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#barcelona imagine
barcaatthemoon · 1 month
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down for the count || barcelona x teen!reader ||
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you take a bad hit during a game.
some things weren't meant to be joked about. you knew that you could be a bit dramatic, often treating little things like they were big deals. you weren't sure when it had become funny to you to see the look of concern on your teammates' faces whenever you'd go down for a few seconds too long before they realized that you were fine. you knew that it wasn't really funny, but you liked having the knowledge that someone genuinely cared for you.
el classico matches were big deals, and jonatan made you promise to be on your best behavior if you wanted to start. mapi was out on injury, so she wouldn't be there to spur you on towards trouble. everybody seemed to understand the impact of this particular match, it was alexia's first el classico since her injury.
"good luck today, la reina." your tone was cheery and playful, usually something the girls knew meant trouble. however, you genuinely were trying to be on your best behavior. none of them mentioned it, but you could feel them watching you closely throughout the warm ups.
the game iself wasn't what you had expected. you had played in big matches before, where tensions were high and players tended to be a bit aggressive. several girls had nearly trucked through you, and the refs didn't seem to be paying much attention of any of it. you were getting frustrated, and the playfulness from before faded away. the girls were still watching you, but they weren't paying enough attention to notice the switch.
you took a shot that was knocked out of bounds by the keeper, resulting in a corner. you thought your position was good, near the goal, but a bit further away from defenders and misa. she had been putting in the work to block your shots, even going as far as complimenting you on your progress during half-time.
"it's up!" you shouted as you jumped up to head the ball in. you felt something collide with your stomach, knocking you backwards before you could hit the ball. your body was shot back a few feet. alexia had always nagged you about your positioning during corners, claiming that it tended to be in dangerous spots. as you flew backwards towards the goal post, you realized just what she meant.
your head hit the post with a sickening crack. it wasn't a thud, and you didn't move an inch. misa immediately moved to crouch down next to you. she didn't know what to do, but anger filled her as she realized that none of your teammates were coming over to check on you. they all assumed that you were faking it. it wasn't until you hadn't moved for a couple of minutes that any of them sprung into action.
ingrid was the first one by your side. she knelt down next to you and gently moved your head to see where it hit. a wave of nausea washed over her as she saw the blood dripping out from the back of your head. if it wasn't for the small, shallow breaths, ingrid would have thought you were dead.
"pequena, come on, wake up," ingrid pleaded with you. alexia was the next one by your side. it took every ounce of her strength not to just break down as she looked at you. "she's not moving alexia. i don't know what to do."
"we have to let them take her. she'll probably wake up at the hospital," alexia said. it was more for herself than ingrid. she didn't want to finish the game anymore. alexia didn't want to do anything until she knew that you were alright. there wasn't a player on the field who wasn't in some form of distress over what they saw happen to you. for a moment, the whole world seemed to care about you, but you weren't awake to see it.
it took nearly two days for you to stablize, and even longer for you to wake up. your parents had stopped by, but only briefly. they had been back in barcelona on business when the game was going on. it was a lucky break that they had been able to show up, despite the fact that you were their only child.
alexia was sickened by the way they dismissed you, even as you laid there in a coma. she may have been the most strict with you and always at her wit's end with your pranks, but alexia loved you. she wanted to protect you, and seeing you in the hospital bed killed her. still, she didn't let herself break down in fear that you'd wake up to see her like that.
"it's been nearly a week," lucy said as she glanced at your bed. "have they said anything?"
"the swelling in her brain is still going down. they've only just been able to go in and repair the damage to her skull. we're all lucky that she didn't hit her head in any other spot or she'd be dead," alexia said. she was just repeating what the doctor had rattled off in rapid spanish back to her english teammate. you had always been fond of lucy, and so lucy decided that she'd stay in your hospital room with you.
"she'll make it out of this, alexia. (y/n), she's a tough little brat," lucy said. alexia needed the reassurance almost as much as she needed you to wake up.
"thank you." alexia reached out to hold lucy's hand. it was as she started to pull hers out of yours that she felt movement. you tried to squeeze her hand and pull it back towards you as you stirred in your sleep. alexia didn't want to get too excited, but lucy shot straight up from her seat.
"(y/n), are you awake?" you heard lucy's voice, but it sounded muffled and a bit echoed. alexia leaned closer towards you as your eyes fluttered open. you let out a small groan at all of the bright lights and your body's sudden discomfort. your head hurt in a way that sent waves of pain all over your body.
"ale, i hurt," you whined. alexia had tried so hard to keep herself composed, and for the most part, it had worked. however, the moment that you looked at her with pain and confusion in your eyes, the dam broke. alexia's head shot down to rest against the side of your bed, but you could tell from the way that her body shook that she was crying. "ale?"
"it's okay, (y/n), she needs this. i'll be right back, okay? i have to get the doctors and call the team," lucy said. you nodded, obviously not going anywhere. lucy was back fairly quickly, and alexia was rushed outside as the doctors caught you up on what happened and ran a few tests. by the time that they were finished, the majority of the team had arrived and were all packed into your room.
"i am glad that you're okay," alexia said as she took your hand in hers. it had taken a couple of hours for the team to stop doting on you, but now things felt normal again. you felt like you were in the locker room, with the exception of alexia, who hadn't left your side. "you scared us all back there… including me. especially me, actually. i'm so sorry that i wasn't there sooner, i don't know what i would have done if you'd…"
"i'm fine, alexia, so you don't have to think like that. mapi's taking me back with her because my parents just left for america and won't be back for another six months. ingrid will be practically begging you for help supervising us," you said with a smile. alexia cracked a small one as well. she was a little fuzzy on the details of your relation to mapi, as was everybody, but the woman had always treated you like her little sister. all anybody needed to know was that you were her family, and all you needed to know was that mapi would always be there for you.
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sports-on-sundays · 21 days
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hello! i have a request for marc guiu where marc and reader have been best friends for a long time now and marc gets together with some girl but reader realises that the girl is just in it for the money and the clout and tries telling marc that but he thinks that she's jealous so he kind of distances her and their friendship is at strain (angst). in the end all is resolved and maybe marc and reader realise their feelings for each other? its completely fine if you dont wanna do it. thank you so much!!!
not right for you / Marc Guiu
Summary: Marc x best friend!female!reader
Warnings: heights, crying, censored cursing, being used in a relationship (not reader)
Requested?: Yes, thank you.
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You stare at the girl in judgment, taking her in. This girlfriend of Marc's, that he's been talking about a lot, excessively, for a few weeks now, finally stands before you. She has long, soft brown hair, falling down her back, perfectly done makeup, a chiseled face, long legs, a skinny frame, and, well, she's gorgeous.
Just being in her presence makes you feel insecure.
Marc has his hand practically glued to the small of her back as she shows you her million dollar perfect smile.
"I've heard lots about you," you say slowly. You really did mean it to sound friendly, but do have to admit that you sound more like a cowboy from a Western movie trying to pick a fight in some shady saloon.
Marc smiles and says, "I never stop talking about you, Olivia."
She giggles at this, and holds her hand out to shake yours. You nod and shake it, still not so sure about this girl.
You try to remind yourself to give her a chance and not just go by your initial gut feeling- but it's hard. It's hard not to read this book by her cover.
Simply because it seems she's putting a lot of effort into her cover- too much effort. Too much effort for it to not reflect her inner personality.
But! You mustn't make such judgments until you really know her, you remind yourself. Despite how hard it is not to.
Well, you thought maybe you would get all buddy-buddy with her to try and see if you can figure her out, but luckily, it looks like that won't be necessary. She's not the type of girl you think you would get alone with much, anyway.
Because Marc won't, shut, up, about, her.
"She's so sweet," he's going on now, "And, like, honestly, adorable." To you, she didn't look very adorable, and rather just super conventionally attractive. But not interesting or unique in anyway. Of course, you don't say this, as he continues with a boyish giggle, "The other day, she wanted to buy this watch and these earrings. So f*cking adorable the way she looked at me with her big puppy dog eyes. I couldn't resist her."
You nod slowly, taking this all in, and say sarcastically, "Sounds just adorable."
Marc doesn't seem to pick up on it. "And then, get this-" he says as he blushes more.
"Hmmm...?" you ask, unimpressed.
And then he goes on about how sweet she was to him. Showering him with compliments and saying he's the best boyfriend ever and blah, blah, blah.
This isn't the only time you've heard things about this girl. Always hungry for the camera type, won't take no for an answer type, pulls being stubborn off as being cute type, whines to her boyfriend until he says 'yes' type. Type you don't like, and the type you reckon isn't the best for Marc, either.
He talks about how happy he is to be able to make her happy and comfortable, since he's playing professional football now, but you've figured out that this girl is clearly just getting money and attention from him for her own good, and probably doesn't really care about him as a person. Not to mention, dating Marc Guiu- though he's certainly not the most well known footballer- makes you famous on some level, for sure.
Finally Marc seems to snap, "Why don't you like Olivia, anyway?"
You frown, hesitating, before saying, "Do you really want me to answer honestly?"
"Of course I do!"
"Well, alright. I'm concerned for you, because to me, it seems clear this girl only wants you for the money, clout, and attention, and doesn't really care about you as a person. I care about you as a person, so therefore, I want you to see you in a relationship with someone who does, too. I mean, you give her things all the time- what has she ever done for you?"
Marc doesn't seem very happy with this proclamation from you, understandably enough. "I don't know! Kisses me."
You snort ruefully at the dumb answer. "Ah, yes. Of course she does. She's got to keep you interested somehow, otherwise she'll lose all the money coming into her bank account. So she knows all she's got to do is keep you romantically, and possibly even sexually, pleased, and she won't stop getting what she wants. And it's easy for her to use you, because you're falling for her gorgeous looks and letting her. She's using you, clearly. I mean, it's clear to me."
"No, she's not," Marc snaps in annoyance, suddenly standing up. "You're just jealous."
"Jealous? Of what?"
"I don't know! Of her being pretty? Of her being my girlfriend?" He scoffs and walks to the door. "I'm leaving now."
You watch as the door shuts behind him.
So that means Marc doesn't think I'm pretty?
Of course he doesn't, Y/n. He has a girlfriend who's drop-dead beautiful.
And why would he think you'd be jealous of her being his girlfriend?
You don't want to be his girlfriend- at least you don't think so.
It makes you mad to think he would immediately assume your words came from a place of selfishness. They didn't. They're from a place of concern, for your best friend.
For your best friend, who now is avoiding you like the plague.
You haven't seen Marc in two months. You haven't heard him, either. You've only exchanged a few dry text conversations that really did nothing.
You stand up on the rooftop of your apartment building, staring out and down at the sparkling cities lights. Up here, fog has set in, and you feel a chill go through your body. You tighten your jacket around yourself, breathing in the scent of it.
You feel guilty for wearing this coat, though you don't know why.
It's actually Marc's. About a year ago, he left it at your house, and it became yours. When he saw you wearing it, his eyes had lightened up, so though he didn't say anything about it, you know he knew it was his.
And you know it's kind of gross, but you never washed it. You don't wear it often, and frankly, you love the smell of it. It reminds you of him.
And right now, you need to be reminded of him, since you haven't seen him in way too long.
You walk to the ledge and climb up on the barrier, sitting on the flat top of it, letting your legs dangle over.
You feel a little rush travel through your veins at this risky position, before your body calms itself again, and the melancholy feeling returns.
"No one can hear me up here," you say into the air.
"I could say whatever I want, and it wouldn't matter. It could all just get caught in this thick fog and float away. I could forget about it, and pretend it never happened, because no one else is here to hear it."
You let out a shaky breath.
"Marc, I could tell you everything. I could say whatever I want up here, and you wouldn't even know it. It wouldn't matter."
For some reason, at this, your voice cracks a little.
You say softer, "It wouldn't matter, would it?"
You breathe deeply gasping a bit down at the Barcelona street dozens of feet below you.
"Even if I screamed, no one would hear me!" you say, your voice raising.
And you do scream: "Marc! I'll bet my life I care about you more than she does! My life!"
You stare apologetically down.
I guess I'm in he perfect spot to lose that bet.
You feel hot tears threaten at your eyes as you continue, softer, "I want you to be happy.
"You're not happy with her.
"I bet you could be happy with me, Marc."
You sniff, not even sure what you're saying. You've never said things like this before.
But now, alone, knowing nothing you say really matters? It's easier to say things you never really knew you even thought.
"She's not good for you," you practically whine, rubbing at your eyes, getting warm salty liquid all down the back of your hand.
"You're my best friend," you whimper. "And now you're leaving me alone for some faker you just met a few months ago!
"I've known you for years!"
You scream, choking up a little, "Does that mean nothing to you?"
Not even your echo answers you.
You watch as a tear fall off your cheek, and down.
And down and down.
And at some point, it hits the street below.
The thought is surreal, and makes you feel a bit dizzy, even. You clutch the side of the ledge tighter.
Your knuckles are white as you call into the night, your tone lined with tears, "What if I told you I loved you? Would you even care?"
Your head spins. "Would you?"
You shut your eyes and let out a sob, feeling the lights and cars move below you, feeling alone, and separated from the world. Isolated.
But most of all, just very, very confused.
You thought you would be happy to see Marc again. But when you open your door to see him standing there, looking like a wreck, you're not happy.
Not one bit.
"What happened?" you ask as you view the boy with his red, puffy eyes and messy hair.
"Can I come in?"
You sigh, opening the door for him, but comment rudely, "So you only show up at my house, after ignoring me, basically, for two months, because something happened, and you need help?"
"Please, Y/n. That's not the only reason," he sighs, sitting down on your couch with you. You cross your arms, staring at him.
"Then, what?"
"I'm sorry. I realize you were right, now. All along. I was stupid."
"So she broke up with you, huh?"
"I broke up with her."
Your eyebrows shoot up. "What finally knocked you out of your delusions?"
He shrugs. "Your words never stopped bugging me, in the back of my head. Then she started pushing me for more. More, more, more. More money, more attention, more... well, things I wasn't comfortable with so early in our relationship."
You nod slowly. "Right..."
"So, I realized you were right. She's-" his voice breaks. "She's so f*cking greedy."
You lick your lips, still nodding, staring down at the floor.
"But I feel like it was wrong. She begged me to stay... she said she thought I loved her... But I've got to love myself, too, and she was draining me dry. Taking my- my everything."
You nod, finally softening. You put your arm around his back as he stares ahead. A single tear falls slowly down his cheek, before he hastily wipes it away with another sigh. "You did the right thing, Marc. You should have listened from the beginning, but I'm happy you realized it."
"What if I broke her heart, though?"
"That's her fault for getting into a relationship just to use someone! And besides," you add bitterly, "those were probably just crocodile tears."
"You... you think?"
You snort. "I know, Marc."
He hesitates, before saying, turning to look you in your eyes, "I'm sorry... for distancing myself from my best friend like that. I thought you were jealous. I should have taken you for your word."
You swallow back a lump in your throat. You put your hand on his and murmur, "It's okay... I forgive you."
"You- You do?"
You blink in surprise. "Of course I do, Marc. That's what friends are for. Friends will always be there, even when you walk away."
And then your breath hitches when suddenly, he pulls you into a tight hug, half pulling you onto his lap. His hand gently rubs your lower back, which gives you butterflies, and you're extremely aware of every point in which your bodies are touching. "Thank you so much, Y/n," he breathes.
You bury your head in his shoulder, murmuring, "You're welcome. I'm just glad to have my Marc back."
"Your Marc?" he grins, leaning back to meet your eyes. His deep, light brown, gentle eyes. "I like the sound of that. You know, being called yours."
You blush at that. "Only if I can be called yours, too."
He grins and mutters, "You'll always be my best friend first, Y/n. I know I just ended a relationship... but..."
"Oh, God," you squeak, eyes widening. "Are you-"
"I mean, if you-"
"Yeah, I could-"
"Good," he grins, pulling you back into the tight hug. You can feel his heart beating quickly against your chest. He leans his head against your shoulder and gives your neck a little kiss.
"So, you-" you breathe, "you love me- me back?"
His mouth smiles against your neck. "Yeah. I think I've known you long enough to say I love you."
You grin and trace the words into his back.
I love you.
"I'm glad you came around, Marc."
"I'm glad I came around, too, Y/n."
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slimthicksonnett · 1 year
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After Six Years (Alexia Putellas)
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Prompt from an anon who had a plan that I loved!
Word Count: 2,290
Warnings: Unedited
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International windows had been particularly tiring this year.
You blamed the travel mostly, dismissing comments about your mood and blaming it on the time differences and “this damn American air”. 
But you knew what it truly was.
While getting to play for your country was always an honor, it hurt your heart to think how much your partner would kill to do the same. 
“Would it kill you to smile? Just once?” Trinity poked, jabbing a finger playfully into your cheek as you scowled down at your breakfast.
Lifting your eyes, you couldn’t help the mischievous spark that ignited within you when you looked at the team’s wonder kid.
“Well it might not kill me, but you on the other hand…” You whispered in a low voice, leaning closer to her as her eyes widened and she fumbled backwards.
“Y/N, leave the kid alone.” Sonnett snipped, smacking you lightly on the back of the head as walked past your table to her seat beside Hatch who was struggling to hold in a laugh.
“What are you, her mother?” Rubbing the back of your head, you sent the defender a glare.
While you had only been joking, Sonnett seemed to consider your comment seriously before shrugging as she settled down to eat her fruit.
“Well someone has to be. And it obviously can’t be you now that you’ve been whisked away by your beloved to Barcelona.” She countered innocently, popping a grape into her mouth as you nearly choked on your oatmeal. 
“My what?!?!?” Sputtering in surprise you looked at her with wide eyes as a familiar cocky grin crossed her features.
“Your phone is ringing.” Sonnett simply stated.
Before you could even turn to grab your phone off the table where you had unknowingly left it face up, Sanchez was snatching it up.
“Estimada?!?” The young midfielder exclaimed as she read the contact name off your phone screen.
But you knew it wasn’t the name that would interest her for long. 
Not once she saw the picture behind it. 
It wasn’t something you had thought twice about making her contact photo when you had taken it. It was beautiful, simple, and secret. A picture that certainly surmised your relationship.
You had taken it on a lazy Sunday, something the two of you had found many of since her injury last July. Having been lounging in your apartment all afternoon, Alexia had migrated to the floor in front of the couch to roll out her legs. However, her touchy nature wouldn’t let her go far from you whenever she could help so she’d ended up sitting leaned back between your legs. 
It wasn’t a sight you were entirely unfamiliar with but the domesticity of that particular moment had warmed your heart. And of course you needed a memento of the moment so you’d snapped that picture quickly to immortalize it.
And immortalize it you had.
Because now many of your teammates had flocked to your phone and were peering desperately at the messy bun and exposed skin of the faceless woman.
Thankfully your former teammate came to your rescue as she plucked the phone out of an unsuspecting Sanchez’s hands.
“That’s enough.” Andi reprimanded as she placed the phone back in your hold. 
You didn’t stick around to hear the young players' complaints. 
Instead, you excused yourself as you answered the call.
“Bon dia estimada, et trobava a faltar.” 
You could hear her chucking on the other end of the line, knowing full and well that if you were daring to string together a sentence like that then your nosey teammates were surely close by.
“Sof! Translate!” Pinoe shouted, waving the other woman over frantically as you laughed.
“Do I look like I speak Catalan?” Sofia scoffed as she took a long sip of her coffee while she gave her teammate a pointed look.
“She did that on purpose! Dammit!” Sanchez cursed as she withheld a laugh of your own.
“Hey baby, I’ve missed you too.” Alexia practically purred, making your heart warm. 
“GUYS! SHE’S SMILING!” Frantically trying to draw the others attention, Trinity pointed at you as she jumped up and down in place.
But when they looked over, the team wasn’t greeted by your smile.
They were instead met with you holding your middle finger up at them as you walked out of the room to enjoy your phone call. 
As much as you loved your national team teammates and winning trophies, you were overjoyed to be back into Barcelona's welcoming arms. 
It was a bit later than expected when your flight in from Texas lands meaning that the girls were certainly already enjoying themselves at the gathering Alexia had planned in your absence. She had been insistent and you had been supportive, knowing what it meant to her to make sure that the other Spain players were kept busy during the break from league play. 
What you hadn’t quite accounted for was that this meant that when you were coming home, beaten up and bruised from the weeks of competition, that you’d be greeted by a houseful of mildly intoxicated Spaniards to contend with. 
“La Llama Blanca RETURNS!” Someone, you’re almost certain it’s María, as you let yourself in the front door.
“Wasn’t that locked?” Someone else, Sandra it seems from the shocked look on her face, questions at the same time.
You decided your goalkeeper was easier to contend with than the clearly intoxicated defender who hollered at you.
“Nope, you guys should probably be more careful about that.” You lied through your teeth, shrugging innocently as you set your bags down in the entryway. 
They had absolutely locked the door but you hadn’t bothered to put on a show by knocking, instead simply using your key to let yourself in.
But to them, this apartment was Alexia’s.
Not yours. 
So maybe they didn’t need to know that.
“Nice to have you back.” That voice you’d recognize anywhere greeted you. 
Looking up, Alexia wore a smile on her face but it was the blue hoodie she wore alongside it that caught your attention the most. The older woman held open her arms in greeting and you quickly forgot about the stolen article of clothing as you stepped into her embrace.
“Nice to be back.” Sighing deeply, you melted into her, letting your head bury in the crook of her neck for a moment.
After a while you stepped back, smiling at her softly as she stared down at you. With familiar ease, you fell into the process you normally followed when you got home. 
Shoes off, hair down, straight to the kitchen for your favorite mug and a cup of tea. 
“Sure knows how to make herself at home!” Patri giggled and you realized then that maybe you should’ve been a bit more careful before letting yourself relax.
“I’m just properly preparing myself to greet the rest of you losers!” You jabbed back, sticking your tongue out childishly as you placed the kettle on. 
“Missed us that much?” Marta teased, smiling at you with a level of knowingness that never failed to make you feel seen. 
“Actually yes, yes I did.” You admitted as you made your way out of the kitchen and over to hug your captain who happily accepted the affection.
“Oh come on, you know you were having fun getting your trophy!” Mapi teased as she wiggled her eyebrows to draw a tired laugh from you.
“I have plenty of trophies, María! Besides, I didn’t even keep the medal.” Joking back, you made your way back to the kitchen to finish making your cuppa.
“Maybe if you ask nicely, Ale will let you take one of hers as a replacement! I mean she’s got enough to give the whole team at least one, don’t you Capitana?” Claudia teased, causing Alexia to blush warmly as she stepped into the kitchen in an effort to partially obscure her embarrassment. 
“I do not.” She protested but earned a chorus of boos from the team.
“Come onnnnn, I bet you don’t even know what all of these are from!” Claudia doubled down, pointing at the trophies that lined the various shelfs of the apartment.
“I do too.” She pouted, and you barely restrained the urge to run over and hug her.
Instead you focused on pouring your water as the team decided to grill their captain on what trophy was from what.
“What about this one?” Patri pointed as you finally reentered the living room with your tea.
“Patricia. That is literally the Ballon d’Or.” Alexia deadpanned and the entire room burst into laughter.
“I knew that. I just didn’t know if you knew tha- wait. Is that an Olympic medal?” Patri interrupted herself, going from embarrassed to intrigued in a matter of seconds.
You, on the other hand, nearly dropped your cuppa. Your eyes widened, frantically flitting over to Alexia who also looked at least mildly alarmed through her carefully placed mask.
“IT IS!” The young midfielder explained as she reached out for it.
“Hey! Hands off!” Crossing the room, you gently smacked down Patri’s before she could reach your precious medal. 
“Oh? Is that yours, Y/N?” A tone of intrigue interjected and you turned to see an incredibly interested Mariona staring you down.
“Does anyone else in this room have a gold medal? Or any Olympic medal for that matter?” You challenged, looking across the room of suddenly embarrassed professional athletes. 
“No, we don’t. Which is why I’m sure everyone is curious as to how Alexia has one in her possession.” Sandra grinned, eyeing you carefully and you genuinely considered cutting all allegiances to the goalkeeper in that moment.
But, you were used to worst. You don’t win a GOLD medal at the age of 18 with the USWNT without having taken worse.
“Well that’s easy! Someone had to remind her that there’s some trophies she just won’t ever have.” You retorted sweetly.
The room stared with their jaws on the ground because no way did you just say that.
But you definitely did and you grinned successfully in getting them off your back. 
Or so you thought.
“Oh? Interesting! Is that the same reason she’s wearing a USA sweatshirt? Or maybe it’s the reason your boot bag and ID lanyard are hanging up by the door where you dropped off your bags.” Marta smiled even sweeter as she took a swig of her beer and you realized you’d just been beat at your own game.
“Oh shit.” Alexia whispered, snapping you back to reality as you burned with both embarrassment and maybe a little bit of anger.
After six years, that is what unraveled it all?
Your gold medal and a stupid Team USA sweatshirt?
“Marta Torrejón Moya!” You growled, launching yourself over the back of the couch and knocking the other woman to the ground. 
A surprised oof is all she let out before she laughed loudly and wrestled back, the two of you rolling across the apartment floor.
“Y/N!” Alexia reprimanded, crossing the room, effortlessly snatching you off the ground and away from Marta.
“Wait, so are you guys fucking?” 
“María!” Nearly the entire team shouted at once as Mapi just shrugged innocently.
“What? I’m just asking what we’re all thinking.” She defended as Alexia rolled her eyes.
“Yes, we’re fucking. Is that all you wanted to know?” The midfielder stated bluntly as she looked at her longtime friend with what might very well be distaste.
“Ale!” You hissed, cheeks sufficiently flushed by this point. 
“So when's the wedding lovebirds?” Patri teased as the whole room laughed and you looked over at Alexia for help but she just shrugged again.
“After the World Cup. Depends on how long her Victory Tour takes.” 
And that sufficiently silenced the entire room.
“Wait, what?” Patri gasped and the whole room seemed to echo the sentiment. 
Still mildly dumbstruck you nodded at Alexia who was looking at you for permission to explain further as it was the only answer you could provide.
You really weren’t expecting this to be how your night went. 
“We’ve been dating for six years, well before she even came to Barcelona. We got engaged before the Euros which I had intended to win for her like she won the World Cup for me but I suppose the world had other plans. And I already told you when the wedding is and yes you’ll all be invited. Now, anymore questions?”
And the room burst into chatter. Everyone overlapping. A million words and your head felt like it was going to combust.
“ENOUGH!” You yelled, and everyone listened. The room went silent for you.
“Enough. This wasn’t meant to happen tonight so can I please propose we talk about my proposal later? Tonight I would really like to take my promesa to bed. It’s been a very long month.” 
And they listened again. 
Slowly the team stood up, still clearly processing the information they’d just been given, and gathered their things to go. They all came up individually, offering hugs and congratulations and little teases and promises to talk about it all later. And you felt the warmth of it all right in your heart.
But you did still feel a very sweet relief when the last of them had filed out of your doorway. 
“I told you we should’ve put the medal in the bedroom.” You sighed, looked over at her in a mix of adoration and exhaustion. 
“And you were right as always. But right now the only thing I want in our bedroom is you.” Alexia smiled softly, holding out her hand. 
And just like every other time before, you took it and let her lead you away.
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skipper1331 · 23 days
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Secret // Alexia Putellas
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| Part 2 | Part 3 | Part 4 |
Everybody knew that Alexia was a private person - she only shared the information she wanted to share as she was very selective in her choice of words and very careful about whom she told what.
And even though that facade dropped around her friends and family, she still kept you a secret - she preferred it that way - having you to herself and not having to deal with headlines like 'Alexia Putellas dating her Barcelona teammate.' and the drama that it could cause.
Whenever it was just the two of you she was the sweetest girl, treating you like a princess and being totally in love with you while when other people were around, she kept her distance, acted strictly professional and didn‘t show any signs of affection.
The only person who knew about you was her sister, Alba and she only found out by accident.
-
"mi amor, you‘re so beautiful" the midfielder admired, kissing along your jaw, "I can‘t get enough of you" she found her way down to your neck, completely lost in the feeling of you before a certain spot on your neck caught her attention where she gently created reddish marks.
Just because nobody knew about you, didn’t mean that it would stop Alexia from silently claiming you.
Her fingertips ran along your exposed skin as your shirt had riddled up, leaving the midfielder craving for more.
The Barcelona player continued to mumble sweet nothings, planting some last even sweeter kisses on your neck before she reached up to your lips, kissing them with every ounce of love. Alexia always kissed you like that, letting you know that you caused the butterflies in her stomach.
Tugging on your shirt, she signaled that she wanted it off. Happily obeying, you took it off, her hands now wandering around your bare upper body as she was back kissing you with so much passion and love.
"Ale- do you know what-" both of you froze at the same time, your girlfriend shielding your exposed body as her sister stood in the door frame, "oh my gosh, I’m so sorry!" she covered eyes, rushing out of the room and slamming the door shut.
"mierda!" Ale was off of you in an instant, throwing your shirt back to you.
"I‘m Alba!" the younger Putellas called threw the door, "we haven‘t meet yet. I‘m her sister!"
You chuckled - wrong move as Alexia glared at you, marching out of her bedroom.
"Do you ever knock?!" she said angrily, pulling her sister away, giving you the time you needed.
"I thought you were asleep! You didn‘t open the front door when I knocked" the sister defended herself in their mother tongue.
Alexia huffed, pinching the bridge of her nose, "so, who‘s she?" Alba asked.
Perfectly timed, you exited the bedroom, walking towards the sisters in the living room, "I’m Y/N" you smiled nicely, offering your hand.
"Alba" she introduced herself once again, returning your smile and shaking your hand.
"She‘s my girlfriend" the midfielder huffed, annoyed that her little sister caught you, "20€ if you don‘t tell anyone about it" the older one said.
She would pay money to keep you a secret? Don‘t get me wrong, you didn‘t want to be public as you loved the privacy both of you had as individuals and together but you did hope for that she would at least tell your friends and family. All you wanted was to hold her hand and not to worry about standing too close to her.
The sparkle in your eyes died down, feeling stings in your heart but nonetheless respecting Alexia‘s wishes.
"I don‘t need your money" Alba stated when she saw the way your face fell, "you could have just said please."
