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#and having a mad scientist that could make super badass upgrades and weapons
lord-squiggletits · 4 months
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Bolts upright from my bed
In an AU where Pharma lives the Adaptus thing and comes back on the Lost Light, wouldn't he find out that the crew had to deal with being cornered and nearly killed by the DJD and a bunch of other Decepticons?
And then Pharma could get to be like "oh I see :) you were under threat by the DJD :))) why didn't you just run? Oh you couldn't and had no means of escape? Funny :)))) didn't you call for help? Oh you did right??? And did anyone come???? :)))))) did anyone come in time to save you from the DJD????? DID THEY????? DID YOU JUST CALL FOR HELP AND RUN AWAY AND THE DJD JUST LET YOU GO????? :))))))))))) OH THE DJD BLOCKED COMMUNICATIONS AND HAD YOU SURROUNDED????? OH HOW TRAGIC I GUESS YOU COULDN'T ESCAPE AFTER ALL AND A LOT OF YOUR FRIENDS DIED :)))))))))))))))) AND THE ONLY REASON YOU WON WAS BECAUSE YOU HAD A LOT OF SUPERPOWERFUL FIGHTERS ON YOUR SIDE???? WOW IMAGINE WHAT MIGHT'VE HAPPENED IF YOU HAD NO FRIENDS AND BARELY ANY MILITARY SUPPORT AND THE DJD CAME HUH??? WOW WHAT A RELIEF THAT DIDNT HAPPEN"
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In other words, I'm pretty much convinced that the reason Pharma is remembered as "the evil cowardly doctor that murdered innocents to save his own skin" instead of "the Autobot that got mindbroken by Tarn into thinking that making a plague and killing everyone was his only way to escape" is because he got introduced before the DJD were established as a pants-shittingly evil and sadistic group of freaks, and unlike Rodimus' crew he didn't have the luxury of being a main character whose thoughts and experiences were shown on screen. Pretty much his reputation as "crazy token evil Autobot" was sealed from MTMTE #5 and by the time MTMTE #50-something brought Dying of the Light, Pharma was a footnote in the story and never got to have this new information about the terror of the DJD factored into his own character.
#squiggposting#pharma apologism#i mean isnt there literally a scene in dying of the light where tarn talks about how drawing out his strike#makes the enemy suffer more from degradation and panic#and megatron says that he wrote the DJD manifesto to be about systematically isolating and tormenting targets b4 actually killing them#and when they send out an SOS its not received until literally weeks later#and pretty much the only reason most of them survived was bc of spark trauma magic#and having a mad scientist that could make super badass upgrades and weapons#but oh when PHARMA doesnt call for help and doesnt run away it's just bc hes evil and cowardly#i mean i know in the text he says that he just wanted to get away with his name cleared but like#how can you look at what the DJD did in future chapters and go oh yeah pharma did what he did#just because hes prideful and didnt want to ask for help or get caught for his misdeeds#like sure that's the only part the narrative shows but that's prolly bc pharma wasnt meant to be that deep#from a doylist view there wouldnt have been room in the story for this random side villain to get a sad backstory#anyways it just really. gets my goat lmao#the difference b/t pharma and the LL crew on necroworld in terms of audience sympathy#was basically just placement in the story and screentime#hence why pharma is just a crazy evil doctor who sucks at being an autobot#and the LL crew are brave heroes and friends making a last stand against evil#good for the LL crew that they could actually fight back but uh. pharma couldnt#abyways sorry for being weird about pharma on main it will happen again
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Metallo
I wanted to talk about one of my favorite DC villains, a guy who I’ve always thought was incredibly cool. A guy who I’ve thought makes a really awesome contrast for Superman. A guy who has never been in stories that have utilized his potential in my eyes:
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Let’s talk about Metallo.
Metallo’s Background
He’s one of Superman’s oldest Rogues, and also one of the Rogues who has gone through the most revamps. The Golden Age Superman fought a guy called Metalo aka George Grant who created a suit of armor made out of the strongest metal on Earth (something that would resurface in the Grant Morrison revamp during the New 52) and a super strength serum that made him Superman’s physical equal. In an odd way he was an evil proto-Iron Man/Post Crisis Lex Luthor:
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The John Corben take wouldn’t show up until the 1950s, created by Robert Bernstein and Al Plastino. This was the foundation for the modern conception of Metallo:
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Right off the bat Corben was positioned as an Anti-Superman, predating Bizarro who wouldn’t show up until later. Corben worked as a journalist to cover up his real activities as a murderer and thief. An accident that nearly killed him and crippled his human body, forced him to accept a deal with a scientist to transfer his mind to a new artificial body. The scientist transferred his mind into an android body covered in synthetic bulletproof skin, gifting Corben with super strength. The synthetic skin idea would be used in Byrne’s revamp and the DCAU incarnation. He was initially powered by uranium, but was told he would need Kryptonite to fuel himself permanently. Corben would also act as a romantic rival for Clark via wooing Lois with his pretense of being Superman’s secret identity.
Ultimately John Corben would die in his debut issue, after mistaking a museum prop for the actual Kryptonite he needed to power himself. I often wonder if the character might have been better off if he had not been killed off in his debut, similarly to how the Joker was saved from dying in his debut by editorial. There were many intriguing ideas present in Corben’s creation: He was a romantic rival for Clark Kent, he used his journalism in a similar if villainous way as Superman did, and he was powered by the very thing that could kill Superman while still possessing enough raw strength to stand on equal terms with the Man of Steel. If they had kept him around, fleshed him out more, might Metallo have enjoyed more long term respect?
