#and therapy is ending in like 5 more appointments so im very screwed 🥲

[aqent8]

they need to invent people that make me feel at ease, safe and love me unconditionally

#😩 #set up a dating profile got two matches after rejecting like half the site for an hour and they were both so cute but i unmatched them #and closed my profile and im pretty sure the site lets you see the message you sent and that yiu unmatched/blocked them so thats awkward af #💀 #i just realized im a freak and undeserving of love teehee and that i have intense trust and attachment issues #but man i keep thinking about it cause one guy was so stupid cheesy its adorable and the other played guitar and was super chill and wants #to watch all of shrek for a first date #i need a silly guy i trust n love or ill go mad 😭 #but i cant #logically ik everyones deserving of love and i have proof of being considered attractive and fun and interesting but god ive been #conditioned my entire life to think of those things as lies and that the only truth is im unlovable and undeserving of any positive #experience #and therapy is ending in like 5 more appointments so im very screwed 🥲 #its so fucking unfair that childhood abuse isnt the worst part of childhood abuse its surviving long enough to experience the psychological #issues it caused :I #txt