#anyway cant turn my brain ofd

[juleteinthrum]

I'm sad today.

#zims stink #vent #ig #personal #im just sad today. it aint a bad thing but im upset about what happened #i couldn't sleep. i really needed sleep tonight and dont have much time before work #i barely got sleepy #anyway cant turn my brain ofd #ill have to work with what i call a shift nap #u rem cycle for 5 hours twice in a normal solid basic night. i can do those broken up into 2 parts given a good day but ill #like. have to work with 1 today #if i can even manage that #idk man i dont feel well and im sure gonna feel like shit later #thinking about june. makes my heart race. and i. start to feel angry until im just sad #and i know its not my fault and the more it sets in that i didn't. maybe cause all of it. that stuff just happened. that bad things just #sorta happened. it's making me so so sad. like yeah. lol im adapting back to a life that makes sense. after fully beginning to adjust to the #them. to there. to their. things. glassware and cabinet doors and the porch. the trees and birds. hills. windless now im back in windy plain #yeah. yeah its way better here but im still sad. im sad bc i left the quail and my mentor and my colleagues and my brothers #and they wouldn't even hardly look at me. they spoke to me as if I'd been shitty the entire time. talked in a tone you'd use on a toddler #if you are seeing this i need you off my blog btw #if i couldn't stay for a 5 hour nap and a munch on some. like idk even chips or something i DIDNt eat dinner. you cannot look here #anyway. tumblr is a diary and I've been not opening messages so i don't know who i have to turn to rn so ill jusg dump here #part of my issue. cant open up all the way. not when i need it more. its 8 am who will be awake around me anyway #me and all my loves are night birds. idk. im sad.