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Loving Her: Alex Morgan - Chapter 13

A/N: This is dedicated to @wosorad and all my craclheads. I hope you enjoy and not to flex but the official word count is: 7683 and it is 4:17 am so...

Alex POV:

I woke up with a smile as I cuddled further into (Y/N). She is probably the best person cuddle with. I watched her sleep for a moment as I thought about how perfect the last couple days have been. It feels like it did back when we first got together. Nothing but bliss. The guilt of what I did is starting finally go away, so it makes being with (Y/N) a whole lot easier.

“Morning.” She mumbled as she moved a little to adjust her position. She pulled me a little, so I was more on top of her as she started rubbing circles on my back. I rested my head on her chest listening to her heartbeat.

“Morning.” I said as I moved my head to look up at her.

“Sleep well?”

“Yeah, you’re a really good pillow.” I said as she chuckled

“It’s all I am good for.” She joked as I smiled. “I knew that was the only reason you were with me.”

“Yeah as long as you stay comfortable to sleep on…is as long as I’ll stay with you.”

“Okay I’ll keep that in mind.” She said leaning down to give me a kiss. “I don’t want to train today.”

“Me neither. We want to win though so we need to train.” I said as she scoffed.

“How dumb is that…”

“Not dumb at all.” I said as she shook her head.

“I have to actually put effort in to win the world cup.” She said sarcastically as I grinned at her.

She got a really serious look on her face as I frowned at her. I don’t know why she looked so serious all of a sudden.

“I really love you.” She said as I frowned. I was used to her being serious, but usually it was an angry serious…this looked more like a sad serious.

“I love you too.” I said giving her a concerned look. “What’s wrong?”

“Nothing. I just wanted you to know that.” She said putting a smile on her face though I could still see some sadness on her face.

“Of course, I know that…” I said still feeling concern. “I love you so much.”

“I know. I love you too.”

We laid there for another few moments before it was time for us to get up and ready for training. Things have been perfect the last few days, but something was off today. She seemed off today. I observed her movements and she seemed to pretty stuck in her head which had me concerned.

We made our way down to breakfast where she seemed to come out a little as we came into the presence of everyone else. The conversations were mostly about what was going on outside of the team and what the next game was going to look like. Pinoe had expressed some concern in her leg which immediately had the rest of us concerned.

After breakfast we made our way to training, that’s where (Y/N) always shined. She was best when she got to train or play. So, it was nice to see her in her own element. We had gone through most of training with us being in a cool off period at the end.

“So, how many kids are you up to now?” Ash asked (Y/N) who frowned at her.

“What are you talking about?” she asked with confusion evident on her face.

“All your adopted kids.” She said as (Y/N) eyes widened and she immediately started shaking her head.

“You have adopted kids?” I asked as she frowned at me and shook her head

“I don’t have any kids.”

“I counted like four kids for you.” Pinoe said stretching out a little.

“Who?”

“Tierna, Mal, Sonnett, and Rose.” I grinned when (Y/N) dropped and she started glaring.

“Actually, I think the only kid you could say is Tierna.” Becky said as (Y/N) rolled her eyes.

“No, the others look up to her just as much. Also, its five because you have to include Sam.” Kelley said as I laughed at the look on her face.

“No, they are not my kids.” My girlfriend said with irritation.

“You don’t want kids?” Christen asked to which I immediately looked over and saw her face drop again.

“I want kids. Not them though.” She said as we continued cooling off.

“Oh Jesus.” Ash mumbled as we all looked over to see Sonnett trying to climb on the back of Sam’s shoulders with Rose and Mal both filming. Tierna was off to the side shaking her head a little.

“No! Hey! Stop that…you’re going to hurt yourself.” (Y/N) yelled walking towards them.

“It was Sonnett’s idea.” Mal said as all of them pointed at Sonnett who groaned.

“You guys are a bunch of fucking tattletales.” Sonnett groaned.

“Watch your mouth.” (Y/N) said as she finally got to them and started scolding them about potentially hurting themselves.

“Definitely her kids.” Christen said as we all laughed.

Once practice was over, we made our way back to the hotel. (Y/N) was in the shower when my phone started ringing. I noticed it was my sister calling.

“Hey Jeri.”

“Hey. Where are you right now?” she asked as I furrowed my eyebrows. She sounded a little worried.

“I am in my hotel room.” I replied as she sighed.

“Okay. I need to tell you something, but you can’t freak out.”

“What?” I asked feeling a little concern start to build up

“Servando is here.” I froze as she started explaining that they had seem him around the hotel that we were all at. Of all the things I was expecting, that wasn’t it. “Alex? Alex! Are you still there?”

“I’m here. Are you sure?”

“Yes. You were with the guy for ten years; I think I can recognize him.”

“Have you talked to him?”

“No, mom and I saw him and then immediately left to call you.”

“What is he doing here?”

“I don’t know. I assume here to see you.” She said as I frowned.

“I don’t want to see him. Jesus, I am finally happy, and he has to come back around.” I said in frustration

“Are you going to talk to him?” she asked as I shook my head a little.

“I don’t know. Should I?” I asked as she sighed on the phone.

“That’s up to you lex...” she said as I frowned. I knew (Y/N) would be out of the shower soon so I needed to get off this phone call.

“I got to go. I’ll call you later.”

“Okay. Just wanted to give you the heads up about him.”

“Yeah I really appreciate it.” I said as we said our goodbyes.

I sighed as I threw my phone on to the bed. If Servando is here, he is most likely here for me and I don’t know how to feel about that. Throughout our entire relationship, that’s all I ever wanted was for him to show up and be there for me. Now it feels upsetting to think he is somewhere in the same hotel as me. I love (Y/N) more than anything. She is the person I want to be with for my future. I see it all, but I also used to see that same future with Servando. I used to think that Servando was going to be the love of my life for the rest of my life.

“You okay?” I looked up at (Y/N) who was giving me a small smile.

“Yeah I am good.” I said as she nodded her head.

“So, I was thinking…instead of going out with the team tonight if you would let me take you to dinner.”

“Are you asking me on a date?” I asked as she smiled at me

“I am asking you on a date.” I smiled and nodded my head at her as she grinned. “Wonderful.”

