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inspector-montoya-fox · 2 years

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Ok my internet friends and enemies, it’s time to rank the villains’ motives for being villains. To no one’s surprise, I won’t be including Le Paradox because he’d automatically take the number 1 spot, I thought it’d be unfair to the other entries. Nothing trumps some classic nonsensicality, y’know. So let’s take a look:

12. Boredom - Sir Raleigh

At the bottom of my list is boredom. Because we all feel it and those long afternoons of having nothing to do most definitely warrant you to go out, engineer a giant whale machine for whatever the fuck, and become a modern day pirate basically. Raleigh 100% earns sympathy points. The froggy privilege here is so yuck, I can’t even explain. As if he wasn’t already rich like... trash. Garbage.

11. Pollution & Testosterone - Jean Bison

This guy went for a hike, got crashed by an avalanche, and woke up decades later to hold a grudge against nature for being frozen? You do understand that the ice literally saved your life, right? I mean, good for him for still staying motivated after so many years of being an icicle but chopping down trees? It’s a big no no. I love how bison are actually herbivores, so the idiot is literally just throwing out food.

10. Incel-ism - General Tsao & LeFwee

This entry making it into the top 10 by no means makes it valid. The lengths these two are willing to go just to get the girl is honestly frighteningly accurate. Tsao literally unearths a dragon, vampires, and ghosts in order to protect his forced marriage. And not once does he compliment Jing King in the process, like he probably doesn’t even like her ??? Instead of self-reflecting, perhaps going to therapy, these two prefer to lead a life of crime. Also, the fact that Tsao, who can’t get a woman to fall in love with him, is a huge cock. This shit writes itself, seriously.

9. Being Old ??? idk - Don Octavio

This is the last insanely bad one on the list but holy shit does this one make little to zero sense. Look, I’ve felt old at times. It’s not really nice when you talk about growing up watching Jungle Book on VHS and someone asks what VHS is. I’m 22 bitch not 982 look it up. Did people not knowing what VHS is make me want to blow up half of Venice and pollute its waters? It did not. What did the poor helpless fish do to you? Like why ???? There are people who still enjoy opera like I’m pretty sure Don Octavio didn’t even look for a new audience/ target demographic after the initial ticket sale drop. First not outsold gig and this bitch went to the Italian mafia to look for help.

8. Financial Gain - Dimitri

Crime for money is so zzz snooze fest, late 90s/ early 00s Powerpuff Girls villain, The Dark Knight opening scene but not really because that wasn’t really the point of it... that being said, it’s not lower on the list because I often think of what I’d do if I lived a life of wealth and luxury. Crime as a source of income is not fully respectable but not an abysmal motive like boredom for example. And I fully understand how Dimitri’s occupation as an artist could lead to him being in need for money - it’s tough as many of y’all already know. On the other hand, minus points for potentially causing inflation with his counterfeit operation.

7. Childhood Trauma + Rejection - Muggshot, Mz Ruby & Panda King

Boy do I feel for them. Probably the most relatable entry on the list because everyone has experienced this in one way or another. It’s not their fault society spat in their faces. The first game was out there trying to make a point about bullying’s long term effects with 3/5 of its villains displaying so. Does it justify their crimes? No. But lowkey good for them, I hope they’re thriving in prison.

6. Immortality - Neyla

Getting down to the big ones now. I’m happy SP scrapped their initial plan of making Neyla Rajan’s daughter because that might have made her a bit more humane or explained her motivations a bit better. But as it is, she’s batshit crazy. She loves no one, that’s why she doesn’t care about being immortal and witnessing everyone die around her. Her motive fits in with her plan so well, it’s so simple and yet so effective. The reason it’s not higher on the list is because immortality has been done so many times before and there was no new spin or anything. Her plan and her character are top-notch examples of writing, but, as much as I adore her being trigger-happy and un’inged with no villain origins or explanation, I would still like some sort of hint to it. She’s like the Joker of the series, an absolute enigma.

5. In Search for a (New) Body - Arpeggio & The Mask of Dark Earth

Is it stupid to think that we’ve all experienced some dissatisfaction with our appearance in the past? Even a single instance of any form of body dysmorphia? Maybe it’s a bit exaggerated of a claim but even so, I do feel for these two. Muggshot, Mz Ruby and Panda King experienced bullying because of stuff that was different but could change, like their interests and fitness. But body type and size isn’t adaptable like that. I do think Arpeggio took it to a bit of an extreme but that just shows the hurt he has over being smaller than the average bird. It’s sad how he was unable to embrace the permanence of his size, like he could be the Danny Devito of the series but eh whatever.

