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krobuss · 6 years

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nerds

Word Count: 1000~ || Time Taken: 30 mins.

Summary: I couldn't decide between Outdoors and Recording so I did both. This is messy and I'll tweak it when I'm not in pain.

Tags: @septiplierweek

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The best thing to ever happen to YouTubers had to be the vlog. It was easy to do, pretty easy to edit together, and it was still somehow intriguing to audiences. When Mark went to visit Jack in Brighton for a month, vlogs were something he fell onto hard when the gaming videos in storage ran out and he felt bad asking to borrow Jack's place (even though he did once or twice).

Today was no exception.

Mark turned on the camera, too tired to care for the awkward angles or the fact that Jack was clinging to him with every intention on staying under the covers. There was nothing obscene about the image, just two dudebros cuddling in the same bed with messy hair.

Mark yawned, rubbing at his eyes before speaking in a low voice. "It is currently 6:00 in the morning, Sean is not letting me get out of bed and honest to God, I am going to murder this alarm clock for not letting me sleep in. It's been two weeks in Brighton and this damn thing hasn't let me adjust at all since I've got here. At this point, I'm pretty sure my boyfriend is a demonic entity that likes to torture poor souls with loud alarm clocks." Jack mumbled something and Mark adjusted the camera, placing it on the bedside table so it could continue recording but only have the alarm clock in its view. "Jack, wake up, we have stuff to do."

"No."

"You're the one that sets up that godawful thing, suffer the consequences."

Another whine, some shuffling, and a thump later and Mark was facing the camera towards him again, grinning. They walked out of the room anf to the kitchen. "He kicked me off of the bed. I'm going to get some coffee for us to hopefully lift up his mood." The footage cut off.

The next scene of the video was taking place in the kitchen. Sunlight was streaming in through the windows and both males sat in their pajamas at the table, eating some breakfast.

"I made the coffee but Jack here made the food and the Irish must have some magic in them because these are the best eggs I've ever had and he made them the same way everybody does."

"You're just biased because you love me."

"I do, don't I?" They shared a smile before Mark wad talking to the camera again. "Today we're gonna go to an amusement park that opened up nearby. Apparently, the rollercoasters in the UK are 'so much better' than the ones in America." He spoke with quotation marks and an eye roll, throwing a grin across his shoulder at Jack's offended look.

"They are! Prepare your socks to be completely blown off," Jack shouted shortly before shoveling a piece of bacon into his mouth, grinning like a mad man. Mark rolled his eyed with a smile, before turning the camera off.

Another cut and they were walking along a sidewalk, a fence behind them and people trying to desperately avoid the camera's view. Both boys were combed, clean, and dressed, the weather sunny despite most of the days being cloudy.

"It's been raining the past few days so I know for a fact that this sun is a blessing sent specifically for us to have a good time." Jack waved at the camera with his free hand, the other one clasped in Mark's. His chin settled uncomfortably onto Mark's shoulder and the half-Korean couldn't help that his cheeks warmed.

"Everything is going our way; I can't wait to see how things get fucked over," Jack giggled, deciding it too hard to be walking on a crowded sidewalk, hold hands with Mark, and keep his chin up on the other's shoulder. "I have this little umbrella just in case things go to shit for me."

"You're only going to cover yourself? What if I have cotton candy and it starts raining?" Mark said, already pouting. Upon hearing Jack say he'll take the cotton candy with him under the umbrella, Mark pouted more just as the video cut off again.

The next minute of the video was a compliation of pictures the two took of each other: eating food, getting onto the rollercoaster, Jack regretting getting onto said rollercoaster, winning prizes, losing money, a lot of blurry shots of the two screaming together and particularly dizzying rides. The last photo contained the two cuddling up in what fans assumed to be a tunnel of love, smiles on both of their faces. The photo faded out to Jack holding the camera, eyes bright and corners of his mouth turned up, both of them sitting on a couch as a movie played in the background.

"So, Mark, what did we learn?"

"That you absolutely suck at not puking on rollercoasters." The smile turned into a scowl and Mark recieved a punch on the arm, both boys giggling. "But, America does need to step up its game on rollercoasters."

