#b) j.j. tried. it was... okay. at least he answered things I wanted answered. | Explore Tumblr Posts and Blogs

inkribbon796 · 4 years

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Loose Lips, Sink Ships

Summary: Secrets, secrets, never tell . . . Secrets, secrets, just as well. Sometimes secrets are harmless, like the fact that Roman has a chronic case of losing the remotes and they don’t actually grow wings. But for Virgil and some of the other heroes, they’re a bit more serious. Too bad the Jims have no sense of the words: “keep out”.

A/N: No ships were harmed in the revealing of secrets. Just Virgil’s peace of mind. ALSO! Just wanted to put it out there I’m really glad I didn’t commit to a name for Deceit, might come out with a bonus fic this weekend for Deceit, cause I’ve got Sanders Sides on the brain.

Marvin would always swear up and down that it was an accident.

The magician had always been good at brewing potions. They took time, and Marvin prided himself on the fact that he could succeed where others failed, or even weren’t so good at. So of course he could make about any type of potion that wasn’t necessarily “above board” to make. I.E: love potions and truth serums. Both of which didn’t last nearly as long as fiction liked to say they lasted for.

However, when the Jims walked into a relatively packed common room with a huge grin, everyone knew something was up with them.

Eric, Patton, Virgil, and Randall were all watching a movie, a little bit of downtime before Patton and Virgil stepped back out. King was in the kitchen arguing about the coffee maker with Ethan and Roman. And Jackie, who was just watching the room, took one look at the Jims and thought, “Oh no, what are they up to this time?”.

“Party’s in the house!” RJ screamed and threw the glass potion he’d been hiding behind his back onto the floor. It smashed into pieces and quickly began to fill up the space.

A silvery smoke instantly flooded the room, more smoke than could have possibly fit inside that little glass orb.

Everyone in the lobby area began coughing, the smoke physically forcing them to breath it in. Jackie used his super speed to open the door and force the smoke out into the open air.

“Fook!” Jackie coughed, “what was that?”

“Not a glitter bomb,” RJ shrugged.

“I thought the label said it was a glitter bomb,” CJ agreed.

“Yeh fookers are mad,” Jackie spat. “Where’d you even get it?”

“Marvin’s study,” CJ answered. “He was working on something else.”

“Then why’d you take it?” Anxiety shouted. “What even was that thing?”

Both of the Jim Twins looked at each other, and then shrugged at the same time.

“Helpful,” Virgil glared at them.

“Okay, so we gotta figure out what it does,” Patton added. “Do you think it’s going to hurt anyone outside?”

“Nah, it was starting to dissipate when it hit the air outside,” Jackie said, zipping over to check outside for a second “Yep, coast’s all clear.”

Patton let out a sigh of relief, “Okay, that’s good.

“Maybe we could ask Marvin,” Randall asked.

“Good idea,” the Jim twins began at almost the same time. “We’ll go find him.”

Then they looked at each other with confusion.

“Nah uh,” Ethan walked over. “I don’t trust the two of you with shit. I’m coming with.”

Once the three of them were gone, Roman commented, “What if it only works on twins. Oh no! Will I be forced to share a mind with Remus again.”

“Shoot me,” Virgil groaned.

“No, you don’t really mean that do you?” Patton asked in concern.

“Of course not,” Virgil said. “It just slipped out.”

Patton looked relieved, and then tears started prickling his eyes, “Oh good, I don’t want anything to happen to you.”

Then Patton raced over and wrapped his arms around Virgil, the more anxious Side stiffening up like a cat that had been suddenly picked up.

“Come on, Pat, let me go,” Virgil struggled.

“Why don’t I ever get a hug from you?” Roman complained.

Jackie had his head in one of his hands, his phone starting to ring for Marvin. He was getting impatient, even more so when Marvin didn’t answer him. “Come on, we need to figure out what we got hit with.”

Marvin walked in with Ethan and the twins, and Jackie immediately stomped over to him.

“Hey Marv, what the hell?” Jackie spat. “What’d they steal?”

“I can’t tell just by the color ‘a smoke,” Marvin defended heatedly. “Has anyone suddenly tried making out.”

“No,” Eric said. “I ha-ve a b-b-oy-friend now, and . . . I don’t want to cheat on him. I’ve . . . I’ve never had a boy-friend before and—”

“Eric,” Marvin called out. “Breathe.”

