#and i probably won't be able to defend myself cause i dissociate when i'm stressed

[thetreeturnedoff]

so uh, i'm like one sick day away from losing my job, so that's nice

#apparently calling in sick is counted the same as not saying anything and just not showing up so that's nice #like what's the fucking point of me calling in ahead of time to let you know i need to be replaced if you're gonna punish me as if i didn't #like. all this means is that i don't need to put the effort into warning you that i'll be out. i can just not show up and let you deal with #not knowing i wouldn't be there. like ???? #and doctor's notes don't affect this. so me being able to prove that i was out cause i literally couldn't work doesn't mean anything #i'm so angry #i've put so much effort into this job and it all means jack shit #it's not my fault i got sick. i got it from my dad. like am i just supposed to lock myself in my room when i'm at home? #i've been so weak and unable to breathe that i actually would have passed out at work had i gone in #i've had trouble walking up and down the stairs in my home #i work as a stocker in a grocery store so it's a lot of fast moving and carrying/pushing heavy things #and if i went in there's a chance i could have gotten my coworkers sick. which means they'd be out too #like what the fuck was i supposed to do here #my friend lost his job working here the same way. like you literally just have to miss 3 days in a 6 month period and you get fired #and most of the past week hasn't been counted against me. but two of the days were. which also makes no sense #idk man. i'm angry #so so fucking angry #but i'm also like super non-confrontational and i cry when i'm upset so ik i'm gonna look pathetic tomorrow when my manager questions me #and i probably won't be able to defend myself cause i dissociate when i'm stressed #especially in a situation like this with an authority figure #even if he's super gentle tomorrow i can already tell i'm gonna be crying in front of him and my coworkers and maybe even the customers too #which'll just make it worse #>:( #:'(