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tymbalzine · 6 months

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A Really Really Long Shang Tsung Tangent

HIIIIIIIIIII ~ <3

I've mentioned it on another post but I feel like getting it out there with more explanation. This is my first sort of think piece or character analysis I'm posting publicly so bear with me lol.

The TLDR is there are villains, there are people who are bad, and there are people that could do better but have a lot of trouble doing so. Not all of them are disordered or have something afflicting their decision making. But Shang Tsung, in my mind and given all the factors, is a villain with ASPD/Anti-social personality disorder.

While ASPD can contribute to what is medically considered 'psychopathy' and 'sociopathy', and from my anecdotal experience those who experience ASPD do not shy from the words, I personally will only be referring to the disorder itself.

I also got a comment about how much of this is him being disordered and how much of is a choice. I want to make it absolutely clear, while my theory of his tendencies stand, all his actions in the game are his choices nonetheless.

I still clown on him for not being able to just grin and bear the cards dealt to him and/or make a friend because... yeah he really just should have. This ramble is me acknowledging that many villains don't fit the description of ASPD, but he's one that definitely is rife with enabled anti-social behavior.

I think a lot about the second chance Liu Kang gave him. The parallels they gave Shang Tsung and Raiden are evident. People born in small pockets of their world, unassuming and uneventful until someone of great power (titans, no less) approach them with a task.

The difference is how they handle it. What is there to handle? Well... a lot, if you have as severe problems with empathy and collaborating with the rules of society as Shang Tsung does. His pre-game biography lists him as 'too lazy for labor' and 'too shifty for honest work', but he can work hard for the right promises as is evident in the game.

Gritting his teeth and doing the work handed to him would have been easier. While Outworld has its issues (prominently, the remnants of the royal's imperialist stand-offs and the ableism that looms in various Outworld characters' narratives), the general wellbeing of the working class doesn't seem to be one of them. But as a huckster, he's isolated, consistently having to rely on his lies, and receiving the consequences.

To be honest, I don't think Shang Tsung didn't try. I can believe it not working out very fast, but I don't think he simply ignored that standard work is out there. He can be arrogant and bratty, but he doesn't dilute his options.

Symptoms of ASPD such as lack of empathy, ignorance to the result of his actions, and disinterest in performing standard work/social obligations are already evident, and would impede on his life whether he is a powerful sorcerer or a nobody. These impact any friendships he could have, his impulse control, and how he regards anyone up to and including himself (who he deems untrustworthy).

But we are social people that want to feel, want to be happy. Anti-social behavior isn't extreme introversion, in fact many people with ASPD are very extraverted and social. It's less about being around people and more about the reactions they're capable of while with said people.

Not all villains have a disorder, obviously. Some have motivations deemed reasonable, and some are just delightfully evil. Shang Tsung starts off very disordered and not entirely villainous, though hardly good. He was someone who couldn't do what people around him thought was so straightforward.

He's in distress over his life as a scammer, but not really how it impacts others. He's unable to connect to them and has a sense of grandeur over them, but honestly most people are doing better than he can. People, to him, are inherently isolating and alienating. He's aware this isn't normal, and can only answer to it with apathy and more lies.

Most people with ASPD don't go in for that diagnosis. They do so because of comorbidities: mood disorders like depression and bi-polar, anxiety disorders such as OCD, and other personality disorders such as BPD. I do think this would have been the case for Shang Tsung as well, if Outworld was a sort of place that would pick these things out about him, but it isn't.

Damashi's approach is so glaring to me as a result. I can make all the wet cat jokes in the world, but it is sad to me that he cannot process the consequences of his actions, only that he is forced to feel them. He expects so badly out of others that he doesn't bother giving them anything good or better from him, which gets him punished, and the cycle starts all over. That's what he figures the woman is about to do.

And that woman could have been anyone. That's already the lesson there, as she is Titan Shang Tsung in disguise. He was given the right words by someone equally manipulative and was just as vulnerable to tricks, lies, and abuse as anyone else would be in his position.

You gotta remember, if she was there just to pummel him into a pulp, he was about to let her.

His decision to follow her is one of desperation and likely depression. Depression manifests differently to those who find themselves alienated, and do not understand people's sympathy and overt emotional responses.

From my anecdotal research, there's a set of words that come up a lot that doesn't show up on many articles or bullet points about ASPD. Numbness and boredom. It's not a normal boredom where you can occupy yourself with an activity or friends. It is a complete lapse of emotional connection and stimulation. If you aren't angry, you are bored. If you aren't bored, you are numb.