“Is it Illy?” Roman’s attention hyper focused on Eric. “Did he call back? Tell me.”

“Illinois?” King balked. “Why the hell you are dating that asshole?”

“He’s not an asshole, he’s a sweetheart,” Eric began tearing up.

“He put slugs in my bed,” King dismissed. “He’s a nut job who got crazier the older he got and the closer he got to Dad.”

“Is it the same Illinois that works for Dark?” Virgil spoke up. “King’s right, he’s crazy.”

“He’s not!” Eric began crying.

“Hey, quit making ‘em cry, assholes,” Randall shouted back.

Magic suddenly seized all of them, Marvin taking control of the situation. “Hey,” Marvin called out. “Okay, it’s either a truth potion, or someone aerosolized my supply of Whiskey.”

“What were you doing with a truth potion?” Jackie demanded. “Did you give it to those two fookers?”

“No,” Marvin scoffed. “Those two would steal the clothes off my back if it meant pulling a prank.”

“We totally would,” CJ smiled, fist bumping with his brother; both of them which huge proud smiles.

“Doesn’t mean you didn’t try something,” Jackie reminded.

“I didn’t drug yeh, an’ it’ll wear off anywhere from an hour ta about a day, ‘pends on the dose.”

“A whole day!” Jackie was practically screeching.

“Depends on the dose,” Marvin answered. “But as long as no one’s got some deep dark secret you all should be fine.”

Anxiety let out a nervous scream.

Kay laughed nervously, “Everyone already knows mine.”

Patton began sobbing, whatever he was saying almost indecipherable.

“Well that’s great,” Marvin groaned.

“Why did yah even have that potion?” Jackie asked, still glaring at Marvin. “Probably didn’t mean for us ta get it though.”

“I made it ages ago an’ didn’t want ta risk it by flushing it down the drain,” Marvin spat. “Just get e’eryone comfortable, I’ll see if I can whip an antidote up.”

“Thanks, asshole,” Jackie spat. Then he looked a little surprised. “Dammit, that was supposed to stay in my head.”

“Well ‘til the potion wears off, it’s not. Keep everyone who was affected here,” Marvin sighed. “I’ll make some calls.”

Jackie nodded, thanking Marvin in-between cursing at him.

Keeping themselves in the lobby they tried not to insult each other the best they could. Eric was mostly calmed down, only snapping at King who snapped back. It was fun for everyone to see the normally timid Eric snapping at someone.

However Patton was lying in the middle of the floor, staring at the ceiling. Virgil and Roman were on either side of him. King and Jackie were on the sofa and both the Jim’s were piled into a bean bag chair. Eric has gone to his room to sleep everything off, Randall taking him there.

“Do you ever think that your life’s a lie?” Patton mumbled out loud. “That no matter how many times you fuse, and how hard you try to be a good person, someone can just scoop out everything that makes you a good person and put in something else.”

Roman stared at him. “Like what?”

“I think I was replaced with another Patton, that your Patton is in my world, and I’m here,” Patton began to ramble. “But I wanna be a good person, I wanna be a good person so bad it hurts.”

“You are a good guy, Pat,” Roman said, cuddling up next to him.

“No, I’m a bad person,” Patton said in-between sobbing, his voice choking up. “I worked with Dark, I’ve watched people die.”

“You never worked with Dark, you’re been with the other Sides the whole time,” Anxiety told him. “I would have recognized you.”

“Then why do I have all these awful memories in my head that won’t go away,” Patton sat up, looking desperately at Virgil. Whether or not he was looking for reassurance or someone to validate his claims was unknown. “They only go away when I fuse. When I was Thomas last time they went away for months.”

Anxiety seemed to be thinking on Patton’s words, “It must be Arthur, he must be doing that to you. He’s forcing you to think that way.”

“Who’s Arthur?” Patton asked.

“Arthur’s dead,” King interrupted. “He bled out on an operating table in front of me. How many times do I keep having to repeat that.”

“What do you mean he’s dead, he can’t be,” Virgil responded. “He’s been keeping Dark from taking over the base.”

“Nah that’s Host and J.J, the two of them keep Dark out,” Roman bragged. “Dark’s always been trying to get into the base but it wasn’t until the Host joined that J.J got some help.”

“I knew he was a liar!” Anxiety shouted.

“Who?” Roman asked. “Dee?”

“Dark!” Anxiety answered. “Oh no.”

