#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

i started naruto a few years ago and made it to like the second arc in shippuden before stopping so i never made it to the kakashi backstory but....your notes compel me. tell me more.

okay so like take this with several grains of salt because the sum total of my sources here are "my understanding of the plot and characters as synthesized from the Abridged Revised Illustrated Edition my datemate's been writing me over the last two months", a handful of clips, and the only three (3) episodes of this 600+ episode show i've seen in my life, none of the three of which were relevant to the kakashi backstory

h o w e v e r

oh my god. my dude. my man. [holds him up like longcat] there is so much wrong with you and i'm enthralled.

so like here's the thing. here's the big takeaway that i'm understanding. this whole series is an ongoing exercise in generational trauma bullshit and everyone trying so hard to course-correct from their own tragic backstories that they accidentally set up their kids/students to have completely different but still somehow exactly the same tragic backstories, and naruto's chronic case of shounen anime power-of-friendship-itis is, i mean. yes it's him being the platonic ideal of Pure Of Heart And Dumb Of Ass but it's also a direct response to seeing ninja society's perpetual tragic backstory generator and going "this is bullshit, why are we even fighting? tell me what your side is, and i'll tell you what our side is, and then we can figure out how to make our sides the same side so none of us have to fight about it at all!" and honestly i love that but this ain't about him

so like. to explain kakashi we have to explain kakashi's father sakumo first. because sakumo was one of konoha's powerhouses, been on tons of successful missions, well-liked, well-respected, one of the earliest and loudest adopters of konoha's then-new and radical pivot towards a ninja being people first and disposable tools never ideology.

he really, genuinely believed in that.

except then he and his team went on a mission. and it went really, really badly. and he had to choose between completing the mission objective or saving his teammates' lives, and he chose their lives, because those who fail their missions may be scum, but those who abandon their teammates are worse, right?

... no, actually.

just because the ideology had been circulating and people were broadly toeing the party line didn't mean they actually believed in it, and sakumo's mission failure was already causing critical backlash.after sakumo made it back to konoha he was a fucking pariah for it. he was never officially reprimanded, but he didn't need to be if people went out of their way to personally spit at his feet, and... one day young kakashi comes home to find his father's body on the floor, wrists slit and suicide note devolving into begging apologies beside him.

this, as you may imagine, fucked him up, and didn't exactly predispose him towards believing the party line about the value of life.

he gets put on a genin team that was. basically the alpha build of the sasuke-sakura-naruto team dynamic. because it was him, and rin the healer girl with a massive crush on him who he never gave the time of day, and obito the Loudest High-Vis Uchiha Who Ever Lived who had a massive crush on her, and minato their teacher who was doing his absolute best to try and get them through to understanding each other, which is an Ordeal

because kakashi at this point has internalized that the party line is pretty lies for the gullible, that his teammates are only there to drag him down, and it drives obito nuts because that's the same exact bullshit that his family keeps spouting that he's rejected as thoroughly as a 12.9-year-old can, how does kakashi not see that it's bullshit? and there's rin who's looking at kakashi like i can fix him?? and getting upset when he doesn't let them in at all or even really visibly care that they're trying, and it's one hell of a dysfunction junction but minato is working on it.

... and then the worst happens. their team is caught out alone and everything goes wrong. rin is captured and obito's body is half-crushed under a rock and one of kakashi's eyes got slashed out and none of them are going to make it out of this, at this rate, until obito calls kakashi closer and tells him to take his eye. take the sharingan. he'd give him both but the other one got squished. kakashi will do more with it than obito ever did, so use it to save rin. please. and here's kakashi in the middle of field surgery on his dying teammate finally, horribly realizing that sometimes the win condition is, actually, protecting your friends, and he's already lost. but he can still try to save rin, it was obito's dying wish.

by the time he found her it was already too late.

the people who'd captured her had tried, poorly, hastily, messily, to seal one of the Tailed Beasts into her, and she was already dying. she had a demon thrashing in her soul that was tearing her to shreds around it and all kakashi could do was mercy kill her

and she thanked him for it.

and he goes back to konoha, sole survivor of his team, charred by the newfound comprehension of why you have to care and what it feels like to lose what you love and with obito's sharingan in his head and rin's blood on his hands and something in him that was already hanging on by a thread finally snapped.

