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oakmd · 7 years

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professor oak’s rp plotting cheat-sheet!

Want new-and-exciting plots for your character? Long to reach out to more of your followers, but don’t know where to start? Fear not! Fill out this form and give your RP partners both present and future all the of juicy jumping off points they need to help you get your characters acquainted.

Be sure to tag the players whose characters YOU want more cues to interact with, and repost, don’t reblog! Feel free to add or remove sections as you see fit. Template here.

Mod name: :v OOC Contact: Tumblr IM; but if we’re mutuals I’ll give you my discord! I have Skype too, but I don’t really use it much.

WHO IS HE:

Professor Oak is a renowned Pokémon Professor most notably known for his invention of the Pokédex, his Welcome To The World of Pokémon! lecture / documentary and his extensive research surrounding the relationships between pokémon and people. He’s a very recognizable icon in the pokéworld; it would be impossible not to know who he is.

Alternatively, while he’s mostly known for being a scientist, he has wide recognition for his Pokémon poetry. He also does regular recordings with DJ Mary at Goldenrod Radio Tower.

The Professor resides in Pallet Town, Kanto, in one of the world’s most impressive laboratory reserve - stretching across acres upon acres of land, built entirely to replicate all types of pokémon’s natural habitats and terrains.

As a former pokémon trainer ( as well as Kanto Champion ), he has one grandson, Gary Oak, who is also former pokémon trainer, but is now currently on the path to becoming a Scientist himself, specializing in fossil revival.

Points of interest:

My portrayal of Professor Oak is mostly anime-based. This means I do not consider game function as canon or as character trait (ex. Professor Oak forgetting his grandson’s name. I have heard this joke enough to last me a lifetime, please Don’t™.) However, I include some elements of the manga/game, I guess, but usually only to fill in the many gaps untouched in the anime. With that being said, Green / Blue / Red and even Daisy do not exist. I have exceptions of interactions with some people, but it does not fall under my Main Canon and is more of some weird, blended AU, lol.

Professor Oak is a 50+ year old man. On top of that, a parent and a grandparent. Because of this, most of the time ( not always ) he will naturally be more intuitive and perceptive to situations than a younger muse might be. He has had many, many life experiences to draw from that he applies to current context; empathizing and offering advice comes easy. With that being said, please communicate with me if I’ve crossed a line with this; I won’t take offense!

Professor Oak has interacted with legendary Pokémon. See: Celebi, ft. Suicune. Professor Oak is not immune to... strange occurrences. He’s interacted with the legendary pokémon Celebi ( and Suicune ) when he was a young boy. However, I portray this muse as someone that has seen much more ( of the unexplainable, not necessarily legendaries ), yet appreciates them within the comfort of his own privacy.

Professor Oak has very high public status! While the man certainly lives his life as a regular person, his life is anything but. Hailing from Kanto and living peacefully in Pallet Town, Samuel’s demeanor is very humble, but his Net Worth is one of the highest, given his important influence, multi-faceted popularity and on-going relevancy among the citizens of the poké-universe. It goes without saying that he has made some of the most important contributions to the field of science and world of pokémon, but he is also sort of a pop culture “idol”. His name is attached to hundreds of awards, recognitions, lifetime achievements, entertainment achievements. Whatever there is to do, Professor Oak does it all: Scientist, Writer, Artist, Humanitarian, Pokémon Professor, TV Host, Radio Host, University Lecturer, Motivational Speaker, Activist, League Advisor, Parent. There is nothing he won’t dive into if it’s for the greater good. List of Awards: here.

What they’ve been up to recently:

*POST-CANON. Same ol’, same ol’. Professor Oak has many years left in him yet! You can still find him on his happy little hill in Pallet Town doing what he does best: giving trainers their starters, and babysitting those same 9482536 kids under his care. Including, but not limited to all the 3948357927682294 pokémon he and - everyone’s favorite personal assistant son - Tracey Sketchit share responsibility for. His life will pretty much be the same, as it has been; the perks of being old and well-adjusted. *I use ‘post canon’ loosely. My default timeline is ongoing with the show itself, but since time never seems to progress, I’ve taken it upon myself to lazily assume some years have passed since S1E1 ( hence why I say Oak is 50+ rather than actually 50 ).

MULTI-VERSE. If you are a non-pokémon muse, Professor Oak will happily accept that you’re simply not someone from his universe. As mentioned above, stranger things have happened to him. Because of his own experiences, he’s very open-minded about the possibilities the universe has up it’s sleeve. I like to think of his corral and his lab are portal spots for the unknown to materialize. Maybe a point deep in the mountain and forest terrain. Or perhaps from the forest ( between Kanto and Johto ) where Celebi dwells. This concept isn’t necessary to follow for the multi-verse, just a suggestion! TL;DR Let Professor Oak be your away-from-home grandpa, he has lots of Experience™.