4. Misogyny - Penelope

Do I even need to explain this one? Girlboss. What a legend.

3. Something Too Complicated for Us Simple-Minded Fools - Rajan & The Contessa

I’ve tried to wrap my head around the motive for these two and I have failed. Rajan was initially in the financial gain entry but then I thought, he’s already rich? Same goes for the Contessa, who steals her prisoners’ hidden loot but is already a wealthy widow? The way these two carry themselves, what they say and the way they say it, as well as their crimes, just indicates that they think they have a higher purpose. And maybe they do, like maybe furry God spoke to them and told them they were meant for more. Sure, they were both underlings for Arpeggio, and in the end Neyla, but their side-hustles are so bizarre. I’m referring to Rajan’s reason for having the Clockwerk heart on his staff and the Contessa’s psychoanalysis of Sly. I’m like ????

2. Good Ol’ Revenge - Dr M

I know I said Neyla’s was overdone and it doesn’t get more overdone than revenge, but this one nabs the second spot because it initially starts as ‘Dr M is so evil he’s trying to open the Cooper Vault !!’ and then the way Dr Martin explains it makes us think he was actually the victim. And of course he was the victim. He was playing second fiddle to Connor and in the end got nothing. We practically know nothing about Sly’s dad but I choose to believe that he was the absolute worst, and that more than justifies Dr Milo’s motive. And I’m in love with stories that portray the protégé being blindly naive until they realise they’re fighting for an invalid cause. Except this never happens and Dr Mustafa dies, and I felt really bad for him like he and Sly should’ve negotiated something along the lines of splitting the Cooper Vault’s loot ?? He deserved better for sure because, unlike Muggshot, Mz Ruby and Panda King, he didn’t stray away from his path of revenge. He was solely interested in cracking open the vault like no world domination, no nothing (apart from maybe fusing innocent civilians together to make monsters).

1. Pure Hatred - Clockwerk

It doesn’t get any more evil than this. Clockwerk is the perfect balance between Neyla and Dr Matthew’s motives because it’s so ambiguous but we also receive little clues along the way. Frankly, we don’t know what kicked off the feud between him and the Coopers, but we know it’s spanned for centuries and his dialogue hints that it’s something more personal than just ‘i wanna kill an entire lineage of raccoons’. It’s up for interpretation but it makes him such an excellent villain. Like it’s pure hate, it’s uncontrollable and it’s such a big grudge that it’s been eternal. There’s no other crimes like illegal spice distribution or financial gain. He’s solely focused on destroying Sly and he’s assembled a team for it, he’s stolen the Thievius Raccoonus, and he’s built the most evil lair there is. Number 1 undoubtedly.

#incel-ism #sly cooper

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sunnysaylorboy · 4 years

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my opinion on/a surprisingly passionate defense of Mulan (2020) (SPOILERS)

I’ve seen a lot of ppl ragging on the new Mulan for so many reasons, so I will go over why these (mostly) are stupid reasons and why I love the new movie.

1. Liu Yifei supporting the Hong Kong police. Now this is not a stupid reason, this is valid. I am an East Asian studies major, and as much as I love Disney, when I first heard the news I knew I could not watch Mulan (2020) in good conscience. It went against everything I have learned in my studies, and everything I believe. However, now I am almost positive Liu Yifei was forced to make those comments- I've seen several sources saying so recently. You can look for these sources on your own, because this isn’t the whole point of my post, but I think it's true. A movie about a woman defying her government and social expectations of the time? Hong Kong citizens could absolutely use her as a symbol for protesting against China. It makes sense that the government would take preventative measures before this could happen. But anyways, I was not planning on watching Mulan (2020) until I found out that what she said was most likely fake/forced.

2. The removal of Mushu. Yes, I too miss Mushu but I completely understand why they did that. A lot of ppl make these sort of complaints about the live action remakes not using humor in the same way as the original, but that’s bc it doesn’t translate well. Humor in animated movies is exaggerated or silly, and it works in that medium but if you do the exact same in a live action film, it will come off as too slapstick. Think Will Ferrell in Elf (still a good movie). Mushu’s whole character is based off of this humor that appeals more to kids, and it would have really made the dialogue with him super cringey. and I know if they made him a more serious supportive character people would've complained about that too, so I understand why they did it.