Which moves us into the topic of: sensation chasing.

"Damashi" teaches him real sorcery, and what ensues is his development into the conniving and cruel Shang Tsung we know and dread. A true testament to Shang Tsung's wit and manipulative tendencies, along with this new position dissolving his impulse control. Now that he isn't held down by a lack of magic, he treats people like objects toward his greater goals with even less regard than he had in the first place.

Good L-rd you are short.

People are the subject of his curiosity and how he chases off his boredom susceptibility. "Damashi" has a plan set in stone, but Shang Tsung's horrific laboratory is unrelated to "her" demands. The lab isn't just dedicated to his own research, but his sense of morbid novelty. He can already manipulate and use people - creating hybrids out of those already existing is a very "because I can" thing.

Syzoth is one of Shang Tsung's biggest victims of this. Shang Tsung exerts control of him first for his shapeshifting, but proceeds to keep him around and hang his family over his head... because he can. And because he can, he thinks it better to do so. But the more time he kept Syzoth in the cold, cruel, and dark, the more chances he was giving him to fight back or sabotage Shang Tsung - something that ends up happening.

Shang Tsung killed Syzoth's family very early into this. Perhaps even the day the Syzoth agreed to stay in the lab. What does he get out of hiding that? Perhaps it was a sort of inside joke, a chuckle he got with each and every visit. It wasn't for control, and it wasn't to get anything out of Syzoth besides a reaction. He gave himself something by doing it this way, no matter how cruel it was to Syzoth.

There's a lot of other examples obviously about how Shang Tsung treats the people around him, but I think that one's the most important to get out of the way. This post's long enough already.

More evidence of Shang Tsung having ASPD is his primary motive: revenge against Liu Kang. Shang Tsung doesn't dare question why he couldn't fit into a normal life, he only applies new faces to the life he detested and blames them for his problems. Taking responsibility and accountability would mean processing his social faults and how to improve them... something he absolutely refused to do.

When Shang Tsung is faced with "Damashi"'s true identity, he's more angry about being manipulated and outsmarted than any of the plans falling through. He's told, to his face, he isn't the best or smartest. He was a tool, running errands while being conspired against. Instead of registering that and empathizing with the people he used before this reveal, it fuels his internalized cruelty.

When he collaborates with Liu Kang's crew, he clearly tries to suck up to Kuai Liang and even Raiden. But these are people that run on empathy. Caring about people as a whole and having faith in them doesn't mesh with Shang Tsung's view that this whole world runs on fraudulent transactions. In that moment, he fits in with the people around him just as poorly as he did while running a travel cart.

Alan Lee, the voice actor of Shang Tsung, mentions that "Damashi" approached Shang Tsung with a cheat code to life so potent that it makes Shang Tsung determined to own up to his depravity. He describes him as a "madman with pandora's box, mixed with a child to the keys to candyland." He's unpredictable, not just by standard villainy, but because nothing else has appealed to him in life.

Now that Shang Tsung has burned nearly every bridge he had, he wants to own up to that. Because to him, the only other option is the quiet. Boredom. That numbness again. If he spent any longer in that travel cart, he may have frankly committed suicide out of the sheer droll.

He will lie, steal, and carve his way into and out of any problem as he was enabled to under Titan Shang Tsung, and in a way has initiated a new, sad reality of chasing that Titan's shadow.

#shang tsung #mortal kombat #mk1 #sorry. i am insane.#brief BRIIEF suicide mention #mine: writing

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mooleche · 5 years

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Hiii I'm recovering from 3 days of antidepressant withdrawals, so can I have that whole "not nice OC asks" list for Nina? Yeah, the whole damn thing.

Dad holy fuck, sending you them BIG HUGS rn. I hope you feel better soon!

WHOLE DAMN THING HERE WE GO

1. What is one word to shut them up?

‘Enough'It's a very basic word but Nina knows that when it's used it's time to stop whatever she's doing that's causing someone to have to say it, mostly because her parents only ever used it on her when she was getting too rough with her sparring partners or when she was pushing herself too hard. It’s kind of a ‘snap back to reality’ trigger for her.

2. What is the thing they feel the most guilty about?

Giving up on her dream of becoming a real hero. Since she was born a mutant and grew up seeing Captain America and various other heroes fighting crime she wanted to use her powers for good to fight crime like them, so that's what she worked towards for like, a HUGE chunk of her life. So to have her health suddenly take a dive and then eventually get too hurt to keep up with her old antics crushed her spirit for a long time.