Where to find them:

DEFAULT VERSE. There are a lot of places to find the ever-active Professor Oak. However, the top three most common places are: his research lab ( corral included ) in Pallet Town, Kanto, Goldenrod Radio Tower, and Celadon University. Because he is so famous, he can be anywhere, though. Whether it’s doing charity work, raising awareness, doing lectures, being a guest at internships, working with media across regions, visiting other pokémon professors, being on a much needed vacation, traveling for work. Pretty much, wherever your muse is, I can find a reason for Professor Oak to be there.

POST-COLLEGE. I don’t actually have a ‘verse’ for this but it takes place shortly after Samuel finishes grad school and takes position as Kanto’s Pokémon Professor. He’s the first one to reside in Pallet Town. The lab itself is still under renovation; he’s moved back home after being away for years at school, and still trying to mourn the loss of his fiancé. He’s a single father, struggling to balance work and parenthood, but he gets by. ( Further down this timeline, about thirteen years later, he suffers the loss of his children, and becomes the guardian of his grandson, Gary Oak. )

To find Professor Oak is the other ‘verses’ from the Offered / Desired sections, just ask.

Current plans:

Keeping busy. Professor Oak is a very goal-oriented person and although he finds relaxation necessary, he also prefers to be active. His hands are always full running the biggest pokémon lab, but he’s always throwing himself into new projects of all kinds of varieties.

Travel and meet new people. Ever the social butterfly, the Professor is always welcoming new faces to his growing list of companions. Although his reasons for traveling are no longer for becoming a Pokémon Champion, he finds that there are plenty of things he hadn’t quite noticed or appreciated before. It’s interesting to see how some things have changed, and for others, how they’ve stayed the same. It’s all for business purposes of course ( mostly ), but coming full circle provides closure for memories he’d only reminisced about for years after he graduated from college.

Supporting Gary. As his grandson begins his journey in the field of science, Professor Oak prioritizes helping him adjust and giving him the support he needs.

Otherwise, the plans depend on what your muse brings. :O

Desired interactions:

Retired Oak! Literally everything is the same except he’s wearing tropical shirts and jorts. B^) Alola cruise, anyone?

Alzheimer’s Oak! LISTEN, I KNOW.. ... .. Game-mechanic jokes aside, lmao - I have no real excuse. It just hurts so good. ;^(

Grandpa Oak. I’m sure raising Gary and Ash was nothing but and Experience™.

TRACEY. MY PURE ASSISTANT SON -

College. What goes on in college, stays in college. College timeline: here.

Celebi, Again! Starring... Professor Oak! B^) Swapped into the body of his younger self. How does he fix this? Calamity ensues.

Dr. Fuji, Who? No, Professor Oak isn’t part of Team Rocket but he did get roped into helping them create MewTwo with the desperate attempt to also bring his family back to life. Did I rip that from Dr. Fuji? Yes I did, and I don’t care, let me live -

Team Rocket? Or, alternatively, he does work for Team Rocket with this ridiculous concept that he was blackmailed into working for them post-grad because of his unremarkable intelligence and promise. While his public face is the friendly Professor Oak everyone knows and loves, his lab holds darker secrets, the darkest being that he could no loner resist their persistence in making him comply, after they staged his children’s death as an innocent car accident. : ) ... Anyway,

Persistent Press. Be annoying and invasive. Start scandals. ¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Unrequited. Get rejected by the notorious man himself. He will be gentle.

Agatha. How dare you,

CROSSOVERS!!!

Offered interactions:

Are you a Pokémon Trainer™ or some other kind of pokémon-specializing person ( pokémon watcher, photographer, breeder, ranger, etc. )? Ring up your Professor when Officer Jenny arrests you for something he told you not to do in the first place so he can judge you with a proper scolding. For the others, show him your talents and skills! If you’re not a Kanto Trainer, I’m sure one of the other Professors can send you his way, either to drop something off / pick something up / for general help, etc. and he’s always excited to meet his colleagues’ kiddos. Also excited to see others contribute to the world of pokémon in some way! He loves pokémon and humans interacting!

Are you a Pokémon Professor? Doctor, Nurse? Let’s gather ‘round and be stressed about Ash our reckless trainers. But also drinking and karaoke! Pokémon Discourse™. Camping retreats. Boring, obligatory conferences. Peer Review. Or maybe you just need a little advice from one of the pokéworlds more experienced Professors! Unless you’re Professor Rowan - in that case you’re BFFs that get into shenanigans nobody would ever believe.

Are you a Science Major? Limited internships available for college students.

Do you live in Pallet Town? Hi, neighbor! B^) Professor Oak ( and Tracey ) most likely talk to you in passing, should it occur. ( Please message me about pre-established relationships first. ) Common places include, the mart, post office, movie theaters, etc.

Summer Camp? Boom, Professor Oak has summer camp for the kiddos at his corral.

