#and that wolfe said he would’ve done the same thing jess did | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

snarkwrites · 3 years

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mine | tim speedle | csi:miami

Notes:

Okay, so here’s the thing.. Those smutty one shots and the one shot I wrote at Christmas about Tim Speedle and an ofc who was an old girlfriend? They were originally part of this huge backstory I came up with years ago too and like.. Given that I’m posting the backstory in bits for Greg, I thought why not do the same for Tim. So, if you were ever wondering where the OC from the christmas one shot came from.. This is her. A little more thought out and less vague. Anything not explained there, or in the smut I’ve already posted and plan to post eventually, will be explained here.. Because fuckkit.. Might as well make this a chapter thing too...

Pairing:

Tim Speedle x OFC, Sylvie.

Warnings:

Uhh.. Angst and unresolved feelings at first. Filth you’ve all already seen but more to come.. Maybe a little action and suspense? because I have plans for this one, mhm.

Oh. Right off the bat.. Ya’ll are not gonna like Ryan Wolfe in here at first if I’ve done my job properly. Because as it went on the show, he’s gonna be... hard to warm to here. I chose to keep him in and have him, as well as Cardoza and others, working on the shift opposite of Tim.

Tagging:

@chasingeverybreakingwave

@twistnet

[ faq | tag list doc | soundtrack ]

ONE.

“Damn. Are you even gonna open this and humor a thought of going?” Eric waved around the class reunion invite that Tim had gotten in the mail and tossed on the counter. From across the room, Tim continued to dig around in the fridge, trying to find the case of beer he’d picked up on his way in.

He was refusing to answer the question.

Grabbing the case of beer, he sat them on the folding table they’d set up in the living room to play poker at and he took a beer out for himself, popping it against the counter, taking a long sip from the bottle.

Eric was already in the kitchen. Throwing together the traditional go to sandwich for their poker nights.

“Hey, that new guy’s not comin, right?”

“Wolfe? Yeah.. I think Walter with his big mouth invited him.”

“Goddamn it.” Tim swore, grumbling. “There’s just something off about the guy, I’m telling you.”

“Either way, it’s not our problem, man. He’s on the other shift, remember? Are you gonna answer my question, Speed, or do I have to drag the answer out of you, buddy?” Eric asked, giving Tim a pointed look.

Walter stepped into Tim’s apartment with Ryan coming into view right behind him. Tim’s jaw set and when Walter asked “Drag what answer out of Speed, man? What’d I miss?” as he wandered over to grab himself a beer and take a seat at the table, Tim shrugged. “It’s nothing, Walt. Forget Eric here ran his big fuckin mouth.”

“Doesn’t sound like nothin, you grouch.” Eric remarked, chuckling when Tim gave him what he thought was a silencing glare. As per usual, it did not work.

Ryan, the new guy, spoke up from over nearby Tim’s fridge, nodding to a photo booth strip held on by a magnet. “Is this your girl, Speed? Damn… you never mentioned you were seeing a model.” as he shook his head and let out a low and appreciative whistle.

Eric’s gaze settled on the photo strip and then back on Tim. Tim was all but trying not to explode. Getting defensive and touchy as he tended to whenever that particular strip of photos came into a conversation. He tried to give Ryan the subtlest shake of the head no, but it was too late.

Tim was already lost to thought, dwelling on the past.

Ryan eyed him, a brow raised. “Sore subject?” he questioned. Eric glared at Ryan and grumbled, giving Tim a silent look of agreement about the new guy. Tim nodded and smirked, mouthing back “Told you so, idiot.” before fixing his gaze on Ryan and shrugging. “Not really, no. We dated for a while.”

“High school and college.” Eric spoke up, ignoring Tim’s glare. “What? It’s true, right? That’s not just a while, Tim. That’s literally almost a decade, man.”

“Are you going to let me answer the guy Eric,or nah?” Tim asked, giving Eric another pointed glare as he took the worn deck of cards and shuffled them a few times, starting to deal. When Eric went quiet, Tim continued. “I took the job here. We broke up.”

“The man is lying. What happened was he didn’t ask her to come with and she didn’t try to stop him. So they never actually broke up. They just lost touch. And if you got that invite man, maybe…”

“Invite to what?” Ryan asked, an amused look as he fixed his gaze on Tim. So far, he got the suspicion that neither Tim nor Eric were particularly warming up to him, but it didn’t really matter. He was there because Walter asked if he wanted to play a few hands. And given that of everyone they worked with, so far Walter was the only real welcoming member of the forensics team on either shift, he wasn’t about to turn it down.

