#and mid july of 2022 im still not vaccinated for covid. bc my dad is a conservative that doesnt give enough of a shit about me to get it

[fleshdyke]

hejehge

#i cant wait to get out of this fucking house #still a few years until i can legally move out and even then i probably won’t be able to for a few more years bc of money #my dad gets mad at me for showing any emotion ever or being anything other than the perfect golden child #no one will fucking believe me that im autistic and disabled #i get fatigued from walking out of a fucking restaurant to the parking lot! look me in the eyes and tell me thats normal! #but just because im fat thats the reason for all my issues #thats why i have chronic pain and i just don’t exercise enough when they fucking know IM IN RECOVERY FOR ANOREXIA #and my dad wont stop talking about weight loss in front of me even when i ask him to stop because its triggering for me because im #just a fucking snowflake i guess #one time i asked him to stop talking about his diet or whatever when im around and he said no but i could use it myself! AND HE WONDERS WHY #IM FUCKING RELAPSING AGAIN #literally the past entire week i’ve just been repeating ‘no food is as harmful as an eating disorder’ bc its all that will fucking stop me #and he wont believe that i have tics for some reason so i have to fucking suppress them all around him if i dont want to get screamed at #and mid july of 2022 im still not vaccinated for covid. bc my dad is a conservative that doesnt give enough of a shit about me to get it #the only vaccinated person in my family is my mom and my dad didnt want her to get it either #but she says shes an adult so she has bodily autonomy #do i not fucking deserve that? do i not get bodily autonomy bc im a minor? fuck you #and i’ve told both my parents multiple times that i dont like when people touch me without permission except for my friends #ESPECIALLY ON MY FUCKING HIPS AND THIGHS AND ASS #BUT THEY DO IT ANYWAY BC THEY DONT GIVE A SHIT WHAT I WANT #i dont fucking care how shitty adulthood is i dont care aboyt the stresses it gives me i just want to be fucking out of here #i want to be out of here i want to be with people that fucking respect me like my parents don’t #i don’t want to be abused anymore i just want to feel safe in my own fucking home #and i feel like such a spoiled brat because i have everything i need given to me because im a fucking child but im complaining anyways and #logically i know i have every right to complain bc theyre not giving me privileges theyre givimg me basic human rights and even then only #some of them. i dont have fucjing bodily autonomy from the people i should be able to expect it from and i dont have respect or fucking love #the only thing keeping me fucking alive right now is the promise that one day i’ll get out of here #and its fucking terrifying knowing you’re relapsing into anorexia again but its so fucking hard to stop it #its got a fucking grip on me and its so fucking hard to get out of it #vent