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daydreaminghaven · 5 years

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I needed a rant

I'm just going to write this down because I don't know how else to deal with this at the moment. My roommate is an asshole, it's gotten to bad that at this point I'm literally on the verge of tears. She is inconsiderate and rude and I don't know what to do. Sometimes my gut just tells me to go fucking punch the shit out of her but I wont because I'm better than that. I know for a fact that she could never beat my ass and it's not like I'm scared of her it's just that I'm scared of losing this home. I don't want to move anymore and if I do result to violence I'll be out and who knows where I'll be next? The last thing I want or need is too be in another fucking group home which will be right where I'm headed if I lose this place. '

And what could make me come to all of this? When I first met my roommate I knew we were not going to become close friends it was like I could see the future. You know when you meet someone and you just feel their negative energy? Well it was like that with her. Nevertheless, being that I just came out of a hellish rehabilitation program it was a miracle that I somehow was given a foster home. Foster homes are very, very rare for someone my age- especially coming from someone who was currently in a rehab. All anyone wants are little kids, and as a matter of fact my foster parent even admits she wasn't going to take me because she herself only wanted young kids. The only reason she took me is because I have an interest in church, quote me.

If I had to go to a group home then so be it, but now that I'm here I don't want to lose what I have. The problem with group homes is that they occupy too many people. Just imagine what its like to be living with 5-9 teenage girls mixed in with 3 or 4 tired, angry under-payed, overworked staff members (that switch out 3 times a day) all under the same roof. It's not pretty. There's ALWAYS fights, there's ALWAYS drama, ALWAYS something weather it be someone running away, two or more girls not getting along or a staff member not doing their job, or overstepping boundaries; there is constant stress. All. The. Time.

For someone who likes solitude, quietness, this kind of environment is- it's just horrible. It's already bad enough but then mix in someone who can't handle that kind of lifestyle and it can worsen their mental health, it can lead to self harm, suicidal ideations or worse.

Once upon a time I used to be able to handle group homes, I just moved along when the drama happened, it was frustrating definitely (not just for me but for everyone), but it wasn't unbearable. But then I moved... And I moved again. And again. Then I started getting more fed up with it, then I started breaking down more easily, and self harmed, attempted suicide. I started to runaway, and use drugs... And every time I moved the staffs/therapists/supervisors seemed to care less and less and it was so frustrating. There were so many rules but so much unacceptable behavior slipping right under the rug!

And there was pretty much nothing you could do about it.

Then I got put in that rehabilitation and residential program which was some of the worst times in my life. It was like a bad group home to the max. You thought 9 teenage girls was bad? try 18-29. Together, all fucking day. No phones or internet, you had to be cut off- you couldn't even have a diary or pass notes without it needing to be checked everyday. You can bet there was fights and drama all the time, you couldn't leave the campus at all until months after you arrived. Not even mentioning that there was a strict schedule when to, sleep eat, shower, have mandatory groups that everyone hated. The staff in these places was even worse, virtually EVERYONE hated their job, and the staff in programs are allowed to put there hands on you if deemed necessary, and oh-fucking-boy did they. That power was abused way to fucking often but you want to try to run away? Straight to jail for 90 days just to get sent back and have to start all of your progress over from scratch... or possibly get sent to an even longer program.

These programs are technically 6 months but most people end up there for 8 to 9 months. You are given a set of 5 'levels' or 'phases' that you have to complete in order to get discharged from the program. Some kids are lucky and their insurance runs out and their parents can't pay to keep them there. I wasn't that lucky considering my parent is the state of fucking Florida. I'm grateful to be able to have good insurance and all but fucking hell that place was bad. Due to having to move to a switch different program 5 months after I was sent to my first program (over something that wasn't my fault, it had to due with medication issues which is a whole other story), I had to start all of my progress over and start the levels off from scratch. I spent 8 months in my second program making 13 months completely cut off from society (did I mention you weren't even allowed to watch the news?). That’s where I spent Christmas, Halloween, Mothers and Fathers day, even my birthday. I was discharged just two fucking days after my birthday. Just two. Anyways, the point is, I worked really, really hard to prove that I was responsible enough to get a foster home and I did. Even though my roommate is a fucking asswipe dealing with one girl is better than 9. At least I can kind of ignore her. But It's just so hard to act like it's not that bad she’s always

