#and tbh i don't like skaar and rick's but that was just because their ones started out as small fics ughh

[getreadytosmash]

Honey, it ain’t home

Note:PLEASE be aware that this fic contains child abuse/neglect and death as well as implied transphobia and know that I do not regret hurting my kids feel free to toss fish and squid at me UwU

“(Wake up, scum)!”

The voice range into Skaar’s cage and eventually a small grey child sat up and stared back to the cage master. Green on black eyes almost seemed to light up the darkest corner of his cage. Shrinking back from the yelling was never a good thing, so the slave was sure to crawl forwards until he was enough in the light that made the cage master nod with satisfaction.

“(You have a fight later),” They knocked a hand against the cage, red skin pulling back into a smirk when Skaar flinched back and bore his fangs without thinking. The stone of his skin stood out far more than any other slave here. “(Make sure you’re in top condition, the King will be watching).”

No one knew where he came from. No one cared. 

The mention of a king got a flinch from him then and Skaar was careful to not say anything that could have potentially set the master off. The last time he had been too loud and the electrified whip across his back - bright flashes he had barely had the time to comprehend before something flew across - left Skaar screaming as wrong coloured blood dripped out of his back. 

Greyskin and wrong eyes with wrong blood. He looked every bit like the monster that they all said he was. 

The cage was going to open soon. Skaar could see his sword being brought out, the shocking prods with dazzling and painful light as well as a bucket of water to dunk his head into and to wash away the old blood from the before fights. He was kept away from the smooth feeling of Earth and solid cold metal was all he could live and sleep on until he was forced out into the ring. Skaar didn’t know why they were so certain on this, but any idea of asking was immediately followed by the fear of what could come for such a thought. 

He would fight and he would kill and then Skaar would scream when he was hurt over and over. It was a hellish life and the only time the grey-skinned monster felt better was when he was asleep and the planet felt like it rocked him to sleep. 

The rattling of his cage startled Skaar and he looked up to see the Cage Master banging the pain stick, a smirk on their face as they leaned against the door, water splashing from the bucket in their free hand. Fear cradled his heart and if he wished that someone would save him, please. 

“(Let’s get this over with, killer of killers. The less I have to touch a monster, the better.)”

~~~~

Rick screamed, and he hated the fact that it took only eight hits of the cane to do this to him. Sure, he had grown past six, but it still stung his pride far worst than it did physically to know that he was giving Sister Maude what she wanted. He didn’t want to scream for her, listen to the lecture she always gave or the way his back pulled and stretched around his caning injuries later on.

He didn’t know what he had done wrong this time, but it always seemed to be something. Sometimes he was too messy, too loud, just too much for anyone and that was why he was alone. Sister Maude said these things and Rick had nowhere to go so he was stuck here, grunting in pain as cold words were the only thing to soothe him.

“Time after time I warn you about this happening, Richard.” Sister Maude’s scowl could be heard clearly, even though Rick couldn’t see her at the moment, or at least didn’t want to. “You start these fights for, what? Attention? To cause more problems for the poor sisters? Answer me!”

The cane came down much lower than it usually did, and the fourteen year old shrieked when the cane hit much lower than it usually did. Pain rushed up his back and Rick fought to not scramble away. Trying to run would only mean that a worse punishment would follow. “N-no!” 

When it finally ended, Rick bit back any last noises, not wanting to give the nun anything else to tell him off over. Besides, it was better that it was Rick on the receiving end of these punishments instead of anyone else. Usually he had it coming, whether it was because he was too loud when trying to learn a new song on the guitar his father had left for him or when he was trying to take away any attention from the younger kids here. No one deserved to be yelled at or made to feel like nothing and Rick had been here long enough that he was used to it.

Besides, it was like Sister Maude always said, Rick had nowhere to go and no one wanted a fourteen year old anymore, he had to keep the younger kids safe so it was up to him to make sure that they got adopted or at least taken to a better place than this. God knew he would want that. 

“You won’t be given dinner tonight.” Sister Maude spoke and Rick felt a roll of nausea when he heard that. He already hadn’t eaten for most of the day. “You’ll go straight to your room and if I or any other Sister, must hear that horrific strumming, your guitar will be removed. Am I clear, Richard Jr?” 

He wanted to run. Run away and never come back, sink into the ground where his parents were and never come back up.

“Yes Sister Maude.”

~~~~

“Brian, please.”

Aunt Rebecca’s voice is hushed, like she doesn’t want Jennifer to hear her and Uncle Brian arguing. Or at least, her aunt arguing. Uncle Brian doesn’t seem to really wanting to argue back, which was odd and silly since Jennifer always liked to debate stuff, like when her and Dad would have a mock argument over the pros and cons of eating sugary pancakes for breakfast vs the gross healthy oatmeal Dad always wanted her to eat. 

