him to wait until then.  In his desperation, he asked my parents to buy him a short-haired wig he could wear to school.  After Ben made a passionate plea to the disciplinarian that the hair was all he had, a cool head prevailed, and my brother was allowed to keep his long chestnut locks. When he began to style his hair with thick, shiny ribbons, I told him he looked like Gay Thomas Jefferson. It’s not unusual for happy-go-lucky ventriloquist dummy-emulating kids to morph into grumpy, distant teenagers, so when Ben’s personality made a sudden shift to the dark and dour, it didn’t strike anyone in the family as particularly unusual.  A lifelong passion for baseball disappeared overnight, and he converted to Wicca (which, to the further ire of the disciplinarian, involved wearing a variety of silver pendants & trinkets).  He didn’t join any extracurricular activities, explaining he needed the downtime on weekends to play video games and teach himself to speak Russian. Shortly before he left for college at Bloomsburg University, Ben asked us to start addressing him as Venyamina (Venya for short), which he explained was the Russian equivalent of his given name.  Growing up with the frequently butchered name Eamon (my favorite mis-pronunciation is “Almond”), I asked why he’d voluntarily change his name to something so atypical, and frankly, made-up sounding.  He said he was tired of people calling him Ben Franklin or Ben Dover, and wanted to dissociate himself from teasing he’d suffered in grade school.  Yeah, sure, okay  You’re Venya now.  I still called him Ben, mostly out of habit.  Who fucking changes their name after living with it for nineteen years? Trans persons do.
 My mother, father and I all sat around the dining room table, waiting for my little brother to start.  It was January 2013, during Venya’s first winter break.  He was dressed in baggy blue jeans, a dark t-shirt and a hoody. Pretty much the uniform of the McIvor Brothers.  He had checked and double-checked I would be there that night. With hesitation on his lips, and anxiety in his eyes he began to speak—
 But those words are a blur to me now, and any attempt to recreate them would be a disservice to the bravery the littlest McIvor then exhibited.  Confusion.  Always felt different.  Not like the other boys.  Psychological pain.  Feminine. Isolation.  Dysphoria.  Those sentiments, communicated in halting, hushed phrases.  I wasn’t sure what the kid with the long chestnut locks was trying to say.
 “Are you gay?” I asked my little brother.
 “I’m a woman,” my little sister replied.
 If you were born a girl, we would have named you Rosemary.  You were born into the wrong body, so you renamed yourself Venyamina.
 I love you, we love you, no matter what, are you sure, when did you know, wait how do you pronounce your new name again, we love you and support you no matter what, are you going to get lower-body surgery, how long has this been going on, is this why you didn’t go to your senior prom and smoked pot alone in your room instead, Ben I love you, I mean Venya I love you, are you sure?  But we love you no matter what!
 I asked her to go for a walk with me, because there was some apologizing to be done on my end.  The Rosemary line, sure, and the purse gag, yeah.  Pretty standard teasing stuff, but it took on a far more sinister edge with what I knew now.  She accepted my apologies, but did let me know that calling her Gay Thomas Jefferson had been a particularly sharp dagger.  I had made that quip not because I thought being gay was a bad thing, but as a comment on the gulf between her masculine clothing and ribbon-adorned hair.  It had never read to me as particularly feminine, just another Ben quirk.  But it was all she’d had.
Before I met my sister, I had never been outwardly intolerant of any trans persons, but was privately skeptical and unnerved by it.  No matter what you “thought” you were, why would you willingly butcher your body in a way that could never be completely convincing? When Laura Jane Grace of the band Against Me! came out as a trans woman in 2012, I scoffed that she was immediately being referred to as she/her.  I thought to myself, “But you haven’t gotten your sex change yet!  You’re not a real girl!”  
But these were my issues and my projections.  I have body issues.  I turn from mirrors the way a vampire turns from the cross.  I worry about what people think of my appearance.  That thinning hair, that disgusting mole, those stretch marks.  But my shit is not the world’s shit.  My idiotic notions of what a person should look like and my irrational fear that others are constantly sneering at my body are mine alone. “Wait until college to grow your hair long.”  “Why give yourself a hard to pronounce name?”  When I said those things, I was talking to myself, and not my sister.