 Regardless, Corben’s death paved the way for the third Metallo: His brother Roger Corben.
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Roger likewise had a lot of interesting ideas that would eventually get folded into the modern Metallo. He was not a petty thief, but had a personal vendetta with Superman over the death of his brother. Superman accidentally caused the very accident that crippled Roger, adding to the man’s feud. Roger was also a leader within the Skull organization, rather than the small time criminal his brother was. This Metallo’s design would form the basis for the Geoff Johns/Gary Frank revamp during Secret Origin, and I suspect the Johns conception of Metallo as a member of a wider organization and whose transformation was caused by Superman has it’s roots here.
Sadly the take on a more fleshed out Metallo would not last. The Roger Corben version of Metallo would meet his end with the rest of the Pre-Crisis Superman Rogues Gallery in the seminal Alan Moore story Whatever Happened to the Man of Tomorrow?
Enter John Byrne:
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During his Post-Crisis revamp of the Supermythos, Byrne returned to the John Corben take of a petty thief injured in an accident, who is rebuilt by a mad scientist Professor Vale. Byrne added his own twist though, with the scientist believing Superman to be the first scout in a full blown Kryptonian takeover of Earth, and specifically crafted Metallo to be an Anti-Superman weapon powered by Kryptonite. Metallo was to be humanity’s defense against the threat of Superman, an idea that would be revisited in Johns’ and Morrison’s revamps. Unfortunately petty thieves don’t make for great heroes, and Metallo killed Vale, ultimately coming into conflict with Superman not over any desire to protect humanity, but to simply eliminate a thorn in his side.
This incarnation of Metallo has basically served as the basis for his appearance in outside media, with a design that blatantly draws on the popular Terminator films.
This version of Metallo would also acquire a variety of powers thanks to making a deal with Neron that included the ability to transform parts of his body into weapons, transfer his consciousness into any technological or mechanical device, and manipulate his size:
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Personally I’ve always loved that powerset upgrade, and think it’s crucial it sticks. It let him kick the shit out of Superman AND Batman in Loeb Superman/Batman, which basically solidified for me that this dude was a badass you didn’t want to mess with. Shame he’s never come close to matching that initial impression since.
The DCAU mostly used the Byrne revamp’s take, but they did change a few aspects which would end up carrying over to the mainline version. Most important was the replacing of Vale with Lex Luthor as the mind behind Metallo’s creation, something that would be incorporated in both Johns and Morrison’s later revamps.
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One aspect that they introduced that didn’t carry over, that was still utilized to great effectiveness in the show, was that Corbyn’s transformation had robbed him of most physical sensation. He couldn’t taste, smell, touch, all the little things that made us human, and that drove him nuts. Ultimately he would learn that Lex was responsible for what happened to him, and he would swear a grudge against both Lex and Superman. Malcom McDowell was a fantastic choice to play Metallo, and is still the guy I “hear” when I read Metallo’s dialogue.
Now we come to the guy who crafted the next big revamp of Metallo: Geoff Johns.
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This version of Metallo incorporated a ton of aspects from the multiple revamps that had preceded it, in much the same way Secret Origin did to Superman as a whole, while also adding a few new twists that I consider essential to the character now.
Like the DCAU, Luthor was the one who transformed Corben into Metallo. Like the Roger Corben take, this John Corben was accidentally crippled in a fight with Superman that gave him a personal vendetta against the Man of Steel.  Similar to Byrne, this Metallo was created to be an Anti-Superman weapon. Corben and Lois had had a brief romantic relationship, similar to the original debut of Corben. Johns even incorporated some of the Golden Age Metallo by having Corben suit up in a mech suit made of “Metallo”, the strongest metal on Earth to fight Superman before the accident. Johns also added a key bit of lore that I love, that Corben served as a soldier under General Sam Lane, and became the man’s surrogate son, the child he always wanted as opposed to Lois and Lucy. Here Corben is motivated to fight Kal-El by a mix of xenophobia, need to impress his father figure, desire to impress Lois, and a simple dose of blood lust.
The last major revamp came from Grant Morrison during the New 52:
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Morrison kept a lot of the Johns revamp: Corben was a soldier serving under Sam Lane, he had a brief romantic relationship with Lois, he was distrustful of Superman’s heroics, and his transformation into Metallo was connected to Lex. However Corben was a much more sympathetic figure under Morrison than under Johns, genuinely believing Superman to be a threat, he volunteered to be merged with the Metal-0 superweapon (another callback to the original Metalo) to defend humanity, but Brainiac hijacked his cybernetics and turned him into a weapon. 
While Metallo would get another visual revamp for Rebirth, posted in the first image, Corben has more or less stayed within the confines that Byrne/Johns/Morrison established.