-touching and stealing my belongings -throwing actual garbage with bloody tampons in it over my ART SUPPLIES -always calling me disgusting and dirty when this bitches side of the closet -smells like fish -talking dirty to boys late at night (I don't want to hear about how you want to eat his ass. Stop it. Get some help.) -using my towel that I bathe with to clean the floor with BLEACH FUCKING BLEACH -USING MY LOAFERS AND WASH RAGS -plays loud angry rap music, or movies at full volume all night, usually until 2am, -or really early in the morning to wake me up WHEN SHE OWNS FUCKING HEADPHONES -Talks shit about me to everyone that comes through the door of this house (and loudly)

and I’m over here basically kissing her ass because anything is better than those fucking group homes. And I've tried to ask her to stop, or turn down her music, I've tried confronting her- and peacefully and respectfully but she either ignores me or gets violent. I've tried tried telling the foster parent, my therapist and no one is doing anything. I'm backed up into a corner. Like I said before, I'm not scared for my life, this bitch is like 5'3 (no offense to short people) but like I could kick her punk ass any day- and I would if I number 1.) wasn't trying to better myself and number 2.) cared about this home so fucking much. I just don't know what to do except pray and try to focus on other things. I wish I could just sleep in the living room. I keep breaking my headphones because I have to sleep with rain noises or something to drown out whatever she decides to play. Can you believe she has the audacity to wake me up just tell me to turn down my headphones when she tries to sleep? Like they aren’t even big headphones they are 6 dollar earbuds how loud can they be?! I do every single time though because I'm trying to 'stay blameless in Gods eyes' because I believe in karma and also if I didn't she would probably do something really petty like purposefully play loud music to wake me up even earlier or play it all night so I can't sleep.

It really sucks. I have to live with this person for 110 more days (and, yes, I have it marked on my calendar) but one day she'll be gone and I wont have to deal (or smell) this person again. So hopefully I'll have some more learned patience by then.

The whole reason for me even righting this is because yesterday she asked me to turn the light off in our room when I'm not using it (which is understandable, except you're never home anyways nor do you pay the bills) and of course when she came home the next day I made sure the light was off (did I mention the reason I'm not in the room when she comes home is because I avoid being in there when she is? My foster parent apparently thought that was important enough to report to my therapist like I have problems-But when I tell you whats actually going on you don't do anything about it so like...). Then today when came home I asked her to close the door when she goes in the room, while she was going to the room (because I can still hear whatever she plays from the living room). Guess what? She looked right at me, then walked to the room which is right across the living room and left the door wide open ON PURPOSE. Later on she said that basically it's not her job and that if I want it closed then I need to walk over and close it every time she leaves it open. It pissed me off so much that I just needed to write my feelings out because there isn't anything else I can do about it. Maybe when I'm older I'll look back on this and think 'wow look how strong you are now' and hopefully by then I'll be in a position where if someone is being an outright dick I can punch the shit out of them on the spot- I mean deal with them professionally.

just 110 more days Jasmine, you can do it. Do it for yourself girl do it for your boo thang

#what do i do #i need advice #advice

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toglidethroughlife · 6 years

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Playback (A Choices Fanfic)

Pairing: Kenji x F!MC (Alex)

Category: Angst/Comfort

Summary: Kenji sends messages for every day that Alex has been gone. Post Book 1 finale.

Author’s Note: I’m so sorry for spamming everyone with post finale fics. I’m getting to all the prompt requests, I promise. I just need to get the angst out of my system lol.

Click.

Day 208.

Hey, Alex.

I’m not sure why I’m still doing this everyday.

I guess I just miss you.

Anyway, not much happened today. Dax and Poppy are thinking about getting a dog.

What do you think they should get?

Personally, I think a golden retriever would be pretty cool. Friendly, smart, loyal. Just like me.