3. The removal of Li Shang. I miss our bisexual boy too, but I actually think they did a really great job with the new guy Honghui. The directors removed Li Shang because he is in a sense, Mulan’s boss, and they felt that it was too much like the #MeToo movement, which I applaud. At first I was upset that supposedly this new character would be a jerk to Mulan until he found out she was a girl, but that's not what happened in the film fortunately. Honghui and Mulan start off on the wrong foot but they grow as comrades and sort-of friends, and Honghui is the first to stick by Mulan’s side when she reveals who she is. Even if there aren’t as many signals of him being bi, I think they progressed their relationship nicely. (I was sorta hoping for a kiss at the end though).

4. Mulan’s “chi.” Apparently people do not like that Mulan already has a sort of warrior streak inside of her already, as opposed to the 1998 version where she struggles to get used to the army. I think this is an overgeneralization. Mulan does struggle to become a soldier, as we can see in the training montage. Similar to the pole and the arrow at the top, she cannot reach the top of the mountain carrying the buckets with her arms outstretched like everyone else at first- then when she manages to do it, she knows she has proven herself. Plus, I like that they gave her more character. We don’t see any of Mulan’s childhood years in the original, so it is a little hard to understand why she is such an outcast. She only had one incident with the matchmaker and suddenly she is questioning her identity. But the 2020 version establishes that Mulan has been different from the start and everyone has known it since then. It makes it more believable that she brings dishonor on her family so easily. And just because she has strong chi doesn’t necessarily mean she is already a warrior. She is told to hide her chi as a child, and she does not tap into it easily- her commanding officers can sense something is holding her back. She is special, yes, but she isn’t “the chosen one.” She still works hard and she still relies a lot on her strategy instead of brute force just like in the animated version.

5. Lack of musical numbers. I do miss the musical numbers. But they did well with incorporating the musical themes from the original into the movie. The little “Honor to Us All” theme playing while she gets ready for the matchmaker? Perfect. The bit of “Reflection” playing when she reaches the top of mountain? Beautiful. And “Reflection” playing at the end when she is recognized as a hero? I was bawling. Also, this isn’t the first remake that Disney hasn’t made as a musical- the 2015 Cinderella did not include “A Dream is a Wish Your Heart Makes,” (except in the credits like Mulan did), or “Bibbidi-Bobbido-Boo,” or “So This is Love.” I know that Cinderella is an older movie and may not be as beloved to this generation as Mulan, but those song are still incredibly iconic to the Disney brand and I didn't see anyone complaining about those songs being removed. Idk, I don’t think it’s a big enough deal to be upset over it, especially because they included instrumentals of the songs for the live-action version.

6. The addition of the witch. I can’t believe people are complaining about the personification of the hawk from the first movie- seriously, watch the remake and you’ll see how great Xian Liang’s character is. I love the parallels drawn between her and Mulan. Despite fighting for opposite sides, she sees herself in Mulan, and Mulan sees how she might end up if she had chosen the route of evil. I think they did it wonderfully and I’m definitely not gay for Gong Li...

7. The cost. This one, I understand. $30 is a lot to pay for a movie, but I get it because they’re losing money from not going to theaters for a few months. I paid the $30 because I felt like I had waited long enough to see it, I was foaming at the mouth the night of its release, and I had $30 I was willing to spend on it. Ofc Disney is a multi-million dollar company, so I don’t begrudge anyone pirating it bc screw capitalism.

I just had to get this off my chest because so many criticisms of this film seem so unjustified, weak, or deliberately negative. I swear, not just with Mulan, I see so many people who hate the live-action remakes- it’s like they’re trying to find things to hate about them, and I'm frankly getting sick of it. Like damn bitch why you gotta be so negative about everything?? The acting is great, the music is phenomenal and timeless, the costumes are so extravagant, the action sequences make you hold your breath in anticipation... y'all will find anything to whine about and I'm TIRED. And it seems like some of y'all are purposefully ignoring WHY they made these changes. These changes were made to adhere to the Legend of Mulan more closely, to make up for some of the racial insensitivity/cultural inaccuracies in the original, and to appeal to their Asian audience. the 1998 version is a VERY Americanized way to tell they story- so stop complaining, you got “your version” that appeals to you.

Some things I loved were

1. Mulan’s sister. It’s not often we see Disney princesses with siblings. Even though she didn’t have much screen time, I loved Xiu and the relationship she had with Mulan.