You felt more than rejected in that moment.
"You won‘t tell anybody about this" she ordered this time now, her jaw clenched and voice firm - captains order.
Alba walked towards the door, "I‘m going to the car, mamá is waiting. Hurry up" before she left, only Alexia and you left in her apartment.
"I‘m sorry amor, I forgot that we were having lunch together." the midfielder explained, not knowing nor realizing that her behavior had hurt you as she was just apologizing for the incident of Alba walking in.
"You can stay if you‘d like" she smiled, putting on her shoes.
After she had laced her last shoe, she pulled you in by your hips, kissing you good bye, getting a bit carried as the feeling of your lips locked was addicting.
-
You loved being Alexia‘s girlfriend but you didn‘t like being her secret.
To be honest, it didn‘t bother you at first but after 6 months, you started to think about at least telling your family (officially you hadn‘t even met Alba before) and friends but every time you proposed the idea of it, she got defensive and annoyed, so you didn‘t bring it up again.
After one year, you slowly started to think that maybe she was ashamed of being seen with you, just being with you or of you as her behavior got more and more secretive day by day - she didn‘t even act like your friend in training.
You didn‘t know where it was coming from because whenever you were behind closed doors, she was the most affectionate person who loved to cook for you or just sharing the same air made her heart and brain go love sick. She was indeed very much in love with you yet afraid to show this love outside of either of your apartments.
Sometimes you wished that she would take you out for dinner - it didn‘t have to be fancy at all, McDonalds would be simply enough - you just wanted to experience a date night.
And even though, she made home as romantic as possible, it wasn’t enough anymore. You craved for more.
Sometimes when you saw Ingrid and Mapi openly in love, you felt jealous. You wanted that too.
They were your friends and you were so happy for them as they matched each other perfectly but you couldn’t help but feel envy. You envied what they have, imagining how it would feel like with Alexia - hoping to have that with Alexia, one day.
-
"Do you want to go out tonight? Frido told me about this new restaurant!" you said smiling.
The midfielder looked up from her notebook, pausing the tv as she replayed Chelsea’s matches (the club Barcelona would face in the uwcl semi finals)
"Is it takeout?" she asked.
You shook your head - no. "We can go out" you tried again, flopping next to her on the couch.
"Amor!" she grumbled as all her notes fell to the ground, now not sorted anymore.
"Sorry"
"I‘m preparing for our upcoming matches, you should join me in fact, so you know how Chelsea will play. We can order takeout - you know I don‘t like going out with you" she sorted through her notes, grumbling and huffing at the non existing order. She hadn‘t realized that her words were harsh and in fact rude.
You got the message - she didn’t like going out(side) with you, she had made that very clear.
"I can get you some food from there tomorrow" she added, her voice gentle and the wrinkle between her brows gone as her notes were back in the correct order.
It didn‘t help though, you felt hurt. Was it that bad to be seen with you? You‘re a Barcelona player, her teammate - and friends get food together all the time, so why can‘t you get food together as friends? Nobody would suspect that the two of you were more than friends, right?
"Are you hungry? Do you want me to cook something for you, mi amor?"
Again, you shook your head, scrolling through your phone while you acted tough and unbothered by her comment as she didn‘t even notice how harsh her words had sounded before.
You sent a message in the group chat with Ingrid and Frido, asking if they wanted to try out the restaurant which the Swedish woman had discovered. Both of them agreed within seconds.
-
The two of you laid in bed, Alexia‘s arms wrapped around you as she whispered sweet nothings in your ear. It became a routine for Alexia to lull you to sleep while tracing patterns along your skin. She loved doing so and she loved watching you sleep - you looked at peace.
Something about tonight was different though. Normally, it wouldn’t take long for the captain to soothe you to sleep but after 30 minutes, you still were awake, mind seemingly not finding any rest.
"¿Qué pasa?" she whispered in the dark, gently pressing a kiss to the exposed skin on your shoulder.
"It‘s been over a year, Ale, when will you introduce me as your girlfriend? Or take me out on a date that isn’t in here?" your voice was almost inaudible. You knew it was a sensitive topic for Alexia, the girl always denying your requests on telling someone and shutting you out after the conversation and also avoiding you for the rest of the day. "Amor.. we‘ve talked about this" she said, pulling her hands off your body.
Coldness hit your body while the parts were her hands had rested burnt down.
You turned around, looking at her, the moonlight the only light source "all I’m asking is for some recognition." you admitted, almost pleading for her attention outside of either of your homes.
"But I see you. I see you in training and after training, why is it so important to you that people now? We won‘t have any privacy!" her voice raising slightly.
"Alexia… this has nothing to do with the media. I want to meet your family! Or go on a date and wear very nice clothes. Is that too much to ask for?"
"You‘re right. Lo siento, amor" her hands cupped your cheeks, resting her forehead against yours, "I‘ll try to be better"
-
Over the next few months, Alexia’s home started to become your least favourite place - you felt like you were trapped in a cage.
Nothing had changed.
She loved you behind closed doors while she couldn’t even look at you in training.
Each day that passed, more of your heart broke. Your motivation faded - football was your work and no longer a passion.
And Alexia could tell. Your passes were sloppy and your tackles were harsh.
As soon as you had arrived in her apartment, she began complaining about your attitude.
You were not having it.
You started yelling at each other, rude comments leaving both of your mouths,
"You promised me!" you shouted, all hidden anger and hurt discovering the surface, "you promised me and nothing has changed! I‘m your dirty little secret!" you spat.
"Alba knows about you, isn’t that enough?!"
"You offered her fucking money to keep her mouth shut!"
"What do you want?!"
"I can‘t do this anymore, Alexia. I don’t want to think about whether my girlfriend is ashamed of me or not."
"What are you talking about- amor?"
"I‘m worth more than that."
"Please- give me a chance"
"I did, Ale, more than once" you walked towards the front door, bending down to put on your shoes.
The captain followed, so overwhelmed by what was happening that her persona took some turns, "If you walk out that door, we‘re done!"
your hand was resting on the doorknob, ready to leave.
You looked at her, "Behind that door, we never existed anyway."
And with that being said, you left.
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girlgenius1111 · 9 days
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contact
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r has never been one for physical contact. she doesn't realize what she's missing until she does. barça x touch starved reader
-------
Your teammates had figured it out pretty early on. You didn’t like to be touched. It wasn’t personal, and it wasn’t something you really liked to acknowledge. It was obvious, though, in the way you tensed up whenever anyone went to hug you, or the way you sidestepped the bulk of the celebrations on the pitch. You didn’t like physical contact, and that was fine. Your teammates could respect it, even if it wasn’t what they were used to at all. The majority of them were Spanish, after all. 
It never occurred to anyone that perhaps you didn’t dislike physical contact, you just weren’t used to it. At all. You’d grown up in an incredibly not affectionate household. Your parents didn’t hug you, and you never learned anything different from that. It was hardly your only issue with them, and it didn’t even occur to you to consider it an issue. 
You’d felt like this your whole life. You thought everyone did. You thought everyone felt this empty space inside of them, longing for something you just couldn’t quite put your finger on. You ignored the way that the infrequent pats on the back and high fives seemed to frustrate this part of you more. You decided it was a negative reaction to touch, rather than one that begged for more. 
Like everyone, though, you had a breaking point. And you’d been approaching it for a long time. 
------
It wasn’t enough that you’d had an international break from hell, losing both matches despite you running yourself into the ground for a win. 
It wasn’t enough that you had to see your parents over the break. It wasn’t enough that they were uncaring and dismissive of everything you said, that they treated seeing you like an obligation rather than something they were excited about. 
It had been a long couple weeks, to say the least. And yet, everything you’d dealt with apparently wasn’t enough. 
As the defender plowed into you again, you wondered what you’d done to deserve this. No one had left you alone today. You’d been violently tackled, shoved, pulled, and stepped on more times than you could count today and you were at your limit. Everyone could see it, too, in the way you robotically got to your feet, blinking hard, trying to brush off this blow too. 
You missed Jona’s eyes on you, and the looks he exchanged with his coaching staff. You were supposed to play the full 90, and it was only the 70th minute. It was clear, though, that you couldn’t take any more battering, not that you’d ever admit that. 
When you heard the whistle signaling the subs were allowed to come on, you looked over, a bit surprised to see your number on the screen. You should have been relieved, probably, but you couldn’t help but feel like you were letting the team down. You jogged off, accepting the high fives Mariona offered you, though you ignored the way the contact almost brought you to tears right there. 
You walked over to Jona, as he’d called you over, even though you wanted nothing more than to disappear into the locker room and have a few minutes to yourself. 
“Are you okay?” He asked kindly. “Do you need to get checked out?” 
“No, I’m fine. Just a bit sore.” You dismissed. 
Jona sent you a sympathetic smile. “You can head back in if you want. Let someone know if you need ice.” 
With that, you turned towards the locker room and headed inside. The next hour was something of a blur. You showered and got dressed, before heading out to the bus. You were quick enough that you didn’t have to interact with any of your teammates, and theoretically, you could have let yourself have a few moments. Something inside of you wouldn’t allow that, though. You were forcing yourself not to cry on instinct, but the more you sat by yourself, the worse you felt. About yourself, about how you’d been playing. Everything. It was overwhelming, and the minutes sped by until it could have been minutes or hours. You didn’t really care how long it had been. You just wanted to go home, so you could feel what you needed to feel, all by yourself, like you were supposed to. 
-------
You were too wrapped up in your thoughts, and trying not to cry, to notice that your teammates had started to file onto the bus. Esmee headed for you, both of you preferring to sit in silence on the way back from matches, while some of your teammates preferred to be a bit louder. As she got closer, though, she noticed the way you were sitting, all curled into yourself, practically a ball in your seat, and the way your entire body seemed tense. You were good friends, you and Esmee, but the girl felt wholly unequipped to deal with how upset you seemed. Thinking for a minute, she decided someone else would be able to deal with this better, so she turned around, ignoring the odd looks she got from everyone she’d passed on her way back to you. 
Esmee was still rather shy with the older girls, although they’d been nothing but nice to her. Even though she felt a little awkward, she walked right over to where Alexia was sitting, chatting quietly with Patri. 
“Alexia?” She said quietly, not wanting to interrupt the question but not really sure that she had any other choice. 
The captain turned to her, though, always a bit amused by how nervous she made Esmee, but always careful to not make her feel bad about it. “Hola Esmee.” Alexia greeted with a smile. 
“Hola,” Esmee replied. She looked back at you anxiously, and followed her gaze, sitting up a bit in the seat to look back at you, too. “Um… something isn’t right with her. She seems really upset. I didn’t really know…” 
Alexia’s brows furrowed, mentally cursing herself for not thinking to check on you before now. The team had noticed how tense and off you’d seemed after the international break, but they thought you’d relax after a game back with the team. Clearly not. 
“Thank you, Esmee, I’ll check on her, vale?” 
Esmee nodded gratefully, stepping aside to let Alexia out of her seat, taking an empty one across the aisle. She appreciated that Patri gave her a quiet compliment on the game she’d had, before pulling out her phone, and allowing Esmee the silence that the Spaniard knew she always sought after a match. 
-------
You were still completely oblivious, starting to get a little worried that you were going to cry right there on that bus, as opposed to once you’d arrived home, like you wanted. Crying in front of your teammates was the last thing you wanted to do, but you knew you weren’t going to be able to avoid it when Alexia slid into the seat next to you. 
“Pequeña? What’s going on?” Alexia asked softly, noticing the way you refused to meet her eyes, your gaze fixed on your hands fidgeting in your lap. 
You shrugged, for a minute unable to speak in fear that a sob would escape instead of words. “Long day.” You managed eventually. 
Alexia nodded slowly. “Long couple weeks, no?” 
“Yeah.” You said, clearing your throat as your voice cracked rather pathetically. 
“Can I do anything?” Alexia asked almost helplessly. You looked so upset, so fragile, and she wasn’t sure how to help without touching you. She knew she always liked a hug after a rough day, but you were so different, and normally shied away from contact like that. 
“I don’t know.” You said, wiping roughly at your face as a few tears escaped, the kindness from your captain not helping you keep it together. You wanted her to be able to help, but you weren’t confident she’d be able to. 
“Do you want some space?” Alexia asked, even if the idea of leaving you alone like this made her want to cry herself. 
You were used to dealing with your emotions yourself, but somehow, at the moment, you weren’t really embarrassed that Alexia was seeing you like this. You weren’t quite sure what you wanted, but you knew you didn’t want her to go. “No, please stay.” 
“Nena… can I give you a hug?” Alexia asked after a minute, in a way that made it clear she wouldn’t be upset no matter how you responded. 
What did you have to lose at this point? You were pretty sure you couldn’t feel worse. So, for once, you did the opposite of what you thought you should do, and nodded hesitantly. 
It was instinctual for Alexia, and surprisingly for you, too. You were tense for just a second when she wrapped her arms around you, gently pulling you in closer to her. After a second, though, your body seemed to move of its own accord, completely melting into the arms of your captain. 
You were crying before you could stop yourself, clinging tightly onto Alexia’s sweatshirt. It wasn’t bad crying, per say. It was cathartic. You thought briefly that this was the safest and most comforted you’d ever felt. Still, you tried to keep the volume down, not wanting to attract attention to the fact that you were sobbing into your captain’s sweatshirt. 
“It’s okay, nena, just let it out.” Alexia whispered, her chin resting on top of your head. She rubbed your back softly, hating the way you trembled against her. She’d never seen you this upset before, but the way you leaned into her told her that this had been coming for a while. It also told her that even though you acted like you hated being touched, that wasn’t the case. She wasn’t sure why you didn’t allow it to happen, but it was clear you had needed it. “You are safe, nena. You are okay.” 
Her words felt like a soft blanket being wrapped around your shivering body, and you felt that empty space inside yourself feel full for the first time in a long time. Maybe ever. 
It made her heart hurt that she hadn’t thought to check on you, really check on you these past couple weeks. She had assumed that because you never talked about how you were feeling, you didn’t need to. She’d never considered that you did want to, and need to, but you were too afraid to do so. She made herself a promise to keep a closer eye on you. And to give you more hugs. 
Even when you’d stopped crying, and the bus had begun to move, Alexia didn’t let go. She kept you firmly in her arms, your head resting on her chest. You couldn’t bring yourself to pull away, either, even though you knew you should. 
You couldn’t help but feel sad when the bus pulled into the Barça parking lot. You’d acted completely ridiculously, and something like this could never happen again. You weren’t a child, you were an adult. The thought of removing yourself from your captain’s arms, though, felt physically painful, and you almost wished it hadn’t happened in the first place. Because now you knew what you were missing, and it would be near impossible to not let yourself seek it out again in the future. 
------
You showed up to the recovery session the next day on a mission. You were going to apologize to Alexia for what had happened yesterday, and promise that it wouldn’t happen again. You weren’t going to cry and you were not going to act any differently than normal. You couldn’t let anyone see you as this pathetic person who was barely hanging on. You were strong and capable and independent. You were an adult, and emotions were to be felt by yourself. Hugs were for children, you reminded yourself, and you hadn’t needed one of those in a while. Or maybe, you just hadn’t gotten one in a while. Regardless,  by the end of today, you were dead set on making sure everyone who saw you so upset yesterday would know that it was a one time occurrence. 
Alexia had other plans. You really should have given up immediately upon seeing the determination on her face when she pulled you aside right before the film review session, but you were stubborn if nothing else, and you tried to remain as cool and calm as you could. 
Even when she led you to one of the lounge areas, and took a seat on the couch next to you. Even when she squeezed your shoulder supportively, and all you wanted to do was launch yourself across the couch at her, and curl up against her like you had yesterday. You couldn’t. You couldn’t. 
“I wanted to check on you after yesterday,” Alexia said gently, as if she knew you wanted to avoid this conversation. It didn’t matter that your captain hadn’t seemed to mind yesterday, your behavior still wasn’t okay, not at all. 
“I’m sorry for how I acted. It won’t happen again.” You said stiffly, ignoring the sympathetic expression on Alexia’s face. It made her so sad that you felt you had to apologize for showing emotion. 
“You do not need to be sorry.” Alexia said definitively. “You were upset, it is okay to be upset, pequeña.” 
“I shouldn’t have cried in front of everyone, and I shouldn’t have made you sit with me.” You insisted. 
The older woman frowned. “Why do you think either of those things were not okay?” Alexia wondered, choosing her words very carefully. 
“I am an adult, Alexia, I am not supposed to act like a child.” You argued, not really sure what she wasn’t understanding. 
Alexia knew she wasn’t the most emotionally available person, but she at least knew that it was okay to cry, and it was okay to need comfort sometimes. She wasn’t really sure why you didn’t seem to get that. 
“I do not know who told you that crying and needing comfort is for children, but they are wrong. You can always come to me, or any of the girls, when you are upset, no matter what you need. None of us will think any less of you. We are teammates, and friends, and we are here for you. Understand?” 
You were surprised at her words, and more surprised that they made sense. You knew who had told you those things, and you wondered why you had believed them on this, when you were normally so careful to take what they said with a grain of salt. Very suddenly, you realized you couldn’t remember the last time your parents had given you a hug, and things started to make more sense. It wasn’t an uncommon thing for you, realizing that something they had done was not normal, but this was a realization that made you a bit more emotional than the others. 
“Are you sure? I don’t want to annoy anyone.” You replied quietly, looking down at your feet and away from Alexia’s kind eyes. 
Your captain shook her head firmly. “You could never annoy us.” 
Slowly, you nodded, accepting Alexia’s outstretched hand as she stood up and pulled you to your feet as well. 
You moved to walk back to the media room, but Alexia pulled you back, a small smile on her face. “Hug?” She asked, opening her arms for you. “It has been a stressful day. One of my teammates does not understand how much we all love her and it makes me very sad.” 
You rolled your eyes, feeling something deeply happy and hopeful bloom inside of you. You accepted the hug, falling into Alexia’s arms, squeezing her tightly. “She knows. I think she just forgets sometimes.” You murmured, your voice muffled in Alexia’s training top. 
“Well, we will just have to remind her then, yes?” Alexia said, voice filled with determination. 
And remind you, they did.
------
Their reminders, often unspoken squeezes of the shoulder and encouraging words, worked well. It wasn’t an immediate change, but rather a slow one. There were signs that you were opening up more. Everyone felt an inexplicable sense of pride when you did reach out to one of them, whether physically or more emotionally. 
The first time was when Mapi returned to training with the team for the first time. She had greeted everyone with a hug, turning to you and holding up her hands for high fives. She had long accepted that you didn’t like to be hugged, and she’d been relatively absent in the time that had begun to change. 
She was floored when you ignored her hands in favor of wrapping your arms around her in a tight hug. It only took a second before she was returning the gesture, though she looked in surprise towards Alexia, who just smiled back at her. Two big steps were taken that day, and Alexia wasn't sure she could pick which made her happier. You were sure that Mapi’s comeback was the highlight of the week for everyone, while Mapi was pretty sure your hugs brought good luck, because training went perfectly, for you two especially. Or maybe, the joy on both of your faces lit up the pitch, and made everyone play better. Happiness was odd like that, sometimes. Contagious and healing. Barça was a place of happiness, you decided. And of healing. 
------
i know a lot of you were excited about this one, so i hoped it lived up to your expectations :)
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outsideratheart · 25 days
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Healing (Alexia Putellas x reader)
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A/N: This took me a lot longer to finish than I hoped but it’s done. Grab a drink and get comfy because it’s a long one, in fact I think it’s my longest fic to date.
The world had its questions and you were well aware of the headlines.
Y/N Y/L/N quits football.
Where is Y/N Y/L/N? Here's what we know.
The best in the world has vanished.
If you find Y/N tell her Sarina is looking for her.
The last twelve months had been the hardest in your life. You thought you could prepare for it, that it would easier because you knew it was coming but that wasn't the case. The day it happened was the day your heart broke and as you buried her you knew you were burying part of yourself too.
You left the world speculating as to why you didn't extend your contract with Lyon, why you never signed for another club and more importantly people were wondering where you had disappeared to.
Both your club and country team mates knew about your personal life and the tragedy that happened shortly after the euros. 
You missed football, of course you did, but you also needed to take time away to process what had happened. A return date was never set but then the world cup happened. You watched your team mates cry after losing to Spain and you couldn't help but feel partially responsible. The game might have ended differently if you had played.
A decision had been made. It was time to return to the pitch. You had offers before and after the euros. The only question is what teams would still want you? 
The sun was setting in Barcelona as the team finished up a late training session. Most of the players stayed behind to take advantage of the free food given they knew once they got home they wouldn't have the energy to cook themselves.
“Lucy your phone is ringing” Ona shouts over to where the English defender is filling her plate. 
“Who is it?” Lucy replies. 
Ona’s face floods with guilt. Almost as if she shouldn’t be looking at the phone. This sparks interest of those around her but no one more than Keira who sees the name on the screen. 
“Y/N” Lucy all but ran back to table after hearing Keira say your name “is everything ok? Where are you? Yes I’m with Lucy. Before I hand you over promise me that you’re ok? Good” 
Keira hands over the phone and watches Lucy’s face as she tries to figure out why you called and what you are talking about. 
“Yes there are people around me. Ok, I’ll ask” 
When you hang up the phone Lucy does as you ask or at least she makes the first step. 
“Alexia” Lucy walks around to where the captain is sat with Mapi and Ingrid “Who would I talk about signing a new player?”
“It’s not our job to recruit players but if you know something that might help the club then tell me and I will ask” Alexia wasn’t stupid. She heard your name and now Lucy was asking this. It wasn’t a coincidence. 
“I can’t. This is a sensitive subject” 
“Vale. Talk to Jona and if he thinks the player is right for the club then he can set up a meeting” 
Alexia left the training facility that night thinking of you. You were at the peak of your career, many people considered you the best in the world and if she is being honest she thought you would win the Balon d’Or, not her. That night Alexia watched your highlights for hours, even the ones in the games against her. You really were a once in a generation player which makes it that much harder for Alexia to understand why you walked off the pitch at Wembley and hadn’t been seen on one since. 
The next day at training the energy felt different. Lucy and Keira had a sense of happiness that their team mates hadn’t seen before. They would gather around Lucy’s phone but then hide it when somebody came close to them. 
Jona came walking into the gym with Xavi Puig right behind him and called over both Keira and Lucy. A couple of players watch the conversation unfold and tried their hardest to read their lips.
“Ingrid, what are they saying?” Mapi nudges her girlfriend.
“They’re talking about Y/N Y/L/N” Alexia was stretching on the floor playing no part in the eavesdropping.
“How do you know?” Ingrid asks her.
“She called Lucy yesterday and then Lucy talked to me about the club signing a new player. I can’t know for sure but that’s what I think is going on”
A couple of days later you landed in Barcelona, greeted by the warm weather and your two England team mates who kept a low key appearance in the arrivals hall. You stop when you are a meter away them. You didn’t know what to do, you hadn’t seen them in almost a year. 
“Come here” Lucy throws her arms around you followed by Keira.
“We’re so happy to see you Y/N. We really have missed you” 
You remain quiet as you walk to the car. Both of them fill you in on what the team is like and you make sure to remind them that you haven’t officially signed yet.
“Jona mentioned that. You want a trial training session?”
“It’s the right thing to do” you didn’t want any special treatment. You wanted to earn the right to play for the club and not just be handed the contract.
“You could have not played football for 5 years and still run rings round all of us” Lucy knows you the most having played with her at both club and country. You were too humble in her eyes so she took it upon herself to remind you of your greatness from time to time.
“I never said I haven’t played football. That has been the thing to get me through the past 10 months” you didn’t mean to be a downer, in fact you didn’t know what you were saying until it was too late.
“How are you doing?” Keira asks from the front seat and you see Lucy eyeing you up in rear view mirror.
“Some days are harder than others and no day has been easy. She would be happy that I’m here though. She always said that if I didn’t go back to England then she’d want us to come here”
You couldn’t bring yourself to say her name. 
“She always did hate the french winters” Lucy laughs at the memories she shared with your wife.
Your mind goes back to just a couple of years ago. Lyon were playing at home and the weather was awful. You saw Natalia in the crowd shivering but still she cheered you on, she always was your biggest fan. Come rain or shine, your girl was in the audience. You hated the thought of playing without her being in the crowd but you also knew she wouldn’t want to give up your career.
“Y/N” Keira gently nudged your knee. It was obvious that you were taking a trip down memory lane and she didn’t want to scare you.
“Huh” you quickly wiped away a tear “Oh we’re here” you grabbed your backpack and jumped out of the car leaving them in the front not knowing what to do.
“Let’s leave her be. She knows we are here and will come to us when she’s ready”
You were in awe as you walked the halls of Joan Camper. The things the team has achieved were that of greatness. It was a club that created legacys and you found yourself feeling something that you hadn’t in a long time; excitement.
Lucy and Keira lead you to the locker room just as they were instructed to. The rest of the team were already out of the field which was part of the plan. There hanging in a corner locker was a training kit for you. You didn’t expect it and you definitely didn’t expect to have been given your number.
“You did this?” You ask the pair.
“Salma did. The team knows you called Lucy and when Salma heard to locker room rumours of you joining she insisted. Between us she is a big fan of yours, bigger than Luce”
“Not possible” the defender joked.
The boots were fastened and you were ready, well almost ready. There was one thing you wasn’t prepared for. You looked down at your necklace. It was a simple gold chain that held two rings: yours and Talia’s.
“I can’t do it” you slumped down in defeat and bury your face in your hands.
“Hey” Lucy crouches down in front of you “they let us wear jewellery for training, you can keep them on”
You walked out onto the field and all eyes fell on you. You felt like a spectacle and you hated the attention. They didn’t know the current version of you, they had only met the old Y/N so you channel her and introduce yourself to them during the next drinks break.
“I know some of us have met as opponents but this is different. I’m Y/N, it’s a pleasure to meet you all, I hope I can keep up” you make a joke hoping to avoid the elephant in the room.
“We’ll see about that. I’m Alexia” She is the first person to you.
“Lovely to meet you Alexia” 
It’s hard to explain the feeling when you’re playing football. It’s as if you mind switches off whilst also been completely focused. It take a few attempts to get into the rhythm that is Barcelona football but you catch on quickly. It comes as no shock to the rest of the team that you play in complete sync with Lucy and Keira. The two of them even stay back at the end to work with you on some movements that you weren’t pleased with.
Some players go shower but a few stay behind, albeit out of sight, and watch you. 
“She has a gift” Alexia says to nobody in particular.
“Nobody has seen her in over a year and this is how she is playing. Look, she is running rings around them. How is that possible?” Patri adds.
“Does anybody know where she was?” Pina asks the small group.
“No but I could ask Ingrid or Caro to ask Ada. They are best friends and surely you would tell your best friend where you are going” Mapi forms a plan in her head, one that she will soon find out to be a bad idea.
“Do it” Alexia tells the defender “We are a family here and if she joins us then we have a right to know where she has been”
When Barcelona posted a photo of you signing a contract on their socials the world went crazy. The media were relentless and the fans were quick to show their support for you even though some were skeptical about your sudden reappearance and new team. 
You ignored them for the most part as they had no idea what had happened. You fit into the team almost right away and was enjoying every game with Barcelona. You scored on your debut and had been involved in a goal every game since. Months had passed and much to your surprise you had only been asked about the missing year once or twice. 
Caro refused to ask Ada about you and Ingrid only did when her girlfriend became obsessed with finding out the truth. Ada’s answer was simple ‘I won’t tell you and if she doesn’t want you to know then you should respect her wishes’.
You remained a mystery though and for the most part the team seemed to forget about your missing year. 
When the second international window came that is when things changed and you felt like you made a friend. Mapi still wasn’t representing her country so she reached out and asked if you wanted to meet up for a coffee. 
Anybody could easily be intimidated by the blonde but you liked her. She had this energy that made you know accepting her invite was a no brainer. That and you had questions of your own. 
“How did you know?”
Mapi places down a a small coffee in a glass; a cortado. 
“I asked Keira what you ordered”
A comfortable silence took over as the two of you sipped on your coffees. You found it funny the way Mapi looked at you then her coffee and back to you again. You recognised the signs; you were making her nervous. Why though you had no idea.
You decide to make the first move and you get straight to the point much to the defender’s surprise.
“I spoke with Ada”
This got her attention. You had your suspicions but the look on her face confirmed it. Still, she played along.
“That’s nice. You’re very close, no?” Mapi tried her best to look innocent but you weren’t having any of it and the look on your face told her that.
“She had an interesting conversation with Ingrid. Do you happen to know anything about this?”
She did. You know she did. 
“No” you got a sheepish look from Mapi and you wondered if she knew how unconvincing she was being.
“I think you did. I think you got Ingrid to ask Ada about me”
“Lo siento”
“Here’s the thing I don’t understand. I know you all want to know, you’ve been whispering about me for months yet not one of you has come to me and asked me directly. You have been going behind my back trying to dig up information about a time that I clearly don’t want to talk about”
Mapi dips her head. She truly thought that her and the team were been careful but obviously not. 
“Maria, I want you to put yourself in my shoes. Would you want to talk about it with strangers when you barely talk to your best friends about it?”
The defender thinks about it for a moment. You had barely left Lucy and Keira’s side but she hadn’t really heard you talking, you were always listening to what they were saying and replying when necessary.
“It was bad wasn’t it?” She asks. 
“The worse year of my life” you confess and you can your throat close at the thought of the months in question.
“We are in jail?” 
You cannot help but chuckle at her words.
“No, I was not in jail”
“Did you kill somebody?”
“No, I did not kill anybody”
“So no crimes were committed?”
“Is that what you have all come up with? That I broke the law?” 
“Most of us, yes. Aitana think’s you were in the hospital because you were sick”
Her response came at the worst time possible. You spit your coffee out when you hear the midfielder’s suspicion. 
Technically she was right. You were in the hospital but you weren’t in the hospital.
“I wasn’t sick” 
“Clearly. Look at you, you’re huge. I mean you are big. No, you are strong”
“Calm down Mapi, I know what you mean. Thank you” 
The two of you stay in the cafe for another hour. You take this time just the two of you getting to know one another. You ask Mapi about her tattoos and she learn’s you have a few of your own which are hidden on your back. When she asks for their meaning you promise you will tell her the stories another time. 