3. What is the worst pain they’ve ever experienced?

OH BOY. This would probably be when she was experimented on by Essex Corp. in her mid-teens. She was often punished for protecting the other children that were being experimented on and took on the brunt of what they dished out there, eventually leading to them going as far as removing her secondary mutation as a way to discipline her into submission. She was eventually rescued of course, and was able to repress these memories, but the amount of stress that was put on her body made it so that she could never fully fight crime again.

4. Describe their worst nightmare.

Having a child/seeing a child die. She's not SUPER into kids because of her lifestyle and taking care of Venom is already like caring for one, but she's got a mighty soft spot for them. This unfortunately changes after having a dream simulation of her future family used against her in a mission gone wrong, so she's terrified of putting a child in that type of scenario in the real world, instead putting her care into the children of the X-Mansion.

5. List 3 fears; one “surface level” fear, one “repressed” fear, and one “deep dark” fear.

Surface level - Dying. That's pretty much everyone's fear but Nina's faced it a few times too many not to worry that it could be around the corner at any second so she (stubbornly) lives her life to the fullest with Venom while she's able to repress it.Repressed - Needles. She doesn't remember why or how this fear came about (due to her memories of her terrible experience at Essex being shut away) but the sight of them makes her sick to her stomach.Deep dark - Losing control. Due to her symbiotic relationship with Venom and seeing how unhinged he can be in the wrong hands it's a deep dark fear of Ninas that one day she'll lose control of herself and Venom will completely take over. Despite all the reassurance that he gives that he won't do that she still is unable to shake the feeling that it will some day happen

.6. What is something that never fails to make them feel sick?

Large amounts of gore. She can stomach it more after being around Wade long enough, but the sight of too much blood/mutilation often leaves her sick to her stomach.

7. What feature (physical or otherwise) do they hate most about themselves?

Her body, but only because it can't handle much before it shuts down under stressful conditions. Also one large scar on her right side she has as a reminder of her last solo vigilante mission that ended poorly; a reminder that she had to give up what she loved most.

8. Do they have anything that triggers them?

The mention of Essex Corp always seems to trigger a deep-rooted feeling of fear in her that she can never piece together why until later in her life.

9. What is their greatest physical weakness?

Her body dsgkslgs. Due to all the experiments and stress put on her body she can't do much without overexerting herself. Bloody noses are always her red flag that she's overdoing it and needs to tap out.

10. What is their greatest mental weakness?

She's stubborn as hell and tends to keep things to herself for the sake of not stressing others out, which in turn ends up stressing everyone out even more.

11. Do they have any vices?

Despite getting nauseous around gore she's got a pretty big bloodlust. She loves fighting and will sometimes stray off the heroic path because of it.

12. Have they ever done something illegal? What was it?

She's killed a man before, which kind of births her bloodlust mentioned earlier and realizing that some people can only stop doing wrong if they're buried 6 feet underground.

She’s also erased a lot of students debts using her ink powers. Not all heroes wear capes ( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)

13. Which of the 7 Deadly Sins best describes them?

Definitely Wrath. You wouldn't suspect with how she acts normally (clumsy, easy-going, ect.) but she's very into the idea of torturing someone if it means getting the answers she wants or getting revenge by any means necessary.

Also probably Sloth, just because for her early 20's she spends a lot of her life in a bit of a depressed funk after everything that happens to her, but also a bitch loves naps.

14. Are they prone to outbursts (of violence, extreme emotion… exc… )?

Sometimes. Usually only if she or the people around her are being threatened will she get violent or start making threats. Or if she sees Scott Summers.

15. Who do they hate the most?

Scott Summers ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿Just kidding (kind of). She loathes villains that think they can get away with their crimes, or who are uncaring of the destruction they cause the rest of the world for their gain. Harassers and abusers are a close second but the ultimate bane of her existence is the scientist that tortured her when she was younger.

16. Is there anyone who makes them feel inferior?

Colossus. Which isn't intentional on his part, and she knows this, but he is such a momma hen to her most of the time that she feels like he doesn't think she's strong enough to hold her own on missions.

17. What sound always gives them a headache?

Anything that's TOO loud or high a frequency. Due to Venoms weakness to higher pitches of sound she has to be careful with some of the things she listens to or where she goes.

18. Is there a certain flavor that disgusts them?

Anything TOO sweet, which is a toss-up for her as Venom LOVES chocolate gsdkgds

19. Do they consider themselves ugly?

Not ugly, but she definitely feels she's serving a 'gross college student with no control of their life' look.

