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#at least helluva boss will still be coming out lmfao
spongek-squidge · 3 months
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SPOILERS FOR EPSIODES 7 & 8 (the newest ones)
I love Rosie and Carmilla so much actually, they’re both so sweet and genuinely wanted to help, just needed the girls to prove they were strong enough to be worth the materials first
Alastors still a bastard but I don’t think he’s under Lilith’s control but then who is it???? Mammon???? The background was green so maybe??????????
Adam deserved to die I’m so glad it was him actually, he died humiliated and that’s the best thing for him
Lucifer fucking with him before his death is also priceless
I also have a new hes canon that Luci and Eve are like besties and he hasn’t slept with her but he said it because he knew she would 100% support that decision, especially given his reaction
Alastors a coward but I love him (in the cool character way)
Nifty getting the final kill is well deserved, it makes up for when she didn’t get yeeted off the balcony
Vaggie has her wings back!!!! Ahhhhhh!!!!!
Lilith holy fuck
I wanna see Lilith and Luci interact to see how close the fandom got to their actual relationship, I mean they seemed in love in those paintings Luci has at least
Pentious deserves being the first to reach redemption actually
Episodes 1 of season 2 is probably going to be Emily doing everyhting in her power to contact Charlie to go “OH MY GOD IT WORKED AHHHHHHHHHHHH”
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badbatch-badfics · 2 months
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Thief (TBB x Male Reader) Part 1
Characters: TBB + Phee, but it's mainly you stealing from them for 90% of it
Relationship: Enemies
POV: 2nd (you/yours)
Pronouns: He/him. The horn pattern (as in thick or thin lines defining your sex) and the hair color are not mentioned, so it's trans-inclusive as far as Imps go lmfao. 
Species: Helluva Boss type Imp- imagined the Imps with digitigrade legs and claws for your legs, and I haven't watched Helluva in a whileeeee.  Like, at least a year or more.  Nothing about Hell is mentioned, so you're just another species, so to speak.  Also, you obviously have red skin.  But I occasionally put in a [shade] so it’s not totally limited and you can still be you (more or less). 
Content: You’re stealing shit??
Warnings: You stealing shit, Wrecker throws you, Hunter threatens you. Cringe lol
Word count: 2,588
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You glanced around the pub, checking on the targets for what felt like the millionth time.  When will they get moving?  Your employer had sent you on a rather vague mission, ordering you to scrounge “anything that seemed of value,” and to “keep an eye out for a band of four adult men and one little girl.”  Unspecified by your employer, there was another member- an adult woman, a pirate, so it would seem.  Apparently, if you could lose the little misfit band and find their ship, it would hold wonders of great value- credit wise.  A war modified Omicron class attack shuttle, with more war supplies inside- enough for four men and a child- would be a complete jackpot.  And, Maker, were you thankful.  Even if you didn’t get the direct riches, the reputation and rank would more than suffice.
Obviously, any jackpot is rather risky, and you were not looking forward to it.  That much was evident by the swaying and twitching of your tail.  But, hey, if you could do it well, there would be an abundance of awards.  But before anyone could make a grab for anything, you needed to make sure they were far away from the ship- which would be far easier if your employers had provided some help.  But, to be fair, since when was anyone's employer ever fair?
Finally, the group got up and left- the young girl happily skipping along, talking about heading to the market to buy an assortment of small trinkets.  Perfect.  You waited a few minutes until they were certainly gone before heading up to the bar, credits in hand.  “So…” you began, “That group- the one with the big guy, droid guy, skull tattoo, googles, the pirate, and a little girl- you know who I mean?”  The Twi’lek bartender nodded his head, lekku slightly bobbing.
“Fantastic, now, for some extra credits, would you be so kind as to point me in their ship’s direction, and perhaps access to the lot…?”  That was certainly the most inconvenient part about the job- the ships’ 'parking’ spaces had fields around them, and you needed the key to get in.  Keys that only the ship’s owner and the bartender had access to.  The Twi’lek raised an eyebrow- unfortunately for you, he seemed to have decent morals.  At least, decent enough to question a rather suspicious looking stranger asking for access to someone else’s ship.  You sighed, and began to explain- “I’m not going to do anything harmful, it’s just a simple grab and retreat- you can watch me through the security cams, or even come with me!  I’m a thief, not a killer, or any other bad things.  Just a thief.  Which is pretty ironic sounding, I know.”  You flashed a smile, trying to appear more honest and trustworthy.  Not that you were lying, anyway.
The Twi’lek scrunched his eyes in contemplation, slowly rubbing one of the dirty glasses.  You were leaning forward, eyes wide, tail swishing in excitement.  Finally, he sighed, before turning to grab the keys to the Marauder.  You quickly slid the credits over, flashing an incredibly toothy grin.  “Remember I am watching you.  If anything happens other than some petty thievery- you won’t be making it out of here in one piece,” he warned, accusingly glaring while pointing the not-at-all threatening cleaning rag at you.