You both walk to the metro station and by coincidence you end up of the same train. You get off before her and just before the door opens, Mapi grabs your hand.
“I’ll get them to stop. You don’t owe us an explanation, Y/N” 
“Thank you Maria” 
You’re not sure what the tattooed defender said but the whispers stopped or so you thought. They stopped whispering in front of you but little did you know the speculations were still going on behind your back. It is early in December when things come to a head and you snapped. 
“What do you mean she is staying Spain?” Alexia asked Salma. 
“That she is staying her in Barcelona. She said she might go to Valencia for a few days but that’s it” the forward wasn’t sure what to say or if she should have said anything at all.
“And you don’t think that is strange? This is woman who used to love England. The fans called her Queen of England, por dios. How can she be apart of this team if we know nothing about her. She is lying to us” Alexia ranted on and who knew how much longer she would have continued if not for Lucy interrupting her.
“Alexia, that is enough!” Lucy slams her fist on the locker before turning to her captain “She has come to this team and done nothing but good. She plays well for us and gives it her all on the pitch. Off it she makes the effort and yes sometimes she says no to things but isn’t that her right? You stand there as our captain but look at you, you’re nothing but a bully. I am ashamed to say i’m your team mate right now. That girl has been through hell these past couple of years and since coming here all you keep doing is reminding her of what has happened. You are obsessed with her. Look around, no one else is digging for information. No one is making her uncomfortable on a daily basis”
“She is lying to us. She won’t tell us where she was for over a year. She is hiding something and that isn’t fair on us” Alexia tried to defend her actions.
“Isn’t fair? Are you really that self centred? You have no right to talk about what is and is not fair. I don’t care if you are my captain, I won’t stand by you while you treat my best friend like she has done something wrong. You, Alexia, are a —“
“Lucy” The whole locker room turns upon hearing your voice “I have given up on Alexia, it’s time you do too”
“No! I won’t let her talk about you that way. You don’t deserve this”
“No I don’t but —“
“Y/N” Lucy begs you to let her fight you case.
“Walk away Lucy” 
A stare down takes place between you and Lucy. A few seconds later the defender grabs her stuff and leaves the room. To everyone else you are calm and collected but Keira recognises the look in your eye, you are furious.
“I want everyone to listen to me and listen good. My past is none of your business. To those who have let the obsession go, thank you. To those that haven’t” you look Alexia dead in the eye “I want nothing to do with you. I will remain civil on the pitch. Other than that I ask you to stay away from me. That’s if you can respect my wishes. I know it has been hard so far”
You quietly gather your things and try to ignore the multiple sets of eyes on you. With each second you can feel your chest getting tighter and you know it is only a matter second before you will no longer be able to control your breathing. You just needed to get out of there, away from prying eyes.
The hallway is the furthest you get. Your mind was filled of flashbacks, the moments that you tried so hard to bury. The past was not a pretty place, not the last year, but you know that it was only a matter of time before it came crashing down on you. 
“Y/N, are you ok?” Mapi and Ingrid are by your side, clearly the couple had left just after you.
“Natalia, she, she” 
Ingrid and Mapi shared a look, who was Natalia? They had never heard you mention a Natalia before. Both of them didn’t know what to do. Whilst you had become friends with the pair, they didn’t know you well enough to cope with this moment. 
Luckily for them Keira appears out of nowhere. The English woman clearly equipped with what to do.
“Get Lucy, now!” She whisper shouted and Ingrid goes running hoping to catch the defender before she leaves.
“Keira—Natalia”
“I know, I know. We can talk about her later if you want. Right now, I need to focus on me. Can you do that?” 
You nod your head as tears flow down your cheeks. 
“What happened?” Lucy rushes over to you.
“We found her on the floor. She kept talking about Natalia” 
“She told you?” Lucy asks shocked. She knew you wasn’t ready to tell them team but in a state of panic you might be let it slip.
“No. She only said her name” Mapi says. She couldn’t take her eyes off you. This wasn’t a panic attack, no she had seen one of those before. This was something much more intense.
A few minutes pass and Keira manages to keep your breathing under control but you’re still not ready to move. Lucy, Mapi and Ingrid stay close making sure to tell anyone who passes to keep moving.
“What is going on?” Alexia asks with concern, a concern that doesn’t reach Lucy in fact her asking is the worst thing she could have done.
“Get away from her” Lucy is up on her feet and pushing Alexia backwards. She would has fallen to the floor if not for the wall behind her “This is all your fault. You see this, you see her, this is what you have done to her”
“Lucy” you reach up and take her hand. The defender used her strength to pull you up. 
You, Lucy, Keira, Mapi and Ingrid walk towards the exit of the stadium.
“Y/N” Alexia’s voice is soft and it is only now that she realises she might have taken things too far.
You turn around to face the Catalonian. For the first time since arriving you make no effort to hide the pain you have felt on a daily basis.
“I want nothing to do with you Alexia”
A week had passed and Alexia started to worry about you more so than she wanted to let on. Lucy and Keira were visibly worried about you and kept an eye on you at all times. She was confused at how things got this bad. Yes, she knew that maybe things had been taken too far but you didn’t show rage, your energy radiated nothing. You were numb. The Barcelona captain had no idea how to make things right with you.
You wore a smile on your face in front of the cameras and fans but behind closed doors it’s liked you switched your emotions off. Alexia asked Mapi about you but it seemed that even her closest friend was on your side. The zaragozian and her girlfriend had become close with you since the incident and Alexia didn’t understand why.
One night she found herself knocking on Mapi’s door hoping to find out how things got so bad.
When the captain was let in there is an evident scowl on Ingrid’s face which Alexia did not expect. The Norwegian excuses herself stating that she needed to go to the supermarket.
“Mentiroso” Alexia says to herself.
“Watch it Alexia. She has her reasons” Mapi jumped to her girlfriend’s defence.
Mapi leads Alexia over to the kitchen table and gets a glass of water for the two of them.
“You’re here about Y/N, aren’t you?” her captain nods “I don’t know what to tell you. What happened in the locker room was bad Ale. We didn’t leave the stadium when you thought we did. Y/N used everything in her to make sure Lucy didn’t do something she would regret. I don’t know what happened during those months but whatever we think it is, it’s so much worse. I shouldn’t be telling you this but she kept mentioning Natalia, I don’t know who that is but I think something happened to her”
Alexia thought she felt guilty about the way things went down with the two of you but that failed in comparison to how she was feeling now. To think that you were grieving someone and her questions were it worse for you, well it made her feel ashamed. 
She knew that she hadn’t been the most welcoming. Yes, you and her got a long on the pitch and yes, you were ok at training but she hadn’t made the effort she should have to make you feel at home in Barcelona.
“I don’t know how to fix it Mapi. You know I like her, I think she is amazing—“
“You were her biggest fan” the blonde teased
“But what if I’ve ruined any chance for being friends with her? What if what I’ve done is undoable?” Alexia ignores Mapi comment seen as though she knows she cannot deny it.
Mapi was at a loss for words. She always has had her friend’s back but there was something about you which made her want to protect you and Alexia was someone that you needed protection from.
“You need to give her space Alexia. This week alone I have seen you walk towards her then walk away at least 6 times. Y/N even asked me why you were doing it. You’re making the girl feel uncomfortable” 
Alexia mentally scolded herself for her behaviour which in her defence she did not think anyone noticed. 
“So space?” Alexia asks.
“Space” Mapi confirmed.
Alexia found it hard at first because she wanted nothing more than to make things right with you but she did as suggested, she gave you space. She saw you start to come out of your shell a bit more as December rolled on. The day game before the Christmas break you were playing in Madrid and that is when Alexia heard you discussing your winter plans with Keira.
“Keira, that’s a sweet offer but I’m sure. I’m going to stay in Barcelona, it is my home now”
The Catalonian took a little comfort in knowing you had grown the love her city despite the hostile behaviour.
“Y/N, it’s Christmas. She would want you to be home for that” your friend asked.
“I don’t know if I can handle going back for Christmas. It would hurt too much”
It felt wrong for Alexia to eavesdrop on your conversation so she leaves out of respect.
“She wouldn’t want you to avoid England. The two of you spent years in France and both of you said coming home to England was your favourite thing to do”
“Keira, stop. It was our favourite thing. There is no more our, no us. It’s just me”
Keira could see your hands shaking. This is the first sign of your panic attack so she drops the subject. She does suggest you going away with them for new years and you said you would as long as it isn’t in the UK or France. 
The team had one last recovery session before the winter break and it’s safe to say when it was done everyone was more than happy to go home. You wished everyone a Merry Christmas and without knowing it, Alexia is included.
“Feliz Navidad Alexia, por tu y tu familia” 
“Gracias Y/N” 
To Alexia this was a gift in itself. Maybe you were opening up to idea of forgiving her. After that you quickly grab your stuff and run off to where Ingrid was waiting for you.
After that interaction, Alexia couldn’t stop thinking about you. She also thought she was hallucinating when she saw your name appear on her phone screen. In the rush of leaving the training facility you picked up the wrong bag, only realising when got home a few hours later and your shirt had an 11 on instead of a 7. You texted Alexia asking if you could meet up to get your stuff back. Alexia, at that point was already at her mother’s house so she sent you that address and told her mum that you were coming over.
You tried to ease your nervous as you drove to your captain’s mother’s house. It was going to be awkward, this much you knew but regardless of the place you and Alexia were in, you wanted to make a good impression on her family. 
The knock was gentle as you stop on the door step.
“Y/N, hola. Adelante”
You didn’t know that word meant but you put two and two together and guessing in meant come in so that is what you did. Eli leads you to the living room after telling Alba to go get her sister. Eli headed back into the kitchen and left you in the living room. You didn’t want to take a seat, it wasn’t that kind of visit so you looked around and a wall of photos gains your attention.
Alexia couldn’t have been more than 7 years old. She was adorable. Next to her stood her younger sister and behind her, her parents. You didn’t recognise the man so you assume Alexia’s father works away a lot as you have never seen him at a game.
“That’s Jaume, Alexia and Alba’s father” Your cheeks flush in embarrassment at being caught stooping.
“And your husband” you turn to face the woman “I haven’t seen him around, does he work in a different city?”
“Jaume passed away a little over ten years ago” 
She is a widow, like you. That is the first thing you thought. In that moment you had so many questions for her but this is a woman you had only just met. It’s not exactly the small talk she would be expecting. The two of you go quiet and you guess she is thinking about her lost love, just as you are thinking about yours.
Alexia comes downstairs, your bag in hand but stops at the door was upon seeing you in conversation with her mother. Alba nudges her forward but she doesn’t move. The two of them watch you.
“Does it ever get easier?” The question was out of your mouth before you could stop it.
The two sisters share a look. They had no idea what you were talking about and by their mother’s response, she didn’t either.
“Que?” As expected, the question catches Eli off guard.
“Living without the person who promised you forever” you turn to face the older woman with tears falling down your cheek.
“Oh Querida, come here” 
You feel comfort in her arms and for a brief few seconds you forget that she is a stranger. In this moment she is someone who understands your pain and that is more than enough for you. When you pull away you see Alexia and Alba, you feel extremely exposed.
“Hi. You must be Alba” you wipe the last of your tears and extend your hand towards the younger Putellas.
She swats away your hand and pulls you into a hug.
“So formal” Alba laughs “you’re even hotter in person” 
“Alba!” Both Eli and Alexia scold her.
“What? I’m being honest” 
“Thank you, I think. Is that mine?” You point the bad Alexia is holding.
“Yes. Sorry for the mix up” 
“No, no. It was my fault. I was running late for dinner with Ingrid. I left yours in the hall as I wasn’t sure where to put it”
Alexia stared at you almost as if frozen in place.
“Was I not suppose to do that? I can go get it for you”
“This is the most you’ve spoken to me since joining” Alexia was honest with what she was thinking.
“It must be the Christmas air” you laugh a little “speaking of, you three clearly have plans so I will leave you be” 
Eli tries to get you to stay but you can’t. The woman knew too much and even though shared the same pain, you knew it was only a matter of time before the pity eyes came. You also didn’t know how much the two sisters had heard.
Alexia asked and asked what the you and her mother were talking about but the woman refused to tell. The only answer Alexia got was to be careful with you and that not all is as it seems. It seemed to be enough for Alexia but she wasn’t giving up on you, not just yet.
She kept an eye on you over the Christmas break and just as you said you stayed in Barcelona. Alexia all but stalked your Instagram and even went as far as texting you some recommendations. You felt something towards the midfielder and it made you think that you might have been a little harsh on her. You made a mental reminder to speak to her once the break was over.
The first game back was away to Bilbao and it brought you the perfect opportunity to speak to Alexia as the two of you were roomed together. It was late by the time you got there so everyone went straight to their room. 
“Oh Y/N I don’t know what happened” Alexia says as she swiped the room key. 
“What are you — oh I see” 
There was only one bed, albeit a large double bed. 
You hadn’t shared a bed in almost a year and you wasn’t sure if you were ready for it. Now you had to find  a way to explain this to Alexia.
“I’ll sleep on the floor” Alexia suggests and even though you weren’t ready, you also knew you wasn’t going to let her do that.
“Alexia you are one of the most important players on the team. I cannot let you sleep on the floor. Take the bed, I’ll take the floor”
“Y/N, you are important too. You are our highest goal scorer. I am taking the floor, don’t argue with your captain”
She refused to take no for an answer and you hated it. When you came out the shower Alexia was on the floor and it looked awful. It was almost funny and you couldn’t help but chuckle.
“Don’t say anything. Bed” Alexia laughed along with you.
The room was dark except from the street lights then peaked through the curtains. Sleep wasn’t coming easy to you and by the sounds of tossing and turning, Alexia was struggling too. 
“Alexia, come sleep in the bed” The thought of having someone sleep next to you wasn’t something you necessarily wanted but Alexia sleeping on the floor wasn’t fair.
“I don’t want to make you feel uncomfortable” 
There was something in her tone. She wasn’t talking about sharing the bed with a team mate, she was talking about sharing a bed in general. 
“She told you” Eli had to have told alexia about your conversation. 
“Who?” Alexia asked even though she knew you were talking about her mother. 
“Your mother. She told you about what I said”
“I asked but she didn’t tell me anything. I’m sorry that something happened to your friend” 
You sat up upon hearing her condolences. 
“My friend. What are you talking about?” 
Alexia, now sat up too, looked at you as if saying you know what I’m talking about.
“Natalia?” 
She said her name. Nobody had said her name. They knew it would cause too much pain. 
In that moment you are brought back to the last time someone said her name. It was the 5 November 2023 in a hospice not to far from your shared home in London. Natalia was the strongest woman you knew and no one would ever come close to her in your eyes. Yet just after Euros she told you that her time was coming, that the cancer was starting to win. You begged her to fight, you weren’t ready to lose her but you knew that you had been on borrowed time for many many years. The last person to say her name was a nurse as your wife took her final breath before she was called home.
“She was my wife” you could feel your nose twitch as a ball of emotion built in your throat. You knew the day was coming when you talked about her but you didn’t think it would come in Bilbao with Alexia now sitting at the foot of your bed.
The Catalonian knew she heard you correctly but she still sat in disbelief. She had no idea you were dating anyone let alone you were married. Alexia could do nothing but watch as you bury your head in your hand as your body racks with sobs. She wants to hug you, to hold you and to tell you to let it out but you weren’t that close. 
When you aggressively wipe your eyes you notice Alexia looking prettified and you cannot help but burst of into a fit of giggles.
“I’m going to go get Lucy or Keira or anyone else who isn’t me” your captain panics and makes a bee line for the door. She is stopped in her tracks as your hand grabs her wrist.
“You don’t have to”
She didn’t believe you and that was made obvious as her eyes dart back and forward between you and the door. 
“Isn’t this what you have been wanting? To know why I walked away” you pat the side of the bed next to you.
You saw the hesitation is Alexia’s eyes. In that moment she wanted to respect your boundaries and you appreciated that but for the first time in a while the thought of talking about Natalia didn’t make you feel like you would break. 
Once she sat down you turn to face you and you saw the look many people had given you. She felt sorry for you. 
“I didn’t know you were married” 
“Not many people did. We never hid anything. If you look you’ll see her in a lot of photos, she always supported me” you get comfy knowing that this is going to be a long conversation “I’m a private person and all I ever wanted to do was protect her” 
In that moment Alexia understood for she too was a private person. She knew that she was in the limelight but she still kept herself to herself off the pitch. 
“How did she—“ Alexia stopped talking as soon as she realised what she was about to ask “sorry, I shouldn’t have said that” 
“Leukemia” you closed your eyes, took a deep breath and counted to three “she first got it when she was six. We used to take the day off school to go to the hospital. She would call me her emotional support friend” you laugh as you remember the way she made you wear a badge “she won the battle only for it to come back when she was 16 then again at 28. The third battle was the hardest for her and it was the one she lost” 
Alexia caught the way you couldn’t look at her whilst you talked about the hardest times of your wife’s life. 
“She sounds like a strong woman” 
“Oh she was the strongest. She went through so much yet you never would have known it. Natalia had this heart that was big enough to like up the whole world. I wouldn’t be where I am today without her. She supported me in the youths teams, was in the stands when I made my Arsenal debut and moved to France with me when I signed for Lyon. She said she’s followed me everywhere because she knew I’d be lost with her” 
When Alexia sees you laughing, she joins in too. 
“Things got bad just before the euros. I was so close to withdrawing but she begged me to go. She wanted to see me lift that trophy and I did, I did it for her. I didn’t know how bad it was until afterwards and I made the decision to be by her side. We did all the things on her bucket list. A couple of months later she couldn’t fight it anymore. Her strength was gone and the light was barely there. I was able to be by her side as she took her last breath” 
Alexia didn’t stop you as you got off the bed and made your way towards the window. She could tell by the way your hand went straight to your face that you were crying. 
“You wanted to know why I walked about?” You turned to face her and in that moment, knowing what she did, Alexia felt guilty. Guilty for reminding you of the loss you had suffered. 
“I walked away because I didn’t feel like I had a purpose. For so many years I played for her. I scored to see a smile on her face and I won my trophies so that I can give her my medals. I couldn’t return to Lyon without her and it felt wrong being in England” 
“Y/N I’m —“
“Don’t tell me you’re sorry. You didn’t kill her, the cancer did” 
You hated it when people told you they were sorry for your loss. Why? Why are they sorry? You heard it so many times that it made you numb. 
Alexia could tell that you were feeling a lot right now. She wanted to be there if you wanted to talk more about Natalia but she also knew the importance of changing the subject when it’s needed. 
“Can I ask you a question?” She looked at you with a sincere gaze.
“You can. Is it about Na—“ 
Alexia shakes her head.
“Why Barcelona?” 
It is a question that she had been desperate to know. You have now told her why you weren’t ready to go back to Lyon but plenty of teams would have offered you a contract if you announced your return.
“I said it wasn’t about her but turns out it was. Talia loved Spain and Barcelona was her favourite place. I honestly thought I would retire at Lyon but she always said that if she could pick a team I play for them she would choose Barcelona. When I decided to come back, it felt right to sign for Barcelona. Also, Lucy and Keira are here. As you have seen, I have depended on them quite a bit and I knew that it wouldn’t be easy so having someone who knew made everything easier”
You could see Alexia processing what you had told her. 
“I’m happy you don’t play for Lyon anymore”
“Yeah, you might be able to beat them now”
Alexia stared you down and you wondered what her next move would be. Turns out you didn’t have to wait long because a pillow soon smacked you in the face.
You both burst into laughter when the pillow fight turns competitive.
“We really should be getting some sleep” Alexia says as she stands.
You took a second to think. 
“You can sleep in the bed Alexia. I won’t freak out you know”
“Y/N I can’t. Not now”
“Oh stop. I’m not some fragile little doll that will break if she shares a bed with someone. Now get in bed” 
You pull the duvet back and pat the bed. It is only when Alexia gets in that you realise she is on your side and you are on Talia’s.
“You know this is my side of the bed” Alexia says as she gets comfy.
You had your reasons for sleeping on that side. You want to be closest to the door in case someone broke in. You wonder if Alexia has a reason.
“Got to make sure no one comes in and kidnaps you. Buenas noches Y/N” 
You fall asleep that night with ease. You no longer feel the weight of keeping your emotions at bay and having Alexia knowing the truth makes you feel at ease around her for the first time since you joined the club.
From that day on things were different between you and Alexia. You found yourself spending more time with her than you did with Lucy and Keira. The two of them found it strange but didn’t question it. Whilst the defender was still very much protective over you, she did see a change in her captain which lead to her giving her the benefit of the doubt. 
Life in Barcelona was finally what you imagined. Even in January the sun was shining and the sky was blue, unlike the weather you have been used to. The pain in your heart was still there but for the first time in a long whilst you felt happy or at least the closest thing to it that you could feel. Alexia has invited you to family dinner which happened after every other home game. Her mother and sister made you feel welcome. You had become rather close with Eli as she would often reach out to talk to you and check in with you. She didn’t need to say much, the fact that she could understand was more than enough. 
Alba was quite the character and there was never a dull moment with her. She would relentless tease her sister and it had you holding stomach with laughter.
You had received some calls that made you think about a few things. You thought about talking to Lucy and Keira about it but you knew their decision would be biased so you confided in Alexia one night as the two of you walked Nala along Barceloneta.  She helped you work though the feelings that the question brought up and by the the time you arrived back to your apartment, which you learnt was in the building opposite to hers, you knew what your decision would be. 
During the game against Atleti there was a certain Dutchwoman in attendance. It was the second to last game before the Nations league semi final, a game that England has got to by the skin of their teeth. Barcelona came away with a 2-0 win and a lot of the players stayed out on the pitch afterwards to greet the fans that came to support them.
Sarina stood near the locker room and praised the team as they entered. 
“Are you here for Lucy and Keira?” Aitana asked as she walked down the hall.
Behind her walked the two English women, along with Alexia. The latter knew to expect her, it made sense for her to come see you in person. The other two clearly had no idea that their national team coach was coming.
“She isn’t here for them” 
Alexia’s words cause Lucy and Keira’s heads to turn in surprise. 
“Y/N’s still out on the pitch. She is playing with Irene’s son Matteo, shall I go get her?”
“No, I can wait” 
Just as three of them were about to enter they hear your voice followed by a child’s laughter. You walked down the tunnel with Irene and her little boy. Sarina saw just how happy you were and for a brief moment she regretted coming. She questioned whether or not this is what is best for you.
“Gaffa” you saw the look on your team mates faces and chuckled. Surely they knew it was only a matter of time before Sarina came knocking “Let me get showered quickly and we will go” 
“But we’re going out tonight. It’s team night” Aitana sulked.
“I’ll meet you guys there” 
Alexia and you shared a look. She knew what this conversation was going to be about and she was pretty sure she knew what the outcome would be and she was worried. You squeezed her shoulder and smiled before going into the locker room.
It was over 3 hours later that you finally enter the restaurant that the team were eating at. 
All heads turned to you as you walked through the door. The seat reserved for you happened to be next to Alexia which you don’t think was an accident. Lucy and Keira were sat opposite you and you see the look of suspense in their eyes. They hadn’t officially been told what you and Sarina were talking about but they had very good guesses. 
The rest of the team were having their own conversations and you didn’t want to make a scene so you nodded your head and that was enough confirmation for them.
“Yes!!” Lucy stood up suddenly and slammed her hands on the table.
“Holy fuck. Lucia, sit down”  
Lucy does as her told.
“Our captain is back” Keira said to herself. 
You tried your best to include yourself in the conversations around you but your mind kept wandering. You found yourself staring off into the distance. It is only when you feel a gentle hand on your thigh do you realise just how spaced out you were.
“Is everything ok? Did your coach say something because if she did then—“
“Stand down Ale” Alexia’s eye soften at the nickname. It wasn’t a new one for her but you had only just started calling her it and she loved it “I’m just thinking is all. What if I’m not good enough? What if I don’t have a place in that team anymore?” You lean into her and whisper.
“Y/N, they are your team. Yes you took some time away but you lead them for a long time and you told me they knew your reasons. It might take some time to get back into things but you will soon be back to how you were before. Besides if things go well for both of us then we will have a World Cup rematch on our hands and I want to see what might have happened if you played in the summer” 
Oh you didn’t think about that. You hadn’t given your upcoming opponents a second thought. Alexia was right. If England beat France then they will face Spain in the national league final. 
You thought there might be some awkwardness when you walked through the doors at the England camp but you couldn’t have been more wrong. Each player welcomed you with open arms and the players that you didn’t know as much treated you like everyone else did.
There were a few moments when you got pulled aside by Sarina for what she called her mental health checks. She promised that nothing said between you would be told to anyone else and you chose to believe her. You were honest about how heavy the shirt felt when it had the England badge on and you told her of the nerves you were feeling about playing for your country again.
Alexia had kept texting you to check in and for the most part you told her the truth. It was the day before the match when you got overwhelmed and instead of lying, you chose to ignore her. You knew it wasn’t fair but wanted to stay focused. You could bury your feelings for 24 hours. Alexia on the other had wasn’t going to give up on you.
“Alexia” Jenni nudged her friends leg “Earth to Alexia” 
The woman in question had her eyes glued to the her phone as you sent you yet another message.
“What do you want!” Alexia snaps.
“Hey, don’t snap at me. Who you texting? Is it a girl?” Jenni peaked over her shoulder.
“No” Alexia pulled her phone closer to her chest “It’s Y/N”
“Y/N Y/L/N is a girl last time I checked” Jenni couldn’t help but tease.
“She but I don’t like her like that, well I do. Wait! I don’t” Alexia slumps down in her seat  “Oh Jenni, I don’t know how I feel”
Jenni hasn’t seen her friend like this in a long while. Normally Alexia knows what wants and isn’t afraid to go for it. This though is different. It’s almost like she knows what she wants but she is hesitating and Alexia doesn’t hesitate.
“It’s ok not to know but something is clearly bothering you. What is it?” 
“She is ignoring me”
“Last time I saw you you told me she didn’t want anything to do with you”
So much had changed since then and she didn’t know how to explain it. In the end she told her everything she could without going into the finer details. Alexia confesses her feelings and explains that she cannot get a hold of you and that none on your team mates were answering either.
“Alexia, I may not know why she stopped playing football but I saw the way she played, she loves the sport. Her playing for England again is a big deal. Everyone is talking about her press conference she did this morning, it’s all over social media” 
Alexia wasn’t aware of a press conference. She never goes on social media the day before a match because it is quite often a distraction. Jenni picks up on her friend’s obliviousness and gives alexia her phone so she can see what is being said.
Jenni was right. You are everywhere. 
Y/N Y/L/N makes her return but what does it mean? Why now?
Sarina Weigman confirm Y/N is the captain of this team despite turning her back on them.
Beth Mead ruled out for Semi final, should be back for final if England are successful.
World Cup rematch? Y/N says that Spain wouldn’t have won if she was playing.
Alexia read headline after headline, article after article. She was beginning to feel overwhelmed so she couldn’t imagine what you must have been feeling. The last headline made the Catalonian laugh because she too had thought about what the outcome might have been if you were playing.
“I think the last one is a stretch” Jenni mumbles.
“We will never know” Alexia is ever more determined to get a hold of you. Just as she was about to call you again, a message comes through.
Hi. Sorry I haven’t been around, it’s been a lot. Thank you for checking in on me Alexia, I promise you I’m ok. Good luck in your match tomorrow.
“She’s ok” Alexia tells Jenni as if the forward was the one who was worried about you.
The next day you wake up and are ridden with nerves. It’s not a familiar feeling and you know that you need to calm down before the game or things will end badly. 
Despite protests from your team mates, you will start the game on the bench. It’s the right decision and you make sure to tell Sarina just that. Whilst the team’s recent performances have been spotty to say the least, you refuse to walk back in like nothing had changed. You know you need to earn your place on the pitch with the lionesses.
Spain’s game has an early kick off and finishes just after yours starts. The team get back to the hotel and have organised to watch it the hotel bar. Much to Alexia’s dismay she is called for Media seen as though Spain won and have qualified for the Olympics. 
When she finally joins the team she knows that the first half is over but that’s it.
“What’s the score?” She asks anyone who is listening.
“2–0” Ona says.
“That’s—“ Alexia is cut off before she can finish her sentence.
“To Germany” Jenni knows that Alexia would have wanted England to win if for no other reason than you “Y/N is going on for Toone” 
She cannot help the smile that tugs at her lips as your number goes on the subs board. 
The world watches as Mary runs over to you and gives you the band.
“Welcome back skipper” Mary pushes the band up your arm before you can stop her because she know’s that is what you’ll do. She was there in the captain’s meeting when you told Sarina that you didn’t deserve the captaincy.
“Game on, Maz” 
It felt right being on the pitch and wearing the three lions crest. You allow yourself to take in your return but only for a couple of seconds before you turn your attention to the game and the challenge that you face. 3 goals was a lot to ask for when Germany are playing as good as they are. It wouldn’t be easy and it would take everything you had but you never shied away from a challenge and you wasn’t about to start now.
After about ten minutes you found your rhythm and England were playing the type of football they are known for. It doesn’t take long for LJ to make a run and dance around the opposition. You have faith in her but follow her anyways in case she loses the ball. She doesn’t but Frohms does save her shot, she doesn’t save your rebound though.
“Get the ball” You shout to the Chelsea player. 
When the match restarts, the lionesses are on the hunt. Shot after shot is taken but somehow the ball stays out the net. England get a corner in the 80 minute and you’re lurking on the edge of the box, ready to make your run. Popp is the one marking you because she has studied you new way of play since joining Barcelona. Chloe’s corner is pin point and no amount of research in the world could stop you from getting the second goal and tying the game.
Alexia finds herself up on her feet with Ona and a couple of your team mates when you get your brace.
“Vamos Y/N” she says.
“You do realise that we will face them if they win” Misa reminds her.
“Right now, I don’t care. She deserves this and I’m celebrating my team mate” Alexia didn’t care if she might face you in the final.