How I would use Metallo
I said earlier that Metallo is a guy I loved that I’ve never thought has lived up to his potential. He’s a villain with a lot of cool ideas, he’s a villain who has been continuously used by a lot of my favorite writers, but he’s never lived up to the Anti-Superman characterization that’s baked into him. Too often he’s just been a glorified henchman, or a petty thug, rarely if ever challenging Superman except in the most basic physical sense. I think that’s a great disservice to the ability of the character to be a much more important Rogue. That writers so often refuse to focus on him or any of the Rogues beyond Lex also hasn’t done him any favors. Instead of creating countless new OCs that are tossed aside by the next writer, someone needs to come on board with a passion for revamping the classics.
A lot of Superman’s Rogues suck not because they aren’t cool or don’t bring any interesting ideas, but because the ideas don’t do a good job in contrasting with Superman’s attributes. Metallo is a great example of this, look at all the interesting ideas creators have crafted around him, yet none of them have really been able to push those ideas as a way to explore and contrast Superman, so we get basic “Metallo tries to kill Superman, fails, Superman sends him back to jail” stories. That’s a failure of creativity in my eyes. I think that by choosing from some of the revamps listed above, a better, cooler, more interesting Metallo can be crafted.
The basics as established by Byrne/Johns/Morrison are great! The essential ideas that should be incorporated from all of the revamps listed above are:
1. Corben needs to have a military background as in Johns/Morrison. The petty thief origin is too dull, there’s nothing really to be mined there from a characterization standpoint. As a soldier Corben can serve as an interesting critique and contrast of Superman as an icon of America. The “American Way” has always been a dicey add-on to the original “Truth and Justice” motto. Often it’s been used to cast Superman as an obedient stooge of the government, as he was in The Dark Knight Returns, a characterization that has dogged him ever since. I think Corben can serve as an interesting character to explore Superman’s relationship with the American military-industrial complex. I would have Corben be what said complex wants Superman to be, at least in the beginning: A human WMD they can aim and fire, who will always follow orders no matter how reprehensible they are, who has a firm “America First” mindset. That way you can contrast the mainline Superman, and show that Superman is not that while also establishing what “The American Way” means in his eyes. Or you can have Superman drop that aspect of his motto in-universe, out of disgust for how his government perverts it. Either option is fine with me, I didn’t mind when Superman renounced his American citizenship.
2. If Lois often has to end up working with Clark’s exes, whether it’s Lana, Diana, or whoever, I think it’s only fair that Clark has to end up facing down an ex from Lois’ past. It’s important to show that Lois had a life before Clark showed up, and I think Corben is a good way to explore some of that. He’s the possessive ex-boyfriend who doesn’t respect Lois’ personal space and is convinced he can “win her back” via sheer determination. You can also compare and contrast the way Clark courted Lois, did Clark occasionally make the same pigheaded assumptions as Corben did? Corben debuted as a romantic rival for Superman, and I think that aspect still has merit. I also like his status as Sam’s surrogate son, it adds for some nice tension with Clark’s father-in-law that the guy he actually wanted to marry Lois was transformed into a weapon to kill the guy who ended up being his son-in-law. 
3. Corben is a true believer in the threat Superman poses, and is willing to take on the transformation into Metallo to protect humanity. It’s xenophobia yes, but with all the Evil Superman stories going around, it’s hard not to sympathize at least a little bit with Corben’s viewpoint, which tie into a deeper attribute of Corben’s I think needs to be brought up: Corben should be a sympathetic villain. I wouldn’t make him a bloodthirsty psycho, Superman has plenty of those. Corben should have villainous valor, willing to tackle on whatever threats to humanity are out there, whether Superman or others. I would make Corben instead someone who has the genuine desire to protect humanity, but lacks Superman’s concern for collateral damage. In that way you could contrast the two’s brand of “heroics”, Superman’s loyalty to humanity as a whole over one nation, and concern with protecting lives first and foremost, Corben’s desire to protect humanity’s future for the “greater good” even if it costs a few lives in the here and now and loyalty to America above all else. 
4. I like the idea of Superman being inadvertently responsible for the accident that cripples Corben and mandates his transformation. It adds to his sympathy, helps justify why Superman might continue to believe Corben could find redemption (he wants Corben to change and also wants to find a way to earn Corben’s forgiveness one day), and provides a good personal reason for why Corben would hate Superman, blaming Supes for his current state. I would also have him blame Sam and Lex as well, but he would subdue those resentments for as long as he remained working for the military. Only after he finally snaps would he target those two.
5. Finally I would keep the ability to shapeshift his body into weapons, and to manipulate technology. I would have Corben emulating Adam Jensen from Deus Ex, able to “hack” tech around him for his own purpose, armed with a variety of weapons that make him a huge threat not just to Superman but to everyone. Finally I would get rid of the Kryptonite heart. I’m tired of every battle with Metallo going the same way: He shows up, blasts Superman with kryptonite radiation, Superman lies on the ground gasping in pain, Metallo stands around gloating like a moron instead of finishing Supes off, Supes beats him by tricking him or by someone else intervening. I want to see Metallo as an Anti-Superman weapon realized beyond jus the Kryptonite. How about incorporating the DCAU version’s lack of feeling, so that Metallo doesn’t feel pain from Superman’s blows or his powers? How about giving him an internal temperature controller, so he can’t be melted by heat vision or frozen by arctic breath? How about an invisibility cloak that hides him from Superman’s vision, sound mufflers that let him sneak up on Supes even with his hearing, basically go WILD with his Anti-Superman status, let us see a real fight between someone who can counter each of Superman’s powers! You have Kryptonite Man and Lex for the villains who mainly make use of Kryptonite against Superman, I think Metallo should go in a different direction. Morrison making it so that “Metal-0″ was already powerful enough to hurt Superman is all the justification you need as to why he still poses a threat in my opinion.