Poppy wants a Pomeranian though.

Maybe we can just get a golden retriever together when you get back.

Click.

Day 196.

It’s Poppy’s birthday today. We had drinks at The Grand and she might have gone a little crazy with the shots.

She kept screaming to everyone how much she loves us. Dax was blushing so much – it was a little embarrassing.

I think Eva secretly wanted to pretend like she didn’t know us.

She misses you, you know. We all do.

The sound of clinking glasses fill the air.

Here’s to you, Alex.

Click.

Day 180.

Hey, Alex.

It’s been six months.

The world’s been pretty crazy.

Crime in Northbridge has been at an all time high, Dax thinks someone’s selling a variation of liquid prism in the black market.

Grayson’s got the Prism Gate technology on lockdown, so hopefully that’ll never see the light of day again. Eva and I have been running around the city almost everyday, we’re both a little exhausted.

… we’re trying to be enough, Alex. We really are.

But the world needs you.

… I need you.

Click.

Day 142.

Eva and I tried Dax’s new and enhanced Flaming Gaunlet of Doom.

It was a smashing success.

Dax would tell you differently though.

He thinks Eva and I cheated by putting most of everything in slow-motion.

It was hilarious.

If you’ve got it, flaunt it, right?

Wish you could’ve been there with us. We would have been a terrible trio.

Click.

Day 128.

My mom keeps asking about you, you know.

She’s worried that we’re having “relationship problems” or something. Says I don’t smile as much these days.

I told her she was exaggerating.

… you know, she’s really happy I’ve found you. She told me as much. Something about you being a good influence on me?

Again, an exaggeration.

She’s right about one thing though.

I’ve never been happier than when I’ve been with you.

Click.

Oh, and by the way, if she ever asks, you’re out indefinitely on a management training program in Prescott Industries’ office in Australia. You know, hoppin’ around with the kangaroos.

Be ready with your stories!

Click.

Day 105.

I had a dream about you last night.

You were smiling and you had flowers in your hair. We were at a festival, I think. It was nice.

Definitely better than the nightmares I get sometimes.

Have I told you about those? The ones about that day with Silas?

Sometimes it’s you lying dead next to me, sometimes it’s me not making it to you in time.

Most times I see you coming back to me though.

And it’s nice for a while because I can feel you in my arms again. See your smile as you tell me, “you didn’t think you were getting rid of me that easily” in that sassy tone of yours, and all would be right.

But then I’d wake up and you’d be gone and I’d force myself to go back to sleep. Force myself to see you again, but it never works.

Those ones I hate the most, I think.

It feels like I’m losing you all over again.

Click.

Day 83.

You think I should cut my hair?

It’s getting a little long. Although, I could also do a classic pompadour. You know? Like James Dean?

It’d be sick.

And I’d look pretty hot.

I mean, I already do, but darling, just imagine.

I’d look extra hot.

You’re not going to be able to resist.

I mean, who are we kidding? You already can’t.

I’ll let you in on a little secret though.

… I can’t resist you too.

Click.

Day 56.

Is it stupid that I keep thinking that you can hear me over these things?

Eva’s a little worried I’ve been spending most of my nights here instead of having actual company.

Have I told you about her dad, by the way? He got discharged today. Eva was so happy, I think she almost cried in front of us.

We’re having dinner at her place tonight.

Fingers crossed they like my yakisoba.

Click.

Day 35.

Grayson and I went out drinking today.

Played a little pool, had some scotch.

We mostly just talked about stupid things we did in college though.

Have I told you Grayson’s funny? Grayson can be really funny.

… he says he’s really sorry, by the way, about how things went down with his dad.

I told him what I think you would’ve told him.

That it wasn’t his fault and that you don’t want him living the rest of his life carrying this burden.

I also told him we were sorry for the way things ended. Silas may have been crazy… but he was still Grayson’s father. And losing a parent is never easy.

Grayson told me all about college Alex too, you know. He… might have told me some pretty embarrassing things. Remind me to tease you about them when you get back.