Are you a big idolizer of Professor Oak? Lucky for you, there’s more than one way to be a fan! You can reach him via fanmail, @’ing him on social media, finding his personal phone number from some sketchy fan forum, hogging up the radio show hotline, stalking his schedule to make each appearance panel, hovering outside around his lab, stealing candid photos, bombarding him in public with intrusive questions, shoving your notepad out for an autograph... You can even be one of those weird people who try to proclaim your love to ‘celebrities’ too old for you that you know little about. Who knows what this poor man will do?

Are you into Traditional Kanto / Johto? You may share the same passions if you’re into calligraphy, ikebana, haiku, tea ceremonies, etc.

Are you a Celadon University Student? Feel free to talk to your Intro To Pokémon ( or Pokémon Sociology 101, etc. ) Professor about anything unclear about assignments, to offer questions or concerns... or try to make excuses for not turning in homework and being late, you lazy student. :T Doubles as an Unofficial Guidance Counselor to said students even though that’s not his job - but he can’t help it, he’s a parent before he’s a Professor.

Are you a child associated with Make-A-Wish Foundation? Professor Oak offers terminally-ill children the opportunity to choose their starters, and spend time with their favorite idol. : (

Are you affiliated with the media? All press can inquire about guest speakings, giveaways, promotions, advertisement deals, interviews, volunteer work, hosting/co-hosting, etc. and Professor Oak will get back to you at his earliest convenience. This INCLUDES those working at Goldenrod Radio Tower!

Are you a business person? Politician? High-Profile Celebrity / Figure? Meet Professor Oak at a Gala! Or any other formal event. Feel free to offer business negotiations, inquire about his residence, or other sketchy things. :v

Are you affiliated with Kanto’s Pokémon League? Albeit not as recently involved as per usual, he’s an advisor, so he and your muse are at least associates, if not more.

Are you one of the developers that helped with the Pokédex? Nerds will be nerds.

Do you know Samuel from his days prior to being Professor Oak? Whether it be from childhood, training days, or college, they all matter. ( I’m aware this is highly unlikely because nobody RP’s old pokémon muses, but with that being said, I’m open to interacting with kids / grandkids of the aforementioned. )

Are you Team Rocket a villain? Have you reached your Kidnap-A-Scientist quota today?

Current open post/s:

I had very few, but I’m too lazy to look for them. Plotting is probably better. /gestures to this post

Anything else?:

Threading is not limited to this list. I’m always open to more ideas!

I’m not sure what the huge difference is between the Desired / Offered interactions -

You don’t need a pokémon verse to interact with me!

Your muse does not need to idolize Professor Oak to interact with him.

CROSSOVERS.

Tagged by: i stole this from @undinaes

Tagging: Whoever sees this!

#this is way longer than i thought it could possibly be #please read it theres something for everyone i swear!!!#do your research ▸ [ PSA. ]#through the years ▸ [ hc. ]

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yeskraim · 4 years

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‘My culture on my face’: New Zealand’s Maori assert identity

South Island, New Zealand – Gary Harding’s body is a living testimony to his Indigenous New Zealand heritage.

Ta moko, a cultural tattoo artwork, adorns Harding’s face and body, a visualisation of his Maori “whakapapa” or genealogy, his role in the community and his life’s journey.

“I enjoy when someone asks questions, then I have the opportunity to share and educate them, rather than just staring and making assumptions,” he told Al Jazeera.

For generations, ta moko was outlawed and later adopted by Maori gangs, which led to widespread discrimination and stigma that made finding work and social acceptance difficult.

But its image is slowly changing as a new generation embraces ta moko and more and more companies, including service industries, government sectors and even political parties, abandon their exclusion policies.

New Zealand’s Indigenous Maori were renowned as skilled hunters, warriors and artists. They were also famous for traditional performances, including the fearsome Haka, a ceremonial dance.

Before colonisation brought western materials, tribal designs were carved into the skin with a chisel-shaped instrument made of bone, the incisions coloured with ash or other natural substances.

Different tribes had their distinctive artistic styles to adorn various parts of the body including the back, chest and limbs. The most sacred were reserved for the face.

While men often wore full-face designs, women wore tattoos known as “kauae” on their lips and chin.

Cultural suppression

New Zealand was colonised in 1840 and a suppression act in 1907 outlawed the teaching and practice of Maori culture.

For generations, ta moko was scarce.

“My grandparents would get caned for speaking the language at school,” Harding said, adding that ta moko became something that was only seen among tribal elders or in old photographs.

Gary Harding, whose mother was Maori, said his ta moko tells the story of his ancestors and his role as family spokesman and teacher of Maori youth. [David Mullins/Al Jazeera]

Harding teaches Maori culture to juveniles in detention.

By the 1970s, Maori language and arts began experiencing a resurgence but many Maori gangs adopted the ta moko as part of their insignia.

