#and his horrifying ability is that he can digest dairy which is unheard of in this day and age

[ten-thousand-paper-wasps]

"And I'm telling you, Johnny, there ain't no such thing as Space Canada. It never happened."

Eight-Arms Johnny scratched idly at his ear. "But Sal," he said, "we gots a Space Atlantis, not three planets out. Why not a Canada?"

Sally Sweet-Jesus frowned at him. "Because, Johnny, Atlantis strapped rockets to a whole pod of squids and launched itself off the planet. It was an Earth city before. Canada ain't done that. And you know why?"

He had a feeling he wasn't going to like her answer. "Why, Sal?"

"'Cause there never was an Earth Canada. It's a myth."

"Hold on a minute, Sally," he argued. "There had to have been a Canada back on Earth. There's pictures."

"Can anyone prove it, though?" she asked. "I mean, how do we know those aren't some other wasteland? You know how many frozen planets there are? No. I don't believe it. Earth Canada was just a myth."

"Well," he said, "well, what about mooses? An' geeses and mounties? They're all in museums, ain't they?"

"And what about them?" Sally asked, dryly.

"So they had to have come from somewhere, right? Somewhere cold, and, and Canadian. It's got to be true, Sal."

Sally spits. "First of all, mooses died with the rest of the dinosaurs, when that Great Freeze took out all the power plants. The ones in the museum? Fake. Second? Mounties are like Bigfoots, or empanadas. What's the word. Cryptid. Jesus, Johnny, next you're gonna tell me humans can drink milk."

He thinks, very hard, before deciding against telling her about The Milkman. That freak tore Timmy Twelve-Eyes to pieces. Drinking milk.

He shuddered.

#the wasp writes #my writing #The Milkman #it takes place in space #in New New New New New New York which is on Neptune #the earth has been uninhabitable for centuries #and between that and all the radiation in space humans just aren't built the same #people just come out with extra parts sometimes #it's whatevs #and sometimes they have weird mutant powers #this is sort of a mafia story #where you get your name based on the first thing people shout upon seeing you #Timmy Twelve-Eyes for example has twelve eyes #and there's this edgy violent noir detective type called The Milkman #and his horrifying ability is that he can digest dairy which is unheard of in this day and age #he carries milk at all times to threaten his targets #I don't know if the conspiracy theorist is Sally or Johnny but it's one of them