Not that I’m likely to forget. But you know, just in case.

Click.

Day 23.

You were really cute as a kid, you know that?

I was over at Rochelle’s today and we went through your childhood photo albums.

You never told me you had braces before.

Rochelle said you hated them.

I think you looked cute.

I might have stolen a photo of yours to keep in my wallet.

I… might be looking at it right now.

Either way, you’re not getting it back.

Click.

Day 15.

We told Grayson today. About everything – you, me, Eva, Dax, Poppy, the Prism Gate.

I think he was angry for a little while – betrayed, maybe, that we didn’t include him in our secret.

But he says he understands.

He had his suspicions about you, actually. Guess we weren’t as smart with our excuses as we thought, huh?

He’s doing okay, by the way.

A little beat up trying to get the company back together, but he’s going to be just fine.

We’re going to be right beside him all the way.

Click.

Day 7.

Rochelle says you probably can’t hear us.

She and Dax have been working day and night, studying the effects of excessive liquid prism, and they’ve hypothesized that too much of that crazy stuff might trigger a wormhole into another world.

She says that would explain why we can’t seem to track you anywhere. It’s like you’ve just… vanished.

But I still have hope. And I’m not going to stop doing these.

Who knows? Maybe they have reception in this crazy alternate dimension.

I’m willing to bet it does.

Click.

Day 3.

Have I told you that Rochelle came to us after that day?

She went to your apartment looking for you, but she couldn’t find you there so she called Poppy.

We told her everything. The powers, the Prism Gate, Silas.

She cried, Alex. Says she’s sorry she ever hid any of this from you.

But I’ve also told her that we think you’re still alive and she’s agreed to help us find you.

Look at us. All working together to find the woman we love.

I think you’d be proud.

Click.

Day 1.

Well, technically it’s been five days since you disappeared, but it’s my first transmission, so let’s pretend it’s Day 1, okay? It sounds cooler that way.

Uh… scratch that. Dax, can you edit this part out?

Right. Let’s try this again.

Day 1.

Hey, Alex. It’s me.

Dax says he’s gonna try to upload this into MARCI so that it’ll get to you. We’re not sure if it’s gonna work, but we’re gonna save all these messages for you anyway. That way you can still listen to them when you get back.

So um, hi.

I don’t know where you are right now, but I know that you’re still alive. Call it stupid or being in denial, but I can feel it.

Maybe this crazy prism force linked us somehow, or maybe I’m just being stubborn… but I know you’re out there somewhere.

And I am not giving up on you.

I never will.

… so hang in there, okay? We’re going to find a way to bring you home.

Click. End of tape.

A lone figure makes his way inside the Northbridge clocktower, his eyes accustomed to the dim midnight light, his feet easily finding his usual spot in front of the window.

He looks up at the sky as he pushes a button on his earpiece.

“Begin transmission.”

Click.

“Day 299.

Hey, Alex.

There’s something that’s been on my mind.

I’ve been thinking about what if’s lately. Like, what if the roles were reversed and it was me, sitting there, possibly alone in an alternate dimension, with no way of coming back home? What if it was you, sending me messages everyday, and I was getting them but you couldn’t hear me?

I think it’d kill me, to be honest. Not being able to tell you how I feel.

… there’s something I’ve been wanting to say, something I thought I wanted to save for when you get back.

But I don’t want to hold it in anymore, so here goes.

… I love you.

I think I have since that very first day I saw you and you smacked my ego back in my face.

That was cute, by the way. Very cute.

I love you, Alex… and I still have hope.

I’ll be right here, waiting.

And when I see you again – and I know I will – I’m going to show you just how much I do.

That’s a Katsaros guarantee.”

Click.

#playchoices #playchoices fanfic #hero choices #kenji katsaros #kenji x mc #this was supposed to be more hurt-ish... but i think i like how it turned out?#lol

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cloudbattrolls · 7 years

Text

Scheming and Dreaming

(Or: the story of how Gliese and Emerel discussed a score of highly illegal activities in the space of one night. Content warning for abuse mention and emotional manipulation mention).

