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#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
yardsards
·
2 months
Text
living in america is literally just like. yeah i could probably benefit from inpatient mental health services but honestly the resulting medical bills would just make me want to kill myself even more
#eliot posts
#i'm not in active danger of hurting myself don't worry
#just experiencing some Ideations
#but i have a long mental list of reasons not to act on those ideations so i'm safe don't worry
#ironically one of those reasons is ''i couldn't afford the medical bills for a failed attempt''
#suicide mention
#suicide tw
#tw suicide
#american healthcare my beloathed
#dogshit private insurance my beloathed
#also ironically one of the (multiple) contributing factors towards this fresh wave of ideations is a medical bill i got yesterday
#it's nothing too ruinous but it is A LOT like would utterly wipe out my savings level
#my parents said they can help me with it (as much as i hate accepting things from them)
#and as soon as i mentioned it my very sweet cousin just. sent me the money it would take to cover it
#with a ''yeah i trust you'll pay me back once you get a good job like looking at your major you'll be making a lot eventually''
#and i've already requested an itemized bill as well as the paperwork for the hospital's financial assistance program
#(tho idk how much assistance i'll actually be eligible for bc i'm still legally a dependent)
#so hopefully i'll be able to get that bill cut way down
#it's just eugh it's so stressful and i had a full on panic attack on the phone with my insurance company yesterday
#and my brain's fav response to crushing stress is just ''well we wouldn't have to handle any of this if we Just Fucking Died! :)''
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