I’ll go over the basic arc I’d want to see him undergo and the kinds of stories I think he’s positioned to tell in another post.
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annakie · 4 years
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An Annotated Mass Effect Playthrough, Part Six
Wherein we get out into space and explore a bit, and complete our crew.
And post a lot of gifs, because screenshots were lost.
List of Posts: 0 1 2 3 4 5 6 7 8 9
So I use the NVidia Control Panel app to take screenshots and videos.  Since it’s already running and it takes good shots it seems dumb to not use it.
I ended up being super busy this week and didn’t play much, just got through like, talking to Kaidan after the big speech on the bridge more or less for the entire week, and through Therum.  I updated my drivers a day or two ago.  And then I didn’t notice that for whatever reason, yesterday when I went to play for a few hours, NVidia decided to record videos just fine, but not take screenshots.  I probably actually mashed the button several hundred times.... but all I got were videos.
Most of it wasn’t a great loss, it was a lot of talking to the crew, and a few planetary missions which... so I’m going to have to go back and redo some of it later for screenshots.
But I thought... hey, for posting on tumblr, I’ll just make it a shorter update and make a few gifs and most this a mostly-gif post!  That’ll be fun!
...and then I spent several hours making almost 80 gifs, including a lot of what I also had screenshots for but thought making gifs would be more fun.  
I mean I was watching the last few eps of the newest season of Great British Bake Off on Netflix, and a few other shows this morning so it wasn’t just gif time... but yeah I made a lot.  So I might split this into two posts now because... that’s a lot of gifs. This post will still have a lot of screenshots, too.  So here we go!
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There are so many things to love about this moment.  It’s such a great like, re-launch of the game... Bioware telling us “Okay, now you know the plot, you know all the major players, you know a lot about our world (galaxy) and how it works and who lives here, now, it’s time for you to go out on your own.”
First, it starts with being able to vent a little to Joker, which is a nice touch.  Shepard might feel guilty about taking the ship over from Anderson, but Joker also assures us here, a great preview of the way he’s tasked with helping Shepard keep it together in ME3.
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I love seeing Shepard’s words affect the crew.  The swelling music, the same as the “you’re a Spectre now!!” music just underscores the journey, and what’s to come.
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I used to always miss this scene by not picking the right speech option, and would be mad Kaidan was left out of this montage.  My fault!
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This moment is so beautiful and epic.
...and here we go.
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ALOT, btw, makes the galaxy map so pretty.  Sharper and clearer and more colorful.  
We all usually just head to Liara’s Dig Site first, right?  Unless you’re doing one of those “Pick up Liara last just to see what happens” playthroughs?  I did that once. It felt weird.  And sad, when you tell her “oops I killed your mom and I’m not sorry.”  Seems like she shouldn’t have gotten over that so quickly, but well, that’s game design.  The entire plot just doesn’t feel the same and more flimsy without Liara around from the start.
I usually do Therum --> Feros --> Noveria --> Virmire.
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Well okay, first a stop at Edolus, since, you know, it’s on the way.
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What a LOVELY day, nothing could possibly go wrong on this barren world. I feel like they gave us a pretty easy-to-get-around-on world to start out with.
I honestly love driving around in the mako 90% of the time?  Once you’re used to the controls, it’s not that hard to get most places you want to go.  Though I admit the Nomad in Andromeda is a big upgrade.  I kinda miss it in ME2 and ME3, though I only do what driving is necessary in Overlord and skip Firewalker like, half the time.
First, let’s check out the map...
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I’m pretty sure I didn’t realize you could mark your destination on the map and it’d put a handy arrow on your radar until I started playing on PC.  Before then I was checking the map every 5 seconds making SURE I was going the right way.  *facepalm*  
Generally my scanning strategy on the planet is... just go to the things on the map, but do go to ALL the things on the map.  If I see something along the way, stop and get it.  I don’t go way out of my way to look for unmarked stuff.  Usually the UNC missions can be completed doing that + complete planet / asteroid scanning.
Oh hey here’s a guy, let’s just grab what we can off him...
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UGH.  MINIGAMES.
Like I get that the minigame is a stand in for “looking for clues, are you successful in finding anything useful?” or whatever but it’s still just the worst.  A minigame is fun occasionally, making it as a gate to something like looting a body is stupid.  I guess I have to forgo actually putting points into things that keep Kaidan alive at the early levels so he can help me... loot bodies.  Cool.  Great.
Since I’m cheating in credits, all weapons and armor get medigelled almost immediately so that I don’t have to do the minigame later on when they get harder, like, ever.
The ME2 minigames at least make a little more sense than this moving puzzler thing.  That’s at least an attempt to look like some kind of code hacking or rewiring/reprogramming.  This thing is just... silly.
ME2 has a disable minigames mod... so there will be no talk of minigames from here on out.  They don’t exist after the easy minigames early on in ME1.
So I ... somehow managed to not get video or screenshots of you know the ICONIC THRESHER MAW attack on Edolus?  So please enjoy this gif I made of it back in 2013 instead.