We left the room to go spend some time with our other teammates before getting ready for our date. Once we left the hotel, we did our best to be discreet though I knew it was only a matter of time before someone recognized us. I was enjoying the time I was getting alone with (Y/N) right now though. Most of the dinner was going really well…we hadn’t been recognized yet and we were about to pay the check so…successful date if I do say so myself.

“So, are you more excited for your birthday or getting to play England?”

“Is it bad that I am more excited to play?”

“Nope. Not at all. If we beat them and go to the final, then I get to play on my birthday.” She said as I nodded.

“So, you get it…” I said as she nodded and grinned at me. “Got to beat England first though.”

“Yeah. We will. I have faith in us.” She said as I smiled. She stared at me for a moment before getting a serious look on her face. “What’s on your mind?”

“What do you mean?”

“Somethings on your mind…you seem a little distracted.” She said as I sighed. I should have known that she would know something was up immediately. No one could read me better than her.

“I just got some…weird news today.”

“You want to talk about it?” she asked with a look of concern.

“Servando is here in France. He hasn’t contacted me at all. Jeri called me and said that her and my mom had seen him around the Hotel, and I don’t know…it’s weird because I know he’s probably here for me and it’s just very weird...” I said as she nodded her head. She didn’t seem very surprised to hear that he was here. “You don’t seem surprised…”

“I ran into him last night.” She said as my jaw dropped. I felt a little anger or maybe it was irritation crawl up over me.

“You ran into him?” I asked as she gave me a small look. She was paying the bill as I focused in on her.

“Yes, I ran in to him.” She said with a small frown.

“Why didn’t you tell me?” I asked as she frowned at me

“I don’t know. I was really kind of taken aback when I saw him.” She said getting a little defensive.

“What did he say to you?” I asked as her frown deepened.

“Why does it matter?”

“Well, does he know that we are together?”

“It doesn’t matter.” She replied as I let out a huff.

“Does…he…know?” I asked more sternly as she glared.

“Is that all you care about? Are you worried or something?” she asked as I scowled. I knew what she was implying, and it only pissed me off.

“I don’t care if he knows.” I said as she rolled her eyes.

“Clearly.” She said as she stood up to walk out. I stood with her to follow just as we were recognized. I internally groaned as I realized that we would have to put smiles on our face despite actually being angry.

Once we were done interacting with people, we headed out. The travel back to the hotel was quiet as we made our way to our room. She hadn’t said a word to me as I got lost in my thoughts. I didn’t know why the fact that she hadn’t said anything was so irritating. I didn’t know why she was so mad at me either.

“Are we really not going to talk about this?” I asked as she shook her head a little.

“I don’t want to fight. I told you if you have any problems…I don’t want to hear it until the World Cup is over.”

“Yeah, because not dealing with our issues has worked out so well in the past.” I said as she immediately turned towards me with a furious expression. I might have hit a soft spot.

“Fuck you.” She said as I winced. “I didn’t tell you about that jackass being here because quite frankly I didn’t want to see your reaction.”

“What does that even mean?” I asked with a frustrated look.

“Do you really think it made me feel good to run into my girlfriends ex-husband?” she asked as I frowned. She had a point. That could not have been great. “Also, I don’t want to hear this bullshit about not dealing with my problems. I am well aware of the mistakes I have made in the past. I don’t need you bringing it up at your own convenience.”

“This doesn’t need to be a big deal. I just wanted to know why you didn’t tell me.”

“Of course, it’s a big fucking deal Alex!” she said throwing her arms in the air with a frustrated expression. “He’s your ex-husband. He’s here in France. Probably for you.”

“It doesn’t if we don’t let it be…” I said softly taking a step towards her. She looked down before looking up at me with an exhausted expression.

“Can you honestly tell me that you don’t want to see him?” she asked as I opened my mouth to respond, but then stayed quiet. That was just it, wasn’t it? I wanted to know specifically why he was here. Which means I did want to see him.

“Right. That’s what I thought.” She said as I took her face in my hands.

“I love you.” I said as she looked down again before closing her eyes. “I only want you.”

“You can’t even say that you don’t want to see him.”

“I want to know why he is here.” I said as she sighed

“It doesn’t matter why...” She said as I frowned and shook my head.

“It does, but I only love you. You are my whole world.” I said as she licked her lips before focusing in on me.

I pulled her closer into a kiss. She responded grabbing onto my waist. I tried to put all my emotions into the kiss, because I needed her to know that she was the love of my life. I wanted her and only her. That was never going to change.

“Please don’t meet with him…” she said softly. Her eyes were closed as I frowned at her. “If you’ve ever loved me at all, then you won’t go…”

“(Y/N)…” I said as she pulled away from me.

“Alex…” I stared at her trying to find it in me to say no. “Please…”

“Fine.”

“Promise me…” she said as I bit my lip.

“I promise.”

She gave me a look of uncertainty as she stepped towards me pulling me in for a hug. I let her hold me as I rested my head on her shoulder. I know she is just worried about our relationship, but I was still dying to know why he was here. Also, what he said to (Y/N)…I still wanted to know that, but I wasn’t going to get an answer from her.

“I love you” she mumbled as I nodded my head a little.

“I know. I love you too.” I said as I pulled away slightly and gave her a kiss.

“Do you want to watch Netflix, or we can go hang out with everyone…” she said albeit a little awkwardly.

“We can watch Netflix if you want.” I said as she smiled at me. She nodded as we then got comfortable watching some random show. I got a little lost in my thoughts over everything. On one hand, I completely understand where is coming from because if it was reversed…I’d probably kill a bitch. On the other hand, the curiosity is killing me.

It wasn’t long after that she started drifting to sleep. I smiled at how cute she was. I didn’t want to risk my relationship with her. I don’t know what I would do if I ever lost her. Knowing why Servando is here….it’s not worth losing (Y/N). He hasn’t even reached out and maybe we shouldn’t assume that he is going too.

I shut off the computer we were using and placed it on the ground before making sure our alarms were set. I climbed into bed snuggling into her as she wrapped an arm around me. At this moment, there was truly nowhere I wanted to be than right here.

Once morning came, I let a smile cross my face as kisses were being placed on my face. I started laughing as (Y/N) continued placing kisses on my face.