and the only thing he could think to do, the only way he could even parse that grief through, is to just... make himself into a living memorial to them. he started trying to live as obito. adopt his mannerisms, his interests, craft his entire adult persona around his memories of his friend like a grave offering, and quarantine the bleakly mercenary anything-to-get-the-job-done ice in him off into the hound mask he wore as part of konoha's black ops division, which he joined at the ripe old age of way too fucking young.

he uses the sharingan to incredibly brutally efficient effect, copying enemy jutsus and bringing them back until the library's overflowing with them. but in the end, no matter how many he can technically use, they're still just cheap copies. and so is he.

and in the meantime the uchiha are collectively losing their shit about this random outside kid having one of their eyes in his head and getting all kinds of dubious 'glory' with it, and oh, wouldn't you look at that, they have a prodigy too!

... yeah.

itachi gets shoved through the rank advancements on a timeframe of "whatever he did you have to do it faster and better." and then the kyuubi broke free. and minato and kushina died, and a fuckton of the home guard uchiha died, and suddenly he's the most able-bodied fighter in their clan overnight at age 11 and the uchiha pull strings to get him into ANBU as well.

and kakashi is his teammate.

kakashi is his teammate and kakashi sees in itachi a whole awful lot of the edges of the way kakashi used to be, sees itachi trying to live up to and embody the absolutely impossible ideal of the perfect ninja, and he tries so god damn hard to nudge him gently towards something, anything, other than that.

but in the meantime, the uchiha have been... scheming. with danzo, Guy With The World's Biggest Chip On His Shoulder About Not Being Hokage, who's been marinating in a paranoia spiral for years. danzo had tried to set himself up as kakashi's palpatine, and tried to get him to assassinate hiruzen, and kakashi hears him out, and turns right around and goes to hiruzen with it instead, and danzo is pissed. the uchiha are pissed. danzo warns hiruzen that they're almost definitely going to try again and they're gonna make the uchihas' little prodigy do it this time, and kakashi silently braces to have to fight and maybe kill his teammate he was trying so hard for, and then...

and then itachi, who'd been watching his clan get. worse. for a long time. finds his cousin shisui, his best friend shishui, bleeding out in the dirt, who tells him everything, tells him danzo tried to have shisui killed for finding it out, and it worked, he's dying, but he's not dead yet, so please. make it count.

.......................................... And Then The Uchiha Massacre.

and now itachi is one more person that kakashi tried to care about who got destroyed.

and then fast forward a little bit further, he's been retired from active-duty ANBU after a decade-plus of service because the sharingan is starting to burn him out, he's starting to lurch to a halt like unwound clockwork without something to Do, and... he gets given team seven. the worst of konoha's gremlin children.

a bitter, disillusioned loner with a chip on his shoulder and the skill to back it up, the healer girl with a crush on him that he never gives the time of day, and the Loudest High-Vis Pest In The Village.

you see where this is going.

kakashi who at this point has been coasting along by bouncing between mask-personae for years is now having to dynamically engage with life again because if he isn't present and actively responding to his team then there's a nonzero chance he'll turn around to find all three of them chewing on the drywall and he cannot default to scripted responses because they don't work on a pack of middle schoolers hellbent on squabbling til the cows come home. and it's kind of good for him?

but also, uh. [gestures broadly towards... Sasuke(TM) and the rest of the plot]

and yeah i'm not gonna get too much further into it because i'm not confident enough in my own comprehension of the timeline to do that XD but like.

hatake kakashi is a scarecrow of a man stitched together out of his dead best friend, a hunting hound, and his dead best friend again, who's spent his entire life behind one mask or another, who over the course of the series keeps surviving shit that by all odds he shouldn't have, or survives specifically because the people he cares about throw their plot armor around him before they die, and he has a personality mostly composed of the crumpled-up pages of the memetically worst-written trashy bodice-ripper novels ever published because obito used to love them and the inexplicable receipts of other people's love for him, and i want to put him in a gas station hot dog roller and perceive him.