If nothing, he figured, he could show Eric and Tim up in a game or two and then leave… Unless the current conversation and it’s effect on Tim Speedle proved to be too interesting and amusing to continue to pass up.

“Class reunion. If I wanted to go back and listen to a bunch of douchebag jocks talk about their glory days, I’d go.” Tim answered, grumbling and shifting around in his chair, wondering when in the hell they were all going to get off the subject.

“She might be there man, you never know.”

“Eric, if it were going to work out in the first place, one of us would’ve said or done something. We wouldn’t have just left it the way it was.” Tim pointed out. Turning his attention to his hand as he rubbed his chin thoughtfully, brown eyes carefully surveying the other men around the table.

He smirked when he realized that of them all, the only one who was really good at keeping a consistent poker face was Eric. Then again, Tim thought to himself, Eric knows me too well. He knows I learned how to read him like a book years ago.

“She’s in Miami right now, actually. I saw her in the lobby of that high end hotel earlier today when our team got called to work that double homicide.” Ryan smirked as he just casually dropped the bombshell. Holding Tim’s gaze a few seconds. Trying to get a read on the guy, see if he might have a winning hand this round.

Tim nearly choked on the sip of Michelob he’d taken and eyed Ryan. The guy had to be trying to bullshit him. Probably to cover for his lack of a poker face, Tim mused, smirking at Ryan as he did so. “She lives in New York, buddy. You probably saw somebody who looked like her. I doubt you saw her.”

“Oh trust me… You don’t see a girl like that a time or two and confuse her with somebody else.” Ryan smirked right back, waiting on his words to hit the intended mark before dropping the bigger bombshell. “Her name is Sylvie, right? Because that’s what the frat boys hounding her for selfies and autographs called her.”

Just the slightest drop of Tim Speedle’s jaw was enough to make Ryan’s entire night. At this point, he was just genuinely enjoying having a rib at the guy. It wasn’t a secret around the lab that Eric Delko and Tim Speedle were nothing if not tight knit. That’s why it surprised more than a few people when the two seemed to just welcome Walter with open arms and no hesitation. And yet, they went above and beyond to cop snide attitudes with both himself and another man he worked with, Jesse Cardoza.

Tim eyed Ryan, a brow raised. Then he just shrugged. “It’s your play, Wolfe.” he barely managed to unclench his jaw enough to say it, but he did. He hoped that his tone would clearly indicate that for tonight, the topic was over. Even though he knew already that no thanks to Ryan’s words, tonight was going to be a long one for him…

Was she really in Miami? Or was Ryan just being an asshole as per usual?...

,, he’s gotta be saying it to get a rise and more of the story outta me… that’s it... unless she’s here. She does travel a lot, man.. Your ma is always real quick to tell you about every single move she makes when you call back home every Sunday.” Tim shoved the intrusive thought out of his head and it was immediately followed by another. ,, It’s been years and nothing but silence. Neither of us tried to keep in touch and it’s not like we couldn’t... But.. she did come to you in the hospital that first few nights... if she wanted you to know she was there, she would have stayed, just drop the what ifs or you’re going to lose your goddamn mind.”

Ryan made his call and Tim smirked, shoving some more chips into the middle of the table. “I see your King and raise you.”

Eric nearly spat his drink. He eyed Ryan, wondering if the guy had any idea of the wrath he’d probably just unleashed on himself by pushing buttons as openly as he had been. And he felt bad for the guy. Just because he worked with Cardoza, it didn’t necessarily make him the same.

He leaned in and offered up a quiet warning into Ryan’s ear when Tim got up to go and grab himself one of the Cuban sandwiches sitting on a plate near the stove. “You might want to lay off, Wolfe. Tim’s still hurting and bitter as hell about her, but too damn stubborn to do anything.”

“Which is fucking stupid, if you ask me.” Ryan answered, gazing across the room, smirking as he called out to Tim, “Hey, can I get another beer, man?”

Tim gave him the finger and flopped back into his chair, taking a few bites of his sandwich. “If you get up and get it, yeah. By all means.” Tim chuckled as Ryan gave him a dirty look, but after a little grumbling, he got up and grabbed himself a beer.

“What would you do if she was in town, man?” Eric was the one who asked the question.

Tim pretended not to hear him, but it wasn’t something that he wasn’t already wondering about himself. Did he even really need -or deserve for that matter, to do anything?