“He lies about a lot of stuff,” King agreed. “He once told me we couldn’t get a pet, and then he got himself a cat and named it after himself. I just wanted a puppy.”

“That’s so sad,” Patton told him, rolling over to prop his chin up on his palms. “Least you got a kitty.”

“For a couple days,” King dismissed. Then he paused, “Hey Vee, how’d you even hear about Artie? Everyone in the network uses nicknames.”

Virgil felt the words coming, like an out of control freight train with broken brakes. He grabbed at his throat. “He told me to look for him.”

“Who?” King asked. “Artie?”

“I don’t want to do it, I have talked with him since,” Virgil said, everyone was staring at him.. “You have to believe me, I didn’t believe it, I’m not spying on you, I promise!”

“I believe you,” Patton told him. “You don’t have to talk to him ever again.”

“What kind of spy doesn’t report on the people he’s spying on?” Jack agreed.

“You’re not mad?” Virge asked, daring to hope that somehow he was getting out of this alive. “Even if I was a bad guy?”

King laughed, “You think that’s bad, I’m hiding out from my old man because he would probably kill me if he ever saw me again.”

“Who’s your dad?” Randall asked.

“Dark,” King said, before slapping his hand over his mouth. “Oh no, Host’s gonna kill me.”

“What!?” About half of the heroes in the room shouted. Virgil stared at King.

“You’re not Arthur,” Virgil said out loud, his filter completely destroyed by the truth dust.

“Nah, that’s one of my siblings,” King was staring at his hands. “Host, Bim, Yan, me, Illy, Yancy, and . . .”

Then he stared at his hands, “Huh, weren’t there seven of us?”

“Was that Arthur?” Virgil asked.

“Nah, I already counted him,” King dismissed, waving at Virgil’s direction. “Sides, Artie’s kinda dead, except in the ways that probably matter. You all lucked out, you guys didn’t have to babysit him.”

RJ, who was almost falling asleep with CJ snapped away, almost dragging him and his camera over to have it almost pressed into King’s face. “This sounds like a story.”

King stared at the camera in fear, “Is that live? Please tell me it’s not live.”

“The Jim Twins should make sure it doesn’t see the light of day,” the Host announced himself.

“Host, there’s a truth spray in the air!” King called out desperately as the Host walked closer.

“Even if it was still the air, the Host’s narrations have him dictate his mind anyways,” the seer reminded.

“Oh yeah,” King’s mouth formed a thin line. “You really got the short end didn’t you?”

The Host just stared at him. “The King of the Squirrels should take a nap before he incriminates himself any further.”

“What if I did?” King somehow looked halfway between apologetic and not even a little remorseful. “Like, what if I messed up, bad?”

“The Host noticed,” the seer frowned at him.

“Nah, it was bad,” King frowned. “The one thing you told me not to do, I did it.”

“The Host can see the future, he doesn’t need a replay,” the Host reminded curtly.

“Do you hate me?” King asked sadly. “You probably do, right?”

The Host sat down on the couch next to his adopted brother, his expression softening, “The Host has never hated King.”

“Did Artie?” King was staring at his hands.

“No the Author did not hate King either,” the Host told him “He was angry and dangerous, but he did not hate his adopted family.”

King looked sad, “Oh, that sucks. Cause you were an asshole and I always felt bad about not being nicer.”

“King should save his sympathy,” Host decided. “The Author did not deserve it.”

“You did,” King told him. “You were in there, an’ I should’a been nicer.”

“So you’re Arthur then?” Virgil asked, narrowing his eyes in concentration. “Probably should have called that.”

“King and his friends should sleep,” Host told him, as his words began to curl around the room and people began dropping one by one to sleep. “Everything will be better after you sleep.”

They slept, making it easier for the minds to clear even if each of their dreams were a little more unusual and potion-fueled than usual. Marvin was able to lift the spell by the time they woke up, leaving an uncomfortable atmosphere in the potion’s wake.

#Superhero AU #Masks and Maladies #Mark Fischbach #Sean McLoughlin #Thomas Sanders #the Jim Twins #Marvin the Magician #Anxiety Sanders #Patton Sanders #Roman Sanders #King of the Squirrels #Jackieboy Man #the Host #Randall Voorhees #Eric Derekson #Truth Serum #Jim chaos #the Jims at their finest

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j-j-ehlby-writes · 5 years

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Meet Me at the Chalet || day five.