“She told you” Aitana whispers as she pulls her captain down to the sofa “That is why she doesn’t hate you anymore and why you’ve stopped interrogating her”
Alexia does nothing but nod. Her fellow midfielder didn’t need to know anything else and she doesn’t ask for it either. She accepts that the reason must be valid if Alexia has dropped her questions.
There are 4 minutes announced of stoppage time. 
When you look up the the score board and see the number you get flashbacks on the euros final. You have been in this position before and came out victorious. Today was going to be no different. 
It was huge mistake by Germany when Gwinn takes down Hemp about a meter outside the box.
In the past you have found yourself stood over the ball with Beth but this game it’s Alex who stands beside you.
With her hand over her mouth she gives you strict instructions.
“You’re taking it” 
It’s not a question and you don’t argue.
“You have saved us tonight, now get your hattrick”
The amount of faith Alex had in you did wonders but it didn’t settle every nerve running through your body. Free kicks were your specialty, this wasn’t nothing new and the pressure was a familiar feeling. 
As soon as you strike the ball you know it’s going in. It’s a hard feeling to describe but many call it shooters instinct, it had never been wrong and it wasn’t now. The ball floated over the wall and went in the further part of the top corner. The shot was unsaveable. You ran over to the bench, more specifically to Sarina, to celebrate with the woman who gave you space and welcomed you back with open arms. 
“It’s like you never left”
Her words caught you off guard. For a brief moment you agreed with her but you got hit by the feeling of grief, you looked towards the family section and there was no one supporting you. Maybe some things hadn’t changed but a lot certainly has. When the full time whistle was blown your team mates ran towards you, all of the congratulating you on your performance and your first game back.
It was a weird kind of celebrations that night. The team was split, half wanted to celebrate getting through the final and the other half knew the job wasn’t done, they knew that the biggest task was yet to be faced. Spain had beaten them before and on the greatest stage, the UEFA national league final could either repeat history and England could rewrite it.
The team travelled to Madrid that night, only hours after the game. Upon arrival almost everyone went to their rooms but not you. You knew sleep wouldn’t come easy so you decided to wander the streets of Madrid. It had become a habit of yours, you would walk around and people watch. Every human had their own story to tell and it made you forget about yours.
You had no destination planned yet you found yourself stopping outside a hotel, the one you know from your text messages with Alexia, was the one the Spain team was staying at. 
A lot of feelings were running through you and you saw this as the universe’s sign that maybe you should talk about them. You have confided in Alexia since Sarina first reached out to you, she knew more than anyone how you really felt about returning and you talked about this very moment, the hours after your first game when the past is very much present in your mind. You remember the words she told you ‘when that happens you call me’ so that is what you do or at least that is what you go to do.
“Y/N” you hear a familiar voice say. You turn to see Jenni, Irene, Laia and Misa walking towards you.
“Hi guys” your voice is quiet, shy almost and you cannot help the way your eyes scan for Alexia knowing full well that these are the people she spends the most time with.
“What are you doing here?” Misa asks you. The two of you hadn’t formally been introduced but you had scored a brace against her in the El Classico.
“I’m—“ 
“Here for Alexia” Jenni says with a knowing look and you cannot help but feel like she knows something you don’t.
You can only nod. Apart from Irene, you didn’t know these girls very well and the version of yourself that you show to strangers is very different to the one that your friends see.
‘I can take you to her. We are roommates” Jenni seems sincere with her words but you feel a pang of jealousy. Everybody knew that the two of them used to date, it shouldn’t bother you, you had no right to be jealous yet that is exactly what you were feeling.
You think about it and Jenni can tell you are thinking about it.
“She hasn’t stopped talking about you and I know she will want to see you. She was your biggest fan when we watched the game” Jenni added hoping to create some sense of comfortability.
“She watched my game?” You asked in disbelief. You thought you had no one but maybe you did, maybe Alexia was the someone that was cheering you on but instead of the family area she was cheering you on from the hotel you were currently standing outside of.
“She did. I think she forgot she was Spanish for a minute” Irene says which causes you to laugh.
“I doubt that but I appreciate the support. You know I shouldn’t be talking to you, you guys are the enemy now” 
“Yet you came here for our captain, she will be your enemy too. Come on, I’ll take you to her. We wouldn’t want you to be spotted outside our hotel, just think of the optics” Jenni once again says.
“Ok” you nod your head a few times to solidify your answer.
The girls lead you through the hotel but only Jenni and Irene stay with you, Misa and Laia walk ahead. The longer you walk the more you begin wondering if this was a good idea. What if you are overstepping your boundaries. You had no right to be here and could easily be turned away at any point.
You enter the lounge area of the hotel which holds the majority of the Spanish national team yet your eyes search for only one. She see’s you before you see her and is walking over to you with a worried look on her face.
“Estas bien? What are you doing here?” Alexia’s arm rests on your shoulder.
“It was an accident. I was out for a walk and I ended up here” you explained.
“She was asking for you” Jenni says even though technically it wasn’t true. In her eyes she wanted to play matchmaker after it was made evidently clear that Alexia was hesitant to peruse things with you even though she had feelings for you.
“Is this true?” Alexia asks and you nod.
“We won, I returned, I scored, wore the armband and I didn’t have anyone is stands” you whispered so only she could hear you.
The look in your eyes changed. For the first time that night you showed your true emotions. Alexia didn’t need to hear anything else. She grabbed your hand and escorted you to the outdoor seating area. She sat down whilst your paced the patio.
“Y/N, come sit down” Alexia pats the seat next to her and you comply “Are you ok, really? What made you come here to me?”
“I’m not ok but I’m more ok than I thought I would be. It’s been quite a day, that game was —“
“Incredible. You changed the entire play” 
“It felt right. I belong on the pitch with the girls, I should never have left” You didn’t register that you felt guilty about your absence until you said the words out loud to Alexia.
“You needed to. You had to process your loss and you returned when you were ready”
Alexia was very understanding, you had to give her that. 
“That answers my first question but the second” the Catalonian didn’t want to push but there had to be a reason and until she heard the truth she was filled with worry. You had been walking the streets of Madrid, alone, at almost midnight.
“Why am I here?” You repeated it. Maybe you hoped that hearing the question again would help you figure out an answer, it did “I wanted to celebrate…….with you. I was surrounded by my team, people I consider family yet you were the one I wanted to call and tell about the game”
You dipped your head when you felt yourself getting emotional. You were suppose to be happy but with everything you were feeling you were overwhelmed. On top of what you were feeling you couldn’t ignore the way your heart beat twice as fast because Alexia was sat opposite you with her hand now resting on your thigh. 
When you looked up Alexia noticed the the tears in your eyes and was quick to wipe away one when it fell.
“I shouldn’t be feeling this way Alexia, it is wrong” you met her eye as you made your version of a confession.
“You can be happy about playing football again Y/N. Natalia would have wanted you to be”
“Don’t say her name, not now” you shook your head and Alexia’s hand fell back to its prior place on your thigh.
“I’m sorry, I didn’t mean to overstep. I can give you space if that what you need” the blonde stands, ready to leave you be but you grab her hand and pull her back down.
“I don’t want space and that is the problem. I wasn’t talking about the game Alexia. I shouldn’t be feeling this way about you” you shook your head in disbelief. You were sure that your shot of happiness died with your wife but you have developed feelings for Alexia and could no longer deny it.
“Y/N” Alexia cupped your face so that you would look at her but when you did, her hand didn’t move.
“Ale” you melted into her touch. That very touch gave you butterflies and you enjoyed the act of intimacy.
The two of you went silent but each of your thoughts were very loud. Alexia glanced at your lips, you knew what she was about to do and you didn’t stop her. Maybe you should have, maybe you should have pulled away but you didn’t. You didn’t move when her lips hovered centimetres from your own, you let her kiss you. You froze in the moment, like a deer in headlights. It was only when you closed your eyes did you realise what was happening. The kiss felt like you were cheating, it felt wrong yet felt so right.
“You shouldn’t have done that. We can’t do this. It was wrong” you pushed Alexia away and stood up hastily.
You stormed away before Alexia had the chance to speak. All eyes were on you as you walked through the sea of Spanish players. Their eyes went from you and then to Alexia who was running through, trying to catch up to you. She was hot on your heels until you turned to face her. She waited a couple of seconds before taking steps towards you.
“Stop” you say but she doesn’t “No!” you held you arm out to further imply your seriousness.
After that she can do nothing else but watch you walk away from her. Her hazel eyes stayed on you until you were out the lobby doors and onto the streets of the Spanish capital.
Alexia was frozen in place. She has ruined everything by rushing but she felt something when she touched you, she felt a spark and that wouldn’t have happened if you didn’t feel the same thing she did. You told her that had feelings for her, you came all this way to see her. Those things meant something but maybe she had read it wrong, maybe it had all been in her head.
“Alexia, are you ok? You’re crying” Irene appeared in front of her. The woman in question was quick to wipe her eyes in hope that no one else would see her tears.
“I’m fine. It’s getting late, everyone should go to their rooms. We have a final to prepare for and we need to be at our best” Alexia walked away.
The two of you were very quiet in the upcoming days and were laser focused on the task at hand. Beat the opposing team and being the first even UEFA Nations League champions. Both of your team mates could tell something was wrong but they didn’t know what to do. Your team mates wasn’t aware of your late night adventures until Aitana texted Keira to ask if you were ok and told her that Alexia wasn’t after you showed up at their hotel. The English midfielder kept this to herself given that Lucy has only just got started talking to Alexia and there were a few players on the team who’s protectiveness could rival the defenders.
By the time the day of the final came around there was plenty of reason for concern but both teams knew that this is what you had been working towards. Yes, a trophy was on the line but it was the previous trophy that was the topic of conversation. 
The first time Alexia saw you was when they arrived for the pitch inspection. You were near the goal with LJ, it has become a new pre match routine for the two of you. Well you did it the game a couple of days ago and you won that so the two of you gravitated towards the goal today. 
Alexia wanted to go to you and that is what she was going to do until she felt a hand grab her wrist.
“Alexia” 
She turned to face Keira.
“Leave her be”
“I didn’t mean to upset her. We were talking about feelings and then I kissed her, I couldn’t help it. It felt right in the moment” Alexia couldn’t stop talking. It’s like was making a confession and Keira would be the one deciding whether or not it was a sin.
Meanwhile the English midfielder couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Sure she had suspected something was going on between the two of you but she also had a strong sense that you wasn’t ready for anything knew. In her eyes you were still healing.
“You kissed her?” Keira whispered as not to bring attention to their conversation.
Alexia was about to explain further but Keira stopped her as she sure her other team mate coming towards them.
“Lucy is coming. I will talk to you about this later” 
It was as if Keira flipped a switch. Her look of concern was replaced with a smile and she even put on a fake laugh so Lucy wouldn’t arrive to an awkward silence. Soon enough it was a gathering of Barcelona players yet Alexia could stay focused on what her friends were saying for you were beginning to walk towards her.
In your eyes you wanted to talk to Alexia and you knew you needed to. The other night was a lot for you to process but you did owe her an explanation for leaving, that much you did know. She looked good as you watched her enter the pitch. You let your eyes linger in the most discreet way possible. 
“You and Putellas?” LJ asked you. She wasn’t aware of what happened, nor did she know you were married. In her eyes, you were hiding something and she wasn’t wrong.
“We are friends…..I think. It’s complicated” you admitted knowing that Lauren wouldn’t push you further.
“Uncomplicate it” she suggested.
“If only it was that easy. Let’s head in and get ready”
You felt the change in heartbeat again as you got closer to where Alexia was standing. Your head might have been all over the place but you heart was being very clear in what it wanted only you weren’t ready to admit it.
“Y/N” Alexia shouted to you as you walked past her.
“Hi” for whatever reason, you pulled her into a hug “Good luck today, you’re going to need it” 
You both started laughing at the quick change of energy.
“I don’t think it’s us that need luck. We beat you in the summer” Alexia was cocky but she wasn’t confident.
“You didn’t beat me though” you couldn’t help but smile at her.
Your smile was genuine and that is something Alexia took great hope in seeing. Maybe you weren’t mad at her, maybe you just needed a little space.
What you said next doubled that hope.
“Come find me after the game”
Then just as quick as the hope was there, it wasn’t.
“We need to talk”
Those 4 words struck fear in Alexia but she didn’t have the chance to say anything because you were already down the tunnel by the time she came to her senses.
Your was brought up several times in the Spanish locker room and each time all eyes fell to Alexia for she is the one that knew you most. She had learnt how you think, what plays you are going to make before you make them. In her team’s eyes she knew how to stop you. Only it wasn’t that easy. Alexia did knew how you play but that style changes when you are hungry, like you have a point to prove and this game brought both of those things.
“Stop focusing on Y/N! If you focus on how to stop her then you’ve already lost. Focus on stopping her from getting the ball” That is the last thing she said before heading out into the tunnel. 
The lionesses were waiting for her, she expected it. It was an intimidation tactic. You weren’t there and that was a surprise, she would have bet good money that you would be in the starting 11. Mary stood opposite her and smirked when she saw the look of bewilderment on the opposing players face. 
Alexia wanted to say something, she kept looking back at the team. If she was paying attention she would notice that there was only 10 players on the England side of the tunnel. With her eyes now facing forward she didn’t see you walking towards the front of the line. The sound of your cleats fell on deaf ears.
Her head shot to the side when she caught a glimpse of you standing next to her with the pendent in your hand.
“Capital Y/L/N, nice to see you back where you belong” Alexia covered her mouth, her being well aware that there were cameras on her.
You shake your head at her greeting.
“Captain Putellas. You’re going to wish I wasn’t” you had one last attempt to get in her head.
“No I won’t. Win or lose today, this is something the world, myself included, has been waiting for” 
You thought you would get a smart remark not a reply that was genuine.
“Alexia” 
“Y/N” 
Those were the last words spoken except from a good look after the coin toss.
You called a huddle before everyone got into place. This game was important, not only because of the trophy on the line but it was the lionesses chance at redemption. To prove that it was only one game.
“I want you all to do something for me. Play for right now, not for the past. You cannot change what happened in the summer, no matter how hard you try. Winning today won’t get you the star on the shirt but it can be the reset you guys have been wanting. That loss has been haunting you, I can see it by the look on your faces and I promise you here today that if you play with revenge in your hearts then you will fail. Yes, this is Spain but we are England. We don’t stay down, we get up and fight. We stand together as a team, a pride. We go out there and leave everything on the pitch” 
Each player is hooked on every word as you give Mary the signal. 
“England on three” 
You all come together one more time before getting in position.
Alexia tries to do the same by most of the team is watching you.
“She is going to make it hard” Olga tells her captain.
“She is going to make our lives hell for the next 90 minutes but that’s not to say we can’t give it back. Look at that star on your shirt, we got that by beating this team. Yes, Y/N wasn’t playing but she is one player. As good as she may be, we are better. You’ve seen what everyone is saying, they are calling our World Cup win a fluke, that we didn’t win but England lost. We may have qualified for the Olympics but our job is not done. We have a trophy to win. Vamos Espana” 
Just like England did, Spain come together before readying themselves for the game.
The game which starts in the worst possible way for the away team. It seems the your players might be a bit more nervous that they are letting on. Inside the first 15 minutes Salma gets through on goal and sends Spain up 1-0. It wasn’t ideal but it didn’t mean the game was over either. You were playing safe, as a way to get the most out of the team around you. When the first half is done with you haven’t take a single shot on goal. 
Spain entered the tunnel happy and England entered it less so.
The atmosphere was eerie in the locker room and you could see the self doubt radiating off your team mates.
Sarina takes the floor and explains all sorts of strategies but nobody is listening. They are in their own head.
“Do you mind?” You walk up to Sarina hoping to have a talk with your team. The coach happily steps aside.
“How many of you are thinking about the World Cup? Raise your hand” nobody does and you decide to call bullshit “You’re lying and I won’t have that. You are telling me none of you are out there thinking of the summer? the picture of them lifting the trophy that should have been yours?” 
One by one players begin lifting their hands.
“I can stand here and say I haven’t been good enough. I need to be better and I will be better. In 45 minutes we will be crowned champions. The question is are we going to do it in style or are we going to make it harder for ourselves? We know what we need to do and we will do it” 
You leave the locker room and go back out onto the pitch. You are the first one out there and you take a minute to look at the score board. 1-0. You hated to lose but more than that, you hated to let people down. You made the decision to come back and you didn’t do that to come second.  You returned to be a champion and to make Natalia proud, you wasn’t doing to let her down. You had spent the past couple of days trying not to think about her and maybe that was the problem. She was your greatest strength, your biggest supporter and she may be no longer with you, you may be beginning to move on but that doesn’t mean you have to forget about her. No, you need to play for her just as you always did.
The first ten minutes of the second half it was like a different team was on the pitch. England were pushing and pressing and Spain were struggling. In the 67 minute was when the game was made even once again. You and hempo were tiring out the defence and it made them vulnerable. On one counter attack they couldn’t keep up. Irene was the only player standing between you and Cata but she could see Hempo running up beside you. She found herself in a lose lose situation so she stuck with you in hopes that the pressure would work, it didn’t. You pull her in just enough to give hempo enough space. At the last minute you passed to your left and she fired the ball into the back of the net.
Game on.
Spain were beginning to tire and the one touch football that was known around the world began to work in favour of England. They were unable to play out from the back because you, Alessia, Hempo and LJ was pressing the defence. It was mind play and it was working. 
It was during a corner where things got interesting.
“Keep going!” You clapped your hands to rally the team “we are in their heads, now we end it” 
“You’re not in our heads” Alexia says as she chooses to mark you. It was a tactic they hadn’t done yet, so far Jenni had marked you.
“Just you saying that is proof that we are but feel free to prove me wrong” you had a minute to talk as the ref walk talking to Lucy and Irene.
“I will. Let’s make it interesting. You score right now and I’ll buy you a drink later”
“So that means I’ll be taking the trophy and your money? Oh you’re on” 
Alexia followed you are you walked around the box as you got into position. You would end up in one or two places; front post or in the middle. Never did she think you would make a run for the back post and swap positions will Lucy. The change caught Alexia out and when the ball hit the back of the neck she shook her head in defeat. 
She had played right into your hands. You had pulled her in with your words and left her hanging when you celebrated what would go on to be the winning goal of the game.
You had to take a moment when the game was over. Everyone was celebrating but you and Lucy made the effort to congratulate your club team mates of a game well played.
“Ay, Capi. You’re predictable you know that?” Lucy threw her arms around the Catalonian.
“Lucy!” You slapped her on the back of the head “What she meant to say is you guys played a good game and that we will see you in Paris”
“We’ll see them in Barcelona” Lucy tried to correct you.
“I mean on the pitch as opponents, idiot”  
Alexia was to focused on what the defender said first to hear the bickering that was now taking place between the two of you.
“What did she mean?” Alexia asked you.
Lucy gave you a look before leaving the two of you be.
“You once told me that in order to see yourself as the best, you had to beat the best. Tonight you wanted to beat me”
“No, I —“ 
“You did and that’s ok. I wanted to beat you too. It’s our competitive nature. That need you had allowed us a way in. I didn’t know it would come from a corner, only that in at least one part of the game you will stick to me just so you could say you got the upper hand”
“I should have dropped you off, let Irene pick you up and followed Lucy” Alexia understands the error she made.
“You should have but don’t beat yourself up about it. That wasn’t our first plan or second. Our plan was for Hempo to tire Ona out and for Lucy to get inside Olga’s head. Without those two things happening, we wouldn’t have got the corner in the way we did”
Alexia didn’t know whether to be pissed off or impressed that you read her and her team so well.
“You deserve the win today. Go celebrate with your team” 
“I will but remember you owe me a drink. I’ll text you the address of wherever we go. Invite the girls too”
Alexia watched you walk away but there was one more thing she wanted to tell you only she feared it would do more damage than good. In the end she bite the bullet and ran to you.
“Y/N” 
“Hi again” you laughed “Do you want another explanation of our strategy? We can always watch the game back when we in home in Barcelona” 
Home in Barcelona. There is something about the way you said it that made alexia feel warm and fuzzy inside.  She quickly shook her head to rid herself of those thoughts and the overthinking that came with them.
“I just want to say that Natalia would have been proud of you today. Not just today but the other game too. I know it’s not my place to say that because I didn’t know her but you should know that. You—“ Alexia began rambling.
“Breathe. Thank you for saying that. I know she is looking down on me right now with a huge smile on her face and truth is if I think about her too much then I think I might cry so I don’t want to go into that right now. Thank you though” 
Alexia couldn’t help but feel like she shouldn’t have said that.
The ceremony went by in the blind of an eye. One minute you are waiting for Spain to collect their medals, the next you are raising the trophy with Mary. Back in the locker room you find yourself staring at the medal on your neck. Never in your professional career had one stayed on your neck for this long and never has the gold felt so heavy. It felt like it was weighing you down so you take it off and stuff it into your back. You would talk about that means with your therapist if you had one. 
Later on in the night you found yourself at the hotel bar with the rest of the team celebrating. You tried your best to be happy and part of you truly was but you life off the field was becoming more complicated and hard to ignore.
“Excuse me” you tell the group that included Leah, Georgia, Keira and Lucy. 
“Should we be concerned?” Georgia asks.
“Yes but let her have a moment. These past ten days have been a lot for her” Lucy tells her friend.
They watched as you paced back and forth on the balcony. To the English it was warm outside but there was still a chill in the air and you weren’t wearing a jacket. Keira kept looking at her watch asking herself how long is long enough before she goes out to you. 
Some of the Spanish team arrive about an hour after the lionesses. Some of them go to the bar, some go to friend but Alexia, well she only had one interest and she couldn’t it or more specifically couldn’t find you. Her eyes scanned the room one, twice and third time. She had her phone out ready to call just as she sees you. 
Leah catches her walking towards you and wants to stop her.
“What is she doing” The blonde asks defensively “Y/N doesn’t want anything to do with her”
The Arsenal player has heard about you bust up when Keira visiting England over Christmas. 
“Things are different now but I’m not sure this is the right thing to do. Alexia!” Keira shouts her club captain over.
“Hola. Congratulations again. You guys sure know how to party” she tried to be polite even though she had no interest in a conversation with anyone who wasn’t you.
“Thank you” Leah seems genuine “Were you going to see Y/N?” 
Alexia nods.
“That might not be the best idea right now. I think she needs a minute to herself. It’s been quite the day for her”
“I know. That’s why I want to talk to her” Alexia knew that you might be been struggling but to her that was all the more reason for her to talk to you.
“She won’t even wear her medal” Georgia adds earning her a shove. As far as the English players are aware, Alexia didn’t know anything.
“That isn’t surprising. Every tournament until this one she has given her medal to Natalia” Alexia says as if it is the most obvious thing but your friends didn’t put two and two together.
“Wait” Lucy says “She told you about her?” Again, Alexia nods.
“When? She hasn’t talked about her since she passed” the defender added.
“After Christmas” Alexia explains but goes no further.
“That’s why she went to you the other night but then you—“
“Keira, I won’t talk about that right now. I just want make sure she is ok and I can’t do that if I am being interrogated by you” 
With that Alexia leaves your friends speechless and makes her way towards the balcony.
As quietly as possible, Alexia slides the door open and closes it behind her. She didn’t want to startle you so she watched from a distance. Your face wasn’t puffy so you hadn’t been crying but your posture was stiff so you were stressed.
“They’ve spent the past hour burning holes in the back of my head from their staring yet you have come straight out” you turn to see Alexia resting against the door. 
“I owe you a drink and —” 
“And yet your hands are empty” you point to Alexia’s hand which as you stated aren’t holding a drink “You can come closer you know. I’m not going to blow”
“I know it’s just that—“
“The last time we were along I ran away crying” you laugh as you think back to that night. Things were going really well until they wasn’t.
“Are you going to let me finish a sentence or are you going to keep talking for me?”
You mumble an apology and signal for her to continue.
“Your friends know I know and I accidentally told keira we kissed” 
“Figures. She has been hovering” 
The two of you go quiet. It’s not awkward, it’s comfortable but even then it’s not what either of you wanted.
“You said we needed to talk” Alexia didn’t want to push things and you had told her this before the game.
“We do. What happened the other night it—“
“Shouldn’t have happened”
“Who is finishing the other’s sentences now” 
“Lo siento”
“As I was saying” you send her smirk so she knows she isn’t in trouble “The other night was very overwhelming for me, not because I didn’t like what happened but because I did. I told you that I had feelings and those feelings are for you Alexia. You make me feel things that I thought I’d never feel again. I promised my heart and love to her Alexia and to feel these things for someone else is like an act of betrayal. It feels wrong but I don’t want those feelings to stop. You kissed me and I knew it was going to happen yet I didn’t to stop it. I shouldn’t have ran away like that”
“It was a lot for you, I understand that” Alexia tried to reassure you that it was ok.
“It was but I should have stayed. You wanted to talk to me and I didn’t give you the opportunity. Just because I lost someone doesn’t mean that it’s only my feelings that matter. I’m sorry Alexia” 
Alexia couldn’t believe what she was hearing. Since you said the words ‘we need to talk’ she has been trying to think of all the things you could have said, an apology was not one of them.
“Can I say what I would have that night?” Alexia asks and you nods your head whilst closing the distance between you.
“Those feelings you talked about, I feel them too. Things changed between us after you told me and I couldn’t ignore it, trust me I tried. I was also aware of your loss and that this might not be something you are ready for so I talked to my mum one night. She is the only other person I know who has experienced the same loss you have. I told her that I had fallen for you and that I wanted to act on my feelings. You know what she told me? She told me that time heals all wounds but no amount of time is the same. If I wanted to prove to you that I truly liked you then I would need to take it slow so that is what I am willing to do. If you want to pursue this then we will take it slow, as slow as you need. You said it feels like an act of betrayal and I respect that. I won’t push you into anything you’re not ready for”
Alexia reached out for you and noticed once again tears were falling down your face.
“I have made you cry again. I shouldn’t have said anything. Y/N I am so sorry”
“Alexia, these aren’t sad tears” you reach for her hand  “I can’t promise you that this will be easy. When Natalia died she took a lot of my heart with her and I don’t know how much is left but I want to share what I have left with you. Please be patient with me Alexia because I don’t know how to do this again. For most of my life it has been her and I but now I get the chance at happiness again, with you. We can take this slow?”
“We will go as slow are you want. I have nothing but time for you Y/N”
Alexia knew what to say and for the first time in a long time you found yourself leaning forward. Just as you were about to kiss her she moves and kisses your cheek.
“Slowly Y/N” Alexia winked causing you to chuckle “How about we go for dinner when we return to Barcelona?“
“I would really like that”
“Me too. Now if I remember correctly I owe you a drink” Alexia holds the door open so that you both can rejoin the party.
“That does seem to be the case. Make it a double. It’s not every day you pull one over on La Reina to score the winning goal” you shoved her playfully.
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samkerrworshipper · 4 months
Text
Initiation | Barca Femení x reader
part 1
warnings: insinuations of smut, sexual references, don’t read if you aren’t open to non monogamous relationships lol
you are responsible for your own digital consumption this is not made for anybody below the age of 18!
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When it all had been proposed to you, you’d been shocked.
It was no secret amongst the soccer world that certain clubs had certain initiation customs, it was also no secret that inside a lot of clubs, especially the European ones, there was a lot of sexual fluidity across teammates. You weren’t oblivious, you’d heard the many stories from your national teammates, but when you’d signed with Barca and had two of your teammates approach you to talk about the Barca initiation you’d been shocked.
You were having coffee with Keira and Lucy, the afternoon after you’d signed and finished up all the media that had been required of you for Barca to put up on their social media and website.
You were sipping on your iced latte, whilst trying to finish off the pastry that Lucy had bought you, when they’d popped the question.
“Has anybody talked to you about Barca initiation?”
It was Keira who had piped up, her voice anxious from the other side of the table.
This was your first senior professional team that you were a proper member of, being only 22 you’d played the majority of your junior career with Manchester United, and your senior career had been a lot of bouncing between different teams. You’d never signed a contract that had you dedicated to a club for multiple seasons, so Barca was a big change for you.
“Lucy said that she had to sing a song or something.”
You hadn’t really thought about it much, you’d gone through the singing thing at your English call-up when you were 17.
“Right, but there is a little bit more to it than that.”
You looked up from your croissant, one of your eyebrows raised in questioning at your two older mentors.
“Are you going to tell me what you are talking about or continue to look at me like I’m about to explode?”
Lucy laughs, the anxiety on Keira’s face only becomes more prevalent.
“Okay, so a lot of the professional teams have different rituals that happen at the start of every season, initiation nights.”
You nod along, this isn’t new information to you, but the squint in Keira’s eyes at your obliviousness is enough to tell you that you aren’t catching on to whatever she is saying.
“Keira, can you get to the point?”
You're getting sick of Keira beating around the bush like you are a 10 year old.
“Barca has a night every year, a special night, it’s very important to some of the girls, no phones, no technology, it’s a very personal night, where some things that could be deemed unprofessional occur.”
You are still so lost, and you are certain that it’s being portrayed in your facial expression, is she talking about alcohol? Dancing? Pranks? Hazing?
“Keira, just tell me.”
Your statement is a plea, a plea for Keira to end this whole awkward encounter and just get to the point.
Lucy laughs heartily at the terrified look on Keira’s face, when she realises that Keira is stuck at what to say she takes over the conversation, both of her hands thudding down on the table.
“At the start of every season, we all get together, we have fun, no rules. This is different to your substandard initiation, this night is about connecting, on a different level with your teammates, on a sexual level.”
Your jaw slackens almost immediately, your eyes blinking aimlessly as you take in the last piece of Lucy’s statement.
“Now, that’s not to say that you have to do anything, if you want we can forget I just said that and you don’t have to be apart of that part of the night, it’s completely optional, a lot of the girls chose not to participate, but we just wanted to let you know that it is a option.”
An option.
It’s such odd wording, like it’s just an everyday decision.
“Sorry, I just need a few seconds to process.”
You take your time, taking a deep gulp of your coffee and a big bite of your croissant before you look back up at your teammates.
“Can I have a bit more of an explanation? I just want to understand this a little bit better.”
Lucy nods her head eagerly, a big smirk covering her face.
It’s such a taboo conversation to have at a fucking cafe, over breakfast, but neither of the other women seem very bothered by it.