“No Rebecca!” Uncle Brian’s voice was much more harsher and Jennifer was in bed, safe and sound, but she still tensed up and tried to not flinch. Bruce was sleeping on the floor in his own makeshift bed and she didn’t know if he was secretly awake too. “Every time we come here, I have to stand around and see what the hell Elaine lets her kid do, it’s disgusting, she should be ashamed of herself along with Morris.”

“Brian-” 

“We only come here because I want you to be happy and apparently what makes you happy is coming to see my family, bringing that wretched monster-” Jennifer’s heart clenched and she fought to look at Bruce. “And to remind me of everything I’ve been through? Isn’t that inconsiderate of you?”

She wants to tell Uncle Brian that he’s wrong. That Jennifer is a really good dancer and she can argue well and her hair is finally long enough to go into those pretty long braided ponytails. Aunt Rebecca was the best aunt, who took her and Bruce to the cool museum and one time that beach and aquarium, but Jennifer knew she wasn’t allowed to talk about that part to Uncle Brian ‘cause she knew that he wasn’t going to be happy about them going to such a cool place without him. 

Jennifer secretly thought that everything should have been done without Uncle Brian and they would all be for the better. Aunt Rebecca and Bruce wouldn’t have those awful bruises anymore and Bruce wouldn’t think that he was a monster. But Dad always got this weird look on his face and would glance at Mom and she would just turn away, scowling into the window and not smiling for the rest of the morning or afternoon. 

“We aren’t going to come here anymore.” Her uncle’s hushed voice drew Jennifer’s attention away form her thoughts again. “I don’t want to be here. I don’t want to see all of these reminders of being a fucking child again.” 

Aunt Rebecca must have tried to say something, because there was an odd noise before he kept on talking. “It’s sick. I feel sick looking at Elaine’s kid in those dresses. Everything here is sick and I have half a mind to know what’s causing it-”

His voice came closer then, like Uncle Brian was reaching for the door handle and wanting to come into her room. Jennifer pulled her covers up higher and she didn’t miss the hitching noise that came from the floor. The only thing that stopped her from calling out to her parents was when Aunt Rebecca’s voice rose somewhat. Not a lot. She never yelled as a choice. 

“Okay, okay.” Her voice sounded soothing now. “We’ll leave first thing tomorrow and- and you won’t have to come back here. I’ll make something up to Elaine and Morris.”

“Or you. I don’t want you coming here either, Rebecca. I need you with me.”

“...Okay.”

The voices faded away more from her door and Jennifer blinked in the dark. She didn’t feel tired anymore though, instead, Jennifer felt wide awake and like she had just missed a step of the stairs or like she was standing on a tall bridge, ready to fall at any moment. She wanted to say something, but Bruce had curled up further into his bed and Jennifer didn’t want to wake him up just in case he had been able to fall asleep. 

She didn’t think either of them would be able to sleep again if one of them said something. 

~~~~

The plumes of smoke rose into the air, forming from such intensive heat that Thad was shocked that it didn’t go anywhere further. The summer day was hot, the kind where you wanted to sit with some ice cold lemonade or to run as fast as you can through New Hampshire trails with friends laughing and chasing you, eager to win the game. 

Momma- Mom was waiting back at the farm where Mr Thomas was gonna show Thad those frogs by the river after he had helped her out with some chores Mom had shooed him away from, claiming that he was young enough to not have to worry about helping out so much. Thad wished that she would let him help, let him be useful enough around the house, especially now.

He had always liked red and orange and yellow. Warm colours, colours of war that Dad had always said fit Ross men. Aunt Betsy would always smile at these colours falling from the trees before threading her fingers with Uncle Jeff’s hands. 

These warm colours blended and danced together, threading into the sky in a swirling blaze that could bring tears to anyone’s eyes, even a man’s. 

The heat caught Thad strongly and even though he was standing far away enough for it to be safe, the heat still made it hard to breathe, like the air itself wanted to take everything away. 

But it already had done that, just not to Thaddeus. 

The roaring of the flames mixed with the odd ringing in his ears and while Thad couldn’t feel the energy to rub at them, he still winced slightly at the sound. The ringing was joined by a horrible screaming, the kind of screaming that you only heard once and never wanted to hear again ever. 

Henry was nearby, screaming and tearing at the ground and himself. He was strong for a ten year old, only a year older than Thad, due to the boxing lessons he took up. Thad would watch him sometimes and the sun on his face would only flush him further as he laughed and watched Henry hit the heavy sandbag. Henry offered to teach him some stuff and Thad found himself eager for it. 

Only now though, Henry didn’t seem to have any of that same easy-going assurance. His voice was raw from screaming for the past hour, struggling from where Mr Thomas has rushed over when the explosion hit and had immediately taken Henry into his arms, holding tight to ensure that the ten year old couldn’t run into the flames.

Henry wouldn’t look at Thad. Green eyes were glassy with terror and tears and he screamed harder towards the flame, directing Thad’s attention over to it.

He didn’t want to look. But Henry’s father was in the plane, the centre of fire, and he had finally stopped screaming himself. Thad looked and felt his chest clench with..something. He didn’t want to know what, didn’t want to give it a name as he stared into bloodshot and burning as his previously white skin went all sorts of hues of red and black, charring and burning and rotting away.

He stopped struggling and he stared and he gaped and Thad thought he would have screamed if he could. 

Mr Thomas screamed at Thad to get away and later on, his aunt and uncle and mother and Mr Thomas would fuss over him. Dad would slap him on the back and tell Thad that this was a lesson in shirking his duties for personal reasons. Thad would be sick and he would dream of burning red hues and charred skin for the rest of his life. He would look into a mirror one day and see the same horrible hues and blackened eyes staring back at himself.

For now, Thad stared.

