#and allllll i wanna do is read and fantasize abt how ppl from the other side of the world who dont even know i exist would comfort me

[kyuala]

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#tmi but i've been trying to consume less fanfiction so i dont always resort to escapism and fantasy when real life gets tough but #it's so fucking hard #like i feel so alone w no one to talk to rn and everything is so hard and im having family trouble and the past few weeks have been awful #and allllll i wanna do is read and fantasize abt how ppl from the other side of the world who dont even know i exist would comfort me #or distract myself w other scenarios that will literally never happen n all it does is feed into my discontentment when real life is a bitch #and inevitably fails to match imagination #not only that but it also has a real effect on my real life relationships (or attempts at them) and i know i cant keep going like this #but as someone who's been an avid fanfiction reader for over a decade.... yea it's hard 🤡 #this is not a pity party or a cry for help btw i just wanted to get this out and needed to dump it somewhere #feel free to ignore it! or not idk! do what u want #mari.txt #personal #tw negative