“Happy.” Kiss. “Birthday.” Kiss. “You.” Kiss. “Beautiful.” Kiss. “Human.” Kiss. “Being” Kiss.

“Morning.” I said as she grinned down at me. “What a wonderful way to wake up.”

“Nothing but the best for my girlfriend.” She said as I grinned at her. She gave me another kiss as I held onto her to keep her in place. I wrapped my legs around her waist to make sure she couldn’t move as I deepened the kiss. Her hand went to my upper thigh as things started getting more heated. She then started placing kisses on my neck as I tried to hold back the moan that was threatening to slip out.

We both jumped slightly when the alarm that I had set the night before went off. I groaned as she chuckled a little. She reached over and turned it off as she hovered over me again. I licked my lips as I leaned up to give her a kiss. She leaned back and gave me an amused smile.

“As much as I would love to give you some birthday sex…” I bit my lip trying to give her the most seductive look I could. “mmm…don’t do that…”

I pulled her towards me and started pressing kisses to her neck as she groaned slightly. Knowing she was slightly distracted; I used all my strength to flip us over. I was on top of her as she gave me a surprised look. I had her arms pinned above her head as I intertwined our fingers. I leaned down to give her a kiss as she leaned up to meet my lips.

We continued kissing for a few more minutes before she basically threw me off of her. I landed on the bed with a little bounce as she stood up. She placed her hands on her hips as she stared at the ceiling taking deep breaths. I sat up so I was on my knees as I gave her an amused smile.

“Stop doing that.” She said as I grinned at her. I reached for her arm as she pulled away. “No, you stay on that side of the room,”

I pouted at her as she shook her head. I grinned when she walked towards the bathroom muttering about ‘keeping it in your pants’. I sat back on the bed reaching for my bed as I answered all my birthday texts and retweeted some of the birthday messages I was getting. I made a quick gameday post as I waited for (Y/N) to come out the bathroom.

“So, do you want your gift now or later?” I thought for a moment as I stared at her.

“Later.” I said as she gave me a surprised look.

“If we lose, then I have something to look forward to.” I said as she nodded her head.

“Fair enough.” She said as we both started getting ready for the day. We made our way to breakfast with the team with everyone telling me Happy Birthday. The day was moving quickly as we went through our team meeting. We had found out that Pinoe wasn’t going to play because of her injury and that Christen would be starting instead. Its an equal trade. So, I wasn’t really worried.

The ride over to the stadium was mainly everyone focused on the game. I was excited to get to play. I was really hoping to score today due to it being my birthday.

Once we got to the stadium, we got our stuff settled and went out to do our warm-ups. Some of the journalists on the sides were already buzzing upon seeing Pinoe not dressed for warm-ups. That was definitely going to be something talked about after the game. If we lost, it would be because Pinoe was on the bench. If we won, it would be because of Jill’s brilliance. So, we lost either way.

The game quickly started as both teams tried to attack. In the 4th minute, (Y/N) got the ball and nutmegged one of the English players in the box. I was open, but she elected to take the shot on her own. It was saved before Christen got it and played it back in the box. It eventually fell to me as I blasted it over the goal. Not even a minute later I was going for the ball before my feet were taken out from under me. I immediately heard (Y/N) protest as the ref blew the whistle. I laid there for a moment before moving to get up. She helped me up as I shook my head at her. She rolled her eyes before she turned and started walking towards the box for the free kick. I really didn’t need her losing her head.

I groaned a little when the ball went just over my head after Christen’s free kick. The game continued after that with both teams still trying to find a goal. I watched as Tobin ran upfield passing the ball to (Y/N) who let it go for Kelley who crossed it. It flew right over everyone right to Christen who got her head on it. I felt my heart explode as the ball flew into the back of the net. I celebrated with them as we all gave her hugs. I can only imagine what this goal means to her. As we were walking back to midfield, I smiled when (Y/N) turned around real quick and picked Christen up in a hug.

“I’m so proud.” She said as Christen grinned at her.

“Thank you.” Christen replied as we got back to midfield

The game then was back on with England trying to find an equalizer. I couldn’t help put feel a little amusement when one of (Y/N)’s shots went over the goal.

“Fuck.” She said turning to get back into position. I shot her a little smile as she rolled her eyes.

I felt frustration take over a little when Ellen White scored in the 19th minute. I could see the frustration on everyone’s face as we watched the English players celebrate.

“It’s okay.” (Y/N) said as she motioned for us all to calm down. “We aren’t out yet.”

We continued playing when in the 24th minute, I was going for the ball at the same time as Lucy Bronze who basically body checked me. I felt to the ground in pain as they continued playing. It was a few moments before they stopped the play. I laid on my back trying to control my breathing as (Y/N) approached. She had a concerned look on her face as she bent down to look at me.

“How are you doing baby?” she asked me softly as I stared at her for a moment. I closed my eyes before trying to sit up.

“I’m fine.” I said as she offered me a hand and pulled me up on my feet. I quickly got back to playing though I’d be lying if I said my head wasn’t hurting a little.

In the 31st minute, Abby sent a great ball to Christen who was able to bring it down with her chest. She passed it to Lindsay who then crossed the ball into the box to me. I was able to get my head on it and immediately had a heart attack as the ball went into the back of the net. I ran off to the sidelines and did the tea celebration that I had joked about doing in the locker room.

(Y/N) was the first to get to me as she picked me up and spun me around. The others collided with us in the hug as we celebrated the goal. A goal for my birthday? Check.

“Are you fucking kidding me?” she said as I grinned. “Happy Fucking Birthday I guess.”

I smiled at her as we celebrated for another moment before heading back to continue the game. In the 39th minute, Bright basically smacked me in the face causing me to go down. I was getting really tired of these fouls. (Y/N) was then at my side again as she and Tobin argued for a card for Bright. The ref ultimately agreed with them as she gave a yellow card.

The rest of the half went by uneventful really…I made my way into the locker room using a towel to wipe away some sweat as I took a breath. I was definitely going to be feeling these aches tomorrow. I let out a little yelp when (Y/N) picked me up spinning me around.