AH: hey Emerel

AH: you were asking about Leoffe

AH: and I REALLY didn't want to say it in the main server for a shitload of reasons

AH: but the truth is they're fucking terrible. They hit Kit for so much as yawning on duty

AH: I guess the Fleet ignores it because they're like a thousand sweeps old and a seadweller, or they just don't fucking care because Kit's technically some sort of fake helm thanks to his implants.

AH: It's awful and I hate it but I cannot do fuck shit about it.

AH: even worse, Kit thinks it's normal

AH: I guess because they've had him since he was pretty much a wriggler

MN: ...

MN: well that explains

MN: literally everything

MN: what the fuck

AH: yeah it's pretty fucking dismal

MN: i take it leoffe has more sweeps left than kit does

AH: lol Empress knows how long that asshole will live

AH: probably forever, they're a fucking fish

AH: so probably

MN: what about you?

MN: do you get the same degree of treatment or is it mostly centered on kit?

AH: lol no Leoffe mostly ignores me, thank fuck

AH: I do what I'm told and nothing happens

AH: but Kit's like, their prize hoofbeast

AH: I'm just the backup

AH: that's probably why

AH: he's the one with the fancy tech in his pan and more training than me

AH: Leoffe's invested a lot in this project

MN: what's the end game of this project, exactly?

MN: i assumed it was normal fleet advantage efforts

MN: but what is it really?

AH: To be honest I don't know exact details. But I do know they're trying to boost our psi as much as possible, they want us controlling armies or some shit.

AH: but the thing is...

AH: you've seen Kit's hair.

AH: I'd bet you fucking anything that's from the strain they're putting on his powers.

MN: the curling?

MN: i thought that was just the way he did his hair.

AH: The gray, you moron

AH: haven't you seen the gray streaks

MN: i have.

MN: i'm still reeling sorry

MN: i knew you both had it rough but i didn't realize just how much shit kit was in

AH: honestly for me it's mostly just a pain in my ass

AH: nothing I can't cope with

AH: it's Kit who's in trouble

AH: but he doesn't even realize how fucked up everything is

MN: what's in place to stop you from turning your psi on them?

MN: ...besides kit thinking this is all normal, that is

AH: lol, Leoffe? Don't you know anything about mind-psi?

AH: loses strength the higher up the spectrum you go.

AH: Even with our shit - which IS extra strong - it'd still be a hell of a fight

MN: no i know that

MN: but if they're going to have you controlling entire armies potentially

MN: then what's to stop all that raw power from breaking through the psychic barrier if it's been trained well enough

AH: ...you saying we could sabotage them and make it look like an accident?

AH: maybe.

AH: but I'd have to be very, very sure about that.

MN: and if kit thinks the way he's getting treated is normal then

MN: he'd have to be not there at the time if something went down

MN: if only so they can't think he had something to do with it

AH: ugh. this shit hurts my pan. I'm no big fan of the fleet, but the reason I didn't run from forced conscription in the first place is because it's such a bad idea to fuck with them.

AH: especially Leoffe. we'd have to be so fucking careful.

AH: honestly, much as I hate saying it

AH: it'd be easier to sabotage Kit. even if they'd take me as the backup. I could just get myself in trouble another way and get discharged.

MN: i'm not so sure they would gliese

MN: think about it

MN: they put a lot of money into this project

MN: nobody wants that much of an investment to go to waste

AH: ugh

MN: if you sabotaged kit and they deemed him not useful, he knows too much and has too much tech to just...leave in him, probably

AH: if only there were a third Lepus troll hanging around

AH: especially if they were a dick

AH: blegh, probably

AH: but if he burned out altogether...

AH: they COULDN'T use him

MN: and if you went in their place, you'd get the same treatment as kit instead of being left alone

MN: because leoffe is old

MN: old seadwellers?

MN: they hate it when everything isn't exactly the way they want it

MN: and it sounds like leoffe takes it to a whole new level on that front

MN: what would that do to kit though?

MN: what happens when you burn out

AH: Not sure. To be honest, I think he might already be showing - oh, that

AH: well I only saw it happen to a lowblood once, and they did survive...