20. Do they consider themselves unloveable?Not really. She's fully aware she's lovable, but there are moments she's had where she's felt she couldn't be loved because she's a mutant.But then her parents burst through her door and give her a good fucking pep talk.

21. What is something that causes them great anxiety?

Losing control of herself or messing up a mission she's on.

22. Do they have any mental illnesses?

She suffers from PTSD, Depression and Anxiety.

23. Have they ever been assaulted/abused/raped?

She was abused severely back at Essex Corp, which she has managed to block out completely, and has gotten her fair share of fights in while acting as a vigilante.

24. Do they fear the possibility of being assaulted/abused/raped?

Somewhat. She knows it's all definitely a possibility, especially in her line of work, but having Venom with her makes her feel better about wandering the streets at night most of the time.

25. Have they ever been betrayed by someone they thought they could trust?

Yes. But it was under the guise that they thought what they were doing would help her in the long run when it ended up just slapping a band-aid on a dam.

26. Have they ever been seriously injured?

Boy has she! ∠( ᐛ 」∠)＿

27. How many times have they been in the hospital?

A handful of times in her teens, and then in her early 20s due to a lethal attack that almost left her for dead. After that she gains Venom and usually goes to Hank McCoy when needing medical services (no matter how many times he tells her he's not her personal hospital)

28. Is there a certain type of person that disgusts them?Racists, Anti-Mutant supporters, Rapists, take your pick. If they're doing bad things she most definitely does not like them.

29. Does what they cannot see scare them?A bit, yeah. She often will stay awake at night talking about it with Venom because he's technically old as shit, to which she'll sometimes wake Colossus up so he can give his 2 cents which is usually 'Go back to BED'.

30. Have they ever been bullied?When they were younger, yes. Being a mutant often makes you the Caesar of jokes, which she hated and resorted to eventually wearing half gloves as a result to cover her markings.

31. Do they have self-confidence or self-image issues?After losing her strength to fight she is often plagued with self-confidence issues, not feeling like anything is up to par with what she would like. Having a group of supportive friends and loved ones around her pulls her out of this hole eventually though.

32. Do they have a bad relationship with their parents?God no. Her parents are her heroes and while they aren't mutants themselves, have been with her 100% of the way to make sure she could live life as comfortably as possible.

33. Have they ever been in a relationship that didn’t work out so well?The majority of her relationships all ended on decent terms. She keeps in touch with them to keep the friendships going because they're all still cool folks.

34. Have they ever self harmed?No, she was always too nervous to go through with it.

35. If they could change one thing about themselves, what would it be?That her body return to normal. Or that she could gain her old mutation back.

36. Are they in control of their emotions, or are their emotions in control of them?Because she's the current host of Venom she's kind of forced to keep her emotions in check. That of course doesn't mean that she doesn't have a hiccup in the road every now and then but she does her best to keep them both centered.

37. Have they ever had their freedom taken away?Yes. A few times to her displeasure, but she's always managed to get it back and get her revenge for it.

38. Have they ever been imprisoned?slgjksgdl yes, she's even gone as far as getting herself tossed into the Ice Box intentionally for missions

39. Have they ever been accused of something they didn’t do?Later in her life, yes. She gets set up at least once in order to do someone else's dirty work, which she does not take to kindly.

40. Do they often blame themselves for other people’s problems?Sometimes, yes. But only if she wasn't able to help in the matter as expected.

41. Do they get sick often?Nah, despite being a walking enigma of health she surprisingly doesn't get sick.

42. Are they comfortable with where they are in life?She likes to think she is. At the start of her new chapter in life she's kind of drifting around in college and just trying to live as normal a life as she can despite wanting to do more but not wanting to overwhelm her body in the process.

43. Do they wish that they could change their pasts?Yes. There's large chunks of her past that she has no recollection of and wishes (though fears) that she could change or at least SEE them.

44. What’s one thing they wish they could do more often, but can’t?Protect her loved ones and/or spend more time with Colossus, since they're schedules are always so borked.

45. What is the emotion they most commonly experience?Exhaustion or Confusion sgkgls

46. Have they ever contemplated suicide?Unfortunately, yes. During her teen years after her experience she fought heavily with it due to not knowing what happened to herself in the gap of memory missing, just the emptiness that stayed with her.

47. Have they ever gone so far as to attempt suicide?No, while she considered it many a time she decided against it because her desire to figure out what happened overpowered the desire to die.

