#avil plays hi3

[elegyofthemoon]

i feel like i need to go back and reread the earlier manga even though they were retconned within the timeline but i feel so bad for mei in chapter 15 :(

i think it was in st.freya high/escape from nagazora (which i know are ggz or honkai gakuen 2 manga but it was on the reading list so i read it anyways asdlkfah), but i think a lot about how she was so afraid of her powers as a herrscher, and how it was kiana that had saved her back then.

there's "will of the herrscher" where she finds out that kiana's the herrscher of the void, and in parallel with escape from nagazora, mei tries to save kiana, and calling out to kiana, she does manage to get kiana's consciousness back but loses it so quickly and soon enough loses kiana in the process

then finally over in arc city, when she thought she would be able to reunite with kiana and bring kiana back home -- even despite everything, even despite how much kiana feels like she doesn't deserve to go home -- she still isn't able to save kiana the way kiana had saved her several times now, and how powerless she must feel against durandal taking kiana away from her.

she just wants kiana back :( please reunite them...

#avil plays hi3 #i am hhhhh #i love you hi3 you have such good character development but also i am In Pain #raiden mei #tbh ! i havent thought much about mei #IN A LONG WHILE ACTUALLY im pretty sure the last coherent thought i had about her was back in ch 8 with the animation and the parallel ive #mentioned #but its so good.... i love it #side thing i cant listen to durandal in cn because when she talks my brain goes 'vENTI ?!?!?!?! 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺VENTIIIII' #durandals cool though i like her as well (i like her wife but thats a different thing) #idc if this is coherent tbh i was just putting pieces together #i love kiamei T _ T they are good and they make me happy (i am in absolute Pain over them) #idk i think theres something very artistic about mei trying so hard to chase after the speeding light that is durandal #it feels very much the summary of mei trying to save kiana all this time #always always out of reach

[elegyofthemoon]

well. i finished ch 17 of hi3. but at what cost

#avil plays hi3 #tbf majority of me playing through hi3 just looks like This. #yes the acheron trailer made me get up and finish ch 17 #i. :( #the fight between kiana and mei was so painful :( #ok also i suck ass in the combat and i was so scared of having to restart #BUT I THINK I HURT MORE THE FACT THAT KIANA JUST REFUSED TO GIVE UP ON MEI #BUT MEIS ALSO DOING THIS BECAUSE SHES TRYING TO SAVE KIANA #AND THEY WERE BOTH FIGHTING TO STOP AND TRY TO SAVE EACH OTHER #MEI YOU SAVED KIANA BUT LIKE..... DONT YOU WANT TO LIVE ALONGSIDE HER.... MEI PLEASE #tbh. the way i was going through ch 17 for hi3. #kiana and mei remind me a lot of oz and gil's relationship back in pandora hearts but #now it makes me want to hit my head on a brick wall because #'wow. i really just gravitate tO THE SAME FUCKING MEDIA EVERY DAMN TIME AVIL STOP IT FFS' #also idk i was thinking about it too #mei tried earlier to use the herrschers powers to try and protect kiana but it wasnt enough. she failed that time #and with no other option to save her she just HAD to and it makes me HURT that this was her only option #IN HER HEAD. I BELIEVE IN YOU MEI I THINK THERE COULDVE BEEN ANOTHER OPTION HERE (IDK WHAT BUT I AM SOBBING) #sprawls on the ground #at least i can have an emotional break for a little bit.... hsr update so i can chill w that #and then when i finish catching up w that. then i go back to being hi3's punching bag #can i get off this train now? why'd i sign myself up for this (welt yang doomed me and then i got fucked over by everything else) #idk also the way that both mei AND kiana resorted to using their herrscher powers to stop the other. two stubborn people.... #but its done because they just... they just care so much and want to save the other #okay yeah we did beat each other up about it bUT STILL #MEI I BELIEVE IN YOU YOU CAN TURN THIS AROUND 😭😭😭😭😭 #anyways. glad i did. i have the worst stomach ache rn so i was Going through it #but my brain hit a reset so i feel normal now. save for the crying

[elegyofthemoon]

ok but i'm just thinking about one of the memory logs for sakura and how mobius tells sakura that what happened to her after her mantis surgery is at least better than what happened to both mobius and kevin after theirs, but from then on, sakura is no longer human and no one else will look at her like a human like before

then you timeskip over to when sakura is trying to save rin from MOTH, and she's arguing with kevin about how the MANTIS soldiers will always be outsiders and a threat to MOTHs because of the surgery. and how this treatment is what makes sakura afraid for rin and inevitably leads to her doom i :(