“Trust me, I won’t hurt anyone!  Except for their pockets, I suppose- ha!”  The Twi’lek sighed before explaining the directions to get there, and how to work with the keys.  He shortly returned to his work, as you happily bounded out before remembering to be discreet.  You ducked and swerved, squeezed into tight spaces, hopped over a few fences, and other tasks that were annoying, sure, but not difficult in any way.  Finally, the docking lot came into view, the Marauder in the center, taking up all the glory.  Before stepping into the port, you looked around, pulling down scanner goggles, easily locating all the cameras.  You had said that the bartender could watch you, so scrambling the cameras for the long-run was a no-go.  But, perhaps, you could manage to short them out for only a minute or two, or scramble all of them except the camera over your target.  Keep the promise, and all.
You fished around in your pockets and pouches, seeing what trinkets could be of help.  There must be some sort of protection against scrambling devices, if you could just… “HA!  Yes, this will do,” you whisper-shouted triumphantly, holding up a little stick on device you had crafted yourself, many rotations ago, just in case of a situation like this.  You smiled triumphantly, perhaps feeling too much pride given the circumstances.  You waited for the cameras to drift away before jumping up onto the fence, using your tail to help balance, before jumping up the wall.  Thankfully, whoever designed the lot wanted it to be pretty, considering the intricate carvings swirling here and there.  Unfortunately for the designer, though, anyone with enough claws and skill could use the indents to scale their way up or across the compound- and you had plenty of both.
Carefully, you made your way across until there was a large horizontal pole with a label for the row.  Angling yourself, you quickly leaped and grabbed the pole, swinging before bringing up your legs and balancing on it, one hand wrapped around, the other holding the small device.  Squinting your eyes and focusing, your arm drew back, everything carefully placed.  Then, with a quick motion, you threw the device, which immediately stuck to the camera observing the Marauder.  Grinning, you fished out the scrambling devices, and its remote.  One by one, you tossed the scramblers across the compound, surrounding the perimeter.  As soon as your [shade] red finger touched the button, electricity sparks flew and the cameras slumped down, utterly defeated.  It was almost too easy, which never happened.  There was always some bizarre twist- employers never gave the full story.  You’ll worry about that later.
You wrapped your tail around the pole repeatedly, before lunging down, hands extended to catch your fall.  Quickly bounding back up, you looked around once more before sprinting to the ship.  Looking over your shoulder every five seconds, you inserted the key and twisted it, bringing the field down with a triumphant smile.  You quickly scraped off the plate covering the wires to open the ramp, claws leaving dents.  Well, that’s inconvenient- now they’ll know someone was here- if they’re smart, anyway.  A problem for tomorrow.  Or the next hour, or whenever they show up- especially if the bartender would rat out the plan.  Maybe you shouldn't have compromised with him, promising to let him keep some view on you, ready to give information to the owners of the ship.  Yeah, you would definitely need to get off of this planet soon, especially since your appearance was… unique, to say the least- but it did help that your striped horns were covered, but the long red tail certainly didn't help.
You began hot-wiring the ramp cords, pulling and plugging and making electric connections from one to another, until a satisfying hiss escaped and the ramp began unfolding.  The lights in the ship activated, making the ramp look like some blessed trip to paradise, war equipment and Maker knows what else, all ripe for the taking.  You bounded up the ramp, tail swishing back and forth rapidly in excitement.  Your hand twisted up to grab the large sack from your back, opening it up and getting ready to completely loot the place.
Running back and forth through the ship, you collected bombs, blasters, bits of armor, rations, and what appeared to be someone’s… arms and legs- or, at least, spares.  There was one pair of legs, with a spare foot, and two different arm types- one resembling an actual arm, and the other one seemed to possess a number of tools.  They all looked like they were a work in progress, someone making upgrades to it all, perhaps making  different aspects specific to certain goals or terrain.  You hesitated, arm hovering out.  I mean, it would be pretty cruel to take someone's legs and arms…but the employer would be thrilled…  Sighing, you took the arm with the tools, and left all the other artificial limbs.
You continued forward, picking up a spare set of goggles and a data-pad left on one of the top bunks.  On the other side, one of the bunks held several vibro-knives, which you quickly grabbed.  Those were valuable, and there were no guilty feelings involved- win win.  For you, anyway.  Certainly not the group you were stealing from.  The bag feeling was heavy in your hands, so you figured it was time to bail.  There was enough stuff in here to last you forever- or rather, your employer.  Shame you couldn't just drop out, that the employer would hunt you down and then some.
You tightly sealed the bag, and slung it over your back before walking out to the ramp.  Before stepping out completely, you looked, listened, and smelled for any sign of life, or even some sort of droid under their command.  Nothing was noteworthy, so you put one clawed foot in front of the other as you descended the ramp, quickly un-doing the hot-wiring from before.  It certainly wasn’t a clean job, but you should be able to get out of there before anyone comes back.  Hopefully.