"So I was right?"

"I've said this like, twenty times, Sean, you were right! I can't believe you're filming my defeat for the sake of watching it again later on."

"I'm recording because you said you were too tired to give them any other footage! If I happen to catch you saying I'm right while doing it, well--" The camera jostled and fell onto the ground, the only thing visible was the leg of a coffee table and two pairs of feet covered in socks.

"If that's broken, you're paying me back for it."

"Will a kiss be enough payment?"

A pause. "Well, I mean, it's a start."

A mumble came before a muffled giggling but the video cut off at that moment and, an hour after it's publishing, fans deemed the audio too quiet to decipher. That was just as well

#hi envy c:#septiplier #my writing #writing #i forgot the tag #uhhhh #septiplierweek2018 #long post

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rachelisnotatwork · 5 years

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Week 6: in which there’s a big rock, papier-mache apples, a giant fork and I probably get arsenic poisoning

Google is normally pretty good at guessing how long drives will take...apart from in rural Australia. I think it must base it’s data on the seemingly endless caravans and camper vans, because it assumes an average speed of 80kmph in the Northern Territories when the speed limit is 130 kmph on the highway and there isn’t much (apart from the occasional overtaking of a caravan or road train) to stop you driving that speed.

The result was that whilst we’d planned the entire day to drive down from Alice Springs to Kings Canyon, we were done by around about late lunchtime. We decided to go for a short easy walk down by Katherine Springs. It was into a valley so we were hopeful for shade as it was a “cool” 36c. Alas there was no shade apart from by the almost dried-up waterhole at the end of the walk, and there were enough of Australia’s fucking persistent flies to discourage that (seriously, I don’t know how they survive as you go somewhere with no signs of life, water or really anything you’d think a fly could live on but the second you get out of the car 500 turn up and try and fly up your nose). Thanks to the flies and the heat, we’d done the walk at a pretty decent clip so we still had plenty of time before sunset.

The main reason people go to Kings Canyon is to do the rim walk, which you have to start by 9am on most days because it is too hot in the afternoon for anyone to want to do CPR on your sunburnt corpse if you collapse from heatstroke. There is however a walk in the canyon, which we did although the end of it was shut due to a landslide. This landslide cemented the reasons I’d not be doing the walk the next morning- 1) I hate dawn 2) my knees hate steps and there are 1000 involved 3) I hate heights, especially when I think the cliff top I’m walking on has a chance of sliding in a landfall into a valley.

It was growing close to sunset at this point so we headed to our hotel at Kings Canyon Resort. This is the only hotel for about a hundred kilometres and they are very well aware of that fact, so they were both the most expensive hotel we’ve stayed in on this trip and the providers of the worst service. Think comically bad, including a buffet crawling with flies and most of the lights in our room being broken. Thankfully since Marcel had to get up at 5am to start the walk at the recommended sunrise, we could go to bed early.

The plan before we’d visited the resort was that Marcel would return at about 10am and then we’d have a nice brunch/early lunch. However the walk time (4 hours) was presumably for overweight elderly tourists because he was back home by 7.30am. Which I was thrilled about as I had pretty much no desire to stay any longer at the resort. We went for the free breakfast (fly-ridden again) and then tried to plan what to do with our day. Because we’d thought we wouldn’t have left until later in the day, we had just planned on driving to our next lodging (a road house in the middle of nowhere) before visiting Uluru the day after. However we didn’t really want to arrive at our road house in the middle of nowhere at 11am, so we decided we’d move our timetable forward a day and visit Uluru that day.

We arrived in time to have some (thankfully fly-free, palatable) lunch before heading to the national park. There are two attractions in the National Park, Uluru and the Kata Tjuta, which is a collection of rocks similar to Uluru but very close to each other. We decided to go there first.

When you drive into the park, you are given a leaflet warning you about the heat and also about hyponatraemia from over-drinking water. I’m not surprised that they had to warn people about hyponatraemia as everywhere inside the park it says to drink at least 1 litre of water an hour. Assuming you are out there for the daylight hours, that would be 13 litres of water a day. Not a sensible amount to drink.