thank you for coming to my ted talk XD

#answered asks by cwaf #snorlaxlovesme #kakashi hatake #naruto #yeah so like this very much is a thirdhand synthesis Take on it XD but oh my god. holy shit #this series is a masterclass in what is quite possibly the oldest story beat humanity has ever had #which is 'growing up realizing that your adult is fucked up because Their Adult was fucked up because THEIR ADULT was fucked up' #'and responding to it by either becoming them; becoming as different from them as possible; or a secret third thing' #anyway here i am showing up to the weeb-ubiquitous kakashi stan phase 20 years late with starbucks lmao #mr from-accounting you have so many things wrong with you and i love that for me

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

You reblogged a dewy spiderweb photoset the other day and commented you made a shawl inspired by that once. Tell us about that, do you have pictures? 👀

I DO ACTUALLY okay so like here's the thing you gotta Understand about me, i get. Intense. about gifts. and when i had my Defining The Relationship conversation with my long-distance then-friend now-datemate (of now over four years!! i love them so much, i'm so happy :D) it happened in february of 2020, so uh. all of our travel plans were pretty immediately kaput due to covid. which meant that i was getting returns on interest on my pent-up first-meeting-in-person, and it had to go SOMEWHERE

so i uh. might. maybe. have gone slightly overboard making them a courting gift, while we waited.

they'd started using spider imagery for me as an endearment after a while of seeing the kinds of stuff i liked to make, so when i found this pattern on ravelry i got a little obsessed with it because doesn't it just vibe like a dewy spiderweb, though??

i had a good couple skeins of this really lovely llama/silk blend yarn (now tragically discontinued, RIP to juniper moon stargazer) that i had intended to use to make a cardigan for someone who ultimately blacklisted herself from my knitworthy-people list, but that's besides the point, because the POINT IS that i found myself staring at the ~1800 yards of it that i had, and the little jars of vintage wooden beads i'd picked up at a flea market ages ago, and uh. look. they didn't NOT remind me of a cute lil jumping spider when i sat them next to each other, is the thing, and the yarn was SO cozy soft, and uh

it turned out B I G

out of all that yardage i literally only had LESS THAN A FOOT left after the bind-off, so i think i pretty successfully won that round of yarn chicken XD

i ended up going even MORE overboard with gifts when i did finally get to meet them in person, because in the meantime i'd made a cedar box with fancy grain matching to put the shawl in and decided THAT wasn't enough so i packed mugs, looseleaf tea, teaspoon measure, animal tea infusers, a family friend's homemade bread, homemade plum chutney, three kinds of cheese (two of which were from the dairy farm i worked at for a year), a cutting board to put all that on, fancy chocolates from the airport, a worksheet with measurements for a sweater to make them later, and a few other odds and ends, along with pillaging the landscaping around the hotel for greenery accents XD

and the funny part is, the way the room was laid out you couldn't immediately see the bed from right inside the doorway, it's around the corner to the left, so when they walked through the door and saw all this and were like "is this your version of a trail of rose petals leading to the bed? XD" i was like "wellllllll,"

"maybe a little bit yeah :3"

and they just cracked up XD

#answered asks by cwaf #procrastiknitting #thank you for asking :DDD i love yelling about my knitting #i have a sideblog about it actually!! #tumblr @dawnthread #i'm gonna reblog this over there too

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

Hey how do u know if u wanna be a boy in a cis way or a trans way? I’m a girl btw

alright so i'm gonna preface this by saying that i'm... probably not the best authority on What Makes A Man(TM), considering that i'm not one, and that no answer i give is going to catch every relevant topical nuance? but i know i've talked a bit in the tags about my personal blend of cis+ gender-woogity, so i'm gonna go out on a limb and assume that's what you're asking about!

it got pretty long, so i put it under the cut :D

there's two ways i tend to approach my assessment of my gender, which for purposes of this ask let's call "diagnostic" and "diegetic".

the diagnostic approach is more or less what it sounds like - comparing and contrasting what i understand gender to be, denotatively and connotatively and culturally, with what my sense of my own gender is, and trying to figure out what feels closest to me and why. this has been influenced pretty heavily by two posts i've seen floating around over the years but can't for the life of me find right now.