“A goal for your birthday. Are you serious?” she said as I grinned. Everyone smiled at me as we let ourselves feel a little joy for a second. She the turned towards Christen. “And you! A headed! Is today real?”

We all laughed and enjoyed the moment as we then switched back to game mode. We continued talking tactics talked about potentially adjusting our strategy before heading back out for the second half. The second half started and continued uneventful. Lindsay got carded at one point and JJ went down in the 50th minute. (Y/N) was by JJ’s side in a heartbeat making sure the midfielder was okay as Christen and I spoke to the ref. The next good moment came in the 59th minute when Christen stole the ball. I groaned when she took a shot that wasn’t even close to being on target. Tobin and I were both open and would have had a better shot on goal.

I felt concern flood me in the 64th minute when (Y/N) went down. She was holding her leg a little as I approached her. The ref had already stopped the game as Kelley, and I hovered over her.

“Are you okay?” Kelley asked

“It’s my hamstring.” She said as she grimaced. That can’t be good.

Jill then subbed her out and put Sam into the game. I did my best to ignore the concern inside of me as we continued playing. In the 67th minute, Ellen White scored, but it was called off a minute later. I glanced towards the bench to see (Y/N) covering her mouth while talking to Pinoe which told me she was laughing. She had already spilled the beans earlier about England being one of her least favorite teams to play against. Her words, “They’re a bunch of clowns.” I mean I get why she thinks this… but she shouldn’t say it.

In the 78th minute, Ellen White went down in the box and I held my breath for a second as I waited for the ref to make her decision on whether or not it was going to be a penalty. She said no as I sighed in relief. What I wasn’t expecting was for her to go to VAR. The moment she did I knew it was going to be a penalty. I groaned when she came back with the decision. I knew immediately (Y/N) wasn’t going to stop complaining about this later. Especially, because the foul in question was on Becky.

We lined up for the penalty as we waited for the ref to give the signal. Houghton stepped up to take the penalty and shot it right to the left as Alyssa fell to the left. Alyssa stood as we all hugged her. I have never been more relieved than in this moment. Alyssa then yelled for all of us to start running as I took a glance towards the bench. Everyone was up celebrating, and I could see Ash, Pinoe, and (Y/N) celebrating like idiots.

In the 85th minute, I was taken down yet again and this time maybe was the worst time. I immediately started rolling in pain as Kelley and them came over to check on me. I tried to focus on something else as I waited for the pain to subside. I knew that (Y/N) was probably livid mainly because she couldn’t be on the field with me. Her first reaction whenever I go down is to always make sure I am okay. I could hear the crowd cheering as the ref gave Bright a second yellow which resulted in a red card. England having ten players was definitely going to make it easier for us, but I don’t think the pain in my leg felt as lucky yet. Kelley helped me up as I took another glance to the bench. (Y/N) was on her feet with an angered look on her face. Pinoe seemed to have a grip on her as caught my girlfriends’ eye. I shook my head as she nodded before turning back to go sit down.

I was taken down again a few minutes later as I laid there. I was going to need some cuddles from my girlfriend and a long nap after this game. This is very not cool for it being my birthday. (Y/N) is right. England are a bunch of clowns.

Thankfully, the rest of the game continued without me being taken down like I was throughout the whole game. I grinned when the final whistle went. My eyes immediately searched for (Y/N) as our teammates ran onto the field. I saw her limping slightly. She had a bag of ice wrapped to her leg as I made my towards her. She smiled and hugged me picking me up a little.

“I am ready to commit murder for you.” She said as I laughed.

“Please don’t. Orange isn’t your color.” I said as she grinned at me. We made our way around the field hugging our teammates and shaking the hands of the English players. I did truly feel bad for them, but also…not that bad. I got pulled aside for media and interviews which I tried to get through as fast as possible.

“Can I just say that she is so much fun to sit next to…” Pinoe said to me as I shook my head. “I mean…she was ready to run onto the field and murder someone. Just for you.”

“I know she told me.” I said as she grinned.

“I thought she was going to for a moment. I had to keep a grip on her to make sure she didn’t”

“I believe it.” I said as she was pulled away to do some stuff.

I then made my way to the locker room. I shook my head upon hearing the music blasting as I walked into the room. I saw some of them with their shirts off dancing including my girlfriend. She was dancing next to JJ while Allie was filming all of them. I grinned as Allie then went to post the video. I walked over to (Y/N) and pulled her in for a kiss.

“To the final.” I said as she grinned at me.

“To the final.” She said as we continued celebrating.

After all the excitement, we ended up getting cake and stuff for my birthday as well as Crystals. It was amazing getting to celebrate with everyone. Eventually, we made our way back to the hotel. I was excited because I had got permission to go celebrate with my family a little. (Y/N) wanted to let me have family time so she said she was going to occupy herself with the youngins while I was gone.

Getting to spend time with my family was amazing. I didn’t realize how much I missed them until I was sitting with them.

“Where’s (Y/N)?” my mom asked me as I sat playing with my niece. Gosh, (Y/N) wasn’t kidding when she said my mom loved her.

“She wanted to let me have some time with you guys. She is out hanging with her kids right now.”

“She has kids?!” my dad asked me in shock.

“Not her real kids. Mal and them. We call them her kids because she is very protective over them.” I explained as they nodded.

“I do love her Alex.” My mom said as I nodded my head.

“So do I.” I said as she smiled. Everyone smiled at me. I know it was really difficult for them to see me as hurt as I was with Servando, so I couldn’t imagine how they must feel now that I am with (Y/N).

“Have you talked to…you know who?” Jeni asked me as I frowned. I really didn’t want to talk about this.

“No, he hasn’t said anything to me…I did find out that he ran into (Y/N) in the lobby two days ago.”

“What?” Jeri asked in surprised as everyone had wide eyes. “And she didn’t kill him…?”

“She has a great amount of self-control.” I joked before being a little more serious. “I don’t actually know what happened. She didn’t tell me what was said. Just said she ran into him.”

“You don’t find that weird?”

“Of course, I’m not going to push though. I just got her to forgive me so…I am not taking any chances.”

“Well…he better stay away if he knows what’s good for him.” My mom said as I nodded my head.

“(Y/N) and I already got into a huge fight over it. She made me promise not to see him.”