There is one bigger long walk at Kata Tjuta, which was closed because it was too hot, and one shorter one that was open and described itself as going into a lush valley. I assumed this would mean shaded. I assumed wrong. It was in full 37C sun all the way.

Afterwards we headed over to Uluru. I have always thought “but isn’t it just a really big rock?” The answer is, yes, yes it is. It is really very big, but...I guess I’m a bit spoilt from travelling because Utah is very full of big red rocks, which might not be quite as big but they form lots of nice things to see that are much more accessible and most of the time it isn’t hotter than the surface of the Sun there. It’s quite a nice rock, but it costs a small fortune to get there and we’d pretty much driven for days to get there.

We did a few short walks around it’s base and went to the sunset viewing area to see the sun go down. It looked just like it does in the photos. Which means you can go now to google images and avoid the whole hassle.

We had dinner in the town by Uluru as we were about a three hour drive from our roadhouse and that would have stopped serving food long before we got there (we tried to book accommodation 6 weeks in advance in the town with Uluru in but by the time we tried everything was booked out). We then headed out onto the completely empty roads (it is really in the middle of nowhere so there is no through traffic). The drive back was mildly hair-raising as we shared the road with a LOT of wildlife. A dingo, a herd of horses that emerged from the darkness, several herds of cows that we had to slam on our brakes for and a pair of kangaroos. Arrived at our road house at near midnight feeling very lucky that we hadn’t crashed into any large animals as amongst everything else, there is no reception on roads like that and it would have been about 150km to the nearest emergency phone.

Our roadhouse accommodation had just left an envelope with our room keys in stuck to the door. There was a little bit of information about the property including the line “Our water is from a bore hole”. Okay I thought, lots of people’s are, doesn’t seem to taste any worse than any of the other water around here (water tastes terrible in most of Australia, I assume because they are so short of it that it is either desalinated or from some underground reservoir). It was only the next morning when we went into their cafe that we saw the notices above the taps about how you couldn’t drink the water or even boil it for tea. So when I die of arsenic poisoning, we will know why.

There wasn’t much to do at the roadhouse beyond pose at the sign marking the centre of Australia and see their “famous” chicken, Chuck Norris, who apparently thinks he is a kangaroo. He just looked and acted like a regular chicken but I guess there isn’t much in the way of entertainment or fame in those parts.

We had been supposed to have two nights at this road house, but instead we drove onto our next destination, Coober Pedy, a day early.

Coober Pedy is a very strange town. Opals were found in that area and the town sprang up around the mining community. The surrounding area could best be described as a boiling wasteland, so everyone lived in mine tunnels and so about half the town is underground. Driving up to our hotel, it just looked like a hillock. A hillock with a door in the side. We headed in and were shown to a rather cosy, albeit dark room, carved out of the rock with a slight whistling from air coming down the ventilation pipe.

The next day we decided to explore the sights of the town. The first stop was the Serbian Orthodox Church. This was carved by very devoted miner on his day’s off. The place was empty except for one elderly man, very determined to insert the vacuum cleaner he was wielding in front of my camera every time I tried to take a picture.

After that we headed to The Big Miner (a large miner) and a dumped spaceship prop from a movie.

Then we headed to go on a self-guided tour of an old mine. They made you wear helmets. I snorted slightly at this as I thought it was health and safety gone overboard. However the tunnels were about 5ft tall and I hit my head about 500 times in 20 minutes. Part of that was due to being repeatedly startled by creepy mannequins.

Attached to the mine was a museum, which was mostly full of random rocks but it did have some clippings from some great 1920s and 1930s newspapers that they’d found left down the mine.

It also featured a poster on the snakes of Australia, including this one that really doesn’t cope well with rejection.

After relaxing in our room for a bit, we headed out to an area called The Breakaways for sunset. These are some hills in the middle of an area called the Moon Plain, which is miles and miles of nothingness which is apparently of a very similar composition to Mars.