one of them is just a quote to the effect of "consistently wishing you were a different gender is a pretty strong indicator of being that gender." and it makes sense, right? human intuition, gut feeling like that, is made of a million little deductions about the world relative to yourself that you don't consciously process all of, but which make themselves known however they can. if you're a girl but you keep finding yourself thinking "man, i wish i was a boy," that might be your brain doing behind-the-scenes pattern recognition about being a boy and trying to flag your attention towards it.

which isn't to say that it's an infallible tell, gut feelings are not always correct, let alone accurate! even when they are, you're getting, like. fortune cookie amounts of information about things that might require thesis paper amounts. but that's where you have to take a level in metacognition and think about why you think about or respond to something the way you do. or, to quote discworld,

“First Thoughts are the everyday thoughts. Everyone has those. Second Thoughts are the thoughts you think about the way you think. People who enjoy thinking have those. Third Thoughts are thoughts that watch the world and think all by themselves. They’re rare, and often troublesome. Listening to them is part of witchcraft.”

― Terry Pratchett, A Hat Full of Sky

figuring out the why of your own responses is good for tons of non-gender-related reasons, but it's especially helpful with those kind of vague but persistent I Feel A Way About This thoughts. if you're a girl and you keep thinking "man, i wish i were a boy", there's a lot of reasons you might think that! for legit gender reasons, yeah, but it might also be "i wish i were a boy because their clothes look better" or "i wish i were a boy because then i wouldn't get cat-called" or "because they get paid more" or "because no one assumes they can't pick up heavy things" or more. some of them are aesthetic things, some of them are cultural misogyny things, all of them are relevant and valid! but it also makes it a little harder to tell how heavily gender-weighted they are in general - you can be mad about the pay gap and and explore a more masculine silhouette while still robustly being a woman.

(though, pro tip about the clothes? regardless of your genderfeel, men's section jeans are where it's at. huge pockets. not made of tissue paper. sized with actual waist/inseam measurements instead of a random number revealed to a women's fashion exec in a vision. cannot recommend them strongly enough. have pocket. be free.)

that brings us to the second post that i regrettably can't find, and another excellent diagnostic tool!

it was a comment written by a trans man in a longer thread about gender identity, talking about something that helped him distinguish between 'cultural misogyny sucks' thoughts and 'i am not a woman' thoughts. he definitely explained it more eloquently, but his rule of thumb was "would this upset me if it happened to me, but not to a female friend?"

for example, if someone holds the door for a girl and calls her "ma'am," all courteous manners, that would probably not be an issue for most women! but if you aren't a woman, or you're starting to not feel like one, it might not feel so comfortable an interaction.

i've learned to use that as a baseline for a problem management system for "i wish i was..." thoughts like those - it really does help to distinguish between external circumstance thoughts wearing a gender envy hat vs actual gender envy thoughts hiding under an external-circumstance hat, especially when there's multiple confounding factors involved. for example, let's go back to the clothes thing for a second!

i've always had a bit of a contentious relationship with clothes shopping, which in hindsight was a combination of personal aesthetic, sensory issues, body image issues, and gender issues. trying to develop my aesthetic was hard, especially back when "department store girls' section" was my only real choice and the best i ever hoped for was a grudging least-worst option just to get it over with. this has since changed! i have experienced presentation euphoria! i have a style now that feels comfortable and makes me happy! but it was a steep climb to get there until i learned how to identify what made the least-worst option least worst and move closer to it.

sometimes it's easy, like "this fabric is soft but the color is hideous" so find a different color, or "it's too tight across the chest because it was designed for someone skinny" so try a different size, or "this is just blatantly not-my-aesthetic" so move on. but sometimes it's "i'm getting steadily more upset trying to find a dress that i don't hate on my body despite them looking and feeling just fine on the hanger," and that one's a little tougher.

because on one hand, part of it really was the body image issues. i don't need to shop plus-size, but there's still something really disheartening about basically every retail outlet's 'normal' size range heavily implying that i'm only barely thin enough to be worth catering to, you know? fatphobia in the fashion industry is a whole different other conversation that we're not having right now, but it heavily contributed to some non-gender-related body dysphoria that's played first-chair tuba in my brain for a long time.

but on the other hand, looking at myself in a mirror wearing a dress and really hating it wasn't entirely about my body in a dress - it was also about my body in a dress. it didn't really click until a good friend of mine invited me to be in their wedding party, and said "we're not doing bridesmaid's dresses, just bridal party colors, wear whatever you feel most comfortable in as long as it matches!" and i spent ten seconds mentally gearing up for another godawful harrowing misery gauntlet of dress shopping -

and then stopped. because.

if i can wear something comfortable.

and a dress isn't.

