#and my mind tries to make a narrative out of random bits and bops about historical events and theological debates i'm vaguely aware of

[hexjulia]

just remembered how this morning woke up in the middle of an incredibly boring debate between two strangers on whether horses ridden by christians were christian as well despite the horses not being baptised. I was just wondering why i was there for it when quite abruptly and that was thankfully no longer the case (woke up).

#why was i present in what i figure was a medieval type situation #i didn't peg it as medieval at the time because i was there. it was just two guys casually talking #as they stood next to two large dark horses holding the bridles #waiting for someone idk who to show up #like. do you ever have dreams that are vivid and if you were superstitious could be believed to be you astral projecting into a the past #only. because your mind is kind of a rudderless instrument you just end up spying on the most irrelevant things in existence #that's how it feels. now how it actually happened is probably because i have a severe debilitating wikipedia addiction #and my mind tries to make a narrative out of random bits and bops about historical events and theological debates i'm vaguely aware of

[soulstructuredlines]

NaPoWriMo self analysis, personal highlights and thoughts

Since the somewhat exhausting yet extremely fun experience of NaPoWriMo has now reached an end, and because it was my first go, I thought I'd have some fun critiquing myself. Oh my god, what kind of person has fun evaluating themselves? Well... me of course! LOL. I am going to talk about my personal standouts, both good and bad, in chronological order. So, let's get to it!

Day 1: Between Stanzas: I had no idea what to write about and wanted to start on my own because I didn't know how I was gonna feel about doing NaPoWriMo. Then, the idea of working with alliteration crossed my mind, and I thought it would be cool to create a message within that. Then this came out! It did take some serious brain work to put it together, but I was happy with the result.

Day 4: Leucine-enkephalin: I loved the idea of creating a riddle type poem but had no idea where to go with it. At first I totally thought I wasn't gonna be able to do it, and felt disappointed. Then, I started writing, and the concept sort of came to me as words began to flow out. I had no idea what to title it, but then I'd remembered something I'd learned, and that's where it came from. I was happy with how it turned out.

Day 5: Commewnication: I felt like I captured the relationship between my cat and I really well, so, I was happy with it because when I read it back, I smile and feel all warm inside recalling the love we share. My lovely girl. ❤ 😻 I also liked my title, felt like my alternate spelling was pretty fitting. I do love cat related puns quite a lot.

Day 11: Smile: Well, I'd never written a bop poem before, actually found it rather challenging. I was mostly happy that I managed to do one lol. I was happy with the message it conveyed, because it is something I feel strongly about and truly believe is an important issue. However, I felt limited and like things were missing, it was driving me crazy to have to take out certain things that I'd written and felt were important. I rewrote some parts several times, it was becoming emotional for me. This poem was the most emotionally intense struggle of the month. It's hard to put something with so many dynamics into simplistic form like that. Perhaps that was my mistake, tackling a complex issue like that with such specific requirements to follow. Oh well, I can always write more on the subject without limitations some other time.

Day 12: Internet of Stupidity: Well, I was hardly inspired that day. I didn't feel like I followed the prompt as well as I could have, I know I can do much better with alliteration and assonance. And honestly this just felt more like a rant than any type of elegant poetry. It doesn't surprise me in some ways, because I am an emotional writer. I know that feelings are where I do best, and that I do better with this type of subject in essay form or something along those lines. But it was all I had that day to make me feel any type of emotion, so I tried to work with it the best I could.

Day 16: A Thank You Letter: I think this one speaks for itself. I loved how it flowed out because it was just so natural, I didn't have to think about anything. It was one of those moments that reminds me of the writing style that comes natural to me. That is, to just feel and lose myself in it. In those moments it's like the words come out before my brain can process them. Then the next thing I know, I'm finished and have something to read over to check for typos and the like. Hard to explain. It sure feels amazing though, one of my favourite feelings related to writing.

Day 17: Blank: I feel like I pretty much perfectly conveyed how I feel on days where I just can't find inspiration no matter how hard I try. Writing really is mood dependent for me, I can't force it and have no idea how people do. It does amaze me when I can draw inspiration from those uninspired moments and come up with something, but it takes exhaustive work. It feels like I'm draining myself of every bit I have left. So this title worked because it described the state of my mind and I just couldn't come up with anything better.

Day 18: Think: Oh god, the most terrible poem of them all. Haha! The prompt that allows for the creation of new words. Slightly disappointing as I often have fun creating new compound words or inventing words that just make sense to me and I feel would fit into English language. These choices were not a good representation of that. But this, everyone, is the result of trying to force things! I totally was not in the mood at all that day and I tried way too hard. I'd have been better off not following prompt. But, that's okay, it didn't throw me off or anything as I knew that the result of writing so many poems this way, some were bound to suck. Anyway, if I'm gonna shine light on the good, gotta shine it on the bad too, so there you go!

Day 24: Shape of My Words: I woke up with the concepts of shapes in my head that day. Then I started writing and made this. I had fun with the wordplay hear and the way that I started out with the concept and then seeing how listening to music ultimately helped form the shape of what this piece would become. It was very random and just flowed out. So, I liked it because it just felt good to me.

Day 26: Future Discovery of a Poetry Collection: The intriguing prompt calling for exploring a site of study from a future scientist's perspective. I didn't know if I was going to follow it or not, mostly because as I discussed earlier, I'm just not good at poetry that doesn't involve feelings lol and I didn't know how to bring that into this concept. But then I guess I figured it out, because this idea came to me and it made me reflect on the world and the state of humanity as well as what it could become. I liked how it felt when my mind went here. I guess I could have taken on the character's POV and written a narrative from that perspective instead of third person, but, I didn't. Lol. Still, I was happy to explore that territory and these ideas.

The rest I didn't talk about aren't necessarily because I disliked them, it's that I don't really have anything special or interesting to say about them. Overall I thought I did pretty well, I'm satisfied with my efforts. This experience taught me about different types of poetry (Skeltonic verse is probably the favourite that I learned/could picture myself using again) and I got to challenge myself in several ways. I also got to create some poems I really like. It even inspired me to write some more unrelated to NaPoWriMo. So, I'm thankful for all of that. I'm equally grateful to have read some beautiful, inspiring words of others and that some of mine were enjoyed, means a lot to me. I hope to keep writing more and to revive creative juices. I hope you will continue to join me. Feel free to share your thoughts/feelings if ever you like, I'm always open to feedback. Thanks for reading! And thanks NaPoWriMo! For inspiring me to give this once neglected blog some more consistent attention. 😊

#napowrimo #napowrimo 2017 #national poetry month #poetry #poets on tumblr #writing #long form #grateful #appreciation #self critique