The Breakaways were still boiling despite it nearly being sunset and despite there being no tourists, or really any signs of life, as soon as we got out the car we found….lots of flies willing to try and fly into our eyeballs. Thankfully once you climbed any of the hills it got really windy, which confounded them for a few brief minutes.

We couldn’t stay there until actual sunset as there are pretty much only two restaurants in town and one of them seemed by its menu to be committed to casual racism so we had to make it back before the other place, a pizza joint, shut.

The next day we left Coober Pedy and drove down to Adelaide. This was our longest drive of the trip- 9 hours, because there was pretty much nothing worth stopping at. It was also the biggest contrast. We went from 37c desert to huge fields of hay being harvested and by the time we arrived in Adelaide it was only 10c! I had to dust out my thermals from where they’d been hanging out in the bottom of my suitcase. We’d had quite enough of the car by that stage so walked to a surprisingly good neighbourhood Japanese restaurant (Yakitori Takumi, if you ever find yourself in North Adelaide) and then on our way back home, not only did we find a giant fork to pose with, we also found a late night chocolate dessert bar!

Adelaide is a very green city, so we decided to make it an outdoorsy sort of day. We had brunch (oh the joys of being back in a big city) and then walked to the Botanical Garden. There was a huge queue there to see a corpse flower that was flowering, which we decided to skip (despite the inbuilt British love of queueing) but we did head into the Museum of Economic Botany, mostly because we were curious what that meant. It turned out to be “plants that you can in someway exploit”. Anyway, it was pretty interesting and contained a huge collection of incredibly realistic papier-mache apples. I don’t quite remember how that fit in with the theme, but they were impressive.

Afterwards we decided we’d see if we could circumnavigate the centre by walking through all of the cities network of parks. It was a lovely sunny day and the parks there are beautiful...and also riddled with weddings and wedding parties getting photographed on a hot spring day. At one point we wandered into a Japanese garden to find a queue of bridal parties waiting to pose for photos.

We got pretty tired and stopped for ice cream at a place called 48 flavours (does just what is says on the tin) and I was intrigued enough to get a pear, walnut, fig and roquefort ice cream. Marcel was horrified. I rather enjoyed it though and it gave me enough energy to stagger home. Probably would not have worn my flip flops that morning if I’d known we were going to walk 16kms…

Sunday it was time to say goodbye to Adelaide (after brunch of course) and drive down to our next stop, Warrnambool. We’d thought we’d get there a while before dark because google had always predicted our journeys to take much longer than we actually took. We had however forgotten about the existence of other cars. We were now in the part of Australia with other cars, settlements to pass through with low speed limits etc. It was…annoying. I did find a giant rhino to pose with though.

We had wanted to walk at a small park where an extinct volcano had left a lake, because it was apparently one of the spots where you could see emus, kangaroos and koalas in one place. I’d seen a koala earlier in the day, ambling along the side of the road, whilst driving, however Marcel had been busy pouring over the map at the time and missed it. He was thus desperate to see one. We arrived shortly before sundown. It was cold. 12c. There was no one else in the park (win) and right in front of the (unmanned) visitors centre there were emus and kangaroos grazing. However walking around the lake we saw approximately 0 koalas.

Plus on the way back to the car park our route was blocked by a very large male kangaroo. The problem with male kangaroos is that when they challenge each other to a fight, they stand up straight, so our bipedalism is taken as an invitation to a boxing match. We had to take a huge detour to our car as we had little interest in being disembowelled by an angry kangaroo.

By the time we arrived in Warrnambool it was 8c and I was suffering from temperature shock from having gone from nearly 40c to misty breath and cold toes in a week. Luckily our airbnb had a huge bath so after grabbing some Thai take out, I spend the evening wallowing in that, topping up the hot water and wondering how we could be in the same country we’ve been sweating in for the last 6 weeks.

Ways I’ve thought I might die in Australia this week: the standard heatstroke, hyponatraemia, some sort of epic GI disease secondary to a buffet of flies, death by crashing into a cow in the dark, poisoned by borehole water, from the collapse of an ancient opal mine, beaten by angry brides for ruining the background of their photoshoot, disembowelled by an angry kangaroo, hypothermia.

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