Many young people join criminal groups because they feel disconnected from their Indigenous heritage and are searching for something to make that connection, but end up in the wrong place, he said.

With young offenders, he strives to instil pride in their ancestry and a sense of self.

“There’s a clear difference between a gang tattoo – that might be designed to be intimidating – and cultural markings,” Harding told Al Jazeera.

He also coaches a youth rugby team.

A few months ago, when he arrived for a meeting with fellow coaches in the Australian city of Melbourne, Harding said he was refused entry at a restaurant amid snide comments.

Non-Maori often do not understand the tattoos’ importance.

“People like myself have to go through these scenarios so society can become more aware,” he said, adding that his attempts to explain the cultural significance of his facial tattoos were met by more “ignorant” remarks from the restaurant worker.

“People can walk around in a burka or their cultural dress,” he said. “What’s the difference between me walking into a place and wearing my culture on my face?”

Asserting identity

Harding was one of the first people in public service to wear facial tattoos.

After the colonisation of New Zealand began in 1840, western tattoo methods were introduced to create ta moko. [Tracey Shelton/Al Jazeera]

After his mother died in 2016, he went to his employer – the New Zealand government’s child protection service – and told them that on the following Monday he would be arriving with a full facial design.

“I sat down with my boss and explained the importance to me, my mother and my family,” he said. “I didn’t ask: I told them this is what’s happening and they accepted it. It was a big step.”

In September, Air New Zealand changed its policies to allow all staff including cabin crew, to display the ta moko.

“It reinforces our position at the forefront of the airline industry in embracing diversity and enabling employees to express individuality or cultural heritage,” said the airline’s former Chief Executive Officer Christopher Luxon in a statement.

It’s our birthright – our identity. I’m not gonna let anybody tell me how to be Maori.

Lisa Isherwood

Rawiri Barriball changed the face of the country’s military in 2017 when he was granted permission to become the first naval officer to receive his facial markings.

Women have also blazed a trail towards renewed acceptance of the kauae.

Last year, Nanaia Mahuta became the first female MP to sit in parliament with a chin tattoo and Oriini Kaipara became the first female television news anchor to read the news with a kauae last month.

Harding’s mother, a well-respected school teacher, wore her kauae proudly, long before it was common or widely accepted.

“On her deathbed, she asked me to receive mine – passing the mantle of bearing the family’s history,” he said.

“It was quite special for me to be able to receive mine from the same artist in the same living room that she received hers and the same place where she passed away. It was very spiritual.”

Lisa Isherwood says her ta moko shows she is the first-born, a worker of the land and trained in Maori weaponry [Tracey Shelton/Al Jazeera]

Lisa Isherwood, who runs a sustainable farming project in Turangi a town on the North Island, was one of the first in her family to receive a ta moko and her children have followed in her path.

“It’s our birthright – our identity,” she said, adding she faced much opposition even from within her family.

“I’m not gonna let anybody tell me how to be Maori.”

She explained the meaning of each design.

“This shows I am the first-born and a worker of the land,” she said. Another symbol resembling a hammerhead shark signifies her training in Maori weaponry.

She now plans to receive a skin carving as her ancestors once did.

Spiritual connection

Clyde Peri has been a ta moko artist since 1996.

He first learned Maori wood carving and was later accepted for training in ta moko techniques.

“Every piece starts with a prayer to connect with the ancestors and ask for their blessing and guidance – the designs come from them,” he told Al Jazeera.

This is followed by a conversation about the person’s life story, achievements, bloodline and what has inspired them to receive the ta moko.

“I’m like a medium – they are already wearing their story,” he said as he worked on a piece at the Tatt Datt studio in Melbourne. “I just need to make it visible. It’s a spiritual connection.”

Ta moko is always drawn freehand, and Peri said he does this while speaking to the person so he can draw from their emotion and energy.

Peri’s ancestors were also ta moko artists. On the wall is a picture of one of his forefathers who used the ancient skin carving technique rather than needles. Deep grooves form a tribal pattern on the man’s face.

Peri, who has lived in Melbourne for 21 years said most of his customers are from the city’s large Maori community.

But some non-Maori also request Peri’s designs – a practice that has been met with controversy over the years.

“The meaning is the same to me,” Peri said. “I use the chance to educate them about what it means.”

British singer Robbie Williams was one of the first to receive a Maori tattoo design from a tribal elder who supported his request.

Peri uses the same process, asking the client about the loved ones they want to represent and their own life journey.

But facial ta moko remain the most sacred and are usually received later in life.

Makere Kupenga, 30, wears a large ta moko representing her mother and sisters on her back. She also has smaller designs behind her ears, but no kauae on her chin and lips.

“It is a heavy weight to carry my family’s full whakapapa history,” she said. “But I will receive the kauae when I feel I am ready and worthy.”

The post ‘My culture on my face’: New Zealand’s Maori assert identity appeared first on Gadgets To Make Life Easier.