AH: but it wasn't pretty

AH: still, Kit's cobalt, or practically

MN: a lowblood who probably isn't full of psychic implants and metal

AH: he probably has a better chance than a rust

MN: what happens when the parts they wired you both up with actually burn out as opposed to a natural burn out

AH: ...ugh, shit, I didn't think of that. Well I'm not wired, for one, but yeah you're right, that's a complication in his case.

AH: all I can think of is more surgery. Take them out, then burn him out.

AH: but I don't know who'd do that.

MN: alright let's

MN: let's put our heads together here

MN: we both know people

MN: who do we know that might know someone who can

MN: one of us has to

AH: I know Lapyen, she fixed him up before when he got burned, but she's fifty kinds of too nervous for this

AH: She got jumpy just when we said we were fleet

AH: so that's out

AH: do you know any docterrorists or anything who don't mind doing something a bit illegal?

MN: well

MN: pheres is the go to person for all things social and shady

MN: and he knows half of alternia

MN: but i don't know if it's a good idea to involve him in this

AH: yeaaaah

AH: look, I like Pheres, I do, but I'm with you on this one

AH: he seems like he'd be WAY too nervous about it

MN: i love him more than anyone but

MN: let's face it, he's got a big mouth and poor decision making skills

AH: tell me if I'm wrong but that's the vibe I - LOL

AH: noted

AH: ...wait, though

AH: aren't you and him both dating Kit

AH: how exactly does that work anyway

AH: I was just happy he stopped bedding and piling half the town so I didn't ask but I now realize I don't even know wtf your deal is

MN: a very weird red smear that i never saw coming and it's a long story

MN: i want kit to be happy and i want him to be safe

MN: i really thought it was just a worse than average case of roughing up you get from being a soldier until you said something

AH: lol that's fine that's good enough for me

AH: you aren't that fucking stupid looking brownblood chick, I don't give a damn

AH: I still can't believe he took whatever the fuck her name was to the ball

MN: ugh yeah her

MN: i remember seeing her

MN: she smelled like rotting flesh

AH: ewwww

AH: what the hell

MN: but anyway

MN: back to the task at hand

AH: lol yeah good point

MN: we need to start fishing around as discreetly as we can

MN: and figuring out who knows who and what they're willing to do

AH: I think you might have more luck than me with finding something my social circle is small and frankly I prefer it that way, unless we want to start hiring shady fucks off the internet

MN: the thing about shady fucks is

MN: they're easy to buy and they're likely to squeal if they're caught

AH: yeah, and while I can cull a squealer, I can't always cull whoever they squealed to

AH: if they're smart and sell the info to someone powerful enough I can't touch

MN: alright, who are the top five people in your social circle?

MN: mine are pheres, kit...thalia....and a matesprit pair from work

MN: what a great circle

MN: there's only so much you can do with limited power

AH: Uh. Kit, Cateex, Canela...Riccin...does Lapyen count?

AH: not counting any of my ex-clade because fuck them.

MN: so we've ruled out lapyen

MN: and i take it she's too anxious to ask if she knows any shady collegues

AH: lol honestly she might but I doubt she'd tell me, so yeah

MN: we obviously can't ask kit to take out his own implants

MN: that would end horribly

AH: oh my god yeah no so fucking horribly

AH: ...hmmm, Riccin's obnoxiously Empire loyal but

AH: they ARE literally part of a fucking helm program.

AH: they might know someone I can talk to.