XXX

“6 am, sharp.”

“Rex if you remind me one more time about this stupid photo shoot, I swear to fuck, I’ll cancel. I came to Miami to relax. Not be hounded and have gigs booked for me. This was supposed to be my vacation, you’re literally not even supposed to be here.” I rolled onto my stomach on the hotel bed. The patio doors were open and the breeze blowing in off the ocean was relaxing.

Or it had been until Rex felt fit to show up and ruin things.

To be fair, I thought to myself, you’re the one who won’t just tell the guy that you’re not re-signing with his agency when your contract ends. But he seriously couldn’t take a fucking hint when I left on a red-eye and didn’t think he should know?

I was flipping through the television when I happened on a local news show. And they were showing an interview at Miami Dade PD about a pending case that was pretty huge in the media right now.

But that wasn’t what was catching my attention at all.

My eyes fixed on the five seconds glimpse I got of Tim as he hurried into the station. So handsome that I could feel my heart breaking all over again at the sight of him. I sighed and turned off the television.

I wound up on the balcony, staring down at the streets below. Wondering what he was doing right now.. Trying to imagine just how differently everything might have actually gone if I’d been braver back then. If I’d spoken up. Told him that I loved him and I didn’t want to lose touch or for us to be over.

I could’ve come with him.

And then I remembered the fear I felt the night my mom called me, fresh off the phone with his mom… The night I almost lost him.

And I remembered the feeling I felt when I finally made it to his side, a whole two days later. Seeing him lying there in that bed, hovering between life and death. The fear that he’d wake up and he’d want me to leave over-ruling every basic instinct in me that was telling me to stay. Take care of him. At the very least, get some closure. I didn’t deserve him then and the fact remained.

I don’t deserve him now, either. And too much time has gone by... I’d lost any right to tell him how I felt now. He probably had his own happy life. A better one. Who would I be to come in and lay it all on the line and destroy that?

If I’m being truly honest with myself here, I’ve never actually deserved Tim Speedle. And I’ve always known it. It’s why I had to let him go back then and a big reason why I was fighting myself so hard to keep from going to him now.

But I wanted him so badly. I needed him.

Everything felt wrong without him. I tried to move on, I tried convincing myself he was a high school and college boyfriend and my best childhood friend before that, but deep down, I knew.

Tim Speedle was, is and will always be, the man I love.

But I’m not good enough for him and hopefully, he’s moved on by now. God I hope he’s happy.

The thought had me taking a few shaky breaths and wiping away a tear that had been lingering in my eyes, threatening to roll down my cheek. I wandered back inside and even though I knew it wasn’t a good idea… I found myself searching his name.

Biting my lip as my heart skipped a beat or two when I realized that his phone number was still the same. And it was listed, not private.

I’m not exactly sure why, but I went to my contacts. And for a good ten minutes, I hovered over his name… I actually went as far as to pull up the conversation box and read over the last conversation we had. Before I realized it, I was crying again and that empty feeling was creeping back in…

,, you came all the way to Miami. You can’t keep living like this…” my brain taunted me. And then, another thought crept in, ,, if you wanted him, you shouldn’t have just let him leave without saying so. All you had to do was tell him you wanted to come. What, were you expecting some flowery proposal? For him to drop the chance of a lifetime for you? And what if he had, huh? What then? You know he would’ve hated you and by now, you two would be over… Nobody ever stays...Your own father couldn’t even be bothered to stick around, Syl… The man has probably forgotten all about you by now.” and before my mind got any darker, I slipped off the bed and grabbed my favorite jacket. Maybe taking a ride down to the Keys would help me get this off my mind. Or driving a few blocks over, going to the beach to look at the stars.

All I did know was that suddenly, it felt like the very vast and open space in this 5 star hotel room was rapidly closing all around me.

#tim speedle fanfiction #tim speedle fanfic #tim speedle fic #tim speedle imagine #tim speedle imagines #my writing ; tim speedle #my fanfiction ; tim speedle #my fics ; tim speedle #// so.. here we go.

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elusetta · 5 years

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"It's a human thing, wanting what you can't have..." Strongson!

Tysm for the prompt Parker!!! This got out of hand. Pirate AU! I didn’t really have any reasoning behind this, so I’m sorry if it’s a bit incoherent. :) Hope it lives up to your expectations!