“…and you agreed? You don’t find that a little controlling?” Jeri asked with confusion.

“I get why she doesn’t want me to see him. I care more about my relationship with her than I do about seeing him.” I said as she nodded.

We continued spending time together before it was time to go back into the bubble with the team. As I was making my way towards the elevators to go find (Y/N). I heard my name be called out and boy if I didn’t want to die on the spot…

“Alex.” Servando called out as I stopped and faced the man. I hadn’t seen him over a year and having him right in front of me felt surreal. “Hey…”

“Hi…” I said trying to hide my discomfort. I had wanted to see him, but now that I was in front of him…I felt guilty. Maybe even a little disgusted with myself.

“Can we talk?” he asked as I bit my lip. “I mean…if you’re not to busy.”

“I…yeah sure…” I said as he smiled at me. We walked out over through the doors that led outside where the pool was. I know (Y/N) made me promise not to see him, but what was I supposed to say.

“Happy Birthday by the way.” He said as I gave him a small smile. “So…”

“What do you want?” I asked as he frowned a little.

“I just want to talk…I came all the way to France to talk.” He said as I rolled my eyes. I so did not miss the beating around the bush bullshit that he does. I am so glad that (Y/N) is straightforward and blunt albeit a little mean sometimes.

“So…talk…” I said as his frown deepened

“I miss you. I realized a little while ago that I missed you. I love you. I made maybe the biggest mistake of my life doing what I did to you. I ruined the best thing to ever happen to me. Alex…I would give anything for a second chance to be with you again. I realized that you’re my soulmate. I was made to love you. I want a second chance.”

I sat for a moment taking in everything he said. I know this exactly why (Y/N) didn’t want me to see him.

“Servando…no.” I said as he furrowed his eyebrows. “I appreciate what you’re saying, but it doesn’t change anything. You cheated on me while we married after we were together for almost ten years. Why would this time be any different?”

“Because I know better now…I know you’re the one meant for me.”

“You didn’t know before? We were fucking married. I thought I was going to spend the rest of my life with you.”

“We can still do that.”

“No, we can’t.” I said as she shook his head. “I am in a relationship.”

“What?” he asked with a look of disbelief.

“Yeah…and it’s going amazing. I’ll be honest with you. I am completely in love. I want to spend the rest of my life with her. She is who I wake up to and who I go to bed with and I will die before I give that up.”

“She?” he asked with an irritated expression. “So, what you’re gay now?”

“Bisexuality is a thing you know…” I said glaring at him. He is so lucky that none of the girls are around because they for sure would have beat his ass for that comment.

“You’ve never been interested in girls before.”

“You don’t know that…” I said rolling my eyes.

“So, who is it?” he asked crossing his arms at me. “Let me guess…is it that (Y/N) girl? She seemed pretty irritated with me when we ran into each other. I thought maybe it was because she knew I cheated on you, but maybe it’s because she’s dating you.”

“It is her actually…and I can tell you that she is better than you’ll ever be. She’s the love of my life. She would never even think about cheating on me.”

“You say that like it was so easy for me to do it.” He said as I stared at him with an incredulous look. “It wasn’t easy being with you. You were never around, and I was constantly being berated on the internet because how could I ever be good enough for THE Alex Morgan…I was treated like a joke Alex. I was blamed for you leaving Portland….I was blamed for every little thing that went wrong in your life…do you think that was easy for me?”

“Do you think it was easy to be cheated on? You made me look like a joke to everyone in our lives. When I said my vows, I meant them. I was going to love you no matter what and I did my best. It’s not my fault that I am better than you. I am never going to sacrifice my career just because you had your feelings hurt. You broke my heart. You almost ruined my entire life. You know who was there to pick up the pieces that you left…(Y/N). These last two years she has been the biggest constant in my life. She has been there for every phone call. Every time I needed her; she was there. We weren’t even together, and she was still going out of her way to be there. That’s what I need. You will never be half of what she is.” I said as I stood up to walk away. He grabbed my arm forcefully pulling me back and kissing me. I stood for a moment in shock before I pulled away and slapped him.

“Don’t you ever put your hands on me again or I will call the fucking police. I’m not kidding Servando. Stay away from me and my family or so help me god…I will make you regret it.” I said as I walked away from him.

I made my way upstairs to my room. I walked in and tried to calm down as I took some deep breaths. I have no idea how I was going to explain this to (Y/N). She was going to be so mad at me. I paced a little until I heard the door open. In walked my girlfriend who had a bright smile on her face.

“Hey!” she said as she sat down. “How as the time you got with your family?”

“It was good.” I said and it must have been the nervousness on my face that tipped her off.

“What’s wrong?”

“I don’t want to tell you.” I said as she frowned.

“Why?”

“Cause you’re going to yell at me and I don’t want to be yelled at right now.”

“Whats going on?” she asked with a tired expression.

“I saw Servando.” I said as she looked at me. She bit her lip and looked down at the floor with a conflicted expression. “He kissed me.”

Her head snapped up as she stood up as I took a step back. I don’t think she would ever lay her hands on me, but I also knew she had a temper and could explode at any moment.

“He what? See…this is exactly why I told you not to go see him. Jesus Alex.” She said starting to pace around the room.

“I know.” I said as she stopped and stared at me with a pained expression.

“You promised me…”

“I know. He caught me in the lobby and asked if we could talk…I said yes, and we did talk. I told him to leave me alone and then he kissed me, and I slapped him.”

“You slapped him?” she asked as I nodded my head. “What did you talk about?”

“He told me he still loved me and wanted to get back together. He also said some hurtful things about what kind of wife I was and implied that I forced him to cheat because of being away due to my career and how he got bullied a lot and…yeah…” I said as she frowned.

“Do you want me to kill him?” she asked seriously as I chuckled a little.

“No.” I said as she nodded her head.

“I am not going to lie Alex. I’m really pissed off right now. I begged you not to see him.” She said closing her eyes as I nodded. “I don’t get it. Why is it that every single time I ask you not to do something…you do it…? Like, that genuinely pisses me off.”

“I know…and I am sorry. How can I make this better?” I asked as she sighed running her hand through her hair. She stood up walking over to her bag. She pulled out a box that was wrapped in some gift paper as she turned towards me.

