#anyways half way through this post I realised I have So Many Issues TM

[spicyicymeloncat]

Yknow something that gets me abt certain fanon depictions of kai is that he’s portrayed with no sense of self preservation, as if he’s self sacrificing and burned out, and I think I dislike it bc it feels like the opposite of his character most of the time.

Yeah some of the actions he takes are harmful to himself in some way, but it’s never intended to, they were ways of coping and making himself feel better.

Like the green ninja plot, he is insecure in his place, so he strives for the highest title to make him feel better.

The red shogun isn’t him beating himself up and not caring about his own well being. He was winning fights, fully engaging in the job, taking his frustration out on others and drinking away his issues, and yeah there’s self loathing in that, but there’s also him trying to make himself feel better, to redirect hurt away from himself.

Him prematurely concluding his parents were the bad guys in s7, is (imo) his way of rationalising his mixed feelings, in order to keep himself okay.

He’s not a reckless war machine who throws himself into battle with no hesitation, he tries to keep himself safe.

Kai is self-prioritised and yknow I think people in general really demonise that kinda of trait both in fiction and irl and that’s actually kind of harmful. The self sacrificial trait is so grossly over romanticised and idk it’s a breathe of fresh air when you see a character who doesn’t start out that way or end that way. Like nothing wrong with that trait being written, it’s just like sometimes it feels like people are only allowed to prioritise themselves if they previously have no sense of self care, bc then it’s seen as a healthy improvement. But in any other case, it means you’re selfish and that’s a bad thing apparently.

Like no. Being selfish and loving yourself and thinking you are hot shit and the smartest person alive and prioritising things that make you happy. None of that makes you evil or morally wrong. If in attempts to meet your needs you try to hurt someone else, or end up hurting yourself, then the action you took was bad but the intent isn’t! Fuck the media that finds people loving themselves as immorally wrong! Fuck it! It is not sexy to hate yourself actually.

I want more fanon Kais indulge in activities that make him happy, Kais that make bad decisions in trying to protect himself and Kais that have good coping mechanisms because he’s still trying to protect himself he’s just found better ways of doing it.

Bc it’s canon and it feels like it gets erased a bit because people somehow don’t find self love appealing unless the character was self hating first.

#tangibly related but the people who think that kai sacrificed everything often forget that Nya #every fucking season she is sacrificing and giving up shit #like she is right there #she’s not AS bad either but like she does so much for the sake of others yknow #can someone #someone write a fic #where kai teaches Nya to have more self preservation and to not get flung about by others needs #pls #anyways half way through this post I realised I have So Many Issues TM #Like oh god #the whole ‘I don’t matter! my only purpose is to be there for my friends’ fucked me up so hard that like to this day #i cannot see when someone crossed multiple boundaries that they probably shouldn’t #because my brain is lazer focused on trying to be convenient to them #like oh man #im traumatised #and Ik there’s definitely so many of you on tumblr who are probably the same #because we live in a capitalist society where the walls subtly remind you that you must be convenient #and so many of you are queer and used to having to repress your identity for other people’s comfort #and so many of you are neurodivergant/disabled and are told every day that meeting your needs are inconvenient for everyone else #BUT THIS IS WHY WE SHOULD BE PROUD OF BEING SELFISH AND LOVING OURSELVES #BECAUSE ITS HARD SOMETIMES AND THE FACT THAT WE CAN FIND LOVE FOR OURSELVES IS SUCH AN AMAZING SKILL #AHHHHH #sorry for cutting so deep into this #i need a therapist maybe #ninjago #Ninjago kai #ninjago analysis