2. The phoenix symbolism. In Mulan (1998), there is heavy dragon symbolism as Mulan is preparing to run away to the army. This insinuates that Mulan is the dragon, the protector of the family, and that is why the Great Stone Dragon doesn’t awaken later. In this version, she is instead guarded and represented by a phoenix. In Chinese mythology (correct me if I'm wrong), the phoenix stands for yin and yang, harmony and is often the female counterpart to the dragon. The wings specifically represent duty, which is why the wings of the phoenix spread behind Mulan when she saves the emperor singlehandedly. Though I don’t know if they intended this, in Greek mythology the phoenix is a symbol of death and rebirth. Mulan is reborn again as Hua Jun, but ultimately in this version she is not discovered as a girl, she chooses to fight as one. The moment she does, “Hua Jun died, and Mulan was born again,” as she sees the phoenix once more. Mulan is the phoenix, and she brings harmony after defeating the Rourans. It’s beautiful.

3. The avalanche scene. A lot of the battle scene was different, but I loved that they kept in the avalanche from the original. Mulan’s planning in this one shows how big her brain is, and how well her strategy works.

4. Xian Liang and Honghui. As I already mentioned, I really loved how they portrayed these characters.

5. The fight scenes. God they really got the perfect actress to play Mulan. Liu Yifei leaning back to avoid an arrow from a Rouran? Impeccable. Mulan’s display of her techniques when she and Honghui get into it when they’re supposed to be practicing? So cool.

All in all, I loved this movie just like I love all of the other Disney princess live-action remakes. Disney obviously spent a lot of money on the action sequences, the costumes, the backgrounds, the historical accuracies, the casting, the storyline, everything is amazing. I will definitely be watching again.

#this is definitely like a rant only slightly organized #mulan #a defense of mulan #mulan 2020 #my post #my posts

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caemthe-a · 5 years

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Some differences and similarities ( in physical appearance ) between Myth Cú and Fate Cú

So I know I like to joke about all of the Fate Cú Chulainn’s character design and their terrible fashion sense but, in all honesty, and surprisingly, they aren’t that far away from the truth in a couple aspects. Though in another ( and the most important from my point of view ) ones, they completely missed the point. But the only thing I’m 100% certain about is that here is that it’s practically impossible to come up with a character design that is faithful to the original because, for starters, Cú Chulainn’s appearance is never the same when he’s described and it’s not even a minor contradiction like saying he had one hair color in one story and another similar color in the next one, I’m talking about from going of ‘melancholic, dark, short, pale’ to ‘this freaking kid had 3 different hair colors! and also 7 bright, red dragon-like pupils! and also !!!!’ Listen, I love it.

Alright, so now that I mentioned how ??? was Cú, these are the constant characteristics that Myth Cú had and how Fate Cú is either a bit similar or if we were robbed.

Myth Cú was tiny! Extremely tiny! The tiniest tiny that ever tiny! Just a little hound, a Cúcuc, a little lad, a little deer... Like I joke you not, this guy was a smol and this is something Fate and a lot of other modern media that have their own Cú refuse to acknowledge, which I find incredibly terrible because, despite being depicted as the manly protagonist of the story, his appearance was that of a small, pretty, beardless boy. Yes, Cú has always been very anime. And this is important because his youthful, ‘unmanly’ appearance was the reason why Cú had to constantly prove himself as a capable warrior and something that caused conflict ( that end with murder -thank you, Cú, never change- ) in his tales. Also, this is probably why he was angry and throwing hands all the goddammed time, the guy was practically a chihuahua.

The only possible explanation I can think of why any of the Fate Cú is above the 1.80m is that he got so tired of being mocked for his short height is that, when given the opportunity, he decided to make himself appear at least one whole foot taller than what he actually was. Ritsuka vc: Weren’t you supposed to be a short guy? Cú Chulainn vc: NO! I’VE NEVER EVER BEEN SHORT IN MY LIFE! WHO’S THROWING THIS SLANDER-?!