MN: maybe not someone empire loyal

MN: how does riccin feel about being a helm

AH: they fucking it love it because they're nuts

AH: but I bet not everyone is as gung-ho as they are

AH: if I'm careful they'll never know what I'm really trying to do

AH: god, even if we find someone we're going to have a hell of a time persuading Kit to do this

AH: I'm not even sure we could persuade him at all, at least by telling the truth

MN: leave kit to me and pheres

MN: i think i could twist it so neither of them realized what was happening

MN: as shitty as that makes me feel to lie to them

MN: what about cateex and canela

AH: yeah I'm not the biggest fan of it either

AH: but what choice do we have

AH: the way he is now he'll just keep obediently following along until he literally burns out in a bad way, or his blind obedience gets him killed

AH: Canela's no fan of the fleet, but she's a fashion model, I doubt she knows anyone useful

AH: but maybe she'll come in handy for something, I'll keep her in mind

AH: Cateex...I know she's not a fan of the spectrum, but honestly, she's so taciturn about anything personal that I have no damn clue how she'd feel about this

MN: maybe not

MN: but she's in a high industry and probably has connections

MN: if she doesn't know, someone she comes into contact with might have an idea

AH: hm, yeah

MN: so cateex is also a huge maybe

AH: I trust her, but she's also the person who scolds me whenever I do anything mildly reckless

AH: I think this is a little more than mildly

MN: so our list of 'maybe'

MN: are cateex and canela

MN: and thalia

MN: because this is definitely too big for the last two on my side

MN: just a little bit more than mildly, yes

AH: who the hell's Thalia anyway

MN: an

MN: old friend

AH: I smell drama so I won't touch that

AH: unless you wanna spill

MN: she'd love the idea of being involved in something like this

MN: but she always wants something in return

AH: oh lmao that type

MN: well....

MN: look friend is a loose term okay

MN: point being

AH: point being?

MN: she's a last resort possibility

AH: A'ight

MN: and she's a clown too meaning that they'd be less likely to question her acting strange

AH: oh god, bleh

MN: tell me about it

AH: can't say I'm a fan of anyone higher than my caste, besides Canela. but that's a good point, unfortunately

MN: i don't care much about caste unless you're batshit insane to be honest

AH: lol, I've just had the bad luck of nearly everyone teal and above I've met being a huge cock

AH: Kit, Lapyen, and Canela are basically the only exceptions

MN: if you talked to lapyen, could you spin it like you were looking for a specialized doctor?

MN: at the moment, it sounds like canela or lapyen are going to be our best bets

AH: hmmm, yeah, that's possible

AH: she DOES have this new medical gig with some company, I could probably poke around for contacts

MN: do that

MN: that sounds like our best lead right now

AH: yeah I'll get on it, Lapyen's kind of skittish but she loves talking about her work

AH: shouldn't be too hard

MN: i wish we had a plan to straight up take out leoffe

MN: but i work in the history field

MN: let me tell you all about power vacuums and bad ideas

AH: yeah, I'm willing to listen to you on that one because the basic shit they've taught me since I got here I don't know fuck shit about history

AH: but killing someone that powerful seems like asking to die anyway because common fucking sense

AH: plus they're violet which would make it even worse

MN: even if you're not caught

MN: someone will take their place

MN: and someone's going to die for the crime either way

MN: and then they'll feel good about justice being served

AH: whoo

AH: yeah, no, I know we can't touch them directly

AH: fooling them is going to be our problem

AH: since even if we manage to get Kit's tech out

AH: we still have to work out how to burn him out quickly enough before they cotton on

MN: without causing permanent damage to his pan or something too

AH: yeah

MN: can the implants be hacked?

AH: ...you know, I DON'T KNOW

AH: but I bet I can find out.

AH: and that'd be WAY easier than trying to get them out of him.

AH: probably.

MN: find out

MN: because if they can

MN: that's a hell of an angle to exploit

AH: yeah I'll get on that

AH: what I know about tech can be tattooed on a grub's underside but I know a chick who can help with that

AH: she's not a close friend, but Dionna wouldn't tattle

MN: what's dionna like

AH: flirtiest greenblood you've ever met. Practically jade but not quite, like, a hue or two below. not bad once you tell her to back off, which admittedly she's pretty good about. she's good in a fight and with technology.

AH: and she got her face and vocal cords mauled by her ex-kismesis, who was a seadweller, so she really doesn't give a damn about the spectrum

AH: not an out and out rebel but she's like you, doesn't really care one way or the other

AH: ...actually I just thought of another reason she might be useful, though it's not her, it's her 'rail

AH: he's a powerful emotion controller. Doesn't know anything useful to us, but he might be helpful if we had to pressure anyone who we couldn't get away with wounding.