I don’t know why I was once so attached to strict, obsessive rules for defining what did and did not constitute a man or a woman, but viewing the world solely through my own experience was wrong.  I cannot question anyone’s gender because I am not them.  I’m ashamed it took until someone in my own family coming out as trans for me to realize this truth.  I’m not going to blame cultural conditioning for my ignorance, because I had known gay and trans persons since I was twelve.
The months after Venyamina came out were relatively calm.  She would be home every few weeks for a break or a holiday.  A little more make-up, capris instead of jeans, a higher-pitched voice.  My father embraced his daughter’s new identity with zeal, even if he didn’t completely comprehend the particulars.  He conflated gender with sexuality, and occasionally mixed up being a transvestite with being transsexual.  Still, he read books she recommended and joined a support group for parents with trans children.  For my part, I bought Venyamina some Doom Patrol comics written by Rachel Pollock.
 My mother continued to use the he/him pronouns when discussing my sister, and usually referred to her as “Benya/Venya.”  Sure, we all slipped up with the name and pronoun changes in the early going, but she clung to them far longer than was appropriate.  I tried to drill it into her mind that Ben was gone, and that using those words would only serve to push her daughter away.  Worse yet, she blamed the fertility treatments for “causing” the gender dysphoria.  I told her there was no percentage in thinking about that; all that mattered was that Venyamina was here and that we showed her that we loved her.
Summer was hell.  Once Venyamina was home from college, she barely ever left her room.  She was pushing for hormones and a legal name change right away, and my parents wanted her to wait a little longer.  Even I was skeptical that she was transitioning too quickly.  She’d always had an impulsive nature that led to her fervently embracing things and abandoning them almost as fast.  However, this wasn’t like when she’d become a vegetarian right before a fancy dinner with relatives we hadn’t seen in over a decade. This was her life.
 The big sticking point was her desire to transfer to Warren Wilson College in Asheville, North Carolina.  It had a trans-friendly environment, and the woman Venyamina had started dating in the spring was transferring there, too.  My mom thought it was too far away, my dad wanted Venyamina to properly research and apply to three schools, and I didn’t want my baby sister moving to the South, even nestled in a liberal community.  She was still in the motherfucking South.  Not that I had any say in it; they were all at enough cross purposes without involving the resident court jester.
 The stalemate over Venyamina’s school continued through the summer into the fall. In December 2013, just a few days before my mother was due to pick my sister up from Bloomsburg, my parents received a blistering email from Venyamina.  She had been accepted to Warren Wilson and would be starting there next semester.  She told them she was safe, and not to come look for her.  I was devastated.  This was going to be the first Christmas all five of us would be together since Charlotte got married four years before.  I sent Venyamina frantic emails promising her that she could stay at my apartment and would be under my protection.
She didn’t come home that winter.  She only spoke with my parents about money, and usually via text messages. She didn’t return my phone calls, and declined to meet up with me when I visited Raleigh, North Carolina in February. What the fuck was her problem?  I wasn’t our parents, and I’d shown her nothing but love and acceptance the past year.  Why punish me for our parents’ ignorance?  Again, I’d put my selfish needs and experiences before hers.  She was trying to make a clean break from an existence that had brought her nothing but pain, and all I had cared about was getting the complete collection together for a photo opportunity.  
Over time, though, she and I were honest and understanding with one another and repaired our relationship.  She’s visited home twice since she moved to North Carolina.  I had to break up a fight between Venyamina’s girlfriend and my mom the first time, but the second visit was sans fisticuffs.  That’s progress, I guess?
On the rare occasions Venyamina talks about Ben, she describes how she drowned him in the ocean after she came out.  That makes me sad, because I grew up with Ben.  The toddler who hid my Power Ranger zords during a vacation at the beach. The kid who wrote a fan letter to Emma Watson and told her he was half-velociraptor.  The teenager who starred in my spy parody film, The Ben Identity.  However, I happily lay flowers at my brother’s grave so that my sister can live.
Venyamina is still distant from my parents, but she did call them when she won a social work award at Warren Wilson this past spring.  She’s starting an internship in the fall, and we’re collaborating on a writing project that deals with trans issues.  I moved to Los Angeles a few months ago, so we’re farther away from each other than ever, but somehow, the closest we’ve ever been.
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