Myth Cú was beautifulTM! Alright, so all the Fate Cú are very handsome ( uwuwuwu ) but handsome isn’t the same as beautiful and Fate doesn’t put much emphasis on how beautiful Cú actually was unlike the Myth version. So the thing is that Cú had this youthful, ethereal and somewhat feminine appearance and that he was beautifulTM. But just how beautifulTM was Cú? I already mentioned on other posts that he was so beautiful that the men of Ulster feared that he would ‘steal their wives and ruin their daughters’, but also was so beautiful that people would go *sighs dreamily* whenever he walked near them. He was so beautiful that one time when he put on a festive attire, the women were climbing on top the men because they also wanted to look at that limited edition Cú. He was so beautiful that a fomorian ( or pirate ) that had arrived to take a princess as his slave also looked at Cú and spontaneously decided that would take him as well ( but no worries, Cú murdered the guy a minute after ).

And this is when things get a little creepy! He was so beautiful that Uathach, Scathach’s daughter, was practically heavy-breathing outside his door while he slept. And he was so beautiful that staring at him too much could make you go mad and curse you so staring at the pretty boy wasn’t very wise. He got plenty of undesired attention which kind of lead him to his death tbh. So maybe... that wasn’t a good thing.

Myth Cú was an Eldritch Abomination! But Liri, wasn’t Cú Chulainn supposed to be beautifulTM? Yeah... listen, monster-fuckers are valid and deserve rights. So the thing is that Cú could do this very cool thing that was called the ríastrad, which was some kind of battle frenzy in which he went absolutely feral and killed everything in sight and he was very, very angry and his body temperature skyrocketed to the point where he could evaporate water when it came in contact with his skin, and he bleed and he SCREAMED and also his insides turned outside so it was a very fun thing.

Though I already mentioned at the start that in a couple cases that his not-ríastrad appearance isn’t consistent in the stories but in some of them he supposedly has dark hair and very odd and bright eyes. Fate kind of got that right. Fate Cú’s eyes are red, which isn’t technically wrong because it’s a bright color; and his hair is ‘naturally’ blue, which, again, not wrong because it’s a dark color. And while it’s far from the ( sometimes ) real Eldritch-like appearance of Myth Cú, it does serve the purpose of showing that Cú’s appearance wasn’t that of a human or natural. After all, he was a monster demigod! Also, bonus points for the sharp teeth and cute fang because honestly who doesn’t love them?

Myth Cú had... an interesting fashion sense? Listen, I don’t know how to word this but... uhh.... sometimes Myth dressed normally but other times he used plenty of layers of armor and clothing and sometimes 20+ shirts. Why? I suppose he wanted to look broader ( and less tiny ) ? The funny thing is that sometimes Emer helped him dress up so I can’t help it but assume that neither Emer or Cú knew what the fuck they were doing or how one is supposed to dress for a battle or what the hell is happening, someone save them. Proto Cú got that ‘too many layers of clothing’ thing right to a certain degree so kudos for him. And we all know of the neon Hawaiian shirt + leather pants combo and many other things and it’s exactly what Cú Chulainn would’ve wanted. So I’m pretty it wasn’t intentional but Fate kind of hit the target here.

But what about the blue spandex? Why does FSN Cú look like a stripper dipped in blue paint? Alright, so!!! Polybius and Diodorus Siculus pointed out that some celtic tribes preferred to fight naked as it gave them a boost of confidence, thought it gave them an advantage over the armored ( and therefore slower ) enemy, and it also was highly intimidating. The blue paint came from berries. Since Fate couldn’t make Cú walk around completely naked, blue spandex was the next closest thing? I kind of get it but Myth Cú would’ve rather use 20+ shirts.

And finally...

Myth Cú was super trans-coded! Which is kind of unrelated ( not really, this is of great importance and extremely valid ) to what I’ve been writing so far but my blog my rules and I love making reminders that I headcanon Cú Chulainn as trans. And... I think that this part is pretty self-explanatory with what I’ve been writing about Myth Cú’s physical appearance and how he had to constantly prove that he was man enoughTM in his stories? Other interesting parts of Myth Cú on this topic include: Being the only Ulster warrior that wasn’t affected by the curse that affected all Ulster men; people don’t recognize him nor believe he’s the real Cú Chulainn until he proves himself; having only one kid ( Connla ) despite being married and have plenty of lovers in a time when birth control wasn’t that effective and heroes tended to have many, many children; Medb comparing him to an adolescent girl; the manner in which some of his actions are described in his battle against Ferdiad, like when Cú was keening like a woman, which is intensely interesting because of the Irish tradition of keening women. Thank you very much.

#[ hc: got some minutes to spare? ]#/ long post #/ btw pls don't reblog my hcs!#/ sorry today isn't a day for writing replies ( once again ) but every day is a good day to talk about cu chulainn

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