MN: gliese

AH: what

MN: you are a fucking genius

AH: I know

MN: talk to them

MN: do whatever you have to

MN: especially whatever will get that moirail on our side

AH: you got an idea brewing in that green head of yours?

MN: i have a hell of an idea brewing

AH: perfect

MN: but it's going to need the tightest planning either of us have ever done in our lives

AH: we can do it

AH: we're fucking incredible

MN: unless we have enough money to just buy kit out of the program but good luck with that

AH: yeah, no, I'm blue but I don't have the funds to buy out an adult fleet violet lmao

MN: even i don't have that kind of money

MN: hell that's so much that i don't even think canela does

AH: probably not

AH: not when Leoffe's had so much longer to accumulate it

MN: how well does that emotion power work on highbloods

AH: supposely pretty well, according to Dionna

AH: like if she wasn't pulling my leg, it apparently worked on that kismesis of hers

AH: and he was high violet

AH: I'm not talking those borderline indigo assholes, I mean someone who's like half a step down from tyrian

MN: if she's not lying

MN: and we can get this guy to help us somehow

MN: i have no idea what he'd want but i can afford a bribe

MN: that might just solve our problem with kit and his loyalty to leoffe

AH: yeah I can also help with a bribe

AH: ...though wait

MN: do the implants provide defenses against psionics?

MN: though if it's true they worked on a near tyrian i suppose it doesn't matter

MN: what's wrong?

AH: Are you saying we'd use it on Kit?

AH: Man, I guess that'd work, but god he'd fucking hate us later

MN: i'd rather not but

MN: we want him out and it won't be easy

MN: we have to at least think on every angle

AH: yeah

AH: that's true

MN: ...you're right

MN: shit

MN: maybe not on kit

MN: but let's keep heart guy in mind

AH: LOL, I think his name's...

AH: Inneal? Iunule? Something like that. He lives in Port Mina, so he's easy to get to me for me at least.

MN: this might be a good time to try making friends

MN: quote unquote

AH: lol

AH: I think his best friend will be my caegers

MN: hey gliese

MN: is the fleet training any actual psionic blockers right now?

MN: if you need more caegars

MN: i've got you covered

AH: no goddamn clue, probably, but I don't get told about it

MN: fuck

MN: my thought was if we could find one who wanted to make a prisonbreak

MN: that might be useful too

AH: lol I'm blue, I bet I have more money than you, buddy, but hm. I'll try and find out, the place DOES recruit a lot of lowbloods.

MN: you might

MN: but i do have a shit ton of money myself

MN: battle rings are lucrative when you're good at them

AH: haha holy shit that's great

AH: thank god at least one of Kit's quads isn't afraid to stab a motherfucker

MN: i know i come off like an ass a lot

MN: but i am the only one willing to stab without a second thought

MN: and that worries me

AH: please I am the goddamn empress of first-class assholes make no apologies to me

AH: I've met way worse

AH: yeah it should fucking worry you Kit is way too soft for his own good

AH: idk about Pheres, he seems cunning enough, but is he any good at fighting

MN: in a pinch maybe

MN: but he mostly runs and teleports when he can't run

AH: ugh

AH: that only works in certain situations

AH: or if the other person's psii can't counter his

MN: but to his credit

MN: it makes a bright ass light

MN: i got blinded the first time i saw it

AH: damn

AH: all I get is sparks around my eyes and shit

AH: well, guess we ought to go talk to our people and see what we can get

AH: night, Emerel

AH: we should talk again when we've both got shit to share

MN: i'll let you know what i find

MN: good luck

AH: we're gonna need it

MN: this uh

MN: might be a good idea to make secure safety plans for people you like

MN: and tell them you like them

MN: because we're dead if we mess up

AH: lol, yeah

AH: don't have to tell me twice

#Gliese Benral #Emerel Victis #havesomefantrolls #this was actually a discord rp but we styled it as a PC one

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