...... what if i wore a suit?

and lo, i went to men's wearhouse and got slacks and a vest and a buttondown and a tie and it was amazing. i feel so fucking good in that outfit, i feel handsome and classy and confident in a way i literally never once in my life have felt while wearing a dress.

most of the time, people want things or don't-want things for a whole blend of reasons, and if there's one reason yelling loudest (hello, body-dysphoria tuba) it's often hard to tell what the rest of the factors are. but it's really, genuinely worth it to try and figure it out, even if you have to dig through a big old lump of stress and misery to get there - understanding yourself better and accepting what you find will only ever lead to quality-of-life improvements. sometimes it's as simple as refining your aesthetic some more, realizing "i can do better than grudging least-worst options" and navigating towards a wardrobe that you actually like!

but sometimes, it's realizing that your clothes don't make you feel good in the first place because they're expecting a kind of gender performance out of you that you can't comfortably give.

and that's where the "diegetic" part of my self-analysis kicks in.

the definition of "diegetic" is (of sound in a movie, television program, etc.) occurring within the context of the story and able to be heard by the characters. the score of a movie is non-diegetic, whereas the song playing on the radio during a driving scene is. how does this relate to my gender, you might ask?

well... perception.

i can be on as many levels of Advanced Gendermancy as i want, but that's all non-diegetic. myself as i am, occurring within the context of existing in public and able to be seen by the other people out there living life? i'm gonna get perceived as a gender, and i'm gonna get perceived as "girl," with maybe an addition of "... queer?" when i feel like making a statement with flannels. and that's okay with me. it's not a hardship to have people assume i'm a girl, because yeah, i'm a girl! ish! mostly! girl-lite, girl-as-default, noncommittal-wiggly-hand-gesture rounding-down-to-the-closest-answer girl.

but the thing is, i'm a carpenter. blue-collar union carpenter. women comprise... i think 2% of the construction workforce in my area. which means that just by existing on-site, i'm making all the guys remember that the gender binary exists because there's now a "them" for them to be an "us" about. i get called "miss kelly" like that's my whole name by the guys from my company who know me, and i get called "young lady" by guys from other companies who don't, and it's all very respectful and courteous, but... i don't want it. what i want is access to the "we're literally all men here so it doesn't even matter that we're men" gender space they have without me, which i can't have, because i am diegetically female in a male-dominated field. and if gender is a fluid, i'm a water balloon deforming under pressure, because the more frequently i get Gendered on-site - even when everyone's been nothing but polite about it, and certainly not intending any insult! - the more stressed-out i get in the same direction as wearing dresses made me feel. it's too much, too constrictive of an expectation that i do not meet, and i don't like it, and you know what helps?

chasing masculine presentation a little harder to make up for it.

being seen and Gendered masculinely, even if it's a little more than i would normally want, feels good because it's balancing the pH of my gender fluid again, and getting to have that is entirely dependent on someone else perceiving you and acting on that perception.

so that's part of it as well, beyond any interior exploration you can do. it isn't just about what you feel like, which is certainly important - it's also about the way people treat you relative to what you feel like. and it's hard, it's really really hard, to figure out what's right for you in that balance, especially if you don't know what's wrong in the first place.

it's like being blindfolded on a beach and told to find wheat grains scattered in the sand by touch alone. you know there's something good out there but not where it is or how to find it, only that you don't have it, and if you find wheat at all it's mixed in with so much sand you can hardly taste it anyway. if you're lucky, you bump into someone who's gone through it already who can take the blindfold off and show you how to sift for wheat instead of just eating a handful of sand and hoping, and that makes it easier, but for every one person like that there's a hundred more who've never had to try to pick wheat out of sand and can't tell the difference anyhow who think you're just not trying hard enough to live off of the """wheat""" you've been given.

i can't really tell you what it feels like to want to be a boy, because i'm not a boy and i don't really want to be? but i can tell you how i worked out the gender that i've got right now, and i hope it helps you anyway.

