#and its hard to live a fufilling life when youre 14 and barely know yourself as a person

[atrocious-causation]

Ugh I wish I could just be possessed so I can know exactly what's wrong with my brain. Having someone who knows what's normal and what's not in there, picking at it would be useful. So I can know myself better and properly manage my possibly multiple mental illnesses and perhaps manage to lead a semblance of a normal life

#i dunno #it's 4:23 am #i can't sleep and have had two glasses of (caffine free) soda #I'd just like to know every nook and cranny of my mind so I can better myself #so i can be a better offspring child and general human being #and its hard to live a fufilling life when youre 14 and barely know yourself as a person #im absolutely positive that as i grow ill get to know myself better and grow into more of a person with more wisdom experience and interests #but id like to know myself better now so i can make better choices for my future #so i can not stumble through life with a blindfold and soundproof headphones on #oblivious to myself and the world around me #the quicker I understand myself the quicker i understand the world and the others in it #but of course we cant always get what we want #and possession is impossible #but hey #i can wish #i suppose ill settle for stumbling through life to the best of my ability along with everyone else #and pray to whatever god that's listening that i do alright #and that i do more good than harm