“It’s a free for all, a survey is given out every year beforehand, things you are and aren’t open to engaging in. It’s separate to the other initiation, that happens during pre-season. This is different, It’s all very consensual, and if you choose to participate then you're limited on alcohol consumption, for safety reasons. It’s a lot of fun, a lot of pleasure and exploring. Alexia's been organising it for a few years now, so it’s a very secure process. It’s kind of seen as a final hoorah before pre-season and training starts. Normally they book out a suite at a hotel somewhere, but some years it’s been done at teammates' houses or airbnbs.”
You nod your head, it’s a very interesting concept, one that you are completely shocked by. Sure, you’ve heard about sexual innuendo amongst groups of players in clubs, but this is a completely different level. It’s uncharted territory for you, you definitely aren’t any form of prude or innocent type. You enjoy sex, you’re experienced enough to know that you are good at it. But you’ve never experienced anything near what this is.
“You’ve both been a part of it?”
Lucy nods definitively and Keira nods almost ashamedly.
“You’re okay with your partner being with other people?”
It might be an over step, but you figure this whole conversation is an over step.
“It’s not like that. I speak for both myself and Keira when I say that we both like to see each other having fun, that’s what this is. It’s a night of fun, and it’s with people that we both trust and spend every day with, there isn’t any worries about jealousy. There are a lot of the girls on the team that are in relationships, Ingrid and Mapi are together and they participate, Jenni and Alexia, Caro and Marta, there are also people in relationships outside of the team, it’s all consensual amongst both partners.”
You nod your head, it’s not like it matters to you, your not in a relationship, but it does make you feel a little bit better about the whole interaction.
“Sorry-I’m asking a lot of questions.”
Lucy just smiles and shakes her head.
“Don’t worry about it, I had plenty of questions to ask and I didn’t have a national teammate to ask about it. Ask away, it’s better to ask now then wonder later.”
You nod your head, you are still so shocked by this whole encounter.
“I-What happens at this night?”
It’s a broad question, and you almost palm yourself in the head for asking it.
“I seriously don’t need to give you the birds and bees talk do I?”
Lucy is jesting you, so you roll your eyes, pivoting to Keira with a genuine look of curiosity.
“It differs each year, depending on what people want to do. Toys, kinks, bondage, anything really. If you want to do something, someone is probably likely to want to oblige you. For example, last year, Luce put down that she liked to watch me service other people, and I got the opportunity to do that.”
Keira is stuttering over her words, it’s kind of cute, especially when you catch the glance that Lucy throws at her.
“This is the only time it happens every year.”
Keira cocks her head, looking at Lucy for some kind of permission before shaking her head.
“Not quite, there are agreements between some of the girls, on trips and things often happen but that’s more private, this is common knowledge amongst the team. Although, if you enjoy yourself there is a more than likely chance that more opportunities will come up, if you catch my drift.”
Keira is like your older sister, so sitting down and talking to her about sex has never been something that has ever crossed your mind remotely, but you are kind of glad that it is Kei that you are talking to. Because Keira doesn’t joke around the same as the others do, she wouldn’t make fun of you about something like this, nor would Lucy consider she’s Keira’s codependent.
“So, correct me if I’m wrong, and I'm going to be blunt about this. Every year, before the season starts, the Barca women have a massive sex free for all that’s disguised as an initiation party.”
Keira hesitantly nods, but not before she can correct you a little bit.
“It’s not disguised as an initiation party, there will be other new signings there, Ona, who you would know from United, and a few other girls. I can promise you that the newbies get the most attention, if that’s something you want, of course, there is absolutely no pressure for you to participate, this is about you doing as little or as much as you’d like.”
You take a few minutes of silence, whilst you toss up all of the words that have been spoken in the conversation between you and the couple.
It’s a lot to think about, and the thought is massively daunting.
Especially considering that you are going to be walking into a room full of women that you’ve hardly talked to. You’ve met Alexia, she dropped in to meet you when you were going through the process of your signing, but it had been a fairly rushed interaction and you’d been too busy being in awe of her to even think about anything besides the fact that in a few months time you’d be playing on the field beside her.
“If I said I wanted to?”
Lucy broke out into a fit of giggles, a big smile breaking out across her face.
“I’ll text la capitana, she’ll text you any details, you’ll probably get a visit or a phone call confirming your interest.”
You were still a little bit shocked, this whole conversation felt like it had been a dream, so much so that you’d had to reach down to your thigh and pinch it to confirm that this was in fact your life.
“That’s it?”
Lucy smirked and nodded, reaching over to pat you on the shoulder.
“You aren’t signing yourself off to the devil, Ale will be in contact, if you have any questions you’ll see Kei and I everyday leading up to it, and if you want to pull out at any stage that’s completely fine, no hard feelings, no judgement.”
You nodded your head, unable to do much more than that.
“It’s as easy as that?”
Lucy nods her head.
“Easy as that.”
It’s two days later, when you are properly acquainted with your captain.
You are sitting at your kitchen counter, finalising some university work that you are trying to get ahead of when you are rudely interrupted by the sound of a light knocking at your door.
You close your laptop, and turn down the volume of the playlist you have playing across your speakers, before you jog to the door of your apartment.
The last thing you expect to be faced with, is the face of your newest captain.
“Hola, Capitana.”
You don’t really know what else to say, you’ve had zero warning about this sudden visit, and whilst you are honoured, it’s also a little bit daunting having one of the best players the game has standing right in front of you.
“Lo siento, puedo pasar?” Sorry, may I come in?
You are nowhere near fluent in Spanish, Lucy had been giving you crash courses over the past few months once she’d found out about your signing, you had managed to get a cusp of basic conversational talk, the club had told you that once season commenced you’d be assigned a spanish teacher and a translator, so you hadn’t been super worried about it.
“Please, make yourself comfortable, would you like something to drink? I’ve got water, juice, coffee, tea?”
You list off everything that you can think of, as you open the door fully to Alexia.
“Just water should be fine.”
You are slightly shocked by the Spaniards' flawless pronunciation over her English, and also extremely relieved that you aren’t going to be forced to try and understand Spanish, because it certainly isn’t a skill you’ve even begun to master.
Alexia takes a spot sitting at your island bench, directly beside your uni work that had been the previous centre of your attention, which is now being completely occupied by your Catalan company.
“Here you go.”
You pass the glass over to Alexia, electing to stay positioned on the opposite side of the counter, instead of sitting down beside her. It feels less confrontational, more conversational and less one on one.
“Gracias, I’m sorry for dropping in without any warning, I was in the area and I figured it was best to discuss this all with you in person, I won’t be here long, I don’t want to disturb anything.”
You smiled at Alexia, shaking your head at her.
“It’s no trouble at all, I was just getting ahead of some course work, what can I do for you, Capitana?”
Alexia gives you a wry smile, reaching for her handbag which she’d set down on the floor.
“Please call me Alexia or Ale, none of the formality is necessary.”
You nod at her, Ale, it sounds nice coming off of your tongue, it makes you feel a little bit less terrified of the woman.
“Okay Ale, what can I do for you?”
Alexia smiles at you, a genuine smile that somehow warms your soul, it’s like magic, and you give yourself a mental note to ask Lucy about the effect later on.
“I’m just here to talk to you about our initiation night on Friday, Lucia tells me that you are keen to join in, si?”
You nod your head cautiously, it’s impossible to miss the little dimple in Alexia’s cheek as she licks her lips and smirks at you.
“Perfecta, I can assure you that you will have a lot of fun. Has Lucia talked to you about it, or would you like me to give you a bit of a debrief?”
Technically, Lucy has given you the debrief, but you are curious to learn more and see if Alexia has anything else to add.
“Lucy talked about it, but it was pretty brief and non-specific.”
Alexia nods, and gently pushes a sheet of paper across the table to you, one look at the words across the sheet had your eyes nearly bulging out of your eye sockets.
“On the left, you’ll see a list of girls' names, those are the girls from the team that are choosing to participate. Some just come to watch, others come to please, others come for pleasure. Everything that happens on the night is exclusive to the team, and if talked about outside of the team there are consequences. On the right you’ll see a list of common things that occur. I'll send out a survey to you later, the majority of those things will be on the list, you do not have to engage in anything that makes you uncomfortable, there is absolutely no pressure for you to do anything. Please understand that.”
You nod dutifully at Alexia, your eyes scanning the page and taking in the amount of names as well as different sexual acts and activities.
“We’ve rented out a house, it’s on private land, nice and spacious, lots of privacy. I’m sure Keira and Lucia will take you along with them, you can be as included as you wish, we take care of newbies, anything you want you’ll get, just don’t be shy to ask for it, okay?”
You nod sheepishly at Alexia. This conversation would make you uncomfortable normally, but talking about it with ‘La Reina’ like the two of you are discussing the weather is perplexing.
“Don’t stress about it, cariño, you’ll be well looked after, you are well sought after amongst the group, I’m sure that you’ll be very popular if you desire so. If not, I’m always happy to look after our newest additions.”
Alexia sends you a sardonic smile, sweet and sultry, full of teeth and a chunk of her plump pink lip caught in her teeth.
You think that Alexia can sense that you are stuck on what to say to her, a little bit star struck and still trying to process the words that have just left her mouth.
“Well, unless you have any other questions I'll see myself out, I’ll see you in a couple of days, adios.”
Alexia is up and out of your kitchen in a matter of seconds, barrelling towards the door, your body following hers and managing to speak out just as her hand connects with the brass of your door knob.
“Alexia, thank you for coming around, I really appreciate it, just one last question if you have a second?”
Alexia pivots on her heel, turning around to face you fully.
“Ask away.”
You nod your head, working up the confidence inside of you to ask the question.
“What should I expect?”
You are well aware that it’s a broad question, and you don’t know what kind of answer you are going to receive, but there is a part of your gut that’s just begging for more information, for something.
“You really want a spoiler?”
You nod your head definitively, you aren’t a person who enjoys surprises, you like to know what to expect, what’s happening. You’ve been this way since you were a child, and it’s followed you up until now.
“It’s an atmospheric experience, the feeling, the endorphins. There is nothing that matches being in a room full of people full of desire, nothing like being in a room full of women reaching levels of pleasure they never even imagined. I don’t know what else to say, it’s an out of body experience, there is a reason why it is so sacred amongst our team, as a newbie it’s daunting, I know it’s hard to believe but I was once in your position as well, and the best chunk of advice I can give you is to just let go, let yourself live in the moment whilst you are there, nobody is going to judge you, take a leap of faith, okay? I’ll see you in a couple of days, text me if you have any more questions or if you think I’ve left anything out, even if you just want to chat I’m here, take a read from the list I gave you, it should provide some insight.”
Alexia’s words resonate with you for days to come, the way she talked about the whole situation like it was gospel, her words making it seem like a holy sacrament. You study the sheet she’s given you as if it is the holy bible and you are trying to learn your scriptures.
14 women.
15 including yourself.
That’s a lot of people, and yet as you read over the names it seems nowhere near as magnitudinal as it sounds.
The list of kinks and situations is a source of a lot of your late night self explorations.
You’ve experimented with a lot of things over the years, but some of the things on the list have you weak at the knees just reading them. When your receive the email from Alexia it takes you a whole day to work up the courage to open up the attachments. The first one, as previously discussed is a survey. It has all of the things from the sheet Alexia gave you, plus a surplus of other things, and then some more questions to be personally filled in. It’s near impossible to work through it, it takes far longer than you think it should, but by the end of it you are left with a warm feeling in the bottom of your stomach, anticipation, shock at what you are looking at.
There are four boxes for each topic, yes, no, maybe. And below every maybe box there is a little text box which reads ‘please specify’.
It’s well organised, and you have a feeling that Alexia will have put a lot of time into it, from the very short amount of time that you’ve grown to know her you’re under the impression that she takes her role of captain very seriously.
Fingering? yes. Vaginal pentration? yes. Spanking? yes. Bondage? maybe - no ropes or handcuffs. Oral receiving? yes. Oral giving? yes. Use of toys? yes. Double penetration? yes. Anal? maybe - only experimented but open to trying. Sensory deprivation? maybe - no gags. Humiliation? no. Sex with multiple people? yes. Orgasm denial/control? yes. Sex with a couple? yes. Praise? yes. Degradation? yes. Choking/breath play? no. Dominant? no. Switch? maybe - most likely not. Submissive? yes.
The list goes on, it covers every single thing you’ve ever done and then more, it makes you quiver in the depths of your core, just with anticipation.
Once you’ve finished the yes no part of the survey and answered the questions down the bottom you move onto the other attachment, which from a quick skim over outlines the rules, expectations and details of the night.
The main things that cathc your eyes are the sentences relating to safe words and consent. It seems important so you pay extra attention to it. It talks about the traffic light system, that once you consent to the night it is your responsibility to use your words, there will be regular check ins but unless you use your safe word there is no expectation for anything to stop.
Some other topics that catch your eyes are details about time, place, clothes, etcetera.
The majority of it is just information that Lucy and Keira had already outlined to you, the newbie run down.
Three days later, and you are slowly getting ready for your night to come.
Over the past 72 hours there has been one thing on your mind, tonight. You aren’t spared a minute from your thoughts and when Keira and Lucy walk through your front door, running an hour late you are buzzing. You are well aware of the fact that you look like a 8 year old who has just skulled a bottle of cola, every single extremity connected to your body shaking wildly.
You were lost on what to wear, and it had taken a long chat with Keira yesterday to convince you that apparently it was nowhere near as big of a deal as you were making it in your head.
You settled for a matching sweat combo, just because you figured it would be coming off anyway. It was paired with one of your nicest pairs of lingerie, a red set which was probably leaning towards a size too small. The set accentuated every single part of your body though, it hugged your curves, made your ass pop and your tits look delectable.
It felt almost criminal to cover it up with a tank top and nike tracksuit and sweater, but you also found comfort in the extra layer of clothing, it feels like a layer of armour.
You’ve been sitting in your apartment, contemplating everything for an hour and a half when Lucy and Kei finally show up.
They walk in without any warning, and it’s certainly a sight for sore eyes.
You aren’t sure when was the last time you’ve seen either of them glowing and looking so smiley, but it’s definitely a moment where you take a mental picture for the future.
They’re both dressed similarly to you, and for once you don’t find yourself guilty for being curious about what hides beneath the couple's clothing.
“Hola.”
Even your words are practically dripping with anxiety, your voice shaky and stuttery.
“Hola amor, you ready to go?”
Lucy looks especially delighted.
Her hair is down, something that you don’t see very often. She’s got a light layer of makeup on that compliments her facial figures without making it look like she’s over done it.
Keira looks similar, her hair is down and curled every so slightly, if you didn’t know her so well you probably wouldn’t have realised but the effort is noted inside your brain. She’s also got a very light layer of makeup on, both women look stunning, perfect together, the picture of love.
It makes you hopeful, hopeful that one day you’ll find somebody that looks at you the way Lucy does at Keira, and vice versa.
“Mhm.”
You don’t get up from the couch, all of a sudden you feel unable to move.
Keira recognises it fairly quickly, taking a seat down next to you, her hand falling on top of your knee and squeezing lightly.
“Everything alright, little one?”
Keira’s voice is so soft, it makes you feel safe, like you’re at home.
“Just nervous.”
As far as nerves go, you're fairly certain the euros final doesn’t even match this, it’s weird.
“You know that if you want to back out that’s completely fine, nobody is going to make fun of you.”
You shook your head, backing out was the last thing you wanted to do, but it didn’t make everything else less daunting.
“M’ fine, just need a sec.”
Keira’s hand slowly moves up from your knee, to your thigh, her grip becoming a little bit lighter.
“I can think of a way to calm some of those nerves.”
Keira’s voice is unusually confident, and it surprises you greatly when she reaches down to your chin and pulls it upwards so you’re looking at her.
It’s just then that you realise exactly how close the two of your faces are, so close that you can feel Keira’s breath on your face. It’s warm and it tickles against your skin in a way that you’ve never felt before. She’s smiling at you, but there is a deeper connection through her eyes, the way she's looking at you makes you feel like you are the only person in the world.
“Luce?”
You’re well aware of what this whole night ensues, but it doesn’t settle the slight niggle in your gut that you definitely do not want to be reading this situation wrong.
“Yes, honey?”
Keira’s eyes don’t waiver from your own, even as yours look across the room to look at Lucy, who is giving you a similar look to Keira, somewhat predatory in the best way possible. Her voice is practically dripping with confidence, doused in assertiveness.
You look between the both of them, realising that there is definitely no push back from either of them.
“Please tell me I’m not reading this wrong.”
Keira silences you by pressing her lips to your own, you freeze up for a few seconds, your mouth completely unmoving as you realise this really is happening, that for the last week you haven’t been walking around in some kind of weird dream that’s been created because of some weird delusion in your head.
After a few seconds, you relax into the kiss, moving your own lips against Keira’s and savouring the flavour of strawberry gum and coffee that is fresh on her lips. It tastes how Keira feels, warm and content and it calms down any of the previous nerves that were occupying your stomach, the shaking across your whole body as Keira’s hand on your jaw gently caresses the skin with the pads of her fingertips.
After a few more seconds of Keira sucking and biting at your lips she retracts herself, a big smile on her face as she continues to stare at you.
“Luce you need to try, she tastes divine.”
The compliment makes you blush more than you were already, the redness spreading down to your neck as you feel the couple's eyes on you.
“All in due time Kei, we don’t want to overwhelm her, now I think it’s about time we get a move on, hm?”
You nod subconsciously, your brain still floating on a different planet as you compartmentalise exactly what just happened. All you can think about is how Keira’s lips felt, addictively soft and supple, it’s a feeling that you are certain you won’t forget.
“God you’ve gone and broken her Kei, already?”
The feeling of Keira squeezing your knee once again manages to awaken you from your trance, your eyes darting between the couple cautiously.
“You ready to go, honey?”
Keira’s voice is as soft as her lips, you're so effortlessly enraptured by her that it makes you more than a little bit excited for whatever is to come.
You’ve never seen Keira look this carefree, this cheeky and it makes you feel so much more at peace then you had previously.
You allow Keira to guide you out of your own apartment, your brain still working at a snail's pace so before you even realise you are sitting in the backseat of Lucy’s very nice mercedes. Instead of sitting in the front beside Lucy, Keira has elected to sit in the backseat with you, her body pressed up against your own and her hand resting comfortably on the inside of your knee.
Your knee is bouncing up and down under Keira’s hand, and before you can say anything, her hand is moving up to your chin and rotating it to meet her lips.
This time the kiss is more motivated, more purposeful but sweet all the same.
You give Keira control, your lips practically melting into hers as her hand tangles into the back of your head, tugging at the tresses of hair at the nape of your neck.
It feels so good, so good that you part your lips to moan, instead your sounds are silenced though by Keira’s tongue.
Keira kisses with passion and fervour, it’s quite shocking based off of her personality and all the times you’ve seen her around Lucy, but it makes you giddy on the inside all the same.
“Keira, behave.”
The words come when Keira’s spare hand comes up to your covered breast, you don’t even really notice until you see Lucy looking directly at Keira in the rearview mirror and the look on her face is a mixture of displeasure and humour.
“You're just mad that I got her first.”
Keira’s hand doesn’t move, and it’s fairly clear that Lucy isn’t pleased about it.
“You keep talking like that to me and you won’t like how the night goes for you.”
Keira’s hand quickly moves down from your breast but she doesn’t remove it completely, instead moving it down to your lap again, but her kisses don’t stop, she litters little kisses all over your jaw and neck, all whilst you maintain the eye contact with Lucy in the rearview.
She’s smirking, her eyes don’t leave yours unless they go back to the road, and even when they don’t you keep your eyes on her.
Keira is only egged on by the little sounds and moans that leave your mouth as she finds different spots across your neck and face that make you melt even further into her.
“How does she feel honey? Is she getting you warmed up?”
Lucy’s words are directed towards you, it takes a few seconds for your brain to wrap it’s way around them but once you do you reply quickly.
“Feels good, m’ sorry.”
Lucy’s eyebrows furrow, and when the next red light comes she turns around completely to look at you.
“What do you have to be sorry for?”
Lucy voice is more questioning than accusatory.
“Sorry for getting Kei in trouble and kissing her without your permission.”
Lucy scoffs and Keira snorts from her spot on your neck.
“Oh honey, not your fault that Kei is choosing to be a bit bratty, these nights always get her quite over zealous, as far as kissing her you’ve got my full permission, you don’t need to ask.”
You nod cautiously, moaning as Keira begins to suck a mark right into the pulse point on your neck.
“Kei, behave yourself, you know what Ale said about not getting over excited.”
It’s the mention of Alexia’s name that has your ears perking up.
It seems to get Keira to back off a bit, her lips at least, her hand continues to rub gently at the inside of your knee and thigh and you slowly drive down a dark and windy road.
“Y’know you're all Kei’s been talking about all week, she’s been very excited for tonight.”
You look over at the older English woman, feeling a little bit confident when you notice that Keira is blushing wildly and avoiding your eye contact completely.
“Lucee.”
Keira is clearly embarrassed, which must mean that what Lucy is saying has come truth, which means that Keira has been thinking about you.
“All she’s been talking about, I can say the same about quite a lot of the girls, you are a popular topic.”
It makes you feel all giddy in your stomach with the acknowledgment from Lucy, she’s the last person that would lie to you, so it makes you feel especially good.
Keira groans and hides her head against the window.
“Really?”
Lucy scoffs once again at the shock in your voice.
“Trust me honey, pretty sure there will be girls queuing up for you, us oldies don’t get that kind of attention.”
Keira rolls her eyes, which is enough of an answer for you to realise that Lucy is trying to be humble.
It’s just as you’re about to say something that the car pulls into a driveway, which is already full of cars.
Alexia is right, it’s the only light that you’ve seen for miles, there is nobody for miles, which is a big comfort.
Lucy opens your door for you, helping you out and immediately beginning to assess your neck.
Once she’s certain that there are no marks she moves her vision up to your face, reaching down for a quick kiss.
It’s different to Keira, rougher, her lips more coarse.
It still feels equally as good.
Lucy releases fairly quickly, Keira’s already walking up the stairs to the house, an extra pep in her step as she makes it to the door.
Lucy and you are quick to follow her.
The door has a keypad on it, Keira quickly punches in a four digit code before the door pops open. The entry hallway is completely empty and silent, all three of you toe off your shoes and leave them and your socks by the door.
Lucy leads towards the door at the end of the entry way, you loiter behind, completely terrified of whatever is going to be behind it.
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mysunshinetemptress · 3 months
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I love you
Alexia Putellas x sisters best friend reader
Warnings: fluff, slight angst,
Alexia hadn’t always liked you let alone love you, to her you where her little sisters annoying best friend who would do anything possible to annoy her daily. She would huff and roll her eyes every time you would bounce over and ask for her to watch a dance both yourself and Alba had just come up with, or slam her bedroom door in your face anytime you knocked, you where a constant pain back then.
But to Alba you were her best friend who had been there for her through her worst and best times. Alexia and Albas father had died when Alexia was 18 and Alba was 15 with you still being 14 and you had been Albas constant being there from the beginning of their worst nightmare until Alexia decided to shut you out. It was something you always brushed off stating it was understandable you weren’t family and Alexia simply wanted to mourn such a massive loss with her sister and mother in private much to Albas dismay who constantly stated she needed you and Alexia had no right to push you away in that manner, especially when she knew how much you loved her sister.
Alva had been there for just as much as you had for her especially when her sister had began to date her teammate Jenni Hermoso breaking your heart in the process. Alexia didn’t know of your feelings swearing Alba to secrecy but her constant show of affection towards Jenni at the Putellas family home saw you avoid the house much to the older girls delight.
Alexia didn’t think she could dislike you anymore until in her words you “tried to take Alba away from her home.” You had been accepted into the Paris Opera Ballet School at the age of 18, she had screamed at you much to your, Eli and Albas horror, once again you had left the Putellas house on the older girls wishes only this time you didn’t return, instead you said goodbye to your best friend and boarded a plane. A year later Alba flew out to you and never looked back instead she began flying around the globe with you as you began your professional Ballet career stating you need a reminder of home (her).
But now at the age of 25 you where heading home for the first time, you where taking a well deserved break before your next contract started up opting to travel home to spend time with family and friends.
That’s how Alexia found you relaxing on the couch in her family home “Y/n.” You turned looking at the eldest Putellas smiling softly “Hola Ale.” Alexia looked at you stunned “you…you are home.” You nodded “Sí for a while I have a break in my contract so I thought why not.” Alexia nodded unable to take her eyes off of you “well eh..it’s nice to see you.” You smiled brightly at her “it’s nice to see you too Ale.” Alexia let out a nervous laugh before rushing into the kitchen to find her mother as Alba trotted down the stairs “what was that.” You let out a huff “that was me realising I might still have feelings for your sister Al.” Alba smacked you laughing “dios mío, y/n you told me you where done with her the night you left.” You shook your head “I know but Al, I forgot how hot your sister was.” Alba through a pillow at you head as you laughed.
You spent nearly every day at the Putellas house like the old days only this time Alexia didn’t seem to care as much, maybe it was the fact she had her own place now but you often found her sitting watching movies with you and Alba or sitting at the dinner table having coffee in the morning. What blew your mind altogether was when she invited you on a night out with her teammates, “Alba will be there, but I just thought I would ask you know incase you wanted to meet them or just go out for the night.” You smiled happily nodding “I’d love to, eh I’ll be here at 7pm.” Alexia couldn’t help the butterflies in her stomach “sounds good Osa.” You couldn’t help but blush at the nickname remembering back to when the word adesoso used to follow after it.
You had been panicking since 4pm on the phone to Alba “I don’t have clothes Al.” Alba huffed “yes you do amor, wear the black corset and trousers you know the leather ones and your boots you look hot in them.” You rolled your eyes “ok are you sure.” Alba rolled her eyes “you could wear a bin bag and Ale would think you are hot.” Three hours later you were stood outside the Putellas house nervously talking yourself up to ring the doorbell looking up suddenly when you head Alexia’s voice “Joder, eres preciosa.” You looked down as your face reddened “Gracias Ale.” You finally looked up staring at the older girl “wow Ale you look wow.” Alexia shook her head before grabbing your hand and pulling you in the door shouting out to Alba that you were here and ready to go.
Arriving at the club you scanned the room before catching eyes with Barcelonas best known defender “Mapi.” Maria turned on a dime laughing as she ran to scoop you up “Bebé pequeño.” You laughed at the nickname you kissed her cheek as she put you down not turning as you felt a hand on your back thinking it was Alba “how are you amor, what are you doing here, oh I have someone I want you to meet.” You laughed at Mapi’s excitement “Más despacio,Maria.” The hand left your back as Mapi dragged you towards the crowd “Mi Vida I have someone you have to meet.” You froze slightly at the sight of the tall Norwegian until she smiled brightly at you “Maria did you kidnap a ballerina.” Mapi looked confused “eh no, this is Y/n mi Bebé pequeño.” Ingrid shook her head “no you kidnapped one of the best Ballerinas in the world.” You laughed shaking your head before putting your hand out to shake Ingrid’s hand “Hola, I’m Y/n.” Ingrid looked surprised as you leaned into Mapi “how do you two know each other.” You both looked at each other and laughed “Ale and Alba.” Ingrid looked even more surprised before you began to explain “I grew up with Al, and then when I moved to Paris to study Alba followed me over a year later.” Ingrid looked stunned “I can’t tell you how many times I’ve watched you perform either live or on screen you are incredible.” You felt your cheeks reddening at her compliment before a hand grabbed your back again, once again assuming it was Alba you relaxed into their arms “My friends are actually trying to organise seeing you in Vienna.” Finally the voice behind you spoke causing you to stiffen “Vienna.” You turned looking at Alexia “sí, I leave in two weeks to begin rehearsals and then my next show is in Paris and then my agent said something about dancing in London.” Alexia felt her stomach drop “so when are you coming home.” You looked at Alexia confused “probably not for a while, why you aren’t going to miss me.” You laughed half heartedly but stopped at Alexia’s frowning features “of course I will.” You shook your head “you hate me.” Alexia sighed “I don’t hate you Osa, I’ve never hated you.” You wanted to push further but Alba grabbed your hand “Come on show off those moves we all know you’ve got.” You couldn’t help but look back at Alexia eyes softening as you looked at the frown spread across her face.
You had been dancing for hours getting lost in the moment with Alba like you both normally did, although this time you couldn’t help but look for Alexia sighing every time you noticed her talking to someone else before shaking your head and going back to dancing. You stiffened suddenly as an unknown hand wrapped around your waist before someone began speaking to you “Hola, guapa.” You turned looking at an unfamiliar face before smiling nervously “hola.” You turned looking for Alba before seeing her talking to a girl “it’s ok she’s with my friend.” You looked at the strange woman confused “ehh ok.” You quickly looked at the table of Barcelona players trying to catch someone’s eye but finding no one, you couldn’t help but squirm uncomfortably as the girls hand stayed on your waist squeezing it before you turned to Alba grabbing her hand “Al Por favor.” Alba simply brushed you off to busy batting her eyes at the girl she was flirting with “Al.” You tried again only to feel the random girl pull you towards her “hey why don’t we go get a drink.” You shook your head “no gracias.” But she wasn’t taking no for an answer as you put your hands on her shoulder trying to push her off you. You gasped quickly as you were pulled into a different pair of arms relaxing immediately as you took in Alexia’s perfume unable to stop the gasp you let out “Ale.” Alexia ignored you pulling you before she grabbed Alba “Al we are leaving.” Alba turned to argue before she caught your eyes and a worried expression spread across her face “what, what happened Y/n.” Alexia huffed “you would know if you took your head out of that girls ass and stopped flirting with her.” Alba huffed pulling her sister back towards her “why do you care.” Alexia shook her head “leave it Alba, I’m not doing this here.” Alba shook her head not taking that “no we are, you have hated Y/n since our friendship started, you haven’t made it a secret so don’t try to deny it.” Alexia huffed “I don’t hate her.” Alba cut her off “yes you do.” Alexia was getting angry “no I don’t, I love her.” Alba looked at her sister surprised “I love her, I’m in love with her.” You looked surprised at Alexia “you love me.” Alexia turned to you shocked “well….i…..ehm.” You grabbed the older girls face pulling her into a searing kiss “I’ve wanted to do that since I was four years old.” Alexia laughed kissing you again “let me take you home Osa.”