48. Is there anyone that they would willingly kill?Oh honey. Pick a name out of the hat, she's good to go LOL

49. If [name] was put into ______ situation, they’d rather die than live to see it through.This is WAY far off but in her story, but probably the reawakening of Knull. Since he's the god of symbiotes it would ultimately destroy her because it would mean Venom would be reverted to his original feral self and Knull would probably force her to watch as he takes over Earth, a situation she would attempt to thwart but would be more than welcome to die than see him reach his goal.

50. Create your own!Time to reveal a sad plot in Nina's story (since I don't know when I'll get to this hhh) -Nina and Colossus actually met each other when she was younger when the x-men came to her rescue at the Essex corp, but because of Charles Xavier doing his special MIND TRICKS she holds no recollection of ever meeting him or any of the conversations they held when she was recovering from the incident at the mansion. So they have this strange familiar feeling when they first meet but think it's just a possible attraction to one another and can't place why :')

#long post #oc shit #Nina Knight #master-sass-blast

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locoluis · 3 years

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Pam's visit to the doctor

DISCLAIMER: This is a fictional story. I have no medical knowledge, so the following is all artistic licence and stuff taken from the web. Please consult a proper medical professional if you experience any of the symptoms described below. Oh, and sorry for the sloppy writing.

It has been from bad to worse during the last weeks. I don't like summer, I get way too sweaty and dehydrated. I get sunburned easily. I am self conscious about my body and will need to wear less than the normal amount of clothing I usually enjoy wearing, which attracts the stares of people who look like they haven't seen a girl with more than a B cup in their entire lives.

Like they never get out of this town.

I like going to the city, even though the climate is warmer there than up here in the hills, because nobody bats an eye about my appearance there, or at least not that much. The city centre is a couple hours away by bus. Only a few, elderly people are joining me in this trip I absolutely need to carry out.

The local paediatricians are as useless as the painkillers they prescribe. One of them said: “ At this point, you should consider going to an adult's doctor. ” Madam, I'm only twelve, and you're supposed to be able to take care of people through their late teens. Don't come at me with such rubbish.

Then my PE teacher recommended me this children's hospital in the city, and I got an appointment. I got so stressed during the bus trip that the box of chocolates that I brought with me didn't last long enough. I hope this isn't as bad as it feels.

Even though this is the second time I've seen this particular lady, I immediately recognised her. Shorter than me, dangerously skinny, with a childish face despite being in her mid-thirties, and a brunette ponytail of ridiculous length.

— Pamela Evans. I remember you.

— Dr. Eliana Martínez. You were the lady who awarded me the gold medal at the swimming competition a few months ago.

— Indeed. That was… a random, unusual philanthropic gesture from me. I must confess that your victory caught me by surprise, as you looked like you didn't even want to participate.

— Well, Mum taught me to swim at an early age, and she really wanted me to participate. But I hate PE with a passion, and it was really embarrassing for me to be in a swimsuit with all those people around. You can guess why.

— Yeah, I can relate, having been pregnant once. Never again.

I couldn't quite hide my amazement. How does such a twiggy lady manage to have a child growing inside such a tiny belly?

— Indeed, I have a daughter. Her name is Violeta, and she will soon be bigger than me. I carried my baby through full term, with no complications, shattering all expectations. I guess I'm a woman after all, ha ha ha. But enough about me; please tell me what brings you here.

I took a long breath.

— Doctor, during the last few weeks it's been difficult for me to concentrate in class, to get asleep, to get enough rest. I sweat way too much. I feel a lot of anxiety, even to the point of paranoia. Sometimes I feel my heart beating too hard and too fast. Sometimes I feel a burning sensation in my chest. And I've been putting on quite some weight, though I'm not sure how much of that is just going through puberty.

— Well, body changes are normal through puberty, and girls grow and develop at different rates.

— I'm aware of that. All my classmates still look like children. I'm the only one with the shape of a grown-up woman at twelve.

— About that. When I was twelve, it was the exact opposite. The other girls were all grown up, while I still look like a ten years old.

— Well, you sure are tiny, even compared to my classmates.

— Yeah, yeah. Now that I think about it, you look a lot like one of mine. Blue eyes, a different hairstyle and nose shape, a slimmer waist, but otherwise she was a dead ringer for you.

— Even her breast size?

— Indeed. She was curvy and gorgeous, and all the boys were crazy for her, but she only had eyes for one boy… who just wasn't ready for a relationship. And it made me cringe that she didn't seem to feel pretty enough, that she wore more make-up than was necessary, plus her dangerously short, tight-fit school pinafore dress… she looked ridiculous.