“Here.” She said handing over the box. “It’s your birthday present.”

I opened the box to reveal a Rolex watch. It was diamond incrusted and inside the watch was an engraving that said, ‘Alex Morgan 13’ in fancy letters. On the back, it said, ‘Dream Big because Dreams do Happen.” It was a cheesy quote but it made my heart swell that she put so much thought into the gift.

“Kelley told me she was getting you some necklace, so I decided to get you something that was a little more fancy. I’ve had it for a while actually.” She said looking down.

“I love it. I’ll wear it all the time.” I set the box down as I took her face in my hands. She frowned as she took a hold of me and pulled away.

“I feel like…god this is so shitty…I feel like maybe we need a break.” She said as I felt my heart begin to break.

“No.” I said as tears started to threaten to come out… “Please don’t do this…”

“Listen to me…I love you, but it feels like all we have done lately is fight…”

“We had one big fight…”

“Over a huge thing Alex…you betrayed my trust.” She said as I wasn’t even stopping the tears. She was really gonna break up with me on my birthday.

“I said I was sorry…” I said as she nodded.

“I know and I know you’re sorry, but if we can’t make it through a month or two without something happening every other day…then we shouldn’t be together.”

“Listen to me…you are the love of my life. I want to be with you and only you.” I said as she nodded her head.

“I know.”

“If you know…then you won’t end things…you have been my rock for two years now. You are the person I am meant to be with. Not Servando. Not anyone else. I need you more than I need air. The idea of losing you tears me apart and I feel like I can’t function.”

“I feel the same way.” She said.

“Then don’t end things.” I pleaded as she sighed again. “I am begging you.”

“I don’t know Alex…” she said softy giving me a sad look. “How do you expect us to make this work…”

I thought about it for a moment. I understand where she is coming from, but on the other hand. I can’t live without her. I would rather die than go another moment where she isn’t mine. I know in my heart that there is no one I would rather be with. My thoughts were racing as I tried to come up with something to answer her. I needed something big that would convince her to stay. I know she loves me. I know she wants to be with me. She needs me to show her that I am just as committed. Her love and devotion has never been questioned by anyone in our relationship. It’s always me that everyone has doubts about. If there was ever a moment to prove my love, this was it.

I looked up at her and wiped away my tears as I gave her a serious look. She still had a sad look on her face as I decided that this was in fact what I wanted to do. I didn’t want to ever go another day without that beautiful face. I know in my heart that this is the right decision, and no one can convince me otherwise. Though, there is no going back after this…

“Let’s get married.”

To Be Continued…

#alex morgan imagine #alex morgan imagines #uswnt imagine #uswnt imagines #uswnt #alex morgan

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uxcollector · 4 years

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How I Re-designed My Life

The story of how I changed my life and ended up in UX

After my Medium article How to become a UX Designer at 40 with no digital or design experience, people asked about the story behind the journey. Slightly self indulgent, but here it is.

“Be the designer of your own destiny”

Oscar De La Renta

Out of Business: Realising your current design doesn’t work

It was June 2008. I was living in Edinburgh, Scotland with my wife and two children. I walked into the Liquidators and signed the paperwork to close my business.

A relief came over me I hadn’t felt for a while.

As I sat in the car I called my mother. She had seen all my ups and downs over the years. This would be no different.

We both cried on the phone. She told me that everything’ll be ok. I knew she was right, but in my heart I felt I’d let her down.

My bad decisions coupled with the UK’s financial crisis had created this. It was time to move to the next chapter.

Managing stakeholders through the change

Redesigning your life effects others. On closing our business I thought most of the hard work was done. I was very wrong.

The bank served me papers, as I had breakfast with my 2 & 3 year old daughters.

Our old friendly mechanic turned up at the door, not so friendly. He demanded answers and money.

People wanted money.

We too wanted money. From the businesses who’d gone out of business, and not paid us.

Acquaintances disappeared.

My family and close friends looked after me in every way. My brothers and parents were amazing as they’ve always been. My wife was caring, patient and concerned.

The result of bad design

The stress had changed me. I was grey around the gills. The weight of worry gave me a pain in my neck.

The phone ringing made me nervous that more bills were coming. I was taking sleeping pills to sleep.

All my eyebrows and eyelashes fell out. I’d had alopecia growing up. This combined with stress was a bad mix.

My body was telling me something. I felt average at best.

Ideating quickly for a large change

Sandrita (my wife) and I decided we would make a big change. We would move the family away from Edinburgh.

We would go to Spain, Argentina, England or Australia. Over many evenings we weighed up the pro’s and cons of each country.

Australia was where we had met in 2002 and that was our choice.

I enrolled as an overseas student in a Landscape Design Course with TAFE in Sydney. The plan was to do the course, and the Australian government would give us residency at the end of the 2 years.

We left Edinburgh without even saying goodbye to everyone.

We felt different about the city we loved so much. Life was different. We were different.

We arrived in Manly Beach, Australia January 2010.

Obstacles, iterations and re-designs

I studied Landscape Design for 2 months. The law changed. We now wouldn’t be able to get residency at the end of the course. We hadn’t planned for this.

After an afternoon of diverging and converging on ideas with Sandrita, I moved to a Business Course.

I decided I needed to talk to more people to achieve our goal. After a chance BBQ I met some great people, and ended up sponsored to run a print business. I was now on a 457 visa.

After two years we received residency. This was the families MVP. We were thrilled to have residency but we knew this was just the beginning.

I realised that the world of print was slowing down. I needed to get into an industry that would be good for the future. I needed to get into something creative that I’d love. I needed to iterate fast.

The final design

I chatted with a good friend of mine Ash Howden. Ash has great tech knowledge so I asked him my options to get into technology? He said Front End Development or UX Design were high in demand fields.

I researched the options and ended up at General Assembly in Sydney, on the 10 week UX Immersive course. I was dropped into a new world!

I learnt that talking to people is so important in being able to get to the best solution. Get ideas from everywhere, everyone is a designer!

The reality of the final design

Study

At General Assembly my teacher was Susan Wolfe. She was a great UX teacher. I was out of my depth but excited to get going. I knew this course were the first steps, of what would be a marathon career change.