You quickly retraced your steps, until you were far away from the docking lot, and far away from any possibility of the group tracking you.  Again, hopefully.  You carefully made your way to your designated escape escort, being sure to check if anyone suspicious, especially the group you’d just looted, was close behind.  Finally, the view of the transport ship was in sight, the escort waiting, rather impatiently, a scowl on her face as her foot bounced about a ‘hundred miles an hour.  “Sorry I’m late,” you huffed out, lugging the bag into the ship.  “They took forever and then some to leave, and the bartender had better morals than the average- had to plead my innocence- well, my ‘I won’t harm anyone, just their pockets,’ type innocence.”  All she did was grunt back, clearly disinterested.  “Okay, whatever…” you mumbled, sheepishly looking for a place to sit.  Clearly she didn’t care why someone was late, only that they were.  Which was rather annoying, it’s not like them taking forever was your fault.
You quickly settled down into the seat, pulling a latch over yourself as a form of comfort.  Giant hunks of metal soaring through the empty and cold vacuum that was space, in which you would immediately die if suscepted to with no gear, was not your ideal method of transportation.  The ship shook as the engine powered on, the vibration only increasing as it lost contact with the solid ground.  Your hands flew to the sides on the restraint bar, gripping them as hard as possible.
Soon enough, after the ship had left the atmosphere, things calmed down- no more shaking or weird creaking.  Just silence.  It was unclear if noise, or the lack of, was creepier.  Oh well.  You slowly unlatched the bar, figuring that if the ship were to explode in the middle of space, it wouldn't matter if you were strapped in or otherwise.  Carefully standing up, using the wall as support, you began a miniature exploration expedition.  A very miniature one, considering it was just the room you were in and one to the left, the only ones which you had been granted access to.  You were tired, and perhaps the other room had a bed.  Or at least some blankets you could toss together and call a nest.
You opened the door, entering the access code, and much to your complete disappointment- it was empty.  Utterly, completely, so-very, empty.  A deep sigh escaped your lips, shoulders slumping in sync.  So much for that 10-step trip.  You sharply turned around, tail swishing in a mixture of annoyance and boredom.
Unfortunately, before you could make it two steps away, a rough hand grabbed the nape of your neck, hauling you upwards and turning you back to face the assaulter.  A sharp cry escaped, and you pulled your legs and tail into each other, trying to become a small ball hanging involuntarily by the giant mass of a man.  A man, you realized with horror, who was part of the group you had just looted.  That was bad.  You sheepishly raised one hand to wave, smiling in the most last-ditch effort to save your red hide.  Before you could get any pleas out, he roughly tossed you, twisted his own body for extra momentum.  You landed, hard, against the metal wall, black blood trailing down your nose.  A rough cough came out, followed by a copious amount of saliva.  Your hand reached up to wipe it off, the other one underneath you to provide some balance as you were down on knees, tail curling in front- a feeble attempt to look menacing.
Looking around, you took in the four adult men- but the adult woman and little girl were nowhere to be seen.  Made sense, considering the attire between the group.  The four men were dressed in armor, like soldiers, whereas the other two had general attire with a few handy trinkets or weapons.  I guess these four do the more ‘beat-up-people’ focused work…
“Nice surprise, right?” said the one with a half-and-half black and white helmet, a red stripe going down the middle.  “Didn’t expect us to know about your little plan, did ya?”  Half-and-half approached, unsheathing a vibro-knife.  That wasn’t good.  You scrambled up, backing into the wall, a desperate and toothy smile plastered on your face, despite the watering in your eyes.  The one with the goggles backed off, presumably to grab the loot.  That was extra not good.  “Was it the Twi’lek bartender?  Did he rat me out?” you asked, voice cracking, still holding that desperate smile.  Before you died, you at least wanted to know what went wrong that led to this, your ultimate demise in a, truthfully, not all that long career of crime.
Half-and-half bent down, and lifted your head up by the horns, holding the blade to your neck.  Your heart rate spiked, chest rising and falling far faster than any chest ever should.  “Technically, we got to him first.  Told him to let you loot us.  Told this ship’s pilot to do what we say.  And after we land, you’ll be taking us directly to your employer.  Got it?” he loathed, voice all the more terrifying under the helmet.  Your yellow eyes, scrunched and watering, reflected perfectly back in his visor, making the entire situation all the more real and terrifying.  You shakily nodded, agreeing in full.  “Good,” he spoke firmly, pulling the blade away from your neck and twirling it back into its sheath.  He dropped your horns, and you slumped backwards, a shaky breath exuding.
He stood up, signaling something to the other men, and they all began to turn around and walk out.  You cautiously opened your eyes, only to be met with everyone leaving- you quickly scrambled, and attempted to tell them to wait, but it was to no avail- Goggles was already losing the door.  An echo sounded through the room, leaving you alone, your eyes comically glowing administ the pitch black, ragged breathing filling the room.  This was so, very, not good.
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