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newstfionline · 7 years

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How to Work with a Bad Listener

Rebecca Knight, HBR, August 24, 2017

It’s a challenge to work with people--peers, junior colleagues, or even bosses--who just don’t listen. Whether your colleagues interrupt you, ramble on, seem distracted, or are always waiting for their turn to talk, the impact is the same: You don’t feel heard, and the chances for misunderstandings--and mistakes--rise. Are there tactics you can use to encourage your colleagues to listen better? Should you talk to them about their poor listening skills? What’s the best way to deliver the message?

“Dealing with colleagues who don’t listen is both hard and frustrating,” says Sabina Nawaz, a global CEO and executive coach. “When someone is not fully present, it erodes the quality of what you say.” The experience might, for instance, “cause you to lose your train of thought” or “suppress what you originally planned to communicate.” It’s also possible that “you could get derailed into the drama of why it’s happening,” she adds. “You might take it personally and think, ‘My colleague is so arrogant.’” Potential problems aren’t limited to “misunderstandings and hard feelings,” according to Christine Riordan, the president of Adelphi University and a leadership coach. A colleague who doesn’t listen can also “have very negative consequences from an operational standpoint--there are often a lot of mistakes because projects don’t get executed correctly.” So it’s imperative to address the issue. Here are some strategies for working with colleagues who never seem to be listening.

Consider work styles: While some of your colleagues may be flaky space cadets who are unable to pay attention, it’s also possible that they may be more visual people who have difficulty processing oral instructions. “Some people are visual and some are verbal,” Riordan says. She advises “asking your colleague how they prefer to receive information. Say: ‘Should we have a conversation, or would you like to see something in writing?’” Try to be a “flexible” and understanding conversation partner, Nawaz adds. “You need to use your colleague’s time efficiently.”

Reflect on your own behavior: Putting up with a colleague who’s a bad listener often causes you to “look in the mirror” and “question whether you’re a good listener yourself,” Riordan says. “Bad role models are as instructive as good ones,” she adds. As part of this soul-searching, it’s wise to reflect on how you approach professional conversations and what you could do to improve, Nawaz says. “Maybe you’re a rambling speaker. Maybe you overwhelm your listener with numbers. Maybe you need to tell more stories,” she says. Take the time to “get some data on your own communication style” so that you can model the behavior you want to see.

Demonstrate empathetic listening: One way to encourage your colleagues to listen better is by practicing “empathetic listening,” Riordan says. Really try to understand the other person’s point of view. Nawaz recommends taking notes while your colleague is speaking--simple “one- or two-word reminders” will suffice. “Then, when there’s a natural pause in the conversation, validate your colleague’s main points while at the same time integrating your thoughts into the conversation.” The goal, Nawaz says, is to “think about your audience” and “what’s in it for them.”

Highlight the magnitude of your message: Emphasizing the importance of your message up front can help as well. Before even starting a conversation, Riordan suggests saying something along the lines of: “I have something really important to talk to you about, and I need your help.” This sends a signal to your colleagues that they ought to relinquish the stage and prick up their ears. “It should strengthen their awareness to listen more carefully,” she says. Riordan also recommends making your point “multiple times and in multiple ways.” Be open and unequivocal about what you’re doing. “Say, ‘I want to repeat this, because I want to make sure it’s understood.’” Then you should follow up with: “Does that make sense?” That way you can “make sure what you said has been captured.”

Create accountability: It’s also important to hold your colleague “accountable” for listening, Nawaz says. When talking to a distracted boss, for example, she suggests letting your manager “know that she’s on the hook for something” and that there is a “deliverable” that’s needed by the conversation’s end. You might, for instance, say: “I have three possible strategies that I want to tell you about. In the end, I’m looking for you to make a decision on one of them.’” Be explicit about your priorities, Riordan says. If you’re dealing with a coworker who has a tendency to forget certain conversations, “you should set timelines to anchor” your expectations “in your colleague’s mind,” she says. “Say: ‘That [task] is critical for this project. Do you have a date when it will be finished?’”

Show concern: Calling out the bad behavior of a colleague is generally fraught. But it can be done if you come at it from a “point of empathy” and compassion, Nawaz says. “You might say something like: ‘You seem to have a lot on your plate that’s requiring your attention. Is there anything I can do to lighten your load, so when we’re talking you can be fully present?’” Your offer has to be genuine, of course, or it may sound like a passive-aggressive jab. And be tolerant of office distractions. If your colleague’s phone keeps buzzing or dinging, and you notice their eyes moving in that direction, stop talking and say: “Do you need to check that?” Maybe the answer will be, “No, I will turn it off.” Or maybe it will be, “Yes, I am expecting an important call. Can we talk later?”