~~~~

“God dammit, Robert,” Daddy’s voice was high and dizzy and Bruce maybe would have sounded the same way if he could talk right now. “What did you make me do?”

Mommy was on the floor and red coated the ground around her and tinted the top of her dress and Bruce wasn’t anywhere near her because Daddy was too close and Daddy would do the same to Robbie and he felt sick and he felt that feeling where he got angry and something made him want to scream and run but his legs felt too buzzy like the tv static and he couldn’t run there was nowhere-

“Look at me!”

The voice sounded like a monster now and Robbie stared up with wide eyes, glassy and wet and his chest heaved with everything bad in the world. Daddy had blood on his hands. 

He looked like he wanted to have Robbie’s blood on his hands too.

He felt sick. 

Robbie’s head didn’t feel like it was working right now and that was never a good thing when Daddy was staring and looking so angry. His green jacket was tainted now and Robbie was only glad that he didn’t have the same rushing feeling of the monster in his head - the other monster that wasn’t him - wanting to scream and hit Daddy back. 

“You made me do this. You made me into this.” Daddy snarled and he stunk of his drinks and Robbie couldn’t even flinch back without his head hitting into the car. “I could have been better, Robert. Rebecca was going to fix me. She was making me better and then you came along and it was all just a giant fucking reminder that I can never have anything good.” 

He stepped forward and this time Robbie’s head did smack into the car. He didn’t wince though, he had been hit harder.  

Daddy’s chest heaved and Robbie wished that a sorry could fix this all. He was sorry he was born and made Mommy feel like she had run away, sorry that he made Daddy so unhappy. But his head felt like it was full of cotton and thoughts slid away and feelings took their place of screaming grey static. 

Robbie’s eyes fell onto the green jacket Daddy wore, right where green was tinted with the red and they stayed there. 

He wished Daddy could say sorry for taking Mommy away though. 

Daddy loved Mommy, but he didn’t seem to care about the fact that Robbie loved her too. 

Mommy didn’t move from the ground. She must have been cold there and Daddy didn’t seem to know what to do about that. He stepped away, covered his mouth and paced for a little while. Robbie heard sirens and Daddy screamed into his hands, a muffled and agony filled noise that made Robbie flinch back again, a hollow bang following it easily. 

“You...” Daddy sounds hoarse now. The bad scary when he came into Robbie’s room sometimes, standing near the big monster and he would stare for an hour before leaving again. “You aren’t going to let them know it was me because it wasn’t, okay? It was you, it was always you!”

Stepping closer, Daddy seems to loom over him, the same way the scaled monster in Robbie’s room does. 

“You made me into this because that’s what monsters do. Rebecca...Rebecca loved you for some deluded reason and she wanted you to live so-” Daddy laughs wetly and Robbie wonders what’s so funny. “So you’re going to live. Live with what you did to me and her and you will never forget this, no matter what-” 

And then he leans down and Robbie stares into brown eyes that are dilated and he notices a smear of blood on Daddy’s cheek. “You’re heartless Robert. You kill everything near you, monster, but I won’t let you kill me.”

He stepped away then and the sirens were closer and Robbie felt like static grey and blood tinted green were all that he could feel and see. A small sob finally slipped out of him.