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It’s such a great fakeout and moment.  Like “Oh man how easy my goal is like right in front of me!  That’s great, so easy!” then OH HELL NO, FUCK YOU, GIANT WORM!!
These gifs are from another planet later on, but they’ll do.
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My normal MO with Maws is to get out of the way, far enough that they can’t appear too close to or especially under me, but close enough that they do still show up, then stay stationary and jump over the goo while shooting at it.
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YOU’RE FACING THE OTHER WAY HOW DID YOU SPIT AT ME?!
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This is fine.  EVERYTHING IS FINE. We’re just A LITTLE ON FIRE.  Our shields are at full...
Oh hell, Kaidan slap some medigel on it, please.
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Even though we don’t know who Cerberus is yet, FUCK YOU CERBERUS. I always bring the VS to any Cerberus mission because THEY WERE RIGHT NOT TO JOIN YOU IN CERBERUS.  Let’s keep a FUCK YOU CERBERUS count going to remember all the horrible shit we SAW Cerberus do in ME1 to remind ourselves why Ashley or Kaidan is the only SANE ONE for going “No, sorry, I’m not joining you in Cerberus.”
Deep breath
OK, let’s go get Liara.
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Wrex comes with us to Therum.
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Dear Lord, Therum is gorgeous.
This is real nice just a pleasant day on this thresher maw-less planet and great scenery, we’ll find that asari scientist in no ti--- WHAT THE HELL IS THAT?
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Have I mentioned how everything is fine lately?
Well it’s time for how I deal with most of the geth while in the Mako...
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Armatures are worth five points each!
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Rocket troopers are only two points, but I got a lot of them!
Stopping and fighting in the Mako takes way too long.  Push on through all the way til we’re stopped.
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Hm, this is the one I should push, right?
*crickets*
Fine.
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Just... real pretty.
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I love this part of Therum right here.  A really great, scary fight that feels so dangerous, but winnable.  Great level design, too.
Then this happens.
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Does everyone’s hair do that in this cutscene, or just mine, or this hairstyle?
Also, ME3 has a mod now that lets chracters use their correct weapons in cutscenes, my eternal devotion to the modder who could do that in ME1.  None of these characters use assault rifles in-game!!
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I’m fairly certain I have played and replayed this fight more than any other in ME1.  AKA RUN FOR COVER OH SHIT AVOID THE BOMBS AND LASERS FLYING AT YOU AT ONCE PLEASE DON’T DIE COMPANIONS PLEASE KILL SOMETHING I CAN’T DO THIS ON MY OWN AHHHHH!!! 
This time around, I died my first time, actually did really well the second time, and decided to go back and record the fight for gifs and... won, barely.  The gifs would not be good.  Wrex and Kaidan didn’t last long. 
Anyway, It’s a great cutscene, but hoo boy I wish it were skippable.
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Okay but what were these ruins *for*.  Also, real lucky that they had the boss fight way up here instead of down where Liara was.
Speaking of Liara...
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Hello Doctor T’soni!
I have a lot of questions like... how long have you been in that bubble?  How are you sustaining it that long?  How long has it been since you’ve eaten?  If I didn’t come get you until after Virmire, would you have been holding that bubble up for the weeks in between then and now?  
Ah well, you’re here now, and I suppose I’m going to owe you my life later so... welcome to the team.
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You gotta admit that’s one badass entrance, though uh, if the forcefield is still up, where did he come from?  Doesn’t matter.  Wrex, let’s kill us one of your brethren (sorry.)
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I’ll just *assume* that Liara is too tired from holding up her stasis bubble she was in to actually be USEFUL.
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I love the chaos of running the fuck out of there.
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Texture popping is still an issue even with a decent computer and texture packs, but at least it’s quick now.
Also I really feel the loss of this conference room in the future games.  The awkward oval table never quite feels the same.  But also, uh, this is a lot of room taken up in this small ship for eight chairs and a holoprojector.  You gotta think there’s more uses for this space than just that.
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But yeah, I love these check-ins, it’s a chance for everyone to get together and really hash out what’s going on, as well as reinforcing the plot to the players in a more natural way.  Having Liara this early will let us understand the Protheans better at an earlier stage, even if it turns out she’s wrong about some stuff (though at the time this was written, she was right for all everyone knew.)
Wrex and Garrus don’t talk much here, probably because you can make it through the game without one of them.  I did a “didn’t recruit Garrus” playthrough in ME2 once.  They change like one or two lines then Garrus goes back to talking about Old Times.  So like you CAN, but you really shouldn’t not recruit Garrus, because Bioware didn’t do a great job changing anything aside from your initial greeting during the Omega Archangel mission.
Not recruiting Wrex, though.  Wow that’ll have consequences later on.
OK!  So the gang’s all here, and this post is already very long.  Next time: Let’s go talk to everyone for awhile, and do a few more sidequests because we can’t go back to the Citadel til our persuasion is high enough to grind Mikhailovich’s arguments into the dust!
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aion-rsa · 7 years
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Men of Steel: 15 Superheroes That Are Metal AF
As we all know, there’s no such thing as the average superhero. They come in a whole range of shapes, sizes and skill sets. But if there’s one thing that’s guaranteed to make the super-powered even more super, it’s a healthy dose of good old-fashioned METAL.