Address the problem directly: If the culprit is a close colleague or a boss with whom you have an otherwise strong rapport, consider addressing the issue directly by telling them that they’re not hearing what people have to say. Be sure to “cite an example where your colleague didn’t listen and it had negative consequences for the team,” Riordan says. But tread carefully. “You really need to have a positive relationship with the person in order for this to be effective,” she adds. Otherwise, the person could just end up getting defensive.

Propose a social contract: Another option if the problem persists is to propose instituting a “social contract” that puts parameters on “how your team members interact with each other,” Riordan adds. By raising it to the team level, you aren’t singling out any one person but making an agreement as a group. The contract--which ought to be “updated regularly”--would stipulate that colleagues “not dominate the conversation” and give “everybody a chance to share an opinion.” These contracts work best in workplaces that have a relatively strong, supportive culture to begin with. If upper management isn’t on board, it’s going to fall apart. “I’ve seen dysfunctional teams where this would not work at all,” Riordan says. If your team falls into this category, avoid this shared option and instead focus on how you can improve your own individual interactions.

Case Study #1: Underscore the importance of your message and follow up in writing

Jim Jacobs, president of Focus Insite, the market research firm based in West Chester, Pennsylvania, once worked with a colleague--we’ll call him Gary--who was not a good listener.

“Gary liked to hear himself talk,” Jim recalls. “He also suffered from selective amnesia--we’d have a good meeting, develop a plan, and then he would ‘forget’ what we talked about.”

A few years ago Focus Insite embarked on a big market-research study where it needed to recruit doctors, patients, and caregivers from all over the country who had knowledge of a specific medical condition. It was an important and lucrative opportunity; Jim could not afford any miscommunication.

“One slip-up in communication can cost our firm tens of thousands of dollars--or even millions if you consider the lifetime value of a client,” he says.

Jim needed to convey to Gary how much was riding on the study. “I said: ‘We have a goal of recruiting a certain number of participants by a certain date. This is really important, and we have to hit this. If we don’t, there are consequences: Not only are we not going get our bonuses, but we could lose the client.”

Jim then followed up with Gary through email to make sure his message got across. He laid out the project’s timeline and deliverables. This is standard practice at Focus Insite. “After every meeting, whoever held it sends out a summary of what we discussed over email. We use Slack because that way, you see the whole thread.”

Finally, to make sure that Gary understood what needed to be done, Jim had a “frank conversation” about the importance of strong communication. His relationship with Gary was generally good, but still, he was wary of making him defensive. “I said, ‘Let me tell you about a former employee, Phil, who wasn’t paying attention and once caused us to miss our deadline. We couldn’t bill, and we lost the client. We learned the hard way. I’m trying to avoid a situation like that, which is why I need your help.’”

Couching it this way helped Gary feel that Jim cared about his success and the success of the company. “I wanted to show him I was looking out for him.”

The project went well, and Gary has “absolutely gotten better” at listening.

Case Study #2: Show compassion and understand what motivates your colleague

Earlier in Ash Norton’s career, she worked with a colleague--whom we’ll call Nancy--who had difficulty paying attention.

It wasn’t clear if Nancy didn’t listen--or didn’t want to hear what people said. “It wasn’t so much that Nancy forgot things; more that they just were not a priority to her or that she didn’t focus on them,” says Ash, who at the time was a laboratory supervisor at a large company. “She just really thought her way was the best, easiest, or quickest.”

After Nancy’s failure to listen caused her to make a crucial error--”She made a mistake while logging a compliance measurement”--Ash knew something needed to be done. “It was a fairly simple error,” she recalls, “but it could have had significant financial and regulatory repercussions for the company.”

Before she sat down with Nancy, Ash spent time preparing what she planned to say. She reflected on what motivated Nancy and how she could encourage her to pay better attention. “I realized that a priority for Nancy was pride and recognition for her work, so by doing her own thing, she felt like she was making an impact,” Ash says.

This revelation helped Ash effectively set up the conversation. “I framed the discussion so that Nancy understood that [we] recognized and appreciated her contributions--but they just couldn’t be done in isolation,” Ash says.

Together Nancy and Ash developed an action plan (including dates and deliverables) to help Nancy follow through on expectations. Over time, Nancy improved.

Today Ash provides leadership development for engineers. She has helped many managers encourage their colleagues learn to listen better. Her first piece of advice to them is: Listen first. “It is easy to assume that the other person isn’t hearing you,” she says. “But maybe they are and are just interpreting [what you said] differently. Or they have a different perspective. So make sure that you really have an open mind and are listening to the other person.”

#workplace #poor listeners #working with poor listeners #listening

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pressingmyway · 7 years

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The Plan: Attending the 2017 National Genealogy Society Conference for #NGS2017.

Starting Point: Edgewood, Maryland… Destination: Raleigh, North Carolina….