I received a great practical foundation in UX Design, but still had a lot to learn.

The portfolio

I worked on what I was going to put into my portfolio. Having looked at lots of designers portfolios I decided to keep it simple.

I wanted an About section. A brief bit about me, my head, contact details and a resume link that could be printed.

For the Work section I would have my 4 General Assembly projects. Within each project I would have an intro, the process (as I new it back then) and images taking people through each story/project.

I created my UX Portfolio by hand in HTML and CSS. I knew bugger all, but was determined to code it by hand. To add to the madness I wanted to make it responsive.

With lots of help from Jack (an awesome GA teacher) I managed to get it finished.

My next portfolio: What I’ll do differently

I won’t code it gain. I will probably use Semplice to create it.

No naff UX GUY title.

Make sure that when you’re in a project on the site that it’s easier to navigate to another project.

Add a section on my UX process and what tools I use.

Add a page for my Medium articles.

Have all real projects.

Time to jump in the deep end!

I then went job hunting with a portfolio of one real-ish project and three not so real ones. I didn’t feel quite ready for the real world, but it was time to jump. Deep breath.

Testing the final designs: Tweaking and iterating

How not to do UX Design

I started on a contract in an agency. One agency put me into another agency. It was myself and one other experienced Designer. He was great, but he left and I was the only designer. This was a painful 3 months. I learnt how not to do things, but very little about what to do. Anxiety levels where high.

“In the pit of my stomach I thought, had I made the right decision getting into UX?”

How to do UX Design

I decided I needed an junior position to learn from the ground up. I messaged Mehran Mozzafari who ran the UX team at Tabcorp in Sydney. He messaged me in for an interview.

I did research on Tabcorp, Mehran and the role. My interview was with Mehran and Mick (Head of Digital Product).

During the interview I explained a little bit about myself. I was asked about my experience in UX. I explained my journey getting there.

Mehran asked me “What do you know about the iOS and Android platforms and how would go about designing for them”

I replied:“ I would read up on them and learn what is required as I’ve never designed for these platforms”

We got on well, I was honest and I was in. Two and a half years later I am still a designer at Tabcorp. I have learnt so much and am ever thankful for Mick and Mehran for taking a chance on me.

The Tabcorp Design team has a great UX process. Working with a double diamond design process has allowed the team to really flourish. Long may it continue.

The Retro: What I learnt re-designing my life

This was a massive learning curve for me. I have always loved change. In many ways I struggle without it. At certain points in the journey it was very uncomfortable.

I learnt to listen. To ask lots of questions. To be patient. To not panic. To iterate with speed and sense.

I learnt to combine gut feeling, logic, research and testing for the best results.

I now know that working with good people is key to good results.

I learnt that everyone has knowledge that could point you in the right direction. Talk to lots of people to get lots of opinions. Something WILL come up that you hadn’t thought about.

I learnt that without a process it is a difficult to design your life effectively. Have a plan and follow it. Take small steps to get to the bigger picture.

I learnt to not be afraid to fail. Fail fast and move on. Come up with crazy ideas. Some may work.

I learnt to embrace lifelong learning and invest in valuable skills for the future.

Be humble. Don’t be too proud. Re-designing anything is all about working towards the end goal. Navigate around the hurdles and keep moving forward. Never give up. With an end goal, a sense of drive and a deadline it’s amazing what you can do.

“I think the biggest design project anyone can have, is their own life”

Jessi Arrington, Designer

Resources about Designing your life

Designing Your Life

Design Your Life

UX Your Life

#iniciar en ux

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recentanimenews · 4 years

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Bookshelf Briefs 9/2/20

Yay! Sean’s back!

Barakamon, Vol. 18 + 1 | By Satsuki Yoshino | Yen Press – I had thought this was something like an epilogue to the series, but it ends up being more of a hodgepodge—there’s a number of 4-koma strips, there’s interviews and yes, there is a short “years later” mini-chapter that assiduously avoids showing us Naru looking older, though it teases it. Instead, the majority of the book is an artbook, showing off color illustrations. And that’s the reason to get it as well, as you’re reminded that the art was also a big strength with this series. The pieces are very character oriented, showing Handa and company in a variety of poses and places, and it adds to the overall peaceful feel that we got from this series. I’ll miss it. Also, show us teenage Naru, you cowards. – Sean Gaffney

Goodbye, My Rose Garden, Vol. 2 | By Dr. Pepperco | Seven Seas – I never actually reviewed the first volume of this series—it came out in the height of COVID isolation, and I was bogged down in other things. It’s quite good, though, being a fairly tortured yuri drama without quite tipping over the edge into melodrama, although the reason it reads so well is that it balances on that edge quite nicely. Here we learn the story of Alice and how she became everyone’s favorite suspicious person, as well as the tie that binds her past with Hanako’s. As for the two of them as a couple, we aren’t there yet, and may not ever get there—it’s unclear if there’s a happy ending coming here. Nevertheless, you hope for one—these two need some good things happening to them. – Sean Gaffney

Goodbye, My Rose Garden, Vol. 2 | By Dr. Pepperco | Seven Seas – I really wish I liked this more. I like the setting—England in 1900—and two heroines who love books (and talk about Oscar Wilde and Sherlock Holmes!) and want to thwart society’s expectations of women while still being constrained by them. But everything just moves so fast! I found myself wishing this was a romance novel instead so it could have a little time to just breathe. They love each other, they find out secrets, Alice’s mom and fiancé conspire to get Hanako sent away, Alice finds her, more secrets are revealed. Nothing really lands with any emotional impact because it’s cruising right along and, in fact, comes to an end in the next volume. I will probably see it through to its conclusion but am overall kinda disappointed. – Michelle Smith

Horimiya, Vol. 14 | By Hero and Daisuke Hagiwara | Yen Press – This is the manga that never ends. It goes on and on, my friends. Given that the writer and publisher seem dedicated to avoiding the original ending of the webcomic, there’s not really much that can be done here except ‘everyday high school life’ shenanigans,’ to the point where I was for once reasonably pleased when Hori’s sadist/masochist tendencies come to the fore again, as she spreads a childish nickname for Miyamura just so that he’ll get mad at her. That said, despite the two being a seemingly close couple, at the end of the day Hori is still a horribly flawed character who needs constant validation and can’t trust her own feelings. She’s the most annoying and most interesting part of this. – Sean Gaffney