RELATED: Straight Fire: The Hottest Heroes in Comics
After all, who wants to wear lurid-colored spandex and fight with their bare hands when they could be rocking a flying armored suit, a prosthetic gun-arm, or wielding adamantium claws the size of their face? Luckily for us, there are quite a few metal dudes out there who know the correlation between metal and mettle. That’s why CBR has put together a list of the most metal superheroes ever put to paper… cue epic guitar solo!
IRON MAN
Let’s be honest, what makes Iron Man so “metal” is his super-powered exoskeleton, so really it’s the armor that deserves all the attention in this entry (although he did build it, so kudos is still in order!). However, the appearance and on-board functions of Iron Man’s suit differ from comic to comic, as Stark often undertakes modifications or designs specialized  for specific purposes, so it’s hard to talk about as a single entity.
Still, pretty much every reincarnation of Stark’s armor shares some characteristics with Don Heck and Jack Kirby’s original 1963 design: it gives Iron Man enhanced strength and protects him from attack using a forcefield, enables him to fly at great speed, and comes equipped with an impressive on-board weapons system, communication tools and sensors. All this makes Iron Man a certifiable metal badass, whatever version of the suit he’s wearing!
CBR reckons James Rhodes (War Machine/Iron Patriot) deserves an honorable mention here also, as he uses similar technology to fight and fly, and has worn the Iron Man armor on several occasions, like when Stark relapsed into alcoholism in “Iron Man” #170 and supposedly died in “Iron Man” #284. Keep it heavy, Rhodey!
WOLVERINE
As everyone already knows by now — and if not, where exactly have you been for the last 40 years — Wolverine was chosen as a candidate for the Weapon X project because of his mutant healing factor, but that’s not really a contest anyone would want to win. The prize was having his entire skeleton fused with unbreakable adamantium, turning him into a barbaric killing machine… and, eventually, a hero.
Of course, back in 1993, Wolvie had the adamantium ripped out of him by Magneto in the “Fatal Attractions” crossover event. Unbeknownst to Logan, or anyone else, he had bone claws beneath… which is still pretty damn metal, honestly. A few years later, in “Wolverine” #145, it was revealed that none other than Apocalypse replaced that adamantium to make a brainwashed Wolverine more dangerous again.
Metal bones or not, Logan was still killable, and eventually died in the “Death of Wolverine” arc (beginning in “Wolverine” Vol.5 #5), ironically being suffocated in a coating of adamantium. His legacy lives on in the form of his clone, X-23, who kicks serious amounts of ass, despite having her claws in all the wrong places. The king is dead, long live the queen!
MERCURY
Okay, so Cessily Kincaid might be one of the newer kids on the block (having first appeared in “New Mutants” Vol.2 #2 in August 2003), but she’s already proven she can hold her own in a fight and deserves her place among the metal heavyweights. If you’re not convinced, bear in mind she was part of the Hellions Squad while at Xavier’s Institute, a title which just screams “metal!”
As her name suggests, Mercury’s body is composed of a highly pliable non-toxic metal,which she can reshape or solidify at will. Thanks to the molecular cohesion power of her metallic DNA, she can cling to solid surfaces and move her body without external propulsion. Cooler still, in “New X-Men: Childhood’s End” #1, she demonstrated that having her hands cut off is really no biggie… it just helps her “lose a few pounds.”
She’s had a troubled life and probably wished she’d been stripped off her powers by Scarlet Witch during the 2005 “Decimation” crossover event, but CBR is glad that Marvel allowed her to retain her mutant skill and continue kicking X amounts of ass.
ARCHANGEL
Warren Kenneth Worthington III is quite literally a dark angel… well, okay, he’s a morally-questionable mutant born with wings, but that’s just semantics. What makes Archangel so “metal,” isn’t just his disposition, but the steam-punky techno-organic wings he acquired after the feathery ones he was born with were damaged and eventually ripped off by one of his foes. Worthington reappeared soon after this accident, though, bigger and more kickass than ever in “X-Factor” #24, complete with a brand-new look thanks, not for the first time in this list, to Apocalypse making him his new horseman, Death.
This revamp gave him increased powers, including the ability to shoot blades from his wings with tips coated in a potent neurotoxin to paralyze his enemies. Later, he develops a “bloodthirsty subconscious” that drives his wings to act of their own accord on occasion, as confirmed in “Uncanny X-Men” #293. If that doesn’t have you convinced, then how about the fact that he tried to destroy humanity by way of apocalypse in the “Dark Angel Saga”? Any being that powerful deserves a mention on this list of the greatest metal heroes.
JOCASTA
Jocasta is basically the metallic equivalent of Frankenstein’s Bride. Designed by the evil Ultron to be his mate (sex doll alert!), but rebelling against her maker to fight for the good guys, she’s since become an honorary member of the Avengers and part of the staff faculty team at their Academy. So why is Jocasta so “metal”? Well, apart from the obvious — y’know, having a body composed of titanium — she’s blessed with superhuman strength, speed, stamina, reflexes and intelligence, and can withstand most physical or energy-based attacks.