So I had originally planned on starting my drive at 4am. That as you probably could have guessed did not happen, I was so excited about the trip that I just couldn’t get to sleep. Sleep was a necessity for this road trip so after I rested a bit, I hit the road running around 7AM for a 5 1/2 hour drive to the Raleigh Marriott and Convention Center. My first two hours of travel flew by quickly. I spent it engrossed in a genealogy conversation with my genealogy sister and conference buddy Karice Luck.

Before I knew it I had crossed state lines and was entering my 2nd home ~ Virginia ~

Traffic was a little hectic at times, but that was made much easier by my 15 year old son who instead on keeping me in good spirits by providing me with constant entertainment along my journey…

I passed by several familiar landmarks…

The “Quntico Building” affectionately referred to by my family as “The SPACESHIP”

(Here’s a different angle… my car camera skills are really taking shape).

Kings Dominion

MY most familiar and favorite landmark “TO ME” however was this exit sign…

The exit to Williamsburg caused me a bit of stress because I wanted more than anything to take it so that I could go and visit my in-laws and childhood neighborhoods. It felt wrong to drive past it but I couldn’t detour, I had a mission to get to North Carolina!

After driving along for what felt like FOREVER, I eventually made it to the North Carolina state line… what a relief…

I normally don’t stop when I’m traveling alone for safety reasons, but on this trip I was “DRIVEN” (a little road trip humor) to pull into the North Carolina welcome center; and I’m so glad that I did!

The inside of the building was beautiful (I didn’t take any pictures because there were a lot of people inside). I signed their digital guest book and spoke with the lovely ladies behind the help desk. They were giving away free maps of North Carolina and I just had to have one; hopefully one day I can use it to aide me in my research…

Outside they had a tribute to the Armed Forces….

They displayed a large art piece. “Saw Dog” on loan from the Vollis Simpson Whirlgig Park & Museum in Wilson, NC.

And a park bench featuring the state of North Carolina…. (I wonder if every state welcome center has one of these? Note to self: stop at more welcome centers)

I couldn’t resist taking a selfie with it! (The first of MANY during my trip)

I entered the city of Raleigh and made my way to what would be my home for the next five days. The Raleigh Marriott City Center… conveniently located across the street from the Raleigh conference center.

Photo Credit: Raleigh Marriott City Center Website

While on the road I called the hotel for an early check in but the front desk wasn’t certain that I would receive one so I decided to leave my bags in the car just in case. I wasn’t aware at the time just how closely the conference center and hotel were connected. So you can imagine my surprise mixed with a little confusion as I walked inside the building from the parking garage straight into the conference center…

I now know, that the conference center and the hotel are connected underground through a series of long escalators and elevators. Since I was already there it made sense to go ahead and hop into the almost non existent line for registration. Because I hyphenate my name when it best suits my needs I couldn’t remember which letter of the alphabet I belonged in but I took a guess for “K” and fortunately for me I was right (“Choates-Kellow” filled under Kellow.) Registration took all of 2 minutes, I hoped in the adjacent line to purchase a syllabus, and then I was on my way up the many escalators to the actual hotel.

I took in the scenery of the lobby, the Starbucks and the RYE restaurant/bar while checking in. Then as I glanced to my left, I came upon a familiar face. So familiar to me in fact that I let out a semi loud yell

“Oh my gosh it’s Judy Russell!”…

I couldn’t control my excitement to see her and this childish uncontrollable blushing and giggling ensued. After my initial shock wore off there was a bit of embarrassment on my part and I apologized for being what I imagined in her mind; a crazed fan bothering her in the lobby. Thankfully I had my conference badge on so I’m sure she realized that I wasn’t crazy. I was just in awe that I was literally watching her talks from RootsTech less than 24 hours before and there she was standing in front of me. We are friend on FaceBbook had never met in person. She was very nice and even allowed me to take a picture with her.

I headed up the room and unpacked, took a look at my conference goodies and make an attempt at scheduling the sessions that I planned on attending the next day. This proved to be pointless because I ended up changing my schedule around so many times.

I only spent a few minutes working on that and then I headed right back out the door to catch an Uber. I was headed to the NC State Archives building…

The building itself was massive in comparison to the archives building that I have back home in Maryland. I had watched almost all of the NCGS videos about the archives before I got there so I had a pretty good idea of what to expect. I decided to go to the library first because there was a specific article that I was looking for. It was a biographical tribute for a great uncle Alex written by the family. I had once been given a packet of information about my family and the article was included but there was no information to go with it. I had no idea where it came from. (The importance of citations lol) I wanted to find the article and see the entire article as well as any other information that I could find. I was assisted by a lovely young lady named Andrea. She helped me to navigate the NC website to find what I was looking for and then I headed over to the microfilm machine to get started looking.

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Time was winding down and closing time was approaching; it felt like I was playing a game of “Beat the Clock”. I hadn’t found what I was looking for but I wasn’t giving up…

“The library will be closing in 20 minutes”

That statement pretty much forced me to put things into overdrive and I started to scroll a little faster on the microfilm machine. That’s when I found it, the article that I came for. In the copy that I already had, the article appeared to be in the middle of the newspaper page, it wasn’t. It was actually on the right hand corner… The article was faded (as expected) but I just wanted to see it for myself (AND CITE IT).