The cutlass on Hudson’s hip was as comforting as an old friend, and the sea wind at her cheek an old comfort that had been there, present, always listening, since her childhood. Yet still, there was a delicate sort of darkness that lingered in the depths of her mind, reminding her of dark rooms and low ceilings and cold steel against her skin. Reminding her that this was still new.

Although it wasn’t. This was new in the sense that it was known to her once again, after weeks of being imprisoned by that fucking brother. She had forgotten it- well, not quite; she could never truly forget the only thing she admitted to loving. This ship was her home. The ocean past it was her world. And in the grand scheme of things, that was really all that mattered.

A week had passed since her escape. She could never have done it without help. She hadn’t intended on it, until…

Until…

The salted breeze carried a familiar presence with it. Hudson turned and met the eyes of Grace.

“How are you holding up?” Grace asked softly, her eyes bearing a dark concern along with the sort of wariness one would expect from a hunter approaching a wolf.

Hudson smiled tightly.

That was her contradiction, right there. The captain of the Divine Lamb, Grace Armstrong, soldier turned pirate waging war against the Eden fleet. Hudson always claimed that her home was in the sea, and the sea alone, but Grace was her rebuttal. How could she claim that this ship was her home, that the life of the voyaging adventuress was all that mattered to her, when the woman who had made it so was standing next to her?

Grace had seen her, the city guard who had let heroics get a little bit too deep into her head. Grace had helped her escape Joseph when he had captured her the first time. Grace had given her the means and motivation to keep fighting. Grace had given her a home.

“I’m okay,” Hudson replied. “I will be, I mean. John didn’t do much to me.”

“Scare tactics,” Grace muttered. “That man’s a fucking coward.”

Hudson laughed and ran her finger along the edge of her blade, trying to convince herself that she had nothing to be scared of. “He’s a coward, but he’s ruthless.”

Grace must have seen the past in Hudson’s eyes again, because she changed her tone and subject, the care in her voice the same as it had been when she had first recovered Hudson out of the Affirmation. “If there’s anything you need, you know I’m- I’m here.”

Hudson didn’t need anything. She wanted something, sure; she wanted Grace to come to her quarters every night, she wanted Grace to kiss her senseless right then and there, she wanted Grace to tell her everything would be the same as it had always been. But there was nothing that she needed.

“I’m okay,” she said coolly, and Grace left it alone.

The night was cold, and somehow, the interior of the room that Hudson had been lucky enough to acquire was even colder. They’d made port for the night in one of the only safe cities left: Fall’s End. Mary May, the innkeeper and an old friend, was always willing to give her a place to stay; after all, Hudson had been the one who’d saved her and the inn from Eden all that time ago. Mary May hadn’t exactly approved of the shift in career when Hudson had first joined Grace at the helm of the Divine Lamb, but she had understood. She always understood. That was one of the reasons that Hudson liked her so much.

So when Hudson had come into the inn, more distant than usual, with a cold look on her face, Mary May hadn’t really asked any questions. She’d just ushered her upstairs and told her what they’d be having for dinner that night.

Frankly, the Divine Lamb was beginning to feel like an emotional deathtrap. Hudson spent every day either tortured by the memories she pretended didn’t bother her at all, or being menaced by the thoughts of a future that would never come. A future that simply wasn’t in the cards, no matter which way she spun it. A future with Grace.

Hudson breathed out, spreading her fingers in the air above her face and watching the light flicker around them. Wasn’t quite nightfall yet, but it would be soon. And in a couple of days, the ship would depart once again, Grace standing strong at the prow.

Hudson wouldn’t be on it.

A drop of unhappiness flickered in Hudson’s chest. But she’d never been one to second-guess herself. This was what she needed. She’d rejoin the guard force of the cities, go back to her everyday life of patrolling. Make up some crazy story to tell the people who had once been her friends. She’d tell them she’d gotten kidnapped, put into a boat full of pirates. Pirates like the Black Huntress, scarred and burned and brusque as the winter itself. Pirates like the woman who went only by the name of Rook, explosive and passionate and everything Hudson could ever ask for in a friend. She’d tell them that she had found herself in a life of adventures that had passed the threshold of her wildest dreams. She’d tell them she’d found life- a life she wanted.

She’d tell them that she’d loved and left a pirate queen.

Wouldn’t they get a kick out of that?

Hudson startled back into reality at the sound of Mary May’s knock on her door. “Dinner’s ready,” the innkeeper said, shutting the door as quickly as she’d opened it.