Eventual pairing: Tom Hiddleston x OFC (Jenessee Borosi)

Word count: ~3.9k

Summary (I suck at these): Jenessee goes on a solo vacation after the release of her first novel. She got a little more than she bargained for when she gets snowed in with her biggest celebrity crush.

Warnings: So much freaking fluff, swearing but blink and you’ll miss it, Tom being Tom

Side note: If you want to read the full short story Jen and Tom act out at the end, you can check it out here!

night one. || day one. || day two. || day three. || day four. || day five. || day six. ||

“Are you feeling any better today?” He asks as I walk into the kitchen the next morning. After actually talking about it with someone it did make my shoulders feel a tad bit lighter. I’ve never told anyone about those feelings. No one knew about my middle of the night breakdowns. Not even my best friend. So to open up to an almost complete stranger felt odd but nice. I also don’t think I would have opened up this much if it wasn’t Tom who was the one listening.

“I do, thanks to you.” I snake my arms around his waist instantly feeling more awake than I did a second ago.

“Lending a listening ear was all I did, sweetheart. You’re stronger than you think. You just have to have more faith in yourself.” He kissed my cheek before returning to the stove.

“Whatcha makin’?” I stand next to him and observe.

“Since you’ve had a rough couple of days, I looked up some American comfort food and found a recipe for this egg casserole with sausage and cheese. It looked good so I decided to try it.” I chuckled at his wording.

“In the Mid-west we call it ‘egg bake.’ You can never go wrong with making an egg bake for breakfast. My family and I have it for Easter and Christmas morning.”

“I’ve never tried it, so here’s hoping it turns out alright.” He sent me a hopeful smile with a hint of terror.

I couldn’t believe how thoughtful he’s being. I mean, I’ve heard he can meet someone and by the end of the day they’re best friends, but I never expected him to be like this. So comforting and nurturing. All I can say is his mother raised him absolutely right.

Half an hour later, we were lying on the couch, stuffed. We ate half of the 9” x 13” pan he made. I don’t know why he didn’t try a smaller pan since it is just the two of us. That usually feeds at least ten people.

“Darling?” He spoke after some time in the silence. “I have to tell you something.”

I sat up to face him. “Okay.” I took in his sudden nervousness. Whatever he’s about to tell me, he’s obviously apprehensive about but it was also mixed with determination.

“I like you.” He started, nearly sending my heart into a frenzy. Even after what happened the past two days, he says that? “And it’s because of how much I like you and how forthcoming you were with me yesterday that I can’t lie to you anymore.”

I flinched at his words. “You lied? About what?” On all accounts, Tom has been known as a very honest man. To know that he lied to me is surprising.

“My name, for one.”

Then it clicked for me. He was coming clean about who he really is to me. He is willing to give up his anonymity because he wants me to know the real him. My heart swelled at the thought.

Now I have a decision to make. When he tells me, do I tell him I knew all along or do I act shocked to find out that he’s actually this big shot actor and not the lowly theater actor he made me think he was?

He continued, “My name is not Will. Well, my first name isn’t. It is my middle name, William. But my name is actually Tom. Tom Hiddleston.” He paused, looking for some sort of recognition in my features. Thankfully, I kept my expression neutral. “And I’m not just a theater actor. I’ve done some movies that have done well and some that have not. Most people would recognize me as Loki from the Marvel franchise. I’m also currently on a TV show in the UK and am in production for another here in the states.” He paused to let that sink in. “I’m terribly sorry for being dishonest with you. When I met you and you didn’t seem to recognize me, I realized I could have a normal interaction with somebody and not have to worry about having a camera in my face. I know it wasn’t fair to not be completely honest with you, but I’m trying to make up for it by telling you everything now.”

“Wow.” I voiced, his earlier words still repeating in my head. He likes me… He actually told me he likes me; the one who just had a mental breakdown a little under 36 hours ago; someone who he met less than a week ago. Never in a million- no, a BILLION years- did I think that would ever happen. Everyone always dreams they’ll be the one who will catch their favorite actor’s eye. Not once did I think that would happen to me…

“I hope you’re not upset with me, love.” I looked in his eyes and saw how truly terrified he was that I would be mad at him. How could he think I would harbor any negative feelings towards this man with a pure heart of gold?

My hand cupped his cheek. He leaned into my hand, eyes never leaving mine. This man is so pure. He’s too precious for this cruel world and yet, here he is.