You groaned lightly turning to see Alexa’s relaxed features as sleep took over her body until she groaned at the sound of the knock on door until Eli pocked her head in “Gracias a dios, you grew a pair Ale.” You couldn’t help but laugh “hi Eli.” Eli smiled at you “Papa would be so happy.” Alexia looked at you smiling softly “I know, he told me if she wasn’t going to be his daughter in law he would disown me.” You laughed pulling the older girl into a kiss “slow down mi amor, you only admitted to your love to me yesterday.” Alexia sighed happily “yeah but I know this is forever.”
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ellatoone7 · 1 month
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❄︎ Night off ❄︎
Alexia's favourite girls series
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Tía Mapí and Ingrid to the rescue
When Mapí and Ingrid suggested a sleepover, you thought that it meant you and Alexia would be staying over too but they insisted that you and Alexia get some much-needed alone time. Alexia didn’t even hesitate to accept as she thought of all the things, she could finally do to you in an empty house. The walls haven’t heard her name being screamed in a while and she doesn’t want them to get used to that.
Alexia had gotten a few new things recently as a gift for herself that she has desperately wanted to use on you, but she didn’t just miss making love to you, she missed spending quality time with just you. A phone call was made, and she now had a reservation at your favourite restaurant. Emilia had been bouncing off the walls as soon as she found out she got to spend some time with her friends Sofia and Carlos. 
“You have your toothbrush?” Valentina nodded as she swung of her Mami’s arm. “I go to sleepover with Carl!” Alexia chuckled as she swung her up and caught her with ease tickling her belly as she squirmed in her arms. Emilia shuffled out of her room with her Barcelona backpack wrapped around her back. “Vamos!” She shouted as she legged it for the door, she was yanked back by her bag as Alexia turned her around. “Todavía tenemos tres horas hasta que tengamos que irnos Emilia.” The little blonde groaned loudly as she slumped on the ground, “I will wait.” Alexia stared down in amusement as she ruffled her hair.
Isabella was excited too, she loved Ingrid and because she was the oldest, she got to stay up later than the rest and watch a movie with her Tia’s. “Mama where is my charger for my iPad.” You held it over your shoulder as you were cooking, “Gracias.” Isabella left a kiss to your cheek before running off to do God know what. 
“Mm, smells good mi amor.” Alexia sigh as she walks in. Val is hanging onto her back as her little arms slightly choke her mother. Strong arms encircled your waist as she pressed her sturdy body against yours. Val giggled as she watched her mamí kiss your cheek, you giggled too before turning in your wife’s embrace to be greeted with two near identical smiles. 
Val was the absolute perfect mix of the two of you, she had your blonde hair and Alexia’s hazel eyes and smile. As she grew into her personality it was clear that she picked up aspects of both you and your wife which only further delighted the both of you. Whereas Emilia was a carbon copy of you and Isabella was the carbon copy of Alexia.
“How are the two cutest girls standing in my kitchen right now?” You cooed as you pinched both of their cheeks and like mother and daughter a bright blush graced both of their tanned freckly faces. “Don’t let Meels and Bella here you bebita.” Alexia whispered as she playfully bounced the little girl on her back, “Debemos ser los favoritos de mamá. ¿No crees princesa?” Val placed her finger over her Mami’s lips as she giggled loudly. You couldn’t resist to leave a kiss to her chubby cheek as she patted her Mami’s shoulder in sympathy. Alexia was pouting from the lack of affection before you too took pity on her a pressed a kiss to her cheek. 
Val frowned, “Kiss?” You cocked your head in curiosity, chancing a glance at your wife who mirrored your expression. “Why Mami didn’t get her special kiss?” The little girl babbled as she stared at her two parents, “Special kiss?” Alexia asked as she tried to figure out what her little girl was trying to tell her. “Sí, Emilia says Mami gets special kisses on the lips otherwise she will die.” Val’s eyes widened as she came to her own realisation, “No! Mami die? Quick Mama!” 
You were absolutely blindsided at the number of emotions that your daughter just expressed but she was on the verge of a meltdown and your wife was trying to hide her laugh. Before it got out of hand you quickly partook in your favourite activity and left a sweet kiss against your wife’s familiar lips. Alexia, as always, looked happily dazed as she chased your lips. You hold her in place by her chin as you turn to smile at your now very smiley daughter, ‘Bien?” Val nodded as she rested her chin against her shoulder. “Mami won’t die if she doesn’t get her special kiss, she’ll just get upset.” Val nods in understanding but you can tell it went through one ear and straight out the other. 
True to your words, Alexia was pouting heavily as she tried to push her lips towards you. You give in and kiss her until she’s satisfied, Val still has a happy smile stretching her little face once again identical to her mothers who is still sporting her cheeky grin. “Vale, stop distracting me and go get into trouble somewhere else.’ You laugh gently as they send each other sneaky smirks and with one last kiss for both of them which were happily reciprocated, and they scampered off. 
After you had rounded your family for lunch and watched each of them inhale their pasta, another thing they got from their hound of a mother and ask for seconds immediately you were finally in the car. Alexia was trying to wipe some sauce of Emilia’s face much to her disgruntlement, “Vamos, just one more wipe prometto.” Emilia huffs but let’s her quickly clean her face as she pushes her hand off. You on the other hand struggled with getting a squirmy Valentina into her seat so you can fasten her seatbelt. 
Finally, after a swift kick to the jaw and a wrestle to tie her seatbelt, you were on the road. Alexia’s hand was waiting for you as you quickly interlock your fingers, like clockwork she raised it to leave the softest of kisses to the back of your hand. There was a mixed reaction in the back of the car as Isabella groaned playfully, Emilia shielded her eyes and Val giggled. You bit your lip to stifle your laugh and you didn’t even need to look over to know your wife was the exact same.
Mapí and Ingrid were only delighted to welcome their extra guests as were the children as Valentina and Carlos both screamed excitedly at the sight of each other. “You two are insane, you know that?” Ingrid laughed loudly as she hugged you tightly, “I believe the words you are looking for are ‘thank you’” You glanced over at your wife who was holding Sofia like a little baby and placing kisses all over her face. An hour passed as you helped your girls settle in for the night before you decided to make your move. “Girls, we’re leaving!” You shouted and instantly there was herd of footsteps before they came into sight. Isabella hugged you tightly and promised to look after her sisters before making her Mami promise to play football with her when they got home tomorrow. 
Alexia picked Val up and placed kisses all over her face, “Do you have Senor Fluffy?” Val gasped in horror as she shook her head at your question, you were just about to resign to the fact you would have to drove home and get him when Alexia being the greatest mother she is pulled your daughters beloved stuffed rabbit from her back pocket. “Mr. Fluffy!” She reached out and snatched her stuffy to cuddle it close to her face. “Did you think he would let me leave without him? He’s been just as excited to come.” You smiled softly as her eyes lit up, forever infatuated with how her mother could communicate with her stuffy. “Gracias mucho Mamí. I love you.” 
You watch you wife melt as she tucks her daughters face into her neck. Deciding to give them their moment you step away to say goodbye to Emilia. “Mama, I promise I won’t have too much fun without you.” The blonde whispered as if she just confessed to a murder. “Darling, promise me you’ll have all the fun tonight.” Emilia hesitated always wanting to make sure you were okay. Emilia had imprinted on you and was like your partner in crime. Just like your wife she was extremely protective over you. 
Alexia walked over to say her goodbye while also catching the tail end of the adorable conversation. “Who will you have fun with?” She asked with her famous puppy eyes that neither you nor Alexia were immune too. “I will be with Mami all night, she’ll make sure I have fun.” Emilia lit up as if remembering that you were going to be with Alexia, “You love Mami!” You laughed as she held her hand out for your wife who was positively beaming at her little family. “Mami, promise me you’ll make sure Mama has fun.” Alexia took her request very seriously as she placed her hand on her heart and got down on one knee. “Te juro que me aseguraré de que mamá se divierta al máximo sin ti. Será difícil, pero me esforzaré.” Emilia seemed pleased with her commitment and the stern face quickly softened as she placed her forehead against Alexia’s. ‘Te amo Mami.” Alexia kissed her nose gently, ‘Te amo mucho mi princesa.” 
After the goodbyes were said and thanks given you and Alexia were back in her cupra. You already missed their little faces, but you knew they were going to have the time of their lives with your best friend’s. It also helped to have your wife who you got very little alone time with next to you. That was also obviously on the forefront of Alexia’s mind as she wasted no time connecting your lips frantically. Gone was the sweet and gentle Ale as she immediately tugged at your hair and slipping her tongue in your mouth. You moaned into her, longing to be closer to her now that you were free from any interruptions. 
Large hands hoisted your body over the middle console as she settled you in her lap, legs either side of hers. The kiss only grew more heated until whines were falling from your lips, and you were two seconds away from grinding pathetically in her lap. Alexia didn’t let up an inch as the minute you pulled away her lips were attached to your neck wanting to mark you as fast as she possibly could. It took everything in you to gently coax her away from her trance as she she stared up breathlessly at you. Pupils dilated and lips swollen, you wondered how you could go so long with just quickies and really quiet fits of passion in the middle of the night.
Her cold fingers were a stark contrast to your hot skin as she drew patterns up and down your bare back. “I’ll miss the girls, but god do I need this.” Your words were practically moaned out as you kissed her soundly again, slightly nipping at her lips to convey your need for her. Alexia could barely breath let alone respond as she leans her head back against the head rest. You laugh gently at her dishevelled form before deciding that it was now a good time to put an unfortunate stop to these activities until you were in a more respectable place. “Do you think it’s too late to ask them to keep the girls for the weekend?’ You slap her chest playfully as she chuckles at her own joke, pulling you closer so your body is flush against hers. 
Before you knew it, you were throwing on your best dress as it neared seven. When you made it home after many detours and impromptu make out sessions and one very close call where Alexia nearly had you in her backseat, you and Alexia relished in the very rare silence. As much as Alexia wanted to have you properly naked in bed so she could have her way with you, she also just missed being in your presence, so she quickly grabbed a bottle of wine and two glasses, and had you cuddled up against her on the couch while watching whatever shitty reality show she pretended to hate.
Alexia threw on her best casual suit that matched your dress and was now watching you add the finishing touches to your makeup. She loved just watching you doing mundane things, absolutely mesmerised at anything you did. You reached for her wanting her to be as close to you as possible, her hand fit in yours perfectly like they always did. She brushed her lip across your shoulder blade as her arms winded around your waist, pulling you back into her. 
Alexia swayed you both softly, a smile that was firmly reserved for you laying contently on her face. “Eres tan bella mi Vida.” Another kiss to the crook of your neck this time was delicately placed to confirm her words. It always baffled you that the woman behind you could still make you fall in love with her more and more every single day even though you had been together for you whole life. 
You pressed a kiss of your own to her jaw as you craned your neck to meet her pretty eyes. “I love you. More than anything in this whole world.” Alexia held you tighter meeting you halfway and placing the most loving of kisses against your awaiting lips. “Vamos mi amor, taxi is outside.” You sighed happily, grabbing your bag and then your wife’s hand as she led you towards the car. 
You had decided not to drive based on the fact that you were both a little bit wine drunk and had plans on having a few more glasses at dinner. Alexia was only delighted to not be driving as it allowed her to wrap an arm around your shoulder and whisper the most mind-numbing sweet things into your ear along with controlled and tamed kisses here and there. The usual booth in the corner of the restaurant was waiting the two of you as she helped you into your seat. Alexia’s arms wrapped around your shoulder again as you leaned into her firm shoulder, giggling at how you still couldn’t properly read the menu. 
Nevertheless, you didn’t even need to look at the menu as Alexia ordered for you, a kind smile on her face, something that always made your heart flutter was how kind your wife was even though it was just basic manner you knew you were extremely lucky. You fell into your own little bubble as you drunkenly giggled at every little comment both of you were making.
“So, we are free for the night. What do you want to do?” Her freckles were extremely prominent in the light as she placed her chin on her hand, leaning against the table. “There is a lot of things I want you to do tonight.” You whisper softly, gently biting at her earlobe as she inhaled deeply. “No te preocupes cariño, tengo muchas cosas planeadas para cuando te lleve a la cama.” Her words rolled off her tongue as they always did when she spoke in her native tongue, and it made you want her impossibly more. 
“Other than that, do you have anything else in mind?” Ever the pleaser Alexia wanted to do something fun with you, making sure she truly doesn’t waste a second. “Let’s go to the beach.” You quip making her smile brightly, so many of your dates had ended up on the beach always leading to great memories. In fact, the first time you ever talked about having kids was at the beach. You had just moved in together, finally being able to permanently move to Spain and start your life with your soulmate. You were both twenty-one, once again slightly tipsy as you lay on her chest. 
“Have you ever thought about having kids?” You slowly asked, not for even one second fearing her answer as you cuddle closer to her. You could practically hear her thoughts, perks of being best friends since you could even talk. “Four maybe five.” She replied so casually as if she hadn’t been thinking about it since she first kissed you. “All girls not that it would matter but knowing the Putellas it will be girls.” You laugh softly as she nods at her long line of women in her family. “You obviously haven’t thought about it at all,” You teased as she quietly groaned, pushing you onto your back as she props herself up on one arm, “Next you’ll be telling me you have their names picked out too.” It was a joke until you saw her cheeky grin and realised that she did in fact have names ready. 
Every time you go the beach you think of that moment yet now you have those girls, already secretly planning on having a fourth after each birthday passes. Your food arriving did little to break your bubble as Alexia held out her fork immediately feeding you the first bite. Like you always did in their restaurant you both hounded down your food until you nearly felt sick from how much you ate. You finished off your glass of wine while also declining the offer of desert as Alexia claimed to go to the bathroom like she did every time she wanted to secretly pay the bill. You had stopped trying to fight her on it as it genuinely ruins her night. Alexia adored spoiling you and she had plenty of money to do so not that you didn’t, you were doing quite well for yourself. 
You both stumbled out of the restaurant laughing as Alexia trips over herself. As always, the gravitating pull that has always surrounded you and Alexia worked it’s magic as Alexia wrapped her strong arm around your waist and hugged you into her chest as you walked to the beach. “Can we facetime our girls tonight before they go to bed?” You asked as you stared up at her with your signature puppy eyes and Alexia couldn’t believe how alike you and Emilia were as if she wasn’t the image of Isabella. “I already gave Mapi a time mi amor.” Alexia playfully scoffed as it she couldn’t believe you would’ve thought anything else. 
Your hand traced over her built chest as you make the last turn for the beach. You find a nice spot as Alexia quickly takes off her jacket and lays it out for you to sit on. For as long as you’ve known her, she has always been the most chivalrous person in the whole word. She would be the first to hold the door open, pull out you chair and offer her hand, give you her jacket or jumper whenever so much as a chill ran up your spine. She was so atuned to your emotions you hardly had to communicate at all. 
Just like always Alexia lay down on her back, inviting you to cuddle up to her as you eagerly do so. A kiss pressed to your temple had you closing your eyes as your hand found her heartbeat. “I have a crazy idea.” Alexia sat up still holding you close, you shot her a curious look as she softly unzips your dress. You rolled your eyes amusedly, “Having sex on the beach? Yeah, like we’ve never done that before.” You husk as you make no move to stop her, all you get in response is her charming smile. You figured you’d make yourself useful as your fingers nimbly undo the buttons of her shirt.
Normally by know Alexia would have you at the brink of an orgasm but she hasn’t even made a move to kiss you. You put it down to the fascination she had with undressing you, as her eyes roamed over every inch of new skin revealed. Finally, she places a soft kiss on your neck before she’s suddenly standing, ridding herself of her the rest of her clothes until she’s standing in front of you fully bare. 
Getting the hint, you think she’s trying to send you, you get on your knees and let your nails sink into the back of her thighs as she laughs softly, “Vamos, idiota.” She pulls you up and helps you take your panties off before you too are fully naked and suddenly, she’s pulling you towards the ocean. You didn’t even hesitate to follow her, laughing like a teenager as she doesn’t even think before diving straight in. You were a little more apprehensive in your approach but as your wife resurfaced with a mischievous smile you knew you’d be under water in the matter of seconds. Her arms wrapped around you, and you were underwater immediately, laughing loudly as you resurfaced and wiped the salt from your eyes so you could softly slap her strong shoulder. 
Alexia didn’t think you could get more beautiful, but she was always proven wrong especially with how the moon reflects in your gorgeous eyes and your breath-taking smile as you threw your head back with laughter. Alexia waded over to where you were floating, “Hola.” She teased as she placed her hand on your bare hip and effortlessly hoisted you up as you instinctively wrapped your legs around her. You knocked your forehead against hers, your face was sore from smiling as you kiss her nose. Alexia’s hands trailed down your lower back until she left a teasing squeeze to your ass and left them there.
“This night was perfect. Thank you.” You whisper as you kiss her lazily, arms slithering around her neck as you card your fingers through your wet hair. “Eres perfecto, Te quiero mucho.” Alexia just had her magic ways of making you feel eternally young. Maybe because the two of you had always been in love and it just grew the more you did but you felt safe and so incredibly loved by the mother of your children and your wife. 
Her hazel eyes bared into your soul and the air was knocked out of your lungs until all you could do was convey the bleeding, life altering, urgent need for the former athlete. Nothing else was on your mind, you could barely think but you finally were able to mutter the one thing you wanted most in the world at that moment. “Take me home baby.” Alexia’s smile could in fact get wider as she started out of the water, holding you up the whole way as she kissed you feverishly. 
Only breaking away to whisper, “Cualquier cosa por ti mi alma.”
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helen-with-an-a · 1 month
Text
You always have an excuse
Hi. So this is a request and I really liked the idea. Hopefully, I did it justice. I hope you enjoy
Barca Femeni x reader
Description: R always has excuses but eventually slips up.
Word Count: 3.8k
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Shit. Shit. Shit. You were late. You were so late. But it wasn’t your fault; indeed, honestly, it wasn’t your fault. Your parents were not the greatest at being parents. They had you when they were just 16 and far too young to be having children. Sure, they paid for your football stuff and gave you a lot of what you asked for, but it was to keep you quiet and out of the house. You didn’t mind too much. It was easier when you only had to look out for yourself, never telling your parents where or who you were with. You always had a range of excuses ready for anyone who asked – lying and telling your friend’s parents that someone else would be taking you home, saying your mum was just around the corner, she had work so couldn’t come to your matches. It was fine. You knew nothing different.
You signed for La Masia when you were 10. The training was intense, but you loved it. You thrived under the pressure, quickly working your way up the ranks. Your debut for the first team happened shortly before your 16th birthday. You had never felt prouder of yourself.
“And here we have it. At just 15 years old, Y/F/N Y/S/N, making her debut for FC Barcelona Femeni. She’s homegrown, working her way up La Masia ranks. She is definitely a future star.” The commentator said as you made your way onto the pitch. This is what you have been dreaming of since you discovered football. This was the dream that only some people achieved. And you were one of them. A professional footballer. Your life’s goal was achieved.
The game was an easy win. The other team was fighting a relegation battle, as Barca slipped 10 goals past their keeper.
“Vamos,” Patri shouted as she shook you by the shoulders. “A debut and a brace. Is that a Ballon d’Or I see in your future?” You laughed as she wrapped you in a fierce hug.
“Neña, what a performance, hey?” Mapi called as Alexia affectionately hit the back of your head.
“Where’s your Mamí? I’m sure she wants to see you after that performance.” You didn’t even bat an eyelid as you smiled sweetly at Marta
“Oh, she said we’d meet outside by the main gates – saves us from trying to find each other on the pitch and in the crowd.” You waved at the chaos surrounding you. You knew your mother was nowhere near the football stadium – you doubted she even knew you had a football match, let alone your senior debut. It was easy to slip away from the changing rooms; you had significant practice doing it most of your life.
And now you were running so, so late. You had woken up on time, but the food in the house looked a little off, so you rushed to get something from the bakery on your way to the bus stop. But the line was bigger than anticipated, so you were rushing to catch the bus. A man walking in the other direction wasn’t paying attention and crashed into you, causing you to drop your stuff and spill hot coffee all over yourself. That had disrupted your flow, and you missed the bus, having to wait 5 minutes for the next one, which wasn’t a big deal. However, the metro system was delayed. And now you were 10 minutes behind, and then the bus you were supposed to catch from the metro station to the training centre never showed up, so you had to catch an alternative one, making you 30 minutes late. You had texted Jona to tell you you were running late but you knew you had laps waiting for you when you actually got there. You arrived at the pitch hot, sweaty, and tired. This was not an ideal start to the morning.
It was a known ‘Alexia Rule’ that every minute late to practice without a reasonable excuse was a lap. As you arrived at the huddle, one boot on, one still in your hand and your shirt stained with coffee, you could tell she was unimpressed. With all your rushing, you had forgotten to think of an excuse. You didn’t want to tell her the real reason; you had a feeling ‘Oh, sorry Alexia, I’m late because my parents are really shitty, forget they have a kid sometimes, and they haven’t been home in over a week, and the food in the fridge looked a little funky’ would not go down too well. She arched an eyebrow at you.
“Um …” You floundered, thinking about what to say. You could tell her the semi-truth that the metro was delayed and you had missed the buses, but they thought you got dropped off at the top of the road by your dad on the way to work. You could tell them there was traffic, but they all drove, so they knew you were lying.
“You have 30 laps to run at the end of training,” Alexia had a stern voice that you knew meant she was serious. 30 laps? That was basically 10k. Your eyes widened to comically sized proportions. 45 minutes of running around in a circle … after training? She was trying to kill you; you were convinced of it.
“You can’t be serious?” You gawked at her. Her other eyebrow rose to join the other one.
“Deadly.” She said icily and walked away.
Holy fuck. You were really, royally fucked this time. You were so dead. You had to miss training. But again, it hadn’t been your fault. The boiler had broken in your house, which wasn’t a big deal – it was late spring in Barcelona, and you didn’t need heating. But you did need the hot water. You had tried to ask your parents to stay home whilst someone fixed it, knowing that you had training and they could definitely work from home for a day. They had dismissed you with a flippant wave of their hands and continued what they were doing. You phoned the company, asking them to come and fix it as soon as possible. But, as expected, they told you they would be there before lunch, which was the best they could offer. It was now 2.30pm, and there was no sign of them. You had texted Jona this morning, offering a weak excuse of feeling a little rough. You hadn’t expected him to tell Alexia that you were feeling bad, and it sounded like you were home alone.
The knock on the door had you running towards it – thinking it was the person coming to fix the boiler. “Gracias, Gracias. Es el …” You rushed the explanation, not realising that it was not a plumber but rather your irate captain. You froze as you looked up. Shit.
“You look fine, neña. You don’t look like you’ve … what was it? Ah, yes, ‘picked up a little something’.” She was far too calm. You could see her anger bubbling under the surface, though.
“Ale, I-” you tried to explain.
“No, no quiero escucharlo,” she cut you off, a hand raising to stop you. “You lied. You skipped training. Was it worth it? Was it so much more important than training?” She hadn’t bothered to come into the house, standing at your front door, a bag of things meant to help you feel better in her hand. “Here,” she shoved it at you. “You’re on the bench until you can prove that you want to be a part of Barcelona Femeni.” And with that, she stormed off.
Tears welled in your eyes. She hadn’t let you explain … but what could you say? ‘Sorry, Ale, my parents are arseholes and don’t realise that I have a life and a job as well’? ‘Sorry, Ale, I had to wait for the plumber to come and fix our heating and hot water, and no, my parents – the adults in the house – couldn’t do it because they think their time is so much more important than mine’? ‘Sorry, Ale, I’m currently trying to raise myself, and whilst I’m usually ok at it, sometimes I fuck up’? You couldn’t say those things to her. You couldn’t tell her how tough your life could be sometimes … most of the time. You couldn’t tell her that your parents don’t even know you have a game, let alone watch it or attend it. You couldn’t tell her you often wake up in an empty house for weeks because your parents jetted off somewhere again. You couldn’t tell her that you doubt your parents could even tell you your full name and birthday.
She thought you didn’t want to be a part of Barca. Barca was your saving grace. Barca was the only thing that got you out of bed. The friendships you made were the closest thing to a normal family you had. Jana, Vicky, Martina, Patri, Claudia, Bruna, Esmee, Salma … they were your crazy cousins, always making you laugh and willing to go along with your mad ideas. Ona, Aitana, Lucy, Cata, Mapi … they were your big sisters, always protecting you on and off the pitch and lightly teasing you. Ingrid, Caro, Keira, Mariona, Frido … they were the calming aunts that helped you through any predicament. Marta, Paños, Irene … Alexia … they were your motherly figures, the people you could always rely on to love you regardless of what else was happening in your life. Did they think you didn’t want to be there? Barcelona was the single most greatest thing that had ever happened to you.
You looked at the bag Alexia had shoved at you. It was full of healthy smoothies, nutritious snacks, and your favourite chocolates. You could even see a soft teddy instructing you to ‘Get Well Soon’. It made you sob even harder. Eventually, you moved to the sofa. Once you started crying, you couldn’t stop. You cried over everything – disappointing Alexia, having no hot water, being benched, your parents' dislike of you, your seeming lack of support system, how you appeared to fuck up the one good thing in your life. You cried yourself to sleep on the sofa, clutching the bag to your chest and feeling so incredibly sorry for both you and the girls you had failed.
The next morning, you looked horrific – puffy, red eyes, dishevelled hair, blotchy skin. You didn’t even try to hide it as you made your way to the bus stop, ignoring the weird looks thrown your way. You were in a daze as you walked through the metro system and onto the second bus, forgetting to hurry down the side alleys instead of the main road. You didn’t see Ingrid’s car as it drove past you, a concerned Mapi, Ingrid, Ona, and Lucy in it.
“Era que?” Mapi asked, pointing over her shoulder.
“Y/N? Sí, fue” Ona nodded.
“Why, though? She said she gets dropped off by her dad on his way to work.” Ingrid was just as perplexed. You seemed to know exactly where you were going and had stepped off the bus with an ease only known to someone who took the same route every day.
“Maybe it was a one-off? He couldn’t take her today, so she had to get the bus? Although I don’t know why she wouldn’t just ask one of us – she lives on most of our routes to work.” Lucy pondered, all of them confused over you.
“Hey,” Ingrid said as you walked into the changing rooms. You didn’t even smile at her, just nodding and moving to your cubby. “Um … so, how come you were on the bus?” You froze. How did she know you got the bus?
“It’s just that we saw you as we were driving in. If you needed a lift, you could’ve just asked; you know we’d all be more than happy to —” Ona explained.
“Yeh, my d-dad only told me this morning that he couldn’t take me the whole way, so … he dropped me off near the metro, and I just got the bus from there,” you lied, rushing to gather your boots and head to the pitch. It was a blatant lie. Your voice was too high, and your hands shook slightly as you tried to devise a realistic excuse.
“Todas sabemos que era una mentira, verdad?” Mapi looked around as the door swung shut.
The following month in training was awkward, to say the least. After your slip-up with the bus, you made sure to take the earlier trains, getting to training before most people had even left their beds. You figured you’d use the time to prove to Alexia and the others that you wanted to be there. You were still benched, but your name was still on the game day sheet, so you liked to believe they weren’t thinking of selling you or cancelling your contract after the season ended. The issue was getting home. If you stayed late, you were often questioned, but if you were seen walking out of the car park, you were also questioned. You really needed to learn how to drive ... quickly.
Eventually, Jona could no longer justify you sitting on the bench. Barca had the Champions League semi-finals coming up, and everyone noted your absence on the pitch.
“Y/N, you will be playing the next match. You’re going to be a sub around 60 or 70 minutes.” It was a short announcement, but you couldn’t help your heart soar. Did this mean they finally believed you when you said that Barca was the best thing that happened to you? Alexia still hadn’t looked at you since That Day, but she was no longer actively seething, which you took as a win. But now you would be playing in the home leg of the Champions League semi-finals. You were nervous, but not because of the match; you were on a 0 – 3 aggregate, and you were going to be playing at Camp Nou – it was an almost guaranteed win –but because you knew the team would be more suspicious of your lack of parents.
You decided to do what you always did – never look to the crowd, do a lap of the stadium for the fans, hurry back into the changing rooms, and slip away. Simple. Easy. You had been doing it all your life. But you hadn’t accounted for how attentive the team would be. They watched you wearily from a distance, concerned when you made no effort to look to the friends and family section during warm-ups or after the match when everyone usually went to see their loved ones. You stayed back, signing more things for fans, and then headed straight to the tunnel. After the celebration in the changing rooms, you gathered your things and disappeared before anyone could bring them up. You had mastered the art of vanishing like a ghost after matches.
But now it was the final. It was obviously an away game, but everyone’s family came. Even the coaching staff brought their loved ones. Not you, though. Your parents hadn’t known you’d left the country, let alone understood that you were playing in the most prestigious match in Europe for clubs. You were in the Starting XI, but you weren’t nervous. You knew you could win this match; this Champions title was yours for the taking. You didn’t realise that the fact that you had no family would be exposed the minute the final whistle went.
You played the full 90 minutes and an extra 5 for injury time. You were exhausted, but that didn’t matter as soon as the clock ran out. You had done it. Champions of Europe. The screams and shouts were so loud it hurt your ears, but you didn’t care. You felt unstoppable.
“Vamos, pequeña. Donde esta tu mamí? Quiero finalmente conocer a la mujer a la que debemos agradecer por regalarle al mundo contigo.” Mapi said as you sat on the grass, your medal around your neck.
“Más tarde. I just want to sit here and soak this all in.” You waved her away. She took you at your word but made meaningful eyes at Alexia, having an unspoken conversation as you moved away. Alexia watched as you leaned back, resting on your arms, legs outstretched, and eyes shut – head tilted to feel the sun on your skin. She waited for 10 minutes, watching you make no effort to see your family. It was the first thing she had done after the trophy celebration. She had run straight to her mother and sister, thanking them profusely for all their sacrifices and expressing so much gratitude towards them – throwing her sweaty body at them and tackling them into long, tight hugs.
