#and taking breaks makes me feel guilty AND panicked so i cant even reset w a short break and come back

[silverislander]

i have 7 assignments, total, left in school. once i finish those i'm going to be done- i graduate in may which is WILD to think about. i just have to fucking do them

#im not getting anything done today so far and its like. midway through the afternoon already #and i realized how close i am to graduating and how i have no idea what comes after that and now im just kind of directionlessly panicked #which is. really helping the situation as you could imagine /s #im really close to finishing a couple of things rn. could get at least one done today #i REALLY need to get to work on my essay bc that largely determines whether i get honours and im pretty behind schedule on it #and i havent looked at at least one final assn and i do NOT have much time left to start it. its not small #theres barely any time left in the semester at all #i just need to finish Smth today #levi.txt #i cant make myself do anything and im panicked abt that which makes it impossible to do anything #and taking breaks makes me feel guilty AND panicked so i cant even reset w a short break and come back #my parents Consistent response to my anxiety has been. poor at best. and they dont believe i have adhd at all #so if i talk to them abt either of those things they get upset w me and claim i just dont want to take their 'advice' so i cant be helped #and the advice is shit like 'dont feel that way' and 'simply go do your work' #like. i talked to my mom abt how stressed i feel bc im behind and her response was basically 'thats what you get for falling behind' #i havent seen my friends in a while either or at least not in an environment where we can actually hang out and talk #idk man. i just really wish i could stay in bed and watch a show and not feel sick bc of how anxious i am abt it all #i want to write again. i miss it a lot i havent been able to write in months now