She’s also immune to disease, doesn’t need food, water or oxygen, and can easily survive in the vacuum of space. We’ve also saved the best for last… she can shoot electromagnetic energy beams from her eyes! CBR doesn’t really want to know what Ultron had in mind when he gave her the power to do that! She’s not without her quirks, though. In “Marvel Zombies” Vol.5 #4, she turns humankind into a bunch of flesh-eating monsters to prevent them getting robotic upgrades and endangering her status as their mechanical overlord. Yikes! Maybe she’s a little too “metal”…
STEEL
John Henry Irons, otherwise known as Steel, first appeared in “The Adventures of Superman” #500 in 1993 as a relatively normal man with a super-powered robotic suit. Named after an African-American folk hero, Irons may have been a normal man before his metal upgrade, but his will was always ironclad. Working in construction during the “Death of Superman,” Irons tried to help Supes against Doomsday using only a sledgehammer before he was covered in tons of rubble. He then designed his famous suit, to honor the original Man of Steel.
That all changed when Lex Luthor tampered with his DNA as part of the Everyman Project, transforming him into a being entirely composed of stainless steel. This made him incredibly strong and durable, and also for some reason gave him the power to liquefy metal by producing intense levels of heat (weird, but useful). Steel could even turn himself into a super-powered puddle if he wanted to, although why he’d want to is another question entirely. Unfortunately for Irons these powers weren’t to last, as his metal outer coating gradually peeled off to reveal human skin beneath. Even so, he remains as steely as ever, always ready to join the fight if he’s needed.
THE METAL MEN
The Metal Men are a group of super-powered robots that debuted in “Showcase” #37 back in the Silver Age. Don’t let their fun look fool you: they’re a powerful bunch of odd-bolts. Each robot was designed by mad scientist Dr. Will Magnus with powers and personalities to emulate their namesake metals.
The team’s leader, Gold, can soften and stretch his body to immense proportions, and his female counterpart Platinum can flatten herself out so she’s incredibly thin (because apparently that’s all girls care about, according to creator Robert Kanigher). As the resident hot-head, Mercury can melt down and liquefy, whereas Iron is the strong, steadfast type. Lead’s a bit thick — geddit? — but can repel radiation by morphing into a shield. And Tin just sort of holds things and spins around a lot. But hey, no team’s perfect!
As part of a 1993-1994 retcon in “Metal Men” Vol.2 #1-4, Dr. Magnus got a metal upgrade after being fatally wounded, becoming the team’s new leader after Gold’s death and assuming the identity Veridium. They’ve only had a minimal impact during the “New 52” reboot, but these loveable metal heroes are sure to return soon.
COMMANDER STEEL
There’ve been three incarnations of Commander Steel (otherwise known as Citizen or Captain Steel) since the metal-clad hero first appeared in “Steel, The Indestructible Man” #1 back in 1978. Interestingly, each Steel hails from the same family. Now there’s some good genes! The first was a WWII hero that took on Nazis, but it’s his super-powered grandsons that intrigue CBR most of all, at least for the purposes of this list.
Both wield superhuman strength and wear metallic bodysuits, allowing them to withstand devastating blows from a powerful opponent without leaving a scratch. However, this power does have its challenges — being able to put things down properly, for instance, and leaving cracks in pavements because the suit’s so heavy (a small price to pay!). In “Justice Society of America” #15, it was explained that the suit actually keeps Steel’s abilities in check. So, the more naked he gets, the more powerful he becomes? That’s“metal” enough for us!
VISION
Just to clarify: when we say Vision, we’re not talking about the original, green-skinned alien dreamed up by Joe Simon and Jack Kirby in the 1940s. Ohhh, no. After Stan Lee and Roy Thomas decided to make Vision a super-powered synthezoid in “The Avengers” #57, this particular hero got a helluva lot more “metal.” Vibranium metal, to be precise… at least in the MCU.
Like Jocasta, Vision was originally created by Ultron, but unlike her, he was designed as a straight-up death machine with enough firepower to take on the Avengers single-handed. So, what can he do? It might be easier to describe what he can’t do. As a walking, talking supercomputer, Vision is gifted with superior intelligence and the ability to take control of any technology he chooses, including the world’s nuclear weapons systems. He can also alter his density and mass, going from a floaty ghost to impenetrable fortress-man in seconds. He is, without question, one of the most powerful Avengers of all time, and definitely metal AF.
SILVER SURFER
The Silver Surfer is a super-powered humanoid covered in an otherworldly metallic coating who rides through the galaxy on a shiny cosmic surfboard heralding the apocalypse. Of course he’s going to be on this list! Thanks to his ability to wield the Power Cosmic, his power range is insane: his surfboard allows him to journey through interstellar space, move through time, and even take others along for the ride (as seen in “The Silver Surfer” #6). On top of that, he can convert matter into energy, meaning he doesn’t need food, water, air or sleep and can survive anywhere, even within a black hole. Oh, and did we mention he can produce cosmic bolts powerful enough to destroy a planet? Heroes don’t come much more “metal” than this!
The Surfer has proven himself to be a menace at times, battling other heroes under misguided assumptions (like Thor in “Silver Surfer” #4) or being tricked into using his powers for sport (as seen in “Incredible Hulk” Vol.3 #95). However, the Silver Surfer proved his worth when he overcame Galactus’ brainwashing and saved Earth from impending doom, and has since fought to defend the Marvel Universe on countless occasions alongside the Fantastic Four and the Defenders.