#yes i was replaying ch 12 again (WELL IT WAS BC I WAS STREAMING FOR A FRIEND) #i think i replay ch 12 way too often somethings wrong with me lmao #idk how to describe the feeling #a drop of water that ripples out over time basically #that instilling of a fear that blows up later #sakura may not care how people think of her BUT FOR HER SISTER YEAH OF COURSE SHE WILL CARE SO MUCH ON RINS TREATMENT #and my god. poor rin. #listen i just really love sakura T _ T #like every rendition of sakura i adore lmao #ik yae sakura is different from sakura but narratively speaking its kinda juicy the repetition of an older sister who loves her younger #sister so deeply that it inevitably kills her #well not kill. she gets trapped in a box in the village arc but still asdfajdlkh #avil plays hi3 #IM REALLY THINKING ABOUT IT I WONDER IF SAKURA RANKS OVER FU HUA NOW FOR FAVE CHARACTER BC I THINK OF SAKURA SM LMAO #she actually might be aldkfalasjfh #anyways someday ! i wanna commission someone to draw sakura and lightning switch clothes #i start my job today so i will now be getting money :D #but i have to be very mindful on expenses alsdkjafh

[elegyofthemoon]

reading springfest now after everything in nagazora is making me crave more fu hua and mei interactions. i feel like thus far in my go through, i've never actually seen them interact, but it's kinda fun that the person who made the recommended reading order put springfest after nagazora (though of course this is probably in preparation for whatevers going on with senti/fu hua rn in ch 19)

but the way that the empyrea isolates herself so she doesn't have any attachment to those who she will outlive and how she winds up becoming lonely as a result threw me back to mei isolating herself in world serpent so that she can protect kiana and just... idk..... i think the two talk about that isolation would be interesting

also. i love fu hua. she's still at the top of my list for best character so i'm just a happy little guy getting more fu hua content now in the story :> yippee fu hua

#idk who to ramble to about honkai so hi #avil plays hi3 #ill probably liveblog my thoughts as i read through springfest and UH #blade of the empyrean! #but im excited :> then after that i gotta go through the 7 blades visual novel ^7^ that one has sushang!! i havent met her in the game yet #but i do have her !!! #its kinda interesting though because sushangs ultimate in hi3 is yanqing's ultimate in hsr. or i guess yanqing as a boss??? #idk. so im like HMMMMMMMM WHATS UP THERE WHATS GOING ON #i wonder if theres a character sorter for hi3 actually #if i had to say who my top 5 are atm for honkai #its probably like fu hua mei kiana kevin and sakura ??? #kiana is so easy. like if i loved oz vessalius how could i NOT love kiana we sure love vessel characters LJSHDFLASKDHFLAKSH #maybe its also recency effect though for mei but also. characters who isolate thinking that its the best htey could do to protect #like NO YOU IDIOT GET LOVED!!!!! GET L O V E D #they kinda get me #AND WELT I FORGOT WELT HOW COULD I DO THAT...... #i feel like welt over kevin tbh #but thats super hard to say on my end alkdjfha #YOU KNOW i wouldve also said rita because i think rita is so fun #but i still dotn know enough about her #but personality wise i think shes so funny in a very stereotypical anime villain esque way LOL #also she is so catty too like what was she doing picking a fight with natasha LKAJHDLAFKJSDFH #OH I ALSO LOVE RITA AND NATASHA... #tbh i havent run into a character that i absolutely Hate in honkai yet.... #at least not that i remember #if i hated them i probably forgot about them LMAOOOOO #like even durandal? i love durandal in the manga. she doesnt really stand out to me MUCH yet in the game but i loved her a lot in the manga #but for me durandal is low on the list for now. but that doesnt mean i dislike her i think shes cool but just hasnt done anything in #particular that caught my attention yet alskjdfahl #rambling WHOOPS ASLKJDFA

[elegyofthemoon]

WAIT FU HUA ACTUALLY STARTED THE SCHOOL THAT LITTLE BOOK SUGGESTED WHAT 😭😭

#caps #avil plays hi3 #in springfest little book was like 'youre a lot happier with people!! you should start a school :D' #and like ok i get it bc teach more people to learn how to fight against the honkai #but also i think its sweet too that fu hua did ; w; #rather than isolating herself further #she bounced back ; v ; #MEI I HAVE FAITH IN YOU YOU CAN BOUNCE BACK FROM ALL THIS #T _ T me and my love for characters who are 'im a mosaic of all the people ive come to know'

[elegyofthemoon]

weird low energy aside, i'm probably gonna get hot tea or something and finally finish ch 19 today which will be :] bc the next things i have are a bunch of manga that's fu hua centric so i'm at least happy and excited for it 👏🏼👏🏼

#avil plays hi3 #i think my periods coming up so thats why my mood hit a sudden low its Ew #its also kinda all over the place tbh but like. ehhhhh #anyways ! fu hua !!!!