“Do you want to see your family now?” It was the first non-football-related words she’d said to you in well over a month.
“No, I’m ok. I’ll see them later,” you dismissed her quickly.
“Do you know where they are? We could bring them down onto the pitch if you don’t want to stand up.” She wasn’t letting this go. She had an inkling that she hoped was wrong.
“It’s alright, Ale. Honestly. I’m fine sitting here, soaking this all up by myself.” You hadn’t opened your eyes, so you had assumed from the quietness she had moved away. “It’s not like you’d find them anyway,” you whispered as an unwanted tear escaped you.
“Qué quieres decir, cariño?” Your eyes snapped open, coming face to face with Alexia, Ona and Keira. You sat up, trying to hide your face.
“Oh, noth-”
“No me mientas. Dónde están tu mamí y papí?” Alexia asked sternly. You misunderstood her, thinking she was angry at you. You shook your head, refusing to answer.
“Neña, are your parents here?” Ona asked quietly, coming to sit next to you. You took a deep breath.
“No. They aren’t.”
“Do you want to phone them?” Keira suggested, hoping that it was just because they couldn’t take time away from work to attend in person. She also sat down, gesturing her phone to you as an invitation to use it. You took another deep breath.
“I don’t think they even know I had a football match, let alone a Champions League final.” Another tear slipped down your cheek. Alexia sat in front of you, reaching for your hands.
“Qué quieres decir?” She asked again, thumbs rubbing gently over the backs of your hands.
“My parents … I don’t really know how to say it,” you paused, Ona gently rubbing your back comfortingly. “My parents don’t really … parent?” You chuckled lightly.
“They don’t support you?” Keira asked, her hand resting on your knee.
“They don’t care enough. They leave for weeks on end without telling me. I get food and stuff like that on my own. I’m basically raising myself at this point. I don’t think they know I have a contract with Barca. I doubt they even know I play football. They just let me do whatever I wanted as long as I was out of the house, not causing trouble and quiet; they didn’t care. They’re lucky I haven’t turned into a criminal or something.” You tried to add a joke to lighten the mood.
“But you said you meet up with your parents after home matches,” Ona couldn’t imagine achieving half the things she did without her family supporting her from the sidelines.
“And you told us your dad drops you off every morning on the way to work,” Keira added, equally disbelieving – her parents were her biggest fans.
“Yeh, I lied. I just go home after matches. And I get the metro to training.”
“But training is nowhere near the metro, and you don’t live near a metro station either.” She still didn’t want to consider what you were saying to be true.
You explained, “I get a bus from mine to the metro and then a bus from the metro to training.”
“That’s why you were getting off the bus that day when we saw you,” Ona realised. She hadn’t trusted your story but had considered no other possibilities.
“That’s why you're late to training sometimes? Because of the buses and trains?” Alexia asked, her hands never leaving yours.
“Yeh.” You looked down, ashamed of your situation and lying to them.
“And that day when you missed training. You weren’t sick. What happened?”
“I … um … the boiler broke, so I had to wait for someone to come fix it. Which they never did, by the way. I had to phone some random company that massively overcharged me, and the water definitely doesn’t get as hot as it used to.” You babbled nervously. “It wasn’t because I don’t want to be at Barca. It’s the only thing that keeps me going, knowing that I have you guys looking out for me. It makes everything else seem not as bad,” you whispered, needing them to know just how important Barca was to you. You looked around. Patri and Pina tried to do the perfect chest bump as Jana and Bruna filmed. Lucy was chasing her niece and nephew. Ingrid and Mapi were with Ingrid’s parents, smiling widely as they talked. Marta and Caro were sat off to one side, talking quietly. You could see the others dotted around the stadium, talking to fans, speaking to parents, and enjoying the support.
“Cariño, I am so sorry,” Alexia implored. I shouted at you and benched you. I’m sorry I made you think I didn’t believe you took Barca seriously.”
“Why didn’t you tell us, neña?” Ona asked.
“We only want what’s best for you, kid,” Keira added.
“Um … I don’t really know. It doesn’t really matter. It’s been like this my whole life, so…”
“Cariño. It does matter. But we know now, and that’s all that matters, sí?” Alexia stood up, dragging you with her. “Let’s go see my family. Mi Mamí has been asking to meet you for ages. And before you say no, she already has plans for you to come round for dinner one night. Y en secreto, ella siempre quiso una tercera hija.” She said, wrapping an arm around your shoulder as Ona took your hand.
“Oh, Eli will have to fight my Mama on that one, Ale. She always wanted a goal-scoring daughter.”
“Well, my mum says you are more than welcome to stay at her house if you ever visit the UK as long as you cook her paella.” Keira smiled.
Maybe your biological family was shite, but your found one certainly wasn't.
I hope you liked it <3
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ktgoodmorning · 15 days
Text
That awkward smile
Alexia Putellas x reader
You return to Barcelona and are faced with having your ex as your captain
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Masterlist
“What are you doing here?” you jumped slightly as you heard the one voice you were dreading the most when you transferred to Barcelona, your ex. It was your first day at the training grounds, meeting with different administrative staff to finish paperwork and do your medical assessments. Your transfer hadn’t been announced yet but for some reason you assumed that Alexia would’ve known since she was captain. 
You stopped to look up at her. It was the first time you had seen each other in over a year. Of course you had seen pictures online, and seen her in passing at different awards nights, but you hadn’t truly been face to face in a long time. You knew that obviously she would be your captain after you transferred here, but hadn’t mentally prepared to see her so soon, before you had really made it inside. 
“I’m transferring here, just finalizing everything today.” There was an awkward tension in the air as you spoke, saying only the bare minimum in hopes of ending the conversation as quickly as possible. You knew it was going to be uncomfortable between you at first but it had been long enough and the two of you were professional enough that you figured it would get better with time. 
“Oh!” the blonde looked at you surprised, clearly not having been told this news ahead of time. Although you noticed how the corners of her mouth turned up slightly, definitely not angry about your presence, but still struggling to decide what she wanted to say. “Well… I’m sure you’ll be a good addition to the pitch. Let me know if you need anything while you get settled here.” You gave her a short nod, grateful for her breaking the tension between you and hopefully putting your shared past behind you. 
The two of you had dated years ago. You had played together on the Spanish national team for most of your lives before you started dating. You were together for almost two years, most of that time being really great. But once you decided to leave the national team after the 2022 Euros, it was the beginning of the end for your relationship. After you left the national team, the two of you rarely saw each other due to you playing in the WSL. You were both young and busy and the long distance destroyed the connection between you. She was focused on her recovery and you were focused on your career. The stress in your lives and the distance between you led to both of you frequently taking your anger out on each other, eventually putting an end to your relationship. 
You loved Alexia. When your relationship was at its best, you were the epitome of a classic football power couple. Everyone was rooting for you, including you. She was so good to you. You both were fiercely independent and made room for that in your relationship, always having the space you needed to continue to develop. You made each other better in almost every way. All your friends and family could see it, you pushed each other in exactly the way you needed, in ways that most people couldn’t. 
It was hard to forget the way you loved her, the way she loved you. At some point, you knew you wanted to talk to her, have a real conversation about all of it. Your breakup had been rough, both of you had said things you shouldn’t have, both of you left hurt and without closure. It wasn’t either of your fault’s- you each played a role in your own downfall. You hoped at the very least, you had matured enough to get the closure you needed and put your past behind you, if nothing else, for the success of the team. 
.
You were in the middle of doing media photos when you heard another familiar voice. “Zorri, I can’t believe you didn’t tell me you were coming here! I had to find out through Alexia?!” 
“Mapi!!!” you took off running towards her, fully abandoning the photographer so you could practically tackle the defender in a hug. “I wanted to surprise you! I missed you!” 
Mapi was one of your best friends. You were bonded closely from your similar experiences with the national team and had been there for each other through it all, no matter how far away you were. She was one of the only reasons you still visited Spain frequently, always staying close no matter how far away you lived. Mapi had been there for the breakup between you and Alexia and had seen how hard it had been on both of you. Honestly, she was half the reason you had transferred to Barcelona. Of course you wanted to see her more often, but more than that, she had given you the confidence you needed to trust that you could succeed there amongst some of the greatest players in the world. 
“I missed you, it’s been too long since you came to see me.” The Zaragozan gave you a playful glare wrapping her arm around your shoulders to keep you close. 
“Well now I don’t have to visit you cause I’ll be living here!” 
“It’s about time you did! Ingrid will be happy that she doesn’t have to worry about me hogging the phone when you call.” 
“Yeah well now I’ll finally get to talk to Ingrid again, won’t I?” she gave you a little shove as she rolled her eyes while you just laughed at her, happy to finally be back with your best friend. 
“Hey I’ll wait for you to finish up your media, then I can take you to go say hi to everyone? We all just finished up on the pitch.” You gave her a nod before going back to the photographer that you had left behind to wrap up the few pictures you had left. 
.
Most of the team you already knew from your time with the national team or through Mapi, but you were still somewhat nervous to officially meet them. Barcelona was known for being a tight knit team and you were nervous to have to come into that. Of course your history with Alexia didn’t help matters- did she tell people about you? Do they know how poorly your breakup went? What if they all hate you because they think you hurt her? 
Having Mapi by your side as she led you to the locker room brought you some amount of comfort. At the very least, you knew she and Ingrid would always have your back, no matter what happened with the rest of the team. But even next to your best friend, you were most nervous about facing Alexia again. Even though you had already seen her briefly in the hallway earlier, something about this felt different- more official. Now you had signed all the papers and there was no going back, making it all the more terrifying. 
Just in front of the locker room doors, Mapi stopped you to try to give you some encouragement before facing the entire team waiting for you on the other side of the door. She took both of your hands in hers and looked at you closely, “Hey, look at me. You’re gonna be fine. You know most of them already, and we all already love you, you don’t need to be so nervous.” You nodded at her, thankful she could read your thoughts so easily. “Vamos bien?”
The defender pulled you in for a quick hug before leading you through the doors to face the team. 
The team seemed to be all smiles as Mapi introduced you, ready to welcome you with open arms. Very few of the girls were new to you and they seemed to all be unaware of your history with their captain, who you had a difficult time tearing your gaze from. The blonde kept her eyes on the ground, barely looking up at you as you made your way around the room to talk with everyone. 
Everyone knew how unusual it was for Alexia to be this quiet and shy around the team. With other people, sure, but not with the team. Especially when it involved a new signing, the captain would normally be the first one to greet them and introduce them to everyone. Some people knew that you had dated, anyone who had been on the national team at the time had seen it first hand, but most people knew nothing about your breakup. All of them were used to teammates dating and breaking up so it didn’t phase them. The weird part of all of it was Alexia’s current behavior, and how she suddenly appeared extremely insecure. 
As you made your way around the locker room, she finally was able to look up at you when you got closer. You approached her slowly, unsure of what you were supposed to say, noticing the tight lipped smile she gave you. For Alexia, you knew her well enough to know that the awkward half-smile was her attempt at being normal, just not fully sure how to do so. If she was truly mad at you, it’d be much more clear to you, knowing she wouldn’t have made any kind of attempt to be nice.
 You gave her a soft smile in return, pulling her into a friendly hug, almost as a thank you for her not holding your past against you. The hug was supposed to be short, just a friendly gesture to show your forgiveness, but apparently the blonde had other plans. She held onto you tightly, much longer than you had anticipated before she pressed a soft kiss to your shoulder and pulled away. Her hands remained on your shoulders so she could talk to you before you moved on to say hello to the next person. “Can we get coffee or something sometime so we can talk?” 
“I’d like that, Ale. Are you free after this?” She gave you a big smile, the first you’d seen from her, before nodding. Her large hands gave your shoulders a squeeze before letting go to allow you to keep talking to your new teammates. 
The idea of getting to talk to Alexia, finally getting the closure that you never got before, maybe being on good terms again- it all made you excited. Should you try to be friends again? It might be really great for you, you obviously had been close in the past, maybe a friendship would work better. You knew in the back of your head that you still loved her. How could you not? But you’d push that thought down as far as you possibly could, knowing it wasn’t what you needed at the moment. You just wanted to be on good terms again. 
The room started to empty out as everyone was tired from the day of training and ready to go home. You slowly made your way back to Alexia’s cubby, waiting for her to finish changing and getting ready after her shower. The blonde made her way back to you, still drying her hair with a towel before looking at you, almost as if she were surprised you actually waited for her. “You know, I always knew you’d look good in some Barca stuff,” she nodded down at the plethora of Barcelona apparel you had been given to wear. 
You raised your brow at her, her confidence clearly returning, “Is this your attempt at flirting with me Putellas?”
“That depends, is it working?” The blonde smirked back at you, feeling much more comfortable now that the rest of the time wasn’t around to watch. She just chuckled at the way you rolled your eyes at her, grabbing her bag as she did so. “Ready to go? I can drive you if you want?”
“That sounds perfect, Reina” You knew the nickname always annoyed her, causing you to use it constantly. You giggled as you followed her out, even more hopeful than before for whatever this talk would entail. 
.
The car ride to the cafe was peaceful. There was some light small talk, catching up with each other while also avoiding what you knew you were there to talk about. You talked casually about life, and football, and what your families had been up to in the past year. When she pulled up outside the small cafe, she led you inside and straight to the counter. “Do you still have the same coffee order?” 
You were taken aback by her question, shocked that she could possibly still remember your order. Alexia took your silence as confirmation, ordering for you before you could even process it. She just offered you another smile, still humored by your reaction before leading you to her favorite table. 
“Thank you, Ale. Seriously. You didn’t need to buy my drink. And thank you for being willing to talk with me.” 
She wiped at her mouth softly, “Of course. I wanted to talk to you too,” she paused, “I want to apologize… for how things ended with us.” Her eyes hit the floor again, seemingly embarrassed of her feelings. 
“I’m sorry too. We both were just in a bad place, and took it out on each other. The breakup was the right thing at the time.” 
“We weren’t ready for it. For any of it. We thought we had life figured out and then it all came crashing down.” 
“Do you think we could be ready for it now… maybe?” you basically whispered, not sure what you were trying to get at. You had no intention coming into this conversation with any plan of trying to get back together. It had been over a year since you had talked, you might not even get along anymore, hell she might not even be single anymore. And here you were, already about to ruin everything.
“I think we could be. Maybe if we just take it slow, and don’t rush into anything, we can just see how it goes,” she spoke with more uncertainty than you had ever seen from her before. “I want to treat you how I didn’t before. If you’ll let me.”  
You gave her another soft smile, something you’d done a lot with her today, “I think that’s a good idea. I think just taking it easy to see what happens, not forcing anything. No matter what happens though, I don’t want to lose you, Ale. If it doesn’t go well, I need you to promise that we’ll stay friends still. I can’t lose the one person I love, not over some stupid shit.” 
The serious look on her face suddenly switched to a smirk, “The one person you love?”
“Yes, Ale, love. Are you really gonna pretend you don’t still love me? I know that weird half-smile at me in the locker room would say otherwise.” you rolled your eyes at her, knowing that you were right. It was clear that you had both pushed away more feelings than you realized in the past year. 
“Hmmm you know me too well, amor.” She grabbed your hand and brought it to her lips, pressing a kiss to the back of it before leaning her head on your joined hands. Your favorite girl just stared at you with a big not awkward smile on her face, excited about your future, and about where your relationship would go from here. Wherever that would be, you both knew it would be good.
I feel like the ending was super rushed, I kinda hate it, so sorry.
Any feedback and requests are totally welcome tho!
Check out part two here!
And part three!
Masterlist
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barcaatthemoon · 8 days
Text
stood up || barcelona x teen!reader ||
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you get stood up on your first date, and alexia enlists some help to make you feel better.
there was something special in the air as you got ready for your date. you hadn't told anybody, but it was your very first date. between your teammates and your parents pushing you to focus on school or football, your chances for dating had been slim. at least they had been before you were asked out by the very cute captain of the basketball team, matthias.
matthias was everything that you had been told to look out for in a guy. not only did he look like the literal prince charming, but he was also very sweet. the two of you had run into each other at your school's gym a couple of times, and he had always held the door open for you and carried your bag to your car for you.
everything was going to be perfect tonight, and you just knew it. you were giddy as you rode your bike over to the restuarant. for a brief moment, you felt panic when you didn't see him before realizing that you were early.
it was hours later when you realized that matthias wasn't coming. you tried your hardest not to make a scene as you gathered your things and made your way out of the restaurant. you thought that you were home free whenever you heard a voice call out your name from across the parking lot.
"(y/n)!" alexia shouted. you slowly turned around to see her running towards you excitedly. it could have easily just been an accident running into her, but she was the one who you had texted the location of your date to. "oh, you look so pretty nena. how was your date?"
"i-it was good," you tried to lie. alexia's eyes narrowed for a moment, but she dropped it.
"where is the boy? um, matthew, was it? i would like to meet him," alexia said. that was it, your entire facade came crashing down as you erupted into a fit of tears. alexia held you tightly in her arms, catching just enough to know exactly what to do.
"shh, come on, you shouldn't let that stupid boy ruin your night. did you get anything to eat in there?" you shook your head. "well then, i'll have frido pick up some of that pizza that you like so much and we can have ourselves a slumber party. i know it's hard to believe, but mapi knows a thing or two about being stood up."
"i would have thought she did the standing up," you muttered as alexia led you towards her car.
"the party has arrived!" mapi and lucy shouted as they entered alexia's apartment. the woman had never been so fortunate to have a penthouse before befriending the two defenders. she didn't understand their constant need to be rambunctous. frido had arrived about 5 minutes earlier, and with some coaxing, managed to convince you to eat a bit.
"you are so lucky that i love you enough to let these idiots stay," alexia said as she nudged your side. you smiled and wrapped your arms around her in a tight hug. the moment was sweet, and broken up as soon as mapi jumped onto the couch with the two of you. "get off of me, you're too heavy!"
"must be all that muscle," mapi said as she flexed. alexia tried pushing mapi off of her lap, but the woman was a bit too quick. she scrambled fully into your lap and pressed a kiss to your forehead. "you look very beautiful. this boy, matthias, he is the stupidest one in all of spain, maybe even europe. i'd beat him up, but his kind of stupid might rub off."
"thank you for the offer mapi," you laughed. she clapped her hands and cheered as you smiled. it definitely still stung a bit, but you found it very difficult to be upset with your teammates surrounding you.
several more of your teammates flooded into alexia's apartment, filling up the living room completely. if it was any other night, you would have thought it was a party. in a way, it sort of was a party thrown just to cheer you up after your date had stood you up. a party that alexia "no parties during the season" putellas had thrown for you in the middle of the season.
"hey kid, how are you feeling?" alexia asked as things started to die down a bit more. most of the team was laying around anywhere that they could, a handful of the girls having already gone to alexia's guest rooms to sleep.
"better, a lot better. thank you for doing this," you told her. alexia smiled as she reached her hand up for you to take. you did so, knowing that if you didn't, you'd be sharing the couch with bruna, pina, and cata. it wouldn't have been too bad if you didn't already know that pina kicked in her sleep, bruna clung to the closest person she could find like a koala, and cata was horridly restless.
"i am sorry that you got stood up tonight," alexia said as she walked you towards her room. you had slept over before, but this was the first time that you didn't have to bribe alexia to let you watch a movie as you tried to fall asleep. you could hear the opening song of one of your favorite romantic comedies playing on the tv as you entered the room.
"come on." frido patted the spot in the middle of the bed for you to lay down. you excitedly ran over and got comfortable in the spot offered to you. alexia moved a bit slower, but once she was close enough, offered her hand for you to hold as you curled up beside frido. you barely made it 10 minutes into the movie before you were practically dead to the world.
"it's easy to forget how little she is sometimes," alexia said quietly as she glanced down at you. "she looked so hurt earlier, i didn't know what to do."
"you did the right thing, ale. look at her, she had a great night all things considered. this could happen again, and if it does, she'll know to lean on us for support. she wants to be so much like you that it hurts her," frido said. alexia knew that the swedish woman had a point. everybody could see the little things that you tried picking up from alexia since you had joined barcelona. it was flattering, but alexia thought that you'd be better off if you were just yourself in the long run.
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sports-on-sundays · 27 days
Note
Heyy!
What do you say about Pau (cubarsi) brining his girlfriend to a tram gathering where all the Barca players and wife’s are invited and eating and enjoying their time. But could you include the other players teasing pau and/or both of them about their relationship and stuff, ofc their teasing is lighthearted but the teens in love get a little embarrassed and shy. But yeah lots of fluff.
Feel free to ignore this!
Have a good day 🩷
embarrassed and in love / Pau Cubarsí
Summary: Pau x girlfriend!reader - The young teenage couple is still in their awkward, giggly, blushing stage, so Pau's whole team teasing him about it doesn't help.
Warnings: mention of a few WAGs
Requested?: Yes.
Author's Note: You also have a good day. Thanks for the cute fluffy request; love it!
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You sit next to Pau, listening and taking in the conversations around you, but staying quiet. You were invited to a little meet up with Pau's teammates and some of their girlfriend and wives. This is the first time for you meeting a lot of them, and being probably the youngest couple here, both you and Pau decided it'd be smart to not draw attention.
"How are you doing?" Pau mutters to you after a while. His left hand snakes to gently wrap around your right hand. He squeezes it a little.
You smile at him. "I'm good. How are you?" You reach forward to snag a snack off of the coffee table.
"I'm good," he responds with a soft smile. You nod and eat the little snack, but once you swallow, you catch Pau looking at you with a little silly twinkle in his greyish eyes.
"What?" you ask with a quiet chuckle.
He just grins wider, reaches to the table, grabs a napkin, and immediately starts wiping your face, saying, "There were some crumbs by your mouth."
"Pauuu..." you laugh, feeling yourself warming up a bit at the gesture from him.
But then suddenly a chorus of about four or five voices all say in unison, "Awww!"
Both you and Pau look up to see everyone else looking right back at the two of you. You blink in confusion, and catch Pau's whole face lighting up red in the corner of your eye. "What?!" you squeak.
"You two are adorable," Robert says with a strangely ironic grin.
"Huh?" Pau demands. "What does that mean?"
"The way you two are holding hands like that," Vitor starts with a little smile.
"Yeah," Natalia, Raphinha's wife, teases, "and the way he wipes your mouth."
"Guys, stop," Pau murmurs. It's clear that the very thing you were avoiding- having attention drawn to the two of you- has come to pass.
"Aw, they're just embarrassed," Frenkie says with a little wink, crossing his arms.
"Ah, young love," João Cancelo laments, as if he's not not even thirty yet himself.
"When did you two start dating?" Coral, Sergi's wife, asks, clearly having some sympathy for you two and the embarrassment you feel with all the attention on you.
"Uh-" you start.
"We, uhm-" Pau tries.
"Maybe a year ago..." you offer.
"You're still so shy!" Ronald teases.
Pau frowns and manages awkwardly, putting his arm around you, "Only in front of people."
"Y- Yeah..." you say, leaning into him a bit, trying to prove a point.
This doesn't happen to help your case, as after this, even more teasing ensues, all in over dramatic, slightly mocking tones; though you both know it's all in good fun, you still feel so embarrassed.
"Is she who you're always on the phone with?"
"You two are the sweetest!"
"Look at the way they look at each other. Such affection."
"So when are you going to propose, Pau?"
"Have you even had your first kiss?"
You bury your face in your hands, your heart pounding in your ears, basically a blushing mess by now. Yes, Pau has kissed you a few times, but every time when it was over, you were so embarrassed and unsure, it took about fifteen minutes for Pau to convince you that you were just fine at kissing, there was nothing to worry about, and he'd totally want to do it again.
"O- Of course we have-!" Pau snaps, trying to sound tough, but miserably failing.
"Pau!" you scold.
"What, you didn't want people to know that?!"
"They're just going to make fun of us more..." you complain softly, leaning into him. You link your arm with him and wait for more teasing.
But Pau puts his arm around your back, pulling you closer to him. He kisses your forehead, picking up and understanding your emotions, and that you're actually starting to get quite bothered about this, and glances up to the room, saying, "Do you mind if you just let it off for now, guys?"
There's a few seconds of silence, before İlkay says with a twinkle in his eyes, "Alright, alright. Guys, let's leave them alone."
The conversation moves on, but for a moment in it, there's an echo of someone saying, "Those two really like each other, don't they?"
"Looks like it," their partner responds back with a nod. "They're young, but look at how he takes care of her. And I'm sure she takes care of him, too."
This makes you smile a bit, just softly. You're sure Pau didn't hear it, since now, despite still gently petting your hair, he's engrossed in a conversation with Marc-André, but you did.
You snuggle in a little bit more into him and shut your eyes, content, listening to the hum of all the different voices and conversations around you.
You're just happy the teasing is over.
At least, you hope, the worst of it.
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mapiforpresident · 2 months
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Most Likely To
Alexia x reader
warnings: none
~~~
It was currently almost Valentine's day, so Barcelona was having all the team couples do some short interviews to post on the actual day.
Alexia was not a fan of this, but she saw that you were excited, she reluctantly agreed. She wanted to maintain her professional captain persona, but she also knew that it was important for people to see that she was also a normal person at the end of the day and that it was ok for her to be dating a woman.
~~~
"Hey, how was your interview," you asked Mapi and Ingrid as they walked out of the media room. They had their interview right before yours.
"It was really good we had to see who knew each other better and Ingrid won. I forgot her first pets name." Mapi told you. "I think you guys are doing the who is mostly likely to challange. I am excited to see if we learn anything new about big tough Ale over here that we didn't know." You laughed at this agreeing that you would make sure the fans learn how much of a softie Ale is for you.
~~~
You and Alexia then walked into the room as the media people explained how it would work and set up your mics. The interviewer then got started facing the camera, "Ok today we have special guests Alexia and Y/n. Today they will be playing the who is most likely to challange. They each have a paddle with their face on one side and the others face on the back. I will ask some questions and they have to show the face of who they think it fits better. At the end we also have a couple questions sent in by fans. Let's get started with the first question.."
"Ok we will start off very easy. The first question is who is most likely to forget their boots at home?"
You both immediately held up the side of the paddle with your face.
"I may have forgotten them before the champions league final. Luckily someone had an extra pair in my size. Ale always asks me three times if I have my boots now before we leave the house." You responded laughing towards the camera.
"She is very forgetful, she even forgot her passport before a game onetime and had to fly in the next day. I definitely made her run extra laps for that." You definitely gave Alexia a few heart attacks from all the times you forget things.
"Who is most likely to cry during a sad movie?" the interviewer queried with a grin.
You both exchanged a glance. You raised Alexia face as she reluctantly did the same. It was no secret to you or the team that Alexia had a soft spot for emotional films, often shedding a tear or two during particularly touching scenes.
As the interview progressed, the questions delved deeper into your relationship, sparking laughter and fond memories between you and Alexia.
The interviewer grinned as she posed the next question, her eyes flickering mischievously between you and Alexia. "Alright, who is most likely to hog the blankets in bed?"
You both hesitated for a moment, exchanging playful glances before simultaneously flipping the paddles to reveal the others face.
You chuckled, nudging Alexia playfully. "Come on, admit it. You're the blanket thief."
Alexia raised an eyebrow, feigning innocence. "Oh, please. You practically cocoon yourself in the blankets every night."
As the interview drew to a close, the final question sent in by fans brought a sense of warmth to the room. "Who is most likely to surprise the other with a romantic gesture?"
Without hesitation, you both raised your paddles, a shared smile of affection passing between you. Despite the playful teasing and occasional disagreements, there was no doubt that your love for each other ran deep, evident in the small gestures of kindness and thoughtfulness that defined your relationship.
As the cameras stopped rolling, Alexia pulled you into a tender embrace, her voice soft with sincerity. "You know, despite my initial reservations, I'm glad we did this. It's nice to show the world a different side of us, to be able to share our love openly."
You returned her embrace, kissing her cheek lightly, feeling a surge of gratitude for the woman standing before you. "I couldn't agree more, bebé."
The fans absolutely loved the video and seeing this more personal side of Alexia and seeing more into your relationship.
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skipper1331 · 4 days
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Secret (4) // Alexia Putellas
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a/n: final part:)
| Part 1 | Part 2 | Part 3 |
When Alexia arrived at home, she thought about the next day, the next week and the following months.
She was ready to fight for you.
And even if there's no chance of ending up together, at least she would have tried.
She wanted you to be hers.
But she also knew that it would take time for you to trust her again.
The two of you had to start over, getting to know each other like when you joined Barcelona.
She was ready to fight for months, even years if that meant being yours someday.
Shy smiles
Alexia started to send you a shy smile each morning when you entered the locker room, her cheeks turning red most of the time when you caught her staring at you.
It was weird at first as you saw the glint in her eyes - she had a plan in mind - but nonetheless you accepted the small acknowledgment from her. It was a nice way to start the day. And you had to admit, catching her staring at you made your heart flutter.
Greetings and good byes
Growing up with the rule: 'everybody gets greeted and a goodbye' you enjoyed it very much when Alexia started to say 'hola' and 'adios'.
But what you even more appreciated was when she greeted you specifically.
-
Alexia entered the changing room rather late for her standards, most of the girls already getting ready for training.
"good morning" she said to your teammates before walking over to her cubby, passing yours, "hola y/n" she smiled, her cheeks turning red when you looked up at her with wide eyes. You hadn‘t expected that - she talked to you, in a room full of people.
"Hi" you whispered, watching the girl walk away.
Both of you had red cheeks, this simple interaction making your heart race. What was her plan? She hadn‘t approached you properly since the flower incident, was that her way of fighting? What was her way of fighting for you?
-
She surprised you a second time that day when she came to see you in the physio room.
In training, you had fallen awkwardly on your wrist, resulting in some pain which had to be checked. It wasn’t something tragic, but better safe than sorry.
Running through the tests with the physio, you got interrupted by a knock, Alexia appearing in the door frame, "just wanted to say bye" she smiled, the same shy smile appearing on her face which you‘ve had met many times before.
"So, um, bye?"
You chuckled at her nervousness, "bye"
"Sí, bye!" with that she rushed out, closing the door.
And like that the 'hi' and 'bye' continued for awhile.