Robbie wished that he wasn’t the only monster, that maybe Jen or the monster in his head was real so they could be here and share a hug or try and help him take away some of that awful feeling in his chest.

He reached out a finger and caught it in the stiff pinkie of Mommy. She was still warm and even though Robbie wanted to hug her, he resisted that urge.

This was good enough for a monster like him.

~~~~

“No! Put it down, Phil!” Sam stared in horror and horror was the correct word right now because his brother was currently holding his most important book, the one that Mommy had given him before she left. 

She was going to be back soon, it had only been a week, but until then Sam had thought it would be good to keep the book she had given him safe, especially since she would want to read it with him when she got back. It was all about sharks and their different habitats and Mommy liked it when she could have fun talks with Sam afterwards and even about who would win in a shark fight to the death. 

But now, in his big brother’s hands, Sam feels his worrying problems push themselves to the front of his mind and he feels like it’s harder to breathe when he doesn’t have the book.

His brother wasn’t nice at times, the bruises up his chest and arms and the missing tooth proved that, Although Mommy and Dad said a lot that it was an accident, right? And Phil was nicer when Sam agreed that it was an accident. Phil didn’t mean to play so roughly, or to push Sam about hard enough for him to get hurt, but it still sent thrums of panic up his back to see his book in Phil’s hands. 

“Why should I?” Phil was already taller than him by lots, despite being thirteen. He grew a lot over the summer and that only served to make him so much more scary when Sam was still eight and waiting for his own growth spurt. Sam tried to keep it to himself, but maybe Phil knew, especially when he got this weird smile on his face when he stepped closer and Sam had to look up. 

“Mommy gave me-”

“Mommy gave me!” Phil copies him and he makes his voice so much higher than it needed to be and Sam’s face feels hot and awful at it. “Do you hear yourself? All this talk of being some sort of big boy now and you’re still too stupid to know that Mom isn’t coming back.”

“She is!” Sam argues back and he feels his chest clench already, panic and bad ideas forming at the words. 

What if she wasn’t coming back? What if she got hurt and couldn’t and-

What if she didn’t want to come back?

Phil seems to catch some sort of look on Sam’s face and his smile turns ugly and Sam wants to back away and run but Phil still has his book and the last time he did that, his brother had grabbed him by his then-long hair and had yanked hard enough that Sam had a headache for hours. It was part of the reason why Sam had gotten Momm- Mom to cut it all off. 

“She doesn’t want to come back and why would she?” Phil stepped closer and jabbed a finger into Sam’s chest, ignoring the small cry of pain. “Dad just sits on his ass all day and only gets up to yell at us now, nothing I do ever seems to be good enough for him or her and don’t even get me started on you!”

Maybe he shouldn’t ask, but Sam’s chest feels so tight now and he knows he should try the breathing exercises Mom tried to show him, but he can’t right now. Everything is piling up more and more, like the dishes in the kitchen that are starting to smell. 

“What about me?”

“You, Sam Sterns, are a freak.” Phil practically spits the word and Sam tries to not flinch. “You’re annoying and talk so goddamn much so no wonder Mom wanted to leave when you’re always causing problems over being scared of everything or wanting to look different and I’m so fucking sick of sharks!”

He swore and Sam stared with wide eyes, but a wail escaped him when Phil seemed to reach the height of his anger and ripped out pages of the book. Sam reached over for it but Phil shoved his hand into Sam’s face and roughly shoved him away, ripping more pages out and chucking them into the mud.

His book was ruined. The pages were too torn up now and dirty to read and nothing would fix it. Tears rose to Sam’s face and he shoved a hand into his mouth to bite down on the oncoming sob from his book being ruined. The hurt in his chest grew and he felt like screaming and he was shaking now, hands reaching down to touched the ruin pages and his fingers shook as he touched muddy ruined words. 

He didn’t want to say anything else, not when breathing was so hard right now and his face felt flushed. Phil just stood over him and he knew that he was going to have worse. 

Later that night, after a trip to the medial room, Dad didn’t even bother asking how Sam broke his wrist. The mud and tears and ruined book seemed to be enough for him.

#Found in body but lost in mind (Skaar) #fic #movie star (Rick) #green goddess (Jen) #one man army (Red) #the man inside the monster (Bruce) #he swims in a sea of regret (samuel) #tw child abuse #tw child abandonment #tw transphobia #tw injury #tw death #tw sister maude/brian banner/phil sterns amiright #ngl i wanted to do the smoking one for red SO BAD #and tbh i don't like skaar and rick's but that was just because their ones started out as small fics ughh #love red and bruce's one tho #pay my onlyangst's and maybe i'll write a happy version ksksksksks