#answered asks by cwaf #anon asks by cwaf #advanced gendermancy #i'm obviously not trying to Speak For The Trans Community(TM) here i'm just one person trying my best to articulate some stuff #but these are the things that have impacted my gender exploration the hardest #so i hope they're useful tools for you too! #i can't take credit for the sand vs wheat analogy because my datemate came up with it but they said i could use it here #if you do some thinking and discover that you *do* want to be a boy there's a ton of trans resources out there!! #there's a whole community who'd be happy to help guide you if you reach out to them for advice #but this is what i've got for you right now

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

if you haven't seen it yet, the youtube channel defunctland did an episode on garfield's nightmare :) www youtube com/watch?v=KK3Yr80lPOY

I DIIIIIID I SAW IT, oh that video pulled me up some MEMORIES

i haven't been to kennywood in aaaaages, it's probably changed a lot, but it's such a fun park to go to if you're ever up in the area

thanks for sending it!!

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

You mentioned you knitted a picture of an interchange, do you have a photo of your result? 👀 I’d love to see!

tragically i don't, alas - this was my pattern sketch on graph paper, so if you can fill in the blanks that it was a royal purple background with sea green and fuchsia road-lines, you'll more or less get it?

i think i'm going to revisit it one day, i think i can do more with it than what i did the first time 'round, and i'll _certainly_ be able to do a better job with the finished product quality, this was one of the first things i knit with intarsia and i've learned how to make it a lot more polished since then

#procrastiknitting #knitblr #answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

You said it’s next week, congrats on finishing your apprenticeship!! =)

thank you!! it's been a long road and my class cohort that started with like 20 people is now down to like. 4. plus two extra people who got folded in from a different class cohort. but by god was i not one of those lost to attrition, and i'm proud of that.

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

Happy birthday! =)

thank you <3

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

yoooo I remember reading varjak paw as a kid. I honestly don't remember much about it other than his like spinning(?) cat fighting technique (???)

HE SUPER DID HAVE THAT, god, slow time moving circles shadow walking has been stuck in my head literally since elementary school, the VIBES of that whole book were absolutely impeccable

i remember being scared shitless by the Gentleman's pair of black not!cats and just absolutely hit by a truck about the

"I Am Very Well Thank You Please"

'stuffed toys' reveal, the ILLUSTRATIONS just. WHOO. OKAY. i feel absolutely zero compunctions putting this one up there on the "short stories you read that alter your brain chemistry" shelf tbqh

apparently there was a second one, which i didn't know about until i tripped over it at a library book sale and you bet your ass it came home with me, i still haven't read it yet but like. [long string of eyes emojis]

#varjak paw #so like for those of you who did NOT have the experience of picking this book up at a scholastic book fair and getting their shit rocked #it was basically the gritty urban horror-fantasy counterpoint to the warrior cats books #you know the Stranger from the magnus archives? the patron fear-entity of dnd mimics and the uncanny valley et al? #you know that whole thing with the mannequin ringmaster lady who steals people's skins? #y e a h #that uh. features heavily. h e a v i l y. young me was NOT braced. #let me once again stress i bought this at a SCHOLASTIC BOOK FAIR IN ELEMENTARY SCHOOL #but!!! one of the other cool things? #the main character dreams about his great-great-ancestor jalal all the way back in ancient mesopotamia #and jalal teaches him like. cat jutsus #which are all 'normal cat things' just amped up to 11 #and there was this whole thing with the illustrations in the real world being this STARK black and white but the illustrations in the dream #were all this gentle sepia sorta color #up until varjak achieves mastery of the skills jalal is teaching him #and only then do we see true black in the dream-illustrations #it was such an atmospheric book and i will die on the hill that it was good and also criminally underrated #answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

if you could instantly master any craft, what would it be and why?

oh, god, uh. well, my two hobbies that i am significantly less good at than knitting are playing piano and doing woodworking, both of them i seem kind of stuck in the like. good enough to understand what i'm doing wrong but not good enough to not keep tripping over stuff and doing it wrong phase? and _god_ would it be nice to be better at both of those, holy shit. and on a slightly vain note, singing? if i could snap my fingers and have a permanent effortless professional singer vocal range and breath support and the whole nine yards i absolutely would. i'm not a bad singer but i know i _could be_ a lot better, is all.