Talking
"I‘ve finally finished watching the show, it was awesome" Alexia randomly stated as you walked next to each other towards the pitch, "I really liked how it ended"
"Right?! It was a great plot twist" you knew immediately which show she meant - the one you had recommended.
"Sí, sí. it made so much sense"
you fell easily into the conversation, sharing your opinions about the plot, characters and scenes and continued to do so until training started.
Seeing the two of you talk with one another became a regular occurrence, Ingrid, Mapi and Frido keeping an eye on both of you as they suspected something more soon, not knowing there had been already and Alexia was working on getting back together.
friends
Over the next few months, the two of you became friends, best friends if you were completely honest. and even though, both of you loved the other one more than anything was that an important step in your relationship. You had learned to start over again, getting to know each other like the very first time.
But you couldn’t lie, it was hard at times. Sometimes, it took every inch of self control… for both of you.
-
It was a hot day, everybody exhausted after the intense training session. most of the girls dropped on the floor, sitting there for a few minutes to calm down while they drank water. Ale was talking to Mapi and Irene while you stood there, drowning half of the water bottle. Your eyes kept glancing at Alexia, the girls shirt rolled up as she every now and then wiped away the sweat from her face.
That‘s when idea popped up in your head. With a few steps you stood in front of the three Spaniards, shielding Alexia from the sun, "just stay like that" she said, smiling, leaning back on her arms.
"Are you hot?" you asked, a mischief smile on your face.
"Are you not?" she replied, her eyes closed as she appreciated the shade.
"Let‘s cool you down then!" you laughed, pouring your water bottle over her. The midfielder gasped, one hand wiping away the water as the girls laughed, Alexia glaring at you, "you better start running" she growled.
And that‘s what you did. You ran over the pitch, Alexia already running after you before you ran into the facility, not knowing where else to go. La reina caught up to you when you entered the locker room, her arms gripping your waist before she pushed you against the wall.
With fear in your eyes, you looked at her, shyly grinning, "cooled you down, didn’t it?"
"Cheeky as always, hm?" she leaned her body against yours, both of you so close that you could feel her breath fanning against your skin.
"You‘re so beautiful" the girl admired, completely lost in your beauty, as your eyes flickered between hers and her lips.
In that moment, both of you wanted to kiss each other, feeling the blood rush through your veins, stomaches full of butterflies - you didn‘t know you were leaning in until Alexia took a step back, "this wouldn’t be right" she whispered as she wanted to kiss you just as much, "and I want to make things right." you closed your eyes for a brief of a moment, inhaling the scent you loved so dearly and enjoying the proximity until it was gone - she was gone.
date?
At some point, these kind of situations happened more often, almost everyday. Alexia caught herself wanting to and almost calling you 'amor' while you weren‘t driving to your home but in the direction of Alexia‘s house.
It was confusing for the both of you.
You loved each other but somehow it felt like new butterflies discovered the surface. You got to know one another in a different way - in a way that neither of you knew before.
The combination of the new and old butterflies caused a feeling that you never felt before. The old merged with the new and turned out to be strong. very strong.
So strong…
…that you couldn’t go to bed without thinking of Alexia- without imagining your future together.
…that Alexia was now 24/7 in your mind, or maybe even longer.
Per se, it wasn‘t different to the things you felt before but it was definitely more present and more intense. Maybe it was the acknowledgement of you as a person in training, outside of the facility and in general that made everything so special.
Alexia interpreted these situations as a sign. As a sign that now the moment had come - the moment she had been working towards for months. Now was the time to ask you for a second chance. For a date.
-
"Wait a moment" Alexia called after you as you walked to your car.
You stopped in your tracks, turning around, "yes?" you asked.
Alexia was nervous, you could tell by the way she played with the ring on her finger, her eyes darted around or foot tapping the floor rapidly. "Would- I would- um- I thought- maybe- um" taking her hand, you caressed the back of it with your thumb - it felt so natural.
"Breathe in, breath out"
Alexia followed your instructions, squeezing your hand for her own reassurance and sake.
"Thank you"
"Do you want to try again?" you asked, smiling lovingly.
"Sí" she took a deep breath, "do you want to go on a date with me?"
In trance, you pulled your hand away, stepping back, "I’d like to take you out to the restaurant Frido suggested"
"Take out?"
"Yes- wait no! I mean- eating in the restaurant"
"Like an actual date?" you sounded so surprised that it broke Alexia‘s heart at the way your eyes lit up and the way your smile reached the corner of your eyes.
"Yes, an actual date. Outside of our apartments. Only if you want to, of course"
"I‘d love to" Alexia thought your smile couldn’t get any bigger but oh, she was wrong.
With confidence, she stated, "I‘ll pick you up tomorrow at 7. wear the nicest clothes you have" happily, she pressed a peck to your cheek before skipping over to her car.
You said yes!
chance?
"What’s that?" you asked, confused about the item Ale held in her hand.
"It‘s a notebook" she replied, shuffling with her feet as you stood in front of your door, the girl insisting on walking you home after your date, "i, um, haven‘t been romantic before and i-" nervously she scratched the back of her neck, a habit of her when she got anxious, "I want to be romantic." her cheeks covered in a blush. You raised a brow, even more confused - what was going on..?
She pressed a kiss to your cheek instead of answering your questioning look, hurrying away before you could say anything.
Rushing inside, throwing your shoes somewhere, you quickly got comfortable on the couch. As you opened the little notebook you were met with Alexia‘s handwriting.
20th August
Today, I started. I smiled at her - she returned my smile. My heart fluttered at the sight of her, she‘s so gorgeous and her smile is so incredibly breathtaking. It wasn‘t her There-is-a-puppy!-smile (which is one of my favourites) or the bright wide smile that reaches the corner of her eyes (which I absolutely love) - it was much more than that. For me, it felt like a chance.
28th August
I can‘t help but drool at the sight of her. Especially after a won game. She‘s my Barcelona.
12th September
I said hi and bye today. Bye turned out to be a lot harder because she fell in training and hurt herself. It was very hard for me not to approach her then and there, I was so worried. Her nose scrunched up in pain when her wrist was touched or she tried to move - I hate seeing her in pain.
I hope she doesn’t think I’m weird because I disturbed the physio tests, I just wanted to see her (and of course, say adios).
13th September
I love her.
Entries like that filled the book, every step (and achievement) in her plan was documented and sometimes there were just adoration entries - pages about how pretty you are, what she likes about you, what you love, your character and habits described down to the smallest detail and so much more. It was clear to say that she loved you. And that she regretted everything (pages of explanations, apologies and regret showing that very clearly)
Two entries caught you off guard though, you didn’t know if you wanted to laugh or cry.
1st March
Dear diary - I guess it‘s a diary, isn‘t it? Correct me if I’m wrong..
Anyways.
Dear diary, it‘s almost midnight at the moment and Mapi just left. I had invited mama, alba and Mapi for dinner tonight, I had to talk to them about y/n. I should have done that ages ago but better late than never?
I told them about y/n, that we were a couple, that I kept her a secret, offered Alba money to keep her mouth shut - I told them everything. No, I’m not proud about how I treated the love of my life but they needed to know. I had to talk to someone. I have told mama about her before that already, not everything but she knew enough to know that I fucked up badly. Now, all of them know everything (not that we had sex, a lot of that too - just the.. yeah I think you get the point).
I want inner peace and it‘s already hard enough without her in my life, so that was the least I could to do to come in terms with myself, even though I will never forgive myself or won‘t regret it for the rest of my life.
Mama was not happy with me but I didn’t expect something else. She hadn’t raised me to be an ass and is very disappointed in me. I can’t blame her.
Alba was quiet most of the time, i think she is the one who understands most. My sister was the first and only one who knew about y/n. She saw what an idiot I was and how rude I acted towards the girl I love. I offered her money - how pathetic…
She got under my skin while she flirted with y/n and she knew that. She made me purposely jealous. And I deserved to feel that rage because I let y/n slip out of my hands while I knew that she loved me more than anything.
Mapi stayed here the longest, because I told her about my plan on winning my girl back. I want her. I need her. I don‘t deserve her, I truly don‘t but I can’t stop trying, can I? I‘m in love with her, I’ve never felt something so strong for anyone before. It scares me.
Mapi isn‘t proud of my behavior either because she knows what a ray of sunshine and pure soul y/n is but is willing to help when i need her.
22nd April (today’s date)
I‘m sorry for everything. There hasn’t been a day where I’m not regretting letting you walk through that door.
I hate myself for being so scared, selfish and rude but I love you. I love you with all my heart and every inch of my body - that hasn‘t changed.
You are probably surprised about the change of perspective who I’m talking to but I know you are clever, you know I’m talking to you, y/n.
Or questioning why I’m even addressing it to you, but i think, you will know me the best when you read all of my thoughts. It’s hard for me to let my walls down, I know you know that, and I want to give you the chance to see all of me to the time you weren’t my girlfriend and understand the reasons of my actions to- well, everything.
Right now, it‘s an hour before our date and I’m so nervous yet so excited. I want to make things right. I don‘t want to hide you, I want to show the world how incredible and gorgeous you are and how in love I am with you because I am. I think about you all day everyday. It might sound crazy but you are the one for me, I’ve Imagined our wedding multiple times, little y/n‘s running around calling for their mama.
I love you, I really do.
And no matter the outcome of this date, I will always love you, even when we don’t end up together. I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..
Happy ending?
Alexia took you out on multiple dates: the beach, mini golf, the cinema, every romantic place she could think of. She didn‘t hide you and the attention you got from her was making you feel special.
You felt free.
You felt happy.
You fell in love with her all over again.
And you enjoyed every second of it.
The romance you always dreamed of became your reality. It was different than before with her. You both were full of life. It felt natural to hold hands as you walked down the streets, share kisses in the rain, or have a hearty argument in the restaurant over who paid for the meal (spoiler: la reina always won) yet things weren’t official. Alexia had the question resting on her tongue, not sure if it was right to ask you. She wanted to, she really did, but in the back of her mind, she always heard a voice "you‘re not good enough. You‘ve fucked up before. She‘ll never give you another chance" however Alexia wasn‘t the same - she wasn’t scared anymore. She was ready to show everybody how in love she was with you. She couldn‘t care less what the media would say about the two of you being together or what other people think about you.
She just wanted you.
So, she fought against the urge to believe the voice in the back of her head. She was stronger than that.
-
Your body was leaned against Alexia, her arms snuggled around you as your legs tangled together, her head resting on your shoulder as you watched some netflix show. The atmosphere was quiet and relaxing, the moment seemed perfect.
"I never want to let you walk through that door again, at least not without me holding your hand" she whispered, her grip tightening around your waist, "I’m forever sorry that I ever did, I promise."
Your heart stopped, everything before hadn’t been brought up since her shy smiles - the start of something new - "if you let me, I will show you every day that you‘re not my secret. That you are my girlfriend"
turning in her hold, you looked at her. Had she fought enough? Did she deserve to be forgiven? Will it be the truth that you won’t be her secret?
She showed you.
"Are you asking me to be your girlfriend, la reina?" you asked, smiling, pushing all the negative thoughts away.
She deserved another chance.
"Sí"
It will be the truth.
"Then ask me"
"Will you be my girlfriend?" her heart stopped beating, her hopes high for a positive responds, her nerves at its highest.
"Yes"
Relief washing over her as she heard the answer.
no secret
The girls knew right away that the two of you were a couple as you walked into the locker room with intertwined hands.
In training, Alexia would stay close to you, preferably touching you (an arm around your shoulder, hand resting on the small of you back, etc) and constantly engaging you in a conversation.
"Finally asked her out, hm?" Ingrid teased Alexia as she stood next to Mapi, Ale‘s hand tightening on your waist. While the Norse‘s comment was meant innocently, the three of you froze - Ingrid still didn't know the whole story.
"Yeah, took me a bit to realize that she’s special" Alexia said, eyes finding yours. Her eyes were questions marks - are you alright? was this okay? In responds, you quickly pecked her cheek.
As you turned back to Ingrid and Mapi, you left Ale’s touch, throwing an arm around your best friend, "What about a double date?" you asked excitedly, knowing the Norwegian woman would agree in an instant.
In the background, you heard Mapi groan, playfully shoving your girlfriend, "I’m blaming you for this" as she listened to Ingrid and you planning where you would go. Nonetheless both Spaniards followed you to the changing room like lost puppies, eyes full of hearts as love glowed around them.
It was save to say, that double dates became a regular occurrence.
-
"Amor? Can we talk about something?" the girl looked up from her dinner plate.
"Don‘t you like it?" you asked, referring to the new recipe you had tried.
"No, it’s delicious" she put down her fork, hand reaching for your free one, "mama invited us for dinner" she said in a gentle voice, "do you want to go? I told her, I want to talk to you about it first before I say yes. In case, you don‘t want to"
"Do you want to go?" you questioned, unsure if she wanted this as much as you did.
"Yes, I’d like you to meet my family officially. As my girlfriend."
This moment showed you that you weren’t her dirty secret anymore - not at all.
"Only if you‘re okay with that, of course" she squeezed your hand, letting you know that you can say 'no' if you weren‘t comfortable "we don‘t need to rush anything" as she wanted to do everything at the pace you set.
You were her first priority.
"Does your mother like wine?" you answered, agreeing to have dinner with her family while you felt the excitement rush through your body.
-
"My family loves you, amor" Alexia said as the two of you were in the car on your way home from dinner. Her hand rested on your thigh as yours rested on top of hers, "you think so?"
"Sí, claro. You‘re perfect" lifting your hand, she pressed a kiss on the back of it before settling back down, your cheeks turning red.
After awhile of comfortable silence, you broke the tranquil atmosphere "You know, we‘ve never talked about the notebook" you whispered. You didn’t know why the words left your mouth but you couldn’t take them back either. In fact, you wanted to talk about it ever since you had read the pages full of information, thoughts and love yet never had the courage to bring it up. There was no reason to do so, Alexia was your girlfriend, you had read about her build up plan on winning you back, all the things she loved about you and the pages of regret and disappointment.
She knew that this day would come eventually - always wondering when. It had been awhile since she had given you the booklet.
"I don’t want to make you uncomfortable, I just want you to know that I really appreciated- still do the gesture of getting to know you in a way that I didn‘t know before."
She was very grateful that you didn't want to discuss the topic any further as she was still slightly embarrassed about all the feeling she had exposed in that book. But she also knew that the day would come where the both of you would have a very detailed conversation about every written word in there.
"Maybe one day we‘ll have a home where nobody had walked through that door and where you would never have to leave the door open for me." you whispered, smiling softly before looking out of the window at the night sky.
Alexia knew immediately what you were talking about
'I promise you to love you from afar and forever so. And if you should ever not have a home - mine will be forever yours. I will always let that door open for you..'
and what you were implying.
So, with the moon shining, the stars lighting, she promised that one day a shared home would be reality.
"I‘ll let the lights on instead" she chuckled, remembering the multiple times you‘d walked into something in the dark.
Ps. the internet went crazy when Alexia posted a picture dump of you on your first anniversary (finally confirming the rumours)
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girlgenius1111 · 23 days
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alexia x reader alexia is struggling post knee surgery and just as she’s about to finally talk to r, r gets hurt, and it’s partially alexia’s fault. cw: injury... nothing else really.
-----
Alexia was stoic. Your girlfriend never let anyone know what she was really thinking. You were the exception, and even then, you still had to pry her feelings out of her.
It had been a long few months. Alexia's injury, the speculation surrounding her renewal, continued issues with the federation. Through it all, Alexia had been stony faced. Even with you, where she was normally more vulnerable, she had remained detached, as if the emotions surrounding these things did not exist.
If there was one thing you knew about Alexia, it was that you couldn't push her. She would come to you, in her own time, when she was ready. It sometimes took longer than you would have liked, but she always came around, in the end.
You could read her well, and you knew when she was inching closer to a breakdown. On the day that you were sure it was going to happen, positive that she would pull you into bed after training and cling to you, not letting go until she felt better, you broke your nose.
Well, more specifically, Alexia broke your nose. It was a complete accident; you'd been visiting her in the gym where she'd been doing her training. The team had finished early, and Alexia still had a few exercises to go, so you were keeping her company.
If it was anyone's fault, it was Mapi's. She was fucking around on the massage table, throwing little pieces of paper across the gym at you, while she got her knee massaged. You knew she hated the process, and even with Ingrid sitting next to her, slyly holding her hand, she needed a distraction, and pissing you off seemed to be it. She launched another little ball at you. You'd been looking down at your phone when the paper hit you in the head, and you glared at the defender, leaning down to pick it up.
Alexia didn't know how close behind her you were, as she finished up talking to the physio. She had her heavy water bottle in her hand and she was swinging it around like she was a toddler that couldn't hold still, yet another hint that she was going to be upset once you both got home.
You'd barely picked up the paper before another one was landing a few inches closer to your girlfriend, ricocheting off your head. Mapi's shout of alarm came a second too late, and you leaned closer to the ball, and to the blonde, just as she switched hands with her water bottle, swinging it directly back into your face.
Your nose made a sickening crunch, and Alexia turned around in horror, dropping her water, and immediately trying to kneel down by where you were leaning over. Her knee protested, though, at the sudden movement, and she yelped in pain, falling back onto her butt. Her face burned with embarrassment as you shook off the physio, blood gushing through your fingers.
"Ale, are you okay?" You asked, the words barely understandable as you spoke through the blood, and through your hands. Your nose was visibly split open, yet your attention was only on Alexia as she got to her feet, taking your face in her hands. She was wracked with guilt, taking the towel someone handed her and replacing your hands with hers.
"Lo siento mucho, mi amor, dios mio." Alexia said roughly. The physios finally sprung into action, gently pushing Ale out of their way, and moving closer to inspect your nose.
"It's okay, baby, it's not your fault." You promised, trying to send her a smile as you were led out of the gym and towards a medical room.
Alexia stood, arms hanging limply at her sides, as she blinked at the door you exited through. She looked like she was malfunctioning, taking a few steps closer to the door before stopping, completely and uncharacteristically unsure of herself. Mapi and Ingrid, forgotten on the massage table, watched their captain act in a way they'd never seen before.
"Ingrid. Go fix her." Mapi said out of the corner of her mouth. Ingrid nodded, walking closer and putting a hand on her captain's arm. Alexia jumped slightly, but drew herself up to her full height. She looked fearsome, glaring around Ingrid at the Norwegian's girlfriend.
"Idiota, María." She hissed, before stalking out of the room and following you down the hall, where, presumably, she would revert back to Soft Alexia.
Ingrid sighed, returning to Mapi's side. "You and your damn paper balls."
"Do you think Ale is going to cut off her nose to give to her girl, or will she take mine?" Mapi wondered
"Yours for sure. Two birds, one stone."
-----
The drive home was completely silent. On your part, because it was hard to talk when you had an ice pack pressed to your face. Alexia was silent because she was rather conflicted; she felt horrible. For breaking your nose, yes. But also, because she was at the end of her patience, the end of her strength. She needed you. You were the only person she trusted to see her upset, but now you were hurt, and it was her fault and she couldn't burden you with this.
You would have noticed this, under normal circumstances, you would have picked on the guilt and anxiety radiating off your girlfriend. Your nose was killing you though, completely broken. It was to be seen whether you’d need surgery or not, depending on how the healing process went. You were concussion free, thank god, but you were being brought home and put on bed rest anyway, thanks to Alexia’s intimidating glare at the physio, who had quickly instructed you how Alexia wanted. So, you were rather distracted, focused instead of getting home, showering, eating something, and crawling into bed. 
Alexia helped you out of the car and inside the house as if you were a priceless, fragile object, her hands resting on your back and shoulder so lightly you barely felt them. She made you sit down on the sofa, ignoring your arguments that you could help with dinner and heading into the kitchen. She just made 2 sandwiches, bringing one out to you, beginning to eat in silence. She was practically glued to you, the entire left side of her body pressed against yours. It was at this moment that you realized she had yet to speak a word since walking into the house. 
“Ale, are you feeling alright?” You asked, because it was easier to get Alexia to admit weakness when she could play it off to being sick. You could convince her to be honest later, but for now, you needed her to speak, even a word. 
“I am okay. Care if I shower first?” She asked, standing up and taking your plate out of your hands. 
You honestly did mind, but you nodded easily, not really feeling like denying her anything at this point. 
“Can I join you?” You asked, smiling softly at her. Alexia was normally never one to deny herself the chance to shower with you, and this time was no different. The smallest of smiles tugged at her lips, and she nodded eagerly, grabbing your hand and pulling you in the direction of the bathroom. 
-------
Alexia tried to hold herself together, she really did. It was a lot harder than it had ever been, though, and every time she caught sight of your swollen face, she felt herself inch closer and closer to a breakdown. Her emotions had been too much, before, but now? Compounded with the guilt she was feeling, they were completely overwhelming. 
She made it through most of the shower, and it was only as you rinsed the conditioner from your hair, the last thing you needed to do, that she broke. It was dumb, but seeing you flinch as your hand accidentally brushed over your nose was just too much for her, and very suddenly, there were teardrops sliding down her face that she hoped you would think were just from the shower head. 
Alexia bit her lip in an attempt to silence the sob that was ripping it’s way out of her chest, but was not very successful. You opened your eyes, finding Alexia stood in front of you, with a hand covering her face, now silently crying.
“Baby,” you sighed, turning the water off and pulling Alexia through the glass door. You wrapped a fluffy towel around your girlfriend’s shaking shoulders, more than a little concerned with the way she let you guide her out of the shower.  “Is it your knee?” You asked, although you were pretty sure it wasn’t. You had to check, though, that had to be your first thought, because it was always Alexia’s first thought. 
Alexia shook her head, moving her hand to cup your cheek, exposing her bloodshot eyes. Her lips fell into a sad frown as she looked down at you. “I broke your nose,” she mumbled miserably, her fingers tracing delicately over your swollen face. 
“No, Mapi made you break my nose.” You corrected, trying to lighten the mood. It didn’t work, and Alexia just shook her head, gripping the towel tight around her. She looked so vulnerable, so small, so unlike herself, it was tearing your heart out of your chest. 
You pulled on her hand, guiding her into the bedroom and gently pushing her to sit on the edge of the bed, walking away briefly to get her some pajamas to change into. She pulled them on, her eyes still fixed on the ground, now refusing to look at your face. You wondered if it was the fear of the vulnerability of eye contact or the fear of seeing your broken nose that stopped her. Either way, it wouldn’t do. 
You tilted her chin up, her wet hazel eyes meeting yours. “You broke my nose, you haven’t played in months, the federation is making your teammates miserable, and you’re exhausted.” 
“I am okay,” she whispered, so faintly and so pathetically that you had to resist the urge to roll your eyes. 
“Don’t lie, love. You’re not okay. You haven’t been for a while. It’s catching up to you, huh?” 
“Sí.” Alexia admitted, one of her hands wrapping itself around your leg, holding you in place close to her, as if she was afraid that the very simple confession would make you run. 
“You need me, yes?” 
“I broke your nose.” Alexia said again, a few tears sliding down her cheeks. 
You wiped them away gently. “Alexia.”
The blonde sighed shakily. “Te necesito.” 
“Bueno. Get under the covers, I’ll be right back.” 
Alexia frowned, her other hand reaching out to wrap around your abdomen and pull you back as you stepped away. Her long arms wrapped around you, and she pressed her face into your bare back. You smiled to yourself, untangling yourself from her grip and laughing just slightly at the huff of annoyance she let out. When Alexia finally allowed herself to feel, to be clingy, it was like all the attention she didn't let herself ask for caught up to her, and she acted like she wanted to climb into your skin with you. 
“I need to change, love. Just give me a second.” 
You didn’t look back as you entered the closet, pulling on the nearest shirt and shorts that just happened to belong to Alexia, before you returned to the bedroom, fighting a grin at the sight of Alexia laying in bed, the covers pulled up to her chin. Her arms were distinctly crossed over her chest, and there was a slight pout on her face. 
You slid into the bed next to her, laughing lightly at the way she eagerly pulled you into her, wrapping all four of her limbs around your smaller body and sighing in relief. You were expecting her to talk, honestly, thinking that she was upset enough that she’d be ready to have a conversation. Instead, though, as her breath tickled your neck, she asked a quiet question. 
“Amor, can I go to sleep?” You knew she wasn’t really asking permission to sleep, she was asking you to stay, in the least vulnerable way possible. 
“Of course you can, amor. We have the day off tomorrow. Sleep for as long as you need to. I’ll be right here.” You replied, smoothing some hair out of her face as her eyes fluttered shut. She forced them back open, though, eyes flickering from yours down to your nose. 
“Wake me up if you are hurting? Please?” She asked, and you nodded, though you had no intention of doing so. Alexia hadn’t slept well in… you didn’t even know how long. This was the perfect opportunity to give herself a break, and you weren’t about to take that away from her, no matter how badly your nose hurt. 
Alexia knew you too well, though, shaking her head with a frown as she settled her head back down on your chest, unable to resist the comfort that listening to your heartbeat brought her. 
“You are lying.” She mumbled, somehow seeming already half asleep. Her head moved with your chest as you laughed silently, and as she smiled a bit, too. 
“I am lying. I’ll wake you up if I need you, though, okay? I promise.” 
“You better.” Alexia grumbled. 
“Go to sleep.” You instructed, feeling her fully relax into you. It was barely 8pm, yet you were exhausted, and you fell into an easy sleep soon after Alexia. 
-------
“Mi amor, wake up.” Alexia whispered, giving your shoulder a gentle shake. You grunted, opening your eyes. Well, you tried to open them. Your left eye was rather… swelled shut, and the right was only a bit better off. You could just barely make out Alexia’s face hovering over yours, worry contorting her features. Your head was pounding, and you gave up all hope of treating Alexia to a self care day today. You weren’t sure you’d be able to get out of bed. “I am sorry to wake you, bebé, but it is 11am, and your nose does not look too good.” 
You weren’t very happy with being woken up, now very aware of the pain radiating from your nose, and all you could think was to make it stop. “Ice, please,” you murmured, feeling a gentle kiss pressed to your cheek, before Alexia’s weight was gone from next to you. 
You didn’t open your eyes when she returned, just held your hand out for the ice pack. 
“I can put-”
“Let me, please.” You insisted, knowing that no matter how gently it was pressed to your face, it was going to hurt, and you really didn't want to flinch away from Alexia’s touch right now. 
Alexia handed you the ice pack, and you gently pressed it to your nose, letting out a sharp hiss of pain. Your girlfriend’s hand grabbed your free one, and you squeezed tight. 
“Ow ow ow,” you cried through gritted teeth. A few tears escaped from your swollen eyes, and you fought back a sob yourself, now, feeling completely wretched. 
“Shh, estas bien, estas bien,” Alexia cooed, feeling completely helpless. “I am so sorry, mi amor, so so sorry.” 
“Hold me?” You asked quietly, ignoring her apology completely. 
“Anything, cariño, anything you want,” she promised, gently pulling you into her arms. The pain began to numb eventually, but your tears didn’t stop. You were so incredibly frustrated with yourself. You were supposed to be taking care of Alexia, letting her need you, and instead, you were crying because of a broken nose, making her feel even worse. 
“I’m sorry,” You mumbled into her shirt, your cheek pressed to her chest. You liked it better, cuddling like this. You liked it when she held you, her large hands splayed across your back, her chin resting on the top of your head. 
“Why are you sorry?” She asked. 
“You’re upset, and you need me, and I’m crying and-”
“Stop, amor, do not be sorry. You always tell me to feel what I need to feel. You need to do that too, sí? You are in pain, you can cry, you can always cry. You never have to be sorry for hurting, and you never have to be sorry for needing me.” Alexia insisted, running her fingers through your hair, being very conscious of not letting anything come into contact with your nose. 
“You need me, too.” You said miserably. 
“I do.” Alexia admitted. “But I have you, right here, in my arms. I feel better already, mi amor, I really do. I am okay, I just want you to be okay. Let me take care of you. You can have a turn later, when you can open your eyes.” 
You choked out a laugh, wincing when it caused pain to shoot across your face. “Don’t make me laugh,” you groaned. 
“Well I should go then, amor. I cannot just turn it off.” Alexia said seriously, beginning to slide out from under you. 
“Don’t you dare.” You warned, your hand tightening its grip on her shirt. Alexia smiled to herself, readjusting you against her. 
“Te tengo, mi vida, te tengo.” She whispered into your hair. You sighed happily, the pain in your face lessened, somehow, by the affection the blonde was showing you. 
“Talk to me.” You asked after a minute, tangling your leg with hers under the covers. Your nose might be shattered, and you might be almost concussed, but you weren’t giving up on getting Alexia to lean on you. 
“About what?” Alexia whispered back, not stopping her fingers softly running through your hair. 
“How are you doing?” 
Your girlfriend was silent for a few moments, seemingly thinking through her answer. She was more honest when she did respond than you expected. “I am okay. I mean, it has been a rough few months. I was not really okay yesterday, but I am now.” 
“Ale, you don’t need to be okay just because I’m not either,” you started, but Alexia cut you off with a shake of her head. 
“No, I am not lying. I am okay. I feel better. Seeing you hurt… it puts things into perspective. All that matters, really, is that you are okay, and you are with me. Everything else is… not important. Not if I have you.” 
You weren’t really used to Alexia making big statements like this. It wasn’t that she didn’t express her love for you, because she did. It was just… she normally did it with actions, rather than words. This was a welcome surprise, though, and you felt your already swollen eyes welling with tears. 
“You’ll always have me.” You promised, forcing one eyelid open to gaze up at her. You knew you probably looked atrocious at the moment, all swollen and bruised, but Alexia still looked at you like she always did; like you were the best thing she’d seen that day, the best thing she ever would see. 
“Even if I break your nose again?” she joked, but her voice was a little choked up. 
“Even then.” You promised, puckering your lips for a kiss. Alexia leaned in, so delicately, barely brushing her lips with yours. 
“Te amo, más que a todo,” she whispered, her thumb rubbing a light circle over your cheek. You shivered a little at the contact, whispering the words back. You could see in her eyes, even with your rather challenged vision, that she meant it. 
-----
i've had this in the drafts for actual months
i feel like i say this with half the fics i post but i really... hate this one. which is why she's been hidden away for such a long time but i finally finished the ending and i just thought i'd post and delete it later if i hate it still :)
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