COLOSSUS
No list of hard-hitting metal heroes would be complete without Colossus, the unstoppable mutant who’s able to transform his entire body into super-strong organic steel armor. His superhuman strength, stamina and durability arguably make him one of the toughest X-Men of all, even more so after Magneto realigned his cells as part of the 1986 “Mutant Massacre” crossover event.
Although he’s a superb hand-to-hand combatant, so his ability to attack shouldn’t be sniffed at, what’s most impressive about Colossus are his defensive capabilities. Shoot him with a rocket launcher, throw him off a 100-storey building, hit him with a magical attack, and hey presto, he’s fine! When he took over from Juggernaut as the unstoppable Avatar of Cyttorak, Colossus was also pretty much impervious to injury and had the power to ignore any impediment to his movement, no matter the size or density. Any man who can power through almost anything and come out unscathed on the other side is pretty damn “metal” in our eyes!
CABLE
It wouldn’t be unreasonable to suggest that Chris Claremont’s mega-cyborg creation, Cable, who started out in “New Mutants” #87, is a veiled Terminator rip-off. Bulging muscles and blazing guns? Check. Elaborate back story involving time travel and alternative timelines? Check. Creepy red laser eye? Check. However, he’s since become a fan favorite and, perhaps as a result of that, is now one of the most fully-realized X-Men characters of the modern era.
As well as being one of the coolest-looking characters on the list, he’s also probably one of the most formidable: sure, his biomechanical arm and cybernetic eye make him stronger, tougher and enhance his field of vision, but don’t forget, he’s also a powerful mutant with a highly sought-after lineage (Cyclops and a Jean Grey clone? Jackpot!) gifted with telekinetic and telepathic abilities.
We here at CBR wouldn’t be doing our jobs if we didn’t also give a shout out to the Winter Soldier and on-off Captain America, Bucky Barnes, who also rocks an enhanced cybernetic arm that gives him super-strength and lightning-fast reflexes. Plus, unlike Cable, Bucky can operate his arm remotely via mental implant when it’s detached… but is that cooler than a super-arm from the future? You decide!
X-O MANOWAR
Aric of Dacia is a 5th-century barbarian Visigoth who managed to turn the tables on his alien abductors by taking control of one of their greatest weapons, the X-O Manowar armor. That should earn the darling of Valiant Comics considerable kudos in itself, but Manowar’s soooo much more than a time-and-space travelling super-thief.
Upon finding his way back to Earth and discovering that he’s been gone for about 1,600 years (because of time-space relativity and stuff), he made quite a show of his abilities, which include enhanced strength, speed and reflexes, invulnerability, halted ageing and accelerated healing, flight, X-ray vison, energy manipulation and, because creators Jim Shooter and Bob Layton really wanted to throw the kitchen sink at him, teleportation, technopathy and ESP, as well. He was already a ferocious warrior, so all this extra metal borders on overkill. The character was later reimagined in 2012 by Robert Venditti and Cary Nord for the Valiant relaunch in “X-O Manowar,” but his powers are largely the same: he’s still very much meant for war!
CYBORG
Vic Stone proves that you can’t keep a good guy down in the comic book world… especially when his parents have got a load of high-tech mechanical parts lying around at S.T.A.R. labs, just waiting to be claimed. After his body was mangled in a terrible accident — originally caused by a rampaging space-monster in the pre-New 52 universe, but later retconned in “Justice League” Vol.2 #2 to incorporate the Mother Box explosion — Stone became Cyborg, a part-man part-machine mash up that’s so “metal” it hurts.
His cybernetic enhancements give him superhuman strength, endurance and durability, enable flight and enhance his vision and hearing. He can release concentrated blasts of sound from his “sonic cannon” that are potent enough to shatter rock or deform steel. Oh, and he’s also got lasers in his fingers and a grappling hook if, y’know, all that flying around gets boring. As if all that wasn’t cool enough, Cyborg acquired a boatload of new skills during the New 52 revamp and can now assimilate with other technology, shapeshift, emit EMP blasts covering a 50-meter radius and teleport his super friends around using a Boom Tube. This is one metal man you don’t wanna mess with!
MAGNETO
Whoa, what a curve ball! The most “metal” superhero here isn’t metallically augmented at all. He does, however, have the capacity to manipulate it on a superhuman scale using magnetic fields, meaning he could probably take everyone on this list and win without even breaking a sweat. Now that we mention it, he does have an unfortunate habit of switching sides… but isn’t that half the fun of being an anti-hero?
Magneto’s magnetic powers extend right down to the atomic level (which makes sense when you think about it, given that electromagnetic force is responsible for chemical bonding), meaning he can manipulate chemical structures and rearrange matter with the power of his mutant mind. He can also use his magnetism as a kind of force-field that can selectively block out certain types of matter and energy that’s powerful enough to withstand the simultaneous detonation of multiple thermonuclear weapon blasts.
Throw in hardened telepathic resistance with or without the helmet, powers of astral projection and flight, and the ability to wield Thor’s hammer by manipulating its metallic properties (at least in the late Ultimate Universe, during “Ultimates” Vol.3 #5), and it makes for a pretty unsurpassable opponent. Magneto wins, hands down!
Are there any other metal heroes you think should have made our list? Let us know in the comments!
The post Men of Steel: 15 Superheroes That Are Metal AF appeared first on CBR.com.
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