“Oh you sweet, sweet man…” I shook my head, smiling at how real my feelings for this guy have become within the last few days. “I’m not upset with you. I don’t think it’s even possible for me to think negatively of you.”

He released a huge sigh of relief, a heart-stopping smile breaking his serious demeanor. He pulled me into his lap, wrapping me up in the kind of bone-crushing hug I’ve always wanted from him.

Since he’s been so truthful with me, I decided to tell him the truth as well. “As long as you’re not upset with me for knowing who you were the entire time.”

“Beg your pardon?”

I resumed my original position next to him to face him, placing both hands on his shoulders. “It hurts, doesn’t it? Being lied to. Being told you’re one thing and then learning it’s all a fiction.” I quoted Loki to show I’ve been a fan of his for a while, but not expressing just how much. “Ragnarok.” I whispered in his ear before standing up and going up to my room.

When I came back down with my writing stuff in hand, he was in the exact same place I left him. “Why did you not say anything before?” He asked still bewildered by this turn of events.

“You wanted anonymity.” I shrugged. “I wasn’t about to take away your one chance at a normal vacation. You work hard. You deserve to relax a little and not have to worry about a camera being shoved in your face.” He shook his head in disbelief at using his words against him. “And besides, I wanted to get to know you as you, the man behind the famous actor.” He still was speechless about my confession. He’s about to get another curve-ball thrown his way... “And while we’re being honest, I’ve been keeping something from you too.”

“Oh?” He finally spoke, curiosity taking over.

I fidget with the pen in my hands, keeping my eyes on it. “You know the book you were reading when I got here? Yeah, that’s mine.”

“Beg your pardon?” He says for the second time during this conversation.

“Yep. I wrote it. I’m J.J. Ehlby.” I finally admit. “It’s my pseudonym. It stands for Jenessee Julia Lynette Borosi. J-J-L-B.”

“So all of that stuff you said about not wanting to be published?” He asks, putting the pieces together in his head.

“Not entirely untrue. That’s exactly how I felt before I got published.”

He chuckled after a brief silence. “I know, darling.”

“Say what?” I blurt.

“I knew. You thought you were sneaky with your reaction to my reading it, but I saw that brief panic set in before you erased it. And then it was a complete giveaway when you pronounced the surname. You said it so flawlessly, I knew it couldn’t have been coincidence. With those two things combined, it wasn’t hard to figure out after that.” He shrugged, that mischievous smile returning to his face.

“Well then…” I plop next to him on the couch. “Now that we have that out of the way, can I please get back to my writing? Last night I was in the middle of a scene before you so rudely tempted me with food.” I stuck my tongue out at him before getting my stuff situated on my lap.

He chuckled at me from his seat. “Of course, love.”

We were enveloped in silence once more as my story came to life in my head as I wrote. That’s where I get lost most of the time. Picturing everything in my head like it’s a movie is what drives me the most. It’s when I get stuck on how someone would move or if a certain action is even possible that I struggle. And since I’m usually alone while writing, I have no one to test it on.

I glance at the man who has resumed his new favorite position on my lap and immediately I want to ask him. But after everything that was just aired, I don’t know if that would be the best idea right now…

“You look like you’re struggling with something.” He pointed out a little while later when he noticed the sound of my pen on paper stopped.

I answered him with sarcasm, “Well aren’t you observant?” He chuckled again as he sat up.

“What are you stuck on?” He asked settling into his new position, tossing his arm around the back of the couch and crossing his ankle over his knee.

I let out a frustrated sigh. “I’m having trouble with placement. I want it to feel realistic but I just can’t seem to get it right in my head.”

“Darling, you know I’m an actor. Use me,” He offered. “I’ll help in any way that I can.”

I bit my lip as I thought about the scene I’m thinking of in my head. The characters get extremely close, closer than him and I have gotten. I know he’s used to people being in his personal space, but still. This feels different…

Despite my reservations I know I would kick myself for not taking his help. So within twenty minutes, we had the potential set up in the living room. We found a table and a roller chair we could use for an “office setting.” I sat in the chair, in the position of the narrator of my story. Tom stood about ten feet away where we placed another table to indicate where the doorway to the office would be. I directed him to lean against the table as best as he could. I also reluctantly let him read and study the scene I had so far.

When he assured me he was ready and didn’t need it for reference anymore, I took it back. On cue, he started, “I see some things never change.”

I turned around in my chair. “What are you doing here?”

He shrugged, “I’m in town.”

