#and my ex forcing me to lie still to Try And Astral Project while he would be stopping me

[abyssalpriest]

#I have. A shit tonne to say on this song. About how it was one of the last songs in one of my ex's meditation playlists #And generally I get a little freaked out when I hear songs like that that he listened to but like... This one for some reason means so much #to me. It reminds me of sitting there - he'd lie in my body perfectly still not moving at all for like an hour - in the freezing cold room #bc we'd never use the heater and the window would be open 24/7 and the stars were just above our head #and I'm like............. This is........................ #This song is...... That recollection shouldn't be so comforting because in any other situation and in any other context those nights #and my ex forcing me to lie still to Try And Astral Project while he would be stopping me #And being stared at by thousands of eyes is horrific #But this song conjures something and means something and #IDK what the full reason is but this feels like connecting to Leviathan in those years. To get to the point. #I'm still not conscious of what he was talking about and I guess that's natural bc I wasn't conscious of it then but I know #what energy he's talking about like. I may not have known he as a Being was there but I remember it and it's this #Despair // #Energy #ramblings // #This feels like him back then. I feel like.... Some fucking part of me saw him there and some fucking part of me knew.... I guess that's #literally true but... Its so.... Blurry. #Actually no I think these are weird fucking astral memories bc I shouldn't have snapshots of Seeing him like what's in my head #blurry cryptid looking ass. Affectionately. Fuck. No that adds up because I already knew these years were me waking up more #and more in the fucking astral jfvzhshsjs holy shit no hold on wtf #What it feels like and looks like would align EXACTLY with brief barely conscious waking up out of my body and seeing him #and then passing out again - just heard him say I've come a long way I'LL TAKE THAT AS A YES #Fucking hell. Yeah it feels exactly how the astral feels goddamn. Just. Hi now I know who you are. Mr Hat Man #Leviathan // #Music #Spotify