on a much more esoteric slant, i would want to master weaving byssus, because holy absolute fuck why would i not want to master weaving byssus

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

........sexy apocalypse in a can?

when i watched the final fantasy vii movie with my datemate they described sephiroth as such and i thought it was, frankly, fucking HILARIOUS and not inaccurate, and lo! a new blog title XD

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

What’s your favourite animal? =)

ooh, good question!! well, i mean, historically i have been a Weird Horse Girl, so honorable mention to horses, and i do vibe respectfully with spiders so honorable mention to them too, but if you really had to make me pick, it'd be a tough choice between bats or dragons

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

🌸 If you get this, answer with 3 random facts about yourself and send it to the last 7 blogs in your notifications, anonymously or not! Let's get to know the person behind the blog. 🌸

fact 1) i know how to weld, and was certified for sheet metal a couple years ago!

fact 2) i have laughably low tolerance for spicy foods

fact 3) i got a mug years ago as a gift for my sister's hypothetical future fiancee that says "i don't need google, my wife knows everything!" on it and i fully intend to both safeguard it like excalibur in the lake of avalon until there's a fiancee to give it to, AND to extract a promise that i get the mug back if they divorce XD

#answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

Do you like cheese?

why yes i do~ my favorite's gouda!

lmao all 'she's the man' references aside i do very much like cheese, huge fan of cheese, all my respect to gouda but additional shoutout to asiago (Whomst Else Has The Range) and parmesan and mozzarella and cheddar, oh my god, i used to work on a dairy farm that sold one-year aged cheddar that was DIVINE, a+++

#anon asks by cwaf #answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

Hai, just thought id mention I really like your username. I kinda want to draw it

Also you have impeccable taste ^^

aw that's really sweet of you to say!! if you post the drawing anywhere, could you tag me in it/link me to it so i can see it??

#answered asks by cwaf #anon asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

Hey, I'm not trying to be an ass, but if you're going to reblog something that shows actual footage of the Twin Towers being hit, you REALLY need to tag it.

alright, fair enough, but do you have a suggestion of what specifically i should be tagging? i understand that it could be considered sensitive content, but i genuinely do not know what i should tag it that people would already have blacklisted.

#like. if it's something YOU SPECIFICALLY would like to have tagged that's understandable and i can accommodate that #let me know what tag or tags you already have blacklisted and i'll keep them in mind #it hadn't crossed my mind that it would be a sore point considering the irreverence with which tumblr tends to take 9/11 #or at least the culture surrounding 9/11 #but i do get your point #answered asks by cwaf

[cthulhu-with-a-fez]

I think the funniest thing about five-year-old you's stuffed animal pedantry is the fact that Black Beauty not only ALSO has a white star, the white star is /extremely plot-relevant/.

I KNOW!! I KNOW

BUT THE THING IS I DON'T THINK I'D ACTUALLY READ THE BOOK AT THAT POINT, ON ACCOUNT OF I WAS FIVE, AND BY THE TIME I DID IT WAS TOO LATE TO CHANGE HIS NAME

i didn't even read the, like, Great Classics Adapted For Children(TM) version of black beauty until i was at least... eh, 8 maybe? i just knew That It Existed and That It Had A Black Horse In It, and i think in tiny me's mind, who would name their horse 'black beauty' if said horse wasn't head-to-toe nazgul-horse-rustling-bait black? as far as i was concerned, it was UNCONSCIONABLE to deliberately omit the presence of both colors present. and, thus, my stuffed horse has been stuck with an entire phrase as a name for the last going-on-twenty years, bless him

#black and white beauty my beloved stuffed horse black and white beauty #he'd be an old man now in horse years #i was... Not Particularly Gentle with him when i was a kid #i mean i didn't treat him BADLY but he's about the same size as i was when i _got him_ and i was very excited about him #he lives on the giant stack of blankets at the foot of my bed and i still make sure to pet him every now and then #his mane's all snarled up in a clump but his fur's still soft #and anyway the point is that i love him very much #answered asks by cwaf #mylordshesacactus