— Oh, I have some classmates who are like that. Not me, though; I already get way too much attention without doing anything with my looks.

— Well, you seem more like the forbidden snack type, which ironically is more attractive for some men than the overly sexy type.

— … Ach-y-fi.

— … Excuse me? I'm not a native English speaker, and that's a word I haven't heard before.

— Oh, that's a local expression of disgust. Like, it seems like I can't avoid the male gaze.

— That's their problem, Miss Evans, not yours. Don't make it your problem. I've got nothing here, yet men still stare.

— Well, your body type is even more unusual…

— I know. But you have to excuse me, this is getting way off-topic. I don't usually talk to my patients about my own childhood, and I'm talking to you like we knew each other from long ago.

— Well, I don't mind. Yours seems to have been an interesting childhood.

— Indeed, but that's not why you're here. So let me get through this. Most of the issues that you describe are not necessarily associated with puberty, and no sign of pain or discomfort is worth getting glossed over. First of all, please stand on the scale to get your height and weight measured.

I do. To no surprise, I'm overweight. She also checked my heart rate and blood pressure.

— Now, tell me. Tea, coffee, carbonated drinks. How much do you drink each day?

— Not much, actually. I drink a couple cups of tea each day. Unlike the rest of my family, who just can't get enough of it. And they drink green tea, which tastes horrible to me.

— Hmm. What about chocolate?

She stopped talking when she noticed the sheer expression of horror in my face.

— What? Did I hit a nerve, Miss Evans? Please tell me how much do you eat everyday. Answer truthfully.

I started crying uncontrollably. She patiently bears with me through this.

— … Doctor. I have a lot of admirers. Every day I get several boxes of chocolate in the mail. And I can't control myself.

— Well, chocolates have a high calorie count due to their sugar and fat content. And the symptoms you've been experiences are consistent with an excessive chocolate intake.

— And now you're telling me that I have to eat less chocolates. As if my life wasn't horrible enough.

— Well, at least you don't have acne… yet.

— ACNE!? Oh my God! I need to stop eating chocolates right now!

— Well, acne is more of an issue with eating lots of carbohydrates and dairy products, and there's no consensus about the link between acne and chocolate consumption. But I still advise you to reduce the amount of chocolate you eat everyday.

— I understand.

— To prevent acne, you should eat more fruits, vegetables and fish. Drinking green tea is also good against acne, and it has many more health benefits. It contains caffeine, so it too must be consumed in moderation.

— Green tea. As I said, I don't like it.

— Add lemon juice and stevia to it. There are many types of green tea, you just have to find which one is better tasting for you. And brewing it correctly is quite important in order to get it just right, not too bitter or watery.

— Well, thank you.

— I'll prescribe you some medication in order to treat the symptoms you've mentioned. But you should follow my instructions in order to attack their root cause. Stop eating so many chocolates, and come back in a month or so, in order to check your progress. I most likely won't be around, as I travel a lot and I'm currently on a temporary contract, but Dr. Spencer is an experienced paediatrician who will be able to take your case.

— I'll do. Oh, and I have a last question. Do you think I should get a breast reduction? And how do I get it on the NHS?

— Well, first of all, I don't think it's advisable to get one while you're still developing, except in extreme cases of breast hypertrophy. Second, you should get down to a stable weight, and get an assessment with a psychiatrist or psychologist. Third, as there are many women seeking to get breast reduction surgery on the NHS, the waiting list can be up to several years, and a lot of women are being turned down as not meeting their criteria. Also, private treatment is quite expensive. And… would you like me to measure you?

— Yeah, sure.

Her procedure for measuring my breast size is a bit more complicated than what I knew. She then puts the measurements on a spreadsheet, which gets her a bunch of numbers.

— Wearing a good-fitting bra can alleviate many of the issues associated with large breasts. Also, I'm recommending you some exercises that can strengthen your core muscles, and some tips to improve your posture. But I wouldn't advise a breast reduction surgery on someone like you, as its risks and consequences certainly outweigh the possible benefits. They're not that big, actually; you just have a delicate body frame. Your ideal weight is lower than that of other girls of your age and height.

— I understand.

I need to make a lot of sacrifices in order to stop feeling like this. Mum is going to stare me down and tell me: “ I told you, Pam ”. And then I'm asking her what we should do with so all those chocolates.

#puberty #fiction #health

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