A cool breeze came through the window, and Hudson found that her cheeks were wet with tears. She wiped them off, sat up, and breathed in a shaky resolve that she knew would dissipate with the right words.

She couldn’t do this. It wasn’t pain, but it was strain, and her heart had never been ready to fight this hard.

The Divine Lamb departed from the port to fanfare from the resistance. Brave people, the citizens of Fall’s End. Brave enough to resist Eden when the rest of the kingdom was practically under its thumb already. Not to mention strong. It was no ordinary townsfolk that would fight tooth and nail to preserve a home that so many others had abandoned.

Hudson weighed her cutlass in her hand and wished that she could stave off the feeling in her stomach. A wild, violent urge to run clear across the town square and throw herself into Grace’s arms, back into the life that she knew she had to let go.

What were her options? What was she meant to do, when every direction she turned to threw her headfirst into another dilemma? She couldn’t go back to the ship; it had Grace, it had every reminder of the tortures she’d endured on the Affirmation. She couldn’t stay here; she’d lose everything she loved.

But given the choice that wasn’t a choice, given the choice that would rip her heart out one way or another, Hudson had always been better at loss. Lose everything, or risk everything and then lose everything. Why not take the more straightforward path to desolation?

She hadn’t come out of the room above the inn for the whole night, and had remained there for the morning. Now, watching the ship, her ship, sail into the golden waters of the sun, Hudson knew that if she left the room, she wouldn’t be able to restrain herself from pursuing it.

And then, from the wall of the inn, came a noise.

Something solid. Something heavy. Something that turned into a muttered swear word in a familiar voice.

Hudson stared at the window and tried to stop herself from investigating.

A shape appeared on the other side of the glass. Two eyes, familiar and beckoning as the eastern horizon; dark skin that was weathered by days of sun and salt; the cast of a smile on the lips.

Grace pulled herself through the window. “You’re running a little bit late.”

Hudson stared, and stared, and finally sat down in one heavy motion on the bed. A moment passed, and then another, and eventually, all she could manage to say was “Why?”

Grace sat next to her without a second thought. “I could ask you the same thing.”

Hudson glared at her hands, and when Grace showed no signs of budging, let out a resigned breath. “I couldn’t take it anymore.”

“The ship?” Grace asked, shaking her head. “I knew John hurt you more than you said. I guess I just hoped-”

“Not the ship, Grace,” Hudson said in a bitter laugh. “More like who was on it.”

“You mean Jess? I know she’s rough around the edges, and she hadn’t been too nice to you, but-”

Hudson shook her head. Maybe, if she hadn’t spent the past week boiling alive in her own emotions, this situation would’ve been funny. But, as the circumstances stood, it was nothing but a kick in the teeth. “You, Grace.”

Grace sat in a stunned silence, and Hudson felt herself compelled to continue. “I guess… I guess it’s a human thing, wanting what you can’t have,” she said reluctantly. “I mean, I always knew it was there, but now… I mean, after seeing you ride in to save me from that goddamned ship like some kind of hero… I just… I guess it was finally done stewing.”

Grace found her voice. “What was?”

Willing her voice not to shake, Hudson brought it into the light. The reason, the impetus, the prison that had kept her. “My… feelings. For you. Feelings… for you.” She coughed, not daring to look at the woman beside her. “I’d known for a while, but… since we’re not on the ship anymore, and since I’m probably not coming back, I guess I can just say it.” Her eyes darted around, seeking something to catch on. “I… I think I love you, Grace. At least, that’s what I… that’s what I’d guess this is, considering what it did to me.”

After a pause that seemed to last forever, Grace responded. “And that made you leave?”

“Well, yeah,” Hudson said, shifting on the bed. “I mean, I can’t imagine it would be good for morale, having the first mate in love with the captain.”

Grace’s fingers tapped out a rhythm on the blankets. “And what about the captain being in love with the first mate?”

That, Hudson realized with a shock at the base of her spine, she hadn’t considered.

“…Maybe that would be a different story,” she finally answered.

Their hands found each other. Hudson’s lips curved into a smile for the first time in such a long time.

“Wait- the ship!” She untangled her fingers from Grace’s and darted to the window. The Divine Lamb was already disappearing into the sun. “Fuck, she’s gone. We’ll be here for hours. Maybe even days.”

Grace grinned at her. “I can think of a couple ways to kill the time.”

#far cry 5 #grace armstrong #joey hudson #far cry 5 fanfiction #writing #my writing

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