A successful day of research if I do say so myself. My search led me to finding not only the article that I was searching for originally, but ANOTHER article about my great uncle Alex that had been in an issue of the same paper two weeks prior. (Closer to his death date) This small article could have easily gone un-noticed but I feel like I was led right to it. It gave me more detailed information regarding his passing.

“AGED COLORED MAN DIES AT CRUMPLER”

Last rites for Alexander Edwards, 94-year old Ashe county colored resident who succumbed at him home at Crumpler Friday night after a long illness, will be held at 2 o’clock this afternoon at Cox’s church. Interment will follow in the Coxe cemetery.

He is survived by four daughter, Jesse Bower, of Oxford, Pa,; Bessie Callahan, of Johnson City, Tenn; Velim McMillan, of Wilmington; Deal; Beulah Edwards, of Crumpler; one son Everett Edwards, of Gary, W. Va.; two brothers, Wiley and Isom Edwards, both of Churchville, Md.; and one grandson, Glenn Poe.

Up to that point I didn’t know the exact relationship between “Uncle Alex” and myself. Thanks to this second article that I found, I can confirm that relationship and put a title to it. He is my 4x Great Uncle! His brother, Wiley Edwards is my 2x great grandfather. (Insert Happy Dance HERE)

I looked at a few books and copied a few pages to take a look at later but the library was closing and I had to go. I had planned to meet up with a cousin of mine for dinner but I couldn’t catch up to them, so I figured I’d just wait in the lobby and do a little reading until we could connect.

That’s when I looked up and saw this guy coming off of the elevator…. I had to check my conference app to make sure that it was who I thought it was… (J Paul Hawthorne). We had chatted back and forth through Facebook in anticipation for the conference and we knew that we would more than likely run into each other but I didn’t know it would be so soon.

We chatted for a bit (if you haven’t met him he’s hilarious) and then entered his friends stage right… I was introduced to them and as most genealogists tend to do we all became good fast friends!

(Photo Credit J. Paul Hawthorne)

They invited me to join them for pizza and I would have gone but I was still waiting on my cousin… Soon after they left however, I found out that they weren’t coming today… I wasn’t sure which pizza place they had gone to but it was okay, I’m a free spirit kind of person so I decided that I would find a place to eat and do a little bit of sight seeing…

The city was decorated with signage to welcome the NGS conference attendees to Raleigh, it reminded me of when I attended RootsTech earlier this year. I picked a place to eat and followed my phones gps on what I felt was a never ending extended sightseeing version of colorful directions filled with detours and recalculations. I later found that there was a MUCH easier way to get there… I just had to walk in the opposite direction first.

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I had decided to settle on “Beasley’s Chicken and Honey”, a highly rated restaurant that features a community table in the center and a chalk board menu on the walls of the restaurant. Just so that you know, my social anxiety doesn’t bode well with “community tables” it is literally one of my worst nightmares lol. I decided to sit by myself so that I could read while I waited for my food. I went for the chicken and waffles and Mac and cheese… everyone else had it and looked delicious. Aside from that I was STARVING… I didn’t eat breakfast that morning and I spent my lunch time at the library (well worth it of course). I felt like I could eat a miniature pony, (a horse is really just too much).

The food was absolutely AMAZING!!! I couldn’t finish it all but I really gave it my all… I tried so hard but in this battle of Woman Vs Food… the food won…. I was stuffed….

I was so full in face, that I couldn’t move… but I had to or I would have ended up in a food coma and missed the opening session the next morning.

On my way back I did get a great shot of the colorful downtown area outside of the hotel.

I got back to hotel room and realized that I had packed more books than clothes and decided to use what little time I had before drifting off to sleep to do some research…

I knew my dad was in Raleigh often (he calls it his 2nd home) so it came as no surprise to find that not only was he in the area but that he was coming over to my hotel to visit. We hadn’t seen each other in quite a while (he lives in NC) and it would be nice to catch up… It also gave me a chance to handle a very important genealogical point of business…

Administering his DNA kit of course… I brought one down the road with me with the explicit intent of getting my paternal line pegged down with DNA. During our conversation I found out that I had a living great great uncle. (My paternal grandmothers, fathers, brother) That meant I had to purchase another DNA test at the exhibit hall the next day….

By the time he left there was no time for further research, tv, or even a phone call home… it was after 12 and I had to get up early to start the official day one of #NGS2017GEN.

#NGS2017GEN MY Day One “TRAVELING” The Plan: Attending the 2017 National Genealogy Society Conference for #NGS2017. Starting Point: Edgewood, Maryland... Destination: Raleigh, North Carolina....

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