[elegyofthemoon]

ik i made a post about this before but like...how do i explain that this sort of question is the thing that i want SOOOOOO desperately for kallen in village arc

its just the thing of 'are you doing it because you REALLY want to or is it that youre doing it out of a sworn oath youve made? would you have saved me otherwise if you didn't have that oath?'

im still mostly spaced out during this chapter (even moreso today bc my brains doing something weird.), but it's kinda nice to see honkai go through this with ana and tianwu's story. it kinda makes ana feel more human, the way she started very bright and cheery about being a valkyrie before disaster strikes and she's running away from it leaving her teammates behind. it's juicy

#avil plays hi3 #anyways i miss kallen #like im slooowly warming up to tianwu and ana but im also like mmm ok #i get the parallel between tianwu and mei though i get it but T _ T

[elegyofthemoon]

been slowing with honkai once i got to ch 18 and 19 1) bc i feel a little bored 2) im just in pain bc mei is miserable so im miserable too watching her like girl please stop you are your own undoing 😭

#the parallel too between tianwu and mei is making me more miserable asdlkfjashkl #IM FINE THOUGH LIKE I LOVE IT and i feel like it didnt pick up for me till the parallels w mei and tianwu but God. #like bro i know this mans bout to die trying to save ana its going to be bad and very sad but im also like #mmmmmmm mei >_> #idk. #i cant word it properly bc im caffeinated and shaking like a leaf (and sleepy) against this COLD AND RAINY WEATHER T - T #but im just #mei....... i hope.....you kinda. take something out. from this experience...... #like she sees herself in tianwu as well which makes me go hmmmmmm hmmmmmmm #T _T but idk if she will understand..... #avil plays hi3 #its not as super eventful as the last few chapters i think #and the slowing of the plot is nice bc you can just sit for a bit and think #but also im like #(sprawls on the floor)

[elegyofthemoon]

AHHH!!!!!!!!

#SAKURAAAAAAAAAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #AS SOON AS I READ THAT AND LIKE W THE MYRIAD CELESTIA ALSO SHOWING OFF A SWORD THAT LOOKS LIKE SAKURAS TOO...... #SAKURAAAAAA 😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭😭 #hi yeah. i forgot su world 9 was a thing until right now and then i woke up from being drowsy #and then locked in and just Dug for all the izumo stuff fjdjdjdjd #IDK REMEMBERING THAT LINE AND THAT ITS SOMETHING SAKURA SAID MADE ME V HAPPY 😭😭😭😭 #CAN I HAVE SAKURA EXPY NOW PLEASE :(((((( I LIKE MY GIRL :(((((((( #avil plays hsr #avil plays hi3 #i have more thoughts on izumo but. i also am not far enough on hi3 to say for certain #but!! it makes me so happy i decided to check out honkai impact bc now i have better appreciation!!!! #i want more izumo lore so bad 😭😭😭😭 #'just keep playing honkai then' BUT 🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺🥺 #idk !!! idk how to express how happy i am about seeing sakura reference!!!!!!! i love sakura sm....

[elegyofthemoon]

it's a curse to be replaying through honkai even if i haven't actually finished part 1 in its entirety ( /_\)

I still really wonder why they decided to reuse certain characters over and over again - the way they decided to reuse Sakura between Previous Era and then Yae Village, and then decided to use Himeko (or well idk if her name was Himeko) in both Previous Era and present time.

But I do love that both cases I'm seeing, both characters are trapped to fate some way or another. I went off about Sakura before, but I didn't realize that the Vermillion Knight battlesuit is supposed to replicate the Herrscher of Fire -- the Herrscher that possesses Previous Era Himeko. Just something about something from Previous Era carrying on into present time.

While Sakura's story ends more in tragedy, and well so does Himeko's, I kinda like the idea that contrast to her time as the Herrscher of Fire that brought about destruction, she uses a similar power to protect and save her student and give her student a chance to live out a better life.

It adds a lot more to her words: "You can still end this story the way you want."

Just like how in this life, Himeko chose to use that power of destruction to save, Kiana can use those powers of the Herrscher to protect as well.