I Don’t Know How to Give Birth! | By Ayami Kazama| Yen Press – This is an excellent combination of biography, information, and comedy, as the author and her husband take us through the steps they took in order for her to have a child—more steps than you’d expect, as they eventually need in-vitro fertilization—and how she felt as she went through the process, ranging from “why am I doing this? My husband is the one who really wanted kids” to “I am getting in touch with my inner animal!” Scattered throughout are facts about preparing for nursing your child, Japan apparently not teaching expectant mothers how to push, and the lack of meds in their non-Tokyo hospital. All this is done in a fun way, with the author’s self-portrait having an arrow in her head. – Sean Gaffney

An Incurable Case of Love, Vol. 4 | By Maki Enjoji | Viz Media – Should you sacrifice your dream for love? Well, not if you’re in a romance manga, but it’s a question that’s thought about long and hard in this volume, as Nanase discovers that Dr. Tendo is getting an offer to study abroad so he can research a condition that killed someone he knew in his past. He is seemingly fine with abandoning it and staying with Nanase, but another patient with the same condition shows that he’s not as cool and collected as you’d expect. As with previous volumes, this strikes a good equal balance between the medicine and the romance, and there is also some lightness of tone, such as Nanase mistaking her lovesickness for a heart condition after the two spend the night together. – Sean Gaffney

A Man and His Cat, Vol. 2 | By Umi Sakurai | Square Enix – The more we see of Kanda’s late wife, the more we see how much her death has devastated him, and we are grateful for Fukumaru for being there. That said, Fukumaru is a big, awkward, untrained cat, so this inevitably leads to events like the cat breaking precious pictures and the like. The cat is also somewhat jealous of anything that gets in between him and his master. So it’s a nice mix of cute ‘the cat is destroying the house and acting like a cat’ antics and ‘the cat is basically the one thing keeping his owner away from despair.’ Kanda’s utter adoration of Fukumaru’s cuteness (made funnier by the fact that, to most everyone else, Fukumaru’s pretty goofy-looking) may be the best part of this. – Sean Gaffney

My Dress-Up Darling, Vol. 1 | By Shinichi Fukuda | Square Enix – Wakana has an unusual hobby—he admires and creates traditional Japanese dolls. In part because of this, he’s become a loner, but that changes after his popular high school classmate Marin discovers his talent with a sewing machine and convinces him to help her make a (sexy) cosplay outfit. Marin is passionate but not a skilled seamstress, so she hopes Wakana’s experience making doll clothing will be of some use. My Dress-Up Darling is rated “mature.” The first volume does include some risqué images and topics of conversation; however, it’s not overly explicit. Later volumes might become more so, but right now the story itself is surprisingly wholesome and the characters endearing. I’m really looking forward to reading more of the series and seeing Wakana and Marin’s relationship develop. But perhaps even more, I’m hoping to see Wakana follow Marin’s example and become more confident in himself and his interests. – Ash Brown

My Hero Academia SMASH!!, Vol. 5 | By Hirofumi Neda| Viz Media – The last volume of this series really does not stray from its mandate of ‘gags.’ We see 1-A and 1-B team up for a rescue exercise, the highlight of which is seeing that even the SMASH!! author thinks that Itsuka is a better Momo than Momo is. There’s some of Deku being such a hero fanboy that it’s hilariously creepy, and everyone participating in comedy training. (I was not prepared for Uraraka’s fantastic Aizawa impression.) There’s tanabata festivals, held back by a personality change in Bakugou (this actually comes up TWICE). And we end with a “years in the future” that isn’t really, with only Deku left to be the straight man. I’m happy this is ending now, but it was also a good deal of fun while it lasted. – Sean Gaffney

Snow White with the Red Hair, Vol. 8 | By Sorata Akiduki | Viz Media – As expected, ‘making the relationship public’ gets put on the back burner, mostly as reality is far too complicated for things like that to go smoothly. Instead we spend much of this volume transitioning into a new arc, featuring Shirayuki and Ryu going up north to snow country to study as herbalists there… with the added addition of Izana, who is traveling there incognito to annoy his brother and to study Shirayuki further. In between these things we get a story looking deeper into Obi, who I sometimes get the feeling the author would be more happy making the lead character. It adds up to a good solid volume of the series, though I suspect the next volume will set a better pace. – Sean Gaffney

Teasing Master Takagi-san, Vol. 9 | By Soichiro Yamamoto | Yen Press – The rule of thumb in this series is that Takagi is more readily able to admit her own feelings to herself than Nishitaka is to himself. His embarrassment and wariness of any action that he’s goaded to by Takagi leading to a “ha ha, so you like me!” moment drives whatever he does, and the moment he gets over this the series ends. (Mostly—the unlicensed next-gen series shows he never quite gets over it.) Takagi CAN occasionally be embarrassed—my favorite chapter in this volume, where they’re sending texts to each other, ends with her blushing—but for the most part is content to tease him every day and patiently lead him to a point where they can be a couple. It’s not happening anytime soon. – Sean Gaffney

To Be Next to You, Vol. 8 | By Atsuko Namba | Kodansha Comics (digital only) – On paper, To Be Next to You looks like standard shoujo fare. Nina Uemura is in love with her next-door neighbor, Kyosuke Tachibana, and to try to forget him, she started going out with a classmate. But when Kyosuke collapses with a fever on Christmas Eve, she bails on her boyfriend (Miyake-kun) to take care of him. Miyake-kun realizes that whatever happiness they can achieve together will always be vulnerable to being swept aside in an instant, and breaks off their relationship. What I love is how skillfully Namba-sensei has shown Nina’s maturation process throughout this series—she’s definitely not the same oblivious girl we encountered in volume one—and that we get little moments like Miyake-kun telling his friends what happened and them crying on his behalf. Between this and That Blue Summer, I have become a true Namba fan. I hope we get more from her soon! – Michelle Smith

By: Ash Brown

#Anime #News #Manga Bookshelf

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