“No, I mean, what are you doing here of all places? Why are you here, standing at the door of my office at midnight?” It was so strange to have the scene I had in my head, come to life in front of my eyes. This must be how a writer for a TV series or a movie feels when their vision comes to life as well…

He ran his fingers through his hair and fixed his glasses on cue. “Erm,” he hesitated, shifting uncomfortably, “I came to see you.”

“Why?” I blurted. “Why today of all days?”

“Because my divorce was finalized yesterday and the first person I wanted to see as a single man was you.” My heart leaps at his words as if he really meant them and was the character I had in mind.

“Divorce?” I whispered, faking disbelief.

He nods as he continues reading from the copy I made. “Shortly after I left, I told her the truth.” I drop my jaw as the character would. “She knew I was acting a bit off, but she never expected that. I told her that we never did anything… and she forgave me. I was stunned, too. That just shows how amazing she is. She asked me if I thought I could forget about you in order for us to work on our marriage. I told her I would do anything to save our relationship. We went to counseling, we spent time just the two of us without distractions to focus on who we were before we had gotten married and it all seemed to be working…” He trailed off. “But no matter how hard I tried, you were always in the back of my mind.” He met my eyes again. “I couldn’t forget about you. I couldn’t stop wondering what you must be doing, if you had met someone else, if you were thinking about me… I must have started a thousand phone calls just wanting to hear your voice again.” He paused to just stare. “I longed to see your beautiful smile or hear you laugh. I just wanted to see you again to see if I truly still felt the same as I did before or if I was only fooling myself. And so, I came back around a year ago.”

“What?”

“I came back to have lunch with my former and your current boss. When we were passing through, I saw you. You were strutting around the office, touching base with everyone. Laughing even.” He stares at me in awe as if he was truly reliving that moment. “You were even more beautiful than I remembered.” He steps into my “office,” “That was all I needed to know nothing had changed for me. You still took my breath away.” He shakes his head in amazement at the ground. “On my way out, I pulled someone aside. That someone turned out to be your assistant. Naturally, I introduced myself. He didn’t seem to know who I was, so he was more than happy to divulge any and all information about you. He raved about how ‘amazing’ it was to work for you and how you were extremely well-liked but seemed like you were ‘hung up’ on ‘your previous boss,’ thinking you were still in love with him. He didn’t go into detail but…” He chuckles again, “I didn’t need to hear anymore. With even the tiniest glimmer of hope that you still felt the same way I did even after all this time… I returned home and told her I couldn’t do it anymore. My heart was no longer in it and she knew that. Filing for divorce was the easiest decision I’ve made in a long time.”

“Okay, now come over here.” I whisper, still slightly affected by this situation. I pointed to the spot I imagined and Tom did this, coming to a stop where I said. I turned my chair to face him. “Kneel.” I broke character for two seconds to throw that in there. He did too, cracking up at my reference. “Okay, okay,” I said trying to get us back on track. “But seriously, drop to your knees.” I directed.

He did as I instructed instantly getting back into character. His eyes relayed the exact emotions I wanted the character to have: sadness, regret, longing, relief… I don’t know how he did it so flawlessly, but that just shows how brilliant of an actor he is.

His eyebrows were furrowed creating the creases in his forehead; the type of creases he gets whenever anything caused him any distress. I’d seen them during multiple interviews and pap photos. I wanted to massage them away every time I saw them, as did the character.

“Okay, now hold still. This is a trouble spot,” I whispered to him as I tried to run over everything in my head. I reached out to do exactly as I pictured. He watched as I did so, the wrinkles disappearing the instant my fingers touched them. His eyes fluttered shut at the contact. He released a shaky breath just like I imagined his character would. My hands were trembling as I imagined the character’s would, not knowing just how much until they came in contact with his skin. I brought my fingers down over his prominent cheekbones. His beard was surprisingly soft to the touch, taking a moment to appreciate it by running the back of my hand down his jaw. His large hand covered mine when it came to his neck, bringing it up to his lips, placing a kiss on my palm. I made a mental note of his action as I didn’t want to break this tender moment.

“The hardest being when I let you walk away from me.” He whispered, locking his eyes on mine, pain and truth written all over them. It nearly knocked me out of my seat. He encompassed everything I expected.