#hi sorry im talking out of my ass im just Sad lol #idk. is this anything? is it coherent? #this is so painful because iwas also playing through sakuras story in ch 12 AGAIN BECAUSE I APPARENTLY WANTED TO BE SAD ABOUT SAKURA AGAIN #so back to back with the 'cycle of pain' #i kinda wish i knew more about what happened with previous era himeko outside of divine key which doesnt really tell me much of anything #aside from she was mentor to hua ; - ; #WHICH REMINDS ME WHEN HUA WAS LIKE 'MAY WE BE FATED TO MEET IN ANOTHER LIFE' #HUA STOP IM GONNA START CRYING ORZ #avil plays hi3 #ok but its been very fun replaying through hi3 #but. i realize while im playing like #it really is such a wild ride because i would remember major plot points #but i wouldnt remember the bridge between #and then i go ??? wait howd we get from point a to point b? #ah..... anyways #i love honkai impact it makes me happy (im in so much suffering)

[elegyofthemoon]

me reading through acheron's voice lines just looks like

#avil plays hsr #i got her to lvl 80 today :] #but im also out of energy reserves adkjfaslkfashlkfjhslk #i dont have good relics on her bc my luck there is Ill #and i dont have her traces up either + dont have her light cone #but man...... #its so funny i was thinking about the sorter and im actually surprised she made it to top 5/6? #but thats probably recency effect + me focusing so much on penacony and hi3 reference lmaoooo so that might be it #however after reading her voice lines im like '....ah we have a problem' (<- likes dramatic ass lines for some reason) #all i can here is the distant sounds of 'sora' and weeping (<- its me im weeping.) #im. chatty today about hsr/hi3 idk. #i dont know what i want to say but man. i sure like these games !

[elegyofthemoon]

Also Lightning just for funsies

AHHHHHHHH FF13 WAHOO

blank character bingo

So I'll say this first: I'm not the biggest Lightning fan. Lightning is objectively well written and I love her sm but she doesn't sit in my brain as often as say, Hope or Vanille in the series. Maybe even Noel actually asdklfjadshl idk

But I love her nonetheless, not as much as she loves her sister. The whole series of FF13 is centered around Lightning saving her sister over and over again. FF13-2 is where Serah is saving Lightning and sacrifices herself doing so, and that guilt hits Lightning severely over in Lightning Returns.

But this guilt has also just been something she's dealt with growing up.

After losing her parents at such a young age, Lightning had no choice but to force herself to grow up for Serah and her sake. Serah relied on her so Lightning had to make ends meet, but this came at sacrificing her time with Serah.

In the first game, Serah and Lightning's relationship is...albeit distant. The way siblings can be awkward with one another over time, but the love is still present all the same. Serah always cooks for Lightning when she comes back home, and Lightning is fighting as a soldier for Serah. Love is present, even if not spoken.

And that's just the sister dynamic between the two. Lightning and fighting. The reason why Lightning had named herself "Lightning" and even has 2/3 of her main roles within the battle system (a whole can of worms that I shouldn't open ALKDJFH) is all offense roles. "Lightning: it burns bright and fades away. It can never protect, only destroys." The girl took out the grief of losing her parents on fighting. Fighting was her coping mechanism because her job as a soldier is what allowed her to push herself forward. But it wasn't until she started reflecting further on this with Hope's situation in which Hope was ALSO READY TO START FIGHTING as a means to sustain himself that Lightning realizes that this is wrong. That that's no way to cope.

But of course, it really takes Lightning till the end of the series to really understand that. She buried that grief so deep in herself and locked people out because she was so focused on just trying to press on and you know, fight.

She's a really interesting character, and I love her a lot. She might not be a blorbo in the way that she doesn't sit in my head so often, but my GOD if I have to read another "Lightning is just Cloud 2.0", I'm going to start beating people with a hammer :D

#answered #!! #avil plays ff13 #i love lightning so much actually askldfjah #tbh i love a lot of the ff13 theyre all really wonderful #oh this is lowkey the reason why i also adore the idea and discussion of nihility within hsr because similarly #with ff13 its all about the idea of finding meaning for ones self to push themself forward #so penacony arc tickles exactly that kind of vibe that i adore with ff13 ^u^ makes me happy #oh also hi3 too tbh but alsdjfh hi3 hits the pandora hearts vibes more than ff13 ldkjafhlkj #ANYWAYSSSSS

[elegyofthemoon]

on the other hand i rewatched kyoden and it hits a lot more now that i got to ch 17 but im sad

#NOW I UNDERSTAND.....HONKAI WORLD DIVA..... IN THE BGM.... #its such a pretty rendition #i cant wait for them to release the albums w all the bgm im just gonna be depressed listening to them lmao #ive watched it like 4 times total now. its not that much. but i. #avil plays hsr #the music is so good in the bg tho #idk what to do w myself rn LMAO so im just rewatching stuff w context #and will probably try to look around in hsr for stuff #OK what i wanted to say was like #idk honkai world diva sounds so upbeat in hi3 #but the rendition within the myriad celestia feels hollow but maybe bc its orchestrated. #a hollow legend? ig a hollow tale? thats how id explain it lmao