My shoulders slumped in defeat, losing myself in the scene. I slide off the chair as I imagined, falling knee to knee in front of him. He scooped up my hands in his, causing goosebumps to form on my entire body from his touch. He held them, running his thumbs over the backs like I wanted him to. He took a deep breath taking my attention away from our contact. “I love you, darling.” He confessed, making my heart flutter. “I believe I always have. I just didn’t know how much until I’d lost you.”

Maybe this was a bad idea… I thought I could handle doing this with him. I thought I could try and compartmentalize the acting from reality, but with him, it’s nearly impossible. He makes me believe what he’s saying, even though I know in the back of my mind that it’s not true. They’re just words I wanted him to read aloud. Nothing is real about them.

The line I wrote last before getting stuck was “If my heart could fly, it would soar…” and oh how freaking true it is…

“Okay, this is where I got stuck. I don’t know how to get where I want them to go next.” I voiced, needing his input.

“What do you want to happen?” He softly asked as if he were still in character.

“She has been imagining how this moment would play out for six years. To have the man she has been madly in love with for over half a decade finally telling her what she’s only dreamed about him saying for that long… She’s taking it all in.” I release his hands and stand on my knees to be level with the desk. I grab my pen and start writing what I see play out in my head. “She searches his eyes for fallacies, but she obviously doesn’t find any.” I vocalize to him as I write so he can stay in the loop. “She worries that she may have fallen asleep at her desk, but then she looks at their hands. The warmth his hands are giving her is the only tether to the real world she has.”

“And because she doesn’t say anything, he’s anxious.” Tom joined in. “He sees how she’s stuck in her head, so he has to bring her back to him somehow.”

I take a moment to take his suggestion into consideration. I agree that she shouldn’t say anything at first. She’s lost in the fact that he’s in front of her, confessing his feelings for her when she’s only made up conversations like this in her head.

“If she’s looking at their hands, he could use his hand to bring her eyes back to his. He’s missed her as much as she has him so he’ll want to stare into them as much as he possibly can.” He adds, making perfect sense.

“Good.” I write it out as it plays out in my head over and over again. “As for the dialogue, there doesn’t need to be much. There really isn’t much else to say, except for her finally telling him how she feels.”

“Should we just see where it takes us?” He suggested. I nodded in agreement. I returned to our previous position after finishing. His hands enveloped mine again, the warmth of them heating up my now cold fingers. I watched as if I could see them warming before my eyes. He let go of one of mine and brought it to my face. He used his thumb and forefinger to take my chin and bring my gaze back to his, just like we described. “Darling?” He whispered.

Both of us were brought up to our knees with the feeling of our bodies longing to be closer to the other, driving us to stay close.

“Is this real?” I asked, feeling like I just came out of a daydream. My hands found their way into his long ginger locks. They were just as soft as I imagined them to be. I would have run my fingers through them every day if he would’ve let me…

“God, I hope so.” He breathes out, leaning his forehead against mine. He wrapped his arms around my waist, our hips connecting. Tingles spread throughout my body at the close contact. My heart was beating so loudly, I’m sure he can hear it.

I froze, knowing what I wanted to happen next with the characters, but I don’t know if I could handle what would happen if we were to do what I was thinking… Oh God do I want to kiss him. I’ve thought about kissing him since the first night. But I didn’t think he would’ve been okay with me doing so. After his confession earlier though, he might be now… However, I can’t let that happen. Because if I were to let myself have what I’ve been dreaming of, I don’t think I’ll want to stop.

So to save us both some awkwardness for the last two days we have here, I pulled away from him. He looked confused as I stood up completely. My knees yelled at me for abusing them more than they’re used to but I ignored the pain. “Okay, I think I can figure it out from here.” I collected my stuff. “Thank you for this. It helped more than you could ever imagine.”

He abruptly stood up as well, clearing his throat. “You’re more than welcome, love. Let me know if you need any more help.”

We both go to our respective rooms for the remainder of the night. As soon as I got back to mine, I kicked myself. I actually walked away from kissing Tom freaking Hiddleston; someone I’ve been dying to know what it would be like for years. I could have had his lips against mine and I made the conscious decision to leave before it could happen. My pre-vacation self would have killed me if she saw who I’ve become.

I wrote down what played out, finding it was exactly right for the situation, but I couldn’t finish it. When I got to the kiss, I couldn’t bring myself to write it. I tried to watch a few of his kiss scenes but that didn’t help at all. None of them can describe what it’s like to kiss him. I want it to be authentic. Had I known that at the time, I might have let it happen for the story… or maybe not. I guess I won’t know.

day six...

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